#actually-audhd — Public Fediverse posts
Live and recent posts from across the Fediverse tagged #actually-audhd, aggregated by home.social.
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#Journal of a slightly positive Dutch AuDHD Pixy :pixy_party: (Tuesday, 21/07/2026).
After a not too bad night, we got up and started our day as usual. Well, I haven’t been using the scale a lot lately. It’s hard to stand still on it for a while, and I am afraid of what it will show me when I do use it… But, Koa and I got up, and we started our “day”. Just the usual bits, like getting dressed, taking meds, feeling the wild idiot, hihi. After that, we headed to the couch, where I got my laptop, and I started my email to my very sweet friend.
When I had finished it, I got some brekkie, and I started on my journal toot. Koa wanted to go out, so we went for a short walk, and then we got back, and I finished up with the journal bit. I uploaded it to all the usual places, and then I worked a bit on two new blog entries. It felt good to have some more posts done, as I was “running out” of scheduled posts. And I would hate to break my awesome daily posting streak… So, to have two more posts lined up, yeah, that made me feel a wee bit better. After that, I put away the laptop, and I tried to relax for a bit.
Koa was a bit restless, and he wanted to go out. I went into the garden with him, and while I sat down, I saw something white fall from his mouth. He wanted to grab it, and I asked him to let it go, so I could get it. And, above all my expectations, he moved away and let it be! When I picked it up, it was one of his puppy molars… That would explain the whining and being more restless. He was busy with losing more of his teefs. He already lost one molar, but I didn’t get that one.
We got back inside, and we tried to relax for a bit. Koa struggled a bit with the whole relaxing thing, but, after a little while, he managed to settle down, finally… So, we relaxed for a while, We went out for another short walk, and we relaxed again. Koa was really struggling with his teefs, so, I gave him his first frozen banana lickimat. I had no idea if he would like it but, once he tried it, and realized that he liked it a lot, and he attacked it like a mad puppy! I guess you could call it a big hit. And it helped him to cool his mouth a bit, which was a plus as well. Guess I will need to start getting some more bananas…
I made Koa some food, and then we went out for a little longer walk. When we got back, I got Koa in his crate, and I went upstairs to ride my bike for a while. Koa protested a bit at first, but only a wee bit, and then he settled down for a snooze. I managed to get a half hour ride in. Then, I went back downstairs, and I fixed some food. We went for a short walk after that.
When we got back, I texted my neighbor, and I asked her if she’d be interested in walking to the supermarket with Koa and me. We set up to go together around 9. Just before that, Koa needed a wee, so I got my bag and things, and Koa and I went to the grassy field. When our neighbor came, we set off to the store.
She went in first, and I got my things after that. On the way back, she held Koa, so I could relax a bit with the groceries on my back. When we got back, I cleaned up the groceries, and Koa and I relaxed for a bit. I turned on the doorbell, and checked the estimated delivery time on Koa’s food, and my electronic flyswatter. Ow, and the Blu-rays of Shaun the Sheep… Hihi…
I gave Koa his snufflemat, and we waited for a bit. I managed to clean up a bit of my bedroom, making more space for Koa’s big crate. The delivery came, and after that, Koa and I went out for another walk. When we got back, I prepped things to relax on bed for a while. I wanted to charge the swatter, and I saw a buzzing terrorist in my bedroom. With some effort, I climbed on my bed, and turned on the swatter. And with a big bang, the little terrorist was fried!
Koa had his meal, and we went into the garden for a bit. Then, we got ready to head to bed. I spent some time watching Criminal Minds, and when my meds were kicking in, I got my Kobo and fell asleep while reading.
A big bang woke me up, and I realized that the new swatter had just fried a terrorist on its own, which was wonderful. One less bloodsucker to worry about. I got back to sleep, and woke up when Koa barked. I took him outside, but he seemed more interested in getting a bit to drink than in getting some drinks out… He went back to the crate, and I went back to bed.
When I woke up again, Koa was still snoozing. But my back was killing me, and I had to get up and start moving around. Koa woke up too, and we both started our routine, as we started our “day” a little earlier, due to my back.
Thanks to all for your kindness and support during my "journey through daily life" :bear_love: I really appreciate it :bear_hugs: as it helps me to keep going on bad/harder days! :bear_nuzzle:
:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾
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#Journal of a slightly positive Dutch AuDHD Pixy :pixy_party: (Tuesday, 21/07/2026).
After a not too bad night, we got up and started our day as usual. Well, I haven’t been using the scale a lot lately. It’s hard to stand still on it for a while, and I am afraid of what it will show me when I do use it… But, Koa and I got up, and we started our “day”. Just the usual bits, like getting dressed, taking meds, feeling the wild idiot, hihi. After that, we headed to the couch, where I got my laptop, and I started my email to my very sweet friend.
When I had finished it, I got some brekkie, and I started on my journal toot. Koa wanted to go out, so we went for a short walk, and then we got back, and I finished up with the journal bit. I uploaded it to all the usual places, and then I worked a bit on two new blog entries. It felt good to have some more posts done, as I was “running out” of scheduled posts. And I would hate to break my awesome daily posting streak… So, to have two more posts lined up, yeah, that made me feel a wee bit better. After that, I put away the laptop, and I tried to relax for a bit.
Koa was a bit restless, and he wanted to go out. I went into the garden with him, and while I sat down, I saw something white fall from his mouth. He wanted to grab it, and I asked him to let it go, so I could get it. And, above all my expectations, he moved away and let it be! When I picked it up, it was one of his puppy molars… That would explain the whining and being more restless. He was busy with losing more of his teefs. He already lost one molar, but I didn’t get that one.
We got back inside, and we tried to relax for a bit. Koa struggled a bit with the whole relaxing thing, but, after a little while, he managed to settle down, finally… So, we relaxed for a while, We went out for another short walk, and we relaxed again. Koa was really struggling with his teefs, so, I gave him his first frozen banana lickimat. I had no idea if he would like it but, once he tried it, and realized that he liked it a lot, and he attacked it like a mad puppy! I guess you could call it a big hit. And it helped him to cool his mouth a bit, which was a plus as well. Guess I will need to start getting some more bananas…
I made Koa some food, and then we went out for a little longer walk. When we got back, I got Koa in his crate, and I went upstairs to ride my bike for a while. Koa protested a bit at first, but only a wee bit, and then he settled down for a snooze. I managed to get a half hour ride in. Then, I went back downstairs, and I fixed some food. We went for a short walk after that.
When we got back, I texted my neighbor, and I asked her if she’d be interested in walking to the supermarket with Koa and me. We set up to go together around 9. Just before that, Koa needed a wee, so I got my bag and things, and Koa and I went to the grassy field. When our neighbor came, we set off to the store.
She went in first, and I got my things after that. On the way back, she held Koa, so I could relax a bit with the groceries on my back. When we got back, I cleaned up the groceries, and Koa and I relaxed for a bit. I turned on the doorbell, and checked the estimated delivery time on Koa’s food, and my electronic flyswatter. Ow, and the Blu-rays of Shaun the Sheep… Hihi…
I gave Koa his snufflemat, and we waited for a bit. I managed to clean up a bit of my bedroom, making more space for Koa’s big crate. The delivery came, and after that, Koa and I went out for another walk. When we got back, I prepped things to relax on bed for a while. I wanted to charge the swatter, and I saw a buzzing terrorist in my bedroom. With some effort, I climbed on my bed, and turned on the swatter. And with a big bang, the little terrorist was fried!
Koa had his meal, and we went into the garden for a bit. Then, we got ready to head to bed. I spent some time watching Criminal Minds, and when my meds were kicking in, I got my Kobo and fell asleep while reading.
A big bang woke me up, and I realized that the new swatter had just fried a terrorist on its own, which was wonderful. One less bloodsucker to worry about. I got back to sleep, and woke up when Koa barked. I took him outside, but he seemed more interested in getting a bit to drink than in getting some drinks out… He went back to the crate, and I went back to bed.
When I woke up again, Koa was still snoozing. But my back was killing me, and I had to get up and start moving around. Koa woke up too, and we both started our routine, as we started our “day” a little earlier, due to my back.
Thanks to all for your kindness and support during my "journey through daily life" :bear_love: I really appreciate it :bear_hugs: as it helps me to keep going on bad/harder days! :bear_nuzzle:
:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾
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#Journal of a slightly relaxed Dutch AuDHD Pixy :pixy_party: (Monday, 20/07/2026).
Koa and I had gone to bed early, as we were just beat from the visit to the Herperduin. We had a few interruptions for potty breaks, both for Koa and for me, but in the end, my watch tells me that I managed to sleep for about 8 hours. We got up a bit earlier than usual though, as we’d gone to bed earlier too. This threw me off a little with my usual routine swing, but I managed to make it work.
We got up, and I got dressed. I took my meds, fed Koa, and we went to the couch where I grabbed my laptop. I started with an email to my sweet friend. When I was finished, I grabbed some brekkie. I started writing my journal toot, and then Koa wanted out for a little walk. When we got back, I got back to the laptop, and I finished the journal entry. I uploaded it to all the usual places. And I took some screengrabs from yesterday’s video, so that I could use some for my journal blog post.
While I was working on the pictures, I realized something that made me sob… The first time I ever took Arwen to the Herperduin, it was on July 19, 2024… And now, without realizing it, the first time ever I took Koa to the Herperduin… Was exactly two years later, on July 19, 2026. I don’t know why, but it made me cry so much. Heck, even mentioning it here now… Is making me tear up again.
When I finished the bits and bops, I put away the laptop, and I tried to relax for a while with some Criminal Minds. After some time, Koa woke up again, and we went out for another short walk. After that, I wanted to ride my bike for a while. But, Koa wasn’t too keen on that, and I had to stop after 17 minutes, as I didn’t want him to bark too much during the night.
I fixed Koa some food. I tried to relax for a bit again, as I was struggling to take Koa out for the longer walk. I don’t know why it felt so hard to take him out, it was just… Like it was the worst weather every, and I didn’t want to go out in it… But, the weather was wonderful for a little walk, and it was just me being silly for some reason. In the end, I managed to get off the couch, and Koa and I had a lovely walk together.
When we got back, I managed to clean up a bit of mess that had been annoying me for some time. I still have a lot to do, but I am hoping that I can manage to get it done, bit by bit. When I was done, I got the little vacuum cleaner, and I tried to do a quick “run” around the downstairs area. Koa was very helpful, and tried to bite in the shaft of the little vacuum. It was funny, but also a bit annoying, as it made it harder for me (and my back) to get the stuff done. In the end, there was quite a bit of sand and hair in the little bin, so even the “quick run around” had helped to make things a bit more clean.
Then it was time to head to the supermarket. I got a few things, and got back soon again. I walked with Koa, and then we waited for my coach to come over. When she arrived, we chatted a bit, and then we called the rental building coop, to arrange for some repairs to be done in the house soon. We managed to get things sorted, and then we took out Koa for a little walk. We discussed some things for the next week, and then she headed to the next client. Koa and I relaxed for a while, and I fixed some food.
Koa and I went to bed for a little while. Not to sleep, but to relax my back, as it wasn’t too pleased with me. After a little while, we got back up. I fixed some food for my boy, and we went out for a last walk. After that, we did get ready to head to bed. It was a bit early, but my back didn’t stop complaining, and I just had to lay down and be able to relax my back.
I finally managed to finish a book that I had been reading for almost 2 months now. Somehow, it seemed like the pages in the book weren’t correct, as I felt I was never getting to the ending of it. It wasn’t a bad book at all! I struggled with concentration, and I had fallen asleep with my tablet a little more than that I had been reading. After a while, I finally felt relaxed enough, and I was able to doze off.
I woke up once for the loo, and Koa told me he needed to go out. But, he only wanted to drink, and not do anything outside. I waited for a bit, but I got so tired, that we went back to bed again. And… Koa let me sleep for several more hours! When he woke me up again, we got up, and we started our “day”. According to my watch, I had slept for about 7¼ hours in total, so not too bad at all.
Thanks to all for your kindness and support during my "journey through daily life" :bear_love: I really appreciate it :bear_hugs: as it helps me to keep going on bad/harder days! :bear_nuzzle:
:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾
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#Journal of a slightly relaxed Dutch AuDHD Pixy :pixy_party: (Monday, 20/07/2026).
