#relationshipsatisfaction — Public Fediverse posts
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DATE: August 30, 2026 at 06:00AM
SOURCE: PSYPOST.ORG** Research quality varies widely from fantastic to small exploratory studies. Please check research methods when conclusions are very important to you. **
-------------------------------------------------TITLE: Emotional infidelity is linked to a surprising mix of dark and light personality traits
A recent study indicates that the tendency to become emotionally and mentally preoccupied with someone outside of a romantic relationship is driven by a complex mix of personality traits and relationship dynamics. The research suggests that this type of infidelity is not just tied to dark or impulsive personality traits, but also to generally positive characteristics like emotional sensitivity. The findings were published in Psychological Reports.
Infidelity is a common issue in romantic relationships, often leading to emotional distress and couples therapy. Historically, people have defined infidelity through physical acts, but modern perspectives recognize that subtle psychological behaviors also play a major role in relationship disengagement. One such phenomenon is extradyadic infatuation. This term describes a state where a person maintains their primary relationship but becomes cognitively, emotionally, and motivationally preoccupied with someone else.
To better grasp why some people develop these alternative attractions, scientists look at individual personality differences and relationship quality. For instance, a 2019 systematic review found that a combination of personal background and relationship dynamics strongly influences whether someone engages in infidelity.
Personality traits are often categorized into broad frameworks to understand interpersonal behavior. The Dark Triad consists of Machiavellianism (a tendency toward manipulation and emotional detachment), narcissism (an inflated sense of importance), and psychopathy (impulsivity and a lack of empathy). On the other hand, the Light Triad focuses on prosocial human characteristics. Introduced in a 2019 study, the Light Triad framework includes Kantianism (treating people as ends rather than means), humanism (valuing the dignity of individuals), and faith in humanity (believing in human goodness).
Another relevant trait is sociosexuality, which describes a person’s willingness to engage in casual sex without emotional commitment. Research, such as a 2021 study of young adults, indicates that dark personality traits and an openness to casual sex frequently interact to influence how people pursue short-term romantic encounters. The authors of the new study aimed to see how this blend of dark traits, light traits, sociosexuality, and relationship satisfaction predicts the specific experience of extradyadic infatuation.
“What initially caught our attention was the idea that infidelity is not always as straightforward as we tend to think,” said study author Teodora-Elena Huțanu, a PhD student at the Faculty of Psychology and Education Sciences at Alexandru Ioan Cuza University of Iași in Romania. “Rather than viewing infidelity simply as a matter of ‘good’ versus ‘bad’ people, we wanted to explore a more nuanced picture that considers Dark and Light Triad personality traits, sociosexuality, and relationship quality.”
The research involved a sample of 303 Romanian adults. Participants were between 19 and 64 years old and were currently in a committed romantic relationship. A key requirement for participation was that respondents had to report liking or feeling attracted to someone they knew personally, other than their current partner. Most of the participants were women, and the majority were married or in long-term relationships.
The respondents completed several questionnaires. They answered items assessing their Dark Triad and Light Triad traits. They also completed measures of their sociosexuality, rating their attitudes, behaviors, and desires regarding uncommitted sex. Finally, participants rated their current relationship satisfaction and the intensity of their extradyadic infatuation, which included their thoughts, emotions, and desires regarding their outside attraction.
In their initial analysis, the scientists found that people scoring higher on any of the Light Triad traits tended to report less extradyadic infatuation. Those scoring higher on Dark Triad traits, sociosexuality, or who had lower relationship satisfaction tended to report higher levels of infatuation.
When the researchers analyzed all these factors together to see which ones independently predicted extradyadic infatuation, a more complicated picture emerged. High psychopathy, high sociosexuality, and low relationship satisfaction reliably predicted greater preoccupation with an outside person. A lack of faith in humanity also predicted higher infatuation, suggesting that people with cynical views about others might invest less in their primary relationship and look elsewhere.
Interestingly, two traits behaved differently than expected once other variables were accounted for. Humanism, which initially seemed protective, became a positive predictor of infatuation. The researchers suggest that the emotional sensitivity and openness characteristic of humanism might make people more receptive to forming deep, emotionally meaningful connections with alternative partners.
In contrast, Machiavellianism became a negative predictor in the final analysis. Because extradyadic infatuation requires sustained emotional and cognitive energy, people high in Machiavellianism might avoid such intense attachments due to their preference for strategic, detached interactions. Narcissism and Kantianism did not emerge as statistically significant predictors in the final model.
“What surprised us most was that, even when looking at extradyadic infatuation as a more cognitive, emotional, and motivational form of infidelity, rather than simply as a behavioral transgression, some less adaptive psychological characteristics still remained relevant,” Huțanu explained. “At the same time, the unexpected changes in direction for Machiavellianism and Humanism were also particularly informative.”
“Our findings showed that both Dark and Light Triad traits contributed to its prediction, but in different directions,” Huțanu noted. “This is particularly interesting because it suggests that extradyadic infatuation cannot simply be understood as the result of being manipulative, impulsive, or otherwise ‘dark’.”
“Some of the characteristics involved may also reflect greater emotional receptivity and openness to meaningful interpersonal connections,” she added. “So, rather than asking whether someone who experiences extradyadic infatuation is simply a ‘good’ or ‘bad’ person, we may need to look at what kind of psychological and relational processes are making another person emotionally salient in the first place.”
