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Lost Monster Files – Carolina Chupacabra review
The Discovery Channel’s new series “Lost Monster Files” (LMF) is promoted as a cryptozoology program that uses a team of experts that consult the archives of “founder of cryptozoology”, Ivan T. Sanderson, in their investigations of modern claims of unclassified animals. The first episode, titled Carolina Chupacabra, aired on 9 October 2024. Here is my review about the content and conclusions.
Not a promising start
There is not a lot of reliable background information on this show on the web. There was a press release and that’s about it. The episodes listed in various places are jumbled and they are not yet airing on the usual streaming services (that is, it’s not on Discovery +). Here is the official blurb for the first episode:
In the premiere episode, the group investigates a series of strange livestock mutilations in the Smoky Mountains that locals fear could be tied to the infamous Chupacabra, which has terrorized the Southwest for decades. Using journals and evidence from Sanderson’s archive, the team investigates a rash of deadly encounters in North Carolina to try and document this killer canine…and the possibility that the creature could be migrating east.
Interestingly, I also found this alternate wording on another TV listing site that was more or less the same except for this part:
…the team attempts to uncover the identity of this killer canine and whether or not it could be part of a secret government testing program.
Right from the start, with the intro (“A horrifying, blood-sucking beast is terrorizing Appalachia…”), and the hint of conspiracy mongering from what might have been an earlier draft blurb, we’re in outlandish BS paranormal territory. The episode ends up NOT going there, at least, but I can’t help wonder if that was an editing decision. Before we get to the content, let’s check out the show’s “experts.”
A Team of “Experts”
From the press release:
The team includes field scientist and tech expert Charlie Mewshaw, cryptozoologist Brittany Barbieri, predator experts and wildlife trackers Troy Lillie and Justin Igualada, and former CIA officer and FBI agent Tracy Walder. Following evidence and theories buried away for decades and chasing up-to-the-minute encounters, they aim to bring fact to fiction by documenting one of these legendary creatures for the first time.
In the intro, we also are told that all of these people are “experts”. Obviously, we are meant to find them credible and experienced in investigating mystery animal claims. Mewshaw says he has several degrees,
- Barbieri is listed as a “cryptozoologist”, and the others are touted for their experience and knowledge. My idea of experts must be different than the producers as none are zoologists or biologists. Barbieri, is known as a paranormal researcher who has interest in UFOlogy. She has given herself the title of cryptozoologist like many others in that field. But her IMDB bio states Actress, Writer and Producer.
- Charlie Mewshaw is an author, podcaster, and artist (and now “program host”) who cites his “natural resource science” background. It’s unclear what that means but it that is not “biology” or “zoology”.
- Troy Lillie is Brittany’s brother. His job, according to Facebook, is Co-Owner of Crocstar clothing and produces crocodile-related conservation media content.
- Justin Igualada is a wildlife handler and alligator wrestler.
- I don’t doubt that CIA/FBI person Tracy Walder was what she said but it doesn’t actually have any value to a show about mysterious animals unless they are going to focus on eyewitness accounts (which seems like the way it’s going to go) or government secrets (which also might be the direction they are headed).
So, from my point of view, this is a team of people who call themselves experts but they haven’t done much, if any, scientific research, published papers, and undergone peer review for their work. Discovery producers can call them “experts” and won’t get in trouble for it. I’ll drop in here a reminder that Sanderson himself had a degree in Zoology. Calling oneself an “expert” is usual for paranormal content, so this flummery is almost expected.
If I’m wrong about any of these assertions, feel free to let me know. The reason I’m irked by this use of “expert” in a presumably zoological show is because, if you are going to do animal investigations regarding interpretation, conclusions, etc., that is framed as scientific, you had better have some legit cred and know how science actually works. None of these people have that, though it will not be obvious to the casual viewer. This is a Monster Quest-style show where people are pretending to do science and look very serious-minded, but their conclusions mean little because the results are contrived without peer review and critique. Scientific discoveries aren’t legitimized via TV show.
Oh dear, I’ve shown all my cards already. But it’s no surprise that I deeply despise this ‘I play a scientist/researcher on TV’ gambit. It is how many nonfiction mystery docu-shows are formatted, which is, unfortunately, promoting misinformation to the audience. My choice would have actual scientists talking about this stuff, but, I’d bet they are busy creating actual knowledge.
At least LMF does not appear to be manufactured fiction like previous Discovery Network shows. And, it is possible that the content could be informative. Plus, we all know that Monster Quest was useful in getting people interested in animals. Some of those people undoubtedly realized that the MQ content was not altogether reliable; that it was solely entertainment, not scholarship.
Episode 1: A tale of two chupacabras
I’ll hit the few points that stuck out to me in this episode.
Sanderson is emphasized as “the” founder of cryptozoology.
I’m going to assume that the people reading this have some background in the history of cryptozoology. The program uses Ivan T. Sanderson’s ideas as a foundation, and maybe nothing more than a plot device. I’m a bit concerned about that. Sanderson was problematic but I enjoy his writing without taking it too seriously. The narration tells us Sanderson was “the” founder of cryptozoology. The press release says “a” founder of cryptozoology, which is more correct. There is no mention of Bernard Heuvelmans (“father of cryptozoology”) so far, but they do head to Minnesota…
Where is the archive from?
The archive of recordings, papers, binders, casts and animal remains are said to have been “lost” for 50 years and that this team got access to it in Kalamazoo, Michigan. I don’t know the background for this. Sanderson’s paper are known to be in the archives of the American Philosophical Society in Philadelphia. I do not know the difference between the collections. Could this content be some of the material taken from his Society for the Investigation of the Unexplained (SITU) headquarters in New Jersey? It was known that after his death people made off with stuff from the headquarters. The origin story of the archives is not addressed in the first episode.
Hybrid canids and the chupacabra
For this episode, the link to Sanderson, who wrote back in the 1950s and 60s, is that he considered that hybrid wolf-like canids could account for mystery animals in the US. This is the show’s jumping off point to discuss livestock deaths by mystery canids in both North Carolina and Texas. Brittany, Troy and Justin visit farmers in Appalachian North Carolina who report seeing a large canid and experiencing livestock deaths. Notably, the creature is said to be bigger than a coyote with some reporting “glowing green eyes”.
Meanwhile, Charlie and Tracy pay a visit to Phyllis Canion, owner of the iconic “chupacabra” that was killed and taxidermied in Cuero, Texas. Canion’s DNA test showed that the strange animal was a coyote with a mix of Mexican red wolf. However, it is notable that the “wolf” portion could have been introduced generations ago, according to information from UC Davis. In LMF, however, the DNA result is said to include a “unknown” portion as well. Much is made of this “mystery” as I will circle back to in a bit.
Phyllis Canion with the mounted version of the hairless animal killed near her Cuero, Texas ranch.In North Carolina, a stake out by the crew with a live goat as bait resulted in a brief glimpse on infrared video of a canid shape racing through the area. Almost unbelievably, the animal ran into a pole they placed in the ground to act as a hair trap, dislodging it. It left not hair, but skin. The skin sample was sent for DNA testing and the result was said to be exactly the same as Canion’s result, leading to the team to conclude that it’s the same species of animal.
Blood-sucking beast
The history of the cryptid called a “chupacabra” is socially complex and rather confusing. If you know, you know. Throughout the episode, the cast states that it would be awesome to finally get proof of whatever the “chupacabra” is. However, not only is Canion’s animal referred to as a “chupacabra” (so we already know that, in this four-legged chupa-form, it’s a coyote), but the legend of other sightings are assumed to be factual, as if this is all one-in-the-same “new” species of animal that “drains the blood” of livestock. At no point is there ever mention of the fact that canids do not and cannot “suck” blood. Dead animals don’t bleed because blood quickly coagulates. If the carcass is “mutilated” by scavengers after it is deceased, there will not be blood everywhere. The cast appears to be egregiously ignorant of how biology works. Or the whole vampire angle is emphasized for creepy effect.
Ridiculous conclusion
A trendy idea by non-scientists in the fantastical cryptid scene is that dire wolves are still living out there. There is zero scientific evidence for this, not even a hint that they exist, with the youngest remains dated at about 10,000 years ago. LMF suggests that the “unknown” portion of the two DNA results could represent dire wolf, vindicating Sanderson’s hybrid idea. However, we do have DNA from extinct dire wolfs and it shows they diverged from other wolf lines nearly 6 million years ago. The animals in question are not part dire wolf. The real conclusion, no matter if you believe or not, is that these animals are weird looking coyotes. Wolf-like canids readily hybridize. The DNA mix appears to not be unusual as it is common for southern coyotes to have red wolf DNA, but, here, the gaps are exploited as “mysterious” for dramatic effect (and as misinformation).
Barbieri and Mewshaw casually decide, on the basis of dubious reports and DNA conjecture, that both animals belong to a new species that they call “Lykos sphinx” – and inappropriate and nonsensical name. Zoological names must be based on specimens, and be published, not a hot take from a TV show. This is undoubtedly the stupidest part of the show, even outdoing the gross sibling jibes (which are sort of realistic and funny) and gratuitous sexist reference about Brittany asking to talk to other witnesses.
I’m not buying much of the “evidence” in this presentation. The premise of a blood sucking, green eyed, ravenous beast is supported. Coyotes, and many other things, kill livestock and there are several explanations for why a body remained uneaten. I’m not even convinced by the bite marks on the dead pig shown. Too many questions remain unanswered and the anecdotes are also unconvincing. LMF appears to be another in a very long parade of samey pseudoscience paranormal shows. The scientifical cast appears to want to use the gimmick that Sanderson was prescient in thinking about cryptids decades ago. I feel this is reaching, and it doesn’t land well. I will watch a few more episodes to see.
Real mystery animal out there?
I don’t want to end on that note – there is something interesting to me going on with animals like the one Phyllis Canion found and I would like to know more from actual experts. The Cuero specimen has some unique characteristics, and I wonder if more than one animal like this has been documented. In a way, these pseudo-chupacabra animals are cryptids in that the legend is growing and outpacing the ability of scientific information to reach the public.
Sometimes called “Texas blue dogs” for their hairless, blue-skinned appearance, some show hairlessness beyond typical patterns of sarcoptic mange, and have unusual jaws, eye color, leg length, etc. I cannot find that there was ever a published article on these specimens, if they fall within the range of morphology for coyotes, and if this ties into the claims about these hybrid animals as a population or an anomaly. It would make an actual good show to hear more about this and see what’s real and what has been exaggerated.
For more info on the history of the chupacabra, check out Benjamin Radford’s Tracking the Chupacabra (2011)
More: Episode 2, ABSM and the origin of the files and Episode 3, Pennsylvania Thunderbird
#chupacabra #coyote #cryptid #Cryptozoology #direWolf #DNA #IvanSanderson #LostMonsterFiles #MonsterQuest #paranormalTV #PhyllisCanion #ReviewOfLostMonsterFiles #science #sciencey #Scientifical #TexasBlueDogs #TVShow
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Lost Monster Files – Carolina Chupacabra review
The Discovery Channel’s new series “Lost Monster Files” (LMF) is promoted as a cryptozoology program that uses a team of experts that consult the archives of “founder of cryptozoology”, Ivan T. Sanderson, in their investigations of modern claims of unclassified animals. The first episode, titled Carolina Chupacabra, aired on 9 October 2024. Here is my review about the content and conclusions.
Not a promising start
There is not a lot of reliable background information on this show on the web. There was a press release and that’s about it. The episodes listed in various places are jumbled and they are not yet airing on the usual streaming services (that is, it’s not on Discovery +). Here is the official blurb for the first episode:
In the premiere episode, the group investigates a series of strange livestock mutilations in the Smoky Mountains that locals fear could be tied to the infamous Chupacabra, which has terrorized the Southwest for decades. Using journals and evidence from Sanderson’s archive, the team investigates a rash of deadly encounters in North Carolina to try and document this killer canine…and the possibility that the creature could be migrating east.
Interestingly, I also found this alternate wording on another TV listing site that was more or less the same except for this part:
…the team attempts to uncover the identity of this killer canine and whether or not it could be part of a secret government testing program.
Right from the start, with the intro (“A horrifying, blood-sucking beast is terrorizing Appalachia…”), and the hint of conspiracy mongering from what might have been an earlier draft blurb, we’re in outlandish BS paranormal territory. The episode ends up NOT going there, at least, but I can’t help wonder if that was an editing decision. Before we get to the content, let’s check out the show’s “experts.”
A Team of “Experts”
From the press release:
The team includes field scientist and tech expert Charlie Mewshaw, cryptozoologist Brittany Barbieri, predator experts and wildlife trackers Troy Lillie and Justin Igualada, and former CIA officer and FBI agent Tracy Walder. Following evidence and theories buried away for decades and chasing up-to-the-minute encounters, they aim to bring fact to fiction by documenting one of these legendary creatures for the first time.
In the intro, we also are told that all of these people are “experts”. Obviously, we are meant to find them credible and experienced in investigating mystery animal claims. Mewshaw says he has several degrees,
- Barbieri is listed as a “cryptozoologist”, and the others are touted for their experience and knowledge. My idea of experts must be different than the producers as none are zoologists or biologists. Barbieri, is known as a paranormal researcher who has interest in UFOlogy. She has given herself the title of cryptozoologist like many others in that field. But her IMDB bio states Actress, Writer and Producer.
- Charlie Mewshaw is an author, podcaster, and artist (and now “program host”) who cites his “natural resource science” background. It’s unclear what that means but it that is not “biology” or “zoology”.
- Troy Lillie is Brittany’s brother. His job, according to Facebook, is Co-Owner of Crocstar clothing and produces crocodile-related conservation media content.
- Justin Igualada is a wildlife handler and alligator wrestler.
- I don’t doubt that CIA/FBI person Tracy Walder was what she said but it doesn’t actually have any value to a show about mysterious animals unless they are going to focus on eyewitness accounts (which seems like the way it’s going to go) or government secrets (which also might be the direction they are headed).
So, from my point of view, this is a team of people who call themselves experts but they haven’t done much, if any, scientific research, published papers, and undergone peer review for their work. Discovery producers can call them “experts” and won’t get in trouble for it. I’ll drop in here a reminder that Sanderson himself had a degree in Zoology. Calling oneself an “expert” is usual for paranormal content, so this flummery is almost expected.
If I’m wrong about any of these assertions, feel free to let me know. The reason I’m irked by this use of “expert” in a presumably zoological show is because, if you are going to do animal investigations regarding interpretation, conclusions, etc., that is framed as scientific, you had better have some legit cred and know how science actually works. None of these people have that, though it will not be obvious to the casual viewer. This is a Monster Quest-style show where people are pretending to do science and look very serious-minded, but their conclusions mean little because the results are contrived without peer review and critique. Scientific discoveries aren’t legitimized via TV show.
Oh dear, I’ve shown all my cards already. But it’s no surprise that I deeply despise this ‘I play a scientist/researcher on TV’ gambit. It is how many nonfiction mystery docu-shows are formatted, which is, unfortunately, promoting misinformation to the audience. My choice would have actual scientists talking about this stuff, but, I’d bet they are busy creating actual knowledge.
At least LMF does not appear to be manufactured fiction like previous Discovery Network shows. And, it is possible that the content could be informative. Plus, we all know that Monster Quest was useful in getting people interested in animals. Some of those people undoubtedly realized that the MQ content was not altogether reliable; that it was solely entertainment, not scholarship.