Koa and I had gone to bed early, as we were just beat from the visit to the Herperduin. We had a few interruptions for potty breaks, both for Koa and for me, but in the end, my watch tells me that I managed to sleep for about 8 hours. We got up a bit earlier than usual though, as we’d gone to bed earlier too. This threw me off a little with my usual routine swing, but I managed to make it work.
We got up, and I got dressed. I took my meds, fed Koa, and we went to the couch where I grabbed my laptop. I started with an email to my sweet friend. When I was finished, I grabbed some brekkie. I started writing my journal toot, and then Koa wanted out for a little walk. When we got back, I got back to the laptop, and I finished the journal entry. I uploaded it to all the usual places. And I took some screengrabs from yesterday’s video, so that I could use some for my journal blog post.
While I was working on the pictures, I realized something that made me sob… The first time I ever took Arwen to the Herperduin, it was on July 19, 2024… And now, without realizing it, the first time ever I took Koa to the Herperduin… Was exactly two years later, on July 19, 2026. I don’t know why, but it made me cry so much. Heck, even mentioning it here now… Is making me tear up again.
When I finished the bits and bops, I put away the laptop, and I tried to relax for a while with some Criminal Minds. After some time, Koa woke up again, and we went out for another short walk. After that, I wanted to ride my bike for a while. But, Koa wasn’t too keen on that, and I had to stop after 17 minutes, as I didn’t want him to bark too much during the night.
I fixed Koa some food. I tried to relax for a bit again, as I was struggling to take Koa out for the longer walk. I don’t know why it felt so hard to take him out, it was just… Like it was the worst weather every, and I didn’t want to go out in it… But, the weather was wonderful for a little walk, and it was just me being silly for some reason. In the end, I managed to get off the couch, and Koa and I had a lovely walk together.
When we got back, I managed to clean up a bit of mess that had been annoying me for some time. I still have a lot to do, but I am hoping that I can manage to get it done, bit by bit. When I was done, I got the little vacuum cleaner, and I tried to do a quick “run” around the downstairs area. Koa was very helpful, and tried to bite in the shaft of the little vacuum. It was funny, but also a bit annoying, as it made it harder for me (and my back) to get the stuff done. In the end, there was quite a bit of sand and hair in the little bin, so even the “quick run around” had helped to make things a bit more clean.
Then it was time to head to the supermarket. I got a few things, and got back soon again. I walked with Koa, and then we waited for my coach to come over. When she arrived, we chatted a bit, and then we called the rental building coop, to arrange for some repairs to be done in the house soon. We managed to get things sorted, and then we took out Koa for a little walk. We discussed some things for the next week, and then she headed to the next client. Koa and I relaxed for a while, and I fixed some food.
Koa and I went to bed for a little while. Not to sleep, but to relax my back, as it wasn’t too pleased with me. After a little while, we got back up. I fixed some food for my boy, and we went out for a last walk. After that, we did get ready to head to bed. It was a bit early, but my back didn’t stop complaining, and I just had to lay down and be able to relax my back.
I finally managed to finish a book that I had been reading for almost 2 months now. Somehow, it seemed like the pages in the book weren’t correct, as I felt I was never getting to the ending of it. It wasn’t a bad book at all! I struggled with concentration, and I had fallen asleep with my tablet a little more than that I had been reading. After a while, I finally felt relaxed enough, and I was able to doze off.
I woke up once for the loo, and Koa told me he needed to go out. But, he only wanted to drink, and not do anything outside. I waited for a bit, but I got so tired, that we went back to bed again. And… Koa let me sleep for several more hours! When he woke me up again, we got up, and we started our “day”. According to my watch, I had slept for about 7¼ hours in total, so not too bad at all.
Thanks to all for your kindness and support during my "journey through daily life" :bear_love: I really appreciate it :bear_hugs: as it helps me to keep going on bad/harder days! :bear_nuzzle:
:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾
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It's hard! He's such an easy guy to love! He's the life of the party. But, damn, dude, you make the biggest mess of things sometimes. The biggest. #actuallyaudhd #actuallyautistic #actuallyadhd
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It's hard! He's such an easy guy to love! He's the life of the party. But, damn, dude, you make the biggest mess of things sometimes. The biggest. #actuallyaudhd #actuallyautistic #actuallyadhd
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TIL about my AuDHD: I'm not allowed to let my ADHD drive. It makes so much difference. I can feel it want to grab the wheel.
It has such a good timing driving too—careening all over the road, pumping its fist and cheering. Then it runs the car out of gas, wrecks the clutch (he drives stick), or just crashes the car.
Sorry, pal. You can ride shotgun. You can even choose the music. Keep your damn hands off the wheel, ok?
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TIL about my AuDHD: I'm not allowed to let my ADHD drive. It makes so much difference. I can feel it want to grab the wheel.
It has such a good timing driving too—careening all over the road, pumping its fist and cheering. Then it runs the car out of gas, wrecks the clutch (he drives stick), or just crashes the car.
Sorry, pal. You can ride shotgun. You can even choose the music. Keep your damn hands off the wheel, ok?
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#Journal of a slightly enthusiastic Dutch AuDHD Pixy :pixy_party: (Sunday, 19/07/2026).
Saturday had left me exhausted, and I think Koa knew this, because we had a long sleep. There were a few interruptions for potty breaks, but in the end, according to my watch, I had slept for 9¾ hours in total. Which is huge, at least to me, and it took me a bit to get up from bed in the end, as I was sore, and my meds had ended, so my back was extra sore. But, my head felt rather well, which was something I needed after yesterday’s meltdown.
I got up, dressed, took my meds, and fed my little dude. We went to the couch, where I got my laptop, and I started writing an email to my sweet friend. After I had finished that, I made myself some brekkie, while I started writing my journal toot. Koa wanted out for a short walk, so we did that, and then I got back to finishing the journal toot. I uploaded it to all the usual places, and then I got a bit stressed, as I saw that I barely have any posts scheduled on my blog left. I have a few I am working on, but I don’t want to rush them. I also don’t want to break my posting streak, as I am super proud of it! I’ve been sharing a post every day for 2.225 days now (which is roughly 6 years and one month). And I am not posting just anything to keep the streak going, I want to post real things, posts that matter to me. So, I hope that soon, my brain will be “in the zone” again, to get some more posts worked on, and scheduled for release.
When I was done with the journal toot, and I had worked a bit on another blog post, I put away the laptop, and tried to relax a bit with some telly. Koa and I relaxed for a while, and I shared some screengrabs from a video I took of Koa, playing with the water hose, yesterday. When I was done, Koa was eager for walkies. The weather was nice, and we walked the longer route. When we got back, I fixed food for both Koa and me. After that, I headed upstairs, and I rode the bike for half an hour. Koa was not in his crate, so I kept an ear out while I was riding. But, when I got back down, he was snoozing peacefully, and then told me he wanted out again.
After a short walk, I got my laptop. I checked how far the water at the Herperduin was from the parking, to see if it would be too far for Koa. I asked my mum, and we made plans to take the boys to the Herperduin later that morning. I relaxed for a while, took Koa for another short walk, and then we relaxed some more. Mum texted earlier than expected that she and Bas were on their way. So, I took an extra painkiller, and Koa and I got ready for walkies. When mum and Bas arrived, we got in Skoosh, and we were on our way.
Koa was very enthusiastic, and he kept pulling the leash, like he knew where to go. When we got to the waterside, Koa tried to rush me to it. I tried to capture it with my phone, while also trying to keep up with the little dude. While he didn’t jump into the water like a mad-man, he did enjoy a few little splashes. After some time, we got to a bench, and we relaxed for a little while, before we made the journey back to Skoosh.
We got back home, mum and the dogs had a bit to drink, and then mum took Bas home again. Koa and I had a meal, and we relaxed for a while. But, I was so tired, that after a bit, we just got ready to head to bed. After some time, Koa already dozed off, and before I knew it, I was struggling to keep reading, and I dozed off too…
I woke up for the loo, and then when Koa woke me up for his loo break. When I woke up again, it was still a bit earlier than usual, but my body was done with being in bed, and I had to go to the loo again, so in the end, I just got up and started my “day”. According to my watch, I got about 8 hours of sleep in, in total, so it wasn’t that bad at all…
Thanks to all for your kindness and support during my "journey through daily life" :bear_love: I really appreciate it :bear_hugs: as it helps me to keep going on bad/harder days! :bear_nuzzle:
:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾
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#Journal of a slightly enthusiastic Dutch AuDHD Pixy :pixy_party: (Sunday, 19/07/2026).
Saturday had left me exhausted, and I think Koa knew this, because we had a long sleep. There were a few interruptions for potty breaks, but in the end, according to my watch, I had slept for 9¾ hours in total. Which is huge, at least to me, and it took me a bit to get up from bed in the end, as I was sore, and my meds had ended, so my back was extra sore. But, my head felt rather well, which was something I needed after yesterday’s meltdown.
I got up, dressed, took my meds, and fed my little dude. We went to the couch, where I got my laptop, and I started writing an email to my sweet friend. After I had finished that, I made myself some brekkie, while I started writing my journal toot. Koa wanted out for a short walk, so we did that, and then I got back to finishing the journal toot. I uploaded it to all the usual places, and then I got a bit stressed, as I saw that I barely have any posts scheduled on my blog left. I have a few I am working on, but I don’t want to rush them. I also don’t want to break my posting streak, as I am super proud of it! I’ve been sharing a post every day for 2.225 days now (which is roughly 6 years and one month). And I am not posting just anything to keep the streak going, I want to post real things, posts that matter to me. So, I hope that soon, my brain will be “in the zone” again, to get some more posts worked on, and scheduled for release.
When I was done with the journal toot, and I had worked a bit on another blog post, I put away the laptop, and tried to relax a bit with some telly. Koa and I relaxed for a while, and I shared some screengrabs from a video I took of Koa, playing with the water hose, yesterday. When I was done, Koa was eager for walkies. The weather was nice, and we walked the longer route. When we got back, I fixed food for both Koa and me. After that, I headed upstairs, and I rode the bike for half an hour. Koa was not in his crate, so I kept an ear out while I was riding. But, when I got back down, he was snoozing peacefully, and then told me he wanted out again.
After a short walk, I got my laptop. I checked how far the water at the Herperduin was from the parking, to see if it would be too far for Koa. I asked my mum, and we made plans to take the boys to the Herperduin later that morning. I relaxed for a while, took Koa for another short walk, and then we relaxed some more. Mum texted earlier than expected that she and Bas were on their way. So, I took an extra painkiller, and Koa and I got ready for walkies. When mum and Bas arrived, we got in Skoosh, and we were on our way.
Koa was very enthusiastic, and he kept pulling the leash, like he knew where to go. When we got to the waterside, Koa tried to rush me to it. I tried to capture it with my phone, while also trying to keep up with the little dude. While he didn’t jump into the water like a mad-man, he did enjoy a few little splashes. After some time, we got to a bench, and we relaxed for a little while, before we made the journey back to Skoosh.
We got back home, mum and the dogs had a bit to drink, and then mum took Bas home again. Koa and I had a meal, and we relaxed for a while. But, I was so tired, that after a bit, we just got ready to head to bed. After some time, Koa already dozed off, and before I knew it, I was struggling to keep reading, and I dozed off too…
I woke up for the loo, and then when Koa woke me up for his loo break. When I woke up again, it was still a bit earlier than usual, but my body was done with being in bed, and I had to go to the loo again, so in the end, I just got up and started my “day”. According to my watch, I got about 8 hours of sleep in, in total, so it wasn’t that bad at all…
Thanks to all for your kindness and support during my "journey through daily life" :bear_love: I really appreciate it :bear_hugs: as it helps me to keep going on bad/harder days! :bear_nuzzle:
:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾
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CW: I had an autistic meltdown, of which I'm a tad ashamed... 😔 But nothing too bad happened... Still, it's a bit of a longer Toot, and it has the meltdown in it, so I added the CW. 😊
#Journal of an ashamed Dutch AuDHD Pixy :pixy_party: (Saturday, 18/07/2026).