The study has a few limitations to consider. The sample consisted mostly of women, which might restrict how well the results apply to men. Additionally, the researchers did not account for different relationship agreements, such as whether participants were in strictly monogamous partnerships or consensually non-monogamous arrangements. Open relationship structures might alter how traits like sociosexuality interact with relationship satisfaction.
“An important caveat is that we assessed extradyadic infatuation rather than actual infidelity behavior; therefore, we cannot determine whether participants acted sexually or otherwise on their attraction to an extradyadic person,” Huțanu said. “In addition, extradyadic infatuation may partly reflect an idealized or imagined representation of the other person, particularly when the actual interpersonal bond is limited.”
Because the data was collected at a single point in time, the findings cannot determine whether these personality traits cause infatuation, or if they simply tend to co-occur. “In my future research I would like to clarify how these cognitions and emotions unfold over time and whether extradyadic infatuation ultimately translates into behavioral infidelity or sustained extradyadic relationships,” Huțanu explained. “I am quite confident that this research is only the beginning of a broader effort to highlight more nuanced and comprehensive perspectives on infidelity, which may be psychologically more complex than its behavioral expression suggests.”
The study, “Personality, Relationship Quality, and Infidelity: Extradyadic Infatuation as Predicted by Dark and Light Triad Traits, Sociosexuality and Relationship Satisfaction,” was authored by Teodora-Elena Huțanu and Andrei Corneliu Holman.
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#psychology #counseling #socialwork #psychotherapy @psychotherapist @psychotherapists @psychology @socialpsych @socialwork @psychiatry #mentalhealth #psychiatry #healthcare #depression #psychotherapist #EmotionalInfidelity #ExtradyadicInfatuation #DarkTriad #LightTriad #Sociosexuality #RelationshipSatisfaction #PsychologicalResearch #InfidelityInsights #Humanism #Machiavellianism
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DATE: August 28, 2026 at 07:00AM
SOURCE: PSYPOST.ORG** Research quality varies widely from fantastic to small exploratory studies. Please check research methods when conclusions are very important to you. **
-------------------------------------------------TITLE: Couples who share awe-inspiring experiences report greater relationship flourishing
Experiencing feelings of awe alongside a romantic partner is linked to greater relationship satisfaction and depth. A recent study suggests that these shared moments of wonder foster a stronger sense of connection and relational growth, providing benefits beyond what individual experiences of awe offer. The research was published in The Journal of Positive Psychology.
Awe is an emotion triggered by encountering something vast that challenges a person’s existing understanding of the world. This feeling can arise from seeing a breathtaking natural landscape, listening to a moving piece of music, or experiencing a moment of profound scientific insight. Compared to simple happiness, awe tends to be a self-transcendent emotion. It reduces a person’s focus on themselves and encourages open-mindedness.
A 2022 review detailed how experiencing awe shifts attention outward, fostering social connection, a heightened sense of meaning, and prosocial behavior. Expanding on these personal effects, a study covered by PsyPost in 2022 indicated that awe increases a person’s motivation to pursue their authentic self, driven by these very feelings of self-transcendence.
While prior research highlights the personal benefits of awe, studies focusing on individually induced awe in romantic contexts have yielded mixed results. The authors of the new study reasoned that awe might be most impactful for couples when it is a shared experience. Sharing emotional events is known to intensify feelings and help partners build intimacy.
“My research focuses on awe and its relationship to psychological depth,” said lead author Matteo Perini, a PhD candidate in social and cultural psychology at the Behavioural Science Institute at Radboud University. “One idea that has become central to my work is that awe may be one route into depth: by confronting us with something vast that goes beyond our current frame of reference, it may push us to revise our mental models and engage with things at a deeper level.”
“This study extends that question into romantic relationships: can awe, when experienced together, help two people connect more deeply?” Perini added.
The research involved two online studies. The first study recruited 198 adults who were in a romantic relationship. To participate, individuals had to be currently in love and report high levels of passionate love. The participants completed questionnaires measuring their general tendency to experience awe in daily life, the awe they experienced specifically with their partner, and their overall relationship satisfaction.
The scientists also measured self-other overlap, which is the degree to which a person feels their own identity merges with their partner’s identity. Participants indicated this overlap by adjusting a digital image of two circles, one representing themselves and the other representing their partner, until the circles reflected their perceived level of connection.
The authors found that shared awe positively predicted relationship satisfaction, passionate love, and self-other overlap. When the researchers looked at general awe and shared awe together in the same statistical model, only shared awe remained a positive predictor of these relationship outcomes. A person’s general tendency to experience awe on their own did not account for unique positive variance when shared awe was considered.
To expand on these initial findings, the researchers conducted a second study with 306 romantically involved adults. In this group, participants did not have to report being currently in love. The scientists measured the same concepts as the first study but added new variables to capture different layers of relationship depth. These included relationship flourishing, which reflects a meaning-oriented dimension of relationship growth, such as seeking out shared purpose rather than just feeling pleasant.
The team also measured a person’s willingness to sacrifice for their partner and relational quiet ego. Relational quiet ego describes a state of reduced self-focus combined with greater perspective-taking and inclusivity within the relationship. To ensure shared awe was distinct from simply having fun together or doing novel things, the researchers also tracked shared amusement and the frequency of awe-related activities, such as visiting unfamiliar locations or attending collective events.
