#lexcorpcares — Public Fediverse posts
Live and recent posts from across the Fediverse tagged #lexcorpcares, aggregated by home.social.
-
To all of our “aging resistant” supervillains:
Please review the AI generated summary of the JFK files to see if your name is mentioned. Some of you need to change identity more than once a century.
Dr. Maddox Kaplan
CEO
#LexCorpCares -
At #LexCorp, International Woman's Day lasts the whole week.
I highly encourage our female and female identifying supervillains to interrupt males while they're talking, give them your opinion even if they have greater expertise, make them prove their credentials, and if they seem frustrated, tell them to calm down and smile more.
-
Oh my god.
YES the Women’s Villain Empowerment group can still meet.
NO shape changing villains do not need to choose a gender.
YES we are still offering scholarships to evil medical school for villains from historically oppressed groups.
YES I am still committed to having a diverse board of directors that includes representatives from at least three other Earths.NOW PLEASE SOMEONE COME UP WITH A WAY TO KILL SUPERMAN!
-
I can’t believe I have to say this. All #LexCorp employees are free to use any restroom they want. I don’t need to know and I don’t want to know what’s in your pants.
Just please be aware that only the 14th floor restrooms have large capacity fixtures. Yes I’m looking at you, Grodd, Grundy, and Giganta.
#LexCorpCares
#LeaveTransSupervillainsAlone
#MyPrivateBathroomIsStillJustForMe -
In order to conform with new regulations, all LexCorp documents that previously referred to “pregnant people” will be rewritten to refer to “preggos”.
-
The fact that my arrival in Philadelphia coincides with the departure of the aircraft carrier John F Kennedy, after spending 18 years here, is purely a coincidence.
We are definitely not stealing it and turning it into a mobile base of LexCorp and the Legion of Doom.
-
@TheTenuousOrder Does Canada have participation in ALL tests of new drugs as a mandatory part of their plan? I think not. We do. All our new drugs are tested on our fine groups of thugs and henchpeople. #LexCorpCares
-
@camstonefaux No f’s? At LexCorp, when we swear, we go the whole fucking nine yards. #LexCorpCares
-
You are always free to be your authentic self around me, without judgement.
I’m a supervillain. I’m evil. Not ignorant.
-
“Don’t kick a man when he’s down”? I can’t think of a better time to kick someone! They’re defenseless!
-
The door to the CEO office of LexCorp opens.
Dr. Maddkap: (looks up from the desk) What do you-
Scientist Leader: GET HIM!
10 scientists tackle Dr. Maddkap and force a piece of cheese down his throat, and then run out, slamming the door.
Dr. Maddkap: (pants and crawls back into his chair) Ah yes … the 4th of July. Magic cheese time.
-
If you’re going to see fireworks this 4th of July, LexCorp would like to remind you to keep our planet clean.
-
Now imagine that I was on that stage. A handsome, well educated, supervillain werewolf. CEO of the most powerful evil organization on the planet, leader of my own Church, and the man who finally defeated Lex Luthor. True, Iam older then both of them put together, but I age at a much slower rate. Wouldn’t you rather sign your future over to me, unconditionally?
-
The billionaires are screwing you out of a nice home, affordable healthcare, safe schools, and a happier life. It’s time to return their wealth to the people, and leave a single billionaire with the money and power to oversee all of humanity.
I’m Dr. Maddkap, and I approve this message.
-
Our harassment policy comprises you not forgetting your safe word.
-
In the LexCorp cafeteria today, employees learned what happens to people who piss me off.
#LexCorpCares -
To all LexCorp Employees:
The memo that was circulated earlier announcing that the LexCorp tower is now “pants-free” was NOT authentic. Please put your pants back on immediately. This means YOU, Solomon Grundy.
Also - Harley Quinn is NOT allowed on the premises!
-
-
Yes my feed is a mix of psychology, morality, dad jokes, dirty jokes, world domination plans, and attempts to get laid.
You've been warned. Now get back to work.
-
@xoagray Yep. Want a job at LexCorp?
#lexcorpcares -
-
Dear LexCorp Employees:
All copies of the memo showing me holding a jar of Jif peanut butter and word balloon that reads "I'm a doktur! This is how I says GIF!" are to be burned immediately.
And for the love of God, STOP LETTING HARLEY QUINN INTO THE BUILDING.
-
Always remember to brush your teeth. It’s the only chance you get to clean your skull.
-
Daylight Savings Time is horrible for mental health. Therefore the Church of the Immaculate Werewolf will be having a Time Warp Orgy tonight. RSVP by sending noods.
-
All I'm saying is that if a year had 13 months instead of 12, then every month would have EXACTLY 28 days. Each month would start on a Sunday and end on a Saturday. Each month would have 4 weeks.
We'd be one day short at the end of the year, so we could add one extra Saturday to catch up. And on Leap Years, it would be 2 extra Saturdays.
-
MISS TESSMACHER! Bring me my Dr. Pepper. No wait, better make that coffee. In fact, make that Dr. Pepper IN my coffee. And my Adderall.
Let's fuckin' do this day.
-
PRO TIP! Always keep a small garbage bag in your car. It doesn't take up a lot of room, and helps you keep your car neater.
Plus, once it's full, you can just toss it out the window.
-
Every month should have one big ass holiday that we're all excited about and getting ready for.
Under my administration, this will become a reality.
-
I’d like to announce a new addition to the benefits package here at #LexCorp. Remember, #LexCorpCares.
-
MISS TESSMACHER! Load everything into the spaceship, we're going in search of the lost tribes of humanity.
-
I'm pleased to present the winner of the #LexCorp Costume Contest. DJ Grodd, let's hear it!
-
#LexCorp Employees,
As your new CEO, I want to remind you that job stress is something we take very seriously.
So please remember that if you're feeling stressed, there's someone else who feels just as stressed as you, but also has a headache.
And if you feel stressed and have a headache, you're doing your part to set a good example for everyone else.
Dr. Maddox Kaplan
CEO -
Dear Employees,
Please note the new signage in the elevators.
Gorilla Grodd - this means you. I'm sick of maintenance telling me the buttons are cracked and sticky.
Aggressively yours,
Dr. Maddkap
LexCorp CEO