#rectalsmegma — Public Fediverse posts

Brutal Sphincter – Sphinct-Earth Society Review

By Dolphin Whisperer

DEAR DOLPHY:

The world seems to grow more hostile by the minute, so I feel like I need to be more “on guard” with the media around me. So, I’ve been seeing this guy for a while now. He was going to therapy pretty regularly with a Dr. Moshe Pitt as part of maintaining a healthy outlook on life—or so he told me. But when I was at his place the other day, I saw this little booklet on his nightstand called Spinct-Earth Society. I did a little research on it, and it turns out that it’s a self-help book by some organization from Belgium called Brutal Sphincter. I confronted him about it, and he confessed in full to using only this manual—not a therapist! But he seems happier than ever, and things are going great? Should I be worried? Can Brutal Sphincter be trusted? — CLENCHED BUT CURIOUS.

DEAR CLENCHED BUT CURIOUS:

I think it’s natural to distrust Brutal Sphincter as an organization. You see, the crowd they hang out in—squealy scuzzmeisters like Gutalax, Rectal Smegma, and Torsofuck—doesn’t inspire much in the way of integrity and honesty. But Sphinct-Earth Society holds a mission a little separate from the extreme scatalogical nature of Shit Happens! (Gutalax, 2016) or the drunken party manifesto of To Serve and Protect (Rectal Smegma, 2025). As the world continues to turn and burn in its humanistic down-spiral, Brutal Sphincter calls for the absurd.

Yet, despite the gateway to sanity seeming closed—closed as your instincts, CLENCHED BUT CURIOUS, let them free!—an earnest base of death metal, saliva-bound like a pliable, welcome bolus, travels from mouth to gut-ears by an unstoppable groove. Brutal Sphincter puts in a touch more effort than your average meme-loaded goregrind act, using important topics like tough guy smearing of “Beatdown Syndrome” and border patrol bashing of “Abolish Frontex” to pull away, with thick and driving riffage, away from the expected oompa-skank. Sure, not every headline across Sphinct-Earth Society holds as much weight as the next (“The Juice Did It,” “Persona Non-Greta”). But with the continuous dual-mic assault of intelligible shouts and unintelligible, warped beatboxing, it doesn’t always take alignment with Brutal Sphincter’s causes to find a brutish release. After all, Sphinct-Earth Society’s thoughtful construction allows its pig-frenzy, impropriety-focused dialogue to unfold with punky abandon and affable suspension, a key factor in success for replacing someone like Dr. Moshe Pitt.

Sphinct-Earth Society remains so committed to the groove, however, that its institutional guitar demonstrations often hold less weight than its growling and kicking rhythmic accessories. In some situations, the urgent and playful kit presence that Julien Racine (Xaon) runs under more trope-leaning chapters like “Crusta-Colada (Crack’n Kofola)” and “Unvaxxed Lives Matter,” elevating the sermons of caffeinated Eastern Bloc aggression and public health naïveté.1 Yet, where the guitar would often run crunchier and with precise malice in a death metal lane, Brutal Sphincter keeps to a lower gain chug that rattle dull and blunt alongside a beefier bass rumble (“Beatdown Syndrome,” “Name Three Songs,” “The Juice Did It”). None of these sidesteps in tone derail the two-step in tow; they do cause a bit of amplified confusion, though. So I can see where you, CLENCHED BUT CURIOUS, may have had trouble parsing the full extent of Sphinct-Earth Society’s veracity—you have to vibe with where Brutal Sphincter stews in the low, gurgly, and rumbly goregrind halls.

Nevertheless, Brutal Sphincter intend to provide both laughter—the best medicine—and an easy-to-follow bounce and scowl. Satire via absurdism defines the narrative of Sphinct-Earth Society, and if your partner seems to be having better days at its pages, I think he got the memo. In this life, we all must find ways to cope with the frequently uncontrollable news-worthy happenings on the local, national, or worldwide scale—it’s far from easy. Some choose to do it with people like Dr. Moshe Pitt. Others, like your loved one, have chosen the path of the o-ring warrior. No need to worry, CLENCHED BUT CURIOUS, Brutal Sphincter has got a tight hold on the groovy path. And don’t be surprised if their earlier works end up on your partner’s mantle.

Rating: 3.0/5.0
DR: 5 | Format Reviewed: 320 kbps mp3
Label: Time to Kill Records | Bandcamp
Websites: brutalsphincter.bandcamp.com | facebook.com/brutalsphincter
Releases Worldwide: May 23rd, 2025

#2025 #30 #BelgianMetal #BrutalDeathMetal #BrutalSphincter #DeathMetal #Goregrind #Gutalax #May25 #RectalSmegma #Review #Reviews #SphinctEarthSociety #TimeToKillRecords #Torsofuck

Brutal Sphincter – Sphinct-Earth Society Review

By Dolphin Whisperer

DEAR DOLPHY:

The world seems to grow more hostile by the minute, so I feel like I need to be more “on guard” with the media around me. So, I’ve been seeing this guy for a while now. He was going to therapy pretty regularly with a Dr. Moshe Pitt as part of maintaining a healthy outlook on life—or so he told me. But when I was at his place the other day, I saw this little booklet on his nightstand called Spinct-Earth Society. I did a little research on it, and it turns out that it’s a self-help book by some organization from Belgium called Brutal Sphincter. I confronted him about it, and he confessed in full to using only this manual—not a therapist! But he seems happier than ever, and things are going great? Should I be worried? Can Brutal Sphincter be trusted? — CLENCHED BUT CURIOUS.

