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The Theoretical Doctor @[email protected] · 2026-01-16 · 01:00 UTC

My Reflection Of 2025

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2025, was indeed a year.

The year started out great, I worked on New Year’s Day as usual in the Department of Medical and in April, I entered into my final posting, the Emergency and Trauma Department. In May, I attended my best friend’s wedding.

In July, I completed my internship and received my full registration under the Malaysian Medical Council (MMC) as well as my Annual Practicing Certificate (APC) and started locumming during my holidays back home and I also started floating as a Medical Officer in the Department of Plastic and Reconstructive Surgery. It was a steep learning curve for me, transitioning from a House Officer into a Medical Officer. The anxiety increased and I was constantly tired. I remembered my love for medicine and service fading to the point I took a long break in October to recharge and reflect.

2025 was also the year, I handed in my 30-days-notice to resign but revoke it the following day. Perhaps it was too much for me, although the working environment and superiors were more than sweet and kind. Physically, I was catching up but mentally, I was fading away.

Looking back, thankfully, I did not. I celebrated my birthday before travelling back to Kuching the following day. 2025 was also the year when my relationship ended. It was a good and lovely 19 months. Perhaps, it was just time.

November was the month I received my letter stating that I will receive my placement and I needed to report for duty on the 24th of November 2025. One thing for sure, I was sure to continue serving in Sarawak. The place? Unknown yet.

On the 18th of November, I found out that I would need to report to the Health Division of Bintulu on the 24th of November 2025.

Bintulu, that’s around 7 hours drive from Kuching. I didn’t have a place to stay nor a car and my things were all unpacked and I was just extremely busy. I packed whatever I could, shipped some boxes back home, those that I managed to do and on the 23rd of November, I flew to Bintulu.

Thankfully, the doctor-in-charge of the Health Division was kind enough to let me know which place or clinic that I would be placed at.

Yes, clinic setting. I did not apply for a clinic setting which so happened to be what many others in my batch longed for. Surprisingly, I got it!

Considering the state of my mental health, I was more than ecstatic to accept it.

2025 was also the year I moved and started working in a new place and also one that speaks a different dialect. I started doing oncalls as well and surprisingly, adapted very quickly into a General Practitioner’s setting as well as the new place. I also met another colleague who was previously my medical officer in the Department of Obstetrics & Gynaecology when I was a House Officer and made new friends and acquaintances.

Overall, 2025 was a mixed of both good and bad experiences. I felt both the highs and also went through a period of low mood. New people entered my life, some stayed and some also left. Nevertheless, I am thankful for all the experiences I went through as well as the lessons learnt.

Hopefully, I can learn from the errors that I have made and grow, making me into a better person.

Thank you 2025. Now, it’s time to move on, to 2026.

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The Theoretical Doctor @[email protected] · 2026-01-14 · 01:00 UTC

12 Hours Shift – Counting Down My Hours Each Time At Work

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How do you waste the most time every day?

At the time of writing this article, which was back in June 2025, I was going through my 6th Rotation of my Housemanship which is in the Department of Emergency and Trauma. As a House Officer in the Emergency Department, we go by the 12-hours shift.

This meant, our shift is from:

AM Shift: 7am till 7pm
PM Shift: 10am till 10pm
Night Shift: 10pm till 10am

In this department, they are strict in regards to adhering to a minimum of 60 hours per week in total. Thus, in a week, our schedule is as follows;

A total of at least 4 daytime shifts (AM or PM Shifts)
One night shift
One off day

That is provided one has off-tagged of course.

Perhaps, it is the “last paper syndrome” that I was experiencing being in the 6th and final rotation, I would be counting down my hours each day at work. Thus, upon arrival at work, I would start my “12-hours countdown“ on my phone.

On slow days, I made it a point to go to toilet every hour, technically my so-called “hourly break” whereas on busy days, the toilet break is the only time I could take a break. This is followed by ensuring I have at least one meal per day during my shift.

Otherwise, the schedule in the emergency department is relatively better as compared to my previous rotations. Nevertheless, the tiredness is still there.

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The Theoretical Doctor @[email protected] · 2026-01-06 · 01:00 UTC

My First Day Of Locum And As A Medical Officer

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A locum or locum tenens, is a person who temporarily fulfils the duties of another; the term is especially used for physicians or clergy.
– Wikipedia.

