#grief — Public Fediverse posts

A Question of Conscience

Are you dead, my guide?
Or have you simply sunk into the muck
that creeps upon these inner corridors,
drowning in helpless demise?

The glass is obscured and the
bright moon has faded into the mist
while I, like a blind hand groping,
stand trembling in this night,

waiting.

October 28, 1988, Curridabat, Costa Rica

Part of the continuing Respectful American series, a selection of writings from my travel journals from Central America in 1988

A Question of Conscience

Are you dead, my guide?
Or have you simply sunk into the muck
that creeps upon these inner corridors,
drowning in helpless demise?

The glass is obscured and the
bright moon has faded into the mist
while I, like a blind hand groping,
stand trembling in this night,

waiting.

October 28, 1988, Curridabat, Costa Rica

Part of the continuing Respectful American series, a selection of writings from my travel journals from Central America in 1988

AI 'ghosts' comfort the grieving — even when the bots get the facts wrong

If this matters to you, share it.

https://1ban.news/ai-ghosts-grief-mourners/

#1ban #ghosts #grief #mourners #science #research

AI 'ghosts' comfort the grieving — even when the bots get the facts wrong

If this matters to you, share it.

https://1ban.news/ai-ghosts-grief-mourners/

#1ban #ghosts #grief #mourners #science #research

Today should be my nephew's 7th birthday.

Instead he will be forever 4 years old.

Please, make sure you know what to do in case of a fire. Know which adult is going for which child. Practice your escape routes.

Does the plan change if you have young grandkids staying over?

#FireSafety #Fire #Grief #Safety

Today should be my nephew's 7th birthday.

Instead he will be forever 4 years old.

Please, make sure you know what to do in case of a fire. Know which adult is going for which child. Practice your escape routes.

Does the plan change if you have young grandkids staying over?

#FireSafety #Fire #Grief #Safety

Where the Wildflowers Grow: A Novel

"Wildflowers grow in the most unlikely of places…"

Sale: $18.99 to $2

by Terah Shelton Harris
4.4/5 (2,613 Reviews)

#books #booksky #fiction #literature #novel #women #readers #wildflowers #survival #redemption #healing #love #family #grief #trauma #southern

Where the Wildflowers Grow: A ...

Where the Wildflowers Grow: A Novel

"Wildflowers grow in the most unlikely of places…"

Sale: $18.99 to $2

by Terah Shelton Harris
4.4/5 (2,613 Reviews)

#books #booksky #fiction #literature #novel #women #readers #wildflowers #survival #redemption #healing #love #family #grief #trauma #southern

Where the Wildflowers Grow: A ...

Abscond: A Short Story

"If there’s such a thing as destiny, is there such a thing as changing it?"

Sale: $1.99 to $0.99

by Abraham Verghese
Rating: 4.3/5 (27,072 Reviews)

#books #booksky #historical #fiction #shortstory #kindle #literature #family #grief #destiny

Abscond: A Short Story

Abscond: A Short Story

"If there’s such a thing as destiny, is there such a thing as changing it?"

Sale: $1.99 to $0.99

by Abraham Verghese
Rating: 4.3/5 (27,072 Reviews)

#books #booksky #historical #fiction #shortstory #kindle #literature #family #grief #destiny

Abscond: A Short Story

Just a Rant on Depression~

F*ck man I’m telling you; depression is Such a stone cold bitch.
I’ll be watching TV and all of the sudden I get this dark yet soft,, malicious voice that starts whispering  these horrible things.
It takes my biggest insecurities and fears and exploits them…
One of the worst symptoms for me is just this dark, hopeless physically heavy ,;feeling that makes you not  want to get out of bed…Gravity feels like its 3x stronger…  you feel so empty that you want tnt to cur yourself…

.THAT is what kills me. Destroys you from the inside out
I normally don’t have this that bad when I’m on a good, consistent regimen  of medications as well as having a good support system. …
You can’t do it alone.
Only issue is that A) starting a new psych med is like being a lab rat. You never know what you’re gonna get. B) like everything in life, you gain a tolerance  and you have to start a whole new medication …
I knew that I needed to get help when I literally couldn’t out of bed without cutting myself.
I carved “DIE” into my thigh.
THAT IS NOT NORMAL BEHAVIOR

So my primary doctor  started me off with Lexapro when I was 18 I think and it changed my life.
After a week or so, that heavy boulder that has been sitting on my chest just went away.
I felt 100x lighter  and the voices stopped being so loud and my panic attacks (that I have been plagued with stopped too!
It was like my “happy” switch was finally turned on
And I’ve stayed on at least 2 psych meds ever since then.

