Moriel 🏳️⚧️
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Add another Pokémon to the old Pokéball! Caught a CPTSD, too! Just got the psychologists written report in the mail and that was part of it that she didn't mention when we spoke in person. I guess it just seemed inconsequential compared to the others. 🤣 😭
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Well here's something that doesn't surprise me in the least.
People with similar levels of autistic traits show greater social attraction to one another, and their brains synchronize in unique ways during active conversation. A recent experiment published in Biological Psychiatry suggests that social difficulties related to autism might be a problem of mismatched communication styles rather than an inherent social deficit.
This matches with our own life experience very well. It is much easier for us to be social with other autistics than to do so with neurotypical people.
https://www.psypost.org/brain-scans-reveal-how-people-with-autistic-traits-connect-differently/
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Having an actual DID diagnosis is hitting me harder than i exxpected. i'm crying about wanting it not to be true. i didn't ask for this! i went to the psychologist just because of autism and wanting to know more about that, i didn't expect to be hit with this out of left field! It makes me wish i'd never started talking with any other systems and never learned anything about dissociation so i could have just gone on without recognizing what was going on in my own life.
And yet, damn it all Crow is right there in my head talking to me and trying to help me deal with this, so i can't deny it!
i just don't know how to handle this today.
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Unwritten Rules of Conversation
i have never understood any of the unwritten rules of conversation that neurotypical (and many neurodivergent!) people follow, and even though i’m 56 years old i have only this past year started trying to write down what i have been able to figure out on my own. Most of these things come from making the same mistake over and over and over again until the pattern finally becomes clear. i am going to post them here and update this post over time as i learn more rules. Maybe this will help someone else someday.
- Do not talk about suicide with anyone other than a therapist. It will be perceived as manipulation. Even if i think someone cares for me or that they might understand from personal experience, do not discuss it. It will only lead to them feeling hurt. Maybe it’s OK to talk about it in support groups where suicide really is a common thing.
- Do not discuss ideas that come into my head during a conversation, no matter how lighthearted or unimportant they may be. It will be perceived as arguing.
- Do not try to express empathy for someone by relating their experience to one of my own. It will be perceived as “making things about myself”.
- Do not offer explanations for your behavior. That will be interpreted as “making excuses”. If someone insists on an explanation the you must preface it with a statement such as “this is not an excuse” which will probably be ignored anyway. The only safe thing to do is apologize without any explanations.
- Say “You’re right” instead of “I know”.
- Unsolicited advice is criticism.
- Saying what i would do in a situation is perceived as the same thing as giving advice.
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OK. Flash of inspiration time. Here's a little micropoem for you.
The little boy was always denied the one thing he most wanted:
Permission to be herself. -
Happy Birthday to Wendy Carlos, composer famous for Switched On Bach, A Clockwork Orange, The Shining, and Tron. She also did a brilliant collaboration with Weird Al and many other albums worth checking out.
https://www.thepinknews.com/2025/11/14/kim-petras-first-trans-person-grammy-win-wendy-carlos/
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Broad shoulders?
Deep voice?
Facial and body hair?
It could be nut allergies.
Cut the nuts out of your life and things will improve!