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Sky Dancing @[email protected] · 2026-04-11 · 17:08 UTC

Lazy Caturday Reads: Scandals Galore!

Good Afternoon!!

By Mary Cassatt, 1883-84

The negotiations about the proposed cease fire in the Iran war are expected to begin soon, but meanwhile the news in the U.S. is suddenly filled with scandalous stories.

Yesterday, Dakinikat wrote about Melania Trump’s mysterious announcement to the White House press; I have a bit more context to add to that. Then last night the news about serious accusations of sexual misconduct by Eric Swalwell broke. There’s also news about Kristy Noem’s husband and his identity crisis.

I’ll get to those items, but I want to begin with a feel-good story for once.

Marcia Dunn at AP: Artemis II’s record-breaking journey around the moon ends with dramatic splashdown.

HOUSTON (AP) — Artemis II’s astronauts closed out humanity’s first lunar voyage in more than half a century with a Pacific splashdown on Friday, blazing new records near the moon with grace and joy.
It was a dramatic grand finale to a mission that revealed not only swaths of the lunar far side never seen before by human eyes, but a total solar eclipse and a parade of planets, most notably our own shimmering Earth against the endless black void of space.
With their flight now complete, the four astronauts have set NASA up for a moon landing by another crew in just two years and a full-blown moon base within the decade.
The triumphant moon-farers — commander Reid Wiseman, pilot Victor Glover, Christina Koch and Canada’s Jeremy Hansen — emerged from their bobbing capsule into the sunlight off the coast of San Diego.
In a scene reminiscent of NASA’s Apollo moonshots of yesteryear, military helicopters hoisted the astronauts one by one from an inflatable raft docked to the capsule, hauling them aboard for the short trip to the Navy’s awaiting recovery ship, the USS John P. Murtha.
“These were the ambassadors from humanity to the stars that we sent out there right now, and I can’t imagine a better crew,” NASA Administrator Jared Isaacman said from the recovery ship.
NASA’s Mission Control erupted in celebration, with hundreds pouring in from the back support rooms. “We did it,” NASA’s Lori Glaze rejoiced at a news conference. “Welcome to our moonshot.”

Read more at the AP link.

Now for the feel-disgusted news about Eric Swalwell. Based on what I’ve read, it’s surprising that this didn’t come out sooner. Apparently, he’s been DM young women, sending dick picks, and sexually assaulting women for years.

CNN: Exclusive: Four women describe sexual misconduct by Rep. Eric Swalwell, including a former staffer who says he raped her.

A former staffer of Rep. Eric Swalwell, a leading Democratic candidate for California governor, says that the congressman raped her when she was heavily intoxicated and left her bruised and bleeding, an allegation Swalwell strongly denies.
“I was pushing him off of me, saying no,” the woman told CNN of the incident, which she said happened in 2024 after she had stopped working in Swalwell’s office. “He didn’t stop.”

By Francesca Strino

She said it was the second time Swalwell had nonconsensual sexual contact with her while she was drunk. In 2019, when she was still working for him, she said she woke up naked with him in a hotel room after a night of heavy drinking. She said she had no memory of what happened but could feel physically that they’d had sexual contact.
Three other women who spoke with CNN also alleged various kinds of sexual misconduct by the Democratic congressman – including Swalwell sending them unsolicited explicit messages or nude photos.

One woman who connected online with Swalwell over her interest in Democratic politics says she ended up extremely drunk inside his hotel room after a night out with the congressman, with little memory of what occurred. Earlier in the night at a bar, he kissed her and touched her leg without her consent, she said.
Another woman, who described receiving unsolicited nude messages from Swalwell, was social media creator Ally Sammarco. She said she initially reached out to the congressman on Twitter to discuss politics. “I truly never thought he would respond – I had like 1,000 followers at the time,” she said. “And he actually responded.”
Swalwell denied the women’s allegations.
“These allegations are false and come on the eve of an election against the front-runner for governor,” Swalwell said in a statement to CNN. “For nearly 20 years, I have served the public – as a prosecutor and a congressman and have always protected women. I will defend myself with the facts and where necessary bring legal action. My focus in the coming days is to be with my wife and children and defend our decades of service against these lies.”

I don’t think that’s going to work. These are not subtle accusations, and the women told others about their experiences at the time. Sammarco saved the messages she got from Swallwell. A bit more from CNN:

One member of Swalwell’s staff said they quit immediately after receiving CNN’s detailed list of questions about the allegations.
CNN found corroboration for key elements of each of the women’s claims, including the former staffer who said she was sexually assaulted. Two family members and a friend said in interviews with CNN that she told them about the alleged 2024 assault in the following days, and CNN also reviewed text messages she sent two friends describing her allegations at the same time. “I was sexually assaulted on Thursday,” she wrote to one of her friends, adding: “By Eric.”
The woman also shared medical records related to her receiving STD and pregnancy testing after the alleged assault.
For the woman who connected online with Swalwell over Democratic politics, a family member and two friends confirmed she told them last year about the incident where she ended up intoxicated in his hotel room. CNN also reviewed messages between her and Swalwell, including a photo he sent her that matches footage of him during a CNN interview in her city on the night they met in person.