We didn’t have the worst night, but I didn’t feel all rested and good when we got up. Still, Koa told me it was time, so we started our “day”. I got to the scale, which was less bad than I thought it would be, and I dressed. I took my meds, which were very much welcome, and then I fixed Koa’s meal. When Koa had a full belly, we got to the couch, where I grabbed my laptop, and I started an email to my sweet friend.
I finished the email to my friend, and I had some brekkie. I started on my journal toot, and then I took Koa out for a short walk. It was cooler again outside, which was very nice indeed. We got back to the couch, where I finished my journal post, and I shared it to all the usual places. I put the laptop away, and tried to relax for a while.
I felt a bit uneasy, like something was bothering me, and I didn’t know what. Koa started to behave a bit like an asshat, trying to steal all sorts of things, and it was bugging me a lot. When he finally settled down again, I went upstairs to ride the bike for a while. Which went well enough. I got back down, and took Koa for a longer walk.
I noticed I was a bit more annoyed with him when he was not following properly, or trying to put everything in his mouth, you know, puppy behavior. And I just could not understand why it triggered me so much this time. I just thought it was because my back was still troubling me, and I felt tired as well. We got back, and then I fixed some food for Koa.
After that, I needed to relax for a bit. But… Koa was doing all sorts of things, and it triggered me so much, that I snapped. I felt that I was getting too angry, and I managed to pick up Koa and put him in the crate. But there was some yelling, I did smash a door, and I cried so much… I was just so overwhelmed, and I needed to take myself out of the situation, but I couldn’t as there was no one to “take over from me”, so I needed to fix things first… I felt so much anger, so much fear, and I knew I had to find a way to calm down again. I am glad, in a way, that I recognize autistic meltdowns better now, and I kinda know how to deal with them. But… Once I am calmer, I feel such a pain and shame…
I know that Koa wasn’t harmed, but I know I must have scared him, and I hated myself so much for that. I even tear up again while I am writing this. When I was calm again, when I had been able to breathe in and out, and reflect on the meltdown, I took Koa from the crate. He jumped into my arms, and he started to lick away all the tears that were falling… I felt so bad, so guilty, so horrible… And here he was. Just shy of 5 months, comforting me, not blaming me for anything… So I cuddled him as best as I could, while his fur was slowly getting wet and all. I was so grateful as I felt like he was forgiving me, maybe even apologizing for doing the things that made me so overwhelmed to begin with.
I started to feel a bit better again, and I took Koa out for a little walk. We got back, we relaxed, and then we got ready to drive to Oss, where I had to pick up my parcel. We arrived there well enough, but it was such a mess, that I had no idea what to do. I took Koa, and we walked to one of the men loading a van, and I just asked. My heart was going crazy, guess I still had not calmed down all the way from this morning’s bad episode. But, the man pointed me in the right direction with a smile. A little while further, 5 men were having some fun together, and all together, they pointed me into the same direction, all smiling, but also aware of the little bouncy dog that was with me. I managed to get my parcel, and Koa and I headed home again.
I unpacked the package, and took out the inlays. I cut them to the right size for my new shoes, and I saw that my old inlays were as dead as my old shoes. I put in the new ones, and then I fixed some food. A parcel with some snacks for Koa was being delivered, just before my food was done. I enjoyed my meal, unpacked Koa’s snacks, and saw they sent me something I didn’t order. It was something I could use, so yeah, I will just keep it. But I will need to find a place to order the things I do need now… So that’s some extra costs again, while the funds are not that high…
Koa and I relaxed for a while, and we went out for one more walk. Then, we headed to bed. I wanted to relax for a while, but I noticed I was so tired, that I dozed off before I knew it. I didn’t even get to finish my book, a Grisham one, that seems to take me forever to finish. Somehow, I have been trying to finish it for almost 2 months now. I wonder if I am slower with reading, if it’s a bigger book (and the digital pages are misleading, as they sometimes can be), or if I am just less interested in reading the last few weeks… But yeah, I dozed off and slept for a while.
I woke up for the loo, and Koa and I went outside. But, Koa wasn’t interested in doing anything, so after some minutes, we went back to bed. Koa woke me up for a potty break, and then, we got back to bed. He made some noises, but I begged him for some more sleep. And, somehow, he allowed me just that. When I woke up again, I was startled when I saw the clock. I checked my watch, and according to it, I had slept about 9¾ hours in total! Koa was very excited to hear me getting up, and I felt sore from the long lie in, but I also felt a bit more relaxed from the longer sleep. So, Koa and I got up, and we started our “day”.
Thanks to all for your kindness and support during my "journey through daily life" :bear_love: I really appreciate it :bear_hugs: as it helps me to keep going on bad/harder days! :bear_nuzzle:
:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾
-
CW: I had an autistic meltdown, of which I'm a tad ashamed... 😔 But nothing too bad happened... Still, it's a bit of a longer Toot, and it has the meltdown in it, so I added the CW. 😊
#Journal of an ashamed Dutch AuDHD Pixy :pixy_party: (Saturday, 18/07/2026).
We didn’t have the worst night, but I didn’t feel all rested and good when we got up. Still, Koa told me it was time, so we started our “day”. I got to the scale, which was less bad than I thought it would be, and I dressed. I took my meds, which were very much welcome, and then I fixed Koa’s meal. When Koa had a full belly, we got to the couch, where I grabbed my laptop, and I started an email to my sweet friend.
I finished the email to my friend, and I had some brekkie. I started on my journal toot, and then I took Koa out for a short walk. It was cooler again outside, which was very nice indeed. We got back to the couch, where I finished my journal post, and I shared it to all the usual places. I put the laptop away, and tried to relax for a while.
I felt a bit uneasy, like something was bothering me, and I didn’t know what. Koa started to behave a bit like an asshat, trying to steal all sorts of things, and it was bugging me a lot. When he finally settled down again, I went upstairs to ride the bike for a while. Which went well enough. I got back down, and took Koa for a longer walk.
I noticed I was a bit more annoyed with him when he was not following properly, or trying to put everything in his mouth, you know, puppy behavior. And I just could not understand why it triggered me so much this time. I just thought it was because my back was still troubling me, and I felt tired as well. We got back, and then I fixed some food for Koa.
After that, I needed to relax for a bit. But… Koa was doing all sorts of things, and it triggered me so much, that I snapped. I felt that I was getting too angry, and I managed to pick up Koa and put him in the crate. But there was some yelling, I did smash a door, and I cried so much… I was just so overwhelmed, and I needed to take myself out of the situation, but I couldn’t as there was no one to “take over from me”, so I needed to fix things first… I felt so much anger, so much fear, and I knew I had to find a way to calm down again. I am glad, in a way, that I recognize autistic meltdowns better now, and I kinda know how to deal with them. But… Once I am calmer, I feel such a pain and shame…
I know that Koa wasn’t harmed, but I know I must have scared him, and I hated myself so much for that. I even tear up again while I am writing this. When I was calm again, when I had been able to breathe in and out, and reflect on the meltdown, I took Koa from the crate. He jumped into my arms, and he started to lick away all the tears that were falling… I felt so bad, so guilty, so horrible… And here he was. Just shy of 5 months, comforting me, not blaming me for anything… So I cuddled him as best as I could, while his fur was slowly getting wet and all. I was so grateful as I felt like he was forgiving me, maybe even apologizing for doing the things that made me so overwhelmed to begin with.
I started to feel a bit better again, and I took Koa out for a little walk. We got back, we relaxed, and then we got ready to drive to Oss, where I had to pick up my parcel. We arrived there well enough, but it was such a mess, that I had no idea what to do. I took Koa, and we walked to one of the men loading a van, and I just asked. My heart was going crazy, guess I still had not calmed down all the way from this morning’s bad episode. But, the man pointed me in the right direction with a smile. A little while further, 5 men were having some fun together, and all together, they pointed me into the same direction, all smiling, but also aware of the little bouncy dog that was with me. I managed to get my parcel, and Koa and I headed home again.
I unpacked the package, and took out the inlays. I cut them to the right size for my new shoes, and I saw that my old inlays were as dead as my old shoes. I put in the new ones, and then I fixed some food. A parcel with some snacks for Koa was being delivered, just before my food was done. I enjoyed my meal, unpacked Koa’s snacks, and saw they sent me something I didn’t order. It was something I could use, so yeah, I will just keep it. But I will need to find a place to order the things I do need now… So that’s some extra costs again, while the funds are not that high…
Koa and I relaxed for a while, and we went out for one more walk. Then, we headed to bed. I wanted to relax for a while, but I noticed I was so tired, that I dozed off before I knew it. I didn’t even get to finish my book, a Grisham one, that seems to take me forever to finish. Somehow, I have been trying to finish it for almost 2 months now. I wonder if I am slower with reading, if it’s a bigger book (and the digital pages are misleading, as they sometimes can be), or if I am just less interested in reading the last few weeks… But yeah, I dozed off and slept for a while.
I woke up for the loo, and Koa and I went outside. But, Koa wasn’t interested in doing anything, so after some minutes, we went back to bed. Koa woke me up for a potty break, and then, we got back to bed. He made some noises, but I begged him for some more sleep. And, somehow, he allowed me just that. When I woke up again, I was startled when I saw the clock. I checked my watch, and according to it, I had slept about 9¾ hours in total! Koa was very excited to hear me getting up, and I felt sore from the long lie in, but I also felt a bit more relaxed from the longer sleep. So, Koa and I got up, and we started our “day”.
Thanks to all for your kindness and support during my "journey through daily life" :bear_love: I really appreciate it :bear_hugs: as it helps me to keep going on bad/harder days! :bear_nuzzle:
:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾
-
CW: Nothing bad at all! 😁 Just a >7k long journal Toot... So this could save some folks from scrolling too long... 😇
#Journal of a slightly relaxed Dutch AuDHD Picy :pixy_party: (Friday, 17/07/2026).
Even though there were a few interruptions for loo breaks, and buzzing terrorists, Koa allowed me to get quite a bit of sleep. According to my watch, I slept for almost 8¾ hours in total, which is a lot! The downside of it was, that my body was sore from lying in bed longer, and my meds having “gone”, so when I had to get up, it was a bit of a struggle. But, I got up, and quickly let out Koa, and took my meds. I got dressed, fixed Koa’s meal, and then we got to the couch.
I wrote an email to my sweet friend, and then I had some brekkie. I started writing my journal toot, but I took Koa out for a short walk before I finished it. I uploaded it to all the “usual places”, and then I put the laptop away. I tried to relax a bit on the couch, until I started to feel a bit restless. Koa was sleeping on the couch, and I wanted to let him snooze. So, I went upstairs, and I rode the bike for 15 minutes. When I got back, Koa was still on the couch, albeit in a different position. So, it was safe to say that I was very proud of my not-so-little dude!
I took Koa out for a longer walk, as it was getting light out, and the temperature was lovely for it. Koa and I were both rested enough, and we had a lovely walk. When we got back, I fixed Koa some food, while I relaxed on the couch for a while.
Bestie called me on her way to the last day of work, as summer vacation was about to begin. We had a nice chat, as I was enjoying a meal. I was just starting making it when she called, and I was halfway through eating it when she hung up. After the meal, we went for another short walk, and then I tried to relax a little bit.
I had texted the neighbor again, if she’d be interested in a walk with Koa and me, so a little after 9, we set out for a lovely walk. The neighbor took over Koa again, and she really seemed to enjoy it. When we met another dog-walker, he thought Koa was her new pup, so she told him that Koa was/is mine, and this was just therapy for her, after losing her fluff 3 weeks ago.
So I know now that I will need to keep asking her if she wants to join us, as she won’t ask for it. I guess it’s probably too hard for her to ask, as she doesn’t want to “intrude”, but… She and her fluff were there for me when Arwen had passed away. And, knowing that Koa can help her feel better, I will keep asking her along, every time we have time for a nice round with her.
We got back, and I went to bed with my tablet for a while to relax my back. When mum let me know she was on her way, I made sure that I was up when she arrived, to help with the groceries. Mum was willing and able to spend some time with us, so I could head upstairs for a little bike ride. There were some parcels on their way, and I was afraid I would miss the bell (as in not being at the door fast enough) if I were upstairs. Mum had some time, so I tried to make her comfy. She settled in with a TV series, and I went upstairs.