The results of the second study indicated that shared awe was a strong predictor of relationship satisfaction, even when accounting for shared amusement and the frequency of awe-related activities. Shared awe also positively predicted self-other overlap, willingness to sacrifice, relational quiet ego, and relationship flourishing.
The scientists analyzed how shared awe might link to relationship satisfaction through these different psychological pathways. They found that the association was primarily explained by indirect pathways involving relationship flourishing, self-other overlap, and a willingness to sacrifice. Relationship flourishing emerged as the strongest pathway, suggesting that shared awe is closely tied to a sense of shared meaning and relational growth. Relational quiet ego did not provide unique explanatory value in this specific model.
“I was surprised by how strongly shared awe was related to relationship flourishing,” Perini told PsyPost. “In our second study, shared awe alone accounted for about half of the variance in flourishing, which was considerably stronger than I had expected.”
“Sometimes these strong correlations are observed because two scales are very similar to each other, but in this case the two measures were substantially different, one about shared experiences of awe, and the other about meaning and growth in the relationship,” he explained.
Interestingly, when shared awe was accounted for, a person’s individual tendency to experience awe became negatively associated with relationship satisfaction.
“I would treat that particular finding cautiously until it is replicated, but it raises an interesting possibility,” Perini said. “Awe may be especially beneficial for a relationship when it becomes something partners share, rather than something one person primarily experiences outside the relationship.”
The findings are in line with research covered by PsyPost in 2025, which found that awe promotes a deep sense of psychological overlap and unity with large social groups. The new study suggests a similar merging process happens on an interpersonal level between romantic partners.
“I wouldn’t translate this into ‘couples should constantly chase spectacular experiences,'” Perini noted. “But it does suggest that there may be value in making room for wonder together, whether through nature, art, music, travel, learning something new, spiritual experiences, or simply encountering something familiar in a different way.”
The data relied solely on self-reported questionnaires from one partner in the relationship. The authors recommended that future studies collect data from both partners to see how they might agree or differ in their perceptions of shared wonder.
The researchers also noted a few details about the study’s design that affect how the results can be interpreted. “The biggest caveat is that the two studies in this paper are cross-sectional and rely on self-report, so they cannot establish that shared awe causes better relationships,” Perini explained. “The reverse is also plausible: people who are already in satisfying and deeper relationships may simply be more likely to experience their lives together as awe-inspiring.”
“Since completing this work, however, we have also run a separate experiment in which dyads were exposed to awe, and we observed that participants in the awe condition were able to connect at a deeper level,” Perini said. “Those results are not part of the present paper and we are still preparing them for publication, but they provide experimental support for the broader idea that awe can affect interpersonal depth, rather than merely being correlated with it.”
Moving forward, the researchers hope to explore the exact role these shared emotional experiences play in long-term romantic bonds. Observing couples in their daily lives or testing awe-inducing activities over time could help determine whether awe fundamentally changes the level at which people reflect and connect.
“We are currently preparing another paper on what we call partner-induced awe: the experience of feeling awe toward one’s own romantic partner,” Perini said. “Our findings suggest that this may matter even in long-term relationships.”
“To me, this pushes against the idea that awe belongs only to spectacular, once-in-a-lifetime experiences, or that it is something we direct toward powerful or distant people,” he explained. “In long-term relationships, that capacity may be particularly valuable because familiarity can so easily turn into taking the other person for granted.”
The study, “United in wonder: shared awe is associated with satisfaction and depth in romantic relationships,” was authored by Matteo Perini, Lou Mier, Hein van Schie, Jasper de Groot, and Johan Karremans.
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#psychology #counseling #socialwork #psychotherapy @psychotherapist @psychotherapists @psychology @socialpsych @socialwork @psychiatry #mentalhealth #psychiatry #healthcare #depression #psychotherapist #SharedAwe #RomanticRelationshipGoals #RelationshipSatisfaction #CouplesTherapy #AweInRelationships #RelationalDepth #SelfOtherOverlap #RelationshipFlourishing #MeaningTogether #RelationshipScience
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DATE: August 18, 2026 at 06:00AM
SOURCE: PSYPOST.ORG** Research quality varies widely from fantastic to small exploratory studies. Please check research methods when conclusions are very important to you. **
-------------------------------------------------TITLE: Mindful partners use less hostile ways to say no to sex, study finds
URL: https://www.psypost.org/mindful-partners-use-less-hostile-ways-to-say-no-to-sex/
Saying no to a partner’s sexual advances is a common and inevitable part of romantic relationships, but how a person communicates that rejection matters. A recent psychological evaluation shows that people who are more mindful tend to turn down their partners with less hostility, which is associated with better relationship and sexual satisfaction. The research was published in The Journal of Sex Research.
Declining sex can be an emotionally sensitive event. Rejection is generally considered one of the most painful interpersonal experiences in life, and when it occurs in the context of sexual intimacy, the stakes often feel much higher. In monogamous partnerships, being rejected sexually might signal a failure to meet a partner’s physical needs, raising the emotional costs of the moment. The way the declining partner handles the situation makes a difference in how both people feel afterward.