DEAR CLENCHED BUT CURIOUS:

I think it’s natural to distrust Brutal Sphincter as an organization. You see, the crowd they hang out in—squealy scuzzmeisters like Gutalax, Rectal Smegma, and Torsofuck—doesn’t inspire much in the way of integrity and honesty. But Sphinct-Earth Society holds a mission a little separate from the extreme scatalogical nature of Shit Happens! (Gutalax, 2016) or the drunken party manifesto of To Serve and Protect (Rectal Smegma, 2025). As the world continues to turn and burn in its humanistic down-spiral, Brutal Sphincter calls for the absurd.

Yet, despite the gateway to sanity seeming closed—closed as your instincts, CLENCHED BUT CURIOUS, let them free!—an earnest base of death metal, saliva-bound like a pliable, welcome bolus, travels from mouth to gut-ears by an unstoppable groove. Brutal Sphincter puts in a touch more effort than your average meme-loaded goregrind act, using important topics like tough guy smearing of “Beatdown Syndrome” and border patrol bashing of “Abolish Frontex” to pull away, with thick and driving riffage, away from the expected oompa-skank. Sure, not every headline across Sphinct-Earth Society holds as much weight as the next (“The Juice Did It,” “Persona Non-Greta”). But with the continuous dual-mic assault of intelligible shouts and unintelligible, warped beatboxing, it doesn’t always take alignment with Brutal Sphincter’s causes to find a brutish release. After all, Sphinct-Earth Society’s thoughtful construction allows its pig-frenzy, impropriety-focused dialogue to unfold with punky abandon and affable suspension, a key factor in success for replacing someone like Dr. Moshe Pitt.

Sphinct-Earth Society remains so committed to the groove, however, that its institutional guitar demonstrations often hold less weight than its growling and kicking rhythmic accessories. In some situations, the urgent and playful kit presence that Julien Racine (Xaon) runs under more trope-leaning chapters like “Crusta-Colada (Crack’n Kofola)” and “Unvaxxed Lives Matter,” elevating the sermons of caffeinated Eastern Bloc aggression and public health naïveté.1 Yet, where the guitar would often run crunchier and with precise malice in a death metal lane, Brutal Sphincter keeps to a lower gain chug that rattle dull and blunt alongside a beefier bass rumble (“Beatdown Syndrome,” “Name Three Songs,” “The Juice Did It”). None of these sidesteps in tone derail the two-step in tow; they do cause a bit of amplified confusion, though. So I can see where you, CLENCHED BUT CURIOUS, may have had trouble parsing the full extent of Sphinct-Earth Society’s veracity—you have to vibe with where Brutal Sphincter stews in the low, gurgly, and rumbly goregrind halls.

Nevertheless, Brutal Sphincter intend to provide both laughter—the best medicine—and an easy-to-follow bounce and scowl. Satire via absurdism defines the narrative of Sphinct-Earth Society, and if your partner seems to be having better days at its pages, I think he got the memo. In this life, we all must find ways to cope with the frequently uncontrollable news-worthy happenings on the local, national, or worldwide scale—it’s far from easy. Some choose to do it with people like Dr. Moshe Pitt. Others, like your loved one, have chosen the path of the o-ring warrior. No need to worry, CLENCHED BUT CURIOUS, Brutal Sphincter has got a tight hold on the groovy path. And don’t be surprised if their earlier works end up on your partner’s mantle.

Rating: 3.0/5.0
DR: 5 | Format Reviewed: 320 kbps mp3
Label: Time to Kill Records | Bandcamp
Websites: brutalsphincter.bandcamp.com | facebook.com/brutalsphincter
Releases Worldwide: May 23rd, 2025

#2025 #30 #BelgianMetal #BrutalDeathMetal #BrutalSphincter #DeathMetal #Goregrind #Gutalax #May25 #RectalSmegma #Review #Reviews #SphinctEarthSociety #TimeToKillRecords #Torsofuck

Brutal Sphincter – Sphinct-Earth Society Review

By Dolphin Whisperer

DEAR DOLPHY:

The world seems to grow more hostile by the minute, so I feel like I need to be more “on guard” with the media around me. So, I’ve been seeing this guy for a while now. He was going to therapy pretty regularly with a Dr. Moshe Pitt as part of maintaining a healthy outlook on life—or so he told me. But when I was at his place the other day, I saw this little booklet on his nightstand called Spinct-Earth Society. I did a little research on it, and it turns out that it’s a self-help book by some organization from Belgium called Brutal Sphincter. I confronted him about it, and he confessed in full to using only this manual—not a therapist! But he seems happier than ever, and things are going great? Should I be worried? Can Brutal Sphincter be trusted? — CLENCHED BUT CURIOUS.

DEAR CLENCHED BUT CURIOUS:

I think it’s natural to distrust Brutal Sphincter as an organization. You see, the crowd they hang out in—squealy scuzzmeisters like Gutalax, Rectal Smegma, and Torsofuck—doesn’t inspire much in the way of integrity and honesty. But Sphinct-Earth Society holds a mission a little separate from the extreme scatalogical nature of Shit Happens! (Gutalax, 2016) or the drunken party manifesto of To Serve and Protect (Rectal Smegma, 2025). As the world continues to turn and burn in its humanistic down-spiral, Brutal Sphincter calls for the absurd.

