#thingsitoldthetelemarketer — Public Fediverse posts
Live and recent posts from across the Fediverse tagged #thingsitoldthetelemarketer, aggregated by home.social.
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#ThingsIToldTheTelemarketer i juist dail 9 on my phone. And the number gets blackisted on my #asterisk voip server. The current and future calls are redirected to my #homeassistant, which picks up the phone. Tells the caller that the number is blacklisted. Gives a quote of the day and gives an option to file a complaint at my voicemail.
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Me (in a whispered voice): “How do you get blood out of the carpet. I mean…a LOT of blood?”
Me: “No, you can’t speak to my husband. He’s not permitted to leave the basement. We haven’t seen him in years.”
Me: “Sorry, we’re in the middle of our breakfast (lunch, dinner). Why don’t you give me your home number and I’ll call you back after we’ve finished. Oh, you can’t give me your home #? Then why are you calling mine?”
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Current #trending #tags on #Fediverse
#Photomonday 1.648 people
#Fotomontag 1.482 people
#brazil 712 people
#peoplefarming 533 people
#monday 434 people
#mondog 430 people
#thingsitoldthetelemarketer 397 people
#Sharrows 297 people
#mondaymotivation 291 people
#FotoMontag 267 people
📈 Boost 😉 -
Caller (East Indian accent): Hello, I'm from the government.
Me: Really? Which one? (Municipal? County? State? Federal?)
Caller: I'm from the government.
Me: Which one?
Caller: Fuck you! Hangs up.
Me: Well, I guess he wasn't from the government.
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"It's done. Send the cleanup crew."
#ThingsIToldTheTelemarketer -
Sorry, I spent all my money on streaming services
#ThingsIToldTheTelemarketer #HashtagGames
#Streaming #Netflix #HBOMax #DisneyPlus #Peacock #ParamountPlus
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#ThingsIToldTheTelemarketer She’s not here but she can be reached at 867-5309.
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Hello, Psychic Hotline. I knew you’d call.
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#thingsitoldthetelemarketer not me but someone I know
"Hi, I'm retired, this is a residential number, goodbye"
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Too much fun not to share #thingsitoldthetelemarketer
* Me to Car Warranty scam: What? What happened to my car, I can't talk I need to check on my car
* Me to Solar Panel sales me: My psychic told me you'd be calling me, when he said I'd get a whole solar system I thought he meant planets. -
Here's my #ThingsIToldTheTelemarketer
telemarketer: "Hi I'm telemarketer"
me: *hangs up* -
Good morning #Mastonauts #MasoPlanners #Mastodonians #TuskeHeads and #Tooters. Hope you have a great week. Sometimes I just talk in gibberish when telemarketers call. #ThingsIToldTheTelemarketer #KindOfFeelBad #NotReallyThough
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Good morning #Mastonauts #MasoPlanners #Mastodonians #TuskeHeads and #Tooters. Hope you have a great week. Sometimes I just talk in gibberish when telemarketers call. #ThingsIToldTheTelemarketer #KindOfFeelBad #NotReallyThough
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Good morning #Mastonauts #MasoPlanners #Mastodonians #TuskeHeads and #Tooters. Hope you have a great week. Sometimes I just talk in gibberish when telemarketers call. #ThingsIToldTheTelemarketer #KindOfFeelBad #NotReallyThough
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Good morning #Mastonauts #MasoPlanners #Mastodonians #TuskeHeads and #Tooters. Hope you have a great week. Sometimes I just talk in gibberish when telemarketers call. #ThingsIToldTheTelemarketer #KindOfFeelBad #NotReallyThough
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Good morning #Mastonauts #MasoPlanners #Mastodonians #TuskeHeads and #Tooters. Hope you have a great week. Sometimes I just talk in gibberish when telemarketers call. #ThingsIToldTheTelemarketer #KindOfFeelBad #NotReallyThough
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Currently #trending #tags on #fediverse
#brazil 1.769 people
#brasilia 870 people
#bolsonaro 728 people
#Fotomontag 338 people
#thingsitoldthetelemarketer 287 people
#Photomonday 229 people
#peoplefarming 217 people
#silentsunday 209 people
#brasilien 172 people
#Bolsonaro 161 people
Also check out #HashtagGames for some Fedi #FUN -
Nothing. I merely start moaning into the phone.
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“Am I speaking to the king of the castle?”
“Smash the patriarchy, bro.”
#ThingsIToldTheTelemarketer #HashtagGames -
#ThingsIToldTheTelemarketer
Caller: "Hello, this is Bob and I'm calling to talk to you about...."
Me: (hangup) beep beep beep .... -
Male telemarketer: Is your husband available?
Me: A husband?! Eww! Nooo! And I am not in the market for one.
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Caller: "Hello, this is Bob and I'm calling to talk to you about...."
Me, "Sorry, Rob, Bob isn't here right now."
Caller, "No, my name is Bob."
Me, "Well, Bob isn't here right now. I can take a message for him."
Caller, "No, my name is Bob."
Me, "Ok. Sorry, Bob, there's no Rob here. Goodbye"
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#ThingsIToldTheTelemarketer "Hello, this is [nearest city name] morgue. You kill em, we chill em. How may I help you?
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#ThingsIToldTheTelemarketer "I don't have a computer."
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What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?
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#ThingsIToldTheTelemarketer
Is it pronounced gif with a hard 'G" like gift or jif with a soft 'G', like the peanut butter? -
I just put the phone up to the TV and walk away.
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“You heard about Pluto? That’s messed up, right?”
#ThingsIToldTheTelemarketer
#HashtagGames #Psych #BurtonGuster #DuleHill #Pluto @hashtaggames -
“You heard about Pluto? That’s messed up, right?”
#ThingsIToldTheTelemarketer
#HashtagGames #Psych #BurtonGuster #DuleHill #Pluto @hashtaggames -
“You heard about Pluto? That’s messed up, right?”
#ThingsIToldTheTelemarketer
#HashtagGames #Psych #BurtonGuster #DuleHill #Pluto @hashtaggames -
“You heard about Pluto? That’s messed up, right?”
#ThingsIToldTheTelemarketer
#HashtagGames #Psych #BurtonGuster #DuleHill #Pluto @hashtaggames -
“You heard about Pluto? That’s messed up, right?”
#ThingsIToldTheTelemarketer
#HashtagGames #Psych #BurtonGuster #DuleHill #Pluto @hashtaggames