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938 results for “alphamale”
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CW: Sexually suggestive
#AlphaMale #spiral 1: Born to Rule www.collectorsrealm3.net/2023/06/12/a...
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Agony Aunt: “Man in crisis after LETTING RIP at work!” 💩
Following social etiquette at work is vital, even if you’re a raging psychopath. However, even the most dazzling of alpha males will, from time to time, lose control of their bodily functions. This is the sad result of feminism.
Today’s human male is labouring under a crisis of ego, one brought about by the feminist agenda of not stopping him from letting one rip in the office on Monday after lunch. The shame. The shame….
When a Man Loses Control of His Bodily Functions at Work
Dear agony aunt,
I am an alpha male. At least… I was an alpha male until Monday yesterday after lunch, when the burrito caught me out and I disgraced myself in front of the whole office. It was loud, long, and foul-smelling. I’m so ashamed I can’t even bring myself to type the dreaded word of what happened to me.
Moments after the incident, and after blaming it on feminists, I tried to continue with my work. Alas, The Woke Mob wouldn’t let me. Women AND my supposed brothers in kind (men) lined up with cruel, cruel jokes and jibes about what had happened.
They did not hold back…
Their cruel agenda was to emasculate me.
I’m ashamed to admit they BROKE me. By 2pm I was so distressed I called The Samaritans hotline. Some feminist hippy chick took my call and LAUGHED… LAUGHED in my face when I told her what happened. Enraged, I hung up on the second class citizen and suffered my biggest masculine crisis since that time Jenny from accounts (in my last job) turned me down for a date citing her existing boyfriend as the reason for the rejection. “Babe!” I grunted in manliness, “Whether you’re married, boyfriended, or whatever, you don’t miss the chance to date an alpha.” Then I smacked her butt playfully and that’s when there was the whole sexual harassment disciplinary hearing and all that woke stuff. Got myself sacked under the Equality Act 2010 and now here I am, farting in the new business when I’m only 3 months into the job. How is a man supposed to thrive in a world not built around my needs!?!
You bet your arse I didn’t cry! Although I did a little when I got home later, just not when in the office. I jutted out my jawline and powered through the rest of the day, achieving excellent productivity, and sending many emails without typos, all while the cruel, cruel jibes of raspberry blowing noises and “Lighten up, Jonathan!” rained down on my sorry, sordid existence.
That… is professionalism.
And since you’re called Professional Maroon, you clearly know a thing or two about alpha males, being marooned in a far-left communist society, and how to break free from this horrifying reality.
Yours,
Jonathan (with an a, not an “o” or an “e”)
Hi there, Jonethon! That sounds very embarrassing. Humiliating, even. Shit! The best course of action is to drink a litre of laxative-laden water/cocktail/energy drink prior to work. This way, you can effectively purge your system each and everyday.
You’ll never suffer from unfortunate bodily functions in work again! Except for that initial purge… but then after that, you’ll be golden (brown)! Double thumbs up, matey. 👍
#AlphaMale #Business #Capitalism #career #EMployment #farting #Humor #Lifestyle #Politeness #Satire #satirical #Silly #Work -
"I watched a small son get pummelled. 'That was fun,' he said flatly when it was over. Heading back to the gym, one notably silent son told me that his father had made him come." —Charles Bethea for The New Yorker https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2026/04/06/the-camps-promising-to-turn-you-or-your-son-into-an-alpha-male?src=longreads #alphamale #masculinity #fatherhood #longreads
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The true face of alpha male fragility
#AlphaMales
#FragileMasculinity
#MyAltTexTIsOftenFunnierThanThePost -
The true face of alpha male fragility
#AlphaMales
#FragileMasculinity
#MyAltTexTIsOftenFunnierThanThePost -
The true face of alpha male fragility
#AlphaMales
#FragileMasculinity
#MyAltTexTIsOftenFunnierThanThePost -
The true face of alpha male fragility
#AlphaMales
#FragileMasculinity
#MyAltTexTIsOftenFunnierThanThePost -
Was wäre eigentlich, wenn wir die #AlphaMales als #AlphaVersion bergeifen, also als das, was vor der #BetaVersion kommt?
Ich frag für einen Freund … -
Was wäre eigentlich, wenn wir die #AlphaMales als #AlphaVersion bergeifen, also als das, was vor der #BetaVersion kommt?
