#thosewhocreateanddestroy — Public Fediverse posts

I just realized something about my two WIP novels:

#ThoseWhoCreateAndDestroy points out everything that's wrong with things as they are, while also hinting at what could be.

#TakeOnMe (what the hell, I'll do an unofficial title drop here for Mastodon pals only) paints a lovely picture of what could be, while also acknowledging things that are wrong.

I used to have a Twitter where I just kinda popped off all the time with thoughts that came to me during meditation, and I've been going through tough times recently, so I was browsing the archive just now in hopes of better reconnecting with myself. This was from 1/27/22:

"hold in one hand 'what is' (the perceived wrongness) and in the other 'what should be' (the perceived ideal) and wait as long as it takes for the third way to emerge"

I guess I, at least, really do need both.

#writing #WritingCommunity

Hey #WritingWonders gang, #WritingCommunity and other friends—thinking of you all and hoping you're well! 🙏

I've been hermiting extra hard lately because I've apparently developed long COVID as a result of my New Year's breakthrough infection (thankfully it's relatively mild, but still not fun), so I've been spending a lot of time deeply resting/recovering/processing, and haven't really been pushing myself to do even things I want to do—such as check in here or finish TWCAD—because, lately, pushing myself to do *anything* can sometimes have immediate unpleasant consequences in my body.

It's very day-by-day—good days and bad days, and I never quite know which I'm going to have—but after a late night emergency room visit showed no truly scary issues such as heart damage or blood clotting, I'm feeling optimistic for eventual recovery. Sometimes life demands you slow your roll to a stop, and for me this is definitely one of those times. By this point in my life I always tend to see potential in them. Adapting to physical limitations means having to soften up in new ways, and as a result I'm feeling closer to myself and to my partner of twelve years, which is really lovely. And been quietly shelving some old stories about myself and my life and gently trying on new ones for size.

One thing I did find the energy to do recently (I think it kinda cost me...but worth it) was create a pretty new book cover for #ThoseWhoCreateAndDestroy, which you can check out below. 😊

Anyway, I might start poking my head back into the #WritingWonders hashtag soon—can't promise anything resembling consistency, but I do miss the prompts and responses and would love to jump in whenever I can. And I'm gently reapproaching TWCAD Part 3 as well, with an eye to my current need for pacing and self-care. Still kinda hoping Mabel and I can have the complete book out there for y'all this summer, but gonna try to go slow and steady and let it take the time it takes.

Anyway, thanks for reading and caring. It's nice to be able to wander off for a while and always come back to find this community still here. I'll continue updating, sharing, and checking in on y'all as I feel able. 💛

Happy March #WritingWonders, gang! 🙏✨ We're kicking it off with the softball questions, I see...

Since I'm still wrapping up Part 3, I'm back again this month with our queer epic switchblade-and-sorcery novel #ThoseWhoCreateAndDestroy and, for today, its precocious young alchemist co-protagonist, Jules. (You can check out the complete Parts 1 & 2 here: https://readformandvoid.com/the-nullweaver-cycle/those-who-create-and-destroy/ )

How is Jules *not* me, would be an easier question to answer. He's a prickly pear with a heavily guarded warm heart and a rarely seen or acknowledged effusive side, who escapes his trauma by trading in human realities for cosmic conceptualizations. He reaps the social rewards of high achievement (not so much me now, but me in grade school) and toxic self-sacrificing (also me until recent years), while continuing to feel vaguely but deeply unfulfilled in both his intimate and his inner life (once again, me till recently).

Jules lives as a mostly-out-and-visible trans man in a largely socially conservative magic wainscot society in the aughts—which has a range of social ramifications. I, by contrast, am usually taken for a cis woman (outside my inner circle) and (usually) let it slide. 🙃 But I think Jules and I both feel essentially genderless, while at the same time experiencing dysphoria, to no small extent, at times, with our "female" bodies, but more intensely and persistently with the social roles and perceptions traditionally associated with femaleness in our cultures of origin (although we're both also able and willing to lean on "feminine" expressions in limited circumstances, when it serves our purposes). Part 3 flashes back to trace the arc of Jules's gender experience from childhood, and, while his journey differs in many ways from mine, the book's climax finds us both in more or less the same place (albeit still using different pronouns... I seem to be more partial to "they," at least for now).