Episode 1: A tale of two chupacabras
I’ll hit the few points that stuck out to me in this episode.
Sanderson is emphasized as “the” founder of cryptozoology.
I’m going to assume that the people reading this have some background in the history of cryptozoology. The program uses Ivan T. Sanderson’s ideas as a foundation, and maybe nothing more than a plot device. I’m a bit concerned about that. Sanderson was problematic but I enjoy his writing without taking it too seriously. The narration tells us Sanderson was “the” founder of cryptozoology. The press release says “a” founder of cryptozoology, which is more correct. There is no mention of Bernard Heuvelmans (“father of cryptozoology”) so far, but they do head to Minnesota…
Where is the archive from?
The archive of recordings, papers, binders, casts and animal remains are said to have been “lost” for 50 years and that this team got access to it in Kalamazoo, Michigan. I don’t know the background for this. Sanderson’s paper are known to be in the archives of the American Philosophical Society in Philadelphia. I do not know the difference between the collections. Could this content be some of the material taken from his Society for the Investigation of the Unexplained (SITU) headquarters in New Jersey? It was known that after his death people made off with stuff from the headquarters. The origin story of the archives is not addressed in the first episode.
Hybrid canids and the chupacabra
For this episode, the link to Sanderson, who wrote back in the 1950s and 60s, is that he considered that hybrid wolf-like canids could account for mystery animals in the US. This is the show’s jumping off point to discuss livestock deaths by mystery canids in both North Carolina and Texas. Brittany, Troy and Justin visit farmers in Appalachian North Carolina who report seeing a large canid and experiencing livestock deaths. Notably, the creature is said to be bigger than a coyote with some reporting “glowing green eyes”.
Meanwhile, Charlie and Tracy pay a visit to Phyllis Canion, owner of the iconic “chupacabra” that was killed and taxidermied in Cuero, Texas. Canion’s DNA test showed that the strange animal was a coyote with a mix of Mexican red wolf. However, it is notable that the “wolf” portion could have been introduced generations ago, according to information from UC Davis. In LMF, however, the DNA result is said to include a “unknown” portion as well. Much is made of this “mystery” as I will circle back to in a bit.
Phyllis Canion with the mounted version of the hairless animal killed near her Cuero, Texas ranch.In North Carolina, a stake out by the crew with a live goat as bait resulted in a brief glimpse on infrared video of a canid shape racing through the area. Almost unbelievably, the animal ran into a pole they placed in the ground to act as a hair trap, dislodging it. It left not hair, but skin. The skin sample was sent for DNA testing and the result was said to be exactly the same as Canion’s result, leading to the team to conclude that it’s the same species of animal.
Blood-sucking beast
The history of the cryptid called a “chupacabra” is socially complex and rather confusing. If you know, you know. Throughout the episode, the cast states that it would be awesome to finally get proof of whatever the “chupacabra” is. However, not only is Canion’s animal referred to as a “chupacabra” (so we already know that, in this four-legged chupa-form, it’s a coyote), but the legend of other sightings are assumed to be factual, as if this is all one-in-the-same “new” species of animal that “drains the blood” of livestock. At no point is there ever mention of the fact that canids do not and cannot “suck” blood. Dead animals don’t bleed because blood quickly coagulates. If the carcass is “mutilated” by scavengers after it is deceased, there will not be blood everywhere. The cast appears to be egregiously ignorant of how biology works. Or the whole vampire angle is emphasized for creepy effect.
Ridiculous conclusion
A trendy idea by non-scientists in the fantastical cryptid scene is that dire wolves are still living out there. There is zero scientific evidence for this, not even a hint that they exist, with the youngest remains dated at about 10,000 years ago. LMF suggests that the “unknown” portion of the two DNA results could represent dire wolf, vindicating Sanderson’s hybrid idea. However, we do have DNA from extinct dire wolfs and it shows they diverged from other wolf lines nearly 6 million years ago. The animals in question are not part dire wolf. The real conclusion, no matter if you believe or not, is that these animals are weird looking coyotes. Wolf-like canids readily hybridize. The DNA mix appears to not be unusual as it is common for southern coyotes to have red wolf DNA, but, here, the gaps are exploited as “mysterious” for dramatic effect (and as misinformation).
Barbieri and Mewshaw casually decide, on the basis of dubious reports and DNA conjecture, that both animals belong to a new species that they call “Lykos sphinx” – and inappropriate and nonsensical name. Zoological names must be based on specimens, and be published, not a hot take from a TV show. This is undoubtedly the stupidest part of the show, even outdoing the gross sibling jibes (which are sort of realistic and funny) and gratuitous sexist reference about Brittany asking to talk to other witnesses.
I’m not buying much of the “evidence” in this presentation. The premise of a blood sucking, green eyed, ravenous beast is supported. Coyotes, and many other things, kill livestock and there are several explanations for why a body remained uneaten. I’m not even convinced by the bite marks on the dead pig shown. Too many questions remain unanswered and the anecdotes are also unconvincing. LMF appears to be another in a very long parade of samey pseudoscience paranormal shows. The scientifical cast appears to want to use the gimmick that Sanderson was prescient in thinking about cryptids decades ago. I feel this is reaching, and it doesn’t land well. I will watch a few more episodes to see.
Real mystery animal out there?
I don’t want to end on that note – there is something interesting to me going on with animals like the one Phyllis Canion found and I would like to know more from actual experts. The Cuero specimen has some unique characteristics, and I wonder if more than one animal like this has been documented. In a way, these pseudo-chupacabra animals are cryptids in that the legend is growing and outpacing the ability of scientific information to reach the public.
Sometimes called “Texas blue dogs” for their hairless, blue-skinned appearance, some show hairlessness beyond typical patterns of sarcoptic mange, and have unusual jaws, eye color, leg length, etc. I cannot find that there was ever a published article on these specimens, if they fall within the range of morphology for coyotes, and if this ties into the claims about these hybrid animals as a population or an anomaly. It would make an actual good show to hear more about this and see what’s real and what has been exaggerated.
For more info on the history of the chupacabra, check out Benjamin Radford’s Tracking the Chupacabra (2011)
More: Episode 2, ABSM and the origin of the files and Episode 3, Pennsylvania Thunderbird
#chupacabra #coyote #cryptid #Cryptozoology #direWolf #DNA #IvanSanderson #LostMonsterFiles #MonsterQuest #paranormalTV #PhyllisCanion #ReviewOfLostMonsterFiles #science #sciencey #Scientifical #TexasBlueDogs #TVShow
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Lost Monster Files – Carolina Chupacabra review
The Discovery Channel’s new series “Lost Monster Files” (LMF) is promoted as a cryptozoology program that uses a team of experts that consult the archives of “founder of cryptozoology”, Ivan T. Sanderson, in their investigations of modern claims of unclassified animals. The first episode, titled Carolina Chupacabra, aired on 9 October 2024. Here is my review about the content and conclusions.
Not a promising start
There is not a lot of reliable background information on this show on the web. There was a press release and that’s about it. The episodes listed in various places are jumbled and they are not yet airing on the usual streaming services (that is, it’s not on Discovery +). Here is the official blurb for the first episode:
In the premiere episode, the group investigates a series of strange livestock mutilations in the Smoky Mountains that locals fear could be tied to the infamous Chupacabra, which has terrorized the Southwest for decades. Using journals and evidence from Sanderson’s archive, the team investigates a rash of deadly encounters in North Carolina to try and document this killer canine…and the possibility that the creature could be migrating east.
Interestingly, I also found this alternate wording on another TV listing site that was more or less the same except for this part:
…the team attempts to uncover the identity of this killer canine and whether or not it could be part of a secret government testing program.
Right from the start, with the intro (“A horrifying, blood-sucking beast is terrorizing Appalachia…”), and the hint of conspiracy mongering from what might have been an earlier draft blurb, we’re in outlandish BS paranormal territory. The episode ends up NOT going there, at least, but I can’t help wonder if that was an editing decision. Before we get to the content, let’s check out the show’s “experts.”
A Team of “Experts”
From the press release:
The team includes field scientist and tech expert Charlie Mewshaw, cryptozoologist Brittany Barbieri, predator experts and wildlife trackers Troy Lillie and Justin Igualada, and former CIA officer and FBI agent Tracy Walder. Following evidence and theories buried away for decades and chasing up-to-the-minute encounters, they aim to bring fact to fiction by documenting one of these legendary creatures for the first time.
In the intro, we also are told that all of these people are “experts”. Obviously, we are meant to find them credible and experienced in investigating mystery animal claims. Mewshaw says he has several degrees,
- Barbieri is listed as a “cryptozoologist”, and the others are touted for their experience and knowledge. My idea of experts must be different than the producers as none are zoologists or biologists. Barbieri, is known as a paranormal researcher who has interest in UFOlogy. She has given herself the title of cryptozoologist like many others in that field. But her IMDB bio states Actress, Writer and Producer.
- Charlie Mewshaw is an author, podcaster, and artist (and now “program host”) who cites his “natural resource science” background. It’s unclear what that means but it that is not “biology” or “zoology”.
- Troy Lillie is Brittany’s brother. His job, according to Facebook, is Co-Owner of Crocstar clothing and produces crocodile-related conservation media content.
- Justin Igualada is a wildlife handler and alligator wrestler.
- I don’t doubt that CIA/FBI person Tracy Walder was what she said but it doesn’t actually have any value to a show about mysterious animals unless they are going to focus on eyewitness accounts (which seems like the way it’s going to go) or government secrets (which also might be the direction they are headed).
So, from my point of view, this is a team of people who call themselves experts but they haven’t done much, if any, scientific research, published papers, and undergone peer review for their work. Discovery producers can call them “experts” and won’t get in trouble for it. I’ll drop in here a reminder that Sanderson himself had a degree in Zoology. Calling oneself an “expert” is usual for paranormal content, so this flummery is almost expected.
If I’m wrong about any of these assertions, feel free to let me know. The reason I’m irked by this use of “expert” in a presumably zoological show is because, if you are going to do animal investigations regarding interpretation, conclusions, etc., that is framed as scientific, you had better have some legit cred and know how science actually works. None of these people have that, though it will not be obvious to the casual viewer. This is a Monster Quest-style show where people are pretending to do science and look very serious-minded, but their conclusions mean little because the results are contrived without peer review and critique. Scientific discoveries aren’t legitimized via TV show.
Oh dear, I’ve shown all my cards already. But it’s no surprise that I deeply despise this ‘I play a scientist/researcher on TV’ gambit. It is how many nonfiction mystery docu-shows are formatted, which is, unfortunately, promoting misinformation to the audience. My choice would have actual scientists talking about this stuff, but, I’d bet they are busy creating actual knowledge.
At least LMF does not appear to be manufactured fiction like previous Discovery Network shows. And, it is possible that the content could be informative. Plus, we all know that Monster Quest was useful in getting people interested in animals. Some of those people undoubtedly realized that the MQ content was not altogether reliable; that it was solely entertainment, not scholarship.
Episode 1: A tale of two chupacabras
I’ll hit the few points that stuck out to me in this episode.
Sanderson is emphasized as “the” founder of cryptozoology.
I’m going to assume that the people reading this have some background in the history of cryptozoology. The program uses Ivan T. Sanderson’s ideas as a foundation, and maybe nothing more than a plot device. I’m a bit concerned about that. Sanderson was problematic but I enjoy his writing without taking it too seriously. The narration tells us Sanderson was “the” founder of cryptozoology. The press release says “a” founder of cryptozoology, which is more correct. There is no mention of Bernard Heuvelmans (“father of cryptozoology”) so far, but they do head to Minnesota…
Where is the archive from?
The archive of recordings, papers, binders, casts and animal remains are said to have been “lost” for 50 years and that this team got access to it in Kalamazoo, Michigan. I don’t know the background for this. Sanderson’s paper are known to be in the archives of the American Philosophical Society in Philadelphia. I do not know the difference between the collections. Could this content be some of the material taken from his Society for the Investigation of the Unexplained (SITU) headquarters in New Jersey? It was known that after his death people made off with stuff from the headquarters. The origin story of the archives is not addressed in the first episode.
Hybrid canids and the chupacabra
For this episode, the link to Sanderson, who wrote back in the 1950s and 60s, is that he considered that hybrid wolf-like canids could account for mystery animals in the US. This is the show’s jumping off point to discuss livestock deaths by mystery canids in both North Carolina and Texas. Brittany, Troy and Justin visit farmers in Appalachian North Carolina who report seeing a large canid and experiencing livestock deaths. Notably, the creature is said to be bigger than a coyote with some reporting “glowing green eyes”.
Meanwhile, Charlie and Tracy pay a visit to Phyllis Canion, owner of the iconic “chupacabra” that was killed and taxidermied in Cuero, Texas. Canion’s DNA test showed that the strange animal was a coyote with a mix of Mexican red wolf. However, it is notable that the “wolf” portion could have been introduced generations ago, according to information from UC Davis. In LMF, however, the DNA result is said to include a “unknown” portion as well. Much is made of this “mystery” as I will circle back to in a bit.
Phyllis Canion with the mounted version of the hairless animal killed near her Cuero, Texas ranch.In North Carolina, a stake out by the crew with a live goat as bait resulted in a brief glimpse on infrared video of a canid shape racing through the area. Almost unbelievably, the animal ran into a pole they placed in the ground to act as a hair trap, dislodging it. It left not hair, but skin. The skin sample was sent for DNA testing and the result was said to be exactly the same as Canion’s result, leading to the team to conclude that it’s the same species of animal.
Blood-sucking beast
The history of the cryptid called a “chupacabra” is socially complex and rather confusing. If you know, you know. Throughout the episode, the cast states that it would be awesome to finally get proof of whatever the “chupacabra” is. However, not only is Canion’s animal referred to as a “chupacabra” (so we already know that, in this four-legged chupa-form, it’s a coyote), but the legend of other sightings are assumed to be factual, as if this is all one-in-the-same “new” species of animal that “drains the blood” of livestock. At no point is there ever mention of the fact that canids do not and cannot “suck” blood. Dead animals don’t bleed because blood quickly coagulates. If the carcass is “mutilated” by scavengers after it is deceased, there will not be blood everywhere. The cast appears to be egregiously ignorant of how biology works. Or the whole vampire angle is emphasized for creepy effect.
Ridiculous conclusion
A trendy idea by non-scientists in the fantastical cryptid scene is that dire wolves are still living out there. There is zero scientific evidence for this, not even a hint that they exist, with the youngest remains dated at about 10,000 years ago. LMF suggests that the “unknown” portion of the two DNA results could represent dire wolf, vindicating Sanderson’s hybrid idea. However, we do have DNA from extinct dire wolfs and it shows they diverged from other wolf lines nearly 6 million years ago. The animals in question are not part dire wolf. The real conclusion, no matter if you believe or not, is that these animals are weird looking coyotes. Wolf-like canids readily hybridize. The DNA mix appears to not be unusual as it is common for southern coyotes to have red wolf DNA, but, here, the gaps are exploited as “mysterious” for dramatic effect (and as misinformation).
Barbieri and Mewshaw casually decide, on the basis of dubious reports and DNA conjecture, that both animals belong to a new species that they call “Lykos sphinx” – and inappropriate and nonsensical name. Zoological names must be based on specimens, and be published, not a hot take from a TV show. This is undoubtedly the stupidest part of the show, even outdoing the gross sibling jibes (which are sort of realistic and funny) and gratuitous sexist reference about Brittany asking to talk to other witnesses.
