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404 results for “Soldusty”
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Ever had one of those days where, it's been so frelling long that you've forgotten what it's like to not be in burnout but you're also just mad at everything because there's no way out of burnout?
No official diagnosis & your GP threw out the preliminary test that said you're a good candidate for autism that you got years ago. The waiting list is impossibly long so by the time you:
1) Pluck up the dice / spoons to face the GP (I'm still working on it 😣)...
2) Get an appointment & (by a miracle) maybe still have the dice / spoons...
3) Actually persuade the GP an AuDHD diagnosis is what you need...
4) Jump through whatever hoops to get the preliminaries sorted...
5) Get the green light for getting a diagnosis...... You'll be waiting so long, you won't need it anymore as you're too old to work & are on minimum pension.
My messed up bodyclock doesn't help either.
Oh, it's you Depression... 😫... Just what I need 😡😩.
I hate it when I give myself reality checks 😔.
#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic
#MindFog #Burnout #Spoons #NoSpoons
#SelfCare #Depression
#Life #Sleep #Insomnia #SleepProblems -
Random thoughts & feeling energised in a knackered sort of way. If I was less knackered & not aiming for the end of day wind down I'd get of my backside & do things.
If this foes turn into a solid bit of insomnia, maybe I should use it as it'll mean that I won't get nothing done tomorrow.
Hello insomnia, my old frenemy.
#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic #Life #Sleep #Insomnia #SleepProblems
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Really need to get to bed before midnight tonight, or I turn into a gremlin or something 🤷.
I need to start reclaiming my mornings as it would be nice to get to about lunch time & actually have accomplished some thing. Just simple things maybe but things like a bit of house cleaning, going for a walk, some reading & maybe a little bit of writing & drawing.
Maybe it could boost my confidence & make it possible to volunteer somewhere, even if the local volunteering options are only charity shop work.
#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic #MindFog #Burnout #Spoons #NoSpoons #LackOfFocus #SelfCare #Depression #Life #Sleep #SleepProblems
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Is it already something something the something morning?
Something something & I was enjoying my something something sleep, something something bloody something daylight something something mornings!
I'll something something frelling something them a something bloody something something morning!#Life #SleepProblems #TissuePaperEyelids #WaferThinEyelids #DaylightOClock #SleepDeprivation
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@actuallyadhd @actuallyautistic
Well, life with no schedule & no solid plans has hit a small bolder today.
I had a vague plan to finally give my Lineage OS a massive update (going through most of the rigmarole of installing fresh OS procedure 😰) & updating a laptop that's been neglected for several months & finally Linux-ifying my Surface that has been missing for many months (possibly a year or more).The small bolder = my phone, thankfully, reminding me that today is library day, swap & renew books. Renew I could do online but swap means prep for peopling mode, get changed & step outside.
Today I started feeling fine but my lack of enough sleep soon caught up, so me & my brain just cringed & thought, "hell no!" to the reminder, but needs must.
I'm glad I managed to just get on with it rather than waste ½ - 1 hour trying to rejig a planned day. It meant I could just get on with it.
I'm back from the library & a quick look in the secondhand bookshop / cafe where I found two books to take home. Got back home, still feeling knackered but also feeling much better.
I doubt I've got the spoons to sort my phone but laptop is doable & if I've still got the time & mood to do it, maybe sort the Surface.
Oops! More than I was expecting to prattle 😅. Guess my autism is in a talky mood.
#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic #Life #Sleep #Insomnia #SleepProblems #MindFog #Burnout #Spoons
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@actuallyadhd @actuallyautistic
Today's plans got chucked in the bin last night.
First I messed up, then my guts kept me awake for 1½ hours. Still had a few things planned but I'll try & see if today can be used to begin weaning me off plans.
If in can wean myself off plans, maybe I can begin to learn to be a bit more spontaneous, or so goes the theory.First, try wrapping my head around the 'be kind / gentle with yourself' mantra as I always fall into the trap of, '-but this needs doing, or I can quickly do this, & that & probably this thing!
Next thing I know, it's taken me 6 - 8 hours not including food breaks to get these three, quick & simple tasks done & I'm as relaxed as mouse in a trap, being stalked by a cat.Here's hoping I can put a crack in that self-destructive cycle.
