#vol62issue28 — Public Fediverse posts

Nephew Whacking The Hell Out Of Tree Trunk With Stick

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/nephew-whacking-the-hell-out-of-tree-trunk-with-stick/

Never-Ending Pasta Pass Returns To Olive Garden

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/never-ending-pasta-pass-returns-to-olive-garden/

Man Resents Home Run For Making Him Pause Eating, Clap

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/man-resents-home-run-for-making-him-pause-eating-clap/

Argentina Recognizes Goldfish As Sentient Beings With Rights

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/argentina-recognizes-goldfish-as-sentient-beings-with-rights/

AI: Myth Vs. Fact

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/ai-myth-vs-fact/

Female Supreme Court Justices Formally Request Protection From Brett Kavanaugh

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/female-supreme-court-justices-formally-request-protection-from-brett-kavanaugh/

What To Know About Cyclosporiasis

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/what-to-know-about-cyclosporiasis/

Public Begs Mitch McConnell To Stop Releasing Photos Of Himself

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/public-begs-mitch-mcconnell-to-stop-releasing-photos-of-himself/

Madonna Accused Of Pandering With New Song About Trying To Find Available Spot In Fire Island Share House

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/madonna-accused-of-pandering-with-new-song-about-trying-to-find-available-spot-in-fire-island-share-house/

Barack Obama Pretends To Be Canadian While Traveling Abroad

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/barack-obama-pretends-to-be-canadian-while-traveling-abroad/

Study Finds Gen Z Telepaths Lack Attention Span To Read Even Single Mind

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/study-finds-gen-z-telepaths-lack-attention-span-to-read-even-single-mind/

Guy Violently Coughing On Bus Better Just Have Throat Cancer

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/guy-violently-coughing-on-bus-better-just-have-throat-cancer/

Lindsey Graham’s Sister To Serve Remainder Of Term

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/lindsey-grahams-sister-to-serve-remainder-of-term/

Geologist Reunited With Beloved Rock He Studied 20 Years Ago

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/geologist-reunited-with-beloved-rock-he-studied-20-years-ago/

Kash Patel Calls For Public’s Help Using Computer

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/kash-patel-calls-for-publics-help-using-computer/

Sara Lee CEO Uploads Consciousness Into Loaf Of Bread

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/sara-lee-farm-ceo-uploads-consciousness-into-loaf-of-bread/

Paramedics Praised For Being Too Late To Save Lindsey Graham

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/paramedics-praised-for-being-too-late-to-save-lindsey-graham/

Boat Safety Tips

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/boat-safety-tips/