I’m not buying much of the “evidence” in this presentation. The premise of a blood sucking, green eyed, ravenous beast is supported. Coyotes, and many other things, kill livestock and there are several explanations for why a body remained uneaten. I’m not even convinced by the bite marks on the dead pig shown. Too many questions remain unanswered and the anecdotes are also unconvincing. LMF appears to be another in a very long parade of samey pseudoscience paranormal shows. The scientifical cast appears to want to use the gimmick that Sanderson was prescient in thinking about cryptids decades ago. I feel this is reaching, and it doesn’t land well. I will watch a few more episodes to see.
Real mystery animal out there?
I don’t want to end on that note – there is something interesting to me going on with animals like the one Phyllis Canion found and I would like to know more from actual experts. The Cuero specimen has some unique characteristics, and I wonder if more than one animal like this has been documented. In a way, these pseudo-chupacabra animals are cryptids in that the legend is growing and outpacing the ability of scientific information to reach the public.
Sometimes called “Texas blue dogs” for their hairless, blue-skinned appearance, some show hairlessness beyond typical patterns of sarcoptic mange, and have unusual jaws, eye color, leg length, etc. I cannot find that there was ever a published article on these specimens, if they fall within the range of morphology for coyotes, and if this ties into the claims about these hybrid animals as a population or an anomaly. It would make an actual good show to hear more about this and see what’s real and what has been exaggerated.
For more info on the history of the chupacabra, check out Benjamin Radford’s Tracking the Chupacabra (2011)
More: Episode 2, ABSM and the origin of the files and Episode 3, Pennsylvania Thunderbird
#chupacabra #coyote #cryptid #Cryptozoology #direWolf #DNA #IvanSanderson #LostMonsterFiles #MonsterQuest #paranormalTV #PhyllisCanion #ReviewOfLostMonsterFiles #science #sciencey #Scientifical #TexasBlueDogs #TVShow
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Lost Monster Files – Carolina Chupacabra review
The Discovery Channel’s new series “Lost Monster Files” (LMF) is promoted as a cryptozoology program that uses a team of experts that consult the archives of “founder of cryptozoology”, Ivan T. Sanderson, in their investigations of modern claims of unclassified animals. The first episode, titled Carolina Chupacabra, aired on 9 October 2024. Here is my review about the content and conclusions.
Not a promising start
There is not a lot of reliable background information on this show on the web. There was a press release and that’s about it. The episodes listed in various places are jumbled and they are not yet airing on the usual streaming services (that is, it’s not on Discovery +). Here is the official blurb for the first episode:
In the premiere episode, the group investigates a series of strange livestock mutilations in the Smoky Mountains that locals fear could be tied to the infamous Chupacabra, which has terrorized the Southwest for decades. Using journals and evidence from Sanderson’s archive, the team investigates a rash of deadly encounters in North Carolina to try and document this killer canine…and the possibility that the creature could be migrating east.
Interestingly, I also found this alternate wording on another TV listing site that was more or less the same except for this part:
…the team attempts to uncover the identity of this killer canine and whether or not it could be part of a secret government testing program.
Right from the start, with the intro (“A horrifying, blood-sucking beast is terrorizing Appalachia…”), and the hint of conspiracy mongering from what might have been an earlier draft blurb, we’re in outlandish BS paranormal territory. The episode ends up NOT going there, at least, but I can’t help wonder if that was an editing decision. Before we get to the content, let’s check out the show’s “experts.”
A Team of “Experts”
From the press release:
The team includes field scientist and tech expert Charlie Mewshaw, cryptozoologist Brittany Barbieri, predator experts and wildlife trackers Troy Lillie and Justin Igualada, and former CIA officer and FBI agent Tracy Walder. Following evidence and theories buried away for decades and chasing up-to-the-minute encounters, they aim to bring fact to fiction by documenting one of these legendary creatures for the first time.
In the intro, we also are told that all of these people are “experts”. Obviously, we are meant to find them credible and experienced in investigating mystery animal claims. Mewshaw says he has several degrees,
- Barbieri is listed as a “cryptozoologist”, and the others are touted for their experience and knowledge. My idea of experts must be different than the producers as none are zoologists or biologists. Barbieri, is known as a paranormal researcher who has interest in UFOlogy. She has given herself the title of cryptozoologist like many others in that field. But her IMDB bio states Actress, Writer and Producer.
- Charlie Mewshaw is an author, podcaster, and artist (and now “program host”) who cites his “natural resource science” background. It’s unclear what that means but it that is not “biology” or “zoology”.
- Troy Lillie is Brittany’s brother. His job, according to Facebook, is Co-Owner of Crocstar clothing and produces crocodile-related conservation media content.
- Justin Igualada is a wildlife handler and alligator wrestler.
- I don’t doubt that CIA/FBI person Tracy Walder was what she said but it doesn’t actually have any value to a show about mysterious animals unless they are going to focus on eyewitness accounts (which seems like the way it’s going to go) or government secrets (which also might be the direction they are headed).
So, from my point of view, this is a team of people who call themselves experts but they haven’t done much, if any, scientific research, published papers, and undergone peer review for their work. Discovery producers can call them “experts” and won’t get in trouble for it. I’ll drop in here a reminder that Sanderson himself had a degree in Zoology. Calling oneself an “expert” is usual for paranormal content, so this flummery is almost expected.
If I’m wrong about any of these assertions, feel free to let me know. The reason I’m irked by this use of “expert” in a presumably zoological show is because, if you are going to do animal investigations regarding interpretation, conclusions, etc., that is framed as scientific, you had better have some legit cred and know how science actually works. None of these people have that, though it will not be obvious to the casual viewer. This is a Monster Quest-style show where people are pretending to do science and look very serious-minded, but their conclusions mean little because the results are contrived without peer review and critique. Scientific discoveries aren’t legitimized via TV show.
Oh dear, I’ve shown all my cards already. But it’s no surprise that I deeply despise this ‘I play a scientist/researcher on TV’ gambit. It is how many nonfiction mystery docu-shows are formatted, which is, unfortunately, promoting misinformation to the audience. My choice would have actual scientists talking about this stuff, but, I’d bet they are busy creating actual knowledge.
At least LMF does not appear to be manufactured fiction like previous Discovery Network shows. And, it is possible that the content could be informative. Plus, we all know that Monster Quest was useful in getting people interested in animals. Some of those people undoubtedly realized that the MQ content was not altogether reliable; that it was solely entertainment, not scholarship.
Episode 1: A tale of two chupacabras
I’ll hit the few points that stuck out to me in this episode.
Sanderson is emphasized as “the” founder of cryptozoology.
I’m going to assume that the people reading this have some background in the history of cryptozoology. The program uses Ivan T. Sanderson’s ideas as a foundation, and maybe nothing more than a plot device. I’m a bit concerned about that. Sanderson was problematic but I enjoy his writing without taking it too seriously. The narration tells us Sanderson was “the” founder of cryptozoology. The press release says “a” founder of cryptozoology, which is more correct. There is no mention of Bernard Heuvelmans (“father of cryptozoology”) so far, but they do head to Minnesota…
Where is the archive from?
The archive of recordings, papers, binders, casts and animal remains are said to have been “lost” for 50 years and that this team got access to it in Kalamazoo, Michigan. I don’t know the background for this. Sanderson’s paper are known to be in the archives of the American Philosophical Society in Philadelphia. I do not know the difference between the collections. Could this content be some of the material taken from his Society for the Investigation of the Unexplained (SITU) headquarters in New Jersey? It was known that after his death people made off with stuff from the headquarters. The origin story of the archives is not addressed in the first episode.
Hybrid canids and the chupacabra
For this episode, the link to Sanderson, who wrote back in the 1950s and 60s, is that he considered that hybrid wolf-like canids could account for mystery animals in the US. This is the show’s jumping off point to discuss livestock deaths by mystery canids in both North Carolina and Texas. Brittany, Troy and Justin visit farmers in Appalachian North Carolina who report seeing a large canid and experiencing livestock deaths. Notably, the creature is said to be bigger than a coyote with some reporting “glowing green eyes”.
Meanwhile, Charlie and Tracy pay a visit to Phyllis Canion, owner of the iconic “chupacabra” that was killed and taxidermied in Cuero, Texas. Canion’s DNA test showed that the strange animal was a coyote with a mix of Mexican red wolf. However, it is notable that the “wolf” portion could have been introduced generations ago, according to information from UC Davis. In LMF, however, the DNA result is said to include a “unknown” portion as well. Much is made of this “mystery” as I will circle back to in a bit.
Phyllis Canion with the mounted version of the hairless animal killed near her Cuero, Texas ranch.In North Carolina, a stake out by the crew with a live goat as bait resulted in a brief glimpse on infrared video of a canid shape racing through the area. Almost unbelievably, the animal ran into a pole they placed in the ground to act as a hair trap, dislodging it. It left not hair, but skin. The skin sample was sent for DNA testing and the result was said to be exactly the same as Canion’s result, leading to the team to conclude that it’s the same species of animal.
Blood-sucking beast
The history of the cryptid called a “chupacabra” is socially complex and rather confusing. If you know, you know. Throughout the episode, the cast states that it would be awesome to finally get proof of whatever the “chupacabra” is. However, not only is Canion’s animal referred to as a “chupacabra” (so we already know that, in this four-legged chupa-form, it’s a coyote), but the legend of other sightings are assumed to be factual, as if this is all one-in-the-same “new” species of animal that “drains the blood” of livestock. At no point is there ever mention of the fact that canids do not and cannot “suck” blood. Dead animals don’t bleed because blood quickly coagulates. If the carcass is “mutilated” by scavengers after it is deceased, there will not be blood everywhere. The cast appears to be egregiously ignorant of how biology works. Or the whole vampire angle is emphasized for creepy effect.
Ridiculous conclusion
A trendy idea by non-scientists in the fantastical cryptid scene is that dire wolves are still living out there. There is zero scientific evidence for this, not even a hint that they exist, with the youngest remains dated at about 10,000 years ago. LMF suggests that the “unknown” portion of the two DNA results could represent dire wolf, vindicating Sanderson’s hybrid idea. However, we do have DNA from extinct dire wolfs and it shows they diverged from other wolf lines nearly 6 million years ago. The animals in question are not part dire wolf. The real conclusion, no matter if you believe or not, is that these animals are weird looking coyotes. Wolf-like canids readily hybridize. The DNA mix appears to not be unusual as it is common for southern coyotes to have red wolf DNA, but, here, the gaps are exploited as “mysterious” for dramatic effect (and as misinformation).
Barbieri and Mewshaw casually decide, on the basis of dubious reports and DNA conjecture, that both animals belong to a new species that they call “Lykos sphinx” – and inappropriate and nonsensical name. Zoological names must be based on specimens, and be published, not a hot take from a TV show. This is undoubtedly the stupidest part of the show, even outdoing the gross sibling jibes (which are sort of realistic and funny) and gratuitous sexist reference about Brittany asking to talk to other witnesses.
I’m not buying much of the “evidence” in this presentation. The premise of a blood sucking, green eyed, ravenous beast is supported. Coyotes, and many other things, kill livestock and there are several explanations for why a body remained uneaten. I’m not even convinced by the bite marks on the dead pig shown. Too many questions remain unanswered and the anecdotes are also unconvincing. LMF appears to be another in a very long parade of samey pseudoscience paranormal shows. The scientifical cast appears to want to use the gimmick that Sanderson was prescient in thinking about cryptids decades ago. I feel this is reaching, and it doesn’t land well. I will watch a few more episodes to see.
Real mystery animal out there?
I don’t want to end on that note – there is something interesting to me going on with animals like the one Phyllis Canion found and I would like to know more from actual experts. The Cuero specimen has some unique characteristics, and I wonder if more than one animal like this has been documented. In a way, these pseudo-chupacabra animals are cryptids in that the legend is growing and outpacing the ability of scientific information to reach the public.
Sometimes called “Texas blue dogs” for their hairless, blue-skinned appearance, some show hairlessness beyond typical patterns of sarcoptic mange, and have unusual jaws, eye color, leg length, etc. I cannot find that there was ever a published article on these specimens, if they fall within the range of morphology for coyotes, and if this ties into the claims about these hybrid animals as a population or an anomaly. It would make an actual good show to hear more about this and see what’s real and what has been exaggerated.
For more info on the history of the chupacabra, check out Benjamin Radford’s Tracking the Chupacabra (2011)
More: Episode 2, ABSM and the origin of the files and Episode 3, Pennsylvania Thunderbird
#chupacabra #coyote #cryptid #Cryptozoology #direWolf #DNA #IvanSanderson #LostMonsterFiles #MonsterQuest #paranormalTV #PhyllisCanion #ReviewOfLostMonsterFiles #science #sciencey #Scientifical #TexasBlueDogs #TVShow
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The Maryland Deathfest Chronicles
By Mark Z.
Sup fukkers! I’m back, having spent the last few years getting a law degree, trying to land a job, and settling into married life. But through it all, I haven’t lost sight of what’s truly important. I still buy records. I still go to shows. I still have a burning desire to blast Impiety so fukkin loud that my skull implodes and my internal organs turn into a thick pink paste that probably looks like the stuff chicken nuggets are made from. And what better way to prove that the metalized blood still flows through my veins than by providing you with a live report of the most brutal festival this side of the Atlantic—Maryland Deathfest?
Held over Memorial Day weekend in downtown Baltimore, Maryland Deathfest is arguably the premiere underground metal festival in the United States. The four‑day event welcomes dozens of bands from all over the extreme metal spectrum and beyond, including styles like grindcore and hardcore punk. While the fest has taken place almost every year since 2003, this year’s edition was particularly special, as there was a very real possibility it was never going to happen. After the 2020 and 2021 editions were canceled due to the pandemic, the 2022 edition proved to be a logistical nightmare for festival organizers Ryan Taylor and Evan Harting, with visa issues and other challenges causing the two to announce that they needed some time off. As a result, they stated that there would be no 2023 edition and that there might never be another edition at all.
Fortunately, Ryan and Evan decided to continue the fest, leading to a 2024 edition that was absolutely stacked with great bands. Dismember, Sodom, Primordial, Aura Noir, and Archgoat were just a few of the groups I was excited to see, and even with the unfortunate cancellations of groups like My Dying Bride and Coffins, having Agalloch and Morta Skuld as replacements definitely softened the blow. With my time off from work confirmed and my metal shirts freshly laundered, I mentally prepared myself for four days of blast beats, moshing, and other heavy metal mayhem!
If only I knew what awaited me.
Thursday
As the morning light pours into my bedroom, I make a mental note to drink a Red Bull at some point today. I’ve slept like crap, probably due to a combination of being excited for the festival, having a stuffy bedroom, and being constantly awakened by a 55-pound pit bull that insisted on plopping her entire body onto my side of the bed. Fortunately, I now live only a 30-minute drive from downtown Baltimore, so I don’t have to worry about catching a flight or paying an exorbitant price for a hotel. Unfortunately, this means I’ll have to suffer through the I-95 traffic that has only gotten worse with the recent Key Bridge collapse.