Yet, despite the gateway to sanity seeming closed—closed as your instincts, CLENCHED BUT CURIOUS, let them free!—an earnest base of death metal, saliva-bound like a pliable, welcome bolus, travels from mouth to gut-ears by an unstoppable groove. Brutal Sphincter puts in a touch more effort than your average meme-loaded goregrind act, using important topics like tough guy smearing of “Beatdown Syndrome” and border patrol bashing of “Abolish Frontex” to pull away, with thick and driving riffage, away from the expected oompa-skank. Sure, not every headline across Sphinct-Earth Society holds as much weight as the next (“The Juice Did It,” “Persona Non-Greta”). But with the continuous dual-mic assault of intelligible shouts and unintelligible, warped beatboxing, it doesn’t always take alignment with Brutal Sphincter’s causes to find a brutish release. After all, Sphinct-Earth Society’s thoughtful construction allows its pig-frenzy, impropriety-focused dialogue to unfold with punky abandon and affable suspension, a key factor in success for replacing someone like Dr. Moshe Pitt.

Sphinct-Earth Society remains so committed to the groove, however, that its institutional guitar demonstrations often hold less weight than its growling and kicking rhythmic accessories. In some situations, the urgent and playful kit presence that Julien Racine (Xaon) runs under more trope-leaning chapters like “Crusta-Colada (Crack’n Kofola)” and “Unvaxxed Lives Matter,” elevating the sermons of caffeinated Eastern Bloc aggression and public health naïveté.1 Yet, where the guitar would often run crunchier and with precise malice in a death metal lane, Brutal Sphincter keeps to a lower gain chug that rattle dull and blunt alongside a beefier bass rumble (“Beatdown Syndrome,” “Name Three Songs,” “The Juice Did It”). None of these sidesteps in tone derail the two-step in tow; they do cause a bit of amplified confusion, though. So I can see where you, CLENCHED BUT CURIOUS, may have had trouble parsing the full extent of Sphinct-Earth Society’s veracity—you have to vibe with where Brutal Sphincter stews in the low, gurgly, and rumbly goregrind halls.

Nevertheless, Brutal Sphincter intend to provide both laughter—the best medicine—and an easy-to-follow bounce and scowl. Satire via absurdism defines the narrative of Sphinct-Earth Society, and if your partner seems to be having better days at its pages, I think he got the memo. In this life, we all must find ways to cope with the frequently uncontrollable news-worthy happenings on the local, national, or worldwide scale—it’s far from easy. Some choose to do it with people like Dr. Moshe Pitt. Others, like your loved one, have chosen the path of the o-ring warrior. No need to worry, CLENCHED BUT CURIOUS, Brutal Sphincter has got a tight hold on the groovy path. And don’t be surprised if their earlier works end up on your partner’s mantle.

Rating: 3.0/5.0
DR: 5 | Format Reviewed: 320 kbps mp3
Label: Time to Kill Records | Bandcamp
Websites: brutalsphincter.bandcamp.com | facebook.com/brutalsphincter
Releases Worldwide: May 23rd, 2025

#2025 #30 #BelgianMetal #BrutalDeathMetal #BrutalSphincter #DeathMetal #Goregrind #Gutalax #May25 #RectalSmegma #Review #Reviews #SphinctEarthSociety #TimeToKillRecords #Torsofuck

Brutal Sphincter – Sphinct-Earth Society Review

By Dolphin Whisperer

DEAR DOLPHY:

The world seems to grow more hostile by the minute, so I feel like I need to be more “on guard” with the media around me. So, I’ve been seeing this guy for a while now. He was going to therapy pretty regularly with a Dr. Moshe Pitt as part of maintaining a healthy outlook on life—or so he told me. But when I was at his place the other day, I saw this little booklet on his nightstand called Spinct-Earth Society. I did a little research on it, and it turns out that it’s a self-help book by some organization from Belgium called Brutal Sphincter. I confronted him about it, and he confessed in full to using only this manual—not a therapist! But he seems happier than ever, and things are going great? Should I be worried? Can Brutal Sphincter be trusted? — CLENCHED BUT CURIOUS.

DEAR CLENCHED BUT CURIOUS:

I think it’s natural to distrust Brutal Sphincter as an organization. You see, the crowd they hang out in—squealy scuzzmeisters like Gutalax, Rectal Smegma, and Torsofuck—doesn’t inspire much in the way of integrity and honesty. But Sphinct-Earth Society holds a mission a little separate from the extreme scatalogical nature of Shit Happens! (Gutalax, 2016) or the drunken party manifesto of To Serve and Protect (Rectal Smegma, 2025). As the world continues to turn and burn in its humanistic down-spiral, Brutal Sphincter calls for the absurd.

Yet, despite the gateway to sanity seeming closed—closed as your instincts, CLENCHED BUT CURIOUS, let them free!—an earnest base of death metal, saliva-bound like a pliable, welcome bolus, travels from mouth to gut-ears by an unstoppable groove. Brutal Sphincter puts in a touch more effort than your average meme-loaded goregrind act, using important topics like tough guy smearing of “Beatdown Syndrome” and border patrol bashing of “Abolish Frontex” to pull away, with thick and driving riffage, away from the expected oompa-skank. Sure, not every headline across Sphinct-Earth Society holds as much weight as the next (“The Juice Did It,” “Persona Non-Greta”). But with the continuous dual-mic assault of intelligible shouts and unintelligible, warped beatboxing, it doesn’t always take alignment with Brutal Sphincter’s causes to find a brutish release. After all, Sphinct-Earth Society’s thoughtful construction allows its pig-frenzy, impropriety-focused dialogue to unfold with punky abandon and affable suspension, a key factor in success for replacing someone like Dr. Moshe Pitt.