Not trying to push medication, but there absolutely are people who genuinely need them who can’t get better on their own and are close to su!cide.
THEN there’s all the other people who abuse the system and are just trying to “be edgy”.
I do NOT advocate for medication for just anybody/everybody.  Only those who genuinely can’t get out of bed even if there was a damn fire because of depression.
If your house goes from clean and adorable to a big mess because your mind keeps giving you ideas on suic!de.
If you’re chemically unbalanced  mind ever ruins events that are supposed to be fun..
You might have Major Depressive Disorder.

But Everybody is different and heals in there own way.
I DO however recommend/advocate  for therapy. Think everyone should see a therapist at least once a week.
It is just SO freeing- and  helps keep your mind  straigh.

But anyways I’m probably just talking to myself  I doubt anyone reads this

But you know what? FUCK that shit.
My writings at least  help me.
If you are reading this, 
Please don’t ever stop fighting!
And please never lose your soul…
It’s  hard af to get back. ❤️‍啕
Remember that as long as there’s still air in your lungs,  you still have time to change.

❣️

Rate this:

Free download codes:

Ultimate Rick Jones - The Senseless Waste of a Beautiful Thing

"A toe tapper about memory and the weird algebra of grief."

https://getmusic.fm/l/GTc1zX

#acoustic #piano #americana #country #saxophone #50s #grief #doowop #musclecars #music

Free download codes:

Ultimate Rick Jones - The Senseless Waste of a Beautiful Thing

"A toe tapper about memory and the weird algebra of grief."

https://getmusic.fm/l/GTc1zX

#acoustic #piano #americana #country #saxophone #50s #grief #doowop #musclecars #music

I just realised that Nephew is no longer packing all his things into bags as he goes to bed. For a while he did this in case there was a fire so that he could get all his stuff out the house easier.

I am hoping the fact that he has stopped means that he is healing from what he went through.

He is such an amazing young man. I am so damned proud of him and wish his dad could see him now.

#grief #GriefAndHealing

Bloomberg: Beijing edict leaves Chinese with virtual lovers heartbroken. “Alongside Beijing-based ByteDance, major Chinese technology companies like Alibaba Group Holding Ltd are also disabling functionality that lets users customise artificial intelligence (AI) companions, effective July 15…. The sudden shutdown of the AI personas leaves users facing the loss of relationships that they’d […]

Bloomberg: Beijing edict leaves Chinese with virtual lovers heartbroken. “Alongside Beijing-based ByteDance, major Chinese technology companies like Alibaba Group Holding Ltd are also disabling functionality that lets users customise artificial intelligence (AI) companions, effective July 15…. The sudden shutdown of the AI personas leaves users facing the loss of relationships that they’d […]

“Some - not all but some - situations elicit grief alongside feelings of inspiration or uplift. Try to ignore your feelings about one, then you risk avoiding or distorting the other.”
My piece about #grief as a space of complexity. And why that is a good thing.
https://dangerousmeredith.substack.com/p/grief-as-a-complex-space

“Some - not all but some - situations elicit grief alongside feelings of inspiration or uplift. Try to ignore your feelings about one, then you risk avoiding or distorting the other.”
My piece about #grief as a space of complexity. And why that is a good thing.
https://dangerousmeredith.substack.com/p/grief-as-a-complex-space

Almost $2,000 worth of trees stolen from Dubbo memorial garden https://www.allforgardening.com/1875056/almost-2000-worth-of-trees-stolen-from-dubbo-memorial-garden/ #charity #garden #grief #memorial #theft