After taking a strange detour to avoid an accident (and almost getting into one myself), I arrive in Baltimore. The sun is bright, small groups of people in black shirts are walking around, and the air feels electric with anticipation. While I’m a bit bummed that I’m attending by myself this year, it’s still hard not to be excited.
I get my wristband and head to Baltimore Soundstage for the festival’s first band: Depulsed. Even though the sole release of this Las Vegas brutal death metal group is a 2019 demo that contains just one song, the venue is surprisingly crowded—probably full of people who, like me, couldn’t get a ticket to last night’s Pre‑Fest and are eager to finally hear some live metal. Fortunately, this quartet don’t disappoint, as their destructive grooves and occasionally atypical riffing make for a rousing start to the festivities. It’s clear the band is having a great time, too, and there’s plenty of headbanging all around.
When Depulsed finishes, I go across the street to Rams Head Live!, the festival’s main other indoor venue. While Soundstage is a pretty traditional midsized venue, Rams Head is an open‑concept, multi‑level nightclub with a large raised stage as its focal point. Once inside, I snag a prime upper‑level spot for the evening’s next band: Fossilization. This Brazilian doom-death metal group sent some shockwaves through the underground last year with their Leprous Daylight debut, and their live performance is equally captivating. The group use lots of tight and hammering blast beats, and it seems the “doom” in their sound comes primarily from the monolithic heaviness of their guitars rather than their scattered moments of slower tempos. With an imposing stage presence and growls so deep that they shake the floor of the balcony I’m standing on, their performance is one to remember.
I’m not particularly interested in the brutal death metal at Soundstage tonight, so I decide to stick around Rams Head. I realize this is a good call as soon as Pittsburgh doom-death metal quartet Derkéta begin playing. Formed in 1988 and considered to be the first all-female death metal band (though today they have a male drummer), the group keep heads bobbing with assertive chugs and massive riffs that sound like Black Sabbath with a mound of graveyard dirt dropped on top. The live mix in the venue seems especially clear and powerful tonight, and apparently, I’m not the only one who notices. Between songs, frontwoman Sharon Bascovsky takes time to compliment the venue’s sound engineer before kicking back in with more hefty riffs and reverberating growls.
Deviating from the doom theme, Canadian weirdos Chthe’ilist are up next. While I wasn’t particularly excited for their Demilich‑influenced death metal, the group play like this is the only performance that has ever mattered. They sound warped, alien, and impossibly tight as if they’ve perfected a style of death metal that independently evolved in another dimension. Meanwhile, their vocalist has a wild‑eyed expression that makes him look like he’s just returned from that dimension and is attempting to describe it to the audience through a series of shrieks, croaks, and everything in between. With lots of onstage energy and an endless onslaught of strange yet catchy riffs, the band quickly inspire a wild mosh pit. If anyone knew how to pronounce the band’s name, I’m sure they’d be chanting it between songs.
Sadly, the first sign of trouble emerges during their set. About three‑fourths of the way through, I find myself within the blast radius of a miasmatic eruption of flatulence that smells like a mix of raw sewage and rotting meat. When the band finishes and the smell clears, I learn from the Maryland Deathfest Facebook group that such occurrences seem to be particularly prevalent at this year’s festival. Some theorize the new taco place is to blame. Others claim that body odor, rather than gas, may be the true cause of the smells. I realize then that I may have let one or two of my own expulsions squeak out in the heat of the moment, and I wonder how much I contributed to what others are experiencing.
But there’s no time to dwell on such matters, as Morta Skuld soon come onstage. With the unfortunate last‑minute cancellation of Coffins, this Wisconsin death metal institution stepped up to the plate as replacements. Like Chthe’ilist, Morta Skuld wasn’t a band I was particularly excited for, but my attitude quickly changes. With meaty riffs, catchy chugs, and the forceful yet intelligible vocals of frontman Dave Gregor, the band sound gigantic and utterly commanding. The crowd pulsates to the rhythms as the band tear through cuts from their 1993 debut Dying Remains and this year’s Creation Undone. Their set ends up being an utter blast and one of my overall favorites from the festival.
After Morta Skuld, I head outside to the Power Plant stage, the only outdoor venue open today. The stage is located just outside of Rams Head in the Power Plant Live! complex, which is a multi-level outdoor entertainment area consisting mostly of bars and restaurants. The Power Plant stage itself is located in the back of the complex at the end of a somewhat narrow corridor. The feature band out here tonight is German thrash legends Sodom, who are playing the entirety of their 1989 classic Agent Orange album. No one could say it’s a bad performance, but I have a tough time staying engaged being so far from the stage and constantly having to deal with people squeezing past me. After “Baptism of Fire,” I decide not to stick around for their encore and head back into Rams Head.
I snag another balcony spot for U.K. funeral doom band Esoteric, who provide a great break from the faster bands I’ve watched. While I’m not much of a doom guy, I discovered Esoteric very early in my metal journey and have always had a soft spot for them. In a live setting, the group is utterly entrancing. A trippy video backdrop plays as the band open with the cleanly picked intro of “Circle,” the first song from the group’s 2008 opus The Maniacal Vale. Once the distortion hits, the guitars envelop the room with a sense of heaviness that sounds like tectonic plates shifting. The group’s atmosphere is so dense you can taste it, and the wailing guitar leads conjure huge climaxes between the doomy trudges and anguished roars. It’s a terrific and mesmerizing performance.
Once Esoteric finishes, I trudge back over to Soundstage to catch the final band of the night: Chicago death metal legends Broken Hope. The group are already about halfway through their set by the time I arrive, and the packed venue is absolutely loving it. Crunchy riffs, punchy grooves, and violent blasts have created a human maelstrom in the center of the venue that seems to be growing stronger with each passing song. Guitarist and sole original member Jeremy Wagner thanks the crowd for their support before the band conclude their set with some especially brutal cuts from their 1991 debut Swamped in Gore. The set is so fun, that I almost want to stick around just to chat with people after it’s over. But it’s late, I’m tired, and my balls feel like they need a good wash. I drive home and go to bed.
Friday
I wake up and finally wash my balls. After once again fighting through traffic to get to Baltimore, I head to Soundstage to catch Kontusion. Though this group’s only release is a short demo, their members bring experience playing in bands from all over the Mid-Atlantic. Perhaps because of that experience, the group’s live performance is powerful and tight, with the band offering up belligerent and bludgeoning death metal that manages to be cavernous yet aggressive. For a band I had no expectations for, they definitely leave an impression.
As an added plus, they even have the courtesy of finishing a few minutes early so I don’t have to miss any of Defeated Sanity’s set. The German brutal death metal group are playing right outside of Soundstage on the Market Place stage, which has just opened today and is a new feature at the fest this year. Borrowing the idea from last year’s Hell in the Harbor festival, the Deathfest organizers opted to fence off an entire city block just outside of Soundstage and use the space to set up an outdoor stage, a merch tent, and a bunch of bars and food vendors. What’s most amusing about the setup, however, is that a narrow pedestrian walkway allows unsuspecting members of the public to still pass down the block and be subjected to whatever vile noise happens to be emanating from the Market Place stage at the time. I glance over to see families with kids walking by in bewilderment, their peaceful Friday stroll ruined by Defeated Sanity’s ear-rupturing slams and sewer monster gurgles. I chuckle to myself and proceed to bob my head to the band’s fun set of intricate riffs, stringy bass guitar, and devastating grooves.
I stick around Market Place for Aura Noir, who unfortunately start a bit later than expected. Once they get going, however, the Norwegian group’s trebly black-thrash metal quickly inspires a wild circle pit and several crowd surfers. I would have preferred it if they played a few less deep cuts (and a few more songs from Black Thrash Attack), but the group still offer plenty of good fist-raisers like “The Stalker” and “Condor.” “We’re the ugliest band in the world!” proclaims bassist and vocalist Apollyon as he looks over the crowd with his permanent sneer.
At this point, the late afternoon sun is beating down on me, and I’m sweating so much that my groin is about to become a government-designated wetland. Once Aura Noir finishes, I dip inside Soundstage to cool off and catch New Jersey death metal troupe Siege Column. Due to Aura Noir’s late start, Siege Column is already partially through their set, and I’m utterly confused by the scene I walk into. On record, Siege Column almost sound like a war metal band. Yet here, the group appear to forgo any spiked gauntlets or bullet belts and instead opt for a bright and colorful backdrop, with two of the four members wearing Ray Ban-style sunglasses. It’s odd at first, but somehow the aesthetic works. It’s like stepping into an alternate reality where war metal evolved in the early 80s and somehow became the music of choice for boardwalk arcades on the Jersey Shore. Looks aside, the group’s performance is an utter assault. The band sound like a grenade launcher being fired at the audience, with whiffs of Bolt Thrower apparent in their blaring and stompy riffing. “That was fucking awesome,” says a random guy next to me when their set is over. I’m inclined to agree.
Having cooled off enough for my groin to narrowly avoid the jurisdiction of the Clean Water Act, I take some time to get some food and browse the Maryland Deathfest Facebook group. The farting, it seems, has not subsided today, and some contend that it has actually grown worse. One person has unofficially dubbed the festival “Maryland Fartfest.” As I’m reading this, I realize that I’m halfway through eating a piece of pizza topped with mozzarella sticks and did not bring my Lactaid pills with me. Maryland Fartfest, it seems, is just getting started.
But the flatulence is not here yet. I finish my food and head across the street to the Power Plant complex, where a village of merch vendors are set up and peddling shirts, banners, vinyl, leather, and everything else a metalhead could desire. I take some time to peruse the selections before heading to Angels Rock Bar, a cozy upstairs establishment in the Power Plant complex. Angels Rock Bar is very much the “bonus venue” of the festival, with the small establishment featuring mostly local metal bands. As I enter the dimly lit bar, I see it’s lined with people who are hunched over and looking like they’ve never given a fuck about anything in their entire life.
It’s a perfect setting for some brutal death metal. Entrail Asphyxiation are a young Maryland band, and I’m not just referring to their formation date. As the group are doing their sound check, I notice that none of the members appear to be older than twenty. “Alright, let’s hear the drum triggers,” says the sound engineer. “He doesn’t use triggers,” says the band’s bassist. It turns out, the drummer doesn’t use triggers because he doesn’t need them. Despite their age, Entrail Asphyxiation sound like seasoned veterans, delivering a tight as fuck performance that people go absolutely apeshit over. As the fat guitars and bass break in, the set takes on the vibe of a sweaty basement show, with the front of the crowd whipping around like they’re trapped in a blender. The vocalist offers some unusual tortured shrieks and gets a few chuckles as she introduces a Mortician cover by saying, “If you know the words sing along—because I don’t.” Their set ends up being one of the most fun performances of the night.
Coming off that high, I head back over to Market Place for Agalloch. As a band whose first three records are easily on my list of Top 25 favorite albums of all time, this Oregon atmospheric metal group are one of the bands I’m looking forward to the most. I haven’t seen them since 2012, and I’m especially excited to see them tonight given that this is their first East Coast show since reforming last year. Fortunately, they don’t disappoint. As the wailing ambiance of “Limbs” begins their set, I’m instantly transported back to being a college freshman and having lyrics from Ashes Against the Grain stuck in my head while jogging in the dense woods around campus. By the time that track’s accelerating drumbeat hits just a few minutes later, I’m broken and totally given over to whatever the band have to offer. The set ends up pulling from all eras of their discography, with many selections from Ashes Against the Grain. While John Haughm’s vocals are a little loud in the mix, I love the fact that they actually seem to play all their clean guitar parts rather than relying on samples.
As the performance continues, their elegant and ethereal sound becomes transcendent. In front of me, I see a group of people I’ve seen at festivals before, laughing and chatting with each other while the beautiful leads of “Falling Snow” play in the background. I suddenly feel stupid standing here by myself, wearing a poorly made battle vest and a Bewitcher shirt that’s too small for me. As the final guitar lines of “Bloodbirds” echo throughout downtown Baltimore, I feel like I’m trying to swallow an apple whole.
When the set ends, I blink rapidly a few times before walking back across the street to see Ahab on the Power Plant stage. The German funeral doom band’s nautical theme is present in full force with their stage backdrop, which looks like a scene from 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea. As they begin playing, their guitars sound crisp and immense, though the group don’t feel quite as atmospheric as I would have expected. Nonetheless, frontman Daniel Droste does an outstanding job on vocals, excelling at both his mighty growls and crooning clean singing. The band are proficient players and feel like they carry the full crushing force of the abyssal zone with them. By the time they hit that chunky break midway through “Old Thunder,” I’m thoroughly impressed.
Still, it’s getting late, I’m growing weary, and I can feel an ominous pressure building in my intestines. But the night isn’t over yet. I head back to Soundstage, where Tennessee brutal death metal troupe Brodequin are in the middle of bashing in skulls with their barrage of blast beats, slammy grooves, and militant riffing. After the group finish, there’s a short break before the recently reunited Weekend Nachos take the stage. Coming out to the Mortal Kombat theme song, people seem pumped for them, and their vocalist has huge amounts of energy as he jumps around and invites people to talk with him about the upcoming Mortal Kombat movie in between songs. I’m admittedly not super familiar with Weekend Nachos, and while I feel as though I should love any band that mixes powerviolence and sludge, I don’t find their music very interesting at all. It probably doesn’t help that I’m tired and my feet hurt. When their set ends, I go home and fall asleep immediately.
Saturday
BRRRRRRRTTTTTTTTTT. The first fart of the day echoes through my bedroom, almost certainly the result of my failure to take a Lactaid during yesterday’s lunch. Fortunately, the foul smell only makes it easier to pull myself out of bed and start my drive, which isn’t nearly as bad as the past two days. Upon arrival, I head to Market Place to see the old school Spanish death metal band Avulsed. While I’m not familiar with them, their catchy tremolo runs and combative riffing make for a great start to the day, even inspiring the first wall of death I’ve seen at the fest so far.
I leave a bit early to see Impure over at Rams Head. With a backdrop featuring Jesus hanging from a noose (pulled from the artwork of their Satan’s Eclipse album), this young American project offer scalding hot and ritualistic black metal that gives off big Beherit vibes. The group prove that simple ideas and tight performances can go a long way, with the warm surging riffs and big chunky rhythms practically forcing heads to be banged. The only disappointing thing about them is that they end up being sold out of my shirt size when I try to buy one later.
After Impure, I head outside to the Power Plant stage, arriving early to get a good spot for Perdition Temple. The band is the brainchild of guitarist Gene Palubicki, who has had several cool projects over the years but is probably best known for his work in Angelcorpse. As a big fan of his, I’m looking forward to Perdition Temple’s blackened death metal assault. When they take the stage and launch into “Nemesis Obsecration,” I can’t help but bang my fist to Gene’s dexterous fretwork, scalding tremolo lines, and lightning-quick tempo shifts. Unlike previous times I’ve seen Perdition Temple, Gene and main vocalist Alex Blume (of Ares Kingdom fame) trade off on vocals this time, subjecting the audience to a dual vocal attack that only makes the pummeling blast beats and relentless riffing that much more chaotic and enjoyable. By the set’s end, I only wish the band had been given more time to play.