There’s still more at the link.

Politico: Jeffries, Pelosi and other Democrats call on Eric Swalwell to end governor campaign.

House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries and former Speaker Nancy Pelosi headlined a growing list of Democratic lawmakers called on Rep. Eric Swalwell Friday to withdraw his campaign for California governor amid allegations of sexual misconduct.

Lily Walton with Raminou, 1922, by Suzanne Valadon

“This extremely sensitive matter must be appropriately investigated with full transparency and accountability,” Pelosi said in a statement. “As I discussed with Congressman Swalwell, it is clear that is best done outside of a gubernatorial campaign.”

In a joint statement with other elected House Democratic leaders, Jeffries called for a “swift investigation” as well as the end of his pending campaign.
“This is unacceptable of anyone — certainly not an elected official — and must be taken seriously,” the leaders said.
The San Francisco Chronicle reported Friday that a former congressional aide accused the congressman of two sexual encounters without her consent, beginning in 2019. CNN later reported that four women allege that Swalwell has committed sexual misconduct, including one former staffer who accuses Swalwell of rape….
Key backers of Swalwell’s governor bid swiftly revoked their support after the Chronicle’s story was published, including Reps. Jimmy Gomez (D-Calif.) and Adam Gray (D-Calif.), who served as campaign co-chairs.
“Today’s reports about Eric Swalwell’s conduct while in office are deeply disturbing,” Gray said in a statement. “Harassment, abuse, and violence of any sort are unacceptable. Given these serious allegations, I am withdrawing my support and Eric Swalwell should end his campaign immediately.”
But nothing underscored the peril for Swalwell’s nearly two-decade political career as vividly as Pelosi’s statement. The former speaker included Swalwell in her inner circle of favored Democratic members for years, tapping him for junior leadership roles and to serve as a manager in Donald Trump’s second impeachment trial in 2021.

Read the rest at the link.

The Melania Trump story might have stayed on social media if she hadn’t decided to make a public statement at the lectern that is supposed to be reserved for the POTUS. But it’s out there now, and she will have to deal with it.

It began with a disturbing story in The New York Times on March 20: Trump Friend Asked ICE to Detain the Mother of His Child.

Last June, the man credited with introducing President Trump to his wife asked the administration for a favor.

Paolo Zampolli, a former modeling agent turned presidential special envoy, had learned that his Brazilian ex-girlfriend was in a Miami jail, arrested on charges of fraud at her workplace. They had been in a custody battle over their teenage son. Now he saw an opportunity.

Eduard Manet, Woman with a Cat, 1880

He reached out to a top official at Immigration and Customs Enforcement, explaining that his ex was in the country illegally, according to records obtained by The New York Times and a person familiar with the communications. Could she be put in ICE detention? That could help him get his son back.
The official, David Venturella, promptly called the agency’s Miami office to ensure that ICE agents would pick up the woman from the jail before she was released on bail, according to the records and a person with knowledge of the conversation who requested anonymity to discuss it. During the call, Mr. Venturella noted that the case was important to someone close to the White House.
The woman, Amanda Ungaro, was placed in ICE custody and ultimately deported, an outcome that may well have happened regardless of Mr. Zampolli’s meddling. But the ICE official’s willingness to spring into action for a Trump ally — even one in a low-level, largely ceremonial role — reflects a recurring theme of the second Trump administration: The levers of the federal government can be pulled to settle a personal score.

I read this story when it was published, but I didn’t make the connections I should have.

Amanda Ungaro is on X AKA Twitter, and she is fighting back. If you have access, you can read the many tweets she has been sending to Melania.

Melania is apparently sensitive about how she came to the U.S. In fact Zampolli is the one who brought her here and got her an H1-B visa. When she first arrived, she moved into a building occupied by other models who worked for Zampolli’s agency. It looks like Melania has really stepped in it. The Epstein files are back in the news.

From Julie K. Brown, the journalist who originally wrote about Epstein in The Miami Herald, at her Substack The Epstein Files: Could a former Brazilian model be the whistleblower Melania Trump is afraid of?

The First Lady’s unprecedented public statement about Jeffrey Epstein yesterday raised a lot of questions about what, if anything, is about to be revealed about Donald and Melania Trump’s relationship with the late sex trafficker.
The Epstein case had quieted down in the wake of Trump’s decision to attack Iran — some critics allege that was one of Trump’s goals in launching a war in the first place — to cool the MAGA furor over DOJ’s inept release of the Epstein files.
Now it seems that plan, if true, has led to a Jack-In-The-Beanstalk effect — as in trading a cow for beans and climbing into danger without really thinking it through.
Because there is another story that I admit I missed when it ran in the New York Times a few weeks ago.
It appears that the Trump administration may have targeted Zampolli’s ex-girlfriend, a former Brazilian model named Amanda Ungaro, deporting her back to Brazil amid her custody battle with Zampolli over their teenage son.
As the NYT’s story notes: “The levers of the federal government can be pulled to settle a personal score.”