Sphinct-Earth Society remains so committed to the groove, however, that its institutional guitar demonstrations often hold less weight than its growling and kicking rhythmic accessories. In some situations, the urgent and playful kit presence that Julien Racine (Xaon) runs under more trope-leaning chapters like “Crusta-Colada (Crack’n Kofola)” and “Unvaxxed Lives Matter,” elevating the sermons of caffeinated Eastern Bloc aggression and public health naïveté.1 Yet, where the guitar would often run crunchier and with precise malice in a death metal lane, Brutal Sphincter keeps to a lower gain chug that rattle dull and blunt alongside a beefier bass rumble (“Beatdown Syndrome,” “Name Three Songs,” “The Juice Did It”). None of these sidesteps in tone derail the two-step in tow; they do cause a bit of amplified confusion, though. So I can see where you, CLENCHED BUT CURIOUS, may have had trouble parsing the full extent of Sphinct-Earth Society’s veracity—you have to vibe with where Brutal Sphincter stews in the low, gurgly, and rumbly goregrind halls.

Nevertheless, Brutal Sphincter intend to provide both laughter—the best medicine—and an easy-to-follow bounce and scowl. Satire via absurdism defines the narrative of Sphinct-Earth Society, and if your partner seems to be having better days at its pages, I think he got the memo. In this life, we all must find ways to cope with the frequently uncontrollable news-worthy happenings on the local, national, or worldwide scale—it’s far from easy. Some choose to do it with people like Dr. Moshe Pitt. Others, like your loved one, have chosen the path of the o-ring warrior. No need to worry, CLENCHED BUT CURIOUS, Brutal Sphincter has got a tight hold on the groovy path. And don’t be surprised if their earlier works end up on your partner’s mantle.

Rating: 3.0/5.0
DR: 5 | Format Reviewed: 320 kbps mp3
Label: Time to Kill Records | Bandcamp
Websites: brutalsphincter.bandcamp.com | facebook.com/brutalsphincter
Releases Worldwide: May 23rd, 2025

#2025 #30 #BelgianMetal #BrutalDeathMetal #BrutalSphincter #DeathMetal #Goregrind #Gutalax #May25 #RectalSmegma #Review #Reviews #SphinctEarthSociety #TimeToKillRecords #Torsofuck

Rectal Smegma – To Serve and Protect Review

By Dolphin Whisperer

DEAR DOLPHY:

Recently, I’ve felt like my love life needed some spicing up, so I asked my partner if there was anything we could do. A strange smile appeared on his face, one I hadn’t seen for ages. I couldn’t help but get excited! He brought out an audio instructional booklet entitled To Serve and Protect—in his words, “the Dutch people have some methods that get his blood flowin’, if you know what I mean.” I didn’t know what to expect between the title that implied a familiar kink and the cover full of costumes; I’ve read that role play serves a lot of people well. But after a whole run through the audio booklet’s ideas, all I’ve been left with is a bad case of bedroom blues at the hands of Rectal Smegma. I don’t have to describe to you how uncomfortable that is. How can I tell my partner that I don’t ever want to do this again? — SPLATTERED AND CRUSTY

DEAR SPLATTERED AND CRUSTY:

We’ve all been there before. Engaging in novel romantic adventures promises a challenge for all involved. But I bet you might be wondering where To Serve and Protect may have gone wrong.

Nailing goregrind right in the bedroom involves tones that simultaneously offend and delight—a sick fascination pervades through its caked, regressive exterior. To Serve and Protect, in that regard, strays both cautious and calculated (without recklessness) in its riff-based attack. It’s not often in this spunky lane of oompa-punk rhythms that we hear resonant tom rolls and organic, banjo-string snapping snare rolls accompanying gutter-tier narratives. But through blackened gargle (“To Serve and Protect,” “Beyond Bigboy Beastiality”) and flushed flurry (“Bloompa,” “Cocaine and Abel”), this case of Rectal Smegma finds much aural pleasure. However, this same clarity and warmth robs each chapter of kink-loaded chaos of tonal personality—you know the kind of bass-ruptured thrusts or HM-2 gushing blowouts you’d hear in an early Mortician or Fluids instructional. The danger simply isn’t there.

To Serve and Protect thrives in a humor that finds little engorgement outside the words which aim to stimulate. At surface level, chapters like “Her Truffle Butter Makes Me Stutter” or “Slow, Deep and Extra Hard” promise narratives that deliver in unquantifiable loads on their raunchy intent. The accompaniment to each punchline though, rests often in samples that offer little foreplay to the idea, and a predictable punky tease. A differentiation that exists only in name does little good over the course of this Rectal Smegma exercise. Sure, you can open a riff pattern with a snort and groove (“Johnny (The Dedicated Dildo Dork)”) or a grind and response (“Epik”), but when you fall back on the same finishing strokes every time, the mood turns from throbbing to slogging all too quickly.

SPLATTERED AND CRUSTY, you and your partner deserve more, and not the kind of more that To Serve and Protect deems necessary. Quality instructional offerings do not need to run lengthy to provide the most impact to your love life. Repetition already plays a big factor in the reasons that we seek out exotic and tantalizing forms of coupling in the first place. It’s true that the well-traveled hands of Rectal Smegma display affixable energy at important times of their work, like the introductory grooving “Ballsnack” and late-game pick-me-up “Cough Syrup Suppository.” Energy and enthusiasm can go a long way in masking tired instructions, though—what’s a flustered lover to do with seventeen similar lessons on the same theme? While I’m sure Rectal Smegma meant no harm in serving their brand in excess, To Serve and Protect doesn’t give its wanting audience many reasons to dig into its bulging material beyond a sampling.

