#bensonupdate — Public Fediverse posts
Live and recent posts from across the Fediverse tagged #bensonupdate, aggregated by home.social.
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Benson: [2 hours of absolute senior pittie puppy energy]
Me: [looking at my living room and all the woodchipped cardboard]
Me: You absolute asshole fucking shithead dick.
Benson: 👁👅👁
Me: I love you. You're a c-word.
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Paranoid Dog Mama Chats with Google Chad🤖:
Me: Is food avidity a symptom of hyperthyroidism in dogs.
Chad🤖: No, it's often the opposite, when the dog loses appetite and gains weight rapidly for no reason.
Me: Why is my senior dog so food avid right now? Should I be worried?
🤖: It could be all kinda reasons. Diabetes, onset of Cushing's, dementia, other endocrine or hormonal old dog stuff.
Me: ... His urination and water intake is normal, his energy levels are normal for a senior dog...he is really fit...
🤖: Maybe you should consult your vet...
Me: ...I have put him on a diet, though. He's gone from 3 cups a day to 1.5 cups/day...
🤖: Oh. Your dog is HUNGRY.
Me: [looking at Benson who is locked IN on a croissant in a bag on the table. He isn't blinking.] OK maybe I should have eased you into the diet...
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It was a good walk with Benson this morning.
He played with a 10 mo Wiener dog!
Actual play bows and hos excited bark!An old guy told me all about his girlfriend MaryAnne who's from the Bronx.
A neighbor and I talked about our dogs' health issues. She's a cool neighbor. I like her.
Brnson showed me his belly a lot and he had some good 💩!
I made up a song about a guy I saw dressed head to toe in brown and made myself laugh.
Benson listened while I listed all the ways pitties are a better bet than cishet men.
It's a good start to #Sunday.
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Benson evidently thinks I'm a farmer. He has kept me awake since 6 am.
I think this is a Dog Mama crime.
I have literally been active and on my feet for over 3 hours. Before breakfast. We have traversed all of Rockridge. He has 💩 3 times.
I'm an urban AuntieBachelor.
I need to sleep in gotdammit. -
Benson got himself banned from the kitchen today.
He was being such a dick about foraging for food (because I delayed breakfast) I had to put him in timeout.
(His food obsession is real. When his elderly caregiver was too sick to take care of him, it was suggested that he resorted to trash eating in the meantime and there may have been some early resource guarding when he was first rescued.)
He now has his rounds where he revisits every spot in the apartment where food has made an appearance.
Hmm. I may need to do some re-conditioning about this.
My D-/Top brain is working...
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I just took Benson's measurements.
(Because I am *obsessed* with my sweet Big Boi.)
His ribcage = 31.5 " around
His length = 27" from butt to nape of neck; 32" from butt to forehead
His chest = 10" across
His neck = 27" around
His height = 20" tall
He weighs (at his last weigh-in mid Sept) = 85 lbsOmg. He's rather lorge.
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Watching Benson work through predicaments using his Big Pittie Logic makes me laugh.
In this case, sniffing out the tiny treats in a box full of his torn up toys, chewed leashes, chew toys, and macerated bedding.
Enrichment solution: tire out your dog brain with sniffing and snuffling.
Benson solution: step into the box with your giant paw, flip the box, and get the treats as they slide to the bottom of the box you upended.
Efficient.
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Sunday = farmers market day in Rockridge.
Also, key people/dog watching time for me and Benson.
Already saw a chic young woman with a Papillon called Chop Chop.
The young husky Willow.
Several deep-chested hunting type dogs.
Every Oakland firefighter in the area.
A young dad with three young kids including a toddler, and a dog, holding coffee, crossing the street when the toddler decided the street freaked him out and he just flopped down screaming. It was like he grew three extra arms suddenly.
Benson has already chased several pigeons.
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Taking care of a big dog like Benson is a workout.
Everything is bigger: his messes, his needs, his enrichment, his zoomies -- everything. Even just his rubbing his giant block head against your shin is a workout (to protect your shin and kneecap.)
After an evening fast last night because his tummy was oogie, I made a pumpkin+plain Greek yogurt+probiotics slurry and smeared it on a slow feeder with a few bits of probiotic sensitive stomach kibble sprinkled on top.
Benson was avid but frustrated with the slow feeder. So of course he tossed his food stand. It was like a prison riot in my kitchen.
He's lucky he's cute. And old.
After cleaning up everything my watch was like, Are you working out? Good job!
Assssss.
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Got back from our morning walk/slow jog to find the DeadNeighbor unit next to mine in the middle of demo.
Benson was an immediate no.
With all his gear, he went straight to his Safe Space and swung the door shut with his big head.I de-odorized his Safe Space mat yesterday and he doesn't like that, either.
He is not in his happy zone.
I, on the other hand, feel pretty good. -
A cold shower before bed would be nice...
...If I didn't have a large dog sleeping diagonally across the small bathroom floor blocking my shower.
...Or if the large dog didn't get up and close the door in my face.