#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic #Burnout #Spoons #NoSpoons
#Depression #Sleep #SleepProblems -
@actuallyadhd @actuallyautistic
Waking up & wondering why my bedside lamp is on & why my phone isn't next to it?
Especially as I remember putting phone next to it & switching the lamp off.
Hello, life stresses. What's happening now?Also, why does my body default to 6 hours sleep? When it clearly needs more? And yet it won't let me install the Nap Time plugin I so desperately need.
Result: permanent dice / spoon deficit
#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic #Sleep #Insomnia #SleepProblems #Burnout #Spoons #NoSpoons
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Why do I even wake up before my eyeballs are even close to coming back online?
Woke up, eyes closed, comfy in bed… time passes, 'okay, what time is it? I'm bored of this now but still comfy if a little toasty with my summer duvet. '
Digs out phone from under pillow & tries to crank open eyes. The eyes are fine but the mechanism's all gummed up & though they open it's a hard slog.
Activate phone & get that blinding light feeling, eyes emergency close slams them shut.
That's better, eyeballs back in hibernation mode, or whatever. I put phone back & just let myself doze but I'm too warm & a bit bored.
I think parts of my brain are seriously out of sync with other parts of my brain & it's not a problem I can fix. Possibly caused by a night-owl trying & failing to adapt & go to bed earlier to get up earlier.
Currently just trying to retrain my body & brain to sleep for 7+ - 8+ hours a night (daytime naps have never caught on) as currently I'm usually managing 6+ hours & often not fit for things like driving or socialising, even when it's my regular weekly art group I attend & usually enjoy.
#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic #Life #Sleep #Insomnia #SleepProblems
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Less than 4 hours sleep & my body trying to roast me after two days of ridiculously high temps. Today is supposed to be 10°C cooler but right now at 05:35 it feels 10°C hotter than the last two days.
So, nobody remind me what it's like to feel comfortable or relatively comfortable.So… this is what the frying pan looks like from down here in the fire?
#Life #Sleep #Insomnia #SleepProblems #Summer #TooWarm #AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic
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Okay, on less than two hours sleep & a bit over an hour of Mastodon, I'm gonna tackle my chores & then either, crawl back into bed or have breakfast & see how the rest of the day goes.
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Less than two hours of sleep. Nightmare wakes me up & then my body turns up the heat.
I mean, seriously? That's taking the piss.I guess I could get some of my chores out of the way but I'm roasting 🥵.
Thanks mother nature, you suck at internal, organic plumbing.#Life #Sleep #Insomnia #SleepProblems #TooWarm #MeltingFromTheInside
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Okay body of mine, I've got up & taken a painkiller, then crawled back into the sleep apparatus known as B.E.D. The painkiller has been working for nearly an hour now, so why won't you let me sleep?
What's with, 'here's a screening of random bad decisions from your past' ?
Okay, fine… I'll get on Mastodon if it will stop this self-torture.
Why have I got a masochist for a brain?
*Kneels down in giant puddle, in a horrendous rainstorm & rants at the sky *
Whhhhhyyyyyy‽#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic #Sleep #Insomnia #SleepProblems
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Screw this, I'm getting up. May as well start my day … 5 hours early.
Maybe a miracle will happen & I'll actually feel up to doing things.#Life #Sleep #Insomnia #SleepProblems #AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic
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Feeling wierdly inspired to make a schedule or roster. Problem is I know I'm either, A) going to try it & fail within minutes, hours, days or at some point in the second week or, B) will find myself unable to try it because I've forgotten there's things I need to do that don't fit or because I just don't have the dice/spoons/battery.
It is of course typical that I'm settling down to have supper & watch a film before making an attempt to get to bed before 00:30 instead of after 02:30 when.this urge has to strike. I would like to be able to enjoy my mornings without sleeping or dozing through them.
Fingers 🤞 the movie & my supper distract me enough to leave it till a more sensible time.#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic #Hyperfocus #Burnout #Spoons #NoSpoons #Focus #Life #Sleep #SleepProblems
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Insomnia edition of me survived the pitstop at the art group (no dice for hanging around & peopling or doodling) & then getting the shopping done, all whilst having to people on trams & hoofing it between art group & supermarket.
I was definitely not up to driving on zero sleep.Rats! Need to order new wiper as that's the other reason for not driving, been needing to get a new front wiper since last week 🤣 & figured it would start raining if I drove anywhere.