Self-Portrait with a Cat, created by Frida Konstantin

In this case, the score involved Paolo Zampolli, a former modeling agent who was appointed last year by Trump as special envoy for “global partnerships,” which allows him to travel the world to advance trade and other partnerships with the U.S.
Just days ago, he was in Hungary with Vice President Vance, supporting the re-election of Prime Minister Viktor Orban, an effort to publicly back the right-wing leader in the days running up to the election.
Zampolli, 56, was in Epstein’s orbit around the time that Trump met Melania in 1998. He was also friends with Epstein, as the two entertained a business deal over buying a modeling agency.
And Zampolli’s name is in the Epstein Files, with Epstein noting in one email that he was “trouble.”
Still all the drama surrounding Zampolli’s custody battle with his estranged girlfriend didn’t connect any dots, at least not for me, until the First Lady’s speech yesterday.

Read the rest at the link.

The New York Times has another piece about Melania’s statement today: Trump Says First Lady ‘Had a Right’ to Talk About Epstein.

President Trump said Friday that he had known his wife wanted to speak about Jeffrey Epstein at some point, and that he “thought she had a right to talk about it,” even if he had not known what exactly she planned to say.
“It doesn’t bother me,” Mr. Trump said in a brief telephone interview, referring to the remarks Melania Trump made from the entrance hall of the White House a day earlier.
“I didn’t know what the statement was,” he said, “but I knew she was going to make a statement.”
The first lady’s comments certainly came as a surprise to many other people who work in the White House, according to two officials familiar with the situation who asked for anonymity to discuss the matter. It was not clear why she had chosen that moment to talk about Mr. Epstein. Absent any explanation, questions and feverish conspiracy theories swirled.
The president said his wife had been agonizing for a long time over her press coverage and rumors connecting her to Mr. Epstein. What was particularly upsetting to her, Mr. Trump explained, was one theory positing that it was Mr. Epstein who introduced her to her future husband. In her remarks on Thursday, Mrs. Trump recounted the story of meeting Mr. Trump “by chance at a New York City party in 1998.” She said she did not encounter Mr. Epstein for the first time until two years after that.
“She finds it very insulting,” Mr. Trump said of the rumors. “And I said, ‘If you want to do that, you can do that.’ I said if she wants to do it — I didn’t recommend it, but I said, I let it be her, I said, if you want to do it. …”
He added, “She didn’t meet me through Jeffrey Epstein. And I could understand her feelings. But I said, ‘If you want to do it, do it.’”
He would not say when exactly he had this discussion with the first lady, but said that “it wasn’t a big discussion. I’d say it lasted for about two minutes. I had no problem. I thought she actually did a good job.”

He’s lying, obviously. I doubt if she told him. Now she has revived interest in the Epstein files and Trump can’t be happy about that.

The Black Cat, by Carl Wilhelm Wilhelmson , 1922, Swedish, 1866-1928

The last scandal for today–the Kristi Noem story. The story was originally in the Daily Mail, but it’s behind a paywall.

The Independent: Kristi Noem’s husband offers cryptic three-word answer to report that he talked about leaving wife and becoming a woman.

Kristi Noem’s husband, Bryon Noem, has pushed back on a report that he insulted his wife in phone calls and online messages with a dominatrix and expressed a desire to become a woman.
Bryon Noem told The Independent the claims in the report were “not all true.” He did not elaborate when asked for more information.
The 56-year-old was reported to have been in an on-off relationship online with Shy Sotomayor, a 30-year-old sex worker known as Raelynn Riley, since 2016, she claimed in an interview with the Daily Mail, published Friday.
It is the latest in a series of exposés on the husband of the recently ousted Homeland Security Secretary, who has been keeping a low profile since the story broke last week.
Sotomayor shared recordings of phone calls and screenshots of messages she said she exchanged with Bryon Noem, where he said she was “so much better” than his wife. He also expressed wanting to transition to become a woman, the messages showed.
In one recent message, the South Dakota insurance boss said he wanted to change his name to Crystal “so bad,” and that he wanted plastic surgery. “I want to be your trans bimbo b****,” the messages showed.
The outlet linked Bryon Noem’s telephone number to the messages with Sotomayor, and it also corresponded to an email address under the pseudonym “Chrystalballz666.”
The messages reportedly from Bryon Noem appear in stark contrast to Kristi Noem’s opposition to transgender rights. As South Dakota governor, she signed an exclusionary bill to ban surgical and non-surgical gender-affirming treatments for children in the state, and barred transgender girls and women from playing on women’s sports teams.

Read the rest at The Independent.

There’s no news on the Iran talks yet, so I’ll end this with two disturbing Iran stories:

The New York Times: Iran Unable to Find Mines It Planted in Strait of Hormuz, U.S. Says.

Iran has been unable to open the Strait of Hormuz to more shipping traffic because it cannot locate all of the mines it laid in the waterway and lacks the capability to remove them, according to U.S. officials.
The development is one reason Iran has not been able to quickly comply with the Trump administration’s admonitions to let more traffic pass through the strait. It is also potentially a complicating factor as Iranian negotiators and a U.S. delegation led by Vice President JD Vance meet in Pakistan this weekend for peace talks.

