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#comedywriter — Public Fediverse posts

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  1. Secretary of Defense Hegseth testified Wednesday that the defense budget needs to go up to 1.5 trillion dollars. He cited the fact there are still girls schools in Iran the US has yet to bomb. I wrote this and more for tonight's TWTW in LA. #comedy #writer #ComedyWriter #SketchComedy #news #satire

    The Open Fist Theatre Company

  2. Secretary of Defense Hegseth testified Wednesday that the defense budget needs to go up to 1.5 trillion dollars. He cited the fact that there are still girls schools in Iran the US has yet to bomb.

    I wrote this and a sketch about Captain Ballroom for tonight's This Week This Week in LA. Last This Week This Week for a while, so go see it tonight.

    Get tix (or ask me for possible comps): openfisttheatre.my.salesforce-

    #comedy #writer #ComedyWriter #SketchComedy #news #satire

  3. During King Charles III’s visit to Washington, the White House posted a photo of the President and King Charles with the caption “two kings.” In response, the Secret Service has added Zombie George Washington Zombie Paul Revere to their list of active threats. #comedy #writer #ComedyWriter #satire

  4. During King Charles III’s visit to Washington, the White House posted a photo of the President and King Charles with the caption “two kings.” In response, the Secret Service has added Zombie George Washington Zombie Paul Revere to their list of active threats.

    #comedy #writer #ComedyWriter #news #satire

  5. Buckingham Palace said the King was “greatly touched by the warmth and generosity” of U.S. Congress’s response to his speech. Former Prince Andrew commented, “did someone say touched?”

    #comedy #writer #ComedyWriter #news #satire

  6. Buckingham Palace said the King was “greatly touched by the warmth and generosity” of U.S. Congress’s response to his speech. Former Prince Andrew commented, “did someone say touched?” #comedy #writer #ComedyWriter #news #satire

  7. Comey shared “86 47” written in seashells on beach w/caption "Cool shell formation on my beach walk," & later deleted it. President believes post represented "tremendous danger" & then punched himself in the nuts & through a grimace said, “see, told ya.” #comedy #writer #ComedyWriter #news #satire

  8. James Comey shared a picture showing the numbers “eighty-six forty-seven” written in seashells on the beach with the caption "Cool shell formation on my beach walk," and later deleted it. The president believes the post represented "tremendous danger" and then punched himself in the nuts and through a grimace said, “see, told ya.”

    #comedy #writer #ComedyWriter #SketchComedy #news #satire

  9. Former FBI Director Comey has been charged with threatening the president’s life for posting sea shells laid out to spell “86 47” on Instagram. Euler's number & Pi have been indicted as co-conspirators & Avogadro’s number could not be reached for comment. #comedy #writer #ComedyWriter #SketchComedy

  10. Former FBI Director James Comey has been charged with threatening the president’s life for posting a picture of sea shells laid out to spell “86 47” on Instagram. Euler's number and Pi have been indicted as co-conspirators and Avogadro’s number could not be reached for comment.

    #comedy #writer #ComedyWriter #SketchComedy #news #satire #math #constants

  11. James Comey has been indicted again, this time over a seashell Instagram post. We can expect Biden to be indicted for posting his crayon drawing to Facebook and Obama for that one time he posted crocheted birds to Pinterest. #comedy #writer #ComedyWriter #SketchComedy #news #satire

  12. potus, who threatened to kill an entire civilization recently, indicted James Comey for posting “86 47” online. When asked about the hypocrisy, White House replied, “I know you are, but what am I?” I wrote this & more for tonight's This Week This Week in LA. #comedy #writer #ComedyWriter #satire

    The Open Fist Theatre Company

  13. James Comey has been indicted again, this time over a seashell Instagram post. We can expect Biden to be indicted for posting his crayon drawing to Facebook and Obama for that one time he posted crocheted birds to Pinterest.

    #comedy #writer #ComedyWriter #SketchComedy #news #satire

  14. The president, who threatened to kill an entire civilization earlier this month, has had James Comey indicted for posting the numbers “86 47” online. When asked about the apparent hypocrisy, the White House replied firmly, “I know you are, but what am I?”

    I wrote this and a sketch about Captain Ballroom for tonight's This Week This Week in LA. Last This Week This Week for a while, so go see it tonight.

    Get tix: openfisttheatre.my.salesforce-

    #comedy #writer #ComedyWriter #SketchComedy #news #satire

  15. According to CNN, the UAE is quitting OPEC ASAP because they want more control of their economy IRL so for now it is TTYL to OPEC from UAE which may not BRB. I wrote this and more for tonight's This Week This Week in LA. Get tix: #comedy #writer #ComedyWriter #SketchComedy #news #satire

    The Open Fist Theatre Company

  16. According to CNN, the UAE is quitting OPEC ASAP because they want more control of their economy IRL so for now it is TTYL to OPEC from UAE which may not BRB.

    I wrote this and a sketch about Captain Ballroom for tonight's This Week This Week in LA. Last This Week This Week for a while, so go see it tonight.

    Get tix (or ask me for possible comps): openfisttheatre.my.salesforce-

    #comedy #writer #ComedyWriter #SketchComedy #news #satire

  17. DJT is now saying the White House Ballroom is a "top secret military ballroom." Look next for the weaponization of the Macarena and missile-deliverable potato salad. I wrote this and more for tonight's This Week This Week in LA. Get tix: #comedy #writer #ComedyWriter #SketchComedy #news #satire

    The Open Fist Theatre Company

  18. DJT is now saying the White House Ballroom is a "top secret military ballroom." Look next for the weaponization of the Macarena and missile-deliverable potato salad.