I could go on, but instead I'll just say that, aside from being (rather aspirationally) more organized and more accomplished, more action-oriented and more abrasive, Jules is about as "me" as any character I've ever written—though I wasn't at all aware of this when @dontdoitneil and I first started drafting TWCAD in 2016. Jules, I like to think, came along to help me see myself more clearly, at a time when I'd all but lost sight.

@[email protected]

#WritingCommunity #transmasc #transgender #nonbinary #gender #LGBTQbooks #queerSFF

The Part Two finale reveals new hope for a once-doomed friendship, the Nihilites' under-city lair, Cyrano's long-delayed choice, and Hunter's dreadful secret power.

Read Chapter 47 online: https://readformandvoid.com/the-nullweaver-cycle/those-who-create-and-destroy/chapter-forty-seven/

Start back at Chapter 1: https://readformandvoid.com/the-nullweaver-cycle/those-who-create-and-destroy/chapter-one/

@dontdoitneil @[email protected]

#ThoseWhoCreateAndDestroy

#TransWriters #TransBooks #TransFiction #enby #nonbinary #NonbinaryWriters #fantasy #DarkFantasy #grimdark #SFF #SFFBookClub #SpeculativeFiction #queerSFF #UrbanFantasy #AmWriting #AmWritingSFF #AmWritingFantasy #LGBT #LGBTQ #LGBTQIA #trans #transgender #transmasc #LGBTQwriters #LGBTQbooks #WritersOfMastodon #Bookstodon #QueerFiction #LGBTbooks #QueerFantasy #books @lgbtqbookstodon @bookstodon

In "The Number No Good Things Can Come Of," Jules intuits a vague forecast of doom and, together with Caliban, visits the site of the grim ritual in which Max was conceived.

Read Chapter 46 online: https://readformandvoid.com/the-nullweaver-cycle/those-who-create-and-destroy/chapter-forty-six/

Start back at Chapter 1: https://readformandvoid.com/the-nullweaver-cycle/those-who-create-and-destroy/chapter-one/

@dontdoitneil @[email protected]

#ThoseWhoCreateAndDestroy

#TransWriters #TransBooks #TransFiction #enby #nonbinary #NonbinaryWriters #fantasy #DarkFantasy #grimdark #SFF #SFFBookClub #SpeculativeFiction #queerSFF #UrbanFantasy #AmWriting #AmWritingSFF #AmWritingFantasy #LGBT #LGBTQ #LGBTQIA #trans #transgender #transmasc #LGBTQwriters #LGBTQbooks #WritersOfMastodon #Bookstodon #QueerFiction #LGBTbooks #QueerFantasy #books @lgbtqbookstodon @bookstodon

In "That Girl Possessed," Rory tries breaking the bad news to Max on Jules's behalf, and it doesn't go well.

Read Chapter 45 online: https://readformandvoid.com/the-nullweaver-cycle/those-who-create-and-destroy/chapter-forty-five/

Start back at Chapter 1: https://readformandvoid.com/the-nullweaver-cycle/those-who-create-and-destroy/chapter-one/

@dontdoitneil @[email protected]

#ThoseWhoCreateAndDestroy

#TransWriters #TransBooks #TransFiction #enby #nonbinary #NonbinaryWriters #fantasy #DarkFantasy #grimdark #SFF #SFFBookClub #SpeculativeFiction #queerSFF #UrbanFantasy #AmWriting #AmWritingSFF #AmWritingFantasy #LGBT #LGBTQ #LGBTQIA #trans #transgender #transmasc #LGBTQwriters #LGBTQbooks #WritersOfMastodon #Bookstodon #QueerFiction #LGBTbooks #QueerFantasy #books @lgbtqbookstodon @bookstodon

In "Headfirst for Halos," Elisha and Jules finally learn the true circumstances of Max's conception—and tragedy ensues.