Once they finish, I head into Rams Head to cool off and take a breather before Norwegian thrash metal maniacs Deathhammer take the stage. Once they do, it’s only seconds into their first song before the group whip the crowd into a total fucking frenzy. The band sound frantic and unhinged, with random wild screeches and quick power chords generating one of the fastest pits I’ve seen yet. My head is banging faster and faster, and before I know it, I’m in the pit myself, running in circles and pumping my fists in the air like a madman. “This one’s for the man downstairs,” says vocalist and guitarist Sergeant Salsten, introducing the song “Satan Is Back.” That sentence turns out to be one of the only bits of banter I’m able to understand from Mr. Salsten for their entire set. I’m not sure if it’s a language barrier thing or an alcohol intoxication thing, but the man sounds like he’s slurring his words into an unintelligible mess in between songs. Fortunately, their playing is on point, and I gladly join in screaming along to “Fullmoon Sorcery” as I continue bumping into fellow moshers. Being in my mid-30s, I didn’t think anything would be able to bring me out of mosh pit retirement, but Deathhammer managed to do it.
Following their set, I join the mass migration of thrash fiends heading to Market Place to catch Canadian thrash metal institution Sacrifice. While they seem solid, I’m still catching my breath from Deathhammer. Maybe for that reason, one of my favorite songs they play is the title track from Soldiers of Misfortune, which offers a welcome respite with its cleanly picked intro and relatively slower tempos. Once they’re done, I head into Soundstage to check out the powerviolence band Lack of Interest, whose name more or less captures how I end up feeling about them. I like their energy level and the constipated lumberjack vocals, but not much else about them stands out to me.
Afterwards, I head back out to Market Place for the festival’s premiere band: Dismember. After it was announced last-minute that they were unable to play the 2022 Deathfest as planned, excitement for these Swedish death metal gods seems to be at fever pitch this year. The Market Place area is packed even though it’s begun raining and increasingly ominous clouds are looming overhead. Fortunately, the weather isn’t bad enough to cause a cancelation or delay, and the band come out with a ferocious amount of energy. Unfortunately, their live mix ends up sounding quite muddy, which could admittedly be due to where I’m standing. Nonetheless, the sound isn’t unlistenable, and the group’s songs are strong enough to shine through regardless. They do a great job picking stylistically diverse tracks from all over their catalog, from the essential “Override of the Overture” to the groovy “Skinfather” to the melodic “Tragedy of the Faithful” to the bludgeoning “Europa Burns.” The closing one-two punch of “Dreaming in Red” and “Life – Another Shape of Sorrow” hits particularly hard.
Spectral Voice and Soilent Green are both great bands, and both happen to be playing on other stages after Dismember finishes. But it’s late, I’m getting tired, and all I want is to sit down somewhere and eat a cheeseburger. I decide to do just that. Unfortunately, my cheeseburger isn’t ready until seconds before Beheaded take the stage, and I find myself rushing into Soundstage and shoveling ground beef into my mouth right as the Maltese death metal band start their first song. While their most recent record didn’t generate high marks around here, there’s something to be said for well-executed, prefix-less death metal. That’s exactly what Beheaded provide. They play tight, blasting music with plenty of potent riffs that get the crowd going nuts. I love the occasional epic edge of their riffing and how the band are both technical and brutal while still delivering pretty digestible songwriting. Maybe I’m just easy to please when it comes to death metal, but I enjoy their set a lot.
After they finish, Soundstage gets even more crowded for the night’s final band: Spanish goregrind wackos Haemorrhage. Several members dressed in medical scrubs play an instrumental opening before vocalist Lugubrious emerges, crazy-eyed and soaked in (hopefully) fake blood. From there, the venue goes berserk. Between the grimy riffs, pounding blast beats, and staccato rhythms, the band generate one of the craziest crowd responses I’ve seen so far. Glow sticks and beach balls are tossed overhead, while the mosh pit looks like a battle scene from The Lord of the Rings. Meanwhile, crowd surfers and stage divers are everywhere. Amidst it all, the songs themselves feature a surprising amount of variety, and I gleefully bang my head for almost the entirety of their 50-minute set.
As the smiling crowd shuffles out afterward, I check the Deathfest Facebook group to see the latest on the flatulence situation. Things have become dire, it seems. Reports indicate that the farts have not subsided, with some even stating that they had to leave certain venues due to the smells. Were these mere exaggerations? Or were these tales true? And what would the next day hold?
Sunday
My bedroom smells like somebody shoved a rotten egg up their ass and then shat it out in a salt marsh at low tide. I briefly thank whatever higher power may exist that my wife is on a business trip this week, as I couldn’t bear to deal with her chastising me over my gas right now. Feeling exhausted after standing for three days straight, I manage to pull myself out of bed and make the final trip into Baltimore.
It turns out to be a funny sight in the parking garage, as several groups are sitting or standing around sipping beers like a 2024 version of Heavy Metal Parking Lot. I chuckle as I head to Market Place to catch the day’s first band, Chilean thrash metal group Ripper. While the rest of the audience seems to love their extreme take on thrash metal, there’s a bit too much noodling bass guitar for me. I head to Rams Head partway through their set to catch a thrashy band that’s a little more up my alley: Daeva.
While I’ve seen Daeva at an earlier Deathfest, this is the first time I’ve seen them since they released their Through Sheer Will and Black Magic debut in 2022. Since last time, their songs and performances have only gotten better. The Philadelphia group deliver manic blackened thrash that pulls heavily from fast-as-fuck approach of Absu. Today, they have loads of energy, with vocalist Edward Gonet gesticulating wildly over the crowd while the guitars veer madly between frantic thrash riffs, swift chugs, and epic blackened moments. It’s an awesome set that inspires me to pick up a CD from their merch booth later.
After Daeva, I head back to Market Place and catch a few minutes of Artificial Brain, whose strange and warped riffing provides a nice counterpoint to the more traditional approach of most of the bands I’ve been watching. Following their set, I grab a crab cake sandwich meal and notice that the fries seem to taste like the porta potties smell. Or maybe, I’m just tasting my own dirty fingers. In any case, I’m glad I still have a few sick days left at work.
With my meal finished, I remain at Market Place for Primordial. While I haven’t listened to this Irish metal band in years, it’s only moments into their performance that I remember how captivating they can be. That’s just as true live as on record, as frontman A.A. Nemtheanga has the most commanding stage presence of any musician I’ve seen at the festival so far. Coming onstage with white face paint, a noose draped around his neck, and a resolute look on his face, he immediately draws in the audience with his forlorn singing and lyrics of historic struggles. Songs like “The Coffin Ships” hit all the harder knowing that the track is about the tragic past of his own country. The pounding drums and grandiose riffs only add to the drama, and by the time the group closes with “Empire Falls,” most of the crowd joins together in screaming the chorus. Even if their recent albums haven’t quite been met with acclaim, their live show makes clear that Primordial is a band that offers something truly special.
After Primordial, I dip back into Soundstage to check out the French goregrind band Blue Holocaust. I know nothing about this group, but catching a band that’s new to me seems more appealing than watching the other artists playing right now. As the group starts, I quickly become happy with my decision. The bespectacled vocalist betrays his slightly nerdy appearance with a monstrous gurgle that perfectly complements the band’s pummeling approach. While the music is suitably nasty and brutal, there are still plenty of tempo shifts and discernible riffs to keep the crowd hooked. Judging by the screams from the audience, the rest of the crowd seemed to enjoy their set just as much as me.
I leave Soundstage afterward and walk into what feels like an outdoor party. The Market Place area has become an ocean of people, with beach balls flying overhead and Abbath’s epic riffs blaring throughout the block. It’s a cool sight, but I choose to leave for Rams Head after a few minutes to get a good spot for Grave Miasma.
With most festival attendees apparently watching Abbath, Rams Head feels like a cool empty cavern. I snag a prime balcony spot and hang out a bit before Grave Miasma starts. Once they do, I’m thoroughly engaged. This English death metal group sound like a black force of nature that moves relentlessly forward and chokes out all sense of hope and life. The guitars are thick, and the overall sound is cavernous yet riffy. The drums are also just as tight live as they are on record, shifting deftly between blast beats and driving rhythms. After watching their set, I’m all the happier that I managed to pick up one of their shirts earlier in the day.
With no bands scheduled at Rams Head or Power Plant for over an hour after Grave Miasma finish, I once again go back across the street to the Market Place area. Once there, I head into Soundstage to watch the powerviolence duo Iron Lung. Even though they’re scheduled at the same time as Mayhem, the group seem to take it all in stride. “Thanks for coming to the fest, guys,” their drummer and vocalist says, “and sorry you had to pay such an exorbitant ticket price just to see us.”
Once they start, the performance is an utter assault. Somehow having the drummer perform vocals makes the whole thing feel more intense, and something about his battering drumming feels downright violent. The crowd eats it up. The mosh pit is vicious, and several participants began whipping each other with what look like inflatable pool toys. While I’m not a big powerviolence guy, the duo’s raw energy is infectious. Just watching them makes me feel reinvigorated.
Rather than stay to see the last few minutes of Mayhem after Iron Lung finish, I instead scurry back across the road to catch Bloodbath at the Power Plant stage. The group sound good, but I choose to only stick around for a few songs before heading into Rams Head to see Archgoat. Once inside, I take a spot on the main level, just on the outskirts of where I think the mosh pit will form. I gaze at the massive logo projected over the stage and feel like something big is about to happen.
That feeling turns out to be correct. The Finnish bestial black metal trio take their places on the stage and look utterly imposing, like they’re about to subject the audience to some sort of grand ritual. Suddenly, their ragged riffing kicks in, and I’m immediately drenched by some sort of sugary drink that’s thrown on my head from the balcony above. The crowd loses their goddamn minds. A merciless mosh pit forms right in front of me as Archgoat’s hammering blast beats and deep demonic croaks engulf the venue. I see a muscular dude level someone half his size, while other people in the pit appear to have no regard whatsoever for whether they’re running into people who aren’t trying to mosh. Meanwhile, the person behind me is jamming their arm uncomfortably into my back even though I’m standing on the edge of the pit and just trying to survive.
Suddenly, something changes within me. After four days of carelessly eating shitty food, my intestinal gas has ripened to the point where I can no longer contain it within me while in public. I feel my insides gurgle as I struggle in vain to prevent the release. Finally, I can bear it no longer. The mosh pit is twirling rapidly, and with each strike of a person against me, a gas bubble bursts from my backside and into the crowd behind me. No matter how many bubbles are expelled, it seems that more are always waiting to be dislodged the next time I’m bumped by someone. I may have let some slip in previous days, but a mass release like this is entirely unprecedented. The moment, it seems, has finally come. Maryland Fartfest is being consummated.
Unfortunately, the smell is not enough to stop the person behind me from jamming their arm into my back. I quickly come up with a plan. I notice two heavy guys collide with each other and start barreling together in my direction. Thinking fast, I take a quick step forward and immediately turn around to see them crash into the side of the pit, forming a crater in the crowd right where I stood a moment before. The arm-jabber is no more. I briefly wonder if what I did was a dick move before karma strikes in the form of a 200-pound man ramming into my left shoulder. I know at once I deserve it.
I shake it off and perk up as I hear the squealing intro of “Messiah of Pigs” start playing. For the rest of the set, my fist is in the air, pounding to the battering rhythms of tracks like “Darkness Has Returned” and “Hammer of Satan.” As the final cries of “Hail Satan!” echo throughout Rams Head, I realize just how much I’ve enjoyed the wild ride.
Then, reality sets in. It’s after midnight, and I’m tired, smelly, and sticky. When the band leave the stage, I retreat to the balcony and catch my breath for the final band of the festival: Mortuary Drape. Like Archgoat, this classic Italian black metal group have a strong ritualistic vibe, but the performance feels more occult and less violent. The entire band is clad in cloaks, and vocalist “Wilderness Perversion” performs over a makeshift altar that makes him appear like he’s delivering a bizarre sermon. The group’s chunky black metal riffs and surprisingly melodic lead guitars make for an enthralling and mystical end to four days of craziness.
When the band finishes, everyone somehow still seems to have plenty of energy as we filter out onto the Baltimore sidewalk. I walk by the Power Plant complex and see mostly empty, rain-soaked streets where the merch village once stood. It’s almost as if the entire festival was a bizarre dream. Exhausted yet thoroughly satisfied, I make my way to my car and start my final drive home.
Conclusion
I’ve attended many festivals over the years, and I can safely say that Maryland Deathfest 2024 was one of the best of them all. Almost every band I saw gave an awesome performance, the sound quality was almost always great (and in some cases, exceptional), and the sheer quality of the lineup left no shortage of great bands to see. Likewise, having all the venues within a short walk of each other was a godsend, especially for those who remember how annoying it was to walk 15 minutes to the outdoor Edison Lot stages in previous years. Most importantly, it seemed like a general air of positive energy permeated the whole experience as if everyone knew that we were all just coming here to listen to the music we love and have a great time.
The whole experience makes me so grateful that festivals like this exist, and attending this year served as a stark reminder to take advantage of seeing older bands while we can. After all, how much longer are some of these classic artists still going to be playing live? Ten more years? Fifteen? These years, I think, will be remembered as the golden age of metal—the years when many of the pioneers and classic groups are still around, playing right alongside a plethora of young hungry acts. Take advantage of this time while you can.
At least, this is what I tell myself as I click the “Check Out” button and purchase my 4-Day Pass to Maryland Deathfest 2025. It’s happening, folks—farts and all. See you fukkers there!
Author’s Note: I would like to thank Steel Druhm for allowing me to rejoin the AMG ranks after several years away, as well as the entire AMG crew for welcoming me back with open arms. This piece is dedicated to all the contributors, editors, and everyone else that makes this amazing site possible.
#Abbath #Agalloch #Ahab #Archgoat #ArtificialBrain #AuraNoir #Avulsed #Beheaded #Bloodbath #BlueHolocaust #Brodequin #BrokenHope #ChtheIlist #Daeva #Deathhammer #DefeatedSanity #Depulsed #Derkéta #Dismember #EntrailAsphyxiation #Esoteric #Fossilization #GraveMiasma #Haemorrhage #Impure #IronLung #Kontusion #LackOfInterest #MortaSkuld #MortuaryDrape #PerditionTemple #Primordial #Ripper #Sacrifice #SiegeColumn #Sodom #WeekendNachos
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The Maryland Deathfest Chronicles
By Mark Z.
Sup fukkers! I’m back, having spent the last few years getting a law degree, trying to land a job, and settling into married life. But through it all, I haven’t lost sight of what’s truly important. I still buy records. I still go to shows. I still have a burning desire to blast Impiety so fukkin loud that my skull implodes and my internal organs turn into a thick pink paste that probably looks like the stuff chicken nuggets are made from. And what better way to prove that the metalized blood still flows through my veins than by providing you with a live report of the most brutal festival this side of the Atlantic—Maryland Deathfest?
Held over Memorial Day weekend in downtown Baltimore, Maryland Deathfest is arguably the premiere underground metal festival in the United States. The four‑day event welcomes dozens of bands from all over the extreme metal spectrum and beyond, including styles like grindcore and hardcore punk. While the fest has taken place almost every year since 2003, this year’s edition was particularly special, as there was a very real possibility it was never going to happen. After the 2020 and 2021 editions were canceled due to the pandemic, the 2022 edition proved to be a logistical nightmare for festival organizers Ryan Taylor and Evan Harting, with visa issues and other challenges causing the two to announce that they needed some time off. As a result, they stated that there would be no 2023 edition and that there might never be another edition at all.