Researchers categorize sexual rejection strategies into four main types. Reassuring strategies involve expressing continued love and positive regard while turning down sex. Hostile strategies involve rejecting a partner in ways that are critical or intentionally hurtful. Assertive strategies are direct and confident refusals that do not necessarily cushion the message. Finally, deflecting strategies involve passive or avoidant behaviors, such as pretending not to notice the partner’s advances.
Psychologists are looking at how mindfulness might influence these interactions. Mindfulness is the ability to maintain present-moment awareness with an open and nonjudgmental attitude. While originally studied as an internal, individual process, the trait is increasingly connected to better interpersonal skills like emotional regulation and empathy. A mindful individual should theoretically be better equipped to inhibit reactive, unkind responses and prioritize behaviors that protect long-term relationship goals.
Jiaxuan Du, a psychology researcher at the University of Edinburgh, led a team to investigate whether mindfulness helps people navigate sexual rejection. They wanted to test whether mindful individuals use more constructive communication and experience higher satisfaction. To do this, they designed three distinct studies using survey, experimental, and long-term observational methods.
In their first test, Du and colleagues surveyed 383 adults who were in romantic relationships. The participants were roughly evenly split by gender, about 39 years old on average, and had been in their current relationships for an average of 14 years. The participants answered questions about their general tendency to be mindful in daily life, an attribute known as trait mindfulness. They also reported how often they used each of the four sexual rejection strategies, along with their overall relationship and sexual happiness.
The researchers found that people with higher trait mindfulness reported using fewer hostile and deflecting strategies. When accounting for other relationship variables like age and sexual frequency, mindful individuals also reported using more assertive rejection strategies. They did not find a link between trait mindfulness and reassuring rejection behaviors.
The team also used statistical models to test for an indirect pathway connecting these traits. They found that the tendency to avoid hostile and deflecting responses helped explain why mindful people felt more satisfied with their sex lives and relationships. The reduction in negative communication acted as a bridge between the mindful personality trait and overall happiness.
To see if mindfulness could cause a direct change in behavior, the team designed a second study with 409 different participants. They wanted to test state mindfulness, which is a temporary mindset that fluctuates, rather than a permanent personality trait. They randomly assigned half the group to listen to a five-minute guided mindfulness audio exercise. The other half listened to an educational audio clip about the solar system.
Participants read a hypothetical scenario where their partner wanted to have sex and they did not. They then rated how likely they were to use various rejection strategies. They also answered questions about their current state of mindfulness before and after the audio clips to verify if the manipulation actually changed their mindset.
The brief audio exercise did raise state mindfulness slightly, but it did not alter how participants chose to reject their partners. The results showing intended rejection strategies between the two groups were not statistically significant. The audio exercise was likely too brief to create a profound behavioral shift.
However, the researchers had also measured the participants’ baseline state of mindfulness before the audio clips were played. When analyzing those initial scores, they found that people who entered the study in a more mindful state intended to use more reassuring strategies. Consistent with the first test, those with higher initial mindfulness also showed an indirect link to relationship satisfaction through a tendency to use less hostile rejection.
For the third test, the team tracked 193 participants who lived with their romantic partners over an eight-week period. At the beginning of the study, the participants completed a survey assessing their baseline trait mindfulness. Then, once a week, they reported on their sex lives, relationship happiness, and how they had rejected any sexual advances during the previous seven days.
Because the researchers were using an existing dataset, they only had data on hostile and reassuring strategies. Over the two months, individuals with higher baseline mindfulness consistently reported using fewer hostile rejection strategies in their real-life interactions. They did not necessarily use more reassuring strategies.
Once again, the longitudinal data revealed an indirect connection. Lower levels of hostile rejection accounted for the link between high trait mindfulness and better weekly sexual and relationship satisfaction. The results replicated the findings from the previous studies, suggesting that mindfulness primarily serves as a buffer against negative rejection behaviors rather than a promoter of positive ones.
The research team noted a few limitations in their work. The five-minute audio clip in the second test was likely too weak to induce a genuine mindful state, limiting the ability to establish cause and effect. The reliance on self-reported data and hypothetical scenarios in the earlier tests also leaves room for participants to answer in ways that make them look better than their actual behavior would reflect.
Future investigations should use more intensive mindfulness training to see if communication habits can be actively changed. It would also be useful to evaluate how the rejected partner perceives the interaction. Rejection involves two people experiencing the same event from different perspectives, and understanding both sides is necessary for a complete picture of relationship health.
The studies did not assess how frequently the couples experienced sexual rejection. In relationships where rejection occurs frequently due to mismatched sexual desires or physical dysfunction, the link between mindfulness and communication might operate differently. Finally, the participant pool was predominantly white and heterosexual, meaning the patterns might look different in other cultural contexts or relationship structures.
These findings could be highly relevant for individuals navigating desire discrepancies in their relationships. By reducing hostility, mindfulness helps partners navigate moments of sexual misalignment in ways that preserve connection and well-being.
The study, “Turning Down, Tuning In: How Mindfulness Shapes Sexual Rejection, Relationship Satisfaction, and Sexual Satisfaction,” was authored by Jiaxuan Du, Kiersten Dobson, Emily A. Impett, and Sarah C. E. Stanton.