Read Chapter 44 online: https://readformandvoid.com/the-nullweaver-cycle/those-who-create-and-destroy/chapter-forty-four/

Start back at Chapter 1: https://readformandvoid.com/the-nullweaver-cycle/those-who-create-and-destroy/chapter-one/

@dontdoitneil @[email protected]

#ThoseWhoCreateAndDestroy

#TransWriters #TransBooks #TransFiction #enby #nonbinary #NonbinaryWriters #fantasy #DarkFantasy #grimdark #SFF #SFFBookClub #SpeculativeFiction #queerSFF #UrbanFantasy #AmWriting #AmWritingSFF #AmWritingFantasy #LGBT #LGBTQ #LGBTQIA #trans #transgender #transmasc #LGBTQwriters #LGBTQbooks #WritersOfMastodon #Bookstodon #QueerFiction #LGBTbooks #QueerFantasy #books @lgbtqbookstodon @bookstodon

In Chapter 43, "Burn No Bridges," Jules juggles a panicked Cyrano and a disoriented Max, in a situation that threatens to spin out of control.

Read Chapter 43 online: https://readformandvoid.com/the-nullweaver-cycle/those-who-create-and-destroy/chapter-forty-three/

Start back at Chapter 1: https://readformandvoid.com/the-nullweaver-cycle/those-who-create-and-destroy/chapter-one/

@dontdoitneil @[email protected]

#ThoseWhoCreateAndDestroy

#TransWriters #TransBooks #TransFiction #enby #nonbinary #NonbinaryWriters #fantasy #DarkFantasy #grimdark #SFF #SFFBookClub #SpeculativeFiction #queerSFF #UrbanFantasy #AmWriting #AmWritingSFF #AmWritingFantasy #LGBT #LGBTQ #LGBTQIA #trans #transgender #transmasc #LGBTQwriters #LGBTQbooks #WritersOfMastodon #Bookstodon #QueerFiction #LGBTbooks #QueerFantasy #books @lgbtqbookstodon @bookstodon

(From Chapter 26 of #ThoseWhoCreateAndDestroy. Re: today's #MicroPrompt, "judge," courtesy of @crtaxon ✨)

Fabi swung her gaze back to the nearest TV. “Judge said he didn’t wanna ruin the kid’s life for ‘one poor decision’ he made while he was drunk and upset.” A cold smile curled her lips. “But the real moral of the story is, you can do anything you want—to anyone you want—if your daddy’s rich.”

Camera flashes lit up the screen. Rory heard the angry jeers of the crowd, the frantic shouting of reporters, as a tall, blond, well-dressed young man emerged from the jail, escorted by officers, and was met by a detail of bodyguards who surrounded him, ushered him down the sidewalk to a waiting car.

“That”—Fabi leaned in closer, lowered her voice to the sparest whisper—“is someone who ought to be terminated with extreme prejudice.”

Rory was silent as he eyed the live footage of the BMW pulling away from the curb.

“Just think,” Fabi went on softly. “You could do it. Wipe the world clean of human filth like Bryce Archer. With impunity.” The intensity of her gaze set the side of Rory’s face tingling. “With the kind of power you have, isn’t it almost a calling?”

Rory’s pulse drummed a slow bass cadence in his ears. “It’s not my place.” He cleared his throat. “I’m not a judge. Much less an executioner.”

The feed cut back to the newsroom. The graphic over the anchor’s shoulder featured a grinning yearbook photo of Bryce Archer: clean-cut, confident, handsome. There was something in his dark-eyed gaze that set Rory’s teeth on edge.

“If you won’t do it,” said Fabiana, with a wistful note in her voice, “who will?”

(Full chapter here: https://readformandvoid.com/the-nullweaver-cycle/those-who-create-and-destroy/chapter-twenty-six/ )

@dontdoitneil @[email protected]

#AmWriting #WritingCommunity #queer #LGBTQ #DarkFantasy #grimdark #fiction #books

#WritingWonders Day 29!