Fortunately, Ryan and Evan decided to continue the fest, leading to a 2024 edition that was absolutely stacked with great bands. Dismember, Sodom, Primordial, Aura Noir, and Archgoat were just a few of the groups I was excited to see, and even with the unfortunate cancellations of groups like My Dying Bride and Coffins, having Agalloch and Morta Skuld as replacements definitely softened the blow. With my time off from work confirmed and my metal shirts freshly laundered, I mentally prepared myself for four days of blast beats, moshing, and other heavy metal mayhem!
If only I knew what awaited me.
Thursday
As the morning light pours into my bedroom, I make a mental note to drink a Red Bull at some point today. I’ve slept like crap, probably due to a combination of being excited for the festival, having a stuffy bedroom, and being constantly awakened by a 55-pound pit bull that insisted on plopping her entire body onto my side of the bed. Fortunately, I now live only a 30-minute drive from downtown Baltimore, so I don’t have to worry about catching a flight or paying an exorbitant price for a hotel. Unfortunately, this means I’ll have to suffer through the I-95 traffic that has only gotten worse with the recent Key Bridge collapse.
After taking a strange detour to avoid an accident (and almost getting into one myself), I arrive in Baltimore. The sun is bright, small groups of people in black shirts are walking around, and the air feels electric with anticipation. While I’m a bit bummed that I’m attending by myself this year, it’s still hard not to be excited.
I get my wristband and head to Baltimore Soundstage for the festival’s first band: Depulsed. Even though the sole release of this Las Vegas brutal death metal group is a 2019 demo that contains just one song, the venue is surprisingly crowded—probably full of people who, like me, couldn’t get a ticket to last night’s Pre‑Fest and are eager to finally hear some live metal. Fortunately, this quartet don’t disappoint, as their destructive grooves and occasionally atypical riffing make for a rousing start to the festivities. It’s clear the band is having a great time, too, and there’s plenty of headbanging all around.
When Depulsed finishes, I go across the street to Rams Head Live!, the festival’s main other indoor venue. While Soundstage is a pretty traditional midsized venue, Rams Head is an open‑concept, multi‑level nightclub with a large raised stage as its focal point. Once inside, I snag a prime upper‑level spot for the evening’s next band: Fossilization. This Brazilian doom-death metal group sent some shockwaves through the underground last year with their Leprous Daylight debut, and their live performance is equally captivating. The group use lots of tight and hammering blast beats, and it seems the “doom” in their sound comes primarily from the monolithic heaviness of their guitars rather than their scattered moments of slower tempos. With an imposing stage presence and growls so deep that they shake the floor of the balcony I’m standing on, their performance is one to remember.
I’m not particularly interested in the brutal death metal at Soundstage tonight, so I decide to stick around Rams Head. I realize this is a good call as soon as Pittsburgh doom-death metal quartet Derkéta begin playing. Formed in 1988 and considered to be the first all-female death metal band (though today they have a male drummer), the group keep heads bobbing with assertive chugs and massive riffs that sound like Black Sabbath with a mound of graveyard dirt dropped on top. The live mix in the venue seems especially clear and powerful tonight, and apparently, I’m not the only one who notices. Between songs, frontwoman Sharon Bascovsky takes time to compliment the venue’s sound engineer before kicking back in with more hefty riffs and reverberating growls.
Deviating from the doom theme, Canadian weirdos Chthe’ilist are up next. While I wasn’t particularly excited for their Demilich‑influenced death metal, the group play like this is the only performance that has ever mattered. They sound warped, alien, and impossibly tight as if they’ve perfected a style of death metal that independently evolved in another dimension. Meanwhile, their vocalist has a wild‑eyed expression that makes him look like he’s just returned from that dimension and is attempting to describe it to the audience through a series of shrieks, croaks, and everything in between. With lots of onstage energy and an endless onslaught of strange yet catchy riffs, the band quickly inspire a wild mosh pit. If anyone knew how to pronounce the band’s name, I’m sure they’d be chanting it between songs.
Sadly, the first sign of trouble emerges during their set. About three‑fourths of the way through, I find myself within the blast radius of a miasmatic eruption of flatulence that smells like a mix of raw sewage and rotting meat. When the band finishes and the smell clears, I learn from the Maryland Deathfest Facebook group that such occurrences seem to be particularly prevalent at this year’s festival. Some theorize the new taco place is to blame. Others claim that body odor, rather than gas, may be the true cause of the smells. I realize then that I may have let one or two of my own expulsions squeak out in the heat of the moment, and I wonder how much I contributed to what others are experiencing.
But there’s no time to dwell on such matters, as Morta Skuld soon come onstage. With the unfortunate last‑minute cancellation of Coffins, this Wisconsin death metal institution stepped up to the plate as replacements. Like Chthe’ilist, Morta Skuld wasn’t a band I was particularly excited for, but my attitude quickly changes. With meaty riffs, catchy chugs, and the forceful yet intelligible vocals of frontman Dave Gregor, the band sound gigantic and utterly commanding. The crowd pulsates to the rhythms as the band tear through cuts from their 1993 debut Dying Remains and this year’s Creation Undone. Their set ends up being an utter blast and one of my overall favorites from the festival.
After Morta Skuld, I head outside to the Power Plant stage, the only outdoor venue open today. The stage is located just outside of Rams Head in the Power Plant Live! complex, which is a multi-level outdoor entertainment area consisting mostly of bars and restaurants. The Power Plant stage itself is located in the back of the complex at the end of a somewhat narrow corridor. The feature band out here tonight is German thrash legends Sodom, who are playing the entirety of their 1989 classic Agent Orange album. No one could say it’s a bad performance, but I have a tough time staying engaged being so far from the stage and constantly having to deal with people squeezing past me. After “Baptism of Fire,” I decide not to stick around for their encore and head back into Rams Head.
I snag another balcony spot for U.K. funeral doom band Esoteric, who provide a great break from the faster bands I’ve watched. While I’m not much of a doom guy, I discovered Esoteric very early in my metal journey and have always had a soft spot for them. In a live setting, the group is utterly entrancing. A trippy video backdrop plays as the band open with the cleanly picked intro of “Circle,” the first song from the group’s 2008 opus The Maniacal Vale. Once the distortion hits, the guitars envelop the room with a sense of heaviness that sounds like tectonic plates shifting. The group’s atmosphere is so dense you can taste it, and the wailing guitar leads conjure huge climaxes between the doomy trudges and anguished roars. It’s a terrific and mesmerizing performance.
Once Esoteric finishes, I trudge back over to Soundstage to catch the final band of the night: Chicago death metal legends Broken Hope. The group are already about halfway through their set by the time I arrive, and the packed venue is absolutely loving it. Crunchy riffs, punchy grooves, and violent blasts have created a human maelstrom in the center of the venue that seems to be growing stronger with each passing song. Guitarist and sole original member Jeremy Wagner thanks the crowd for their support before the band conclude their set with some especially brutal cuts from their 1991 debut Swamped in Gore. The set is so fun, that I almost want to stick around just to chat with people after it’s over. But it’s late, I’m tired, and my balls feel like they need a good wash. I drive home and go to bed.
Friday
I wake up and finally wash my balls. After once again fighting through traffic to get to Baltimore, I head to Soundstage to catch Kontusion. Though this group’s only release is a short demo, their members bring experience playing in bands from all over the Mid-Atlantic. Perhaps because of that experience, the group’s live performance is powerful and tight, with the band offering up belligerent and bludgeoning death metal that manages to be cavernous yet aggressive. For a band I had no expectations for, they definitely leave an impression.
As an added plus, they even have the courtesy of finishing a few minutes early so I don’t have to miss any of Defeated Sanity’s set. The German brutal death metal group are playing right outside of Soundstage on the Market Place stage, which has just opened today and is a new feature at the fest this year. Borrowing the idea from last year’s Hell in the Harbor festival, the Deathfest organizers opted to fence off an entire city block just outside of Soundstage and use the space to set up an outdoor stage, a merch tent, and a bunch of bars and food vendors. What’s most amusing about the setup, however, is that a narrow pedestrian walkway allows unsuspecting members of the public to still pass down the block and be subjected to whatever vile noise happens to be emanating from the Market Place stage at the time. I glance over to see families with kids walking by in bewilderment, their peaceful Friday stroll ruined by Defeated Sanity’s ear-rupturing slams and sewer monster gurgles. I chuckle to myself and proceed to bob my head to the band’s fun set of intricate riffs, stringy bass guitar, and devastating grooves.
I stick around Market Place for Aura Noir, who unfortunately start a bit later than expected. Once they get going, however, the Norwegian group’s trebly black-thrash metal quickly inspires a wild circle pit and several crowd surfers. I would have preferred it if they played a few less deep cuts (and a few more songs from Black Thrash Attack), but the group still offer plenty of good fist-raisers like “The Stalker” and “Condor.” “We’re the ugliest band in the world!” proclaims bassist and vocalist Apollyon as he looks over the crowd with his permanent sneer.
At this point, the late afternoon sun is beating down on me, and I’m sweating so much that my groin is about to become a government-designated wetland. Once Aura Noir finishes, I dip inside Soundstage to cool off and catch New Jersey death metal troupe Siege Column. Due to Aura Noir’s late start, Siege Column is already partially through their set, and I’m utterly confused by the scene I walk into. On record, Siege Column almost sound like a war metal band. Yet here, the group appear to forgo any spiked gauntlets or bullet belts and instead opt for a bright and colorful backdrop, with two of the four members wearing Ray Ban-style sunglasses. It’s odd at first, but somehow the aesthetic works. It’s like stepping into an alternate reality where war metal evolved in the early 80s and somehow became the music of choice for boardwalk arcades on the Jersey Shore. Looks aside, the group’s performance is an utter assault. The band sound like a grenade launcher being fired at the audience, with whiffs of Bolt Thrower apparent in their blaring and stompy riffing. “That was fucking awesome,” says a random guy next to me when their set is over. I’m inclined to agree.
Having cooled off enough for my groin to narrowly avoid the jurisdiction of the Clean Water Act, I take some time to get some food and browse the Maryland Deathfest Facebook group. The farting, it seems, has not subsided today, and some contend that it has actually grown worse. One person has unofficially dubbed the festival “Maryland Fartfest.” As I’m reading this, I realize that I’m halfway through eating a piece of pizza topped with mozzarella sticks and did not bring my Lactaid pills with me. Maryland Fartfest, it seems, is just getting started.
But the flatulence is not here yet. I finish my food and head across the street to the Power Plant complex, where a village of merch vendors are set up and peddling shirts, banners, vinyl, leather, and everything else a metalhead could desire. I take some time to peruse the selections before heading to Angels Rock Bar, a cozy upstairs establishment in the Power Plant complex. Angels Rock Bar is very much the “bonus venue” of the festival, with the small establishment featuring mostly local metal bands. As I enter the dimly lit bar, I see it’s lined with people who are hunched over and looking like they’ve never given a fuck about anything in their entire life.
It’s a perfect setting for some brutal death metal. Entrail Asphyxiation are a young Maryland band, and I’m not just referring to their formation date. As the group are doing their sound check, I notice that none of the members appear to be older than twenty. “Alright, let’s hear the drum triggers,” says the sound engineer. “He doesn’t use triggers,” says the band’s bassist. It turns out, the drummer doesn’t use triggers because he doesn’t need them. Despite their age, Entrail Asphyxiation sound like seasoned veterans, delivering a tight as fuck performance that people go absolutely apeshit over. As the fat guitars and bass break in, the set takes on the vibe of a sweaty basement show, with the front of the crowd whipping around like they’re trapped in a blender. The vocalist offers some unusual tortured shrieks and gets a few chuckles as she introduces a Mortician cover by saying, “If you know the words sing along—because I don’t.” Their set ends up being one of the most fun performances of the night.
Coming off that high, I head back over to Market Place for Agalloch. As a band whose first three records are easily on my list of Top 25 favorite albums of all time, this Oregon atmospheric metal group are one of the bands I’m looking forward to the most. I haven’t seen them since 2012, and I’m especially excited to see them tonight given that this is their first East Coast show since reforming last year. Fortunately, they don’t disappoint. As the wailing ambiance of “Limbs” begins their set, I’m instantly transported back to being a college freshman and having lyrics from Ashes Against the Grain stuck in my head while jogging in the dense woods around campus. By the time that track’s accelerating drumbeat hits just a few minutes later, I’m broken and totally given over to whatever the band have to offer. The set ends up pulling from all eras of their discography, with many selections from Ashes Against the Grain. While John Haughm’s vocals are a little loud in the mix, I love the fact that they actually seem to play all their clean guitar parts rather than relying on samples.
As the performance continues, their elegant and ethereal sound becomes transcendent. In front of me, I see a group of people I’ve seen at festivals before, laughing and chatting with each other while the beautiful leads of “Falling Snow” play in the background. I suddenly feel stupid standing here by myself, wearing a poorly made battle vest and a Bewitcher shirt that’s too small for me. As the final guitar lines of “Bloodbirds” echo throughout downtown Baltimore, I feel like I’m trying to swallow an apple whole.
When the set ends, I blink rapidly a few times before walking back across the street to see Ahab on the Power Plant stage. The German funeral doom band’s nautical theme is present in full force with their stage backdrop, which looks like a scene from 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea. As they begin playing, their guitars sound crisp and immense, though the group don’t feel quite as atmospheric as I would have expected. Nonetheless, frontman Daniel Droste does an outstanding job on vocals, excelling at both his mighty growls and crooning clean singing. The band are proficient players and feel like they carry the full crushing force of the abyssal zone with them. By the time they hit that chunky break midway through “Old Thunder,” I’m thoroughly impressed.
Still, it’s getting late, I’m growing weary, and I can feel an ominous pressure building in my intestines. But the night isn’t over yet. I head back to Soundstage, where Tennessee brutal death metal troupe Brodequin are in the middle of bashing in skulls with their barrage of blast beats, slammy grooves, and militant riffing. After the group finish, there’s a short break before the recently reunited Weekend Nachos take the stage. Coming out to the Mortal Kombat theme song, people seem pumped for them, and their vocalist has huge amounts of energy as he jumps around and invites people to talk with him about the upcoming Mortal Kombat movie in between songs. I’m admittedly not super familiar with Weekend Nachos, and while I feel as though I should love any band that mixes powerviolence and sludge, I don’t find their music very interesting at all. It probably doesn’t help that I’m tired and my feet hurt. When their set ends, I go home and fall asleep immediately.
Saturday
BRRRRRRRTTTTTTTTTT. The first fart of the day echoes through my bedroom, almost certainly the result of my failure to take a Lactaid during yesterday’s lunch. Fortunately, the foul smell only makes it easier to pull myself out of bed and start my drive, which isn’t nearly as bad as the past two days. Upon arrival, I head to Market Place to see the old school Spanish death metal band Avulsed. While I’m not familiar with them, their catchy tremolo runs and combative riffing make for a great start to the day, even inspiring the first wall of death I’ve seen at the fest so far.
I leave a bit early to see Impure over at Rams Head. With a backdrop featuring Jesus hanging from a noose (pulled from the artwork of their Satan’s Eclipse album), this young American project offer scalding hot and ritualistic black metal that gives off big Beherit vibes. The group prove that simple ideas and tight performances can go a long way, with the warm surging riffs and big chunky rhythms practically forcing heads to be banged. The only disappointing thing about them is that they end up being sold out of my shirt size when I try to buy one later.
