#lexcorp — Public Fediverse posts

Me (shopping around on #LexCorp): Mmm, this 12oz #YerbaMate gourd I got is just way too big. I can never finish it in a day. Oh, this 8oz one looks really nice! It's only $9!

*POOF* A winged, portly lady wearing sweatpants and a hoodie appears amidst a shimmering blue light, hovering in my room. She is holding a magic wand, which may actually be a miniature magical rubber stress-relieving mallet.

Me: "WHO ARE YOU?!?"

ACFG: "Why silly Dane, I'm your anti-consumerist fairy godmother!"

Me: "Anti-Consumerist Fairy Godmother!?"

ACFG: "Yes, but you don't have to capitalize my name. I'm chill."

Me: "Oh. Well, hi, anti-consumerist fairy godmother. What do you want??"

ACFG: "To bop you on your cute little forehead and to remind you that you don't HAVE to buy a new mate, you can just pour in less yerba, you lunkhead!"

*BONK!*

The world goes dark for a moment. Feeling slightly dizzy, I open my eyes. I close the amazon window and go on about my day.

#FediStory #Humor #AntiConsumerism #Consumerism

@ojensen

Man, some of the political apparel on #LexCorp is bollocks-to-the-wallocks wacko nazicrazy.

At #LexCorp, International Woman's Day lasts the whole week.

I highly encourage our female and female identifying supervillains to interrupt males while they're talking, give them your opinion even if they have greater expertise, make them prove their credentials, and if they seem frustrated, tell them to calm down and smile more.

#LexCorpCares

I can’t believe I have to say this. All #LexCorp employees are free to use any restroom they want. I don’t need to know and I don’t want to know what’s in your pants.

Just please be aware that only the 14th floor restrooms have large capacity fixtures. Yes I’m looking at you, Grodd, Grundy, and Giganta.

#LexCorpCares
#LeaveTransSupervillainsAlone
#MyPrivateBathroomIsStillJustForMe

How to More Safely Express Your Gender Identity While Moron is In Office

“I’m a Gryffindor” : he/him pronouns
“I’m a Ravenclaw”: she/her pronouns
“I’m a Hufflepuff”: they/them pronouns
“I’m a Slytherin” : ask me covertly

Dr. Maddox Kaplan (Hufflepuff)
#LexCorp CEO

Okay, NOT WANT.

My amazon purchase history now shows my Whole Foods purchases.

Guys, I NEVER authenticate as an amazon customer when shopping at whole foods.

They're correlating based on my credit card number! NOT WANT!!!!

#amazon #WholeFoods #Lexcorp #evil

Got one of those inexpensive "handheld milk frother" blender thingies off #LexCorp.

I don't use it for milk, but *man* can it stir some tea!!

I’m proud to report that voter turnout at the #LexCorp polling places has been brisk. Rumors that the new LexCount voting machines are switching votes are completely unfounded.

#VoteMaddkap
Organized. Evil.

“The first #LexCorp Trick or Treat event was a huge success! Instead of giving out candy that’s full of chemicals and sugar, we gave all kids a pretty stone to collect.

Each one came with a lovely chain so they could wear their softly glowing green Halloween Stone everywhere they go.

Over 500 kids came to the tower to get their Halloween Stone.”

… that’s 500 little bits of kryptonite on kids out there. Let’s see you rescue that school bus now, Superman.

@TechTangents

I was looking at a cat carrier on #LexCorp yesterday, and instead of the search field, you now talk to an A.I.

So, I asked the silicon idiot if people said anything about their cats being too cold in winter (because of the ample ventilation).

It was smart enough to recommend I consult with a veterinarian, but it also said that "some users report that their cats enjoy CHILLING in the carrier" (emphasis added).

Great job. Just great. 💯 😜

cc: @mirabilos

Well, I picked up a small bluetooth keyboard for my eventual #PDA project: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0B46F8RS6 (please forgive the #LexCorp link)

I'm thinking of getting one of these to go with it:
https://www.adafruit.com/product/2453

along with a TFT display.

#NowWatching #TheChosen S0E0/S2.9E9?? "The Shepherd" / "The Messengers" dual-episode under the title "Christmas With The Chosen: Holy Night" on #LexCorp Prime

I've only seen these two episodes once before, so that's kinda neat. :D

* * *

Hmm, a modern religious concert in 1st century Jerusalem [set]. That's... pretty different. :D

* * *

There's a scene where Mother Mary is talking to Mary Magdalene about praying for the disciples (later on in the first century). That makes me wonder what Mary's prayer life was like. Obviously, she was a pious Jewish woman who knew all of the major Hebraic prayers, but I have to wonder if she ever dropped into "Hey Son, while you're at it..." in her prayer times. XD

* * *

I don't know if anyone else has seen the special (it's mostly quite nice), but I had a really hard time relating to Amanda's speech at the beginning. It just felt so......... Evangelical and artificial. I hate to be critical, but I just had a huge question mark above my head the whole time she was speaking.