The first time I ever tasted or ventured into locum or a so-called “part-time doctor” was on the 3rd of August 2025.

At that time, I was back in my hometown and on a 3-weeks-break post housemanship / internship at a small private clinic, yet to officially begin as a Medical Officer.

While I was in medical school, I would occasionally hear this term “locum” from my fellow seniors or batch mates, lecturers, parents or even friends of my parents. However, in order to locum, one would need to be fully registered with the Malaysian Medical Council (MMC) and possess a valid Annual Practicing Certificate (APC). In short, I had to graduate medical school, finish my internship or housemanship first, then only am I able to dive into this.

Thus, upon acquiring my full MMC and APC licence, I was looking forward to locum. Looking forward to it as well as nervous to dive into this. Thankfully, I had just completed my final rotation in the Emergency and Trauma Department.

In the Emergency and Trauma Department, there are various zones in which the patients would be triaged into in terms of presenting complaints, severity and their vital signs. The least critical in severity would be triaged into Green zone. The Green zone is similar to a clinic setting, thus, it gave me some idea on the type of cases I would be expecting.

My first locum was just 3 hours long, from 7pm till 10pm. I figured that since I am just starting at that time, it would be better to start with minimal hours in order to get used to it and also.. if I would enjoy it.

The clinic was quaint and small but equipped with basic necessities and a scan machine. The only thing that it did not have, was an x-ray facility. The moment I sat down, the patients kept coming back-to-back. As soon as I was done with one, another came.

For a first-timer, I felt it was equivalent to the Green Zone in General Hospital whereby the cases were always there but the patient load was manageable.

However, I was extremely scared.

Mainly afraid that I might accidentally jeopardise the patient’s safety in terms of mismanagement. Thankfully, by 9:30 pm, the clinic assistant stopped accepting new patients and prepared to close the clinic.

For a first experience, it was a good one despite it being rather terrifying for me.

But, we all have to start somewhere and build our confidence, don’t we?

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The Theoretical Doctor @[email protected] · 2024-09-26 · 03:07 UTC

Controlling My Food Choices and Portion

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Daily writing prompt What details of your life could you pay more attention to? View all responses

I’ve always been a foodie.

I enjoy my going on food trips with my family or friends. If I’m bored or sleepy, I would look for a snack, which again is well, food.

Thus, over the years, the weight started piling up and towards the end of primary school, I noticed that my weight posed an issue. As a child, I was overweight.

I recalled visiting the doctor once when I was in primary school coz I was unwell and he made me stand on the weighing scale and perhaps he did say more but at a young age, all I remembered was him yelling “Your child is FAT. FAT. FAT. FAT. F-A-T, FAT!”, all throughout my checkup and as I was leaving his office with my mom.

It felt like as if I had committed a felony. When in reality, he was trying to point out on how unhealthy it is for me, somehow in a rather direct way.

Over the years, I’ve struggled with my weight. It was never constant and always up and down. I’ve tried various diets which didn’t stuck long.

The only time I properly lost weight was when I started my housemanship journey. Amidst me eating at the wrong time, somehow the weight just magically went off. Firstly, perhaps I was too occupied with work to eat properly, hence, unknowingly I tend to practice intermittent fasting almost everyday and secondly, my movements have increased dramatically. Walking above 15k steps per day was a norm.

However, as I progressed throughout my postings, I learnt how to fit eating back into my busy schedule and the weight started piling back slowly.

I brought the matter up to a dear friend and she mentioned that perhaps, I could try controlling my food portion. I reflected and realised that all these while, I’ve been consuming food in the usual portion which didn’t had an effect on me previously as I was constantly on the move.

Thus, if there is something I seriously need to pay more attention to, it would be my food choices as well as the portion. Food is extremely delicious and good. Sadly, I would say that I fall into the category of “Live to Eat” rather than “Eat to Live”.

Hence, it’s time for me to take charge and make a change towards my food choices and start my journey towards a healthier life.

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𐕣 C M D R ░ NOVA 𐕣 @[email protected] · 2024-05-18 · 23:48 UTC

How do you balance work and home life?