I had hoped to ride for 30 minutes, but after 20, my back was not too pleased with me anymore. So, I went down again, which surprised mum. But, she understood, as she knows I am still recovering from the herniated disc. She spent some more time with us, so I could walk a short round with Koa. I was busy in the kitchen when the first parcel arrived. Mum got it for me, and… It was Koa’s new (travel) crate!!! They had “told” me that it would be delivered on Sunday, so when I saw a delivery scheduled for today, besides the new artificial grass, I wondered what it would be.
We unpacked the big box, and we set up the crate. And… It was/is HUGE! I knew I had chosen the biggest one, as Koa will be a big boy, and I want him to have some space to “chill” should we go somewhere, and he would need to be in the crate. I tried to set it up in my bedroom, and I will need to re-arrange some of my stuff this weekend, so the crate can fit better. It looks very sturdy, and I hope that Koa won’t try to eat it (as it’s with plastic and fabric). Mum got the cardboard box, so she could make Bas happy with it (he loves tearing apart boxes, preferably ones bigger than him). Mum went home, and Koa and I relaxed for a while.
Mum just left when they came to deliver the artificial grass. I got it all in the hallway, and then, I had to get it into the shed. They weren’t too heavy, but they were harder to maneuver (as they were 2m long each). I managed to find a small spot where I could put them in the shed. And, after some effort and cursing, they were stored there, ready to be used whenever bestie has got some time for me. But, my back really hated me for taking the grass into the shed, so that was a bit of a bummer… I walked a short round with Koa, and then I took my meds, so I could get to bed in time.
When I was getting ready for bed, I saw another delivery truck come up. They had said it “should fit in the mailbox”, but as I saw the dude come up, I saved him (and me) the effort of using the mailbox, and I took it from him, for which he seemed grateful (I don’t know how easily that box could have fitted in the mailbox… One day, I would love to get me a “parcel mailbox”, but decent ones are expensive… Still, it’s on my long list of things I would like to get to improve the home.
Koa and I got ready for bed. And, it took me quite some time to get comfy. The buzzing terrorists 🦟 were driving me nuts… I tried to cover my hands and part of my arms, face, and neck, with some Deet, which I hoped would help me some. But the sound, it was driving me nuts! I really would love to get a decent mosquito net for over my bed! But, as I had just spent about €120 on food and snacks for Koa, and I just bought him a new harness (the current one is getting “smaller” every day), and of course the new travel crate… I am done with my money, and my savings are lower than ever… But yeah, if someone has about €40 to “donate”, then I would really order a good net for over my bed. I keep hearing the buzzing, and sometimes I see the damned terrorists flying around my head… I am seriously thinking of begging with my parents for a net! I just paid back the money I borrowed for the new airfryer that I needed… Ugh… Money is nice, when you have plenty to spend…
After over an hour, I was able to finally doze off. It had taken some time to settle down Koa in his new crate. I had the bottom in it, but apparently, this was too warm for my boy. Maybe he will like it more when it gets colder in winter. But, when Koa settled, and the Deet scared the buzzing idiots away for a little while, I finally fell asleep. I woke up about 5 hours later for the loo, and to apply some more Deet. I took Koa outside, and he was like “why am I here?”. So, after a few minutes, we went back inside. He got back into the new crate, and when he’d finished the snack, he barked once. As he had just been out for over 5 minutes, I told him that it was time for some more sleeping. And then, when I woke up again, it was almost 3 hours later.
I took Koa from the crate, and now he did want to go outside. I got to the scale, which was not too good, but a lot “less bad” than I had feared it would be. I got dressed, took my meds, prepped Koa’s meal, and we started our “day”.
Thanks to all for your kindness and support during my "journey through daily life" :bear_love: I really appreciate it :bear_hugs: as it helps me to keep going on bad/harder days! :bear_nuzzle:
:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾
-
CW: Nothing bad at all! 😁 Just a >7k long journal Toot... So this could save some folks from scrolling too long... 😇
#Journal of a slightly relaxed Dutch AuDHD Picy :pixy_party: (Friday, 17/07/2026).
Even though there were a few interruptions for loo breaks, and buzzing terrorists, Koa allowed me to get quite a bit of sleep. According to my watch, I slept for almost 8¾ hours in total, which is a lot! The downside of it was, that my body was sore from lying in bed longer, and my meds having “gone”, so when I had to get up, it was a bit of a struggle. But, I got up, and quickly let out Koa, and took my meds. I got dressed, fixed Koa’s meal, and then we got to the couch.
I wrote an email to my sweet friend, and then I had some brekkie. I started writing my journal toot, but I took Koa out for a short walk before I finished it. I uploaded it to all the “usual places”, and then I put the laptop away. I tried to relax a bit on the couch, until I started to feel a bit restless. Koa was sleeping on the couch, and I wanted to let him snooze. So, I went upstairs, and I rode the bike for 15 minutes. When I got back, Koa was still on the couch, albeit in a different position. So, it was safe to say that I was very proud of my not-so-little dude!
I took Koa out for a longer walk, as it was getting light out, and the temperature was lovely for it. Koa and I were both rested enough, and we had a lovely walk. When we got back, I fixed Koa some food, while I relaxed on the couch for a while.
Bestie called me on her way to the last day of work, as summer vacation was about to begin. We had a nice chat, as I was enjoying a meal. I was just starting making it when she called, and I was halfway through eating it when she hung up. After the meal, we went for another short walk, and then I tried to relax a little bit.
I had texted the neighbor again, if she’d be interested in a walk with Koa and me, so a little after 9, we set out for a lovely walk. The neighbor took over Koa again, and she really seemed to enjoy it. When we met another dog-walker, he thought Koa was her new pup, so she told him that Koa was/is mine, and this was just therapy for her, after losing her fluff 3 weeks ago.
So I know now that I will need to keep asking her if she wants to join us, as she won’t ask for it. I guess it’s probably too hard for her to ask, as she doesn’t want to “intrude”, but… She and her fluff were there for me when Arwen had passed away. And, knowing that Koa can help her feel better, I will keep asking her along, every time we have time for a nice round with her.
We got back, and I went to bed with my tablet for a while to relax my back. When mum let me know she was on her way, I made sure that I was up when she arrived, to help with the groceries. Mum was willing and able to spend some time with us, so I could head upstairs for a little bike ride. There were some parcels on their way, and I was afraid I would miss the bell (as in not being at the door fast enough) if I were upstairs. Mum had some time, so I tried to make her comfy. She settled in with a TV series, and I went upstairs.
I had hoped to ride for 30 minutes, but after 20, my back was not too pleased with me anymore. So, I went down again, which surprised mum. But, she understood, as she knows I am still recovering from the herniated disc. She spent some more time with us, so I could walk a short round with Koa. I was busy in the kitchen when the first parcel arrived. Mum got it for me, and… It was Koa’s new (travel) crate!!! They had “told” me that it would be delivered on Sunday, so when I saw a delivery scheduled for today, besides the new artificial grass, I wondered what it would be.
We unpacked the big box, and we set up the crate. And… It was/is HUGE! I knew I had chosen the biggest one, as Koa will be a big boy, and I want him to have some space to “chill” should we go somewhere, and he would need to be in the crate. I tried to set it up in my bedroom, and I will need to re-arrange some of my stuff this weekend, so the crate can fit better. It looks very sturdy, and I hope that Koa won’t try to eat it (as it’s with plastic and fabric). Mum got the cardboard box, so she could make Bas happy with it (he loves tearing apart boxes, preferably ones bigger than him). Mum went home, and Koa and I relaxed for a while.
Mum just left when they came to deliver the artificial grass. I got it all in the hallway, and then, I had to get it into the shed. They weren’t too heavy, but they were harder to maneuver (as they were 2m long each). I managed to find a small spot where I could put them in the shed. And, after some effort and cursing, they were stored there, ready to be used whenever bestie has got some time for me. But, my back really hated me for taking the grass into the shed, so that was a bit of a bummer… I walked a short round with Koa, and then I took my meds, so I could get to bed in time.
When I was getting ready for bed, I saw another delivery truck come up. They had said it “should fit in the mailbox”, but as I saw the dude come up, I saved him (and me) the effort of using the mailbox, and I took it from him, for which he seemed grateful (I don’t know how easily that box could have fitted in the mailbox… One day, I would love to get me a “parcel mailbox”, but decent ones are expensive… Still, it’s on my long list of things I would like to get to improve the home.
Koa and I got ready for bed. And, it took me quite some time to get comfy. The buzzing terrorists 🦟 were driving me nuts… I tried to cover my hands and part of my arms, face, and neck, with some Deet, which I hoped would help me some. But the sound, it was driving me nuts! I really would love to get a decent mosquito net for over my bed! But, as I had just spent about €120 on food and snacks for Koa, and I just bought him a new harness (the current one is getting “smaller” every day), and of course the new travel crate… I am done with my money, and my savings are lower than ever… But yeah, if someone has about €40 to “donate”, then I would really order a good net for over my bed. I keep hearing the buzzing, and sometimes I see the damned terrorists flying around my head… I am seriously thinking of begging with my parents for a net! I just paid back the money I borrowed for the new airfryer that I needed… Ugh… Money is nice, when you have plenty to spend…
After over an hour, I was able to finally doze off. It had taken some time to settle down Koa in his new crate. I had the bottom in it, but apparently, this was too warm for my boy. Maybe he will like it more when it gets colder in winter. But, when Koa settled, and the Deet scared the buzzing idiots away for a little while, I finally fell asleep. I woke up about 5 hours later for the loo, and to apply some more Deet. I took Koa outside, and he was like “why am I here?”. So, after a few minutes, we went back inside. He got back into the new crate, and when he’d finished the snack, he barked once. As he had just been out for over 5 minutes, I told him that it was time for some more sleeping. And then, when I woke up again, it was almost 3 hours later.
I took Koa from the crate, and now he did want to go outside. I got to the scale, which was not too good, but a lot “less bad” than I had feared it would be. I got dressed, took my meds, prepped Koa’s meal, and we started our “day”.
Thanks to all for your kindness and support during my "journey through daily life" :bear_love: I really appreciate it :bear_hugs: as it helps me to keep going on bad/harder days! :bear_nuzzle:
:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾
-
#Journal of a bläh feeling Dutch AuDHD Pixy :pixy_party: (Thursday, 16/07/2026).
I didn’t have the worst night, just the usual potty breaks and buzzing terrorist 🦟 activities. But still, with a few interruptions, I got about 7:40 hours of sleep in total. I didn’t feel too tired, so that was a good thing. I did feel sore, so I got up, took my meds, dressed, fed Koa, and then I got to the couch with my laptop.
I wrote an email to my sweet friend, and then I got some brekkie. Koa and I went out for short walkies. When we returned, I got back to my laptop, and I wrote my journal toot. It got uploaded to all the usual places, and I tried to relax a bit on the couch. Koa was a bit restless, and I found out that one of his molars is wobbly, so that must be giving him some discomforts when he uses his mouth.
We relaxed for a while, and when it got light out, we went out for another walk. Koa didn’t want a longer one, which was fine by me as I was not feeling too well. The pain wasn't too bad, but I just felt exhausted and sad. Not all depressed, but close to it. Aware of it, but not really able to “see” anything that could “snap me out of it”. It sucks when one feels like this, because it feels so helpless and lonely…
After walkies, I went upstairs, and I rode the bike for a bit. It felt good, but somehow, I didn’t get the usual “feels” from it. Like, it was good to do so, but the endorphins, they were lost on me… I did it because it was good for me, and I usually enjoyed it, but it just didn’t feel like it usually would.
Bestie called me on her way to work, and we had a nice little chat while she was on her way. We hung up when she arrived, and I walked a bit with young master Koa. Then, some relaxing, but it just didn’t feel good…
After a while, I texted the neighbor, and asked her if she would want to join me and Koa for a walk, saying I didn’t feel all too well, and I could use some company and distraction. She texted back that she’d be ready around nine. A little before that, Koa hinted he needed to go out. So, we went to the grassy field, with his little Chuck-it! Ball, which he carried for a while, looking so proud.
Lately, he’s been picking up twigs and all to carry around with him. As I don’t want him to have wooden things in his mouth, due to splinters, I am trying to offer the Chuck-it ball instead. And, it seems to work, for short periods of time at least.