Ich frag für einen Freund … -
Was wäre eigentlich, wenn wir die #AlphaMales als #AlphaVersion bergeifen, also als das, was vor der #BetaVersion kommt?
Ich frag für einen Freund … -
Vermutlich bin ich late to the Party, aber der ultimative #alphamale trend ist ein tattoo aus zwei wölfsköpfen. Einer davon als Schädel. Nur: Der Schädel ist ein Waschbär (Racoon). Es gibt viele Varianten des tattoos, der Waschbär ist immer derselbe. Dem fehlt nämlich ein Zahn und das lässt sich auf ein einziges Bild in pinterest zurückverfolgen, das versehentlich mit Wolfsschädel beschriftet wurde.Merke: Du hast 2 Wölfe in dir, einer ist ein Waschbär.
Merke: Suche deine Bilder immer bei wikipedia, die sind kuratiert.
@atarifrosch @why_not @LeilahLilienruh @susannelilith @SheDrivesMobility @levampyre
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Interesting TED Talk about #alphamale s
by Frans de Waal, primatologist.
He points out that most alpha males in the societies of chimpanzees and other primates aren't bullies. Instead they show a lot of empathy, they keep the peace of their community and have other leadership qualities.
In the text image, there is his conclusion of this TED Talk:https://www.ted.com/talks/frans_de_waal_the_surprising_science_of_alpha_males
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@RadicalAnthro Ooooh. How to resist #AlphaMales! I'll try to tune in!
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Es ist Sonntag. Ihr habt Zeit. Anstatt euch mit tagesaktuellem Unfug zu befassen, schaut euch eine halbe Stunde https://youtu.be/kpvpadX5mwM?si=muFv-_71742cQjlw an. Ihr lernt etwas Wichtiges über Wölfe [und andere non-human Tiere] sowie kulturelle Probleme, die sich aus Missverständnissen ergeben.
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@noondlyt @samiamsam @jzmurdock
Totally!
Asshole, douchebag, and jagoff are not great branding.
How about..... "#AlphaMale".
Yeah! That will work!
Turn a negative to a positive! -
ICYMI: 🎧 Wild Wind by Kristen Ashley
#2.5Hearts #AlphaMales #AudioBookReview #MCClub #SocialCommentary #BookReview
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Celebrity marriages are notoriously brief
#alphamales #uspol https://www.bbc.com/news/live/cyvm2181lqvt -
#alphamales on Netflix is legit! So funny. It gets a bit too farsical at times, but overall very funny
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Heute neu: Staffel 3 von Alpha Males bei Netflix #AlphaMales #HeuteNeu
https://www.serienjunkies.de/news/staffel-alpha-males-netflix-125205.html?utm_source=mastodon&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=News%20(125205)#sjnews -
Heute neu: Staffel 2 von Alpha Males bei Netflix #AlphaMales #HeuteNeu #PlayByDay
https://www.serienjunkies.de/news/staffel-alpha-males-netflix-121658.html?utm_source=mastodon&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=News%20(121658)#sjnews -
Global bullies. Like #alphamales in the school playground. 🥱 I have no sympathy for military when they are operating nowhere near their sovereign territories. Go home all of you
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About those #alphamales ...
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"Wisdom" (irony alert) from #AlphaMale #NickAdams. “If you don’t go to Hooters, you got a problem."
Another takeaway: I didn't realize how political #soy had become: “We’re not going to have women telling us how to be men,” Burra continued. “And we’re not gonna have soy cucks, fuckin’ soyjaks, telling us what’s manly.”
https://slate.com/news-and-politics/2024/03/donald-trump-2024-news-nick-adams-republicans.html
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"Wisdom" (irony alert) from #AlphaMale #NickAdams. “If you don’t go to Hooters, you got a problem."
Another takeaway: I didn't realize how political #soy had become: “We’re not going to have women telling us how to be men,” Burra continued. “And we’re not gonna have soy cucks, fuckin’ soyjaks, telling us what’s manly.”
https://slate.com/news-and-politics/2024/03/donald-trump-2024-news-nick-adams-republicans.html
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"Wisdom" (irony alert) from #AlphaMale #NickAdams. “If you don’t go to Hooters, you got a problem."
Another takeaway: I didn't realize how political #soy had become: “We’re not going to have women telling us how to be men,” Burra continued. “And we’re not gonna have soy cucks, fuckin’ soyjaks, telling us what’s manly.”
https://slate.com/news-and-politics/2024/03/donald-trump-2024-news-nick-adams-republicans.html