After Impure, I head outside to the Power Plant stage, arriving early to get a good spot for Perdition Temple. The band is the brainchild of guitarist Gene Palubicki, who has had several cool projects over the years but is probably best known for his work in Angelcorpse. As a big fan of his, I’m looking forward to Perdition Temple’s blackened death metal assault. When they take the stage and launch into “Nemesis Obsecration,” I can’t help but bang my fist to Gene’s dexterous fretwork, scalding tremolo lines, and lightning-quick tempo shifts. Unlike previous times I’ve seen Perdition Temple, Gene and main vocalist Alex Blume (of Ares Kingdom fame) trade off on vocals this time, subjecting the audience to a dual vocal attack that only makes the pummeling blast beats and relentless riffing that much more chaotic and enjoyable. By the set’s end, I only wish the band had been given more time to play.
Once they finish, I head into Rams Head to cool off and take a breather before Norwegian thrash metal maniacs Deathhammer take the stage. Once they do, it’s only seconds into their first song before the group whip the crowd into a total fucking frenzy. The band sound frantic and unhinged, with random wild screeches and quick power chords generating one of the fastest pits I’ve seen yet. My head is banging faster and faster, and before I know it, I’m in the pit myself, running in circles and pumping my fists in the air like a madman. “This one’s for the man downstairs,” says vocalist and guitarist Sergeant Salsten, introducing the song “Satan Is Back.” That sentence turns out to be one of the only bits of banter I’m able to understand from Mr. Salsten for their entire set. I’m not sure if it’s a language barrier thing or an alcohol intoxication thing, but the man sounds like he’s slurring his words into an unintelligible mess in between songs. Fortunately, their playing is on point, and I gladly join in screaming along to “Fullmoon Sorcery” as I continue bumping into fellow moshers. Being in my mid-30s, I didn’t think anything would be able to bring me out of mosh pit retirement, but Deathhammer managed to do it.
Following their set, I join the mass migration of thrash fiends heading to Market Place to catch Canadian thrash metal institution Sacrifice. While they seem solid, I’m still catching my breath from Deathhammer. Maybe for that reason, one of my favorite songs they play is the title track from Soldiers of Misfortune, which offers a welcome respite with its cleanly picked intro and relatively slower tempos. Once they’re done, I head into Soundstage to check out the powerviolence band Lack of Interest, whose name more or less captures how I end up feeling about them. I like their energy level and the constipated lumberjack vocals, but not much else about them stands out to me.
Afterwards, I head back out to Market Place for the festival’s premiere band: Dismember. After it was announced last-minute that they were unable to play the 2022 Deathfest as planned, excitement for these Swedish death metal gods seems to be at fever pitch this year. The Market Place area is packed even though it’s begun raining and increasingly ominous clouds are looming overhead. Fortunately, the weather isn’t bad enough to cause a cancelation or delay, and the band come out with a ferocious amount of energy. Unfortunately, their live mix ends up sounding quite muddy, which could admittedly be due to where I’m standing. Nonetheless, the sound isn’t unlistenable, and the group’s songs are strong enough to shine through regardless. They do a great job picking stylistically diverse tracks from all over their catalog, from the essential “Override of the Overture” to the groovy “Skinfather” to the melodic “Tragedy of the Faithful” to the bludgeoning “Europa Burns.” The closing one-two punch of “Dreaming in Red” and “Life – Another Shape of Sorrow” hits particularly hard.
Spectral Voice and Soilent Green are both great bands, and both happen to be playing on other stages after Dismember finishes. But it’s late, I’m getting tired, and all I want is to sit down somewhere and eat a cheeseburger. I decide to do just that. Unfortunately, my cheeseburger isn’t ready until seconds before Beheaded take the stage, and I find myself rushing into Soundstage and shoveling ground beef into my mouth right as the Maltese death metal band start their first song. While their most recent record didn’t generate high marks around here, there’s something to be said for well-executed, prefix-less death metal. That’s exactly what Beheaded provide. They play tight, blasting music with plenty of potent riffs that get the crowd going nuts. I love the occasional epic edge of their riffing and how the band are both technical and brutal while still delivering pretty digestible songwriting. Maybe I’m just easy to please when it comes to death metal, but I enjoy their set a lot.
After they finish, Soundstage gets even more crowded for the night’s final band: Spanish goregrind wackos Haemorrhage. Several members dressed in medical scrubs play an instrumental opening before vocalist Lugubrious emerges, crazy-eyed and soaked in (hopefully) fake blood. From there, the venue goes berserk. Between the grimy riffs, pounding blast beats, and staccato rhythms, the band generate one of the craziest crowd responses I’ve seen so far. Glow sticks and beach balls are tossed overhead, while the mosh pit looks like a battle scene from The Lord of the Rings. Meanwhile, crowd surfers and stage divers are everywhere. Amidst it all, the songs themselves feature a surprising amount of variety, and I gleefully bang my head for almost the entirety of their 50-minute set.
As the smiling crowd shuffles out afterward, I check the Deathfest Facebook group to see the latest on the flatulence situation. Things have become dire, it seems. Reports indicate that the farts have not subsided, with some even stating that they had to leave certain venues due to the smells. Were these mere exaggerations? Or were these tales true? And what would the next day hold?
Sunday
My bedroom smells like somebody shoved a rotten egg up their ass and then shat it out in a salt marsh at low tide. I briefly thank whatever higher power may exist that my wife is on a business trip this week, as I couldn’t bear to deal with her chastising me over my gas right now. Feeling exhausted after standing for three days straight, I manage to pull myself out of bed and make the final trip into Baltimore.
It turns out to be a funny sight in the parking garage, as several groups are sitting or standing around sipping beers like a 2024 version of Heavy Metal Parking Lot. I chuckle as I head to Market Place to catch the day’s first band, Chilean thrash metal group Ripper. While the rest of the audience seems to love their extreme take on thrash metal, there’s a bit too much noodling bass guitar for me. I head to Rams Head partway through their set to catch a thrashy band that’s a little more up my alley: Daeva.
While I’ve seen Daeva at an earlier Deathfest, this is the first time I’ve seen them since they released their Through Sheer Will and Black Magic debut in 2022. Since last time, their songs and performances have only gotten better. The Philadelphia group deliver manic blackened thrash that pulls heavily from fast-as-fuck approach of Absu. Today, they have loads of energy, with vocalist Edward Gonet gesticulating wildly over the crowd while the guitars veer madly between frantic thrash riffs, swift chugs, and epic blackened moments. It’s an awesome set that inspires me to pick up a CD from their merch booth later.
After Daeva, I head back to Market Place and catch a few minutes of Artificial Brain, whose strange and warped riffing provides a nice counterpoint to the more traditional approach of most of the bands I’ve been watching. Following their set, I grab a crab cake sandwich meal and notice that the fries seem to taste like the porta potties smell. Or maybe, I’m just tasting my own dirty fingers. In any case, I’m glad I still have a few sick days left at work.
With my meal finished, I remain at Market Place for Primordial. While I haven’t listened to this Irish metal band in years, it’s only moments into their performance that I remember how captivating they can be. That’s just as true live as on record, as frontman A.A. Nemtheanga has the most commanding stage presence of any musician I’ve seen at the festival so far. Coming onstage with white face paint, a noose draped around his neck, and a resolute look on his face, he immediately draws in the audience with his forlorn singing and lyrics of historic struggles. Songs like “The Coffin Ships” hit all the harder knowing that the track is about the tragic past of his own country. The pounding drums and grandiose riffs only add to the drama, and by the time the group closes with “Empire Falls,” most of the crowd joins together in screaming the chorus. Even if their recent albums haven’t quite been met with acclaim, their live show makes clear that Primordial is a band that offers something truly special.
After Primordial, I dip back into Soundstage to check out the French goregrind band Blue Holocaust. I know nothing about this group, but catching a band that’s new to me seems more appealing than watching the other artists playing right now. As the group starts, I quickly become happy with my decision. The bespectacled vocalist betrays his slightly nerdy appearance with a monstrous gurgle that perfectly complements the band’s pummeling approach. While the music is suitably nasty and brutal, there are still plenty of tempo shifts and discernible riffs to keep the crowd hooked. Judging by the screams from the audience, the rest of the crowd seemed to enjoy their set just as much as me.
I leave Soundstage afterward and walk into what feels like an outdoor party. The Market Place area has become an ocean of people, with beach balls flying overhead and Abbath’s epic riffs blaring throughout the block. It’s a cool sight, but I choose to leave for Rams Head after a few minutes to get a good spot for Grave Miasma.
With most festival attendees apparently watching Abbath, Rams Head feels like a cool empty cavern. I snag a prime balcony spot and hang out a bit before Grave Miasma starts. Once they do, I’m thoroughly engaged. This English death metal group sound like a black force of nature that moves relentlessly forward and chokes out all sense of hope and life. The guitars are thick, and the overall sound is cavernous yet riffy. The drums are also just as tight live as they are on record, shifting deftly between blast beats and driving rhythms. After watching their set, I’m all the happier that I managed to pick up one of their shirts earlier in the day.
With no bands scheduled at Rams Head or Power Plant for over an hour after Grave Miasma finish, I once again go back across the street to the Market Place area. Once there, I head into Soundstage to watch the powerviolence duo Iron Lung. Even though they’re scheduled at the same time as Mayhem, the group seem to take it all in stride. “Thanks for coming to the fest, guys,” their drummer and vocalist says, “and sorry you had to pay such an exorbitant ticket price just to see us.”
Once they start, the performance is an utter assault. Somehow having the drummer perform vocals makes the whole thing feel more intense, and something about his battering drumming feels downright violent. The crowd eats it up. The mosh pit is vicious, and several participants began whipping each other with what look like inflatable pool toys. While I’m not a big powerviolence guy, the duo’s raw energy is infectious. Just watching them makes me feel reinvigorated.
Rather than stay to see the last few minutes of Mayhem after Iron Lung finish, I instead scurry back across the road to catch Bloodbath at the Power Plant stage. The group sound good, but I choose to only stick around for a few songs before heading into Rams Head to see Archgoat. Once inside, I take a spot on the main level, just on the outskirts of where I think the mosh pit will form. I gaze at the massive logo projected over the stage and feel like something big is about to happen.
That feeling turns out to be correct. The Finnish bestial black metal trio take their places on the stage and look utterly imposing, like they’re about to subject the audience to some sort of grand ritual. Suddenly, their ragged riffing kicks in, and I’m immediately drenched by some sort of sugary drink that’s thrown on my head from the balcony above. The crowd loses their goddamn minds. A merciless mosh pit forms right in front of me as Archgoat’s hammering blast beats and deep demonic croaks engulf the venue. I see a muscular dude level someone half his size, while other people in the pit appear to have no regard whatsoever for whether they’re running into people who aren’t trying to mosh. Meanwhile, the person behind me is jamming their arm uncomfortably into my back even though I’m standing on the edge of the pit and just trying to survive.
Suddenly, something changes within me. After four days of carelessly eating shitty food, my intestinal gas has ripened to the point where I can no longer contain it within me while in public. I feel my insides gurgle as I struggle in vain to prevent the release. Finally, I can bear it no longer. The mosh pit is twirling rapidly, and with each strike of a person against me, a gas bubble bursts from my backside and into the crowd behind me. No matter how many bubbles are expelled, it seems that more are always waiting to be dislodged the next time I’m bumped by someone. I may have let some slip in previous days, but a mass release like this is entirely unprecedented. The moment, it seems, has finally come. Maryland Fartfest is being consummated.
Unfortunately, the smell is not enough to stop the person behind me from jamming their arm into my back. I quickly come up with a plan. I notice two heavy guys collide with each other and start barreling together in my direction. Thinking fast, I take a quick step forward and immediately turn around to see them crash into the side of the pit, forming a crater in the crowd right where I stood a moment before. The arm-jabber is no more. I briefly wonder if what I did was a dick move before karma strikes in the form of a 200-pound man ramming into my left shoulder. I know at once I deserve it.
I shake it off and perk up as I hear the squealing intro of “Messiah of Pigs” start playing. For the rest of the set, my fist is in the air, pounding to the battering rhythms of tracks like “Darkness Has Returned” and “Hammer of Satan.” As the final cries of “Hail Satan!” echo throughout Rams Head, I realize just how much I’ve enjoyed the wild ride.
Then, reality sets in. It’s after midnight, and I’m tired, smelly, and sticky. When the band leave the stage, I retreat to the balcony and catch my breath for the final band of the festival: Mortuary Drape. Like Archgoat, this classic Italian black metal group have a strong ritualistic vibe, but the performance feels more occult and less violent. The entire band is clad in cloaks, and vocalist “Wilderness Perversion” performs over a makeshift altar that makes him appear like he’s delivering a bizarre sermon. The group’s chunky black metal riffs and surprisingly melodic lead guitars make for an enthralling and mystical end to four days of craziness.
When the band finishes, everyone somehow still seems to have plenty of energy as we filter out onto the Baltimore sidewalk. I walk by the Power Plant complex and see mostly empty, rain-soaked streets where the merch village once stood. It’s almost as if the entire festival was a bizarre dream. Exhausted yet thoroughly satisfied, I make my way to my car and start my final drive home.
Conclusion
I’ve attended many festivals over the years, and I can safely say that Maryland Deathfest 2024 was one of the best of them all. Almost every band I saw gave an awesome performance, the sound quality was almost always great (and in some cases, exceptional), and the sheer quality of the lineup left no shortage of great bands to see. Likewise, having all the venues within a short walk of each other was a godsend, especially for those who remember how annoying it was to walk 15 minutes to the outdoor Edison Lot stages in previous years. Most importantly, it seemed like a general air of positive energy permeated the whole experience as if everyone knew that we were all just coming here to listen to the music we love and have a great time.
The whole experience makes me so grateful that festivals like this exist, and attending this year served as a stark reminder to take advantage of seeing older bands while we can. After all, how much longer are some of these classic artists still going to be playing live? Ten more years? Fifteen? These years, I think, will be remembered as the golden age of metal—the years when many of the pioneers and classic groups are still around, playing right alongside a plethora of young hungry acts. Take advantage of this time while you can.
At least, this is what I tell myself as I click the “Check Out” button and purchase my 4-Day Pass to Maryland Deathfest 2025. It’s happening, folks—farts and all. See you fukkers there!
Author’s Note: I would like to thank Steel Druhm for allowing me to rejoin the AMG ranks after several years away, as well as the entire AMG crew for welcoming me back with open arms. This piece is dedicated to all the contributors, editors, and everyone else that makes this amazing site possible.
#Abbath #Agalloch #Ahab #Archgoat #ArtificialBrain #AuraNoir #Avulsed #Beheaded #Bloodbath #BlueHolocaust #Brodequin #BrokenHope #ChtheIlist #Daeva #Deathhammer #DefeatedSanity #Depulsed #Derkéta #Dismember #EntrailAsphyxiation #Esoteric #Fossilization #GraveMiasma #Haemorrhage #Impure #IronLung #Kontusion #LackOfInterest #MortaSkuld #MortuaryDrape #PerditionTemple #Primordial #Ripper #Sacrifice #SiegeColumn #Sodom #WeekendNachos
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The thread about Asa Wass & Son; the rags-to-riches rag-and-bone men of Victorian Edinburgh
This thread was originally written and published in January 2020.
