Introducing AWS Predictive Federation Crayon
Amazon Web Services today announced the general availability of AWS Predictive Federation Crayon, a fully managed, serverless, multi-tenant, hyper-distributed crayon prediction service that uses machine learning to determine which color crayon your enterprise will need before you know you need it.
"We kept hearing from customers that they were spending too much time deciding between Burnt Sienna and Raw Umber," said a Senior Principal Distinguished Engineer at Amazon, who has the word "Crayon" in his actual job title now. "Predictive Federation Crayon solves that, and also integrates with S3, Lambda, DynamoDB, SQS, SNS, SES, SWF, and seventeen other services you are already paying for but not using."
Predictive Federation Crayon is priced per crayon prediction, per federation event, per region, and also by the gram in certain edge cases that Amazon cannot currently explain but assures customers are "extremely rare unless they are not."
The service is available today in us-east-1, with support for additional regions coming "soon," which at AWS means sometime before 2031.
AWS Predictive Federation Crayon is not related to AWS Crayon, AWS Managed Crayon, Amazon Crayon Hub, or the four internal tools also named Crayon that different teams built independently over the last decade and refuse to consolidate.
#aws #AmazonWebServices #CloudComputing #cloud #parody #humor