#dad-jokes — Public Fediverse posts

A pony walks into a bar and whispers to the bartender "Can I have a glass of water?"

The bartender says "Why are you whispering?"

The pony responds "I'm a little horse."

#dadjokes

I told my doctor that I am having trouble with my memory. He said "How long have I had that problem?"

I said "What problem?"

#dadjokes

I ordered a lockable box and a speaker online.

They arrived, safe and sound.

#funny #jokes #dadjokes

I have a friend who goes around shouting things like the "Gentlemen! To the BLT on the corner table, may your mayo never go stale"

He's a sandwich toaster.

#dadjokes

Dad Joke Alert: No real shock here — another groaner! #DadJokes #Humor https://youtube.com/shorts/uMxLb5vXYOU

My local bank is installing an ATM in a tree.

If it’s successful, they might expand to other branches.

#funny #jokes #dadjokes

Warum sagt man "BSE" und nicht "Wahnmache"?

#dadJoke #dadJokes #badPun #badPun #antiJoke

Last night I dreamed I had an identical twin.

This morning, when I woke up, I was beside myself!

#funny #jokes #dadjokes

Ya, my jokes have really peaked, just downhill from here.

#dadjokes #dadjokesdaily #dadjokesforever #dadjokesoftheday #dadjoke

Not to be a grammar nazi, but people keep saying "I climbed Everest" when it should be "I climbed the most ever." - Tammy Golden

#dadjokes

"What should we play now that there's only two of us?"
"We could layer some toop..."
"What's that?"
"It's a toop layer game"

#dadjokes

Here, take a nerd joke on the house.
Fresh from the bakery!

#Lenovo #HewlettPackard #dadjokes #puujalka #puujalkavitsit

Warum heißt es "Kündigung wegen mehrmaligem Zu-spät-Kommens wegen Verschlafens trotz mehrfacher Abmahnung" und nicht "Verpenner-Aus"

#dadJoke #dadJokes #badPun #badPuns #antiJoke

I used to be great at stopping myself from being hit by hailstones by wearing a suit of armor.

Now I’m a bit rusty.

#funny #jokes #dadjokes