There was for many years a Steptoe-like institution in Fountainbridge by the name of Asa Wass & Son Ltd. Asa is a biblical Hebrew name and Wass an ancient Anglo-Norman surname, most common in Asa’s time in the Midlands of England. According to my Dad, who grew up in nearby Dalry in the 1950s, the correct local pronunciation is “Azzy Woz“. There is an old Edinburgh tongue-twister which goes;
ASA WASS & SON Ltd. Licensed. Registered.Izzy Azzy A’ways Iz, or Izzy Azzy Woz?
Asa Wass tongue-twister, source, (Is He as He Always is, or is He As He Was / Asa Wass?)Asa Wass was born in Morley, Yorkshire in 1833 to Judith and Stephen Wass, a carpenter and moulder. According to the 1851 census, when he was 18, he was trained in his father’s trade. He married Hannah Hirst in Dewsbury, Yorkshire, in 1858 when he was 25 and she 24. They moved to Edinburgh and their first daughter, Elizabeth, was born here in 1859 within the year. More children followed; Judith Ann (Judith was the name of both Asa and Hannah’s mothers) in 1861; Clara in 1866; Thomas Henry in 1868; John Arthur in 1871; Sarah Hannah in 1874.
The “Mapping Jewish life in Edinburgh” publication by the The Research Network in Jewish Studies at Edinburgh University lists the Wasses as Jewish, and indeed Asa and Hannah are names from Hebrew. However, Asa’s mother was baptised into the Wesleyan Methodist Church; he and his siblings were baptised into the Church of England and Asa and Hannah were married in a civil ceremony, so I am not sure on the basis for this assertion. The Wass family are buried under a Celtic cross but I suppose that might just be fashion!
In 1861, the family was resident in the humble surroundings of the Old Town at 235 Cowgate (at the foot of Blair Street), with Asa’s occupation being rag merchant. They are first advertised in Edinburgh in the 1863 Post Office Directory as being at 4 St. Leonard Street, which was the family home, and the shop and yard were now at 260 Cowgate. so we can make an assumption that they are not living and trading in the same place. The entry in the PO Directory is also a symbol of success as it means that they can afford to pay for the listing.
Cowgate by James Skene, 1817. 235 Canongate was in this range of buildings, about in the middle of the illustration. Little would have changed between the time this sketch was made and the Wass family living here. © Edinburgh City LibrariesIn 1871 the Wass family residence and the business itself are moved to 63 Fountainbridge, where they are listing themselves as “woollen rag merchants“. This was on the corner of Lothian Road and Early Grey Street, so a prime position to trade from. In 1878, Asa Wass (“Broker, Fountainbridge“) his wife and his manager James Erskine were found guilty at the Burgh Court of contravening the Brokers Act for purchasing “three small quantities of old hair without being in possession of the necessary licence“. Each was fined £1 with the option of 3 days imprisonment instead. Despite this curious brush with the law they obviously prosper, as within ten years the business has moved to a much larger premises in a yard at 161 Fountainbridge and the family are at Spyfield Cottage in Colinton. They have a shop unit that occupies 153-159 and 163 Fountainbridge and at number 161 is the pend given access to their yard.
1944 OS Town Plan showing 161 Fountainbridge through the pend. WM = Weighing Machine. Reproduced with the permission of the National Library of ScotlandThe same census that places them here also records only 12 Wasses in Scotland, all in Midlothian and 9 of them being Asa, his wife and his children. They are still living in Colinton in the 1891 in the census, by which time there are an entire 16 Wasses in Scotland. Asa’s occupation is still recorded as being the humble-sounding “Rag, Rope, Paper and Metal Merchant“. However we begin to get a real sense of his success in business; the family had a live-in servant, Margaret Catcher, with them in Colinton and the PO Directory lists a house in town at 17 Leamington Terrace, as good a neighbourhood then as it is now. In 1893, Asa Wass was given permission by the Dean of Guild Court to erect stores at his yard at 161 Fountainbridge.
The photograph that I have found of Asa Wass shows a dignified, respectable-looking Victorian gentleman, clearly somebody who was doing well in life. Edinburgh had a big glue & gelatine manufactory near Fountainbride at Cox’s in Gorgie which demanded bones and skins and both the rivers of the Esk and Water of Leith supported a paper industry who made use of copious quantities of linen rags in their process. A central clearing house, the General Rag Warehouse, had been established in the city as early as 1793 to act as a middle-man between the paper makers and the individual collectors of rags. Rags would be sorted into one of five different categories; Superfine, Fine, Blue, Second and Grey, before being sold, and there was a big premium for the better quality. There was a ready demand in the city for Asa’s skins, bones and rags and he obviously made a lot out of these.
Asa Wass, from Ancestry.comHe passed away aged 66 in on November 10th 1898 at the family home at 11 Morningside Park, a very respectable address. His funeral was held on Monday 14th at 3PM at the Dean Cemetery – not where you neccesarily expect to find a rag-and-bone man buried. Asa left an estate worth about £160,000 in today’s money. All the evidence points to him having done very well out of his trade. Hannah Wass continued to live at Morningside Park and died there in 1911.
Wass family gravestone in the Dean Cemetery in EdinburghOn the death of Asa, his eldest son Thomas Henry takes over the running of the business, although the properties are is in his mother’s name and it remains known as Asa Wass & Son. However the following year the entire business is listed for sale, and the year after a shop that they used in Rose Street is also sold. By the 1915 valuation rolls the business and proprietor of 161 Fountainbridge are Asa Wass & Son Ltd, but with Thomas Henry in charge. He lived in a pleasant house at 6 Merchiston Grove and died in 1922 at an even larger and more pleasant one at 3 Midmar Avenue, leaving an estate worth at least £400k in today’s money. His son was also Thomas Henry, known as Harry, but I am not clear if he took over from his father. There is a photo of the Wass nag and cart in 1925, by which point Asa has not been around for nearly a quarter of a century, his son too has died, but it still trades under their name and reputation.
Wass Horse & Cart in 1925. CC-By-NC Edinburgh CollectedIn 1941, Asa Wass & Son Ltd. occupies 161, 169 and 177 Fountainbridge, telephone number 21544. By this time, they are the only bone merchants listed “in the book” in Edinburgh. The are also listed under rag merchants and metal merchants and have taken out a not insubstantial advert. Business is clearly still prosperous and the local paper and glue industries still have a use for the wares of Asa Wass & Son Ltd. and of course wartime Britain could not get enough scrap metal.
Asa Wass & Son advert in the 1940-41 PO DirectoryThe business ceased trading and was abandoned in the early 1960s, by this time it had traded for longer under the Asa Wass & Son name for longer than either Asa himself was involved. The yard became a haunt for local children to play in and there are some photos from this period here; http://www.edinphoto.org.uk/0_B/0_buildings_-_asa_wass_yard.htm. The whole area was very run down and was swept away in the early 1970s when Scottish & Newcastle relocated the Fountain Brewery there (from over the road) .
Asa and Hannah’s eldest daughter, Elizabeth, moved to Devonshire on her marriage and when she died in 1934 was recorded as living at a house called Dunedin Crediton, one wonders if this was some sort of family joke about the source of the family’s wealth. Her younger brother, John Arthur Wass, was confined to the Crichton Institution for Lunatics in Dumfries in June 1890 around the age of 19, far from home. This is another indication of the family’s wealth; this was the best sort of place money could afford to send somebody with a mental health condition at this time. He was discharged around a year later, but is admitted to the Aberdeen Royal Asylum in 1895. In 1899 he is transferred to the Dundee Asylum, from where he escapes in November of that year.
John Arthur Wass’s admission to Dundee Asylum in 1899. NRS MC2/478John Arthur was a private patient (i.e. he or his family were wealthy enough to pay), and was suffering from moral insanity (“madness consisting in a morbid perversion of the natural feelings, affections, inclinations, temper, habits, moral dispositions, and natural impulses, without any remarkable disorder or defect of the interest or knowing and reasoning faculties, and particularly without any insane illusion or hallucinations“) according to his Notice of Admission to Dundee in 1899. After his escape he emigrates to the US in 1901 (I am not clear if he was ever “recaptured”) and here he settles down, marries and becomes a poultryman, in Monmouth, New Jersey. By 1915 he was living in New York as a landscape gardener and by 1920 was a sculptor. I sincerely hope he found peace here after the torment of his years in Victorian asylums.
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#Lochend #Logan #Restalrig #StMargaret -
SS Morro Castle (1934): el incendio que cambió la seguridad contra incendios en el mar
El 8 de septiembre de 1934 el transatlántico SS Morro Castle sufrió un incendio frente a la costa de Nueva Jersey.
Murieron 137 personas.
Un incendio comenzó en un compartimento de almacenamiento.
El interior del buque estaba lleno de materiales altamente inflamables.
🚀 Descubre más sobre liderazgo técnico en el mar
👉 https://superyachtengineers.com/index.php#links
#SeguridadMarítima #IncendioEnElMar #MorroCastle #SOLAS -
Blue Origin's New Glenn rocket explodes on launchpad
L: https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2026-05-29/blue-origin-s-new-glenn-rocket-explodes-on-floria-launchpad
C: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=48318168
posted on 2026.05.28 at 22:12:40 (c=2, p=4) -
Blue Origin rocket, owned by Jeff Bezos, explodes during test in Florida
L: https://www.theguardian.com/science/2026/may/29/blue-origin-rocket-explodes
C: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=48318450
posted on 2026.05.28 at 22:57:11 (c=1, p=4) -
Blue Origin sounds like a chewable boner pill for billionaire eunuchs.
#JeffBezos #WillLewis #AdamONeal #WashingtonPost #WaPo #Journalism #FreePress #BoycottAmazon #BoycottWholeFoods #EatTheBillionaires #USPol
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Blue Origin’s New Glenn Returns With 48 Amazon Leo Satellites in Tow
Five weeks after a launch anomaly stranded a satellite in the wrong orbit, Blue Origin stands ready to fly its New Glenn rocket again. This time the payload comes from its founder’s other company. The heavy-lift vehicle will carry 48 satellites for Amazon’s Leo broadband constellation on its fourth mission, marking the start of a major partnership that could accelerate one of the most ambitious satellite internet projects in orbit.
https://www.webanditnews.com/b/sWz?utm_source=mastodon&utm_medium=jetpack_social
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Blue moon
Art by Space Raphael
#Art #Drawing #Urban #Feed #Spaceraphael #painting #contemporary #artwork
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Blue Jays’ Charles McAdoo move creates a roster question https://www.rawchili.com/mlb/710963/ #Baseball #BlueJays #BlueJays #MLB #Toronto #TorontoBlueJays #TorontoBlueJays
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Blue Jays’ Charles McAdoo move creates a roster question https://www.rawchili.com/mlb/710963/ #Baseball #BlueJays #BlueJays #MLB #Toronto #TorontoBlueJays #TorontoBlueJays
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Blue Jays continue to be right about Bo Bichette, and this contract problem shows that https://www.rawchili.com/mlb/710889/ #Baseball #BlueJays #BlueJays #MLB #Toronto #TorontoBlueJays #TorontoBlueJays
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Blue Jays continue to be right about Bo Bichette, and this contract problem shows that https://www.rawchili.com/mlb/710889/ #Baseball #BlueJays #BlueJays #MLB #Toronto #TorontoBlueJays #TorontoBlueJays
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Blue Jays Set to Promote Versatile Infield Prospect https://www.rawchili.com/mlb/710817/ #Baseball #BlueJays #BlueJays #BuffaloBisons #CharlesMcAdoo #JeffPassan #mcadoo #MLB #MlbPipeline #TheBlueJays #Toronto #TorontoBlueJays #TorontoBlueJays #TripleABuffalo
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Blue Jays Set to Promote Versatile Infield Prospect https://www.rawchili.com/mlb/710817/ #Baseball #BlueJays #BlueJays #BuffaloBisons #CharlesMcAdoo #JeffPassan #mcadoo #MLB #MlbPipeline #TheBlueJays #Toronto #TorontoBlueJays #TorontoBlueJays #TripleABuffalo
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Blue or red? Whichever your choice, get your kicks by doing today's puzzle! ;)
Click below for "Everton and Liverpool" and have a great Thursday. -
Blue Mountain Lake, Adirondacks, New York, United States.
📷 https://www.earthcam.com/usa/newyork/indianlake/bluemountainlake/?cam=bluemountainlake
🗺️ https://www.openstreetmap.org/?mlat=43.849861&mlon=-74.414528#map=12/43.849861/-74.414528 -
Blue Mountain Lake, Adirondacks, New York, United States.
📷 https://www.earthcam.com/usa/newyork/indianlake/bluemountainlake/?cam=bluemountainlake
🗺️ https://www.openstreetmap.org/?mlat=43.849861&mlon=-74.414528#map=12/43.849861/-74.414528 -
Blue Mountain Lake, Adirondacks, New York, United States.
📷 https://www.earthcam.com/usa/newyork/indianlake/bluemountainlake/?cam=bluemountainlake
🗺️ https://www.openstreetmap.org/?mlat=43.849861&mlon=-74.414528#map=12/43.849861/-74.414528 -
Blue Mountain Lake, Adirondacks, New York, United States.
📷 https://www.earthcam.com/usa/newyork/indianlake/bluemountainlake/?cam=bluemountainlake
🗺️ https://www.openstreetmap.org/?mlat=43.849861&mlon=-74.414528#map=12/43.849861/-74.414528 -
Blue Jays Calling Up Infield Prospect Before Orioles Series https://www.rawchili.com/mlb/710669/ #Baseball #BlueJays #BlueJays #MLB #Toronto #TorontoBlueJays #TorontoBlueJays
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Blue Jays Calling Up Infield Prospect Before Orioles Series https://www.rawchili.com/mlb/710669/ #Baseball #BlueJays #BlueJays #MLB #Toronto #TorontoBlueJays #TorontoBlueJays
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Blue Jays take advantage of Marlins baserunning mistakes https://www.rawchili.com/mlb/710568/ #Baseball #Marlins #Miami #MiamiMarlins #MiamiMarlins #MLB
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Blue Jays take advantage of Marlins baserunning mistakes https://www.rawchili.com/mlb/710568/ #Baseball #Marlins #Miami #MiamiMarlins #MiamiMarlins #MLB
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Blue Origin gets ready to launch Amazon Leo satellites
Five weeks after experiencing its first launch failure, Kent, Wash.-based Blue Origin is getting ready to put its heavy-lift New Glenn rocket back in service to launch 48 satellites into low Earth orbit for the growing Amazon Leo constellation.The
https://cosmiclog.com/2026/05/27/blue-origin-gets-ready-to-launch-amazon-leo-satellites/
#GeekWire #Amazon #AmazonLeo #BlueOrigin #Broadband #NewGlenn #ProjectKuiper #Satellites #Space -
Blue Origin gets ready to launch Amazon Leo satellites
Five weeks after experiencing its first launch failure, Kent, Wash.-based Blue Origin is getting ready to put its heavy-lift New Glenn rocket back in service to launch 48 satellites into low Earth orbit for the growing Amazon Leo constellation.The
https://cosmiclog.com/2026/05/27/blue-origin-gets-ready-to-launch-amazon-leo-satellites/
#GeekWire #Amazon #AmazonLeo #BlueOrigin #Broadband #NewGlenn #ProjectKuiper #Satellites #Space