URL: https://www.psypost.org/mindful-partners-use-less-hostile-ways-to-say-no-to-sex/
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#psychology #counseling #socialwork #psychotherapy @psychotherapist @psychotherapists @psychology @socialpsych @socialwork @psychiatry #mentalhealth #psychiatry #healthcare #depression #psychotherapist #MindfulnessInRelationships #SexualRejectionCommunication #HealthyBoundarySetting #MindfulListening #RelationshipSatisfaction #SexualCommunication #NonHostileRejection #EmotionalRegulation #ImpactOfMindfulness #HealthyRelationships
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DATE: August 17, 2026 at 02:00PM
SOURCE: PSYPOST.ORG** Research quality varies widely from fantastic to small exploratory studies. Please check research methods when conclusions are very important to you. **
-------------------------------------------------TITLE: Sexually assertive individuals tend to be more satisfied with their relationships, study finds
An online survey in Italy found that sexually assertive individuals tend to be more satisfied with their relationships. Sexual esteem was associated with both body appreciation and sexual assertiveness. The paper was published in Behavioral Sciences.
Satisfaction in romantic relationships refers to how positively people evaluate the quality of their partnership and their feelings toward their partner. High relationship satisfaction is consistently associated with greater happiness, better mental and physical health, lower stress, and even longer life expectancy.
Relationship satisfaction is shaped by many factors. Sexuality is one of them. It contributes to relationship quality not only in terms of sexual activity but also in how openly partners can communicate about their desires, needs, and boundaries. One concept that captures this ability is sexual assertiveness, which includes being able to initiate wanted sexual activity, refuse unwanted activity, communicate preferences, and negotiate safer sex.
Another important concept is sexual esteem—the extent to which people view themselves as worthy, competent, and confident sexual partners. Body appreciation, i.e., a positive attitude towards one’s body, which means accepting, respecting, and valuing it despite perceived imperfections, can also be important for relationship quality.
Study author Marco Rizzo and his colleagues conducted a study in which they examined the associations between body appreciation, sexual assertiveness, sexual esteem, and relationship satisfaction. They hypothesized that higher body appreciation would be associated with higher sexual assertiveness and sexual esteem, and that both sexual esteem and sexual assertiveness would be associated with better relationship satisfaction.
These authors analyzed responses from 473 participants from a larger study who declared that they were in a romantic relationship and heterosexual. Participants’ average age was 23 years. 97% of them were Italian citizens. 82% resided in central Italy. 50% were men. The average length of their relationship was 3 years.
This analysis used data from assessments of sexual assertiveness (the Sexual Assertiveness Questionnaire), body appreciation (the Body Appreciation Scale), sexual esteem (the Sexual Esteem Subscale of the Multidimensional Sexuality Scale), and relationship satisfaction (the Dyadic-Familiar Relationship Satisfaction Scale) that participants completed. They also used the demographic data.
Results showed that men tended to report greater body appreciation and sexual esteem than women. Participants with higher sexual assertiveness tended to report higher relationship satisfaction. While initial data showed weak links between relationship satisfaction and both body appreciation and sexual esteem, the final statistical model revealed that sexual esteem and body appreciation were not directly associated with relationship satisfaction.
Study authors tested a statistical model proposing that body appreciation leads to better sexual esteem and sexual assertiveness, and that these psychological characteristics would, in turn, lead to better relationship satisfaction. Results showed that body appreciation may indeed lead to better sexual esteem, and, through this link, to better sexual assertiveness. Higher sexual assertiveness could, according to this model, lead to better relationship satisfaction, although sexual esteem itself did not directly predict relationship satisfaction.
“These findings underscore a process through which sexual assertiveness and body appreciation can enhance relational well-being and inform educational programs aimed at promoting healthy romantic relationships,” study authors concluded.
The study contributes to the scientific knowledge about romantic relationships. However, the design of the study does not allow any causal inferences to be derived from the results. Additionally, all data came from self-reports, leaving room for reporting bias to have affected the results.
The paper, “Satisfaction in Romantic Relationships: The Role of Body Appreciation, Sexual Esteem and Sexual Assertiveness,” was authored by Marco Rizzo, Camilla Matera, Daniela Caso, Anna Rosa Donizzetti, Caterina Grano, Amanda Nerini, and Chiara Rollero.
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#psychology #counseling #socialwork #psychotherapy @psychotherapist @psychotherapists @psychology @socialpsych @socialwork @psychiatry #mentalhealth #psychiatry #healthcare #depression #psychotherapist #SexualAssertiveness #RelationshipSatisfaction #BodyAppreciation #SexualEsteem #RomanticRelationships #RelationshipWellbeing #SexualityResearch #DatingTips #MentalHealthAndRelationships #BehavioralSciences
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DATE: August 8, 2026 at 06:00AM
SOURCE: PSYPOST.ORG** Research quality varies widely from fantastic to small exploratory studies. Please check research methods when conclusions are very important to you. **
-------------------------------------------------TITLE: Is sexting good for your relationship? Psychological research points to one important factor
Engaging in digital sexual activities like sexting with a romantic partner can be a positive or negative experience depending on the underlying reasons for doing so. New research published in The Journal of Sex Research indicates that seeking intimacy and pleasure through digital sexual exchanges is linked to higher relationship and sexual satisfaction. Participating simply to avoid negative outcomes is associated with lower satisfaction across multiple areas of a person’s life.