Other options exist out there, of course—a little Cock and Ball Torture or Gutalax or younger Rectal Smegma may provide you more in the way of bubbling debauchery or busted-tone punishment that will enliven your downtime activities. We here at Angry Metal Guy take pride in assisting where we can, even if it means backing you in breaking it to your partner that To Serve and Protect doesn’t live up to the trashy standards on which Rectal Smegma has staked their latest claim. We want your smile to be genuine. We want your filth to be earned and welcome. We don’t want to leave you splattered, crusty, and unhappy. The lessons you learn should be rough with a tickle of intrigue, not just a replay of steady, jackhammering antics.

Rating: 2.0/5.0
DR: 5 | Format Reviewed: ~190 kbps VBR mp3
Label: Rotten Roll Rex | Kernkraftritter Records
Website: rectalsmegma.com1 | rectalsmegma.bandcamp.com2
Releases Worldwide: February 14th, 2024

#20 #2025 #CockAndBallTorture #DeathMetal #Deathgrind #DutchMetal #Feb25 #Fluids #Goregrind #Gutalax #KernkraftritterRecords #Mortician #RectalSmegma #Review #Reviews #RottenRollRex #ToServeAndProtect

Rectal Smegma – To Serve and Protect Review

By Dolphin Whisperer

DEAR DOLPHY:

Recently, I’ve felt like my love life needed some spicing up, so I asked my partner if there was anything we could do. A strange smile appeared on his face, one I hadn’t seen for ages. I couldn’t help but get excited! He brought out an audio instructional booklet entitled To Serve and Protect—in his words, “the Dutch people have some methods that get his blood flowin’, if you know what I mean.” I didn’t know what to expect between the title that implied a familiar kink and the cover full of costumes; I’ve read that role play serves a lot of people well. But after a whole run through the audio booklet’s ideas, all I’ve been left with is a bad case of bedroom blues at the hands of Rectal Smegma. I don’t have to describe to you how uncomfortable that is. How can I tell my partner that I don’t ever want to do this again? — SPLATTERED AND CRUSTY

DEAR SPLATTERED AND CRUSTY:

We’ve all been there before. Engaging in novel romantic adventures promises a challenge for all involved. But I bet you might be wondering where To Serve and Protect may have gone wrong.

Nailing goregrind right in the bedroom involves tones that simultaneously offend and delight—a sick fascination pervades through its caked, regressive exterior. To Serve and Protect, in that regard, strays both cautious and calculated (without recklessness) in its riff-based attack. It’s not often in this spunky lane of oompa-punk rhythms that we hear resonant tom rolls and organic, banjo-string snapping snare rolls accompanying gutter-tier narratives. But through blackened gargle (“To Serve and Protect,” “Beyond Bigboy Beastiality”) and flushed flurry (“Bloompa,” “Cocaine and Abel”), this case of Rectal Smegma finds much aural pleasure. However, this same clarity and warmth robs each chapter of kink-loaded chaos of tonal personality—you know the kind of bass-ruptured thrusts or HM-2 gushing blowouts you’d hear in an early Mortician or Fluids instructional. The danger simply isn’t there.

To Serve and Protect thrives in a humor that finds little engorgement outside the words which aim to stimulate. At surface level, chapters like “Her Truffle Butter Makes Me Stutter” or “Slow, Deep and Extra Hard” promise narratives that deliver in unquantifiable loads on their raunchy intent. The accompaniment to each punchline though, rests often in samples that offer little foreplay to the idea, and a predictable punky tease. A differentiation that exists only in name does little good over the course of this Rectal Smegma exercise. Sure, you can open a riff pattern with a snort and groove (“Johnny (The Dedicated Dildo Dork)”) or a grind and response (“Epik”), but when you fall back on the same finishing strokes every time, the mood turns from throbbing to slogging all too quickly.

SPLATTERED AND CRUSTY, you and your partner deserve more, and not the kind of more that To Serve and Protect deems necessary. Quality instructional offerings do not need to run lengthy to provide the most impact to your love life. Repetition already plays a big factor in the reasons that we seek out exotic and tantalizing forms of coupling in the first place. It’s true that the well-traveled hands of Rectal Smegma display affixable energy at important times of their work, like the introductory grooving “Ballsnack” and late-game pick-me-up “Cough Syrup Suppository.” Energy and enthusiasm can go a long way in masking tired instructions, though—what’s a flustered lover to do with seventeen similar lessons on the same theme? While I’m sure Rectal Smegma meant no harm in serving their brand in excess, To Serve and Protect doesn’t give its wanting audience many reasons to dig into its bulging material beyond a sampling.

Other options exist out there, of course—a little Cock and Ball Torture or Gutalax or younger Rectal Smegma may provide you more in the way of bubbling debauchery or busted-tone punishment that will enliven your downtime activities. We here at Angry Metal Guy take pride in assisting where we can, even if it means backing you in breaking it to your partner that To Serve and Protect doesn’t live up to the trashy standards on which Rectal Smegma has staked their latest claim. We want your smile to be genuine. We want your filth to be earned and welcome. We don’t want to leave you splattered, crusty, and unhappy. The lessons you learn should be rough with a tickle of intrigue, not just a replay of steady, jackhammering antics.