I guess that makes me a believer in the
god/dess known as Sod.I'll order it when I'm back from my weekend away as knowing sods law I'd get a text halfway to my destination saying it's out for delivery & the prat will leave it in front of my house where anybody can nick it. Yep, that's my usual kinda luck.
Hope people are having a better or at least a less cursed with insomnia day.
#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic #Life #Sleep #Insomnia #SleepProblems
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Okay morning schedule rejigged but I'm now over 10 minutes behind 😆.
#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic #Life #Sleep #Insomnia #SleepProblems
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Okay, may as well get myself into vertical mode & hunt down some breakfast & then rejig my day round the supposed extra 2½ hours of morning time available.
Alternatively, I'll get up, get downstairs & stall once I hit the sofa.
#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic #Life #Sleep #Insomnia #SleepProblems
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Okay Insomnia, you win but tomorrow night's my night & I expect a minimum of 8 hours of total, dead-to-the-world Z-time.
And no, Z-time does not mean zombie-time. -
I'm glad I managed to get a second go at sleep after only managing 2½ hours before my body became it's own inferno.
Got an extra 4 hours so I am in, zombie / sod everything, mode. I'm amazed I managed to & enjoyed reading a bit in my books & felt some sort of thing that helped me get on & tackle the washing up.
I can now enjoy lunch with nothing I need to do (other than wait for & survive my Mam's phone call). Monday is going to be a duvet day as I did not expect my body to attempt to burn it / me from the inside in the middle of the night. -
I need to create a Mastodon routine as I've noticed that I seem to be missing a lot of posts from those I follow.
Wondering what tips or tricks others on here use?
I need me a checklist or I'll never remember whatever routine I come up with. Now, how to come up with the time & dice to come up with that 🤔
Yes, I'm at least 50% lurker & a quick look often just turns into a Home feed doom scroll, meaning I forget all about the other feeds & checking any hashtags that I'm supposed to be following.
If you're someone I follow but I'm never boosting, starring or commenting on any thing ever.
Sorry, I'll try & figure this out but might still take a while.
If I figure a quick fix to this it will be amazing. If I keep that fix working for longer than a day it's bordering on a miracoil! (Like a miracle but bouncier.)
#WhereIsEverybody #ImStillHere #FediTips #FediTricks #DoomScroll #FightTheDoomScroll -
Well, around 02:10, after opening NewPipe, downloading an ambient noise video & the app not giving the option of playback I tried Podcast Addict, the only viable option out of the 3 possible apps it offered for playback.
Okay, let's try for sleep, kill screen as any light just keeps me awake (my eyelids are like tissue paper). Problem, killing screen kills playback 😡.
I'm too tired, will look into what options to tweak in the morning or whenever.I doze till about 04:30 as I need to roll over to relieve my bones & whatever else is aching. Try getting back to dozing... 30 odd minutes later, my body is deep frying me from the inside 😩.
Okay, I'm awake but I don't like it.
Can't believe how quickly I went thorough my notifications on here, replied to a few & back scrolled Home feed to see what I missed.
...So now, what do I do?
#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic
#Life #Sleep #Insomnia #SleepProblems #TissuePaperEyelids #WaferThinEyelids
#TooWarm -
Well, around 02:10, after opening NewPipe, downloading an ambient noise video & the app not giving the option of playback I tried Podcast Addict, the only viable option out of the 3 possible apps it offered for playback.
Okay, let's try for sleep, kill screen as any light just keeps me awake (my eyelids are like tissue paper). Problem, killing screen kills playback 😡.
I'm too tired, will look into what options to tweak in the morning or whenever.I doze till about 04:30 as I need to roll over to relieve my bones & whatever else is aching. Try getting back to dozing... 30 odd minutes later, my body is deep frying me from the inside 😩.
Okay, I'm awake but I don't like it.
Can't believe how quickly I went thorough my notifications on here, replied to a few & back scrolled Home feed to see what I missed.
...So now, what do I do?
#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic
#Life #Sleep #Insomnia #SleepProblems #TissuePaperEyelids #WaferThinEyelids
#TooWarm -
Well, around 02:10, after opening NewPipe, downloading an ambient noise video & the app not giving the option of playback I tried Podcast Addict, the only viable option out of the 3 possible apps it offered for playback.