Technology-mediated sexual interactions refer to sharing self-created sexual material through digital communication devices. This broad category includes activities like sending sexually explicit text messages, exchanging intimate photographs or videos, and engaging in phone sex. Many people in committed romantic relationships use these digital tools to connect with their partners. For some couples, these interactions function as a way to maintain intimacy across long physical distances.
Previous studies on the outcomes of these digital sexual behaviors have yielded mixed findings. Some research suggests that sexting boosts relationship happiness and individual well-being. Other studies link it to increased relationship conflict and negative emotional states.
“This research was motivated both by a debate in the existing research on technology-mediated sexual interactions (TMSIs),” said study author Erin Leigh Courtice, a postdoctoral research associate working with the CARE Lab at Toronto Metropolitan University. “The literature in this area has been contradictory. Our interpretation was that these inconsistencies were because researchers hadn’t examined the motivations that underlie people’s TMSI use with a romantic partner.”
To understand these conflicting findings, Courtice and her colleagues applied a psychological concept known as the approach-avoidance motivational framework. “Basically, what this theory states is that people can engage in a behavior, including a sexual behavior, with approach or avoidance motives,” Courtice said.
“Approach motives drive people towards a specific outcome, e.g., engaging in sexual activity to gain sexual pleasure, or a closer connection with someone,” Courtice detailed. “Avoidance motives drive people away from a specific outcome, e.g., engaging in a sexual activity to try and prevent a relational conflict or a breakup.”
Typically, seeking positive outcomes builds satisfaction, but acting out of fear damages it. Courtice noted that this framework is well-established for physical intimacy, but “this theory hasn’t been tested with technology-mediated sexual contexts, so we also wanted to see if this pattern that we see for in-person sexual behaviors would hold in a new context.”
In the first phase of their research, the scientists recruited 269 university students who were in committed romantic relationships. The participants were mostly young adults, with an average age of 19, and the group included roughly 55 percent women and 41 percent men. About 40 percent of these participants were currently in a long-distance relationship. The participants completed a detailed survey about their digital sexual behaviors and motivations.
Because no standard questionnaire existed for this specific purpose, the researchers created a new scale to measure why people participate in digital sexual interactions. They adapted questions from previous surveys used for in-person sexual behaviors and added new questions specific to technology. The initial phase suggested that motivations for digital sexual interactions generally fall into three separate categories: approach motives, avoidance motives, and affirmation motives.
Affirmation motives specifically involve seeking reassurance or validation about one’s physical desirability. “We found that some people also reported TMSI motives related to seeking affirmation, specifically, seeking validation about one’s body and desirability,” Courtice noted. “We didn’t examine this too closely, but I think there would be some interesting things to unpack about whether those motives relate to higher vs. lower sexual and relationship satisfaction.”
The statistical analysis also indicated that participants viewed their satisfaction with digital sexual activities as distinct from their satisfaction with in-person sexual activities. This finding suggests that digital and physical sexual experiences are processed differently by individuals in romantic relationships. Similarly, the participants’ desire for digital sexual interactions was mathematically distinct from their desire for physical intimacy.
To test how these different motivations relate to overall well-being, the scientists conducted a second study with 459 adults in committed relationships. This group was older and more diverse, with an average age of 30, and was recruited from online survey platforms alongside university pools. Participants completed the refined motivation questionnaire from the first study, as well as measures assessing their overall life satisfaction, relationship satisfaction, and the specific frequency of their digital sexual interactions.
The researchers initially guessed that individuals using avoidance motives would engage in digital sexual activities less often. “We predicted that people who engaged in TMSI less often would report more avoidance motives,” Courtice told PsyPost. “We thought that this kind of reluctant, defensive engagement would suppress frequency.”
The data told a different story. “But we actually saw the opposite: TMSI frequency was positively associated with avoidance motives,” Courtice explained. Frequent digital sex was not tied to just one type of goal, as individuals seemed to use technology for various reasons throughout their relationship.
This counterintuitive finding indicates that using avoidance strategies can still reinforce a behavior if it successfully averts the feared outcome. “This might suggest that someone who sexts, for example, to prevent a break-up often does get the outcome they were trying to avoid, which reinforces both the behavior and the motive, even while the broader satisfaction picture is worse,” Courtice added.
Despite happening frequently, these two types of motivations were associated with entirely different emotional and relational outcomes. “The honest answer to ‘is sexting good or bad for a relationship?’ is that the question is misspecified,” Courtice summarized. “What predicted outcomes in our data weren’t whether or how often couples engaged, but the motivation behind it.”
“In our research, people who more often engaged in TMSI with their partners for approach reasons, e.g., pursuing intimacy, pleasure, enhancement, building toward in-person sex, reported higher satisfaction with their technology-mediated sexual life, their in-person sexual life, and their relationship,” Courtice said.
The opposite was true for those seeking to avoid a negative result. “People who more often engaged in TMSI with their partners for avoidance reasons, e.g., appeasing a partner, coping with negative feelings, trying to prevent conflict or rejection, or sidestepping in-person sex, reported lower in-person sexual satisfaction and lower relationship satisfaction,” Courtice explained.