Rating: 2.0/5.0
DR: 5 | Format Reviewed: ~190 kbps VBR mp3
Label: Rotten Roll Rex | Kernkraftritter Records
Website: rectalsmegma.com1 | rectalsmegma.bandcamp.com2
Releases Worldwide: February 14th, 2024

#20 #2025 #CockAndBallTorture #DeathMetal #Deathgrind #DutchMetal #Feb25 #Fluids #Goregrind #Gutalax #KernkraftritterRecords #Mortician #RectalSmegma #Review #Reviews #RottenRollRex #ToServeAndProtect

Rectal Smegma – To Serve and Protect Review

By Dolphin Whisperer

DEAR DOLPHY:

Recently, I’ve felt like my love life needed some spicing up, so I asked my partner if there was anything we could do. A strange smile appeared on his face, one I hadn’t seen for ages. I couldn’t help but get excited! He brought out an audio instructional booklet entitled To Serve and Protect—in his words, “the Dutch people have some methods that get his blood flowin’, if you know what I mean.” I didn’t know what to expect between the title that implied a familiar kink and the cover full of costumes; I’ve read that role play serves a lot of people well. But after a whole run through the audio booklet’s ideas, all I’ve been left with is a bad case of bedroom blues at the hands of Rectal Smegma. I don’t have to describe to you how uncomfortable that is. How can I tell my partner that I don’t ever want to do this again? — SPLATTERED AND CRUSTY

DEAR SPLATTERED AND CRUSTY:

We’ve all been there before. Engaging in novel romantic adventures promises a challenge for all involved. But I bet you might be wondering where To Serve and Protect may have gone wrong.

Nailing goregrind right in the bedroom involves tones that simultaneously offend and delight—a sick fascination pervades through its caked, regressive exterior. To Serve and Protect, in that regard, strays both cautious and calculated (without recklessness) in its riff-based attack. It’s not often in this spunky lane of oompa-punk rhythms that we hear resonant tom rolls and organic, banjo-string snapping snare rolls accompanying gutter-tier narratives. But through blackened gargle (“To Serve and Protect,” “Beyond Bigboy Beastiality”) and flushed flurry (“Bloompa,” “Cocaine and Abel”), this case of Rectal Smegma finds much aural pleasure. However, this same clarity and warmth robs each chapter of kink-loaded chaos of tonal personality—you know the kind of bass-ruptured thrusts or HM-2 gushing blowouts you’d hear in an early Mortician or Fluids instructional. The danger simply isn’t there.

To Serve and Protect thrives in a humor that finds little engorgement outside the words which aim to stimulate. At surface level, chapters like “Her Truffle Butter Makes Me Stutter” or “Slow, Deep and Extra Hard” promise narratives that deliver in unquantifiable loads on their raunchy intent. The accompaniment to each punchline though, rests often in samples that offer little foreplay to the idea, and a predictable punky tease. A differentiation that exists only in name does little good over the course of this Rectal Smegma exercise. Sure, you can open a riff pattern with a snort and groove (“Johnny (The Dedicated Dildo Dork)”) or a grind and response (“Epik”), but when you fall back on the same finishing strokes every time, the mood turns from throbbing to slogging all too quickly.

SPLATTERED AND CRUSTY, you and your partner deserve more, and not the kind of more that To Serve and Protect deems necessary. Quality instructional offerings do not need to run lengthy to provide the most impact to your love life. Repetition already plays a big factor in the reasons that we seek out exotic and tantalizing forms of coupling in the first place. It’s true that the well-traveled hands of Rectal Smegma display affixable energy at important times of their work, like the introductory grooving “Ballsnack” and late-game pick-me-up “Cough Syrup Suppository.” Energy and enthusiasm can go a long way in masking tired instructions, though—what’s a flustered lover to do with seventeen similar lessons on the same theme? While I’m sure Rectal Smegma meant no harm in serving their brand in excess, To Serve and Protect doesn’t give its wanting audience many reasons to dig into its bulging material beyond a sampling.

Other options exist out there, of course—a little Cock and Ball Torture or Gutalax or younger Rectal Smegma may provide you more in the way of bubbling debauchery or busted-tone punishment that will enliven your downtime activities. We here at Angry Metal Guy take pride in assisting where we can, even if it means backing you in breaking it to your partner that To Serve and Protect doesn’t live up to the trashy standards on which Rectal Smegma has staked their latest claim. We want your smile to be genuine. We want your filth to be earned and welcome. We don’t want to leave you splattered, crusty, and unhappy. The lessons you learn should be rough with a tickle of intrigue, not just a replay of steady, jackhammering antics.

Rating: 2.0/5.0
DR: 5 | Format Reviewed: ~190 kbps VBR mp3
Label: Rotten Roll Rex | Kernkraftritter Records
Website: rectalsmegma.com1 | rectalsmegma.bandcamp.com2
Releases Worldwide: February 14th, 2024

#20 #2025 #CockAndBallTorture #DeathMetal #Deathgrind #DutchMetal #Feb25 #Fluids #Goregrind #Gutalax #KernkraftritterRecords #Mortician #RectalSmegma #Review #Reviews #RottenRollRex #ToServeAndProtect

Rectal Smegma – To Serve and Protect Review

By Dolphin Whisperer

DEAR DOLPHY:

Recently, I’ve felt like my love life needed some spicing up, so I asked my partner if there was anything we could do. A strange smile appeared on his face, one I hadn’t seen for ages. I couldn’t help but get excited! He brought out an audio instructional booklet entitled To Serve and Protect—in his words, “the Dutch people have some methods that get his blood flowin’, if you know what I mean.” I didn’t know what to expect between the title that implied a familiar kink and the cover full of costumes; I’ve read that role play serves a lot of people well. But after a whole run through the audio booklet’s ideas, all I’ve been left with is a bad case of bedroom blues at the hands of Rectal Smegma. I don’t have to describe to you how uncomfortable that is. How can I tell my partner that I don’t ever want to do this again? — SPLATTERED AND CRUSTY

DEAR SPLATTERED AND CRUSTY:

We’ve all been there before. Engaging in novel romantic adventures promises a challenge for all involved. But I bet you might be wondering where To Serve and Protect may have gone wrong.