When Koa was ready, I texted the neighbor, and we set out for a walk. She took the leash, and enjoyed it a lot. Koa was just happy to get extra attention, and he was all excited about walking with the neighbor… We had a nice walk, with a good chat, and I was very grateful for it. When we got back, I was tired, and Koa and I relaxed for a while in the bedroom. I re-watched some more Criminal Minds, and checked the parcel delivery service.
They said they’d come to deliver the grass today, so I kept checking the info, but in the end, they never left the site. So that was a bummer… I had troubles with my emotions, and I could not stop eating. I didn’t know why, but I just felt so sad, so disconnected, so tired… I tried to keep going, but it was hard…
I walked Koa again, and then relaxed some more, as best as I could. After a while, I felt so bad about the snacking I’d been doing, that I went to the home-trainer again. I rode it a bit longer than I had hoped to do, but it felt good, in a way, so I guess it was something I needed at the time. After that, I got ready to get to bed.
It didn’t take too long to get comfortable. Koa was sleeping already, and I did the same. I woke up for the loo, and Koa kept snoozing. He woke me for his potty break a few hours later. I woke up again when a buzzing terrorist was at it again. When Koa woke me up again, I didn’t believe the clock, and checked it twice. Koa had allowed me quite a long sleep, and in the end, according to my watch, I had slept for about 8¾ hours in total! I was a bit sore and drowsy, but not too bad. So, Koa and I got up, and we started our “day”.
Thanks to all for your kindness and support during my "journey through daily life" :bear_love: I really appreciate it :bear_hugs: as it helps me to keep going on bad/harder days! :bear_nuzzle:
:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾
-
#Journal of a bläh feeling Dutch AuDHD Pixy :pixy_party: (Thursday, 16/07/2026).
I didn’t have the worst night, just the usual potty breaks and buzzing terrorist 🦟 activities. But still, with a few interruptions, I got about 7:40 hours of sleep in total. I didn’t feel too tired, so that was a good thing. I did feel sore, so I got up, took my meds, dressed, fed Koa, and then I got to the couch with my laptop.
I wrote an email to my sweet friend, and then I got some brekkie. Koa and I went out for short walkies. When we returned, I got back to my laptop, and I wrote my journal toot. It got uploaded to all the usual places, and I tried to relax a bit on the couch. Koa was a bit restless, and I found out that one of his molars is wobbly, so that must be giving him some discomforts when he uses his mouth.
We relaxed for a while, and when it got light out, we went out for another walk. Koa didn’t want a longer one, which was fine by me as I was not feeling too well. The pain wasn't too bad, but I just felt exhausted and sad. Not all depressed, but close to it. Aware of it, but not really able to “see” anything that could “snap me out of it”. It sucks when one feels like this, because it feels so helpless and lonely…
After walkies, I went upstairs, and I rode the bike for a bit. It felt good, but somehow, I didn’t get the usual “feels” from it. Like, it was good to do so, but the endorphins, they were lost on me… I did it because it was good for me, and I usually enjoyed it, but it just didn’t feel like it usually would.
Bestie called me on her way to work, and we had a nice little chat while she was on her way. We hung up when she arrived, and I walked a bit with young master Koa. Then, some relaxing, but it just didn’t feel good…
After a while, I texted the neighbor, and asked her if she would want to join me and Koa for a walk, saying I didn’t feel all too well, and I could use some company and distraction. She texted back that she’d be ready around nine. A little before that, Koa hinted he needed to go out. So, we went to the grassy field, with his little Chuck-it! Ball, which he carried for a while, looking so proud.
Lately, he’s been picking up twigs and all to carry around with him. As I don’t want him to have wooden things in his mouth, due to splinters, I am trying to offer the Chuck-it ball instead. And, it seems to work, for short periods of time at least.
When Koa was ready, I texted the neighbor, and we set out for a walk. She took the leash, and enjoyed it a lot. Koa was just happy to get extra attention, and he was all excited about walking with the neighbor… We had a nice walk, with a good chat, and I was very grateful for it. When we got back, I was tired, and Koa and I relaxed for a while in the bedroom. I re-watched some more Criminal Minds, and checked the parcel delivery service.
They said they’d come to deliver the grass today, so I kept checking the info, but in the end, they never left the site. So that was a bummer… I had troubles with my emotions, and I could not stop eating. I didn’t know why, but I just felt so sad, so disconnected, so tired… I tried to keep going, but it was hard…
I walked Koa again, and then relaxed some more, as best as I could. After a while, I felt so bad about the snacking I’d been doing, that I went to the home-trainer again. I rode it a bit longer than I had hoped to do, but it felt good, in a way, so I guess it was something I needed at the time. After that, I got ready to get to bed.
It didn’t take too long to get comfortable. Koa was sleeping already, and I did the same. I woke up for the loo, and Koa kept snoozing. He woke me for his potty break a few hours later. I woke up again when a buzzing terrorist was at it again. When Koa woke me up again, I didn’t believe the clock, and checked it twice. Koa had allowed me quite a long sleep, and in the end, according to my watch, I had slept for about 8¾ hours in total! I was a bit sore and drowsy, but not too bad. So, Koa and I got up, and we started our “day”.
Thanks to all for your kindness and support during my "journey through daily life" :bear_love: I really appreciate it :bear_hugs: as it helps me to keep going on bad/harder days! :bear_nuzzle:
:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾
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#Journal of a sad Dutch AuDHD Pixy :pixy_party: (Wednesday, 15/07/2026).
I had an OK enough night. Some potty breaks, some buzzing terrorist annoying me, but in the end, I did manage to get some sleep. When Koa woke me up, it was time to take my meds, as y back was not too pleased with me. I got up, quickly took them, prepared Koa’s meal, and I got dressed. I got to the couch with my laptop, and started the email to my sweet friend. When I was done, I fixed some brekkie, and Koa and I went out for a little walk.
After we got back, I got back to my laptop, and I wrote my journal toot. For some reason, I found myself getting distracted at times, like it was too hard to focus. While I have been writing journal posts for so long, and they always seemed to be fun to write. But this time, writing down yesterday’s date, made today’s date more “visible”, and it made me sad… As today used to be Arwen’s birthday. This was her second heavenly birthday, and I struggled with it… I still miss that gall so much…
I finished the journal toot, uploaded it to all the usual places, and I put away the laptop. I cried for a little while, and Koa even came to cuddle me a bit. Unfortunately, the cuddles turned into little bites soon enough. I think Koa is “getting ready” to start exchanging his molars, as he was very whiney, and also rather bitey. I tried to give him all the attention, and I remembered there was a frozen yogurt lickimat in the freezer, so I offered him that one.
I watched some telly, tried to distract myself, shared some pictures online. And I went out with Koa for a nice walk when it was getting light outside. We walked the bigger round this time, which was rather nice. When we got back, we relaxed some more, and I made us something to eat.
Bestie called me on her way to work, and I was just out with Koa, as he wanted another walk. During that walk, Koa grabbed something. Without thinking, I got my hand in his mouth, to get it out, and I almost barfed! He had grabbed some sort of very nasty animal shit, and my hand was all full of it, and it smelled so awful, that I was gagging all the way back home. I washed my hands as best as I could, again and again, until the nasty goo and smell was gone. Koa was sitting next to me, with a smug look that was almost hilarious, if I wasn’t still fighting with my gag-reflex due to the smell and all that.
Well, that was quite a bit of an experience, and bestie got to live through it with me haha. I was able to relax for a while, and I had to get myself prepared to head to the supermarket in a bit. I was not really eager to go to the store. I felt so exhausted, sad, and not up to it. But, I needed groceries, so I would have to go…
When time was right, I got to Skoosh and headed to the store. I got the things I needed, although I did forget a few… But I wasn’t going to go back, I was too exhausted for that. As I had missed a call from the GP on Tuesday, I called them this morning, and a GP would call me this afternoon, to talk about my meds.
I got a notification that the refund of the energy bill had been deposited in my account. So, I went to an online store, and I ordered the artificial grass that I need for my garden. One moment, you have some money. The next moment, they’re going to send you several square meters of fake grass. Haha, the way things go sometimes… Now, I just have to hope that my bestie can find a date to come over and help me, once the grass has been delivered.
I walked with Koa, and then we got to bed for a little while. I watched some more Criminal Minds while trying to relax, and Koa snoozed for a while. After some time, Koa and I got up again. We didn’t have any plans today, so we switched between short walkies, and relaxing. It was too warm to go for longer walks. And we both just took it easy.
I was lying on bed with my tablet when the GP called. We had a good talk, I fixed Koa’s food, we went out for a bit, and then we got back to bed. I tried to stay up for a while, as the pharmacy could come to drop off new meds. But, after a while, I did doze off. Of course, within a short time, the doorbell rang, and my meds had arrived. I got back to bed again, and when I was comfortable enough, I managed to doze off again.
I woke up a few times, due to my bladder, and due to Koa. But, when it was time to get up, my watch told me I slept a little over 7½ hours in total. I still felt rather tired though, but hey ho, time to get up and start our “day”.
Thanks to all for your kindness and support during my "journey through daily life" :bear_love: I really appreciate it :bear_hugs: as it helps me to keep going on bad/harder days! :bear_nuzzle:
:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾
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#Journal of a sad Dutch AuDHD Pixy :pixy_party: (Wednesday, 15/07/2026).
I had an OK enough night. Some potty breaks, some buzzing terrorist annoying me, but in the end, I did manage to get some sleep. When Koa woke me up, it was time to take my meds, as y back was not too pleased with me. I got up, quickly took them, prepared Koa’s meal, and I got dressed. I got to the couch with my laptop, and started the email to my sweet friend. When I was done, I fixed some brekkie, and Koa and I went out for a little walk.
After we got back, I got back to my laptop, and I wrote my journal toot. For some reason, I found myself getting distracted at times, like it was too hard to focus. While I have been writing journal posts for so long, and they always seemed to be fun to write. But this time, writing down yesterday’s date, made today’s date more “visible”, and it made me sad… As today used to be Arwen’s birthday. This was her second heavenly birthday, and I struggled with it… I still miss that gall so much…
I finished the journal toot, uploaded it to all the usual places, and I put away the laptop. I cried for a little while, and Koa even came to cuddle me a bit. Unfortunately, the cuddles turned into little bites soon enough. I think Koa is “getting ready” to start exchanging his molars, as he was very whiney, and also rather bitey. I tried to give him all the attention, and I remembered there was a frozen yogurt lickimat in the freezer, so I offered him that one.
I watched some telly, tried to distract myself, shared some pictures online. And I went out with Koa for a nice walk when it was getting light outside. We walked the bigger round this time, which was rather nice. When we got back, we relaxed some more, and I made us something to eat.
Bestie called me on her way to work, and I was just out with Koa, as he wanted another walk. During that walk, Koa grabbed something. Without thinking, I got my hand in his mouth, to get it out, and I almost barfed! He had grabbed some sort of very nasty animal shit, and my hand was all full of it, and it smelled so awful, that I was gagging all the way back home. I washed my hands as best as I could, again and again, until the nasty goo and smell was gone. Koa was sitting next to me, with a smug look that was almost hilarious, if I wasn’t still fighting with my gag-reflex due to the smell and all that.
Well, that was quite a bit of an experience, and bestie got to live through it with me haha. I was able to relax for a while, and I had to get myself prepared to head to the supermarket in a bit. I was not really eager to go to the store. I felt so exhausted, sad, and not up to it. But, I needed groceries, so I would have to go…
When time was right, I got to Skoosh and headed to the store. I got the things I needed, although I did forget a few… But I wasn’t going to go back, I was too exhausted for that. As I had missed a call from the GP on Tuesday, I called them this morning, and a GP would call me this afternoon, to talk about my meds.
I got a notification that the refund of the energy bill had been deposited in my account. So, I went to an online store, and I ordered the artificial grass that I need for my garden. One moment, you have some money. The next moment, they’re going to send you several square meters of fake grass. Haha, the way things go sometimes… Now, I just have to hope that my bestie can find a date to come over and help me, once the grass has been delivered.