If the MCs of #ThoseWhoCreateAndDestroy had three wishes...

Jules:

1. save his girlfriend Max from the magical malady that's slowly devouring her

2. save everyone he couldn't save the night of the council chamber attack

3. put his abusive ex-fiancé Hunter in a rocket and shoot the rocket into the sun

Rory:

1. take back what he did to his then-best friend Jules eighth year

2. put Hunter in a rocket and shoot the rocket into the sun

3. save his girlfriend Max from the magical malady that's slowly devouring her

https://readformandvoid.com/the-nullweaver-cycle/those-who-create-and-destroy/

@dontdoitneil @[email protected]

#AmWriting #WritingCommunity #queer #LGBTQ #fiction #fantasy #QueerFantasy #UrbanFantasy

Jules looked up, looked straight at Rory, his black eyes almost pleading. “I don’t want to have to watch you to go down this fucked-up road, period. Do you fucking understand?”

Rory held his breath.

“And it’s not because I’m ‘such a good guy.’” Jules made exaggerated air quotes. “I know you think that’s all I care about, doing the ‘right thing,’ and I guess that ought to be a fucking compliment, but it just makes me feel like you think I don’t have my own stupid feelings like a normal stupid human being. I want to protect you because I fucking want to. I know I said that one time I’d never ask you for anything again, but I guess that was a lie, ’cause I asked you to help me with Max, and now I’m asking for this. And I think I’m entitled to it. ’Cause God knows, Rory Navarrete, you will never stop owing me. And if that’s not a good enough reason for you, then I guess you’re right—you’re not the person I thought you were.”

Rory was silent a moment, letting this soak in. “You really don’t think I’m a lost cause, huh?”

Jules’s only answer was a shrug.

“Just so you know,” said Rory, after a long pause, “this is a pretty weird not-friends thing we have going on here.”

Jules side-eyed him. “Human relationships aren’t always easy to define.”

Read Chapter 42 here: https://readformandvoid.com/the-nullweaver-cycle/those-who-create-and-destroy/chapter-forty-two/

Start back at Chapter 1: https://readformandvoid.com/the-nullweaver-cycle/those-who-create-and-destroy/chapter-one/

@dontdoitneil @[email protected]

#ThoseWhoCreateAndDestroy

#TransWriters #TransBooks #TransFiction #enby #nonbinary #NonbinaryWriters #fantasy #DarkFantasy #grimdark #SFF #SFFBookClub #SpeculativeFiction #queerSFF #UrbanFantasy #AmWriting #AmWritingSFF #AmWritingFantasy #LGBT #LGBTQ #LGBTQIA #trans #transgender #transmasc #LGBTQwriters #LGBTQbooks #WritersOfMastodon #Bookstodon #QueerFiction #LGBTbooks #QueerFantasy #books @lgbtqbookstodon @bookstodon

#WritingWonders Day 28!

I guess diversity-wise the most notable thing about #ThoseWhoCreateAndDestroy is the range of queer perspectives its main cast represents, from cis gay to nonbinary pan, and in particular the variety of nuanced gender experiences that each, in their own way, interrogate binary/essentialist notions of gender.

Next might be the range of neurodivergent perspectives, including stigmatized mental illness categories like dissociative identity disorder and borderline personality disorder, which we gradually reframe by revealing identity crisis, "psychosis," multiplicity, and other marginalized human self-experiences as natural, more common than is popularly acknowledged in Western culture, and not inherently pathological—even representing their own potent and undervalued pathways to healing, wholeness, and empowerment.

As for cultural diversity, there too we have a range represented in our cast, though the most focus is naturally given to cultures we ourselves can authentically represent. Rory, like my partner and co-author @dontdoitneil, is the American-born child of immigrants from the Philippines, so Filipino, Asian American, and immigrant perspectives are featured by way of Rory and the Navarrete family.

https://readformandvoid.com/the-nullweaver-cycle/those-who-create-and-destroy/

@dontdoitneil @[email protected]

#WritingCommunity #AmWriting #trans #transgender #nonbinary #LGBT #LGBTQ #LGBTQIA #fantasy #fiction #books

In Chapter 42, "If It Means a Lot to You," Jules finds out what kind of bloody business Rory's been up to in his spare time—and decides to cash in a favor.

