#coparentingreality — Public Fediverse posts

Your birthday weekend plus family news

I wanted to make the most out of our weekend together because it will be 3 weeks until I’ll have the chance to give you a cuddle again.

Soon it will be your birthday. It’s incredible how fast life moves on and you are at the cutest age where we can have chats, go for walks and I honestly will never tire of you calling me daddy.

Our weekend started with me picking you up from River Town. This is the routine now, for the foreseeable future, I’ll be heading over to River Town come rain, sun or train cancellations and then bringing you home for the weekend.

As it was such a special weekend I had asked our family to join us for lunch at home. During the last few days, I’d been getting things organised with meal planning and activities so we could have the best weekend possible. We can’t trust the British weather but summer is a great time for birthdays because celebrations can be outside, ideally!

Our Saturday with family and a street party

I got up extra early to prepare food and get everything ready, I couldn’t be sure the trains wouldn’t be disrupted so I asked grandma to be at home a little earlier to put the food on so we could eat when we arrive.

Grandma and the rest of our family arrived at our flat before us and hid your presents in my bedroom so we would have a nice family meal before celebrating with cake and presents. I didn’t want to distract you from eating.

I was delighted we could all be together. It’s so rare we can all be at the same place and I was thankful today we could make it, logistically though nothing’s perfect and Olivia had been away with family in Greenland so she wouldn’t be home till later.

Grandma, Clive, Nicola and uncle (I was taking the photo!)

It’s really unfair how things are. We all wanted you to cut the cake and take a few pictures but all the attention seemed a bit much so we had to hold back our excitement so as not to overwhelm you. We see you so little it’s almost impossible not to shower you with attention. I’m trying my best to create a warm relationship with us all but with 2 nights a month in the future, it’s going to be hard. Your mum makes building a relationship very hard, not just with me, but all of our family that loves you and think about you all the time.

Present time

Fortunately you ate really well and we were on schedule meaning a bit of cake for you and lots of presents! Clive lovingly had a special one made for you with your name on it.

The first present was Theresa, a doll that my grandma had and has been with our family for well over 30 years! She would now be passed to you and one day maybe you’ll pass it on to your own little girl. The fact that she’s almost the same size as you could mean it will take a bit of time to get used to! No doubt that before long you’ll be playing with her hair and dressing her up.

Meeting Theresa the doll for the first time!

The other presents were very small but carefully thought about. Grandma and I had spoken about what you would like and I explained that you enjoyed wearing necklaces and putting clips into your hair. Also that I’d noticed that as your hair is still growing you also liked putting those clips on your fingers.

Grandma used this info to curate a beautiful collection of hair clips, ties, rings and even homemade necklaces. This was the perfect present, you couldn’t’ve been happier with it all and as you opened each package you put on even more accessories!

With your new doll and Grandma!

Your uncle got you a family of dolls for your doll house including grandparents, a child and even a doll for the doll! This present was picked to support your imagination and grow the stories you could make up with all the people and even included a little Pluto dog.

Fully accessorised and ready to open your uncle’s presentTaking Theresa and Baby Kelly for a walk?

Family news

I used this occasion to let our family know about a new chapter for us. Daddy and Olivia love each other very much and decided that we wanted a little one to raise alongside you. A few weeks ago we went to the first scan and your sibling is on its way. You’re going to be a big sister!

With me you will always have a warm loving family and home. While I can’t have you with me as much as I would like, a time will come when you will be able to make the decision for yourself and join us whenever you like, including your sibling.

Brother or sister?

The rest of our afternoon and a street party

When it’s time for a nap you seem to prefer to go in the buggy, perhaps because that usually means waking up at the park, so I let our family know we needed to head out so you gave everyone a hug and a kiss then we set off for a walk. We went past the activity centre’s annual street party bustling with kids, music and even a bouncy castle. Of course you were interested so I let you know that we would come back. You soon dozed off and I listened to a podcast while doing loops of the quiet residential streets. I thought about how well the day was going and all the nice things still to come.

When we got back to the street party it was a bit too busy and loud so we were only there for a little while and returned home. All your new toys meant you were happy playing and then to my surprise you created a new game. It went like this: you’d close the door then knock and tell me which scary animal was outside! I learnt the rules of the game so we played it with you dreaming up a new animal each time and I would discreetly do the knocking!

Your creativity is wonderful to see, it wasn’t long ago when you came home from hospital as a newborn and just lay there, creating delight with any tiny smile or wriggle. Now you’re making up games for us to play and have so much imagination!