Woman with a cat, Pierre Bonnard

Iran used small boats to mine the strait last month, soon after the United States and Israel began their war against the country. The mines, plus the threat of Iranian drone and missile attacks, slowed the number of oil tankers and other vessels passing through the strait to a trickle, driving up energy prices and providing Iran with its best leverage in the war.
Iran left a path through the strait open, allowing ships that pay a toll to pass through.
Iran’s Islamic Revolutionary Guards Corps has issued warnings that ships could collide with sea mines, and semiofficial news organizations have published charts showing safe routes.
Those routes are limited in large part because Iran mined the strait haphazardly, U.S. officials said. It is not clear that Iran recorded where it put every mine. And even when the location was recorded, some mines were placed in a way that allowed them to drift or move, according to the officials.
As with land mines, removing nautical mines is far more difficult than placing them. The U.S. military lacks robust mine removal capabilities, relying on littoral combat ships equipped with mine sweeping capabilities. Iran also does not have the capability of quickly removing mines, even the ones it planted.

Raw Story: Hegseth’s key Iran claim collapses as US intel finds Iran has thousands of missiles.

One of Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth’s main defenses of the U.S. decision to negotiate a controversial ceasefire with Iran is that its ballistic missile program has been “functionally destroyed.”
But that claim has now been shot down by U.S. intelligence assessments, the Wall Street Journal reported on Friday.
“Iran still has thousands of ballistic missiles in its arsenal that it could use by retrieving launchers from underground storage areas, according to American officials familiar with U.S. intelligence assessments,” said the report. “The assessments come as the U.S. is working to cement a cease-fire that would fully open the Strait of Hormuz and also insulate Iran, American troops and states in the region from further attacks. Some American officials said they are concerned that Iran will use the break in fighting to reconstitute some of its missile arsenal.”
The conflict has taken a toll on Iran, with around half of its missile stockpile lost, the assessment found — but “it retains thousands of medium- and short-range ballistic missiles that could be pulled out of hiding or retrieved from underground sites, said U.S. and Israeli officials.”
This comes as even a number of Republican and conservative analysts are crying foul about the terms of the ceasefire, which appear one-sidedly in favor of Iran.

That’s it for me today. I guess it’s okay to focus on salacious stuff on the weekend. Happy Caturday!

#AmandaUngaro #ArtemisII #BryonNoem #catArt #caturday #DonaldTrump #EpsteinFiles #EricSwalwell #IranWar #IranSBallisticMissles #JeffreyEpstein #KristiNoem #MelaniaTrump #mines #NASA #PaoloZampolli #politicalScandals #rape #sexualAssault #StraitOfHormuz

#amandaungaro #artemisii #bryonnoem #catart #caturday #donaldtrump

Kingdom Venturers @[email protected] · 2026-09-06 · 15:42 UTC

It Doesn’t Take Much

It was going to be another one of those Center City weekends. That’s what my gut told me when I rolled out of bed. That and fifteen years on the force.

Friday began with me sitting before a grand jury providing testimony and evidence about an abduction turned homicide. I was subpoenaed to present facts and findings so the jury could determine if there is probable cause to indict the suspect. When I return to the police station there is someone waiting to give me their testimony about what she thinks might be going on at her neighbor’s house.

Pearl Dowdy, an elderly woman with short grey hair, olive green eyes, and large dark-rimmed glasses that make her large hawk nose look fake, is very concerned.

“Detective, I watch that house every day. Every night. Lights are flashing. Things are being carried out in tarps late at night. Noise. Oh, my Lord, the noise.”

“Ma’am, I’m a homicide detective. if you haven’t witnessed any crime I can’t get involved.”

“There’s something bad going on over there. I just know it and so does Winston.”

“Who’s Winston?”

“My dog. He knows when something is up.”

“Ma’am, I’ll send a patrol around to check on the noise.”

“You had better, Detective Winder. I think the husband is up to something.”

The whole time we’re talking, she is moving things on the front of my desk. When I put them back in place, Miss Dowdy gets up, yanks her sweater tight around her, and walks out.

Patrolwoman Majorie Lachance had been listening to the conversation.

“How did it go with Miss Marples?”

“That woman would indict a ham sandwich. You know, Lachance, if I had a licorice snap every time I interviewed someone convinced that they know something about a crime based on a theory of appearances and not facts, I’d have an empty bag of licorice snaps on my desk. Oh look. It’s empty. But hey, I just so happen to have backup.”

I pull another bag of snaps out of a box in the file cabinet. I offer the opened bag to Marjorie.

“I got a feeling that you’ll need all of them, Roy.”

~~~

3 AM the next morning Sarge is on the phone.

“But the wicked are like the tossing sea that cannot keep still; its waters toss up mire and mud. Roy, there’s a body in the Carnival of Souls haunted house.”

“A body not a prop?”

“A body. A female student. A freshman at CCC. “

~~~

Sarge tells me that there’s no rest for the wicked as they are forever tormented. But whatever is buried in the catacombs of Center City rises in October. Our metropolis becomes hell turned inside out when Halloween comes around. Tormented souls come out to play in the crisp autumn air.