Okay, let's try for sleep, kill screen as any light just keeps me awake (my eyelids are like tissue paper). Problem, killing screen kills playback 😡.
I'm too tired, will look into what options to tweak in the morning or whenever.I doze till about 04:30 as I need to roll over to relieve my bones & whatever else is aching. Try getting back to dozing... 30 odd minutes later, my body is deep frying me from the inside 😩.
Okay, I'm awake but I don't like it.
Can't believe how quickly I went thorough my notifications on here, replied to a few & back scrolled Home feed to see what I missed.
...So now, what do I do?
#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic
#Life #Sleep #Insomnia #SleepProblems #TissuePaperEyelids #WaferThinEyelids
#TooWarm -
Well, around 02:10, after opening NewPipe, downloading an ambient noise video & the app not giving the option of playback I tried Podcast Addict, the only viable option out of the 3 possible apps it offered for playback.
Okay, let's try for sleep, kill screen as any light just keeps me awake (my eyelids are like tissue paper). Problem, killing screen kills playback 😡.
I'm too tired, will look into what options to tweak in the morning or whenever.I doze till about 04:30 as I need to roll over to relieve my bones & whatever else is aching. Try getting back to dozing... 30 odd minutes later, my body is deep frying me from the inside 😩.
Okay, I'm awake but I don't like it.
Can't believe how quickly I went thorough my notifications on here, replied to a few & back scrolled Home feed to see what I missed.
...So now, what do I do?
#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic
#Life #Sleep #Insomnia #SleepProblems #TissuePaperEyelids #WaferThinEyelids
#TooWarm -
Sleepy yay ! Been awake since around 05:30. Less than 4 hours sleep as I didn't roll over without my phone in hand till 02;01.
Been looking for byline times RSS & severely disappointed that they don't have one.Anywhose, it's 6:50-ish & I'm actually thinking of getting up before my brain realises it's supposed to be in sleep mode.
Today is going to be interesting but good or bad interesting?#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic
#Life #Sleep #Insomnia #SleepProblems -
Sleepy yay ! Been awake since around 05:30. Less than 4 hours sleep as I didn't roll over without my phone in hand till 02;01.
Been looking for byline times RSS & severely disappointed that they don't have one.Anywhose, it's 6:50-ish & I'm actually thinking of getting up before my brain realises it's supposed to be in sleep mode.
Today is going to be interesting but good or bad interesting?#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic
#Life #Sleep #Insomnia #SleepProblems -
Sleepy yay ! Been awake since around 05:30. Less than 4 hours sleep as I didn't roll over without my phone in hand till 02;01.
Been looking for byline times RSS & severely disappointed that they don't have one.Anywhose, it's 6:50-ish & I'm actually thinking of getting up before my brain realises it's supposed to be in sleep mode.
Today is going to be interesting but good or bad interesting?#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic
#Life #Sleep #Insomnia #SleepProblems -
Sleepy yay ! Been awake since around 05:30. Less than 4 hours sleep as I didn't roll over without my phone in hand till 02;01.
Been looking for byline times RSS & severely disappointed that they don't have one.Anywhose, it's 6:50-ish & I'm actually thinking of getting up before my brain realises it's supposed to be in sleep mode.
Today is going to be interesting but good or bad interesting?#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic
#Life #Sleep #Insomnia #SleepProblems -
I'll just do a quixk clean of the messest bits of kitchen worktop & then a go at the sink. It'll only take 20 minutes 😃 & then I can have lunch 😎 ...
1 hour later: That's the entire worktop cleaned & disinfected. What be the time my good microwave?... 🤯.
The sink'll just have to wait as I'm knackered, thirsty & hungry 🥵 & a bit too toasty.Feels good to have done it properly though 😀.
#ActuallyAutistic #Autistic #ActuallyADHD #AuDHD
#HyperFocus #RunningWithSpoon -
I'll just do a quixk clean of the messest bits of kitchen worktop & then a go at the sink. It'll only take 20 minutes 😃 & then I can have lunch 😎 ...
1 hour later: That's the entire worktop cleaned & disinfected. What be the time my good microwave?... 🤯.
The sink'll just have to wait as I'm knackered, thirsty & hungry 🥵 & a bit too toasty.Feels good to have done it properly though 😀.
#ActuallyAutistic #Autistic #ActuallyADHD #AuDHD
#HyperFocus #RunningWithSpoon