I created a game as well. Near your bedroom door I laid out Uno cards to make a barrier that you couldn’t pass. I then challenged you to get out by either walking around or jumping over. Each time you thought about how to avoid the cards like a cat planning a route with all its agility.

I almost couldn’t believe how perfect this time was. Just me and you playing and giggling. It’s everything I dream of.

Back at the street party

As the afternoon went on and I could hear the music settle down from the street party, I suggested we went back to see how it was going. I knew it was too noisy and busy earlier but it could be better now and ultimately the 1 minute walk meant if it wasn’t enjoyable we could come home to make dinner.

We got back to the party and Anya and Annie had arrived as well as Lilly, Anthony and their little one Oscar. The bouncy castle was much quieter too so I encouraged you to jump in with Anya. Both of you were really sweet, you held hands and chased each other around.

You have lots of little ones to make lifelong friends with in the neighbourhood. I’m trying to foster your relationships with local children so you have even more reasons to want to spend time with me in the Big City.

Bouncing around with Annie

Lilly and Anthony gave Oscar dinner from the guest food vendor which specialised in kid friendly meals. I wasn’t sure if we should eat out or at home so I waited for a review from Oscar. He confirmed the food was tasty so I got us some and we had a rest from all the running around.

After you’d eaten I suggested it would be best to avoid the bouncy castle so you, Annie and Oscar played with the bubble machine until it was time to head home.

You enjoyed it so much you told me how much you loved it when we were at home. The day had been a lot of fun for both of us. I knew you’d sleep well.

Playing with Annie at the streetpartyPlaying with Annie and Oscar at the streetparty

Our Sunday tradition

In the morning I woke up to you calling me over. I checked the baby monitor and could see you were moving about but waiting in bed so I went over and gave you a morning kiss. As I tidied up your bedroom you hopped over to the living room to play with your doll house and as you remembered different gifts you asked where they were and I brought them over, some having been put aside so as to not distract you from bedtime.

Our morning of kids TV, playing and of course your morning milk continued with our tradition of crepes for breakfast when Olivia woke up. I love a lazy morning at home.

Birthday picnic

Bit by bit we got things ready for the picnic. All the usual stuff like blankets and countless containers with different foods. I was amazed how many bags there were in the end.

Ahead of midday we set off to the park. In the buggy you took the opportunity to nap and on arrival at the popular picnic spot you were still in snoozeville, so you were carried around in loops while our base for the day was organised.

Our friends arrived and more food joined the collection for us to nibble at. Harmony Park has a popular spot for kids picnics. It was buzzing with energy, all around us others were celebrating and families had brought lots of outdoor toys. At times it was difficult to figure out which kids belonged to which groups as the kids amassed around the toys that had effectively become communal.

The most interesting toy was the stomp rockets. It seemed to be the toy of the summer with all the kids circling them and taking turns to fire them off in the sky or at each other. I’ll get you one for next year for sure.

We spent the afternoon in the park chatting, snacking and keeping an eye on you. Everyone could see how delightful you are.

Once Annie arrived you both spent hours running around together like besties. Annie is great with little ones and was very patient with you.

Having fun with Annie and her skipping rope

Before Anya and Annie headed home, you gave Annie a lovely hug and I encouraged you to thank her for sharing her toys.

Inevitably time reached ever closer to 5pm so I had to ensure we were home for the handover.

A classic dropped-item-out-of-the-buggy moment

Jane, Mark and Cat kindly offered to help me with bags (Olivia had already gone back to the flat to rest) so we walked back. The timings were smooth but I hadn’t anticipated that you would drop a hairband. It had a little flower on it so as we noticed you were looking back and mentioned a flower, we assumed you were referring to a flower from one of the front gardens and didn’t think much else about it. When you burst out crying and explained a little more, I realised it was the hairband!

Mark offered to run back to look for it. Searching for a grey hairband against a grey pavement didn’t seem promising but he managed to find it after a bit of time. That time meaning that we were rushed to get home for 5pm.

Bumping into your mum

It was 5 to 5 and as we reached the junction near home, I noticed your mum waiting in her car so I decided I would let her know we would be a moment rather than walk past and pretend I hadn’t seen her. She demanded I hand you over straight away so I explained I needed to change you and give you a chance to go to the loo.

Jane, Mark and Cat stood stunned at how aggressive your mum was being. I don’t talk about your mum much but my friends must realise it’s a difficult situation for me. Now they witnessed the typical behaviour and atmosphere your mum creates.

I think that because we were in a group things didn’t become much worse. We went home feeling like a popped balloon.

Jane and Mark helped with the bags up to the entrance to our home. We were surprised that your mum had already got there and was creating panic as if it was very late. The time at this point was 5pm and I only needed a few minutes to organise you and go back down.