I drive over to Carnival of Souls staged on an abandoned lot used by carnivals in the summer. The area is a forsaken corner of our grimy metropolis. It’s a virtual ghost town with boarded-up businesses, warehouses, and homes.

Outside the haunted house, students are laying flowers next to a picture of the deceased. The entrance has several signs: “YOUR HOME FOR HORROR” “BEWARE!” “YOU WANT TO BELIEVE.” I see no CCTV camera.

I cross under the police tape and into the barely lit cavern. I pass Dracula’s Portal, the Crypt, the Mummy’s Tomb, Frankenstein’s Lab, The Morgue, the Chamber of Torture, Wolf Man’s Forest, a graveyard with tombstones, a sordid mix of atrocities and figures of notorious criminals, and lots of fake blood and spider webs. The smell of smoke liquid from pyrotechnics is heavy in the air.

I come to the Execution Chamber staged with gallows, chopping block, and guillotine. And there is the body of a young woman.

CSI Mike shows me her driver’s license and student ID. The nineteen-year-old woman on the floor is Cheri Long.

“Cause of death?”

“By the horizontal and circumferential ligature marks on her neck, I’d say she was strangled. Her attacker came from behind based on the trauma to the back of the neck. This was personal.”

“Time of death?”

“I’d say about the time this house of horrors was shutting down for the night. Around 2 AM.”

“Any sexual assault?”

“Not that I can see. The autopsy might reveal something.”

“I saw the same orange shirts on the women outside.”

“The Sparks? That’s the woman’s volleyball team at CC College. This was used to strangle her.”

Mike shows me the hemp rope taken down from the gallows in the Execution Chamber.

“Defensive wounds?”

“She has bruising and scratches on her arms. She likely struggled with her attacker. Some of her fingernails are broken. I took a sample of what was under her nails and grabbed the broken nail tips for testing. I’ll be testing the rope, too.”

“Any money or jewelry taken?”

“It doesn’t look like it. Her necklace, pocket book and phone are still here.”

I went outside to talk to the women behind the police tape.

“Does anyone here know what happened here tonight?”

A gaggle of women in red and gold teams shirts started talking all at once.

“Hold on ladies. One at a time.”

Patrolwoman Lachance pulled from the group a tall young woman with brown hair and red eyes.

“This is Senta. Cheri’s roommate.”

I brought Senta to my car to hear what she had to say.

“Cheri said a friend called her and asked her to go to the Carnival of Souls haunted house last night. Cheri said she didn’t like that sort of thing, but her friend kept asking her to go.”

“Did you meet her friend?”

“She came to our dorm room last night. Cheri introduced me to Jill.”

“Describer her.”

“She’s Asian. Maybe Japanese. She seemed to know Cheri. They left right after she arrived.”

“Do you know what time that was?”

“After midnight. I was up cramming for a pre-med test.”

“What was Cheri studying?”

“Drama. She auditioned and got the lead role for a play in December.”

“She’s wearing the same team shirt you are wearing. Was she on the volleyball team?”

“Oh, yeah. She’s the libero. She’s really good in that position. Our team is in the playoffs for the Women’s Volleyball Championship. The whole team is out here.”

I told Senta that I would get a warrant to search her dorm room. I asked her not to touch anything of Cheri’s. She understood and returned to the group.

I walked over to Patrolwoman Lachance.

“Who’s the butch doing the Italian Up Yours to us?

“That’s an angry queer feminist who doesn’t like the police and apparently herself.”

“What tipped you off ‘detective’ Lachance?”

“Her “Defund the Police” sign, her shaved chartreuse head atop her Sumo body, and her blast furnace mouth. I see what I see and report it. And over there, waiting for you to talk to them Roy, are the six characters who were working in the horror house tonight.”

She pointed to the Frankenstein monster, Dracula, the Mummy, the Wolf Man, the Slasher, and the Executioner.

“Hell is empty and all the devils are here, I see.”

“Speaking of devils, Roy, here comes the owner of this horror house.” He wants to know when he can reopen his Carnival of Souls.”

“Tell Dr. Frankenstein that his C-movie horror fantasies have gotten out of hand and we need to put some daylight on his Carnival. Tell him it will be down however long it takes. Tell him to bug off. Tell him whatever you want. I’m going to talk to the six jokers in costume.”

I put the six in a police lineup, in the order they appeared as one would see them as they went through Carnival of Souls. I questioned each one separately and took down the names of each.

Four of them said they saw two girls – a blond and an Asian girl – pass through. The Wolf Man said he scared the bejesus out of the two girls and they ran out to the next chamber. The Executioner, without his hood, is a severe looking man. He was made for the part. His sharp features matched his curt replies.

“You work in the execution chamber?”

“Yes.”

“Did you see what happened to the woman lying on the floor?

“No.”

“No?”

“No.”

“Patrolwoman Lachance will stake you to the station for a statement.”

