#bensonupdate — Public Fediverse posts
Live and recent posts from across the Fediverse tagged #bensonupdate, aggregated by home.social.
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A neighbor just caught me and Benson playing Booty Check Time in the front yard.
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In the time that it took for evening Mass to begin and end, Benson moseyed the two blocks to the gas station so I could get a forbidden slushie and drop in the vintage store I've been dying to visit. Then he saw the pet food store.
Benson literally dug his heels in and we silently battled there for a zillion years.
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Dear Benson,
This red rashy looking circle on your belly better be an allergic reaction to some bush you squatted over this morning.Swear to god if it's some dog version of some auto immune cancer thyroid whatever, I'mma mother-effin' crash out.
I'm keeping an eye on you and your pooch belly for the weekend.
Don't make me call Dr. Frasier.
Love,
Your Dog Mom Who Really Needs to Not Worry About Your Health Right Now -
Benson is secured to the heaviest furniture I have so he can lay in our open doorway and doze in the sun.
Do I care that I am likely violating middle class apartment dweller norms?
Nope.
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Me: [telling a coworker about Benson's first consensual butt sniffing and how proud I was of him]
Her: The more you talk about him the more he sounds sorta neuro spicy - doesn't like eye contact, hates loud noises, needs everything calm and quiet, has niche interests*, loves wind in his face, and avoids strangers.
Me: He's my big sensitive boi.
Anyway, he let another dog sniff his butt the other day for about 5 seconds.
*Niche interests: snacks, ripping up stuff, birds and squirrels.
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How to begin your Very Relaxing #Sunday:
Wrestle a very big pitbull (who is determined to lick his big paw that has another ouchie on it) to the floor, get him restrained and muzzled, and then clean, sanitize, and dress his self-imposed toe wound.
Then roll around the floor for a while so he can't tear off the temporary bootie and bandage.
I am very very very relaxed right now!
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Congrats, Benson, on removing your brand new muzzle in the middle of a ride and then chewing on it. All before 7.30 am.
Schmoopie dickhead.
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Sometimes you need to spend the final 90 minutes of your workday giving your dog frozen blueberries (picking out the mushy ones), throwing Greenie puppy bombs, and letting him pick the walking route.
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Benson dooming us to a life on the stairs after our walk.
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Home from brunch, fed the Benson, puttering about.
I finish puttering. The apartment is quiet. Like, *too* quiet.
Where. Is. Benson.
Not in the kitchen.
Not in the livingroom.
Not in Safe Space.He is curled up next to my bed, all drowsy and cozy in the middle of a laundry pile.
Me: Absolutely not. Out. Out.
Benson: [not moving]
Me: This is MY Safe Space. You -- no. Out.I had to lure him out with treats.
I refuse to cede the bedroom to him. That's MY place! Not his! He already Benson-d all the other parts of the apartment!
I refuse!
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Note to self: Benson with a red 🚀 and also in his puppy energy is a bad combo for a visit to the pub.
He was an adorable dick and as I dragged him out of there after having only ONE delicious coffee stout, I said, He did his best.
And the couple by the door said, He did great!
His home Zoomie was EPIC
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My dog guy (No Bark Zone and The Pawlor) is such a good guy.
An older client got her rental car bipped while she was in his shop waiting for her dog.
(It is Oakland...)He helped her file a report, use find my laptop on her phone to tell OPD where it was (guess what OPD told them?), drove her to her air bnb to get her stuff (she was returning home to socal), drove her to the airport car rental place, helped her file another report and get amother car rental, dropped off another transport dog, and THEN came to pick up me and Benson (he was late but we were ok with it -- Benson liked hanging out at daycare trying to go home with everyone.)
I told him Good Guy karma was coming his way. I really hope it is.
Another man I'm glad to call brother.
Benson was just happy to rub his face all over his car.
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Benson has started doing this new thing:
When I work from home and start my meetings, he gets up from his bed, grumphs at me and goes to Safe Place (the bathroom) where it's quiet.
Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Man, am I disturbing your peace as I earn the dollars keeping you fed and daycared??
You don't even pay rent here. Hmph.
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Benson has been napping all day since coming home from his sleepover.
He was all stimulated and lively when I picked him up. He even patrolled the garage to make sure everything was ok.