Getting ready feeling panicked

You know the routine before handover now so with no fuss you got changed and I encouraged you to wee. Naturally you wanted to take the bracelets home so I told you that I wanted to keep them with me for when you were back. You negotiated with me and asked if you could play with them as you got ready, which I of course agreed with, then you asked if you could show them to your mum, which was the point I realised it would be best to let you head off with them rather than upset you.

In the lift on the way down I told you I loved you. At the entrance your mum immediately started complaining that I was late. At this point it was barely 10 minutes past 5. She fired off so many complaints within a minute I could barely take them in. I didn’t know how or what to respond to so she moved on to quizzing you about food, to which you oddly said you had eaten bacon. It was the last thing I needed given the situation and I didn’t understand why you said that when we didn’t have any bacon.

It’s starting to feel like you say negative things because you’re triggered by your mum’s horrible behaviour.

A final hurdle

If the handover wasn’t already stressful enough, we realised I had forgotten your raggy so I said I’d quickly get it and literally ran up the stairs to save a few seconds not waiting for the lift.

When I got back outside your mum was driving and didn’t stop but reached out of the window to get the raggy while moving and rushed off.

I didn’t get a chance to say goodbye and stood in the middle of the street empty but with the heaviest racing heart.

As I walked back inside I checked my watch and realised it was barely 15 minutes past 5.

So much panic, negativity and issues over so little. I’ve been extremely punctual and this time I decided it would be best to be a little late rather than let you be upset over a lost item.

I won’t see you for 3 weeks and this was our last moment after such a lovely weekend. It’s another bad memory and tension that you have to put up with.

Wishing things were better

The irony is that if things were easier with your mum everything could have been sorted calmly and you would’ve been on your way much, much quicker.

I wasn’t able to say happy birthday properly and for the next few weeks you’ll be on holiday. A pleasure we’re denied.

#birthday #birthdayParty #bouncyCastle #coParenting #coParentingReality #community #dad #dadBlogger #dadLife #daughter #doll #family #familyTime #fatherSRights #fatherhood #games #gifts #grandmother #handover #imagination #neighborhood #parentalAlienation #parenting #park #parkDays #picnic #pregnancyAnnouncement #siblingNews #sister #streetParty #toddler #toddlerLife

Your birthday weekend plus family news

I wanted to make the most out of our weekend together because it will be 3 weeks until I’ll have the chance to give you a cuddle again.

Soon it will be your birthday. It’s incredible how fast life moves on and you are at the cutest age where we can have chats, go for walks and I honestly will never tire of you calling me daddy.

Our weekend started with me picking you up from River Town. This is the routine now, for the foreseeable future, I’ll be heading over to River Town come rain, sun or train cancellations and then bringing you home for the weekend.

As it was such a special weekend I had asked our family to join us for lunch at home. During the last few days, I’d been getting things organised with meal planning and activities so we could have the best weekend possible. We can’t trust the British weather but summer is a great time for birthdays because celebrations can be outside, ideally!

Our Saturday with family and a street party

I got up extra early to prepare food and get everything ready, I couldn’t be sure the trains wouldn’t be disrupted so I asked grandma to be at home a little earlier to put the food on so we could eat when we arrive.

Grandma and the rest of our family arrived at our flat before us and hid your presents in my bedroom so we would have a nice family meal before celebrating with cake and presents. I didn’t want to distract you from eating.

I was delighted we could all be together. It’s so rare we can all be at the same place and I was thankful today we could make it, logistically though nothing’s perfect and Olivia had been away with family in Greenland so she wouldn’t be home till later.

Grandma, Clive, Nicola and uncle (I was taking the photo!)

It’s really unfair how things are. We all wanted you to cut the cake and take a few pictures but all the attention seemed a bit much so we had to hold back our excitement so as not to overwhelm you. We see you so little it’s almost impossible not to shower you with attention. I’m trying my best to create a warm relationship with us all but with 2 nights a month in the future, it’s going to be hard. Your mum makes building a relationship very hard, not just with me, but all of our family that loves you and think about you all the time.

Present time

Fortunately you ate really well and we were on schedule meaning a bit of cake for you and lots of presents! Clive lovingly had a special one made for you with your name on it.

The first present was Theresa, a doll that my grandma had and has been with our family for well over 30 years! She would now be passed to you and one day maybe you’ll pass it on to your own little girl. The fact that she’s almost the same size as you could mean it will take a bit of time to get used to! No doubt that before long you’ll be playing with her hair and dressing her up.

Meeting Theresa the doll for the first time!

