#sotired — Public Fediverse posts

Today I am "I forget how long I left my tea steeping" levels of tired.

#Tea #TeaPowered #SoTired

• Depression spiral? You mean a rear flank downdraft leading to the formation of a tornado? And now I'm reading about tornadoes which I am slightly genuinely terrified of because somehow that's less awful than the existential dread and anxiety in my head.

• I actually had a relatively good day yesterday; I have no idea why today is so mentally shitty. Except "what goes up must come down."

• I did have an absolute shit night of sleep last night; at least four completely fucking random and awful dreams that I can remember but of course The Bitch had to be in ONE of them and of course she was playing innocent, clueless, and/or the victim. So it wasn't enough that I didn't get any decent rest, I've been Emotionally Disturbed and thinking about THEM all day.

• …….. I really don't have the energy to go into all that.

• It really fucking sucks that my only alone & undisturbed time at home where I could play music or even write without feeling emotionally repressed is Sunday morning, but Sunday morning is also perfect nap time in preparation for Monday, ESPECIALLY when I slept like shit anyway.

• Speaking of shit, fuck Richard Siken, when I was seeking advice for how to safely dig into emotions and trauma in order to write about them when it sends me into a near goddamn suicidal spiral every time and I have to HIDE IT from the people I live with because they don't UNDERSTAND, and he said, "If you think you need to be safe in order to write then you should be in a hospital. Mental or otherwise." Fucking douchebag.

• So yea I don't nap but I don't actually write either then everyone is home again and the whole day is a fucking waste and tomorrow is Monday again already. Fuck fuck fuck.

• I would just like a certified, qualified medical professional to look me in the eyes (not really, but) and tell me even though my job doesn't require heavy physical exertion, it's relatively low stress and low pressure, and it's even relatively "easy" and well within my "intellectual" / work skill set… … It's perfectly reasonable and not a FAILURE for me to be completely exhausted and feel like a 40 hr work week is utter hell because of the way my brain is wired. (I'm so grateful for my job. It's so much better than most I've had. So WHY is it still so fucking DRAINING.)

• Unrelated. Ahem. Everyone wants to be "an old woman who doesn't give a fuck" but have you ever been AROUND a middle aged woman who won't stop yapping and lacks ALL self-awareness about it? She's definitely neurotypical. And she's perfectly nice. But my god, it makes me even more self-conscious about inflicting myself on people. And that's not even starting about the actually nasty old bitches. The ones who want to hurt you and know they can get away with it BECAUSE THEY'RE OLD. "Oh, that's just the way they are." Really? So many decades of existence and they still haven't learned manners or kindness??

• Sometimes I wish the stupid neurotypical meme advice worked. "You just gotta --- ! Trust me! It gets better!" Ok, maybe for you… (sigh)

• I can do all of the inner work and healing and growth in the world but until I actually get to PRACTICE with PEOPLE and PEERS it's all theoretical and not actually… you know, applied and proven. I'm so fucking alone and lonely.

• I guess I'll shut up now.

• No, I lied: one more thing. It's not that I necessarily mind "aging" and "looking older," especially in the recently revealed context of how my generation's attitude re: our own appearance was manipulated by pedophiles… but goddammit, I haven't actually LIVED enough to be doing any aging! I haven't DONE anything to EARN or DESERVE wrinkles!! Fucking hell, time is passing and I'm just rotting away without any of the EXPERIENCES to make the decay worthwhile. I don't need to rewind, but can we at least hit PAUSE for a few years until I can get the hell out of Dodge and actually start living and loving?

@airshipper @aj unfortunately, 75% of those conversations, by law, have to be about algorithms, ai, and ads #sotired

4 out of 6 hours of online meetings done. Now I have 44 minutes to prepare for the next batch. (I received one 27-pp-document at 2am this morning, otherwise I of course would have read it yesterday because it's not like I have better things to do on a Sunday afternoon.)
#sotired #academicchatter

i have work to do but alas, someone has stolen my bones

#chronicillness #sotired

Went for an MRI today and damn, the whole thing wiped me out. Potentially it's my body getting rid of the contrast but I've been worn out all day. I hope an early night will do the trick and set me right for tomorrow.

