#formerprintexclusive — Public Fediverse posts

Nation Detecting…Cardamom?

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/nation-detectingcardamom/

‘Same Great Taste’ Caveat Mitigates Trauma Of Snack’s New Look

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/same-great-taste-caveat-mitigates-trauma-of-snacks-new-look/

The Onion’s Top State Fair Foods

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/the-onions-top-state-fair-foods/

We Seem To Be At An Impasse Over What $24.99 Worth Of Shrimp Looks Like

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/we-seem-to-be-at-an-impasse-over-what-24-99-worth-of-shrimp-looks-like/

Ring Launches Streaming  Service

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/ring-launches-streaming-service/

New Evidence Suggests Dinosaurs Had Quinceañeras

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/new-evidence-suggests-dinosaurs-had-quinceaneras/

Is Taking A GLP-1 Worth It?

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/is-taking-a-glp-1-worth-it/

Bestselling Beach Reads

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/bestselling-beach-reads/

Matt Damon Defends Dunkin’ Product Placement In Nolan’s ‘Odyssey’

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/matt-damon-defends-dunkin-product-placement-in-nolans-odyssey/

USDA Fills Key Advisory Role With Prominent Chewing Skeptic

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/usda-fills-key-advisory-role-with-prominent-chewing-skeptic/

TJ Maxx Adds Meat

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/tj-maxx-adds-meat/

History Of Boy Bands

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/history-of-boy-bands/

Yak Hopes They Never Stop Making Grass

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/yak-hopes-they-never-stop-making-grass/

Study: Average Woman Prefers Partner Who Is Member Of ZZ Top

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/study-average-woman-prefers-partner-who-is-member-of-zz-top/

The World Would Be A Much Different Place If Hillary Clinton Had Won The 2016 Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/the-world-would-be-a-much-different-place-if-hillary-clinton-had-won-the-2016-nathans-hot-dog-eating-contest/

‘Take Us To Your Biggest Pedophile’ Demand Surprisingly Politically Informed Aliens

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/take-us-to-your-biggest-pedophile-demand-surprisingly-politically-informed-aliens/

Palantir Acquires Pentagon For $800 Billion

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/palantir-acquires-pentagon-for-800-billion/

Washington Wizards Announce Founding Wizard Dead At 682

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/washington-wizards-announce-founding-wizard-dead-at-682/

Supreme Court Upholds Temporal Gerrymander That Would Cost Democrats 1932 Election

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/supreme-court-upholds-temporal-gerrymander-that-would-cost-democrats-1932-election/

Only 11 Hours From The Beach

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/only-11-hours-from-the-beach/

Back Of Gatorade Bottle Features Recipe For Gatorade Casserole

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/back-of-gatorade-bottle-features-recipe-for-gatorade-casserole/

Olive Garden Unveils New ‘We Invented Spaghetti’ Slogan https://www.allforgardening.com/1815093/olive-garden-unveils-new-we-invented-spaghetti-slogan/ #food #FormerPrintExclusive #garden #gardener #gardening #Vol62:Issue10

EPA Approves Use Of Napalm As Pesticide

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/epa-approves-use-of-napalm-as-pesticide/

Depressed Shams Charania Breaks Scoop That He Has No One

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/depressed-shams-charania-breaks-scoop-that-he-has-no-one/

Olive Garden Unveils New ‘We Invented Spaghetti’ Slogan

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/olive-garden-unveils-new-we-invented-spaghetti-slogan/

I Work Very Hard, And I Would Like To Try Cake

http://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/i-work-very-hard-and-i-would-like-to-try-cake/

Doctors Warn Air Fryers Not A Substitute For Human Companionship

http://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/doctors-warn-air-fryers-not-a-substitute-for-human-companionship/

FDA Recalls 40,000 Gallons Of RFK Jr. Milk

http://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/fda-recalls-40000-gallons-of-rfk-jr-milk/

Slipknot Orders Trump To Stop Using Their Masks During Rallies

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/slipknot-orders-trump-to-stop-using-their-masks-during-rallies/

College Professor  Pretty Sure   Student Using    AI To Refuse Advances

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/college-professor-pretty-sure-student-using-ai-to-refuse-advances/