As soon as we were inside the apartment, he patrolled my bedroom, the kitchen, the livingroom, then napped all day. He is going to wake me up super early for his morning walk.
But for now he's snoring in his little tent.
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Watching Benson rip the guts out of a discarded shoe.
It looks like the shoe is bleeding, doesnt it?
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Benson is in his rainy day Heads Up 7Up energy.
Since waking up from his nap he has been in *everything.*
So I've literally been throwing enrichment game after enrichment game at him for two hours. It's like chasing a toddler.
He is a giant blue staffy puppy right now.
Omg. -
Ok, Dog Portrait Lady.
You got me talking about Benson and thinking about his 🌈 bridge.Nicely played.
Benson is gonna have the cutest portrait ever.
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Benson was a bit of a schmoopie on the walk after work.
We ran into neighbor M who talked with us for a long time. In that meantime, Benson ate all his snacks. As we resumed our walk, M decided to walk back with us and, at one point, Benson stopped and looked at him like, Who TF are you and why are you here?
I'm sure this is why Benson deliberately dragged his ass on the way back. He kept stopping and looking at M. Are you still here?
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Gotdammit.
I wrote a whole sweet post about me and Benson at the pub.And Masto just ate it.
Gotdammit.
Anyway.
We had a nice pint at Cask on College. -
Dog walk fit check!
New New Balance.
The kids are pulling their socks up so that's what I did, too. I absolutely look like a goober.My socks say: My dog and I talk shit about you.
Heh.
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Dog walk fit check!
New New Balance.
The kids are pulling their socks up so that's what I did, too. I absolutely look like a goober.My socks say: My dog and I talk shit about you.
Heh.
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Dog walk fit check!
New New Balance.
The kids are pulling their socks up so that's what I did, too. I absolutely look like a goober.My socks say: My dog and I talk shit about you.
Heh.
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Dog walk fit check!
New New Balance.
The kids are pulling their socks up so that's what I did, too. I absolutely look like a goober.My socks say: My dog and I talk shit about you.
Heh.
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Dog walk fit check!
New New Balance.
The kids are pulling their socks up so that's what I did, too. I absolutely look like a goober.My socks say: My dog and I talk shit about you.
Heh.
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Benson was tired of my Zoom calls today. He went into safe space more than once to escape my voice.
The decompression gave him loads of energy later. We played for a long time after our post work walk. He zoomied and ripped up lots of paper looking for treats.
I, on the other hand, am wiped. I spent half the night sleeping on the couch next to him because he found the cookies I forgot to put away when I went to bed. I was worried how the tiny nibbles he made on the chocolate chip cookies would affect him so I slept next to his snoring face all night in case I needed to give him an emetic. My back is wrecked.
But he seems fine! His poops and appetite were good all day. This boi is a tank.
I'll be more vigilant with the cookies next time.
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Once again, Benson is taking his time to enjoy the breezes from our landing. You can also see how long he is.
We were sitting on Safeway Plaza and a girl literally pointed at Benson and said, Dad look how big that pug is!
He would be the biggest pug ever.
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Benson doesn't need those talking buttons. He makes his needs very clear.
After our post-work walk, which was supposed to be 10 min but *someone* dragged it to 45, Benson stomped into the kitchen, grabbed his food bowl (and then ripped out the slow feeder), and dropped it in front of me.
Message received, good buddy.
He got fed.
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Cont.
I was asking a dad and his daughter if they had passed a grey pitbull. They were telling me no when I looked across the street and there was Benson, crossing the street toward me in the middle of rush hour Rockridge drop off traffic!
Me: Benson! Cross cross Benson! Cross cross! (This is what I say to him when we cross the street.)
He ran up to me his fur a little puffy, a sign that he was a little freaked out.
I immediately connected his leash and we walked. I castigated myself the whole time. I knew the biggest risk of letting Benson off leash in the building was the garage gate opening. He loves the garage gate. He's fascinated with it. Of *course* I should have anticipated someone leaving. Of course I should have kept him with me for the trash detour then let him run to the front gate when everything was secure. And on and on.
Benson of course seemed to enjoy his walk about but also seems very happy to be back inside, fed and safe, on the couch.
Learning is continuous.