I walked with Koa, and then we got to bed for a little while. I watched some more Criminal Minds while trying to relax, and Koa snoozed for a while. After some time, Koa and I got up again. We didn’t have any plans today, so we switched between short walkies, and relaxing. It was too warm to go for longer walks. And we both just took it easy.
I was lying on bed with my tablet when the GP called. We had a good talk, I fixed Koa’s food, we went out for a bit, and then we got back to bed. I tried to stay up for a while, as the pharmacy could come to drop off new meds. But, after a while, I did doze off. Of course, within a short time, the doorbell rang, and my meds had arrived. I got back to bed again, and when I was comfortable enough, I managed to doze off again.
I woke up a few times, due to my bladder, and due to Koa. But, when it was time to get up, my watch told me I slept a little over 7½ hours in total. I still felt rather tired though, but hey ho, time to get up and start our “day”.
Thanks to all for your kindness and support during my "journey through daily life" :bear_love: I really appreciate it :bear_hugs: as it helps me to keep going on bad/harder days! :bear_nuzzle:
:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾
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CW: Nothing bad! 😁 Just a longer journal Toot, so this should save some folks from scrolling endlessly 😇
#Journal of a slightly ouchie Dutch AuDHD Pixy :pixy_party: (Tuesday, 14/07/2026).
I had a short night, due to the last puppy class, and me wanting to keep my routine in as much as I could (and needing pain meds when I woke up). So, after about 4 hours of sleep, I got up, and started my “day”. I took my meds, and then I got dressed. I fixed Koa’s meal, and then we got to the couch. I wrote an email to a very sweet friend, and after that, I made myself a bit of brekkie.
After brekkie, I took out Koa for a short walk. Then, back to the laptop, to write my journal toot. When I was done, and it was uploaded to all the usual places, I tried to relax for a while, as I was rather tired after such a short sleep. Koa was tired too, so we both snoozed for a while, before Koa woke up, and needed to go out for a wee again.
Another short walk, followed by some more couch time. We took it easy and relaxed. Bestie called me on her way to work, and we had a nice chat. After that, Koa and I had another little walk. Koa wasn’t too interested in the longer walks, and I let him decide how long we’d go (unless he’d want too much, then I would have limited him, as he’s only 20 weeks young).
When we got back again, I got to my bed with the tablet for a while. I relaxed my back and leg, while watching some Criminal Minds. Koa was sleeping as well, and we had a good hour of just chilling and not having to do anything. After that, I got up again, and I got things ready for when mum would come.
She texted me when she left the house, and Koa and I went out for a shot walk, so we could wait for her, and so that Koa would have done his business. That way, mum could just let him in the garden if he needed to go again, as it was getting too warm for walkies, and this was easier on mum as well.
Mum came, and I gave her a little present I had ordered for her. She had an automatic pencil that had not been working well for her for a while now. While I was browsing for the Roxette vinyl, I also checked out the pencils, and I found out a possible what/why, with the malfunctioning pencil. So, to thank her for all the puppy sitting, I ordered her a new pencil, with extra leads and erasers. Hopefully, this one won’t give her any issues, and she’ll be able to do loads of puzzles without grumbling and all that… It wasn’t too expensive, but I wanted to do something for her help with Koa.
Mum settled on the couch with a hot coffee, and a nice series on the telly. I got my bag, and headed to Skoosh. We got to Cuijk safe and sound, and I parked illegally near the cash machine, so I could quickly deposit my “foreign money” Euros, from yesterday’s exchange. The official parking was full, and my back was not excited to walk too far for another parking spot. So, I hoped that I would be quick enough, and if someone would come to check out Skoosh, that I could explain my bad back. There was an open handicapped parking spot (which was even closer to the machine), so I should have just borrowed mum’s card. But I didn’t want to park there, as it was a spot for people who have even more struggles with walking than I currently have. After I deposited the money, I drove to physio, where I had to wait for my appointment.
I tried to order the cheaper travel crate for Koa that I liked. First, they had an extraordinary shipping costs added to it, which made it more expensive. But then, at the end, they informed me that, even for that amount, they would not ship it to the Netherlands. While, in the app, I have the settings set to “only show things that ship to my location”. So yeah, I ended up ordering the slightly bigger, and more expensive, crate (which seemed cheaper now, as the other one had €21,99 shipping, should it have been shipped to my home, and this one had way faster shipping, for only €6,99). So, the travel crate has been ordered, and it’s currently set to be delivered this Sunday! Which isn’t unheard of, but usually, for about 7 Euros, they don’t deliver on Sundays. But, wait and see… At least soon, Koa has a nice (and easier to handle) travel crate, and I can hand back the one we borrowed from his breeder. I will have to see if I can find a little “thank you” prezzie for her, as the crate was a big help for me and Koa, so I could sleep in my bed properly, while still having him near.
Big Bas did a big number on my back! He is going on holiday for 3 weeks, so I will have to make due without him for the time being. The massage was painful, but he was very positive about what he felt, compared to last week, and the weeks prior to that. So, there is some improvement, yay!
I had wanted to visit the supermarket on the way back. But, my back was sore, I was tired, and it was 29°C according to Skoosh… So, I would get to the supermarket on Wednesday morning, Koa will have to learn to be on his own some more, so it’s good for both him and me. Mum was surprised to see me home a little earlier, but she understood, and was OK with going home a bit earlier. She had a dentist appointment later that afternoon, so it meant she could relax a bit before that. While she was getting her things, I fed Koa, as it was past his mealtime. Then, I thanked mum, Koa and I waved her off, and Koa did his things in the garden. I cleaned up the bits and bops, both outside and inside, and then I got ready to head to bed.
It didn’t take too long for Koa and me to doze off. When I woke up due to Koa whining a little, I saw I had a missed call from the GP. I didn’t know they would call today, so yeah, I will have to try and catch them myself Wednesday morning. I let Koa out, he only drank some, and sniffed around the garden, and we went back to bed. I woke up once more for the loo, and due to a buzzing terrorist 🦟, and then when Koa woke me up again, telling me it was time to “get up and start our day”. So, I listened to the master, and we did just that…
Thanks to all for your kindness and support during my "journey through daily life" :bear_love: I really appreciate it :bear_hugs: as it helps me to keep going on bad/harder days! :bear_nuzzle:
:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾
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CW: Nothing bad! 😁 Just a longer journal Toot, so this should save some folks from scrolling endlessly 😇
#Journal of a slightly ouchie Dutch AuDHD Pixy :pixy_party: (Tuesday, 14/07/2026).
I had a short night, due to the last puppy class, and me wanting to keep my routine in as much as I could (and needing pain meds when I woke up). So, after about 4 hours of sleep, I got up, and started my “day”. I took my meds, and then I got dressed. I fixed Koa’s meal, and then we got to the couch. I wrote an email to a very sweet friend, and after that, I made myself a bit of brekkie.
After brekkie, I took out Koa for a short walk. Then, back to the laptop, to write my journal toot. When I was done, and it was uploaded to all the usual places, I tried to relax for a while, as I was rather tired after such a short sleep. Koa was tired too, so we both snoozed for a while, before Koa woke up, and needed to go out for a wee again.
Another short walk, followed by some more couch time. We took it easy and relaxed. Bestie called me on her way to work, and we had a nice chat. After that, Koa and I had another little walk. Koa wasn’t too interested in the longer walks, and I let him decide how long we’d go (unless he’d want too much, then I would have limited him, as he’s only 20 weeks young).
When we got back again, I got to my bed with the tablet for a while. I relaxed my back and leg, while watching some Criminal Minds. Koa was sleeping as well, and we had a good hour of just chilling and not having to do anything. After that, I got up again, and I got things ready for when mum would come.
She texted me when she left the house, and Koa and I went out for a shot walk, so we could wait for her, and so that Koa would have done his business. That way, mum could just let him in the garden if he needed to go again, as it was getting too warm for walkies, and this was easier on mum as well.
Mum came, and I gave her a little present I had ordered for her. She had an automatic pencil that had not been working well for her for a while now. While I was browsing for the Roxette vinyl, I also checked out the pencils, and I found out a possible what/why, with the malfunctioning pencil. So, to thank her for all the puppy sitting, I ordered her a new pencil, with extra leads and erasers. Hopefully, this one won’t give her any issues, and she’ll be able to do loads of puzzles without grumbling and all that… It wasn’t too expensive, but I wanted to do something for her help with Koa.
Mum settled on the couch with a hot coffee, and a nice series on the telly. I got my bag, and headed to Skoosh. We got to Cuijk safe and sound, and I parked illegally near the cash machine, so I could quickly deposit my “foreign money” Euros, from yesterday’s exchange. The official parking was full, and my back was not excited to walk too far for another parking spot. So, I hoped that I would be quick enough, and if someone would come to check out Skoosh, that I could explain my bad back. There was an open handicapped parking spot (which was even closer to the machine), so I should have just borrowed mum’s card. But I didn’t want to park there, as it was a spot for people who have even more struggles with walking than I currently have. After I deposited the money, I drove to physio, where I had to wait for my appointment.
I tried to order the cheaper travel crate for Koa that I liked. First, they had an extraordinary shipping costs added to it, which made it more expensive. But then, at the end, they informed me that, even for that amount, they would not ship it to the Netherlands. While, in the app, I have the settings set to “only show things that ship to my location”. So yeah, I ended up ordering the slightly bigger, and more expensive, crate (which seemed cheaper now, as the other one had €21,99 shipping, should it have been shipped to my home, and this one had way faster shipping, for only €6,99). So, the travel crate has been ordered, and it’s currently set to be delivered this Sunday! Which isn’t unheard of, but usually, for about 7 Euros, they don’t deliver on Sundays. But, wait and see… At least soon, Koa has a nice (and easier to handle) travel crate, and I can hand back the one we borrowed from his breeder. I will have to see if I can find a little “thank you” prezzie for her, as the crate was a big help for me and Koa, so I could sleep in my bed properly, while still having him near.
Big Bas did a big number on my back! He is going on holiday for 3 weeks, so I will have to make due without him for the time being. The massage was painful, but he was very positive about what he felt, compared to last week, and the weeks prior to that. So, there is some improvement, yay!
I had wanted to visit the supermarket on the way back. But, my back was sore, I was tired, and it was 29°C according to Skoosh… So, I would get to the supermarket on Wednesday morning, Koa will have to learn to be on his own some more, so it’s good for both him and me. Mum was surprised to see me home a little earlier, but she understood, and was OK with going home a bit earlier. She had a dentist appointment later that afternoon, so it meant she could relax a bit before that. While she was getting her things, I fed Koa, as it was past his mealtime. Then, I thanked mum, Koa and I waved her off, and Koa did his things in the garden. I cleaned up the bits and bops, both outside and inside, and then I got ready to head to bed.
It didn’t take too long for Koa and me to doze off. When I woke up due to Koa whining a little, I saw I had a missed call from the GP. I didn’t know they would call today, so yeah, I will have to try and catch them myself Wednesday morning. I let Koa out, he only drank some, and sniffed around the garden, and we went back to bed. I woke up once more for the loo, and due to a buzzing terrorist 🦟, and then when Koa woke me up again, telling me it was time to “get up and start our day”. So, I listened to the master, and we did just that…
Thanks to all for your kindness and support during my "journey through daily life" :bear_love: I really appreciate it :bear_hugs: as it helps me to keep going on bad/harder days! :bear_nuzzle:
:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾
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Is it weird that I'm obsessed with automating my home while playing at Mark Watney in Stationeers? And yet I quickly get annoyed with Home Assistant and don't automate much around my house these days?
Strange hypocrisy.
Would anyone be interested in a Stationeers server, I wonder? I adore the game, particularly since adding Lua support to mine. I've been writing more code lately than I have in a while to automate an imaginary Martian station to keep myself alive in the game.
Damn game is an #actuallyaudhd / #actuallyautistic person's dream....
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Is it weird that I'm obsessed with automating my home while playing at Mark Watney in Stationeers? And yet I quickly get annoyed with Home Assistant and don't automate much around my house these days?
Strange hypocrisy.
Would anyone be interested in a Stationeers server, I wonder? I adore the game, particularly since adding Lua support to mine. I've been writing more code lately than I have in a while to automate an imaginary Martian station to keep myself alive in the game.
Damn game is an #actuallyaudhd / #actuallyautistic person's dream....
