In today's #TotallyUnsurprisingNews, #SBF from #FTX #crypto exchange has been found guilty by the jury on all counts.
Lelz, as if there was ever any doubt.
Bake him away, toyz. :dentonlol:
#totallyunsurprisingnews — Public Fediverse posts
Live and recent posts from across the Fediverse tagged #totallyunsurprisingnews, aggregated by home.social.
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In today's #TotallyUnsurprisingNews, #SBF of #FTX infamy, has developed severe amnesia during his trial, being unable to recall basic facts like who did which crimes, 140 times.
Hint: he did it all.
Tomorrow will be interesting.
https://www.innercitypress.com/sbftrial21sdnyclosingicp110123.html
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In today's #TotallyUnsurprisingNews, #Ethereum founder #VitalikButerin had his #Twitter account compromised, and a scam link posted.
Needless to say, many apes were lost as degens immediately approved this malicious #crypto smart contract.
I mean... just... don't do that kind of thing, from your main wallet, k? :ablobcatbongokeyboard:
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In today's #TotallyUnsurprisingNews, disgraced #Theodex CEO gets 11,000 year sentence for a $2 billy #crypto #CEX #scam.
... Only 11,000 years? :drake_like:
https://cointelegraph.com/news/turkish-crypto-exchange-thodex-ceo-11-000-year-prison-for-2-b-scam
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For today's #TotallyUnsurprisingNews, #AlexMashinsky, the disgraced former CEO of #Celsius #crypto infamy, has had his assets frozen. :blobcat_thisisfine:
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In today's #TotallyUnsurprisingNews, #RichardHeart, creator of #crypto #HEX, has just been sued today by the #SEC for securities fraud.
Nobody 👏 saw 👏 that 👏 coming 👏😹
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It's a hot news day, more #TotallyUnsurprisingNews: #Ripple #XRP is not a security.
(Well, okay, maybe that was a bit surprising.) :blobcatpinkphone:
https://blockworks.co/news/judge-rules-ripple-xrp-not-security
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In more #TotallyUnsurprisingNews, the #FTC has reached a settlement with #Celsius. It includes a ban on resuming #crypto operations, and a suspended judgement of $4.7b to allow it to return these assets to duped customers. :drake_like:
Unsurprisingly, its 3 founders were not present and the FTC will proceed with cases against them in federal court. :dumpsterfire:
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BREAKING: In today's #TotallyUnsurprisingNews, #Celsius Network's ex-CEO #AlexMashinsky has just been arrested!
Bloomberg: "The arrest took place Thursday morning, according to the person, who asked not to be identified because the criminal case isn’t public."
Oftentimes, karma works in cycles.
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In today's #TotallyUnsurprisingNews ... truth hurts. :dentonlol:
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JUST IN: For today's #TotallyUnsurprisingNews, #ElonMusk has now said unverified #Twitter users (i.e., non-paying users) will only be able to view 300-600 tweets per day. :blobcat_thisisfine:
Talk about shooting your ad revenue in the foot... Does this guy realise his platform runs on advertising revenue, based on people scrolling through Tweets? lel. :dumpster_fire_gif: :picardfacepalm:
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In today's #TotallyUnsurprisingNews, #Twitter has now disabled all public access. To see Tweets, one now has to log in to the platform.
Classy, as always! 👌 :dumpsterfire:
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In today's #TotallyUnsurprisingNews, #Coinbase has won in the Supreme Court 5-4 in favour of arbitration.
Note this is Coinbase v. Bielski, not the #SEC case.
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In today's #TotallyUnsurprisingNews, the #Ripple#XRP vs #SEC saga continues as the now-infamous #Hinman files are released, surprisingly, chock full of critical comments and questions from his own peers, which were then ignored.
Not looking great for the #SEC and #GaryGensler's current #crypto cases. :oof: :dentonlol:
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Today in #TotallyUnsurprisingNews, the #SEC Stabilization Act was filed by a #US Congressman, to restructure the SEC, and FIRE the Chairman #GaryGensler for his endless fucking about. #FAFO in full effect.
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Oh, and another piece of #TotallyUnsurprisingNews for today--#BoJo #BorisJohnson has stepped down today as a #UK Tory MP, over the #Partygate scandal.
By his own words, he's been "forced out". :drake_like:
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In today's #TotallyUnsurprisingNews, #KimJongUn, leader of #NorthKorea has banned killing yourself.
How is this going to be enforced--punishable by death...? :think_bread: :oh_no_bubble:
https://www.businessinsider.com/kim-jong-un-bans-suicide-after-numbers-skyrocketed-report-2023-6
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In today's #TotallyUnsurprisingNews, #SEC sues #Coinbase, for #crypto staking services.