2/2
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#BensonUpdate
Today was an adventure.I had a bag of weekend trash to take down so I let Benson run down to the front gate by himself while I took a quick detour to the trash bin.
Benson's jingling collar tags told me where he was by the front gate and I smiled at his excitement.
I was halfway down the back stairs when I heard someone start their car and open the garage gate. Oh shit. I heard Benson's jingle run to the garage. Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
And then I didn't hear his jingle. Fuck!
I threw the trash into the bin, ran through the now closed garage (no Benson) to the front gate. No Benson.
In the front of the apartment, up and down the block. No Benson.
Fuuuuuck.
1/
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My new gloves for walking Benson: xsmall work gloves.
I love them! While the red Italian leather gloves were chic, Benson soon made quick work of them because of him literally nipping the fingers giving him treats.
These still protect my hands from the leash, help my grip, are flexible, and are essential with the 💩 pickup. Also more cost effective.
They also make me feel I can throw a hammer at someone if necessary.
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So i guess i'm spending the rest of the day on the stairs until his nap is over.
Every year my sweet schmoopie boi gets a little bit slower.
He wants to go hard and then he hits his pittie capacity wall and goes, I lay here's now.
#BensonUpdate
#SeniorDogsOfMastodon
#DogsOfMastodon
#BrunchedTooHard -
Benson enjoying the taproom.
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Whatever giant gremlin inhabited Benson after his sponge down can kiss my ass.
He went from docile stinky schmoopie to food foraging menace who almost knocked a mug of coffee onto my laptop.
I heard the chaos from the other room and found him slurping up the remaining dregs of my heavily creamed coffee on the floor. Is incidental caffeine bad for dogs?
He later refused to go for a walk (once again turning around in his harness as soon as the front door shut behind us.) He sat in protest until we went back inside and I fed him.
He's snoring now.
Asshole.
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Whatever giant gremlin inhabited Benson after his sponge down can kiss my ass.
He went from docile stinky schmoopie to food foraging menace who almost knocked a mug of coffee onto my laptop.
I heard the chaos from the other room and found him slurping up the remaining dregs of my heavily creamed coffee on the floor. Is incidental caffeine bad for dogs?
He later refused to go for a walk (once again turning around in his harness as soon as the front door shut behind us.) He sat in protest until we went back inside and I fed him.
He's snoring now.
Asshole.
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Whatever giant gremlin inhabited Benson after his sponge down can kiss my ass.
He went from docile stinky schmoopie to food foraging menace who almost knocked a mug of coffee onto my laptop.
I heard the chaos from the other room and found him slurping up the remaining dregs of my heavily creamed coffee on the floor. Is incidental caffeine bad for dogs?
He later refused to go for a walk (once again turning around in his harness as soon as the front door shut behind us.) He sat in protest until we went back inside and I fed him.
He's snoring now.
Asshole.
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Whatever giant gremlin inhabited Benson after his sponge down can kiss my ass.
He went from docile stinky schmoopie to food foraging menace who almost knocked a mug of coffee onto my laptop.
I heard the chaos from the other room and found him slurping up the remaining dregs of my heavily creamed coffee on the floor. Is incidental caffeine bad for dogs?
He later refused to go for a walk (once again turning around in his harness as soon as the front door shut behind us.) He sat in protest until we went back inside and I fed him.
He's snoring now.
Asshole.
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Whatever giant gremlin inhabited Benson after his sponge down can kiss my ass.
He went from docile stinky schmoopie to food foraging menace who almost knocked a mug of coffee onto my laptop.
I heard the chaos from the other room and found him slurping up the remaining dregs of my heavily creamed coffee on the floor. Is incidental caffeine bad for dogs?
He later refused to go for a walk (once again turning around in his harness as soon as the front door shut behind us.) He sat in protest until we went back inside and I fed him.
He's snoring now.
Asshole.
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Gave Benson a sponge bath in the kitchen while I was in a slack huddle with my team.
I went to clean his butt and he instantly clenched, sat down, and then went on a giant zoomie, making the bar cart rattle, running into the plants, and making the dishes cupboard shake like an earthquake.
He makes me laugh so much.
Benson loves being a clean boi but he does not like having his butt touched!