Cool bonus: the tech gave a message a funky blue stretchy bandage to wear 😎

#health #mri #SoTired

Well, fiddledeedee. I think that article-bud was successful and works as its own independent little thing!

I can't see it to edit it anymore, so have put it down for a few days, but I'm cautiously optimistic about its publication chances.

#AmWriting #AcWri #SoTired

The Monday morning struggle is real today .. taking DK's dream bus energy directly to the coffee machine. 🚌 ☕️

마이데이 꿈의 버스 탑승 완료 (My Day Dream Bus Boarding Completed)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fOEfguPuM_M

"Waking up after several alarms
I see the time and it’s an emergency
I’m crumpled as I rush onto the bus"

#Day6 #Dokyeom #SoTired

Trifft es ziemlich genau, so knapp eine Stunde vor #Feierabend

https://song.link/y/vjWhOoT2h7w

#OzzyOsbourne
#SoTired

Whose idea was it to schedule 4 blood transfusions, a c-section, and a splenectomy on Monday and Tuesday this week? Oh wait, it was me. I'm the problem, it's me.
#SoTired

Lots of things dropped today, but I have run out of tether, cause Monday was truly stupid. Catchups tomorrow. But I'll just say .. *swoooon*

도경수 Doh Kyung Soo '기억의 온기 (Where You Were)' Live Clip (Preview)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8vhLNCwMxqg

#SoTired #DohKyungsoo

It's a good thing today is my Friday..

#workllife
#sotired

Yesterday I told a colleague that I was running around like a head without a chicken.

It's a remarkably accurate description of my state of mind at the moment.
#soTired

I am so pooped. I did 22 laps & just over 1km half of them wearing my new fins. Then my daughter & grandkids arrived & young master 3 spent the next half hour jumping in the pool for me to catch, only to climb out so he could do it again. Then another couple of even slower than normal laps along with my granddaughter. Thoroughly enjoyed this morning even though my glutes, legs & knees are very weary. #Swimming #Exercise #SwimPlay #SoTired 🥱.

#Zombies #EndOfTheWorld #Staggering #SoTired

After a while, even staggering would be tiring!

I’ve decided that I’m going to be mostly excising #uspol from my online discourse. As a humanist who actually cares about other people and knows evil from good, I’m simply exhausted with it all, cannot and will not tolerate #TFG, and already have enough issues to deal with in daily life as it is. I will continue to vote and participate in civics in my personal life, at least as much as our new monarch allows, but I’m done commenting on it all now. #sotired

I built a wall. A beautiful wall, everyone is saying that it's the best wall ever built.
Doggo supervised.
#DogsOfMastodon #DIY #SoTired

#Journal, Day 1648
Sunday, 22 September 2024
Ukraine War: Day 943
Hamas-Israel War: Day 350
Mass shootings in the USA in 2024: 404
Days until the 2024 Election: 44

First day of #autumn

#birdsofmastodon #hormones #lovebirdeggs
#matrix #anniversary #sotired

Nothing like an exhausting full-speed sprint to finish things before a hard launch deadline, only for the client to say that the deadline can be pushed back so additional work can be completed.

#SoTired

https://nkvssp.thecomicseries.com/comics/465

folding inwards

#Personal #housing #socialSecurity #FridayVibes #webcomics #webcomicchat #comicbookhour #comics #loss #medicaid #rules #penalties #search #accessible #accomodation #toolittle #sotired #fridaymoods #vibecheck

@cosmicallyf

I liked these two of many in a 2015 NYC subway - art installation?? They were particularly relevant to me - I was absolutely fed up at work & had just accepted a redundancy payout/early voluntary retirement.

(If made redundant in Australia, most pay agreements include a payout based on how long you've worked there. If also retiring early, there are generous tax concessions. I'd been there 24 years - it was a good farewell gift!)

#whybother
#sotired
#Unions for the win

Friday night in #Paris and it's all I can do not to crawl under a blanket and watch a Hallmark movie

#sotired #goodnews #overstimulated #actor #comedy #raplapla