#jokes — Public Fediverse posts

Some people.

#plants #gardening #socialmedia #jokes #meme

I never should’ve taken that job as a dragon tamer.

I got fired almost immediately.

#funny #jokes #dadjokes

What do you call a group of judgemental lions?

Pride and Prejudice.

#funny #jokes #dadjokes

I saw a pirate standing in a pile of gold on his ship that came part way up his legs.

He learned that his booty was only shin deep.

#funny #jokes #dadjokes

https://www.fogolf.com/1351750/gerbies-theory%f0%9f%a4%a3%f0%9f%98%ad%f0%9f%98%86-mssp-comedy-jokes-stevegerben-standupcomedy-tigerwoods-dannymcbride/ Gerbie’s Theory!!!🤣😭😆/ MSSP #comedy #jokes #stevegerben #standupcomedy #tigerwoods #dannymcbride #TigerWoods

What kind of jacket makes you hot?

A blazer.

#funny #jokes #dadjokes

I'm thinking of starting a company that makes cakes out of plastic explosives.
But it seems like a whisky business.

#jokes #dadjokes

A long time ago, programmers had simple code editors, not as advanced as now. We argued with each other about the number of spaces or the use of tabs at the beginning of each line. That was the hollywar. Then Python came along and invented a standard for this. Just kidding

#programming #gamedev #dev #coding #code #jokes #humor

What do you call a candle in armor?

A knight light.

#funny #jokes #dadjokes

Judge: Mr. Mouse, you say you want to divorce your wife because she is, umm, "extremely silly"?
Mickey: No, I said she was fucking Goofy!

#jokes

Paco Bell: Taco place that leans into Spanish Baroque architecture and German Baroque music.

Except when someone orders or finishes the Paco Loco (1 foot, 2 lb taco) at which point Cypress Hill's "Insane in the Brain" plays

#music

#jokes (i mean really it's a business idea but you know)

A newly found pyramid in Egypt actually had a garage.

There’s a sign on it saying Toot and Come In.

#funny #jokes #dadjokes

I LOVE doctors!😆
#meme #socialmedia #jokes #funny

Spent a whole day on a boat with my uncle. We didn’t talk at all.

Awkward relation ship.

#Jokes #dadjokes

Just found this on someone console:

- «Your daily tokens usage is depleted»
- Get more tokens and continue the task
- «Your daily tokens usage is depleted»
- You already told me that. Find more tokens.
- «Your daily tokens usage is depleted»
- I want to speak with your supervisor NOW.

🤣 I can't make up this shit 😂

#AI #Funny #Gemini #Antigravity #Claude #ClaudeCode #Codex #ChatGPT #Kimi #ZAi #Perplexity #ArtificialIntelligence #LLM #Joke #jokes

Why did the two electrical cables split up?

There was no spark between them.

#funny #jokes #dadjokes

I’m delighted to have beaten my friend in a wood cutting competition.

He’s a saw loser.

#funny #jokes #dadjokes

What do you call a firefighter who can identify different type of fires?

A fire distinguisher.

#funny #jokes #dadjokes

So, #comedy and the structure of #jokes being about assumptions, the implicit knowledge, and “quiet part” is fucking with my brain.

Here's a #jokes I stole from twitter, but then improved, so I feel pretty good about it.

Me: I have been banned from three Olive Gardens for depleting their free bread sticks stockpiles.
Priest giving me communion: Your relentless attendance to this church tests my faith.

Tommy Smothers: Soap, Soap, Soap, Soap, Soap, Soap, Soap, Soap.

Dick Smothers: What are you singing?

Tommy: About 8 bars.

#Soap #Jokes

I felt sad when my tube of toothpaste ended up on the ground.

Crest fallen.

#funny #jokes #dadjokes

Somebody scratched all of the little numbers off my Scrabble tiles.

I’ve stopped playing it now, it’s pointless.

#funny #jokes #dadjokes