Live and recent posts from across the Fediverse tagged #characteronthenews, aggregated by home.social.
Iran's Assembly of Experts just named Mojtaba Khamenei as the new Supreme Leader, proving once again that in a theocracy, divine inspiration mysteriously runs through family genes—because when it comes to picking God's representative on Earth, nothing beats a quite like inheriting the job from dad.
#CharacterOnTheNews #politics #satire #humor #TheocracyNepotism #DivineInheritance #FamilyPolitics
Today's top ten tag trends:
10: #spd
9: #LTWBW26
8: #frauentag
7: #iwd2026
6: #iwd
5: #weltfrauentag
4: #8m
3: #internationalwomensday
2: #CharacterOnTheNews
1: #SilentSunday
BREAKING! 100 Acre Wood News.
Winnie-The-Pooh Exonerated in paedo-bondage scandal: Pooh did not truss up Piglet with an apple in his mouth.
“That was Owl” said Piglet.
Film at eleven-and-a-half.
Pepé Le Pew shows up in the Epstein files. Trump calls him “a good guy”.
"Boy Has Terrible, Horrible, No-Good, Very Bad Day"
"NYC Cab Driver Loses Last Point On Hack License"
#CharacterOnTheNews Ted Clubberlang runs for president 2016.
Universe holds breath in anticipation.
Breaking: It definitely is the Spanish Inquisition!
Breaking: AI-powered car wanted in connection to a series of incidents including the kidnapping of a bouffant-haired man and crashing through piles of cardboard boxes. Last seen driving into the back of a lorry via a needlessly complicated process. #CharacterOnTheNews #HashtagGames
WW2 hero rescued from iceberg. Vows to fight crime and enemies of American government.
Coming up after the break, how do you know if it is the children who are wrong? But first, the Aurora borealis effect: Can it really be confined to one man's kitchen? A local school superintendent seems to think so
Controversial Cop: Harry Callahan Kills Again
Diminutive Gangster Turns Self In, Raves About Trickster Rabbit
Albuquerque: Notorious bank robber Harold “Baby Face” Finster, AKA Ant Hill Harry, appeared at the Albuquerque Sheriff’s office early Tuesday morning.
Deputies report Finster was agitated, disoriented, and suffering from a number of injuries. “The poor guy begged us to put him in lockup. Claimed there was a rabbit trying to kill him. After realizing who we had on our hands, we were more than glad to oblige.”
Finster claimed this rabbit developed a thirst for blood after the robber tried hiding money stolen from the Last National Bank in its hole. “According to Finster, what he thought was just a hole turned out to be an entire cave system which the rabbit had converted to a modern home, complete with electrity, water, cooking appliances. It was even furnished for the care of a baby, with a high chair and crib. We don’t know what Finster’s been drinking, but the fellas at the station hope we can find some before our next poker game.”
No rabbit has been found as of this printing, but the Acme Bugle staff hope to interview Finster soon for more information on this supposed anthropomorphic lepus.
Beverly Hills Banker Arrested For Voyeurism, Illegal Recording, Theft, Wire Fraud
Beverly Hills: Milton Drysdale, a local banker, was taken into custody late Saturday night on charges of illegally planting a camera in the bedroom of one Ellie Mae Clampett of Beverly Hills. Authorities state Miss Clampett discovered the device and alerted local police, who conducted an investigation which led them to the suspect. While searching Drysdale’s Burbank apartment, police found evidence linking him to the theft of up to three million dollars in bank customers’ funds, the majority of which came from the Clampett’s family holdings. Drysdale is charged with sending the money he removed from the accounts to his own offshore account in the Cayman Islands.
Readers may recall the unlikely story of the Clampett family’s discovery of oil on their property and their decision to move to our fair city. Miss Clampett is something of a local celebrity - Drysdale is the fourth person caught trying to photograph her without her knowledge.
Drysdale’s arraignment is set for Monday morning. Calls to his attorney have not been answered as of press time.
West Side SWF seeks female to share apt.