Benson makes me laugh.
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Am I misting Benson with a mixture of cold water and coat conditioner (to keep his coat soft) while he wears a cooling cape?
And also feeding him snacks while I pound out content for our new C4?
Why, yes.
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Benson dropped into Nap Formation everytime we hit a warm sunny spot.
Then he'd get up and plop down on a cool shady spot to cool his belly.
Then back to a sunny patch.
Then shade.
Took us literally 45 minutes to get from the garage to my front door.
Y'all, the patience I am mustering.
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You cannot tell me Benson doesn't understand me.
I was in the middle of a call and he came over for attention:
Me: Mommy has a call. I'll feed you at 5.
Benson: [takes a few treats and lays down on his bed looking forsaken]
Me: [later, by his bed grabbing my notes] Mommy's still on her call. I will feed you at 5.
My call ends a while later. I'm writing down notes.
Benson: [appearing at my elbow putting his chin on my knee]
Me: Welp. I said I'd feed you at 5 and it's 5.06. Time for dinner!
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The walk home from Bestie Breakfast turned into Benson's Trail of Naps.
We had to stop 3x so he could grab some shade and rest up.
An hour later from leaving the diner, we are home.
Well, *technically*, we are at the apartment building.
Are we inside? No.
We are enjoying the breeze while Benson cools off in the shade in the front yard.
We should be INSIDE in another 20 minutes.
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Benson's feelings at this morning's pre-day care walk.
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To the neighbor who left half a bag of dog cookies on the curb for trash day:
First, sorry that the cookies are now all over the sidewalk.
Second, thank you for the cardio and lower back work out I received when trying to stop Benson from eating all the cookies through his muzzle. #Jackpot
Third, what the heck, bro! Dog treats on the curb! What are you doing?!?
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Apologies to the homeowner upon whose landscaping Benson unleashed his upset bowels this morning.
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Do want to see how janky Benson looks in his busted down hand-mended muzzle?
I mean, he's a visual deterrent, right? You wouldn't walk up on a woman with this dog at her side.
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things i'm proud of:
i just mended rips in Benson's 2 soft muzzles using packing string and a bent wire.
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I was looking all cool and in control and shit on the dog walk until the leash brushed benson the wrong way, a zoomie was triggered, a giant tug of war game was triggered, his muzzle was ripped in half but I put him in it anyway, and now everyone on the plaza is laughing at us but I don't care.
He looks like Frankenstein and it's hilarious.
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Benson: 👁️ 👅 👁️ :blobble:
Me: Bibi, no need for frenzy. You have cool breezes, snacks, soft beds, electronic beats, and clean water. Mommy will provide. Calm down.
Benson: 👁️ 💓 👁️
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That weird moment when you're sitting on the floor (as one does) and then your dog sits behind you, his booty to your booty.
Like he's saying, I got your back, Mommy.
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Things overheard in this apartment lately (ie., today):
'Omg, Benson. It's so hard to be Big Booty Judy around here.'
'Uh oh. Lookit this nipple. Are you a two spirit doggo, Benson? You got these nipples and you got a pee-pee. Pee pee and nipples. Hm... Men have nipples... and pee-pees. Hmph.'
"Let's count all your lumpy-lumps....5. You have 5 lumpy-lumps. And your 6 nipples. Why do you have so many nipples?"
Sometimes, we don't have the smartest conversations over here.
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Ha! Take that, Mr. Veterinarian!
My Benson is literally big-bone-ded! Your own vet tech said so!
Me: Mr Man Vet Dude said Benson needed to lose weight. We're trying! Honest! But when he's around 75 lbs he starts looking starved and underfed! I don't like that.
Vet Tech: Yeah, Dr. F is like that. Benson is doing fine. I can still feel his spine. [demonstrating]
Benson: [instant butt wiggles]
Vet Tech: And I can see and feel his ribs. [more touches]
Benson: [butt wiggles and now in her lap]
Vet Tech: Mr. Benson is a very healthy boi,. He's just...WIDE, y'know?
HA! Take that, Dr. F!! My schmoopie is just thicc in the middle -- which is what I've been saying all along. Hmph.
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I love how Benson goes into his Quiet Space and closes the door behind him with his big booty as he circles to makes his nest.
He's so considerate.
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What I appreciate Benson is his ability to communicate very clearly who tops the list of Who Mommy Loves.
Whether by staring at the interloper from the door or by staring* at the interloper from the other side of the bed or by taking a loud rumbly nap UNDER the bed, Benson asserts his derpy, schmoopie presence.
And as soon as the interloper makes moves to leave, Benson is right on their heels until the door closes behind them, as if to say, And another thing! Bye!
We're enjoying the quiet now.
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Benson begged to have a walk.
We go outside. He pees. He sniffs.He immediately nopes out after half a block. We turned back and so here we are.
On the stairs enjoying the breeze until he feels spiritually motivated to amble upstairs or our dinner arrives. (I felt like Filipino food from FOB tonight.)