#vol61issue41 — Public Fediverse posts

Kylie Jenner Photographed Wearing Amulet Containing Imprisoned Timothée Chalamet

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/kylie-jenner-photographed-wearing-amulet-containing-imprisoned-timothee-chalamet/

Kylie Jenner Photographed Wearing Amulet Containing Imprisoned Timothée Chalamet

https://fed.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/kylie-jenner-photographed-wearing-amulet-containing-imprisoned-timothee-chalamet/

Peter Barnell

https://fed.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/peter-barnell/

Medieval Scribe Keeps Forgetting ‘Whence/Whither’ Rule

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/medieval-scribe-keeps-forgetting-whence-whither-rule/

David Hammond

https://fed.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/david-hammond/

Medieval Scribe Keeps Forgetting ‘Whence/Whither’ Rule

https://fed.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/medieval-scribe-keeps-forgetting-whence-whither-rule/

Health Experts Warn Americans Not Sensually Eating Enough Fruit

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/health-experts-warn-americans-not-sensually-eating-enough-fruit/

Dwayne Johnson Intrigued After Learning About Special Trophy For Good Actors

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/dwayne-johnson-intrigued-after-learning-about-special-trophy-for-good-actors/

Red House

https://fed.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/red-house/

Mary Hill and Becca Cox

https://fed.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/mary-hill-and-becca-cox/

Dwayne Johnson Intrigued After Learning About Special Trophy For Good Actors

https://fed.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/dwayne-johnson-intrigued-after-learning-about-special-trophy-for-good-actors/

Health Experts Warn Americans Not Sensually Eating Enough Fruit

https://fed.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/health-experts-warn-americans-not-sensually-eating-enough-fruit/

Kimberly Cunningham

https://fed.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/kimberly-cunningham/

All I Ever Wanted Is To Be A Musician And For Music To Be Easy

https://fed.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/all-i-ever-wanted-is-to-be-a-musician-and-for-music-to-be-easy/

Travis Kelce Asks Taylor Swift If Jason Can Also Get Married With Them

https://fed.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/travis-kelce-asks-taylor-swift-if-jason-can-also-get-married-with-them/

Stephen Miller Reminds Picky-Eater Son That There Starving Kids In Basement

https://fed.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/stephen-miller-reminds-picky-eater-son-that-there-starving-kids-in-basement/

Man Donates  Body To   Culinary    Science

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/man-donates-body-to-culinary-science/

Can Any House Truly Be Owned?

https://fed.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/can-any-house-truly-be-owned/

Man Donates  Body To   Culinary    Science

https://fed.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/man-donates-body-to-culinary-science/

La-Z-Boy Introduces Adjustable Morphine Drip

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/la-z-boy-introduces-adjustable-morphine-drip/

La-Z-Boy Introduces Adjustable Morphine Drip

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/la-z-boy-introduces-adjustable-morphine-drip/

Guitar Center Institutes 72-Hour Waiting Period

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/guitar-center-institutes-72-hour-waiting-period/

Trump’s Military Spending By The Numbers

https://fed.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/trumps-military-spending-by-the-numbers/

Guitar Center Institutes 72-Hour Waiting Period

https://fed.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/guitar-center-institutes-72-hour-waiting-period/

Melania Trump Casts Longtime Aide Into Well Of Gloom

https://fed.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/melania-trump-casts-longtime-aide-into-well-of-gloom/

Cindy Patton

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/cindy-patton/

God Admits Imitation Crab Tastes Just As Good

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/god-admits-imitation-crab-tastes-just-as-good/

God Admits Imitation Crab Tastes Just As Good

https://fed.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/god-admits-imitation-crab-tastes-just-as-good/

Zillow Adds Segregation Score

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/zillow-adds-segregation-score/

Child’s Blow Into Car Breathalyzer Rewarded With Dicey Trip To Ice Cream Shop

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/childs-blow-into-car-breathalyzer-rewarded-with-dicey-trip-to-ice-cream-shop/

Zillow Adds Segregation Score

https://fed.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/zillow-adds-segregation-score/

RFK Jr. Coughs Up Pair Of Jeans

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/rfk-jr-coughs-up-pair-of-jeans/

