#oldstories — Public Fediverse posts

The legend of Batmetal and the old days

@the_gamer_tavern

Come come adventurers, sit by the counter and your old innkeeper will tell you a story of old, for you may not have been around on the net ten years ago and more.

Back in the days, the internet wasn't such a dark place. It wasn't toxic for the most part of it unless you'd know where to search for places for being toxic, but I'm digressing.

It was fun.
And we had things that we should keep in our memories forever, like Batmetal.

Feast your eyes and your ears on these masterpieces, but be warned, you'll hum them to your heart content.

CW: videos on youtube, gore, dark humour, metal

• Batmetal
• Batmetal returns
• Batmetal forever

#Batmetal #Batman #TheGamersTavern #OldStories #Meme #AhryBES

During the Covid school shutdowns I was a member of an online group with a mum in London. Her kid was reading a lot and encountered references to American kids eating peanut butter & jelly sandwiches. Kid wanted to sample one. Mum consulted her American online friends and placed an order from an import store for Welches grape jelly. Kid was disappointed Americans didn't eat proper jelly (envisioning Jello, I think.) The Americans were amused that grape jelly was a luxury import. #oldStories

@futurebird Someone I used to know had a weekend gig in Uni driving an ambulance around Moscow scraping unconscious drunks off the streets. He said the eldest would wake up hallucinating witches were coming for them. The middle aged would hallucinate the KGB was coming. The youngest would hallucinate UFOs were coming. #OldStories

A story of a past acquaintance. He managed to get himself assigned to the royal guard. Duties were basically to put on a formal uniform with a ridiculously large hat and stand around looking impressive. One day he got a bundle of cookies from home. He knew if he left them in quarters his comrades would eat them all. So he shoved them up into his ridiculously large hat and went to stand on parade. Where, due to standing immobile too long, he passed out. Hat off, cookies everywhere. #OldStories

Today I was thinking about cultural preservation. A now dead relative lived for decades in an area with a tradition of women using back strap looms. Women were always tired from weaving late at night after the kids were asleep; else repeated interruptions would affect warp tension & cloth quality. He brought in a table loom to see if it would help them. Instead they all adopted Western ready-to-wear, and now weaving happens only in museum demonstrations for school kids. #OldStories

My mother-in-law was a teen during WWII. All her brothers enlisted. One of her memories was coming home from school each day and checking their row of service flags before entering the house. She would breathe a sigh of relief upon seeing all the flags still displayed a blue star rather than gold. She laughed at herself in later years; of course her parents would have told the family before switching the flags if one of the boys had fallen. #OldStories

A while back we waded into a friend's flooded apartment to help salvage stuff. We all took a break to watch the doofus in the German car on the road outside. It was epic. He drove up to the barrier, paused, and drove around it into the flood. At the point where his headlights were glowing under water the car stalled. He opened the door, flooding the interior, and got out to look under the hood. Then he got back in and restarted the car. Bye bye engine. #OldStories

A while back I worked for a religious man born in India. One day on a business trip we happened to drive past a yoga studio. Out of the blue he growled, "I hate this. Yoga is part of my culture, my religion. It's wrong without that context. It's not whatever THIS is," as he disdainfully gestured towards the white ladies in their tank tops and Lululemon pants. I remember his outburst about cultural appropriation every time I see a gym offering yoga classes. #OldStories #Yoga

Freshman one of my friends was sad about not being home for the start of Passover. I discovered he had never dyed Easter eggs (duh) and decided he needed to be distracted. We trundled off into the night. The only open convenience store had eggs, food color, and vinegar. Yes! I had a hot plate & sauce pan. We were in business. We boiled eggs. Then my friend got the munchies and ate most of the undyed eggs. Sigh. Failed as cultural exchange, but succeeded as entertainment. #OldStories

I went to a conference in a city with a large unhoused population. We had a pub crawl. Once of the unhoused returned to the hotel with us on the shuttle. Festivities continued with exhibitors plying attendees with free beer & snacks. Our dude got himself a plate & drink and plopped down near me. Then he realized I was on to him. He gave me a nervous, "Are we cool?" look. I grinned, showed him my own handful of snacks, & leaned back to watch the vendor entertainment. He did too. #OldStories

As a child my grandmother had the circa 1900 equivalent of an Easy-Bake oven. It was a small kerosene stove which the child was expected to prime and light. Occasionally she would over-pump it, and it had to be carried flaming outside so as not to burn the house down. #OldStories

One of the fun things I did as a kid was help Mom make hash from potatoes & leftover meat. We had a hand crank grinder. Mom chopped the veggies & I got to drop them into the hopper while turning the crank. I started using a food processor when I left home. Tonight the processor was broken when I went to use it. I dug in the back of my cupboard and pulled out the old grinder, which hasn't been used in at least 25 years. Still works, and I felt like a kid turning the crank again. #OldStories

The country cousins posted their land, because they were fed up with their livestock getting shot during hunting season. That didn't stop hunters. Country aunt got in the habit of carrying a valve stem puller. Anyone parking on their land without permission would come back to four flat tires. This was pre cell phone era. She'd then call the cops if the stranger showed up at the house looking for help. #OldStories

When I was growing up I kind of envied my country cousins. They roamed acres of woods, had chickens in the barn, and got up to all sorts of stuff I never dreamed of. One of them got beer money as a teenager by pulling cars out of the swamp next to a curve in the road. He'd hear the screech of brakes, fire up the tractor, and trundle off to extort 20 bucks from the careless driver. #OldStories

As a child my grandmother was apparently a real handful for her teachers. Many years later she reviewed my mother's elementary school report card with some disgust. Not a single demerit for poor behavior. According to family lore she fixed my mother with a critical eye. "Hmmph. Have you no spirit?" #OldStories

My favorite prank. I had keys to the office and a reputation for being dull. I recruited the other dullest person to come in early. Upon arrival we set about shrink wrapping every item in our victim's office. The books. The pens. The stress ball. The keyboard. Even the phone, with a small opening so we could plug it back in. Anything that fit got wrapped. Then we locked up and went to breakfast. We returned, innocent faced, to join the crowd of gawking coworkers. #OldStories

Dad was one of the emergency contact people for the local morgue. So, one weekend the puma at the local zoo keels over. The zoo wants to do a necropsy but not on the weekend. They call Dad. Can we put our dead cat in your morgue? Dad says sure and goes back to his weekend, thinking nothing more of it. Monday morning the morgue staff roll in to work and unexpectedly find a 200 pound apex predator in a drawer. Apparently this was a little WTF even for them. Dad was nerdishly gleeful. #OldStories

A piece from a few years ago. I created ‘Dance of the Selkies’ for an art auction for wildlife. Original Unseen design, hand burned onto the wood. #art #folklore #craft #handmade #pyro #pyrography #burn #wildlife #nature #selkies #animals #ocean #sea #tales #oldstories #stories #seals #wood #woodworking #artist #artistsonmastodon