#weightlossjourney — Public Fediverse posts

Something that can be pretty demoralising - losing weight at the size I am - is how little difference it makes at first.

Most people losing 2 stone, would consider it a huge milestone and it would definitely be noticeable.
But I’m still wearing the same clothes and I’m looking the same in the mirror.
Some clothes are a little roomier. Maybe.

Still. Keep going.

#TaperingTroggie #GLP1 #Weightloss #Diet #WeightlossJourney

Check in day again.
I got cross at my scales because for the second time since I got them a couple of weeks ago, they showed a higher weight once I was recording via the app.
The only change was I had my phone in my hand! My phone does not weight half a kilo FFS.

Decided I didn’t trust putting them on the mosaic floor of the bathroom any more. Took them down to the reliable lino in the kitchen and what do you know? Back down. 0.9kg lost this week.

So I am now officially one 💩 away from 2 stone total loss. In 7 weeks. I guess that’s ok.

#TaperingTroggie #GLP1 #Weightloss #Diet #WeightlossJourney

Well I did it anyway.

It was hard to go do it, hard to do it and hard to accept that I FINALLY WALKED A MILE because if nothing else I’m a stubborn bastard.
It doesn’t feel like it’s an achievement.
*What? You did what you were supposed to be doing!*

How am I ever supposed to feel good about this if I’m incapable of releasing the reward chemicals when I do the “right” thing? Fuck knows.

#TaperingTroggie #GLP1 #Weightloss #Diet #WeightlossJourney

I have to go get on the walking pad. I’ve ordered D out of the house because I can’t possibly do it with him here. So I have to do it. If I don’t then why am I even doing this?
I could buy a reasonable amount of cake instead of a new pen of wegovy.
Walking is doing nothing to lose the weight. Even though it hurts already. You’re not doing enough. You haven’t even managed to do a mile yet.
But if you don’t do it today then you’re failing.
So you might as well give up now.

#TaperingTroggie #GLP1 #Weightloss #Diet #WeightlossJourney

Another check in day. I’m 0.8kg down. Or 0.5kg if you believe the scales when I stepped on to do the official weight on the app as opposed the same scales literally 2 minutes prior.

Feels like I’ve hit a bit of a plateau and I’m not handling it particularly well. I don’t know if it’s hormones but I’m feeling pretty nihilistic about the whole process today.

Not helped by taking the extremely ill-advised step of calculating how long it’d take to get to X weight at my current rate of loss.
3 years. Over 3 years actually. And I’d still be considered obese. I’d still get doctors telling me to lose weight. I’d still be seen as fat.

But it’s fine because a couple of pounds a week is *good* weightloss right? It’s sustainable. It’s healthy.

No. It’s not fast enough. So my brain starts doing what it does and did you know 3 years is? That’s £6,350 worth of wegovy. To still be fat? Assuming the price doesn’t go up, which it definitely will.
But I’m almost certainly not going to have the money to keep taking it by then.
Also I’ll be over 50 and it’s only going to get harder to lose once I fully hit menopause.

I’m 11kg down now and I’ve noticed no difference. I could probably lose another 11kg and still not look or feel any different.

The fact that just sorting diet out is not enough already. I have to look at increasing exercise and that terrifies me. I hate admitting that because the shame it brings. But the amount of pain and discomfort that comes with that is a monumental Great Wall like 10 million feet high that is and always has been my biggest obstacle.

I’m tearful. I’m angry. Every cell of my brain is screaming at me to just give up.

#TaperingTroggie #GLP1 #Weightloss #Diet #WeightlossJourney

I’ve been thinking about my goal.
I have a few and I’m sticking to things that don’t involve scales or numbers.
I don’t want to be skinny or even thin tbh. I’m 46. That ship has sailed.

I’ve been told my BMI is high basically all my life. I think BMI is absolute nonsense and may have done more damage to my body image than anything else. And I lived through diet culture in the 90s.

Until I went to secondary school I was the tallest in my class. Tallest. Not fattest. But I thought I was fat. I was certainly treated like I was by kids at school as well as my family, especially my mum and my nan.

When I see photos of myself at that age I get so angry and sad for that kid. I was definitely *not* fat.
I wish I could’ve seen myself then with kinder eyes.

#TaperingTroggie #WeightlossJourney

I enjoyed Eggs Benedict for breakfast at the hotel, as well as fudge, pizza and other treats over the weekend.
So I was bracing myself for another disappointing check in today.

However, I am 1.6kg/3.5lbs down! Officially lost over 10kg/22lbs/1.6stone now. Yay!

I think importantly, I enjoy these treats for what they are. Perhaps even a lot more so these days. But I am way less tempted to go overboard.

Past me would’ve gone down the *fuck it* spiral of “oh well, I’ve fallen off the diet wagon, may as well eat all of the junk until I feel absolutely awful because apparently that’s what I deserve”.