The other presents were very small but carefully thought about. Grandma and I had spoken about what you would like and I explained that you enjoyed wearing necklaces and putting clips into your hair. Also that I’d noticed that as your hair is still growing you also liked putting those clips on your fingers.

Grandma used this info to curate a beautiful collection of hair clips, ties, rings and even homemade necklaces. This was the perfect present, you couldn’t’ve been happier with it all and as you opened each package you put on even more accessories!

With your new doll and Grandma!

Your uncle got you a family of dolls for your doll house including grandparents, a child and even a doll for the doll! This present was picked to support your imagination and grow the stories you could make up with all the people and even included a little Pluto dog.

Fully accessorised and ready to open your uncle’s presentTaking Theresa and Baby Kelly for a walk?

Family news

I used this occasion to let our family know about a new chapter for us. Daddy and Olivia love each other very much and decided that we wanted a little one to raise alongside you. A few weeks ago we went to the first scan and your sibling is on its way. You’re going to be a big sister!

With me you will always have a warm loving family and home. While I can’t have you with me as much as I would like, a time will come when you will be able to make the decision for yourself and join us whenever you like, including your sibling.

Brother or sister?

The rest of our afternoon and a street party

When it’s time for a nap you seem to prefer to go in the buggy, perhaps because that usually means waking up at the park, so I let our family know we needed to head out so you gave everyone a hug and a kiss then we set off for a walk. We went past the activity centre’s annual street party bustling with kids, music and even a bouncy castle. Of course you were interested so I let you know that we would come back. You soon dozed off and I listened to a podcast while doing loops of the quiet residential streets. I thought about how well the day was going and all the nice things still to come.

When we got back to the street party it was a bit too busy and loud so we were only there for a little while and returned home. All your new toys meant you were happy playing and then to my surprise you created a new game. It went like this: you’d close the door then knock and tell me which scary animal was outside! I learnt the rules of the game so we played it with you dreaming up a new animal each time and I would discreetly do the knocking!

Your creativity is wonderful to see, it wasn’t long ago when you came home from hospital as a newborn and just lay there, creating delight with any tiny smile or wriggle. Now you’re making up games for us to play and have so much imagination!

I created a game as well. Near your bedroom door I laid out Uno cards to make a barrier that you couldn’t pass. I then challenged you to get out by either walking around or jumping over. Each time you thought about how to avoid the cards like a cat planning a route with all its agility.

I almost couldn’t believe how perfect this time was. Just me and you playing and giggling. It’s everything I dream of.

Back at the street party

As the afternoon went on and I could hear the music settle down from the street party, I suggested we went back to see how it was going. I knew it was too noisy and busy earlier but it could be better now and ultimately the 1 minute walk meant if it wasn’t enjoyable we could come home to make dinner.

We got back to the party and Anya and Annie had arrived as well as Lilly, Anthony and their little one Oscar. The bouncy castle was much quieter too so I encouraged you to jump in with Anya. Both of you were really sweet, you held hands and chased each other around.

You have lots of little ones to make lifelong friends with in the neighbourhood. I’m trying to foster your relationships with local children so you have even more reasons to want to spend time with me in the Big City.

Bouncing around with Annie

Lilly and Anthony gave Oscar dinner from the guest food vendor which specialised in kid friendly meals. I wasn’t sure if we should eat out or at home so I waited for a review from Oscar. He confirmed the food was tasty so I got us some and we had a rest from all the running around.

After you’d eaten I suggested it would be best to avoid the bouncy castle so you, Annie and Oscar played with the bubble machine until it was time to head home.

You enjoyed it so much you told me how much you loved it when we were at home. The day had been a lot of fun for both of us. I knew you’d sleep well.

Playing with Annie at the streetpartyPlaying with Annie and Oscar at the streetparty

Our Sunday tradition

In the morning I woke up to you calling me over. I checked the baby monitor and could see you were moving about but waiting in bed so I went over and gave you a morning kiss. As I tidied up your bedroom you hopped over to the living room to play with your doll house and as you remembered different gifts you asked where they were and I brought them over, some having been put aside so as to not distract you from bedtime.

Our morning of kids TV, playing and of course your morning milk continued with our tradition of crepes for breakfast when Olivia woke up. I love a lazy morning at home.

Birthday picnic

Bit by bit we got things ready for the picnic. All the usual stuff like blankets and countless containers with different foods. I was amazed how many bags there were in the end.

Ahead of midday we set off to the park. In the buggy you took the opportunity to nap and on arrival at the popular picnic spot you were still in snoozeville, so you were carried around in loops while our base for the day was organised.