Scientist Contacts Dead Parent
“Tonight’s story: We won’t tell you which so-called ‘secret’ operative shot up another embassy, but we’ll give you 007 guesses.”
Anchor 1: A Manhattan woman was committed for a psych evaluation last night after claiming that a canine ghost is living in her refrigerator.
Anchor 2: That’s right, Jan. The woman, identified only as a member of the local philharmonic, reported that the ghost dog even tried to fry eggs on her countertop!
A1: Man’s best friend AND a whiz in the kitchen? Sign me up!
A2: So true, Jan. Now over to Hale McLeod for the weather.
and let's get that weather report...
(singing) Somewhere over The Chevron...
Brothers on a mission from God.
Very loud rabbit makes wrong turn at Albuquerque
#CharacterOnTheNews
Danau Segara Anak
Gunung Rinjani
Lombok Island
Segara Anak lake
Rinjani mountain
Indonesia
Southest Asia
#natureinspired
#nature #naturephotography
#Photosky
#art
#mountain
#moots #mutual #outdoor
#indonesia #wildlife #bluesky #lake #rinjani
#traveling
#HashtagGames
#CharacterOnTheNews
Screech gets elected Senator where he perfects the art of filibuster.
#HashtagGames
#CharacterOnTheNews
Snooki hears a rumor that construction is underway for a Mar A Lago II on Jersey Shore and flees to Canada.
#HashtagGames
#CharacterOnTheNews
Rothschild's Septic System Sucking Services have closed all U.S. branches, resolving to operate only from and for Canada from HQ in Port Asbestos.
#RedGreen
#HashtagGames
#CharacterOnTheNews
Natasha and Boris got their US Gold Visa and now want to deport Moose and Squirrel to Ethiopia.
Florida Man Orders Son’s Yearling Deer Killed — DHS Secretary Unavailable for Comment
#HashtagGames
#CharacterOnTheNews
Boss Hogg applies for ambassadorship to Iran
#HashtagGames
#CharacterOnTheNews
Trump is in Dukes of Hazzard as Boss Hogg.
#HashtagGames
#CharacterOnTheNews
The Dukes of Hazzard are Lindsey Graham's top advisors.
“Morbidly Obese Cat Removed From Home, Owner Charged With Animal Endangerment”
Animal Control reports that the man, identified only as John A. in court records, fed the orange tabby cat a strict diet of lasagna for most of the cat’s life, resulting in obesity, lethargy, lack of motivation, gastrointestinal distress, and intense grumpiness.
A Wisconsin man was waterskiing while wearing a leather jacket. This sight didn't just get the attention of curious onlookers, it attracted a shark! Footage shows the man jumped the shark and evaded harm.
When asked for a comment, the man known by friends as "Fonzie" only said, "Aaaa".
Successful raid "obliterates" nuclear program of unnamed country. 2 months on, we are at war.
Spice Prices Soar as New Duke Takes On Arrakis
Old Spice Popularity Surges
Jedi charged with perjury after heated Imperial Senate hearing. Claims he was telling the truth, "from a certain point of view"
Raymond failed to account for how many people actually hate him.
Aspirational sci-fi series “did a ‘woke’”
Wrong man executed after prison break. Prison officials admit they could have done far, far better.
Recalled to Life: New Shoemaker Cobbling Like Gangbusters!
“It was the best of times!”
Cats and dogs living together! Human sacrifice! Mass Hysteria!
Local Man Arrested For Hiding Cameras In Lane Bryant Dressing Rooms
NSA disavows existence of International Monetary Fund "Agents" attempting break in of government blacksite
A man dressed like a court jester was arrested after trying to build, what he called, a "Monument to Non-Existence". He kept calling the officers who handcuffed him as characters from a self-help book.
Man in black glasses and a dark trench coat found breaking into an Apple Store trying to find a MacBook Neo. He kept on mutter something about "The One".
Kansas teen charged with murder after woman doused with unknown fluid dies
Lost Wizard, presumed dead, found alive