Almost $2,000 worth of trees stolen from Dubbo memorial garden https://www.allforgardening.com/1875056/almost-2000-worth-of-trees-stolen-from-dubbo-memorial-garden/ #charity #garden #grief #memorial #theft

Maybe It’s Fate

"She made a promise she’ll change her life to keep"

Sale: $4.99 to $2.49

by Heidi McLaughlin

Rating: 4.5/5 (8,056 Reviews)

#books #booksky #fiction #friendship #romance #smalltown #grief #family #love #kindle

Maybe It’s Fate

Maybe It’s Fate

"She made a promise she’ll change her life to keep"

Sale: $4.99 to $2.49

by Heidi McLaughlin

Rating: 4.5/5 (8,056 Reviews)

#books #booksky #fiction #friendship #romance #smalltown #grief #family #love #kindle

Maybe It’s Fate

I created jewelry while sitting with mom
for 5 years
as I was taking care of her. After she passed I tried to create pieces, but sitting down and touching the wires just reminded me she was no longer here.
Honoring her memory and healing that griefy place in my heart by taking small steps.
*Goal this week is to make one pair of fun earrings by Sunday the 19 th by 8 pm.

Send some love my way.
This is really hard.

❤️Venetia

📿
#handmadejewelry #grief #wirejewelry #ShopHandMade #moonsirens

I recently listened to Gina's interview on the Conversations segment with Sarah Kanowski, which aired on 2 July 2026. A few moments stuck with me so much that I've transcribed them myself below - just those few parts, not the whole interview.

https://medium.com/@purecaffeine/gina-chick-to-survive-you-have-to-die-dd1921015508

#Grief #Death #Wisdom #Nature #Rewilding #AloneAustralia

I recently listened to Gina's interview on the Conversations segment with Sarah Kanowski, which aired on 2 July 2026. A few moments stuck with me so much that I've transcribed them myself below - just those few parts, not the whole interview.

https://medium.com/@purecaffeine/gina-chick-to-survive-you-have-to-die-dd1921015508

#Grief #Death #Wisdom #Nature #Rewilding #AloneAustralia

All the grief and pain 😢

https://cynnisblog.wordpress.com/2026/07/13/all-the-grief-and-pain-%f0%9f%98%a2/

All the grief and pain 😢

https://cynnisblog.wordpress.com/2026/07/13/all-the-grief-and-pain-%f0%9f%98%a2/

🗣️ Malcolm Duncan: ”The Stability of the Kingdom”.

⛪️ Kensington Temple, London, UK. 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🇬🇧

🎦 YouTube.com/live/YN1GwQGJm3Y

🎦 YouTube.com/KensingtonTempleKT

🎦 www.KT.org/live

#KTLCC #KensingtonTemple #KTTV

#Church #Kyrka #ChurchService #Gudstjänst #Pentecostal #Charismatic #GriefShare #Grief #Sorrow

KT Tv - 11am - Malcolm Duncan ...

🗣️ Malcolm Duncan: ”The Stability of the Kingdom”.

⛪️ Kensington Temple, Notting Hill, London, UK. 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🇬🇧

🎦 YouTube.com/live/U9xV7vNetDE

🎦 YouTube.com/KensingtonTempleKT

🎦 www.KT.org/live

#KTLCC #KensingtonTemple #KTTV
#Church #Kyrka #ChurchService #Gudstjänst #Pentecostal #Charismatic #Grief #Sorrow

KT Tv - 9am - Malcolm Duncan -...