Our friends arrived and more food joined the collection for us to nibble at. Harmony Park has a popular spot for kids picnics. It was buzzing with energy, all around us others were celebrating and families had brought lots of outdoor toys. At times it was difficult to figure out which kids belonged to which groups as the kids amassed around the toys that had effectively become communal.

The most interesting toy was the stomp rockets. It seemed to be the toy of the summer with all the kids circling them and taking turns to fire them off in the sky or at each other. I’ll get you one for next year for sure.

We spent the afternoon in the park chatting, snacking and keeping an eye on you. Everyone could see how delightful you are.

Once Annie arrived you both spent hours running around together like besties. Annie is great with little ones and was very patient with you.

Having fun with Annie and her skipping rope

Before Anya and Annie headed home, you gave Annie a lovely hug and I encouraged you to thank her for sharing her toys.

Inevitably time reached ever closer to 5pm so I had to ensure we were home for the handover.

A classic dropped-item-out-of-the-buggy moment

Jane, Mark and Cat kindly offered to help me with bags (Olivia had already gone back to the flat to rest) so we walked back. The timings were smooth but I hadn’t anticipated that you would drop a hairband. It had a little flower on it so as we noticed you were looking back and mentioned a flower, we assumed you were referring to a flower from one of the front gardens and didn’t think much else about it. When you burst out crying and explained a little more, I realised it was the hairband!

Mark offered to run back to look for it. Searching for a grey hairband against a grey pavement didn’t seem promising but he managed to find it after a bit of time. That time meaning that we were rushed to get home for 5pm.

Bumping into your mum

It was 5 to 5 and as we reached the junction near home, I noticed your mum waiting in her car so I decided I would let her know we would be a moment rather than walk past and pretend I hadn’t seen her. She demanded I hand you over straight away so I explained I needed to change you and give you a chance to go to the loo.

Jane, Mark and Cat stood stunned at how aggressive your mum was being. I don’t talk about your mum much but my friends must realise it’s a difficult situation for me. Now they witnessed the typical behaviour and atmosphere your mum creates.

I think that because we were in a group things didn’t become much worse. We went home feeling like a popped balloon.

Jane and Mark helped with the bags up to the entrance to our home. We were surprised that your mum had already got there and was creating panic as if it was very late. The time at this point was 5pm and I only needed a few minutes to organise you and go back down.

Getting ready feeling panicked

You know the routine before handover now so with no fuss you got changed and I encouraged you to wee. Naturally you wanted to take the bracelets home so I told you that I wanted to keep them with me for when you were back. You negotiated with me and asked if you could play with them as you got ready, which I of course agreed with, then you asked if you could show them to your mum, which was the point I realised it would be best to let you head off with them rather than upset you.

In the lift on the way down I told you I loved you. At the entrance your mum immediately started complaining that I was late. At this point it was barely 10 minutes past 5. She fired off so many complaints within a minute I could barely take them in. I didn’t know how or what to respond to so she moved on to quizzing you about food, to which you oddly said you had eaten bacon. It was the last thing I needed given the situation and I didn’t understand why you said that when we didn’t have any bacon.

It’s starting to feel like you say negative things because you’re triggered by your mum’s horrible behaviour.

A final hurdle

If the handover wasn’t already stressful enough, we realised I had forgotten your raggy so I said I’d quickly get it and literally ran up the stairs to save a few seconds not waiting for the lift.

When I got back outside your mum was driving and didn’t stop but reached out of the window to get the raggy while moving and rushed off.

I didn’t get a chance to say goodbye and stood in the middle of the street empty but with the heaviest racing heart.

As I walked back inside I checked my watch and realised it was barely 15 minutes past 5.

So much panic, negativity and issues over so little. I’ve been extremely punctual and this time I decided it would be best to be a little late rather than let you be upset over a lost item.

I won’t see you for 3 weeks and this was our last moment after such a lovely weekend. It’s another bad memory and tension that you have to put up with.

Wishing things were better

The irony is that if things were easier with your mum everything could have been sorted calmly and you would’ve been on your way much, much quicker.

I wasn’t able to say happy birthday properly and for the next few weeks you’ll be on holiday. A pleasure we’re denied.

#birthday #birthdayParty #bouncyCastle #coParenting #coParentingReality #community #dad #dadBlogger #dadLife #daughter #doll #family #familyTime #fatherSRights #fatherhood #games #gifts #grandmother #handover #imagination #neighborhood #parentalAlienation #parenting #park #parkDays #picnic #pregnancyAnnouncement #siblingNews #sister #streetParty #toddler #toddlerLife