I decided not to play hangman with gallows man.

~~~

I drive over to Howden Hall, the women’s dorm on the campus of Center City College. An RA is called down to escort me. When the elevator doors open on the fourth floor, the RA shouts “A man is on the floor!”

Women in towels scurry about. Doors close. Some women line the hallway, their lower lip pushed up and lip corners turned down, their eyelids drooping. They were mourning the death of one of their own.

The RA leads me to Cheri’s room. Senta is sitting on her bed reading what looks to be an anatomy book. I show her the search warrant.

“Hello detective. I left everything alone.”

“Thank you.”

“Cheri’s things are over there.”

On the wall above Cheri’s desk are photos of her family, her dog Rags, a group photo of the Sparks volleyball team, and a photo of Cheri and Jill. A class schedule and a drama rehearsal schedule are pinned to a bulletin board.

On her desk is a script for Ibsen’s Hedda Gabler. Cheri’s role as Hedda is highlighted in yellow.

Senta shows me the phone number of Cheri’s parents. They’ve been calling her because Cheri hadn’t responded to their calls. Senta told them about Cheri.

I tell Senta that I’ll go see them and assure them that we’re looking into their daughter’s murder.

~~~

Back at the station, Lachance tells me “Hoodless horse face” is in Interview room 1.

I sit down across from the long straight nose, the prominent jawline, and the large teeth of the medieval-looking executioner still in tunic, belt, gloves, and boot covers. He is smoothing his mouse-blond hair. The fact that he is grooming and moving around and racking in the swivel chair tells me he is anxious about being interviewed.

“Let’s see.” I thumb through my notes. “Mr. Orme is it?”

“I see that you can read.”

“I can even go to the bathroom by myself. Is the Executioner bit your full-time employment or do you just like to hang around death?”

“I am a theater professional. I’m Theater Director at CC.”

“Oh. I see. So, being executioner at Carnival of Souls is just a side show?”

“I bet you’ve never even seen a play have you dick?”

“My wife and I have season tickets at Doublehouse. Just saw the production of King Lear. And I have season tickets to executions, too.”

Orme’s tense face softened for a second and then regrouped into a tight formation.

“Mr. Orme, the lead for December’s play had been murdered and murdered in your chamber.”

“You’re not going to pin that on me, dick. Lots of people were coming through that place. Lots of drunk high people. Lots of goofed-up people under the influence were coming in and out last night.”

“This cold night will turn us all to fools and madmen.”

“Quote Lear all you want, you can’t pin this on me, dick.”

“You were at the scene of the crime. You didn’t see Cheri laying on the floor in your chamber?”

He swallowed hard. “At 2 AM the place was closing. I went out back for a smoke.”

“An “under the influence” smoke? You smell of weed.”

“No. A cigarette. It must have happened when I was outside.”

“And when you came in from your smoke, you must have seen the body of a young woman on the floor.”

“I saw a body on the floor face down with a noose around its neck. I thought it was put there for effect. I don’t produce this horror house.”

“You say you are a “theater professional.” Yet, you are working Carnival of Souls. Why is that?”

“This,” he addressed his costume with his hands,” is just, what did you call it? Oh yes, a side show. A macabre side show. I like the stage. I like to perform. I’m well respected in the arts as actor and director.”

“Could it be that ‘The prince of darkness is a gentleman!’?”

“C’mon detective. Cut out the Lear.”

“One can learn a lot about human nature from Shakespeare. More so than from any text book.”

The door opened. Lachance wanted a word with me.

“Hang tight, Mr. Orme.” I left the room. Lachance was waiting for me in the hallway.

“Roy, Jill is here for questioning. Room 2.”

~~~

Jill reminded me of a young Setsuko Hara, a Japanese actress called the Greta Garbo of Japan. I know this because long before I became a street cop and then a detective, I was a film student living with a Japanese roommate who liked Ozu’s Late Spring.

“Jill, you asked Cheri to go with you to the Carnival of Souls. Is that correct?”

“Yes.”

“You and Cheri friends?

“In high school very close friends. Then she go to college.”

“You and Cheri walked through Carnival of Souls together?

“Yes.

“Did you see what happened to Cheri?”

“No. We go in together and we come out together. Someone outside say that the theater director was executioner. She go back in to talk to him.”

“Why did she want to talk to him?”

“She say she tell him no about them.”

“Did she go alone?”

“Yes. She not scare like me.”

Sitting across from Jill and the deep dark gaze of her almond-shaped eyes in a setting of a heart-shaped face, porcelain-like skin, straight black hair, and petite build – a combination of pure sweet girl and modern young woman in slim-fit jeans and oversized sweater – I wanted to believe that she couldn’t be guilty of anything. But having spent time in the make-believe world of film, I knew things are not what they appear to be.

I leave the room and find Lachance.

“Lachance, I’m pretty sure this guy Orme is under the influence of THC. He smells of weed and he’s looney tunes. Get him swabbed. Depending on the test results, his non answers, and the ME report, we may have probable cause to get a warrant for a blood test.

“Roy, what’s strange about Orme and Jill is that they don’t seem all that sad about what happened to Cheri. They seem more anxious than sad.”

“That’s what I see, ‘detective’ Lachance. Keep them here for now. Let them stew. Maybe they’re both in on it. We’ll see who breaks down first. I’m going over to Cheri’s parents to find out about Cheri and jill. I’ll be back in an hour.”

