#cryforhelp — Public Fediverse posts

Where to even begin:
I've had a WILD fucking past 5 days. I'm all set to do HRT on September 12th, but I foolishly talk about fatigue and the endo delays HRT. AND then I get unplanned labs the next day. Also dydrogesterone isn't in the USA so neighbors of it are needed.

Now then, we move to Saturday: I have a LONG car ride during which I'm only able to attend the concert parts of Splatoon 3's Grand Festival. And then we see the Green Day concert after the drive and some preparation. Good times, except we lose track of our parking at the end and my feet by the end of everything was in physical pain. Also someone detransitioned but that's besides the point.

Sunday is quite a lazy day, apart from the car ride. Fast forward to Monday: I'm with my grandparents for an appointment, and they of course like the old me but I've now seen their mental decline and had to stop them from being scammed twice. I get through all the misgendering. And then at the appointment, I fortunately ended up 5 minutes late because my mom missed two turns. I say it was fortunate because in my absence, two IRL friends I've known for many years and who I knew were somewhat right-leaning but amicable (one was a delinquent who got expelled and my dad hated him, and the other was a long-term friend of mine but who was worried about the extent of my transition.)

And then they flushed their dogwhistle ruse down the toilet by mocking pronouns and telling another friend of mine who literally knows everything about me that they will always deadname me. My good friend calls them KKKonservatives in response. I witness none of it, and am only informed AFTER seeing my therapist that night.

I tell the story to LGBTQ+ college clubs, and my older college was much more chipper about it. The current college gay club featured two cisn't people who offered support ruining it by using dude/bro on me and starting to buy into the "bro is gender-neutral" bullshit, and I ended up the next day telling a nonbinary campus therapist, and they gave a referendum order to the club.

AND then my fucking Panda Express clerk keeps fucking calling me Sir.

AND one person who I always talk to early in class decided to attempt to mislead me about a test that wasn't happening to make me mad.

I'm SO fucking done with people, and I'm listening to some VERY feminine songs to emasculate my thought processes. Maybe I DO want mental changes from E?

I'm just so fucking done with being seen as male. I'm intersex and nonbinary, and how far do I need to go to prove I'm neither male nor female, especially the former. Also fuck Nintendo for Professor Oak's questions. Saying I'm a boy or girl is almost exclusively untruth, so either way I'm lying to Oak except not because I'm bigender between binaries (technically I'm a demiambonec/demibigenderfluidflux, going by polygender as a catch-all, and at one point before the fae contention I called myself a genderfae demiboy [Though I am English and Irish so MAYBE fae isn't as charged for me] so there is that. So the answer is both of the Oak questions and simultaneously none of them.)

It's a complete fucking mess in my life right now, and I've been listening to some rather interesting music, much of it emo.

AND the psych and primary labs haven't been done/fixed either, and I'm having issues with my personal PC.

I'm just so fucking done right now. If you have anything positive to tell me, do so. #cryforhelp #lifeupdate #medicalerror #medicalhorror #hrtmorelikehurt #hrt #endocrinologist #americanhealthcareisbullshit #americanhealthcaresucks #splatoon #splatoon3 #grandfestival #finalfest #parkingwoes #parking #footpain #detrans #misgendering #dementia #alzheimers #pandaexpress #betrayal #bigotedfriends #delinquents #dogwhistle #therapywoes #supportgroupfailure #deception #estrogen #synthetichrt #intersex #fucknintendo #ambonec #bigender #genderfluix #fluidflux #UK #irldrama #emomusic #techissues #greenday #concert