Today’s writing prompt is all about that work/life balance, and I feel like this is definitely something I can talk about, because it’s something I’ve struggled with for years (and, you know, I have a job!). I’m not entirely talking about the past half decade before I re-entered the workforce, but I’ve generally been working since I graduated from high school. I started out in restaurants working as a dishwasher, a line-cook, and so on and so forth, and I didn’t really have a lot of trouble maintaining my sense of self, and the life that I had outside those walls.

But something changed.

Sometime at the age of thirty-six, my identity as a person started to shift, and started feeling like it’s been bungled around. I started to feel like I’m not really a person with goals and things that I enjoy outside the job. I started seeking out new interests, new hobbies, looking for anything to fill in this void where I felt my sense of self should be.

This continued for a long period of time. My life became working, and laying on the couch at home waiting until it was time to get back to working. This became habitual for well over a year, and my sense of identity continued to gradually slip away (I have considered that my issues and turmoil over transition may be part of this).

I stayed that way for so long, that eventually I began to feel trapped, hopeless, like nothing mattered, and that there was no point in continuing to be, if all I am is a worker who sleeps, and then clocks back in.

But, instead of seeking out harm, something inside my mind switched around six months ago. Yes, six months ago to this date.

I started focusing less on when it was time to clock back in, when it was time to get ready, when it was time to sleep, and just started focusing more on what’s happening in each moment. I made myself, no, forced myself to be present in what I’m doing in the now, rather than what I’d be doing once I return to the job that, for all intents and purposes, is not something I wholeheartedly enjoy. Who actually really enjoys their job, unless they’re a millionaire who can vacation six times a week?

But, if you want to talk things I enjoy, you need only look to my writing, my music, and the things I make in virtual worlds.

I’m still working on rediscovering who I am, and maintaining my sense of self. But this is why having a healthy work and life balance is extremely important. It’s not just about leaving yourself time to take care of home-chores. It’s not just about leaving time for other people to be part of your life. It’s also about giving yourself time … to exist. To be a person, with wants, and needs, and interests, that have nothing to do with what the corporation you work for wants or desires.

You need this, because if you don’t give yourself these things, you will end up where I was. Stuck in a void of thought, in a rut, spiraling out of control without even knowing it.

You have to be present. I’m not talking about putting the phone down and staring at the wall (although meditation is definitely also good for you). Use your phone if you want! Post on social media! But be who you are, in those moments, and don’t tumble so easily into the work you do for a living, becoming the only identity you have. I don’t want to say, “It will become deadly.” But I went so far to a place that I didn’t want to be, that my mind became numb.

Focus on maintaining this balance today. Don’t tell yourself you’ll start tomorrow, or next week. Start right now.

Speaking of work and life, you should subscribe to this website. In these times of ever-increasing prices, and stagnant pay, it would mean the world.

https://cmdr-nova.online/2024/05/18/prompt-work-life/

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Inside the Red Head's Head @[email protected] · 2024-05-18 · 11:44 UTC

Daily writing prompt How do you balance work and home life? View all responses

I often find myself thinking in song titles. Sometimes it is movies or TV quotes, but often it’s song titles. It just happened to me as I read today’s prompt. King Crimson has an improvised instrumental track on the Starless and Bible Black record called “We’ll Let You Know.”*

When we figure out how to balance work and home life, we’ll let you know. When I am at work I am working. When I am at home I am not working. Does that make sense? That’s how it should be, shouldn’t it? Why is it so hard to do? Why is so much at home time spent thinking about work and so much at work time spent thinking about home? What’s the deal there, Robert?

It’s a problem, but it’s more of an existential problem as one rarely gets in the way of the other when something important comes up. In priority situations I am able to keep the two separated. It’s the quiet, non-priority moments that the mind wanders across the divide.

So like I said, if I figure it out… I’ll let you know.

*Just noting that both the guitarist and the drummer on this song had birthdays this week.

The song is an instrumental so there are no lyrics to tie into this discussion. Also, it was improvised on stage so they probably only ever played it once. There’s a moment in this when the bass and the drums lock together in one of the sickest grooves ever.

https://robertjames1971.blog/2024/05/18/well-let-you-know/

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