~~~

Mr. and Mrs. Harrison greet me at the door. They both look tired and lifeless.

“I very sorry for your loss.”

I ask about Cheri’s relationships – if anyone had a grudge against her. They said no. She was loved by everyone, they said.

“Tell me about Jill.”

Mr. Harrison showed me a photo of Cheri and Jill. He said that Jill was a foreign exchange student from Japan. “She’s been living with us for her high school education.”

Mrs. Harrison said that the two girls became very close during high school. She learned from Jill’s parents that extremely intimate relationships between school girls, “esu” relationships, was typical in Japan. That’s where Jill was coming from, she said, but not Cheri. Cheri’s world included others.

Mrs. Harrison began sobbing.

“Mr. Harrison, tell me about Jill?”

“Jill had become obsessive about Cheri. She monitored her every move. She tried to cut Cheri off from other people and even us. Her angry outbursts we wearing us thin. We encouraged her to get out and find new friends. She became depressed when Cheri went off to college. Jill has applied at several schools and hasn’t heard anything back.”

“Did you know that Jill asked Cheri to go with her to the Carnival of Souls.”

“I had no idea.”

I told the Harrisons that suspects were being interviewed. I would find out what happened to their daughter.

“Again, I’m sorry for your loss.”

~~~

When I return to the station, CSI Mike hands me the ME’s report on Cheri.

“Roy, the Medical Examiner’s report concluded that death was caused by ligature strangulation using the rope found at the scene. There was no sexual assault. Bruises and scratches on Cheri’s arms suggest that she struggled to get free from her attackers.

“Someone had to be tall enough to remove the rope from the gallows. And someone had to be strong enough to tackle Cheri, hold her down, and strangle her. The only one’s around were the characters of the horror house and the owner.”

“Right now, Mike, I have a dopey Executioner whose lead for the play he’s directing is dead and a stalker friend who was with Cheri last night but saw nothing.”

“And, you have this.”

Mike handed me another page of the ME report. It explained what was found under Cheri’s fingernails: brown hair-like polyester strands, the kind used for costumes. The same strands were found on the hemp rope and the smell of weed.

I return to question Mr. Orme.

~~~

Mr. Orme, the THC swab detected the presence of THC in your system.”

“OK. OK. When I was done with my “side show” I went out for a smoke. Wolf Man was outside.”

“And?”

“Wolf Man was smoking some really potent weed. I took a couple of hits but it was too much. That stuff was making Wolf Man howling crazy. He kept bitching about some chick protesting against trans athletes playing in women’s sports. Wolf Man took a long hit, handed the blunt to me, and went back inside. I threw the blunt away. My head was spinning. I stayed outside for a cigarette.”

I look through the notes I made at the scene. I find the name of the Wolf Man – Frank Kaleb.

“Hang tight, Hang Em High. I’ll be back.”

I leave the interview room and tell Lachance to bring in Wolf Man Frank Kaleb.

“A probable cause warrant will be issued to search the house for everything to do with the Wolf Man costume and weed and anything else suspicious. And send CSI to Carnival of Souls to look for a blunt on the ground behind the building.”

I return to question Jill.

~~~

“Jill, when you found out about Cheri’s roommate Senta and about the theater group and the volleyball team how did that make you feel?

I waited. Jill said nothing for a minute and then, “What is it . . . when . . . you know you are not needed and not missed anymore?”

“A motive? Jill, did you become angry because Cheri was no longer close with you?”

“I felt angry and sad when Cheri told me about her roommate and about theater guy who wanted to date her.”

“You told me she went back in to Carnival of Souls to tell him she wasn’t going to date him. Did you let her go in by herself because you knew what would happen? Were you that angry?”

Jill looked down and said nothing.

~~~

While I waited for Wolf Woman to arrive, I asked the medical examiner for what he could tell me about the effects of potent cannabis.

“Roy, Cannabis-induced psychosis can produce instant psychopathy. It can trigger sudden paranoia, suspiciousness, and a sense of grandiosity. It can trigger a break from reality, hallucinations, a feeling of unreality, disorganized thoughts, inappropriate emotional responses, and unusual changes in behavior.

“Regular use increases the chances of experiencing psychosis. Individuals with pre-existing mental health issues are more susceptible. Cannabis-induced psychosis is usually acute and temporary.

“There was a case in 2018 of a young woman who smoked her boyfriend’s blunt containing a high dose of cannabis. She wasn’t accustomed to smoking pot. After taking a couple of hits, she went into his kitchen and brought out a handful of knives. She began stabbing her boyfriend over 100 times. He died from his wounds.

“Then, she began stabbing her service dog, who also died. Then she started to stab herself with a long-serrated knife. Cannabis takes more than it gives.”

Sarge came over. “Roy, Lachance is on the phone.”

“Roy, we picked up Frank Kaleb, aka Fran Kaleb, aka the Wolf Man.”