The Stain (Rita Santos)

https://sevenstorypublishing.com/2026/07/11/the-stain-rita-santos/

The Stain (Rita Santos)

https://sevenstorypublishing.com/2026/07/11/the-stain-rita-santos/

When sudden loss fractures your world, where do you find your grip? Learn how a Christian man faces grief with practical action and unshakable biblical hope. ⚓️🙏 Read more: [Link] #Grief #ChristianMen #HopeInChrist

https://bdking71.wordpress.com/2026/07/11/finding-unshakable-hope-when-loss-leaves-you-helpless/

When sudden loss fractures your world, where do you find your grip? Learn how a Christian man faces grief with practical action and unshakable biblical hope. ⚓️🙏 Read more: [Link] #Grief #ChristianMen #HopeInChrist

https://bdking71.wordpress.com/2026/07/11/finding-unshakable-hope-when-loss-leaves-you-helpless/

2018: The Year That Broke Me, But Didn’t End Me

“Some years don’t simply pass through our lives. They reshape them.”

There are years that become bookmarks in our lives.

Not because something wonderful happened, but because they divided life into two parts: before and after.

For me, that year was 2018.

It began with betrayal.

I was scammed. It wasn’t just money that disappeared. Trust disappeared with it. I questioned my judgment, replayed every conversation, and wondered how I had missed the signs. The financial loss hurt, but the feeling of being deceived hurt even more.

I told myself things would get better.

Then came the middle of the year.

An opportunity to relocate to Ireland slipped away. I had imagined a different future, a new beginning, a fresh chapter. I had already started building that dream in my mind, only to watch it quietly disappear.

“Sometimes God closes the door we’ve been knocking on because He sees the road we cannot.”

I convinced myself that life was simply asking me to be patient.

Then September arrived.

My father passed away.

No amount of preparation teaches you how to say goodbye to someone whose voice has been part of your life since the day you were born.

That loss didn’t just break my heart.

It changed the sound of the world.

People often ask how I got through that year.

The truth is…

I don’t know.

I became depressed, although I didn’t recognize it at the time.

Not the kind that keeps you from getting out of bed.

The quieter kind.

The invisible kind.

Every morning I woke up, went to work, smiled when necessary, attended meetings, finished my tasks, and acted as though everything was normal.

No one would have guessed that inside, I felt completely empty.

After work, I followed the same routine.

I would buy alcohol.

Go back to my room.

Turn off the lights.

Sit in the darkness.

I didn’t want music.

I didn’t want television.

I didn’t want conversations.

I didn’t want anyone asking if I was okay because I didn’t even know how to answer that question.

The silence became my companion.

Sometimes I wasn’t even crying.

I was simply…existing.

Looking back now, I realize I wasn’t living.

I was surviving.

“The deepest battles are often fought in complete silence, where no applause is heard and no audience exists.”

One day at a time.

One breath at a time.

One morning after another.

People often imagine survival as something heroic.

It isn’t.

Sometimes survival looks like brushing your teeth.

Showing up at work.

Paying your bills.

Answering “I’m fine” when you’re anything but.

Sometimes survival is simply refusing to disappear.

I wish I could tell you there was one moment when everything changed.

There wasn’t.

Healing didn’t arrive like sunrise.

It arrived like dawn through heavy fog, so slowly that I almost didn’t notice it.

There were prayers whispered when I had no words left.

There were ordinary mornings when getting dressed felt like an achievement.

There were small moments when hope quietly returned without asking permission.

“Healing rarely announces its arrival. It quietly settles into the spaces where pain once lived.”

Looking back, I don’t think I survived because I was strong.

I survived because, even when I couldn’t see tomorrow, God could.

He carried me through days I don’t even remember surviving.

Today, when I look back at 2018, I no longer see only the year that broke me.

I see the year that taught me something I never wanted to learn.

That the human heart can carry unbearable grief and still keep beating.

That dreams may die, but hope doesn’t have to.

That losing people you love changes you forever, but it doesn’t have to define the rest of your story.

If you are reading this while sitting in your own dark room, wondering if anyone understands…

I do.

And even if today feels impossibly heavy, I hope you keep going.

One ordinary day, you’ll look back and realize that the person who thought she wouldn’t make it…

did.

Not because life became easy.

But because she never stopped choosing tomorrow, even when tomorrow was the hardest choice she had to make.

Looking back now, I don’t remember 2018 as the year I lost everything.

I remember it as the year I discovered that faith can keep a heart alive long after hope has grown quiet.

