#sexual-attraction — Public Fediverse posts

I just started reading "Ace: What asexuality reveals about desire, society and the meaning of sex" by Angela Chen and I'm already more confused than before.

Ever since I'm taking estrogen and antiandrogens I lack sex drive. I always said about myself that "I was always asexual in my head, but my body only turned asexual with the hormones". What I mean is that I never found sex particularly appealing in my head. I was always to some degree scared of it and disgusted of it. But I still wanted to have sex - especially with my first love.

Now the book tells me, that asexuality is the lack of sexual attraction (towards specific persons) not the lack of sex drive. I never thought about that before, but that makes sense to me.

But now I am thinking: I don't have sex drive, but do I have sexual attraction? I do find some people sexy - it's the first thing I notice about them actually and the first thing I judge about them.

Angela Chen describes sexual attraction as "sex drive towards someone" or "sex drive caused by someone", so by that definition you can't have sexual attraction without sex drive, right?

So what I experience, physical attraction - seeing someone, finding them appealing and wanting to be close to them - is not sexual attraction, because I don't want sex?

So I am asexual after all?

Maybe it'll all make more sense when I continue reading the book...

#ace #asexuality #asexual #sexuality #SexDrive #sex #SexualAttraction #attraction #arousal #desire #confusion #queer