Nailing goregrind right in the bedroom involves tones that simultaneously offend and delight—a sick fascination pervades through its caked, regressive exterior. To Serve and Protect, in that regard, strays both cautious and calculated (without recklessness) in its riff-based attack. It’s not often in this spunky lane of oompa-punk rhythms that we hear resonant tom rolls and organic, banjo-string snapping snare rolls accompanying gutter-tier narratives. But through blackened gargle (“To Serve and Protect,” “Beyond Bigboy Beastiality”) and flushed flurry (“Bloompa,” “Cocaine and Abel”), this case of Rectal Smegma finds much aural pleasure. However, this same clarity and warmth robs each chapter of kink-loaded chaos of tonal personality—you know the kind of bass-ruptured thrusts or HM-2 gushing blowouts you’d hear in an early Mortician or Fluids instructional. The danger simply isn’t there.

To Serve and Protect thrives in a humor that finds little engorgement outside the words which aim to stimulate. At surface level, chapters like “Her Truffle Butter Makes Me Stutter” or “Slow, Deep and Extra Hard” promise narratives that deliver in unquantifiable loads on their raunchy intent. The accompaniment to each punchline though, rests often in samples that offer little foreplay to the idea, and a predictable punky tease. A differentiation that exists only in name does little good over the course of this Rectal Smegma exercise. Sure, you can open a riff pattern with a snort and groove (“Johnny (The Dedicated Dildo Dork)”) or a grind and response (“Epik”), but when you fall back on the same finishing strokes every time, the mood turns from throbbing to slogging all too quickly.

SPLATTERED AND CRUSTY, you and your partner deserve more, and not the kind of more that To Serve and Protect deems necessary. Quality instructional offerings do not need to run lengthy to provide the most impact to your love life. Repetition already plays a big factor in the reasons that we seek out exotic and tantalizing forms of coupling in the first place. It’s true that the well-traveled hands of Rectal Smegma display affixable energy at important times of their work, like the introductory grooving “Ballsnack” and late-game pick-me-up “Cough Syrup Suppository.” Energy and enthusiasm can go a long way in masking tired instructions, though—what’s a flustered lover to do with seventeen similar lessons on the same theme? While I’m sure Rectal Smegma meant no harm in serving their brand in excess, To Serve and Protect doesn’t give its wanting audience many reasons to dig into its bulging material beyond a sampling.

Other options exist out there, of course—a little Cock and Ball Torture or Gutalax or younger Rectal Smegma may provide you more in the way of bubbling debauchery or busted-tone punishment that will enliven your downtime activities. We here at Angry Metal Guy take pride in assisting where we can, even if it means backing you in breaking it to your partner that To Serve and Protect doesn’t live up to the trashy standards on which Rectal Smegma has staked their latest claim. We want your smile to be genuine. We want your filth to be earned and welcome. We don’t want to leave you splattered, crusty, and unhappy. The lessons you learn should be rough with a tickle of intrigue, not just a replay of steady, jackhammering antics.

Rating: 2.0/5.0
DR: 5 | Format Reviewed: ~190 kbps VBR mp3
Label: Rotten Roll Rex | Kernkraftritter Records
Website: rectalsmegma.com1 | rectalsmegma.bandcamp.com2
Releases Worldwide: February 14th, 2024

#20 #2025 #CockAndBallTorture #DeathMetal #Deathgrind #DutchMetal #Feb25 #Fluids #Goregrind #Gutalax #KernkraftritterRecords #Mortician #RectalSmegma #Review #Reviews #RottenRollRex #ToServeAndProtect

RECTAL SMEGMA (Països Baixos) presenta nou àlbum: "To Serve and Protect" #RectalSmegma #Goregrind #BrutalDeathMetal #Febrer2025 #PaïsosBaixos #NouÀlbum #Metall #Metal #MúsicaMetal #MetalMusic

Who will I see at #Graspop ?
I will be there as a visitor 🤓

For the rest I will photograph* the following festivals:
- #𝔚𝔢𝔩𝔠𝔬𝔪𝔢𝔱𝔬ℌ𝔢𝔩𝔩
- #IntoTheGrave
- #Pitfest (my very first time as a substitute photographer)
- #HellmondOpenAir
- #PirateMetalParty
- #DynamoMetalFest
- #RoosendaalOpenAir
- #TilburgMetalfest
- #BaroegOpenAir
.
.
.
.
.
.
Background pic of #RectalSmegma taken by me :)
*Photographing for the festival directly.
#fotograaf #concert #sethpicturesmusic #sethabrikoos

🤘✌️

Who will I see at #Graspop ?
I will be there as a visitor 🤓

For the rest I will photograph* the following festivals:
- #𝔚𝔢𝔩𝔠𝔬𝔪𝔢𝔱𝔬ℌ𝔢𝔩𝔩
- #IntoTheGrave
- #Pitfest (my very first time as a substitute photographer)
- #HellmondOpenAir
- #PirateMetalParty
- #DynamoMetalFest
- #RoosendaalOpenAir
- #TilburgMetalfest
- #BaroegOpenAir
.
.
.
.
.
.
Background pic of #RectalSmegma taken by me :)
*Photographing for the festival directly.
#fotograaf #concert #sethpicturesmusic #sethabrikoos

🤘✌️

Who will I see at #Graspop ?
I will be there as a visitor 🤓

For the rest I will photograph* the following festivals:
- #𝔚𝔢𝔩𝔠𝔬𝔪𝔢𝔱𝔬ℌ𝔢𝔩𝔩
- #IntoTheGrave
- #Pitfest (my very first time as a substitute photographer)
- #HellmondOpenAir
- #PirateMetalParty
- #DynamoMetalFest
- #RoosendaalOpenAir
- #TilburgMetalfest
- #BaroegOpenAir
.
.
.
.
.
.
Background pic of #RectalSmegma taken by me :)
*Photographing for the festival directly.
#fotograaf #concert #sethpicturesmusic #sethabrikoos