And for that, I thank God.

“The chapters that almost broke us often become the pages that inspire someone else to keep going. Your darkest room is not your final destination. Sometimes it is where God quietly rebuilds your strength before opening the next door.”

💖💖💖

2018: The Year That Broke Me, But Didn’t End Me

“Some years don’t simply pass through our lives. They reshape them.”

There are years that become bookmarks in our lives.

Not because something wonderful happened, but because they divided life into two parts: before and after.

For me, that year was 2018.

It began with betrayal.

I was scammed. It wasn’t just money that disappeared. Trust disappeared with it. I questioned my judgment, replayed every conversation, and wondered how I had missed the signs. The financial loss hurt, but the feeling of being deceived hurt even more.

I told myself things would get better.

Then came the middle of the year.

An opportunity to relocate to Ireland slipped away. I had imagined a different future, a new beginning, a fresh chapter. I had already started building that dream in my mind, only to watch it quietly disappear.

“Sometimes God closes the door we’ve been knocking on because He sees the road we cannot.”

I convinced myself that life was simply asking me to be patient.

Then September arrived.

My father passed away.

No amount of preparation teaches you how to say goodbye to someone whose voice has been part of your life since the day you were born.

That loss didn’t just break my heart.

It changed the sound of the world.

People often ask how I got through that year.

The truth is…

I don’t know.

I became depressed, although I didn’t recognize it at the time.

Not the kind that keeps you from getting out of bed.

The quieter kind.

The invisible kind.

Every morning I woke up, went to work, smiled when necessary, attended meetings, finished my tasks, and acted as though everything was normal.

No one would have guessed that inside, I felt completely empty.

After work, I followed the same routine.

I would buy alcohol.

Go back to my room.

Turn off the lights.

Sit in the darkness.

I didn’t want music.

I didn’t want television.

I didn’t want conversations.

I didn’t want anyone asking if I was okay because I didn’t even know how to answer that question.

The silence became my companion.

Sometimes I wasn’t even crying.

I was simply…existing.

Looking back now, I realize I wasn’t living.

I was surviving.

“The deepest battles are often fought in complete silence, where no applause is heard and no audience exists.”

One day at a time.

One breath at a time.

One morning after another.

People often imagine survival as something heroic.

It isn’t.

Sometimes survival looks like brushing your teeth.

Showing up at work.

Paying your bills.

Answering “I’m fine” when you’re anything but.

Sometimes survival is simply refusing to disappear.

I wish I could tell you there was one moment when everything changed.

There wasn’t.

Healing didn’t arrive like sunrise.

It arrived like dawn through heavy fog, so slowly that I almost didn’t notice it.

There were prayers whispered when I had no words left.

There were ordinary mornings when getting dressed felt like an achievement.

There were small moments when hope quietly returned without asking permission.

“Healing rarely announces its arrival. It quietly settles into the spaces where pain once lived.”

Looking back, I don’t think I survived because I was strong.

I survived because, even when I couldn’t see tomorrow, God could.

He carried me through days I don’t even remember surviving.

Today, when I look back at 2018, I no longer see only the year that broke me.

I see the year that taught me something I never wanted to learn.

That the human heart can carry unbearable grief and still keep beating.

That dreams may die, but hope doesn’t have to.

That losing people you love changes you forever, but it doesn’t have to define the rest of your story.

If you are reading this while sitting in your own dark room, wondering if anyone understands…

I do.

And even if today feels impossibly heavy, I hope you keep going.

One ordinary day, you’ll look back and realize that the person who thought she wouldn’t make it…

did.

Not because life became easy.

But because she never stopped choosing tomorrow, even when tomorrow was the hardest choice she had to make.

Looking back now, I don’t remember 2018 as the year I lost everything.

I remember it as the year I discovered that faith can keep a heart alive long after hope has grown quiet.

And for that, I thank God.

“The chapters that almost broke us often become the pages that inspire someone else to keep going. Your darkest room is not your final destination. Sometimes it is where God quietly rebuilds your strength before opening the next door.”

