#vol62issue6 — Public Fediverse posts

Rob Kardashian Sells Timothée Chalamet Bag Of Oregano

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/rob-kardashian-sells-timothee-chalamet-bag-of-oregano/

Authorities Unearth Mass Grave Of Trump Advisors

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/authorities-unearth-mass-grave-of-trump-advisors/

Trump Shares Recipe For Famous ‘Better Than Pedophilia’ Cake

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/trump-shares-recipe-for-famous-better-than-pedophilia-cake/

Customer Waits Until Barista Watching To Disarm Gunman

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/customer-waits-until-barista-watching-to-disarm-gunman/

RFK Jr. Sucks Measles Vaccine Out Of Infant

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/rfk-jr-sucks-measles-vaccine-out-of-infant/

Foreign Exchange Student Doesn’t Realize He’s Being Bullied

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/foreign-exchange-student-doesnt-realize-hes-being-bullied/

Finnish Ski Jumping Team Caught Tampering With Earth’s Gravitational Field

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/finnish-ski-jumping-team-caught-tampering-with-earths-gravitational-field/

‘I Don’t Know How And It’s Not My Event’: Simone Biles On Her Decision Not To Snowboard At The Winter Olympics

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/i-dont-know-how-and-its-not-my-event-simone-biles-on-her-decision-not-to-snowboard-at-the-winter-olympics/

Kid Rock Sells Entire Music Catalog For Extra-Large Bucket Of Cheese Balls

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/kid-rock-sells-entire-music-catalog-for-extra-large-bucket-of-cheese-balls/

Pitchers And Catchers Report To Spring Training Dance

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/pitchers-and-catchers-report-to-spring-training-dance/

U.S. Gains Almost No Jobs In 2025

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/u-s-gains-almost-no-jobs-in-2025/

Non-Biathlon Skier Would Also Like Gun

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/non-biathlon-skier-would-also-like-gun/

Terrified Conservatives Lose Ability To Speak English After Exposure To Bad Bunny Performance (‘¡Dios Mío!’ Cry Millions Of Panicking Republicans)

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/terrified-conservatives-lose-ability-to-speak-english-after-exposure-to-bad-bunny-performance-dios-mio-cry-millions-of-panicking-republicans/

Football-Themed Napkins At Super Bowl Party Too Nonabsorbent, Painful To Use On Mouth

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/football-themed-napkins-at-super-bowl-party-too-nonabsorbent-painful-to-use-on-mouth/

Guy At Super Bowl Party Brought Football For Some Reason

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/guy-at-super-bowl-party-brought-football-for-some-reason/