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#Journal of a busy Dutch AuDHD Pixy :pixy_party: (Monday, 13/07/2026).
I had a bit of a broken night again. Not just because of Koa’s potty breaks, but because I was being terrorized by a buzzing asshat 🦟. I did manage to get some sleep through, according to my watch. But because of the interruptions, I still felt rather tired. We got up, and I started our “day” by counting the mosquito bites on my legs and feet. Why am I so delicious to them? I got dressed, and took my meds. Koa got his meal, and then we headed to the couch.
I wrote an email to a sweet friend, and when I was done, I took Koa out for a short walk. When we got back, I enjoyed my brekkie, and I wrote my journal toot. I uploaded it to all the usual places when I was done, and tried to relax a bit with some telly. After some time, Koa wanted out for another short walk, so that’s what we did.
I fixed Koa some more food, and then we relaxed again. When it was light out, we went for a longer walk. Koa extended the walk a wee bit, pushing it more towards the “limits” of what he is allowed to do. But, he did well and we had a good and fun walk. When we got back, I got Koa to his crate, and I rode the bike for 15 minutes.
I was down, relaxing, when bestie called me on the way to her work. During the call, I started the washing machine. When the laundry was done, I hung it out upstairs. Back downstairs, I started the dishwasher, and then Koa and I went for walkies. We had a nice little walk, and when we got back again, we went to the couch for some relaxing.
Just before the coach would come, I took Koa out again, so he would have an empty bladder, when someone new would enter the house. Try to limit the chance of accidents during excited and happy moments. The coach came, she introduced herself, and we had a little chat. Koa was very excited, and after a little while, we decided to walk a bit with Koa. That way, he could release some of his energy, while we could chat a while. Back home, she checked out Koa’s photo albums, while we chatted for things she could help with. We found a thing, which I will try to get some more info on, and then she left. We’d pick it up next week, and see how things would/will go.
I tried to relax for a while, after she left. Koa and I had another walk, we chilled out some more, and then we got ready to head to Nijmegen. Mum was ready when we got there, and we headed on to Kranenburg. Koa got on the scale in the pet store, with some difficulty, and he was at 18,3kg, which is about 40lbs. We found a new harness for him, for when the current one gets too small again. I also wanted a leash, but they didn’t have the big ones in “Koa’s color”, unfortunately. Maybe next time.
We went to another store in Nijmegen, where mum exchanged something she’d gotten the wrong kind of. Then, onward to the train station, as there was a currency exchange shop, so I could “ditch” some “old” foreign money. It took a little while, but I got some money in return, so that was nice. I will have to find a way to get the money into my account, so that I can get Koa his own nice travel crate.
Back at my parent’s place, we had to wait a while, before we could go to the last class. Koa did very well, and I was impressed by him. Class went very well too, and I was so proud of my dude. At the end of class, I started feeling super nauseated. We headed home, and I barely made it to the loo. Well, it was not pretty, but it did feel a lot better when I was done. I got all ready to head to bed after that. It didn’t take too long for both Koa and myself to doze off.
I woke up again about 4 hours later. My body was sore, as it was long time for my meds. So, I got up, and started our “day”.
Thanks to all for your kindness and support during my "journey through daily life" :bear_love: I really appreciate it :bear_hugs: as it helps me to keep going on bad/harder days! :bear_nuzzle:
:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾
#PixysJourney
#WeirdFolks
#ActuallyAuDHD
#KoaKoolaniPS. Picture attached is an edited one taken on Sunday, as I didn't take any snaps this Monday.
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#Journal of a busy Dutch AuDHD Pixy :pixy_party: (Monday, 13/07/2026).
I had a bit of a broken night again. Not just because of Koa’s potty breaks, but because I was being terrorized by a buzzing asshat 🦟. I did manage to get some sleep through, according to my watch. But because of the interruptions, I still felt rather tired. We got up, and I started our “day” by counting the mosquito bites on my legs and feet. Why am I so delicious to them? I got dressed, and took my meds. Koa got his meal, and then we headed to the couch.
I wrote an email to a sweet friend, and when I was done, I took Koa out for a short walk. When we got back, I enjoyed my brekkie, and I wrote my journal toot. I uploaded it to all the usual places when I was done, and tried to relax a bit with some telly. After some time, Koa wanted out for another short walk, so that’s what we did.
I fixed Koa some more food, and then we relaxed again. When it was light out, we went for a longer walk. Koa extended the walk a wee bit, pushing it more towards the “limits” of what he is allowed to do. But, he did well and we had a good and fun walk. When we got back, I got Koa to his crate, and I rode the bike for 15 minutes.
I was down, relaxing, when bestie called me on the way to her work. During the call, I started the washing machine. When the laundry was done, I hung it out upstairs. Back downstairs, I started the dishwasher, and then Koa and I went for walkies. We had a nice little walk, and when we got back again, we went to the couch for some relaxing.
Just before the coach would come, I took Koa out again, so he would have an empty bladder, when someone new would enter the house. Try to limit the chance of accidents during excited and happy moments. The coach came, she introduced herself, and we had a little chat. Koa was very excited, and after a little while, we decided to walk a bit with Koa. That way, he could release some of his energy, while we could chat a while. Back home, she checked out Koa’s photo albums, while we chatted for things she could help with. We found a thing, which I will try to get some more info on, and then she left. We’d pick it up next week, and see how things would/will go.
I tried to relax for a while, after she left. Koa and I had another walk, we chilled out some more, and then we got ready to head to Nijmegen. Mum was ready when we got there, and we headed on to Kranenburg. Koa got on the scale in the pet store, with some difficulty, and he was at 18,3kg, which is about 40lbs. We found a new harness for him, for when the current one gets too small again. I also wanted a leash, but they didn’t have the big ones in “Koa’s color”, unfortunately. Maybe next time.
We went to another store in Nijmegen, where mum exchanged something she’d gotten the wrong kind of. Then, onward to the train station, as there was a currency exchange shop, so I could “ditch” some “old” foreign money. It took a little while, but I got some money in return, so that was nice. I will have to find a way to get the money into my account, so that I can get Koa his own nice travel crate.
Back at my parent’s place, we had to wait a while, before we could go to the last class. Koa did very well, and I was impressed by him. Class went very well too, and I was so proud of my dude. At the end of class, I started feeling super nauseated. We headed home, and I barely made it to the loo. Well, it was not pretty, but it did feel a lot better when I was done. I got all ready to head to bed after that. It didn’t take too long for both Koa and myself to doze off.
I woke up again about 4 hours later. My body was sore, as it was long time for my meds. So, I got up, and started our “day”.
Thanks to all for your kindness and support during my "journey through daily life" :bear_love: I really appreciate it :bear_hugs: as it helps me to keep going on bad/harder days! :bear_nuzzle:
:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾
#PixysJourney
#WeirdFolks
#ActuallyAuDHD
#KoaKoolaniPS. Picture attached is an edited one taken on Sunday, as I didn't take any snaps this Monday.
-
CW: Nothing too bad, just some venting due to receiving "great advice"... But a >6.5k long journal Toot, so this would save some folks from scrolling too long... 😇
#Journal of an excited but exhausted Dutch AuDHD Pixy :pixy_party: (Sunday, 12/07/2026).
We had a bit of a broken night, and I got about 7 hours in total sleeping time, according to my watch. Koa told me it was time to get up, so we did. I got dressed, took my meds, and fixed his meal. Then, we got to the couch, where I wrote a long email to my dear friend. I got distracted a bit, and when I was done, I wanted to have some brekkie.
Koa was getting a bit restless when I was done with my meal, so we went out for a little walk. When we got back, I got back to the laptop, and I wrote my journal toot. When I was done, I put away the laptop, and I used my phone to edit two of yesterday’s walkies vids into one. I tried to relax a bit, although it was made challenging by a stupid buzzing terrorist! Ugh, I hate these stupid animals so much… 🦟
After some relaxing, and swatting, and using some deet (carefully, as Koa will lick body parts when he can), it was slowly getting a bit more light outside. Koa and I went for a short walk, and then had some food. After some more relaxing, and it getting lighter out, Koa and I left for a longer walkies. I started both the GPS app from Koa’s tracker, and on my watch. My watch registered a walk of 1,26km, while Koa’s app made it into 1,3km. So not too bad at all.
After the walk, I was a bit tired. As Koa and I had plans to visit the Hatertse Vennen with my mum again, I wanted to try and “save” some energy for that. So, we went to bed. Koa relaxed in his crate, while I watched some Criminal Minds while on my bed. Again, the buzzing terrorist made things harder for me. So, when I finally managed to kill one, I was hoping that he had not brought any family to my place “for dinner” (aka to prick me way too often).
When I felt a bit more relaxed, we slowly got ready to head to Skoosh. We were a bit earlier, but it would allow us to take it easy. When we arrived at the parking, mum was already there, which was a very nice surprise. So, we got ready too, and we headed to the water side.
I put on my old shoes, so I could head into the water a bit with Koa. A nice lady heard me say to mum that I would have to change my shoes. I just wanted to ask mum to take Koa, when the lady offered to hold Koa, as it would be easier on my mum. Well, I warned her on his enthusiasm, but she was all OK with it. So that was a very nice bit of help.
Koa had a bit of fun at the waterside. No real swims yet, but loads of splashes with Bas, and with another chocolate Lab. After some time, I noticed that it was getting a bit too much for Koa, so I switched out my shoes again, with some difficulty, and we decided to walk a different route back to the car. Which...proved to be rather challenging, as there were many walkers on the path. The “Nijmeegse Vierdaagse” is starting soon, where folks from around the world walk 4 days, 30-40-50 km a day. Many are getting in the final bits of practice now. Some were doing it nicely, sharing the path with others. But, many were thinking they were already doing the “real thing”, and they didn’t want to share the path with others…
What made it more challenging was that I need to keep Koa to the right side, due to my hands and strength. Mum needs to keep Bas to the left, due to her issues. So every time I kept Koa to the right, she was pissed with me, because now she had to do the same with Bas… Well, I don’t know how much Koa weighs at the moment, but I think he’s about double what Bas weighs… So you’d think keeping Bas to the other side for a short time when people pass, would be easier for her to do, than for me, with my herniated disc, to keep Koa on the left side… Besides, autistic me knows that in Europe, we should keep to the right, unless otherwise stated. So, keeping left is also very unnatural to me…
We made it to the parking, with me getting angry with Koa once, because he did the “twist and turn” behind my back again, and it hurt me a lot. And when that happens, I get angry. I pulled his leash back, talked to him with an angry and pained voice, and the last bit, Koa did a lot better. When we got to the parking, there were some folks with another brown Lab, which we’d just seen at the waterside. They were talking to an older lady with a walker. I tried to keep Koa short, as my back hurt from the pull, and I want to try and teach him to stay at my side when passing other dogs and people.
The old lady, well, bat more like, told me that “I should just let him have some fun, there were all good people and good dogs here”. This really made me angry, because that kind of unwanted “advice” is really not helpful at all! Autistic me got into the defense mode, and, all while staying absolutely as polite as I could be, I told her how wrong she was to butt in on me raising my pup. “Excuse me, but good people or bad people, I don’t want my pup to learn it’s OK to jump towards others while he’s on his leash. He will become a 30+ kilo weighing dog, and no-one wants to be the target of him being enthusiastic and jumping up against them. He needs to learn now that he can’t jump against people, even if they don’t mind it now. Plus, what will happen when you don’t have your walker with you, and he will jump against you. Will you still think it’s OK when we have to call an ambulance for the broken hip, due to the fall?”.
The people with the other Lab said nothing, but I saw the lady look at me like “well, that sounds about right”. The old bat was getting soooooo annoyed, maybe even infuriated with me, that I had the audacity to talk back to her like that. But… I stayed polite. I explained. And I walked away… But I was fuming, because people like that are all “ow he’s so cute” now, and when he jumps up when he’s an adult, it will be “you need to keep your dog under control”. Ugh…
We got back to the car, said goodbye to mum and Bas, and we headed home. I cleaned up the messy shoes and all, fixed some food for myself, gave Koa a snack, and we relaxed for a while. We had a few short walks, but I was just so exhausted. We went to bed earlier, first to just relax with some Criminal Minds on my tablet. I fed Koa, let him out to do his business, and then we got ready to sleep.