Read Chapter 42 online: https://readformandvoid.com/the-nullweaver-cycle/those-who-create-and-destroy/chapter-forty-two/

Start back at Chapter 1: https://readformandvoid.com/the-nullweaver-cycle/those-who-create-and-destroy/chapter-one/

@dontdoitneil @[email protected]

#ThoseWhoCreateAndDestroy

#TransWriters #TransBooks #TransFiction #enby #nonbinary #NonbinaryWriters #fantasy #DarkFantasy #grimdark #SFF #SFFBookClub #SpeculativeFiction #queerSFF #UrbanFantasy #AmWriting #AmWritingSFF #AmWritingFantasy #LGBT #LGBTQ #LGBTQIA #trans #transgender #transmasc #LGBTQwriters #LGBTQbooks #WritersOfMastodon #Bookstodon #QueerFiction #LGBTbooks #QueerFantasy #books @lgbtqbookstodon @bookstodon

#WritingWonders Day 27!

The world of #ThoseWhoCreateAndDestroy is more or less our own, so it shares our own world's human rights issues. But the book focuses in on a magical wainscot society that does have its own unique problems (in addition to being behind the times on a lot of the same social inequities we face).

The most privileged mages belong to the so-called "First Houses" of the dominant faction, Ordo Arcanus, whose ancestors arrived in North America with European colonizers. Other factions wield less power in the Alliance, and "Rising House" magi who have joined Ordo Arcanus in recent times are afforded significantly less power within the order. Non-faction-affiliated mages are greatly legally restricted in their practice of magic and denied many rights and access to resources.

Jules is a rare First House mage who's aware of and cares deeply about these issues, in no small part thanks to his close friendship with Rory—a Rising House (and later factionless) mage—when they were kids. Jules is often seen giving his conservative politician father an earful, for example in Thorsten's campaign meeting in Chapter 31: https://readformandvoid.com/the-nullweaver-cycle/those-who-create-and-destroy/chapter-thirty-one/

Rory naturally cares about these issues too, though he has less platform to agitate for change, due to both belonging to the underprivileged class and having defected from the magic world, rendering himself a political non-entity (though this changes as the series continues! For now, see his rant to his sister Abby about the dark history of Ordo Arcanus at the beginning of Chapter 3: https://readformandvoid.com/the-nullweaver-cycle/those-who-create-and-destroy/chapter-three/ )

Magic society is also not known for its humane treatment of "mundanes" (non-magic users), and Auctoritas Magicae enforcers regularly mind-wipe and occasionally even dispose of mundanes who "know too much." Both Rory and Jules care about this—especially after they both fall for the same mundane girl.

@dontdoitneil @[email protected]

#AmWriting #WritingCommunity #writing #fantasy #UrbanFantasy #DarkFantasy #SFF #QueerFantasy

#WritingWonders Day 26!

Character chronic health issues in #ThoseWhoCreateAndDestroy?

Mental health...yes. Almost everyone. I tend to err toward seeing mental health diagnoses as a sometimes-useful shorthand and every individual's lived experience as unique, but for the sake of brevity here's a list:

Rory - C-PTSD/dissociative identity disorder (the DID is latent till Book 2)
Max - depression, PTSD
Jules - PTSD
Cyrano - social anxiety, C-PTSD, PTSD
Hunter - narcissistic personality disorder, C-PTSD

PTSD might be a theme...

As for physical, Jules spends most of Part 1 using a cane thanks to an injury and continues to experience pain and a limp for the rest of the book, while Max...well, has a light-devouring hole in her chest that is slowly inexorably eroding both her body and her personality. Eep.

https://readformandvoid.com/the-nullweaver-cycle/those-who-create-and-destroy/

@dontdoitneil @[email protected]

#AmWriting #WritingCommunity #queer #LGBTQ #fantasy #books