    I wrote this and a sketch about Captain Ballroom for tonight's This Week This Week in LA.

    Get tix (or ask me for possible comps): openfisttheatre.my.salesforce-

    #comedy #writer #ComedyWriter #SketchComedy #news #satire

  19. Here's @chelseakspirito promoting @thisweekthisweek this week, which I did some writing for.

    Come see @andycobbinla @ash.__s @bethrbbns1 @daisytich @ezukowski @iamemmabruno @isaacwjay @kileyeberhardt @kj.middlebrooks @liljacksharpe @lousaliba @nussburger @private.yang.ilene @theamirlevi with @ron_west98's direction at @openfisttheatrecompany tomorrow (Thursday) in Los Angeles.

    #lathtr #sketch #comedy #ComedyWriter #funny #news #satire

  20. DEA is expected to reclassify marijuana as Schedule 3 as soon as this week. A spokesman said (as if stoned) “wait, did we miss four twenty? Aw man, that would have been a really cool schedule.” Wrote for tonight's This Week This Week. #SketchComedy #sketch #comedy #writer #ComedyWriter #satire

    The Open Fist Theatre Company

  21. The DEA is expected to reclassify marijuana as a less hazardous Schedule 3 substance as soon as this week. A spokesman said (as if stoned) “wait, did we miss four twenty? Aw man, that would have been a really cool schedule.”

    Lines like that and 2 sketches I wrote in the all female cast (this week) of This Week This Week in LA tonight. Like the news, but funny.

    Get tix: openfisttheatre.my.salesforce-

    #SketchComedy #sketch #comedy #writer #ComedyWriter #satire #news #marijuana

  22. VA voters approved a redistricting plan likely giving Democrats more seats in the House. Last year, TX tried to redistrict w/o voter approval, so it seems no one realized G-O-P spells F-A-F-O. Wrote this for tonight's This Week This Week. #SketchComedy #sketch #comedy #writer #ComedyWriter #satire

    The Open Fist Theatre Company

  23. Virginia voters have approved a redistricting plan that likely gives Democrats more seats in the U.S. House. Last year, Texas tried to redistrict without voter approval, so it seems no one realized G-O-P spells F-A-F-O.

    Lines like that and 2 sketches I wrote in the all female cast (this week) of This Week This Week in LA tonight. Like the news, but funny.

    Get tix: openfisttheatre.my.salesforce-

    #SketchComedy #sketch #comedy #writer #ComedyWriter #satire #news #Virginia

  24. Speaking of Iran, w/both sides continuing to shoot stuff all the time, might be the shootiest ceasefire ever. No official word yet from the Guinness Book of World Records. I wrote for tonight's This Week This Week. Like #news, but funny. #SketchComedy #sketch #comedy #writer #ComedyWriter #satire

    The Open Fist Theatre Company

  25. Speaking of Iran, with both sides continuing to shoot stuff all the time, this might be the shootiest ceasefire ever. No official word yet from the Guinness Book of World Records.

    Lines like that and 2 sketches I wrote in the all female cast (this week) of This Week This Week in LA tonight. Like the news, but funny.

    Get tix: openfisttheatre.my.salesforce-

    #SketchComedy #sketch #comedy #writer #ComedyWriter #satire #news #Iran

  26. The U.S. State Department, citing the President’s difficulty pronouncing the name “The Strait of Hormuz,” will now start calling the strait America’s Quagmire. I wrote for This Week This Week in LA tonight. Like the #news, but funny. #SketchComedy #sketch #comedy #writer #ComedyWriter #satire

    The Open Fist Theatre Company

  27. The U.S. State Department, citing the President’s difficulty pronouncing the name “The Strait of Hormuz,” will now start calling the strait America’s Quagmire.

    Lines like that and 2 sketches I wrote in the all female cast (this week) of This Week This Week in LA tonight. Like the news, but funny.

    Get tix: openfisttheatre.my.salesforce-

    #SketchComedy #sketch #comedy #writer #ComedyWriter #satire #news

  28. A Boeing-made satellite broke up in space yesterday, but a Boeing spokesperson says it’s important to remember the various spacecraft parts plan to remain good friends.

    #satire #joke #funny #comedy #sketch #SketchComedy #ComedyWriter #writer #screenwriter #screenwriting #boeing #satellite #space #BreakUp

  29. North Korean soldiers are in Russia to assist Russia in its war on Ukraine. North Korea is so restrictive they consider their assignment to the Ukrainian front a vacation.

    - written by me and Ron West for tonight's This Week This Week in LA

    #LosAngeles #LA #satire #joke #funny #comedy #sketch #SketchComedy #ComedyWriter #writer #screenwriter #screenwriting #russia #Ukraine #NorthKorea #dprk #vacation #soldiers

  30. Mariel Garza, editorials editor of the Los Angeles Times, resigned on Wednesday after the paper's billionaire owner, Patrick Soon-Shiong, blocked the endorsement of Harris for president. I'm shocked another South African billionaire doesn't support a black woman for president, shocked I say.

    - written by me for This Week This Week

    #LosAngeles #LA #satire #joke #funny #comedy #sketch #SketchComedy #ComedyWriter #writer #screenwriter #screenwriting #LAtimes #MarielGarza #PatrickSoonShiong