💖💖💖

2018: The Year That Broke Me, But Didn’t End Me

“Some years don’t simply pass through our lives. They reshape them.”

There are years that become bookmarks in our lives.

Not because something wonderful happened, but because they divided life into two parts: before and after.

For me, that year was 2018.

It began with betrayal.

I was scammed. It wasn’t just money that disappeared. Trust disappeared with it. I questioned my judgment, replayed every conversation, and wondered how I had missed the signs. The financial loss hurt, but the feeling of being deceived hurt even more.

I told myself things would get better.

Then came the middle of the year.

An opportunity to relocate to Ireland slipped away. I had imagined a different future, a new beginning, a fresh chapter. I had already started building that dream in my mind, only to watch it quietly disappear.

“Sometimes God closes the door we’ve been knocking on because He sees the road we cannot.”

I convinced myself that life was simply asking me to be patient.

Then September arrived.

My father passed away.

No amount of preparation teaches you how to say goodbye to someone whose voice has been part of your life since the day you were born.

That loss didn’t just break my heart.

It changed the sound of the world.

People often ask how I got through that year.

The truth is…

I don’t know.

I became depressed, although I didn’t recognize it at the time.

Not the kind that keeps you from getting out of bed.

The quieter kind.

The invisible kind.

Every morning I woke up, went to work, smiled when necessary, attended meetings, finished my tasks, and acted as though everything was normal.

No one would have guessed that inside, I felt completely empty.

After work, I followed the same routine.

I would buy alcohol.

Go back to my room.

Turn off the lights.

Sit in the darkness.

I didn’t want music.

I didn’t want television.

I didn’t want conversations.

I didn’t want anyone asking if I was okay because I didn’t even know how to answer that question.

The silence became my companion.

Sometimes I wasn’t even crying.

I was simply…existing.

Looking back now, I realize I wasn’t living.

I was surviving.

“The deepest battles are often fought in complete silence, where no applause is heard and no audience exists.”

One day at a time.

One breath at a time.

One morning after another.

People often imagine survival as something heroic.

It isn’t.

Sometimes survival looks like brushing your teeth.

Showing up at work.

Paying your bills.

Answering “I’m fine” when you’re anything but.

Sometimes survival is simply refusing to disappear.

I wish I could tell you there was one moment when everything changed.

There wasn’t.

Healing didn’t arrive like sunrise.

It arrived like dawn through heavy fog, so slowly that I almost didn’t notice it.

There were prayers whispered when I had no words left.

There were ordinary mornings when getting dressed felt like an achievement.

There were small moments when hope quietly returned without asking permission.

“Healing rarely announces its arrival. It quietly settles into the spaces where pain once lived.”

Looking back, I don’t think I survived because I was strong.

I survived because, even when I couldn’t see tomorrow, God could.

He carried me through days I don’t even remember surviving.

Today, when I look back at 2018, I no longer see only the year that broke me.

I see the year that taught me something I never wanted to learn.

That the human heart can carry unbearable grief and still keep beating.

That dreams may die, but hope doesn’t have to.

That losing people you love changes you forever, but it doesn’t have to define the rest of your story.

If you are reading this while sitting in your own dark room, wondering if anyone understands…

I do.

And even if today feels impossibly heavy, I hope you keep going.

One ordinary day, you’ll look back and realize that the person who thought she wouldn’t make it…

did.

Not because life became easy.

But because she never stopped choosing tomorrow, even when tomorrow was the hardest choice she had to make.

Looking back now, I don’t remember 2018 as the year I lost everything.

I remember it as the year I discovered that faith can keep a heart alive long after hope has grown quiet.

And for that, I thank God.

“The chapters that almost broke us often become the pages that inspire someone else to keep going. Your darkest room is not your final destination. Sometimes it is where God quietly rebuilds your strength before opening the next door.”

💖💖💖

2018: The Year That Broke Me, But Didn’t End Me

“Some years don’t simply pass through our lives. They reshape them.”

There are years that become bookmarks in our lives.