“What? Wolf Man is Wolf Woman?”

“Yeah. There’s more than meets the eye here. Too much more. I have the costume and we found a stash of cannabis. Her partner is going ballistic about everything.”

“Bring Wolf Woman in before there’s another full moon.”

~~~

I walk into Interview room #3.

“Hello Frank – Fran – Wolf Woman. Anyone or anything else I should know?

“Yeah, copper. Don’t misgender me or I’ll have your badge.”

“You misgendered yourself, Fran. And you also mis-classified yourself as a furry.”

“Ha. Ha.”

“Last night. You were working as the Wolf Man. Correct?”

“Yeah.”

“You’re about six feet tall, correct?”

“Yeah.”

“Been working out?”

“Yeah. I can deadlift my weight.”

“Your weight?”

“170. Where is this going?”

“Go out for a smoke at closing time?

“What?”

“I have a witness who says you were outside smoking a really strong blunt. Then you passed it to him and went back inside.”

“Yeah, so what?”

“A dead woman, that’s what.”

“You people like to discriminate against people like me.”

“We like to sort out people who single out others for murder.”

“C’mon detective. I smoke weed for my back pain.”

“My witness says that you were bitching about a woman voicing her concerns about men playing in women’s sports.”

“Yeah, well, sure. Discrimination. It’s us against them!”

“Frank-Fran, you will be swabbed for THC. And, a warrant will used to draw your blood to check levels of THC.

“Strangling someone, cutting off their air supply, is rarely about wanting to kill. It’s about asserting total control. You wanted to control Cheri, the one speaking out about men in women’s sports. Strangling Cheri was your way of saying “shut up bitch.”

“I was just trying to scare her.”

“You scared the life right out of her. Right now, Fran, based on the autopsy report, the CSI report, the toxicology report, and the medical examiner’s report based on the costume fibers found on the victim and on the rope used to strangle Cheri, and a tossed blunt behind Carnival of Souls, and a motive to silence Cheri, I will be turning everything over to the DA.

“You will likely face charges of felony strangulation which may escalate to attempted murder charges. You will be spending your time in a different house of horrors and for many moons.”

~~~

Back at my desk after a long day of chasing down facts and findings, I sit down for some licorice snaps.

On my desk someone had placed a printed news page with the title New Mexico man accused of fatally shooting cousin after argument over enchiladas.

A New Mexico man had been accused of fatally shooting his cousin after an evening of drinking which escalated from an argument into a fistfight over enchiladas.

According to the affidavit, a cousin of both men and a witness to the shooting told authorities that the three men bought groceries, returned to the apartment and cooked green enchiladas while drinking alcohol.

Tension began when Gutierrez repeatedly claimed the chili on his enchiladas was hotter than the chili on Cavazos’ plate and challenged him to eat some. Cavazos responded that they had all eaten the same enchiladas, so the chili should be equally hot. The men continued arguing after the witness suggested they take the dog for a walk.

Eventually, the two fought, according to the witness’ account. Cavazos struck Gutierrez enough to leave him bleeding before the fight ended and Cavazos walked away.

The witness told investigators that Gutierrez then allegedly pulled out a handgun and confronted Cavazos, saying, “We’re family! We’re family! How could you do this to me?”

The witness said Cavazos was about 10 feet away and was not holding a weapon when Gutierrez fired three or four times, striking him in the back. Gutierrez then fled.

Lachance walked up biting her lips trying not to smile. “Quite a story, eh?

“It doesn’t take much to set people off, does it? A little jealousy, a little pride, a little matter of taste, a little “I want control of the whole enchilada” mixed with alcohol, pot, drugs, and a tormented soul torments someone else just to square things up. Maybe that’s it.”

“What?”

“Why Orme and Jill could handle Cheri’s death like it was nothing to them. In their own way they said “We’re family! We’re family! How could you do this to me?” The theater director was rejected by the female lead and the high school friend felt rejected when Cheri went off to college, joined the drama club, and volleyball. Maybe Cheri’s death vicariously squared things up for them. Her death ended the rejection. But there is always more than meets the eye. I’ll look into them tomorrow.”

“Laci!”

“Hi Marjorie.”

“Laci, Roy just closed a case. He’s talking about Mexican food.”

“Yeah. I want to know who’s chilis are hotter. Mine or yours.”

“C’mon Roy. You’ve been at this since three this morning. Put down the snaps. We’re going out to eat. You don’t want me to become jealous of your job, do you?

I follow my best girl out the door.

~~

#books #crime #DetectiveStory #fantasy #fiction #mystery #Police #ShortStory #Writing

#books #crime #detectivestory #fantasy #fiction #mystery

Calum @[email protected] · 2026-09-06 · 07:09 UTC

Mrs Wildcat's Columbo-themed entry has been shortlisted for this year's Jancis Robinson wine writing competition! If you love #wine and #Columbo, please consider voting for her entry "Just One More Glass" at https://www.jancisrobinson.com/articles/our-2026-wine-writing-competition-shortlist #columbotv #lieutenantcolumbo

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