Keith Belden

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/keith-belden/

Child’s Blow Into Car Breathalyzer Rewarded With Dicey Trip To Ice Cream Shop

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/childs-blow-into-car-breathalyzer-rewarded-with-dicey-trip-to-ice-cream-shop/

The Onion’s Top Songs: October 2025

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/top-songs-october-2025/

The Onion’s Top Songs: October 2025

https://fed.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/top-songs-october-2025/

California To Phase Out Ultra-Processed Foods In School Lunches

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/california-to-phase-out-ultra-processed-foods-in-school-lunches/

California To Phase Out Ultra-Processed Foods In School Lunches

https://fed.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/california-to-phase-out-ultra-processed-foods-in-school-lunches/

AI Deepfakes Of Dead Celebrities Spark Outrage

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/ai-deepfakes-of-dead-celebrities-spark-outrage/

ICE Raids: Myth Vs. Fact

https://fed.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/ice-raids-myth-vs-fact/

ICE Boasts Zero Murders Committed By 5-Year-Olds Since Child Detainments Began

https://fed.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/ice-boasts-zero-murders-committed-by-5-year-olds-since-child-detainments-began/

‘Task’ Teams Up With Wawa For New Fentanyl Brick Hoagie

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/task-teams-up-with-wawa-for-new-fentanyl-brick-hoagie/

Locust Humiliated Swarm He Organized Only Got 40 Million Attendees

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/locust-humiliated-swarm-he-organized-only-got-40-million-attendees/

Central European Guy At Other End Of Bar Watching Some Sport With Mallets On Phone

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/central-european-guy-at-other-end-of-bar-watching-some-sport-with-mallets-on-phone/

Paul McCartney Now Openly Referring To Self As ‘Last-Living Beatle’

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/paul-mccartney-now-openly-referring-to-self-as-last-living-beatle/

Nicole Kidman Tosses ‘The Garfield Movie’ Soundtrack Onto Burn Pile

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/nicole-kidman-tosses-the-garfield-movie-soundtrack-onto-burn-pile/

Central European Guy At Other End Of Bar Watching Some Sport With Mallets On Phone

https://fed.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/central-european-guy-at-other-end-of-bar-watching-some-sport-with-mallets-on-phone/

Locust Humiliated Swarm He Organized Only Got 40 Million Attendees

https://fed.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/locust-humiliated-swarm-he-organized-only-got-40-million-attendees/

Tyra Banks Releases Hot Ice Cream

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/tyra-banks-releases-hot-ice-cream/

What To Know About NSPM-7

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/what-to-know-about-nspm-7/

Kristi Noem: ‘Antifa Is A Highly Sophisticated Islamic Proto-State That Controlled Territory In Iraq And Syria From 2013-2019’

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/kristi-noem-antifa-is-a-highly-sophisticated-islamic-proto-state-that-controlled-territory-in-iraq-and-syria-from-2013-2019/

Israel Agrees To Go Back To Killing Palestinians On Less Frequent Basis

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/israel-agrees-to-go-back-to-killing-palestinians-on-less-frequent-basis/

USDA Deactivates Nation’s Corn During Government Shutdown

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/usda-deactivates-nations-corn-during-government-shutdown/

Bored National Guard Goes Door To Door Asking If Chicagoans Have Any Order They Need Restored

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/bored-national-guard-goes-door-to-door-asking-if-chicagoans-have-any-order-they-need-restored/

Legal Ruling Forces God To Add Cancer Warning To Earth

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/legal-ruling-forces-god-to-add-cancer-warning-to-earth/

MacArthur ‘Genius Grant’ Awarded To Inventor Of Eatin’ Shirt

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/macarthur-genius-grant-awarded-to-inventor-of-eatin-shirt/

U.S. Military Carries Out Strike On Scuffy The Tugboat

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/u-s-military-carries-out-strike-on-scuffy-the-tugboat/

Tips For Making Friends As An Adult

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/tips-for-making-friends-as-an-adult/

Nobel Prize In Medicine Awarded To Tums

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/nobel-prize-in-medicine-awarded-to-tums/

Travis Kelce Gets Cold Feet After Listening To New Taylor Swift Album

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/travis-kelce-gets-cold-feet-after-listening-to-new-taylor-swift-album/