Not because something wonderful happened, but because they divided life into two parts: before and after.

For me, that year was 2018.

It began with betrayal.

I was scammed. It wasn’t just money that disappeared. Trust disappeared with it. I questioned my judgment, replayed every conversation, and wondered how I had missed the signs. The financial loss hurt, but the feeling of being deceived hurt even more.

I told myself things would get better.

Then came the middle of the year.

An opportunity to relocate to Ireland slipped away. I had imagined a different future, a new beginning, a fresh chapter. I had already started building that dream in my mind, only to watch it quietly disappear.

“Sometimes God closes the door we’ve been knocking on because He sees the road we cannot.”

I convinced myself that life was simply asking me to be patient.

Then September arrived.

My father passed away.

No amount of preparation teaches you how to say goodbye to someone whose voice has been part of your life since the day you were born.

That loss didn’t just break my heart.

It changed the sound of the world.

People often ask how I got through that year.

The truth is…

I don’t know.

I became depressed, although I didn’t recognize it at the time.

Not the kind that keeps you from getting out of bed.

The quieter kind.

The invisible kind.

Every morning I woke up, went to work, smiled when necessary, attended meetings, finished my tasks, and acted as though everything was normal.

No one would have guessed that inside, I felt completely empty.

After work, I followed the same routine.

I would buy alcohol.

Go back to my room.

Turn off the lights.

Sit in the darkness.

I didn’t want music.

I didn’t want television.

I didn’t want conversations.

I didn’t want anyone asking if I was okay because I didn’t even know how to answer that question.

The silence became my companion.

Sometimes I wasn’t even crying.

I was simply…existing.

Looking back now, I realize I wasn’t living.

I was surviving.

“The deepest battles are often fought in complete silence, where no applause is heard and no audience exists.”

One day at a time.

One breath at a time.

One morning after another.

People often imagine survival as something heroic.

It isn’t.

Sometimes survival looks like brushing your teeth.

Showing up at work.

Paying your bills.

Answering “I’m fine” when you’re anything but.

Sometimes survival is simply refusing to disappear.

I wish I could tell you there was one moment when everything changed.

There wasn’t.

Healing didn’t arrive like sunrise.

It arrived like dawn through heavy fog, so slowly that I almost didn’t notice it.

There were prayers whispered when I had no words left.

There were ordinary mornings when getting dressed felt like an achievement.

There were small moments when hope quietly returned without asking permission.

“Healing rarely announces its arrival. It quietly settles into the spaces where pain once lived.”

Looking back, I don’t think I survived because I was strong.

I survived because, even when I couldn’t see tomorrow, God could.

He carried me through days I don’t even remember surviving.

Today, when I look back at 2018, I no longer see only the year that broke me.

I see the year that taught me something I never wanted to learn.

That the human heart can carry unbearable grief and still keep beating.

That dreams may die, but hope doesn’t have to.

That losing people you love changes you forever, but it doesn’t have to define the rest of your story.

If you are reading this while sitting in your own dark room, wondering if anyone understands…

I do.

And even if today feels impossibly heavy, I hope you keep going.

One ordinary day, you’ll look back and realize that the person who thought she wouldn’t make it…

did.

Not because life became easy.

But because she never stopped choosing tomorrow, even when tomorrow was the hardest choice she had to make.

Looking back now, I don’t remember 2018 as the year I lost everything.

I remember it as the year I discovered that faith can keep a heart alive long after hope has grown quiet.

And for that, I thank God.

“The chapters that almost broke us often become the pages that inspire someone else to keep going. Your darkest room is not your final destination. Sometimes it is where God quietly rebuilds your strength before opening the next door.”

💖💖💖

2018: The Year That Broke Me, But Didn’t End Me

“Some years don’t simply pass through our lives. They reshape them.”

There are years that become bookmarks in our lives.

Not because something wonderful happened, but because they divided life into two parts: before and after.

For me, that year was 2018.

It began with betrayal.

