#gender-dysphoria — Public Fediverse posts

Hey folks :TransHeart: :NonBinaryHeart:

This isn't any of the posts we've been trying to write for ages, but haven't had sufficient spoons, executive function, emotional regulation, or uninterrupted time (particularly from unexpected daily life events) to write 😅🥺 :MentalHealthFlagHeart:

No: instead, this is just something adjacent to some of these things, which has been increasingly on our mind recently... particularly as it feels like we've been seening significantly more posts by other trans+ people we follow on fedi, as well as other places, discussing topics like:

• Their overall worsening feelings of gender dysphoria, or feeling like they're making no progress towards their own transition goals.
• Increasingly yearning for a particular gender-affirming surgery, especially if it either is -- or feels like it is -- impossibly far away or actually impossible.

:PleadingFace: :Sighing_Face:

In light of our own issues with the NHS, we did get to the point where we did a post asking folks to remember to use CWs for such posts, as even with lots of filters, we couldn't keep up 🥺😔 (In a later post, we advised that we had changed our filters back from hide completely to hide with a warning, but we're still having to filter out a lot.)

Anyway, we're getting off track again. (Today has been another of those kinds of days.)

We've been thinking a lot recently about how it would almost be easier for us if we were a binary trans+ woman with stereotypical transition goals that align with the binary expectation of the NHS and other medical systems 😔

If we had had noticeable, intense genital dysphoria in the way that they expect all trans+ folks to have, then maybe we'd've been willing to compromise over surgeon and techniques in order to get some form of genital reconfiguration surgery (GRS), and we'd've been able to progress there.

However, because we don't feel that way, could not mask our real feelings, and would not be comfortable with the limited options offered, we're now stuck in a limbo where we may basically get nothing through the NHS whatsoever.

Just to clarify, we're acutely aware just how completely cursed this line of thinking is, and how much dysphoria -- especially around genitalia -- can be debilitating for many 🥺😔

It isn't a matter of anybody having it easier or worse: everybody should be able to get their healthcare needs met. However, unless you "play the game" and "play along", you won't get anything.

But yeah... this is the dumb situation we're in.

Our dysphoria doesn't match the NHS's binary model, so we're now just waiting to hear back about how we go about complaining about pretty much everything and trying to get somewhere.

We won't though, sadly. It'd take a secular miracle for somebody to actually show a single iota of care for us as an actual person / entity.

We feel bad for the complaint handler, as given the way she's replied, we think she actually still cares 🥺😔

That job will break her if she doesn't leave it.

We've already had our request for voice feminisation surgery (VFS) declined, and we haven't even tried to get them to hear us out over facial feminisation surgery (FFS), as they'd laugh us out the door.

If you want to know how cruel the NHS system is, just read part of the below in relation to the first rejected VFS individual funding request (IFR):

The following criteria were used when considering whether there were exceptional clinical circumstances relating to your patient to support the IFR: 

* Are there any clinical features of the patient’s case which make them significantly different to the general population of patients with the condition in question at the same stage of progression of the condition? 

AND 

* Would the patient be likely to gain significantly more clinical benefit from the requested intervention than might be normally expected for the general population of patients with the condition at the same stage of the progression of the condition?

Your application was triaged by the Funding Team, and it was agreed that the information provided to support this IFR does not demonstrate clinical exceptionality.

Regrettably, we cannot approve your funding request as there is no evidence to show this patient is likely to gain significantly more clinical benefit from Glottoplasty surgery than might be normally expected for the general population of patients with the condition or circumstance i.e. gender dysphoria and neurodiversity. Unfortunately, we are not able to take purely psychological issues into consideration. 

However, if there is any further information you have to demonstrate exceptionality, we would be happy to reconsider this request. 

Yeah...

#GenderDysphoria #GenitalDysphoria #GenitalReconfigurationSurgery #GRS #GenderAffirmingSurgery #GenderAffirmingSurgeries #trans #transgender #enby #NonBinary #queer
#LGBTQ+ #LGBTQIA+ #NHS #EOEGS #NCTH #FuckTheNHS #VFS #FFS #IFR

RE: https://cultofshiv.wtf/@SleepyCatten/115981136984537860

Further to our previous, quoted post, we've already taken certain actions to reduce the intense (and worsening) negative emotions we're experiencing over seeing other posts from other trans+ folks over things like:

• Their trans+ joy or euphoria.
• Making amazing process with voice training.
• Gender-affirming surgeries.
• Being able to get decent care and support.

... and so on.

So far, we've muted several sub-Reddits we're subscribed to, so that they don't appear on our Reddit feed.

We intend to do the same shortly here by adding filters to put a CW on posts with certain keywords or hashtags that have become triggering to us

We genuinely loathe that we have to do this, but we do not know how else to continue to engage here otherwise.

We used to feel so happy for others who were able to get the gender-affirming care that they needed, even if we knew it wouldn't be available to us.

Now, it seems like all we feel is a mixture of jealousy, intense sadness, and... we guess a little resentfulness and bitterness, which in-turn makes us feel even worse 😔

We don't feel envious, as we want others to be able to get the care that they need. We're specifically jealous because the care we need has been -- and still is actively being -- denied to us.

We're beyond exhausted of having to self-advocate and beg for scraps of basic gender-affirming healthcare.

And that's before we even bring in the struggles we've had trying to get any kind of suitable other support, particularly with mental health, or just with life in general.

We're sorry, because you all deserve to celebrate your joy and to want to share it with friends and people online.

You all deserve to discuss this stuff openly without fear of triggering somebody else.

You all deserve to get all the care and support that you need, and to not have to hide it away.

We just currently cannot participate in it, because it's breaking us apart even more every time we see, read, or hear somebody getting or achieving something we also intensely desire or need, but have little-to-no realistic chance of ever achieving.

Sorry 😔

#trans+ #transgender #GenderDysphoria #healthcare #HealthcareInequality #TransGenocide #FuckTheNHS #FuckTheNHS #transition #FML #MentalHealth #LackOfTransJoy #LGBTQ+ #LGBTQIA+ #queer

Edit: Fixed a typo