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#BlackJoy reporting from the Bay area:
it is a balmy sunny 75 and I have walked Benson through his favorite spots,
chatted extensively with 3 neighbors (oh the tea I have gathered!),
gave doggo a robust breakfast and post meal mommy scritches (he likes a good rub down after eating),
made a probiotic smoothie for middle aged gut health,
and all I want is to live my best Lady Bachelor life and enjoy this incredibly gorgeous day.These assholes of Global Jankery won't stand in my way today!
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#BlackJoy reporting from the Bay area:
it is a balmy sunny 75 and I have walked Benson through his favorite spots,
chatted extensively with 3 neighbors (oh the tea I have gathered!),
gave doggo a robust breakfast and post meal mommy scritches (he likes a good rub down after eating),
made a probiotic smoothie for middle aged gut health,
and all I want is to live my best Lady Bachelor life and enjoy this incredibly gorgeous day.These assholes of Global Jankery won't stand in my way today!
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#BlackJoy reporting from the Bay area:
it is a balmy sunny 75 and I have walked Benson through his favorite spots,
chatted extensively with 3 neighbors (oh the tea I have gathered!),
gave doggo a robust breakfast and post meal mommy scritches (he likes a good rub down after eating),
made a probiotic smoothie for middle aged gut health,
and all I want is to live my best Lady Bachelor life and enjoy this incredibly gorgeous day.These assholes of Global Jankery won't stand in my way today!
-
#BlackJoy reporting from the Bay area:
it is a balmy sunny 75 and I have walked Benson through his favorite spots,
chatted extensively with 3 neighbors (oh the tea I have gathered!),
gave doggo a robust breakfast and post meal mommy scritches (he likes a good rub down after eating),
made a probiotic smoothie for middle aged gut health,
and all I want is to live my best Lady Bachelor life and enjoy this incredibly gorgeous day.These assholes of Global Jankery won't stand in my way today!
-
#BlackJoy reporting from the Bay area:
it is a balmy sunny 75 and I have walked Benson through his favorite spots,
chatted extensively with 3 neighbors (oh the tea I have gathered!),
gave doggo a robust breakfast and post meal mommy scritches (he likes a good rub down after eating),
made a probiotic smoothie for middle aged gut health,
and all I want is to live my best Lady Bachelor life and enjoy this incredibly gorgeous day.These assholes of Global Jankery won't stand in my way today!
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The disappointment on Benson's face when he realized the Heau was not here to play with him.
Next time, old buddy.
The next Heau will play with you. -
Know what Benson enjoys?
Visits from the mobile vet.What's awesome:
He gets to wrestle on the floor with Dr Frazier and the vet tech.
Constant treats!
Lots of pets and scritches and folks doing fun things to his legs and belly.
He can go outside and pee in a jar!And then he comes upstairs again and takes a nap.
He had his blood pressure taken today and it was so cute I thought I was gonna die. The little cuff with paw 🐾 on it!!
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Live Cumbia music at Safeway Plaza.
A dad and his daughter eating ice cream, dancing, and smiling.
The musicians are taking a break, smoking a joint.
Benson and I under a tree, enjoying the rare Rockridge community chill out vibe.Then a balloon pops! Glitter everywhere! People laughing as confetti rains.
Benson?
Uh-oh. His tail is completely puffed out, and he's trembling head to toe.
If he wasn't tethered to me, he would have run into the street in a panic.We're a block away from the terror balloon, and I say: Take us home, buddy. Find home.
And that sweet schmoopie walks us all the way home! No lollygagging or leash shenanigans. Just a freaked out Benson intent on getting to his Safe Place.
He didn't even want to roll around in my shoes. He went straight to Safe Place.
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Timeline cleanser:
Benson begging for a walk by making it impossible to sit at my desk.
WTF, dog! You're so large.
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TIL Benson will eat raw cauliflower florets.
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My vet is being a poop.
I hate seeing my schmoopie so sad and low energy. (He's clearly picking up on my vibe and being all, 'I'm sick mommy.')
So fine.
I'll flush Benson's eye myself.
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I love how Benson sits close to me during therapy. He brought his nibble paper and nibbled it for 50 minutes straight.
When the hour was up, he looked up at me with the most schmoopie of faces. We were both self-soothing!
I'm so glad this dog wrecked my Lady Bachelor life.