I just had some tasty eggs and some lovely fudge. So what?

I’m… quite proud of myself 😳

#TaperingTroggie #WeightlossJourney

It has now been a month since I started on wegovy and something that’s been a bit of a *moment* is realising my diet may not be an intrinsic part of who I am.

It’s easy to assume after 40 years of being in a bigger body that it must be your fault somehow.
Society certainly likes to not so much insinuate this as shout it loudly, in your face, at every opportunity.
Other people are not fat. It must be because you’re lazy. You lack the willpower.

How I assumed weight loss medications worked was to punish you if you didn’t stick to a low fat, low carb, low fun existence.

Eat a crumb of cake? Diarrhoea.
Have yourself some full fat yoghurt? Vomiting for you!

But my experience has (thankfully) been none of that. Yes, I’ve had / am having stomach issues. But not because of my diet per se or because I’m being punished for what I’m eating.
The meds slow my digestive system right down to the point where by the time food comes to the *exit*, every nutrient and every drop of water has been absorbed instead of flying through my body barely touching the sides. This is a good thing, mostly. Except for the exiting part, or lack thereof.

Aside from learning how much fibre to add without shitting myself, I mostly eat what I want. Seriously.
But snacking is almost nonexistent. I don’t really think about food between meals. When I do snack I find it so much easier to eat a smaller amount from a bag of crisps and leave the rest. “Food noise” has *drastically* decreased. The difference is genuinely mind blowing.

I dropped my breakfast of porridge this morning. What did I have instead?
An apple and a handful of macadamia nuts.
Who even am I?

The meds are not magic. I haven’t suddenly discovered what nutrition is or the ability to stop shoving McDonald’s in my face. My brain chemicals are just becoming more balanced so I make healthier choices without thinking. The last part is important.

I’m not saying I couldn’t have done that before. I could have.
But it’s like getting glasses or starting adhd meds (so I’m told).
You suddenly see the leaves on the trees. The vyvanse makes the world go quiet and it’s easier to think straight.

It’s like finding out you are the only one who has an invisible hippo named Gerald who screams at you 24/7.

You ask yourself - is this how it is for everyone else this whole time? Does nobody else have a Gerald??

Something that hit me hard when I got my autism diagnosis at 39 was if you’ve spent your entire life thinking that the world is just LOUD and if you’re the one who gets overwhelmed then it must be your fault. Be better.

Maybe this medication turns off Gerald and I find out I’ve still been living on hard mode this whole time.

#TaperingTroggie #WeightlossJourney

I guess I knew it was a possibility with starting HRT this week - I’ve gained for the first time since beginning wegovy.

Up 1.2kg / 2.64lbs.

I’ve been tracking my calories in an app for the past few days just for evidence to myself that I am in a deficit.
I’m not even reaching 2000 per day from what I can tell, which is well below my maintenance number, almost in the vlcd range.

The evidence points very much towards the HRT being the culprit but I still feel defeated.
I suppose all I can do is acknowledge that and try to be kind to myself.

Starting the next stage of titration today so onwards and… preferably in a more downwards direction 🤞

#TaperingTroggie #WeightlossJourney

The noticeable effects have pretty much vanished. I feel a bit “meh” the day of the jab but that’s it.
I don’t notice feeling fuller more quickly any more like I did in the first week.

Next week I start my new dose (0.5mg), but I’m still nowhere near what they say is the dose that’s supposed to be most effective (2.4mg) so I’m happy I’m apparently going the right way already.

#TaperingTroggie #WeightlossJourney

That’s 9.7kg or 1.5 stone or 21lbs down in 3 weeks. Blimey. #TaperingTroggie #WeightlossJourney

Check in day once again.
This week I’ve somehow managed 2.4kg loss. No idea how as there’s been the last of the Easter eggs and several treat meals for our anniversary as well as a distinct lack of exercise.
I am grateful but it is infuriating to my tism brain when this stuff doesn’t adhere to the rules.
Nothing to do but keep going!

#TaperingTroggie #WeightlossJourney

I was expecting this week to be less impressive than last week’s loss and it was. A lot. About half a kilo down.
I knew it was coming - I had an Easter egg and a couple of glasses of wine over the weekend.

Nothing much in the grand scheme of things, certainly less than I would normally have had over Easter but it was bound to effect it.

I am disappointed though.
Oh well. Onwards.

#TaperingTroggie #WeightlossJourney

I’m pondering when to actually take it though. We have a family thing this weekend, including a meal out that I could really do with not feeling like shit for so I was thinking of waiting until Monday. Is that daft?

I have planned poorly already.

#TaperingTroggie #weightlossjourney

My first #Wegovy pen has arrived.
They’ve also sent these.
Foreshadowing? 😩

#TaperingTroggie #weightlossjourney