@billseipel

I love the juxtaposition of the cat and the #LexCorp (my non-affectionate name for that company) box in the photo.

Cat's diary:

"Feeling cute, might overthrow a gazillion-dolor multinational corporation later."

Looking at the "save for later" portion of my shopping cart at #LexCorp, and I see a cute bow tie #cat collar.

Ouch, ouch, ouch.

Right in my feels.

Missin' my furry baby, but I'm ok. 😻 💗

Dr. Maddkap watches the July 4th #LexCorp security video with @camstonefaux.

As fireworks boom in the background, Dr. Maddkap can be seen streaking naked through the atrium.

Dr. Maddkap: I think maybe less Magic Cheese next time. And before you ask, yes. I’m singing “Barbie Girl”.

...

I unplug the external battery, and everything's hunky-dory.
I carefully plug it back in again, and it turns off after a couple minutes.

I call shenanigans.

I'm returning it to #LexCorp where I bought it.

"Look on my LCD, ye mighty, and despair!!"
-- My #PinebookPro, probably

PBP is back, baby!

I found a set of laptop screws on #LexCorp that not only fit the holes at the top (hinge-side) perfectly, the head of the screws are bigger than stock, so it holds the bottom plate (with its now-enlarged screw holes) in place, anchoring the hinge properly.

It's back!!! I'm typing on it now!! WOO HOOO!!!!!

cc: @PINE64 @amin

...

Hey #tooters,

How do you buy (paper) books ethically?
I was looking at abebooks, but they're owned by #LexCorp now 🤦‍♂️

@genxer

I just call 'em #LexCorp

Kinda love how a lot of USB-C accessories on #LexCorp suddenly have 'iPhone' in the name.

Welcome to the land of partial sanity, iPhone users!

Now if we could only get you to be able to side-load your own blasted software. Or jailbreak your phone without risking bricking and lots of bad things. Or install an alternative operating system.

I’d like to announce a new addition to the benefits package here at #LexCorp. Remember, #LexCorpCares.

Wow, #LexCorp sure does ship stuff fast.

Downloading #GrapheneOS via the web installer now. I installed Eloston's Ungoogled-Chromium just for this one task.

Don't let me down GrapheneOS. XD

P.S. I still love #CalyxOS and the community. I just want to try something new.

P.P.S. FYI, de-googled chromium doesn't work with the GrapheneOS web installer. #LearnSomethingNewEveryDay

Wow, #LexCorp sure does ship stuff fast.

Downloading #GrapheneOS via the web installer now. I installed Eloston's Ungoogled-Chromium just for this one task.

Don't let me down GrapheneOS. XD

P.S. I still love #CalyxOS and the community. I just want to try something new.

P.P.S. FYI, de-googled chromium doesn't work with the GrapheneOS web installer. #LearnSomethingNewEveryDay

Wow, #LexCorp sure does ship stuff fast.

Downloading #GrapheneOS via the web installer now. I installed Eloston's Ungoogled-Chromium just for this one task.

Don't let me down GrapheneOS. XD

P.S. I still love #CalyxOS and the community. I just want to try something new.

P.P.S. FYI, de-googled chromium doesn't work with the GrapheneOS web installer. #LearnSomethingNewEveryDay

Wow, #LexCorp sure does ship stuff fast.

Downloading #GrapheneOS via the web installer now. I installed Eloston's Ungoogled-Chromium just for this one task.

Don't let me down GrapheneOS. XD

P.S. I still love #CalyxOS and the community. I just want to try something new.

P.P.S. FYI, de-googled chromium doesn't work with the GrapheneOS web installer. #LearnSomethingNewEveryDay

Wow, #LexCorp sure does ship stuff fast.

Downloading #GrapheneOS via the web installer now. I installed Eloston's Ungoogled-Chromium just for this one task.

Don't let me down GrapheneOS. XD

P.S. I still love #CalyxOS and the community. I just want to try something new.

P.P.S. FYI, de-googled chromium doesn't work with the GrapheneOS web installer. #LearnSomethingNewEveryDay

I'm pleased to present the winner of the #LexCorp Costume Contest. DJ Grodd, let's hear it!

#LexCorpCares

#LexCorp Employees,

As your new CEO, I want to remind you that job stress is something we take very seriously.

So please remember that if you're feeling stressed, there's someone else who feels just as stressed as you, but also has a headache.

And if you feel stressed and have a headache, you're doing your part to set a good example for everyone else.

#LexCorpCares

Dr. Maddox Kaplan
CEO

Dear Employees,

Please note the new signage in the elevators.

Gorilla Grodd - this means you. I'm sick of maintenance telling me the buttons are cracked and sticky.

Aggressively yours,
Dr. Maddkap
LexCorp CEO

#LexCorpCares
#LexCorp

Alright dammit ... it's been too long. I'm taking my job back as Chief Evil Scientist for #LexCorp.

Miss Tessmacher, dust off the evil plans. Tonight, we're killing Superman.