“For both of these, the pathway ran largely through desire for one’s partner,” Courtice noted. “Approach motives predicted stronger dyadic sexual desire, which in turn predicted higher satisfaction across sexual, relationship, and life domains. Conversely, avoidance motives predicted weaker desire, which in turn predicted lower satisfaction across those same domains.”
To understand the real-world impact of these psychological dynamics, the researchers calculated how much these motivations actually explain variations in couples’ overall happiness. “The associations were importantly moderate, and not the same for every outcome that we measured,” Courtice said. “The largest effect sizes were on technology-specific outcomes: approach motives and technology-mediated sexual satisfaction, and approach motives and desire for technology-mediated sex with one’s partner.”
As the outcomes moved further away from specific digital interactions, the statistical associations weakened. “The amount of variance explained drops off sharply as you move away from the sexual domain,” Courtice pointed out.
“We saw that motives and desire together accounted for about 35% of the variance in in-person sexual satisfaction and 27% in relationship satisfaction, but only 8% in life satisfaction,” Courtice elaborated. “So these approach and avoidance motives for TMSI were meaningfully related to how people feel about their sex lives and relationships, but only faintly related to how they feel about their lives overall.”
The study relied on data collected at a single point in time, meaning it cannot establish a strict chain of cause and effect. “This was also a cross-sectional study, so we can’t say for sure that there is a causal relationship here, just that these different motivational styles are correlated with different levels of sexual, relationship, and life satisfaction,” Courtice explained. It is highly possible that existing relationship dissatisfaction causes people to rely on avoidance motives, rather than the motives causing the relationship issues.
The research also focused exclusively on couples who were already exchanging digital sexual material. “Study eligibility required that our participants were in a committed relationship with someone they had engaged in TMSI with, so our findings describe variation among people already doing this, and don’t adjudicate whether someone should start sexting with their partner if they aren’t already,” Courtice said.
Sending an intimate digital message is not a guaranteed fix for relationship problems, nor is it inherently destructive. “One big one: we didn’t necessarily find that sexting is either wholly good or wholly bad for relationships,” Courtice clarified. “We found that ‘it depends on the motives behind sexting’.”
By paying attention to underlying goals, partners can better navigate digital communication. “So, for anyone in a relationship: if you’re thinking about sexting with your partner, it’s useful to question why you want to,” Courtice advised. “If it’s for those more ‘approach’ motives, it might be beneficial, but if it’s because you’re trying to avoid or prevent something negative, it may be less beneficial.”
The study, “It’s Not What You Do, it’s Why: Motives and Outcomes of Technology-Mediated Sexual Interactions in Romantic Relationships,” was authored by Erin Leigh Courtice, Vesna Beljo, and Krystelle Shaughnessy.
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4 Ways Porn Use is Shaped by Relationship Fears
Originally Published on December 30th, 2025 at 11:58 amBeyond Addiction
When we talk about porn use, the conversation often gets stuck in simple, black-and-white narratives of morality or addiction. We tend to focus on how much someone is watching, rather than asking a more fundamental question: why? While these discussions are common, they often miss a deeper, more nuanced psychological story that’s playing out behind our screens.
What if our relationship with pornography isn’t just a habit, but a reflection of our most basic patterns of connecting with other people? This is the central idea behind attachment theory. It suggests that our earliest bonds with caregivers shape how we approach intimacy, trust, and emotional closeness throughout our lives. These deep-seated patterns are known as our “attachment style.”
A recent systematic review of 10 scientific studies has begun to connect these dots. It’s uncovered surprising links between our attachment styles and our pornography habits.
This article explores the four most impactful takeaways from that research.
It reveals how our fundamental needs for connection, and our fears of rejection, can shape what happens when we’re alone with a screen.
1. For some men, porn use is linked to better relationship satisfaction
Attachment styles are patterns in how we connect with others, stemming from our early life experiences. “Anxious attachment” style, for example, creates a deep desire for intimacy but lives with a persistent fear of rejection or abandonment.
Counterintuitively, one major study reviewed by the researchers (Maas et al., 2018) found that for men with this anxious attachment style, porn use was actually associated with higher relationship satisfaction.
This finding becomes even more striking when contrasted with the results for women in the same study.
For anxiously attached women, porn use was associated with lower relationship satisfaction.
This sharp gender difference underscores a crucial point: the effects of pornography are not one-size-fits-all.
They are deeply intertwined with our individual psychology, our gender, and our attachment style. This suggests that for anxious men, pornography might act as a low-stakes supplement that doesn’t trigger their core fear of abandonment. Whereas, for anxious women, it may directly activate it.
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2. Problematic porn use can be a way to cope with a fear of real intimacy
The review highlights a powerful theme: for those with insecure attachment styles, pornography offers a sense of connection without the perceived risks of real-world emotional intimacy.
This is particularly true for individuals with an avoidant attachment style. They often fear being engulfed by a relationship and losing their independence. Research shows that for this group, addictive cybersex use can become a direct substitute for the emotional closeness they find threatening.
While both anxious and avoidant individuals may turn to pornography, their motivations often differ.
Someone with an avoidant style might use it to replace an intimacy they fear. However, someone with an anxious style might use it to soothe anxiety about a connection they crave.
In both cases, porn use can become a substitute for genuine connection when real relationships feel too overwhelming.