I was scammed. It wasn’t just money that disappeared. Trust disappeared with it. I questioned my judgment, replayed every conversation, and wondered how I had missed the signs. The financial loss hurt, but the feeling of being deceived hurt even more.

I told myself things would get better.

Then came the middle of the year.

An opportunity to relocate to Ireland slipped away. I had imagined a different future, a new beginning, a fresh chapter. I had already started building that dream in my mind, only to watch it quietly disappear.

“Sometimes God closes the door we’ve been knocking on because He sees the road we cannot.”

I convinced myself that life was simply asking me to be patient.

Then September arrived.

My father passed away.

No amount of preparation teaches you how to say goodbye to someone whose voice has been part of your life since the day you were born.

That loss didn’t just break my heart.

It changed the sound of the world.

People often ask how I got through that year.

The truth is…

I don’t know.

I became depressed, although I didn’t recognize it at the time.

Not the kind that keeps you from getting out of bed.

The quieter kind.

The invisible kind.

Every morning I woke up, went to work, smiled when necessary, attended meetings, finished my tasks, and acted as though everything was normal.

No one would have guessed that inside, I felt completely empty.

After work, I followed the same routine.

I would buy alcohol.

Go back to my room.

Turn off the lights.

Sit in the darkness.

I didn’t want music.

I didn’t want television.

I didn’t want conversations.

I didn’t want anyone asking if I was okay because I didn’t even know how to answer that question.

The silence became my companion.

Sometimes I wasn’t even crying.

I was simply…existing.

Looking back now, I realize I wasn’t living.

I was surviving.

“The deepest battles are often fought in complete silence, where no applause is heard and no audience exists.”

One day at a time.

One breath at a time.

One morning after another.

People often imagine survival as something heroic.

It isn’t.

Sometimes survival looks like brushing your teeth.

Showing up at work.

Paying your bills.

Answering “I’m fine” when you’re anything but.

Sometimes survival is simply refusing to disappear.

I wish I could tell you there was one moment when everything changed.

There wasn’t.

Healing didn’t arrive like sunrise.

It arrived like dawn through heavy fog, so slowly that I almost didn’t notice it.

There were prayers whispered when I had no words left.

There were ordinary mornings when getting dressed felt like an achievement.

There were small moments when hope quietly returned without asking permission.

“Healing rarely announces its arrival. It quietly settles into the spaces where pain once lived.”

Looking back, I don’t think I survived because I was strong.

I survived because, even when I couldn’t see tomorrow, God could.

He carried me through days I don’t even remember surviving.

Today, when I look back at 2018, I no longer see only the year that broke me.

I see the year that taught me something I never wanted to learn.

That the human heart can carry unbearable grief and still keep beating.

That dreams may die, but hope doesn’t have to.

That losing people you love changes you forever, but it doesn’t have to define the rest of your story.

If you are reading this while sitting in your own dark room, wondering if anyone understands…

I do.

And even if today feels impossibly heavy, I hope you keep going.

One ordinary day, you’ll look back and realize that the person who thought she wouldn’t make it…

did.

Not because life became easy.

But because she never stopped choosing tomorrow, even when tomorrow was the hardest choice she had to make.

Looking back now, I don’t remember 2018 as the year I lost everything.

I remember it as the year I discovered that faith can keep a heart alive long after hope has grown quiet.

And for that, I thank God.

“The chapters that almost broke us often become the pages that inspire someone else to keep going. Your darkest room is not your final destination. Sometimes it is where God quietly rebuilds your strength before opening the next door.”

💖💖💖

the “ #American #musical is an unsuspecting, squeaky-clean surface” that “cleverly holds back #grief … a skin, a covering, a hide for deeper, darker, bigger feelings.” daily.jstor.org/the-hidden-g...

The Hidden Grief of American M...

the “ #American #musical is an unsuspecting, squeaky-clean surface” that “cleverly holds back #grief … a skin, a covering, a hide for deeper, darker, bigger feelings.” daily.jstor.org/the-hidden-g...

The Hidden Grief of American M...

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Rating: 4.5/5 (7,934 Reviews)

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Maybe It’s Fate