🤘✌️

Who will I see at #Graspop ?
I will be there as a visitor 🤓

For the rest I will photograph* the following festivals:
- #𝔚𝔢𝔩𝔠𝔬𝔪𝔢𝔱𝔬ℌ𝔢𝔩𝔩
- #IntoTheGrave
- #Pitfest (my very first time as a substitute photographer)
- #HellmondOpenAir
- #PirateMetalParty
- #DynamoMetalFest
- #RoosendaalOpenAir
- #TilburgMetalfest
- #BaroegOpenAir
.
.
.
.
.
.
Background pic of #RectalSmegma taken by me :)
*Photographing for the festival directly.
#fotograaf #concert #sethpicturesmusic #sethabrikoos

🤘✌️

#MeltingEyes supporting #RectalSmegma at #WPCNederland3
- 10-2-2024
- Shot with: #SonyAlpha 7ii + 18 mm f/2.8
- Photography by me: #Sethpicturesmusic - #SethAbrikoos
.
.
.
.
#metalhead #metalband #thrashmetal #grindcore #concert #photography #photographer #fotograaf #metal #band

🤘✌️

#MeltingEyes supporting #RectalSmegma at #WPCNederland3
- 10-2-2024
- Shot with: #SonyAlpha 7ii + 18 mm f/2.8
- Photography by me: #Sethpicturesmusic - #SethAbrikoos
.
.
.
.
#metalhead #metalband #thrashmetal #grindcore #concert #photography #photographer #fotograaf #metal #band

🤘✌️

#MeltingEyes supporting #RectalSmegma at #WPCNederland3
- 10-2-2024
- Shot with: #SonyAlpha 7ii + 18 mm f/2.8
- Photography by me: #Sethpicturesmusic - #SethAbrikoos
.
.
.
.
#metalhead #metalband #thrashmetal #grindcore #concert #photography #photographer #fotograaf #metal #band

🤘✌️

#RectalSmegma at #WPCNederland3
* 10-2-2024
* Shot with: #SonyAlpha 7ii + 18 mm f/2.8 & Sony A7iii + 35mm f/1.8
* Photography by me: #Sethpicturesmusic - #SethAbrikoos
.
.
.
#metalhead #metalband #thrashmetal #grindcore #concert #photography #photographer #fotograaf #metal

🤘✌️

#RectalSmegma at #WPCNederland3
* 10-2-2024
* Shot with: #SonyAlpha 7ii + 18 mm f/2.8 & Sony A7iii + 35mm f/1.8
* Photography by me: #Sethpicturesmusic - #SethAbrikoos
.
.
.
#metalhead #metalband #thrashmetal #grindcore #concert #photography #photographer #fotograaf #metal

🤘✌️

#RectalSmegma at #WPCNederland3
* 10-2-2024
* Shot with: #SonyAlpha 7ii + 18 mm f/2.8 & Sony A7iii + 35mm f/1.8
* Photography by me: #Sethpicturesmusic - #SethAbrikoos
.
.
.
#metalhead #metalband #thrashmetal #grindcore #concert #photography #photographer #fotograaf #metal
🤘✌️

#RectalSmegma at #WPCNederland3
* 10-2-2024
* Shot with: #SonyAlpha 7ii + 18 mm f/2.8 & Sony A7iii + 35mm f/1.8
* Photography by me: #Sethpicturesmusic - #SethAbrikoos
.
.
.
.
#metalhead #metalband #thrashmetal #grindcore #concert #photography #photographer #fotograaf #metal #band

🤘✌️

#Pigs supporting #RectalSmegma at #WPCNederland3
- 10-2-2024
- Shot with: #SonyAlpha 7ii + 18 mm f/2.8
- Photography by me: #Sethpicturesmusic - #SethAbrikoos
.
.
.
.
#metalhead #metalband #thrashmetal #grindcore #concert #photography #photographer #fotograaf #metal #band

🤘✌️

#Pigs supporting #RectalSmegma at #WPCNederland3
- 10-2-2024
- Shot with: #SonyAlpha 7ii + 18 mm f/2.8
- Photography by me: #Sethpicturesmusic - #SethAbrikoos
.
.
.
.#metalhead #metalband #thrashmetal #grindcore #concert #photography #photographer #fotograaf #metal #band

🤘✌️

#Pigs supporting #RectalSmegma at #WPCNederland3
- 10-2-2024
- Shot with: #SonyAlpha 7ii + 18 mm f/2.8
- Photography by me: #Sethpicturesmusic - #SethAbrikoos
.
.
.
.#metalhead #metalband #thrashmetal #grindcore #concert #photography #photographer #fotograaf #metal #band

🤘✌️

#Pigs supporting #RectalSmegma at #WPCNederland3
- 10-2-2024
- Shot with: #SonyAlpha 7ii + 18 mm f/2.8
- Photography by me: #Sethpicturesmusic - #SethAbrikoos
.
.
.
.#metalhead #metalband #thrashmetal #grindcore #concert #photography #photographer #fotograaf #metal #band

🤘✌️

#Pigs supporting #RectalSmegma at #WPCNederland3
- 10-2-2024
- Shot with: #SonyAlpha 7ii + 18 mm f/2.8
- Photography by me: #Sethpicturesmusic - #SethAbrikoos
.
.
.
.#metalhead #metalband #thrashmetal #grindcore #concert #photography #photographer #fotograaf #metal #band

🤘✌️