The review synthesizes this concept perfectly:
When people with insecure attachments use pornography to satisfy their relational needs of comfort, they engage in little or less emotional closeness and commitment, which allays their worries of abandonment and separation.
This reframes problematic use not merely as an addiction, but as a potentially maladaptive strategy for managing deep-seated relational fears of either being left alone or being consumed by another.
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3. For anxiously attached women, porn use is linked to body insecurity; specifically when they’re in a relationship
Another study in the review (Gerwitz-Meydan et al., 2021) uncovered a highly specific link for women with an anxious attachment style.
For these women, an association between their attachment style and porn use was found only if they were currently in a relationship. For single women with the same attachment style, there was no significant association.
The research identified a crucial factor driving this connection: body image self-consciousness. The study found that pornography use acted as a mediator between anxious attachment and body image issues.
In simple terms, this means that for anxiously attached women in a relationship, viewing pornography may trigger or intensify insecurities about their own bodies.
This, in turn, can activate their underlying attachment-related fears of being inadequate for their partner. Porn use directly threatens their sense of security and stoking their core fear of abandonment.
Do you believe you have an online pornography addiction? Take the free Cyber Pornography Addiction Test (CYPAT) and have the results to speak with your therapist.
4. There’s a psychological link between ADHD, both anxious and avoidant attachment, and compulsive porn use.
The review also sheds light on the intersection of attachment, neurodiversity, and pornography.
One study (Niazof et al., 2019) found that problematic pornography use in men with ADHD was linked to both anxious and avoidant attachment styles, but in different ways.
Higher levels of anxious attachment were linked to excessive pornography use, while avoidant attachment was associated with higher levels of problematic use.
The researchers point to a potential explanation for this link: the “incentive deficit” that is often a characteristic of ADHD.
This concept suggests that individuals with ADHD may be more drawn to highly stimulating, novel, and instantly gratifying behaviors. It helps ADHD porn users to compensate for a brain that may be under-stimulated by everyday rewards.
When combined with insecure attachment, this creates a potent mix.
For the anxiously attached man with ADHD, pornography might serve as an easily accessible tool to soothe relational anxiety.
For the avoidantly attached man with ADHD, it may be a compelling substitute for the real-world intimacy he fears. It fulfills a need for stimulation without triggering his fear of closeness.
Conclusion: Beyond How Much to Why
The research clearly shows that our relationship with pornography is more complex than self-control or moral standing.
It can be a powerful and often unconscious reflection of our deepest relational patterns. It reveals our unmet needs for connection, and our most profound fears of intimacy and rejection.
This perspective invites us to shift the conversation.
Instead of focusing solely on the behavior itself, perhaps the more important question to ask is: What deeper needs and fears is this behavior trying to meet?
Share how this post spoke to you, or about someone you love. Do you believe you use pornography to compensate for your attachment style? Why or why not?
Are you looking for more reputable data-backed information on sexual addiction? The Mitigation Aide Research Archive is an excellent source for executive summaries of research studies.
Have you found yourself in legal trouble due to your sexual behavior? Seek assistance before the court mandates it, with Sexual Addiction Treatment Services.
Do you feel your sexual behavior, or that of someone you love, is out of control? Consult with a professional.
#ADHDAndPornUse #anxiousAttachment #attachmentStyles #attachmentTheory #avoidantAttachment #bodyImageInsecurity #compulsivePornUse #couplesTherapy #cybersexAddiction #emotionalIntimacy #fearOfAbandonment #fearOfRejection #intimacyIssues #mentalHealth #pornUse #pornographyUse #problematicPornUse #relationalCoping #relationshipFears #relationshipSatisfaction #sexualHealth #shameAndSecrecy #trustAndConnection -
Satisfaction in romantic relationships significantly fluctuates over several days and even within a 24-hour period / Willingness to recognize and respond to the partner's needs is a key factor determining relationship satisfaction 👉 https://press.uni-mainz.de/satisfaction-in-romantic-relationships-significantly-fluctuates-over-several-days-and-even-within-a-24-hour-period/
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Satisfaction in #RomanticRelationships significantly fluctuates over several days and even within a 24-hour period / Willingness to recognize and respond to the partner's needs is a key factor determining #RelationshipSatisfaction // #psychology
https://nachrichten.idw-online.de/2025/06/16/satisfaction-in-romantic-relationships-significantly-fluctuates-over-several-days-and-even-within-a-24-hour-period -
The trajectory of love: Study reveals how relationship satisfaction changes over time https://www.psypost.org/the-trajectory-of-love-study-reveals-how-relationship-satisfaction-changes-over-time/?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=mastodon #RelationshipGoals #LoveResearch #RelationshipSatisfaction #LoveJourney #EmotionalHealth
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Women with heightened interoceptive awareness have more frequent and satisfying orgasms, study finds https://www.psypost.org/women-with-heightened-interoceptive-awareness-have-more-frequent-and-satisfying-orgasms-study-finds/?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=mastodon #FemaleOrgasm #Interoception #SexualHealth #WomenWellness #RelationshipSatisfaction
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Sexual boredom outweighs desire in predicting women’s relationship satisfaction https://www.psypost.org/sexual-boredom-outweighs-desire-in-predicting-womens-relationship-satisfaction/?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=mastodon #RelationshipSatisfaction #SexualBoredom #WomenInRelationships #Monogamy #Intimacy