#COIN dumped almost 20% in premarkets this morning as a result before recovering to 12% down on the day.
Ooooooofties! Somebody stop #GaryGensler! :drake_dislike:
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In today's #TotallyUnsurprisingNews, the #SEC has finally sued #Binance for a basket full of securities law violations.
Ooooft. #Crypto market dumping ensues. :oof:
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In today's #TotallyUnsurprisingNews, #Bittrex US is declaring #bankruptcy, due to the regulators cracking down and suing them. :oof:
Note that this is US operations only. Bittrex Global will continue to operate.
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In today's #TotallyUnsurprisingNews, #Polygon-based lending protocol #0vix has been flash loan attacked in a $2m hack, by manipulating the #Aavegotchi #vGHST (staked #GHST) prices and liquidating for #USDC & #USDT.
This is why small cap assets should never be co-mingled on borrow/lending platforms. :oof:
https://decrypt.co/138262/polygon-lending-protocol-0vix-pauses-protocol-exploit
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In today's #TotallyUnsurprisingNews, #StevenSeagal continues to be a legitimate martial artist extraordinare. 😹 🤡
Better get ready to surrender #Ukraine, before some old man pays people to fake getting tossed around like ragdolls. 🤸♂️ 🤸♀️ 🤸 🥋
https://www.marca.com/en/lifestyle/world-news/2023/03/20/6418a89422601de35f8b4593.html
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In today's #TotallyUnsurprisingNews, the #USA Commodity Futures Trading Commission has just filed a complaint against #Binance and #CZ for compliance breaches and failing to register with the #CFTC.
Boy, nobody saw that one coming... 📉 :blobcat_thisisfine:
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In today's #TotallyUnsurprisingNews, infamous fugitive #DoKwon has allegedly just been arrested in Montenegro after trying to fly with false documentation.
https://cointelegraph.com/news/do-kwon-reportedly-arrested-in-montenegro
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In today's #TotallyUnsurprisingNews, #Centrica boss & owner of #BritishGas receives an extra £1.4m #bonus on top of his £780K #salary and £2.3m annual share bonus--obviously for all his great contributions & hard work.
Nobody more deserving than the top brass of #energy companies, amirite? ⛽ :blobcat_thisisfine:
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In today's #TotallyUnsurprisingNews, famous shilling scum #RichardHeart is now scared he'll be called shilling scum by the #SEC and has started trying to remove further traces from his sites and socials of his #crypto shilling scumminess. :dumpsterfire: 🤡
https://crypto.news/richard-heart-seeks-distance-from-crypto-with-other-celebs-facing-legal-action/
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In today's #TotallyUnsurprisingNews, clouds are sometimes translucent. :oof:
#Security #Microsoft #Azure #Cloud #DOD #Exchange #NationalSecurity
https://www.theregister.com/2023/02/23/azure_dod_emails_exposed/
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For today's #TotallyUnsurprisingNews, if you order a bunch of #trains that are too big for your tunnels, you might lose your job.
:dumpsterfire: 🚂 :oof:
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In today's #TotallyUnsurprisingNews, instead of Putin, Meta, or train wrecks, it's #coffee. :blobcatcoffee2:
Coffee is good for you, in almost every way. So long as it's in reasonable quantities. ☕ ☕
:ablobcatcoffee:
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I've got one hour left in the day, to pick an item for #TotallyUnsurprisingNews, but there's so much totally unsurprising news today, that surprisingly, I'm stuck trying to decide... :dumpster_fire_gif: :think_bread:
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In today's #TotallyUnsurprisingNews, #Tesla #TSLA is recalling over 360,000 vehicles, as the self-driving software may cause crashes. :dumpster_fire_gif:
Crazy, it's almost like everyone who was saying it wasn't fit for purpose, was actually right. Who would've known? Oh, right--everybody except #ElonMusk. :drake_like: 🤡
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In today's #TotallyUnsurprisingNews, #ElonMusk explains why #Tesla #TSLA shares are tanking.
You may be surprised to know that it has absolutely nothing to do with him, no sir. :blobcatwaitwhat2:
Here I was, thinking that they were dumping because he was selling them, lying about not selling any more, then selling some more. And also for being a fucking dicksmack. What a fool I was. :drake_dislike:
https://www.cnbc.com/2022/12/20/elon-musk-tries-to-explain-why-tesla-shares-are-tanking.html
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In today's #TotallyUnsurprisingNews, the Head of #Apple's App Store, Phil Schiller, has deleted his #Twitter account over the weekend.
... After #ElonMusk whined about the Store's fee model.
We're not fans of app stores clawing fees, but that's probably not great news for Twitter. :dentonlol: :oof:
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In today's #TotallyUnsurprisingNews, as it turns out, we're all #foreigners and #aliens (to this planet).