I had an OK sleep, until the buzzing terrorist used me as a pincushion… I had used deet, but it seemed to be oblivious to it. It kept me awake for some time, and that was so annoying. In the end, I did manage to sleep about 8 hours in total, which felt very good for sure. But, I was still tired, and I needed some after-bite lotion, as I had bumps all over… Even two on my foot, ugh… I was glad that Koa had allowed me some more sleep. So when he woke me up, I got up, and we started our “day”.
Thanks to all for your kindness and support during my "journey through daily life" :bear_love: I really appreciate it :bear_hugs: as it helps me to keep going on bad/harder days! :bear_nuzzle:
:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾
-
CW: Nothing too bad, just some venting due to receiving "great advice"... But a >6.5k long journal Toot, so this would save some folks from scrolling too long... 😇
#Journal of an excited but exhausted Dutch AuDHD Pixy :pixy_party: (Sunday, 12/07/2026).
We had a bit of a broken night, and I got about 7 hours in total sleeping time, according to my watch. Koa told me it was time to get up, so we did. I got dressed, took my meds, and fixed his meal. Then, we got to the couch, where I wrote a long email to my dear friend. I got distracted a bit, and when I was done, I wanted to have some brekkie.
Koa was getting a bit restless when I was done with my meal, so we went out for a little walk. When we got back, I got back to the laptop, and I wrote my journal toot. When I was done, I put away the laptop, and I used my phone to edit two of yesterday’s walkies vids into one. I tried to relax a bit, although it was made challenging by a stupid buzzing terrorist! Ugh, I hate these stupid animals so much… 🦟
After some relaxing, and swatting, and using some deet (carefully, as Koa will lick body parts when he can), it was slowly getting a bit more light outside. Koa and I went for a short walk, and then had some food. After some more relaxing, and it getting lighter out, Koa and I left for a longer walkies. I started both the GPS app from Koa’s tracker, and on my watch. My watch registered a walk of 1,26km, while Koa’s app made it into 1,3km. So not too bad at all.
After the walk, I was a bit tired. As Koa and I had plans to visit the Hatertse Vennen with my mum again, I wanted to try and “save” some energy for that. So, we went to bed. Koa relaxed in his crate, while I watched some Criminal Minds while on my bed. Again, the buzzing terrorist made things harder for me. So, when I finally managed to kill one, I was hoping that he had not brought any family to my place “for dinner” (aka to prick me way too often).
When I felt a bit more relaxed, we slowly got ready to head to Skoosh. We were a bit earlier, but it would allow us to take it easy. When we arrived at the parking, mum was already there, which was a very nice surprise. So, we got ready too, and we headed to the water side.
I put on my old shoes, so I could head into the water a bit with Koa. A nice lady heard me say to mum that I would have to change my shoes. I just wanted to ask mum to take Koa, when the lady offered to hold Koa, as it would be easier on my mum. Well, I warned her on his enthusiasm, but she was all OK with it. So that was a very nice bit of help.
Koa had a bit of fun at the waterside. No real swims yet, but loads of splashes with Bas, and with another chocolate Lab. After some time, I noticed that it was getting a bit too much for Koa, so I switched out my shoes again, with some difficulty, and we decided to walk a different route back to the car. Which...proved to be rather challenging, as there were many walkers on the path. The “Nijmeegse Vierdaagse” is starting soon, where folks from around the world walk 4 days, 30-40-50 km a day. Many are getting in the final bits of practice now. Some were doing it nicely, sharing the path with others. But, many were thinking they were already doing the “real thing”, and they didn’t want to share the path with others…
What made it more challenging was that I need to keep Koa to the right side, due to my hands and strength. Mum needs to keep Bas to the left, due to her issues. So every time I kept Koa to the right, she was pissed with me, because now she had to do the same with Bas… Well, I don’t know how much Koa weighs at the moment, but I think he’s about double what Bas weighs… So you’d think keeping Bas to the other side for a short time when people pass, would be easier for her to do, than for me, with my herniated disc, to keep Koa on the left side… Besides, autistic me knows that in Europe, we should keep to the right, unless otherwise stated. So, keeping left is also very unnatural to me…
We made it to the parking, with me getting angry with Koa once, because he did the “twist and turn” behind my back again, and it hurt me a lot. And when that happens, I get angry. I pulled his leash back, talked to him with an angry and pained voice, and the last bit, Koa did a lot better. When we got to the parking, there were some folks with another brown Lab, which we’d just seen at the waterside. They were talking to an older lady with a walker. I tried to keep Koa short, as my back hurt from the pull, and I want to try and teach him to stay at my side when passing other dogs and people.
The old lady, well, bat more like, told me that “I should just let him have some fun, there were all good people and good dogs here”. This really made me angry, because that kind of unwanted “advice” is really not helpful at all! Autistic me got into the defense mode, and, all while staying absolutely as polite as I could be, I told her how wrong she was to butt in on me raising my pup. “Excuse me, but good people or bad people, I don’t want my pup to learn it’s OK to jump towards others while he’s on his leash. He will become a 30+ kilo weighing dog, and no-one wants to be the target of him being enthusiastic and jumping up against them. He needs to learn now that he can’t jump against people, even if they don’t mind it now. Plus, what will happen when you don’t have your walker with you, and he will jump against you. Will you still think it’s OK when we have to call an ambulance for the broken hip, due to the fall?”.
The people with the other Lab said nothing, but I saw the lady look at me like “well, that sounds about right”. The old bat was getting soooooo annoyed, maybe even infuriated with me, that I had the audacity to talk back to her like that. But… I stayed polite. I explained. And I walked away… But I was fuming, because people like that are all “ow he’s so cute” now, and when he jumps up when he’s an adult, it will be “you need to keep your dog under control”. Ugh…
We got back to the car, said goodbye to mum and Bas, and we headed home. I cleaned up the messy shoes and all, fixed some food for myself, gave Koa a snack, and we relaxed for a while. We had a few short walks, but I was just so exhausted. We went to bed earlier, first to just relax with some Criminal Minds on my tablet. I fed Koa, let him out to do his business, and then we got ready to sleep.
I had an OK sleep, until the buzzing terrorist used me as a pincushion… I had used deet, but it seemed to be oblivious to it. It kept me awake for some time, and that was so annoying. In the end, I did manage to sleep about 8 hours in total, which felt very good for sure. But, I was still tired, and I needed some after-bite lotion, as I had bumps all over… Even two on my foot, ugh… I was glad that Koa had allowed me some more sleep. So when he woke me up, I got up, and we started our “day”.
Thanks to all for your kindness and support during my "journey through daily life" :bear_love: I really appreciate it :bear_hugs: as it helps me to keep going on bad/harder days! :bear_nuzzle:
:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾
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#Journal of a Dutch AuDHD Pixy :pixy_party: (Saturday, 11/07/2026).
I had a decent enough night with, according to my watch, about 7½ hours of sleep. It was broken up, of course, as Koa needed to go out several times. Ow, I cant wait for his bladder to hold it up a wee bit longer… We got up, I got dressed, I took my meds, prepped Koa’s meal, and we started our day.
I wrote an email to my sweet friend. There was some good news, so that was very nice indeed. When I had finished the email, I got some brekkie. I struggled to write the journal toot, so when Koa wanted to go out, we went for a short walk. A bit of fresh air, and some movement, it did me good. But, I still struggled to write my journal toot somehow. I managed in the end, but I had a slight headache, and it was annoying me.
I worked a bit on my blog, and then I put away the laptop. Koa and I tried to relax a little with some telly. Then, we went out on another short walkies. I had this bläh feeling, and I just didn’t understand why… I had gotten some decent sleep, the meds were helping me reasonably well, and some good things had been happening. But still, I struggled with my emotions and energy.
I went upstairs to ride my bike for a little while. After that, Koa and I went out for a bit of a longer walk. I thought he’d enjoyed the one yesterday, and it’s good for the both of us, so hey ho! Koa was a bit difficult to handle on the leash, as he kept pulling this way and that, and he struggled with the sounds of the doggy boarding area, as there was a lot of barking to be heard.
When we got back, I really needed to relax for a while. The bike ride, and the longer walk, they had drained me for a bit. So, Koa and I relaxed for a bit, he in his crate, and I on bed. I didn’t sleep, I watched Criminal Minds on my tablet, and scrolled a bit through the FediVerse. After some time, we got up again, and Koa signaled he wanted to head out again. So, we went for another little walk.
We relaxed for a while, with some telly, some online scrolling, some short walkies. I still felt a bit bläh… One of my parcels arrived nice on time. The others were coming with a different carrier, DHL and, as usual, they were making a mess of things again. This, of course, didn’t help me with my headache and feelings of bläh.
Around noon, Koa and I went for another nice walk. The weather was getting warmer, and we walked a wee bit differently, so Koa got some new sniffs in. When we got back home, we went to bed a bit earlier, not to sleep at first, but to relax. I had walked quite a bit, as I managed >8.5k in steps today. The last few days, Koa and I have been trying to get some more walks in, with the meds helping me with that. Last week, my steps average increased a little after starting the meds, and it went to about 5k average. When I now check the last 7 days, the average is at a little over 7k. So not too bad at all. Of course, it’s nothing compared to my “old” averages, but with a puppy, no gym, a bad back and all… It’s quite a challenge to even get to 5k steps…
I had asked my online friendos on Masto, if some would be interested in chatting with me. I got some replies, and when I was relaxing on bed, I chatted for a while with a very kind lady in Australia. After a while, I fed Koa, and I let him out into the garden. When he had done his things, we got ready to head to bed. It took me some time to doze off. And when I finally did, a loud banging on the door woke me up again…
Of course DHL had to mess up again. I had put into the app that they should deliver it with my neighbor (with her permission). So, they wanted to deliver it with me… And now I have to wait until they deliver it at the parcel vault next week… Ugh, it just drives me nuts at times… I dozed off again, until Koa woke me up for a potty break. After that, he allowed me a little over 4 hours of sleep, before waking me up again, letting me know he was done with being in the crate. So, we got up, and we started our “day”.
Thanks to all for your kindness and support during my "journey through daily life" :bear_love: I really appreciate it :bear_hugs: as it helps me to keep going on bad/harder days! :bear_nuzzle:
:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾
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#Journal of a Dutch AuDHD Pixy :pixy_party: (Saturday, 11/07/2026).
I had a decent enough night with, according to my watch, about 7½ hours of sleep. It was broken up, of course, as Koa needed to go out several times. Ow, I cant wait for his bladder to hold it up a wee bit longer… We got up, I got dressed, I took my meds, prepped Koa’s meal, and we started our day.
I wrote an email to my sweet friend. There was some good news, so that was very nice indeed. When I had finished the email, I got some brekkie. I struggled to write the journal toot, so when Koa wanted to go out, we went for a short walk. A bit of fresh air, and some movement, it did me good. But, I still struggled to write my journal toot somehow. I managed in the end, but I had a slight headache, and it was annoying me.
I worked a bit on my blog, and then I put away the laptop. Koa and I tried to relax a little with some telly. Then, we went out on another short walkies. I had this bläh feeling, and I just didn’t understand why… I had gotten some decent sleep, the meds were helping me reasonably well, and some good things had been happening. But still, I struggled with my emotions and energy.
I went upstairs to ride my bike for a little while. After that, Koa and I went out for a bit of a longer walk. I thought he’d enjoyed the one yesterday, and it’s good for the both of us, so hey ho! Koa was a bit difficult to handle on the leash, as he kept pulling this way and that, and he struggled with the sounds of the doggy boarding area, as there was a lot of barking to be heard.
When we got back, I really needed to relax for a while. The bike ride, and the longer walk, they had drained me for a bit. So, Koa and I relaxed for a bit, he in his crate, and I on bed. I didn’t sleep, I watched Criminal Minds on my tablet, and scrolled a bit through the FediVerse. After some time, we got up again, and Koa signaled he wanted to head out again. So, we went for another little walk.
We relaxed for a while, with some telly, some online scrolling, some short walkies. I still felt a bit bläh… One of my parcels arrived nice on time. The others were coming with a different carrier, DHL and, as usual, they were making a mess of things again. This, of course, didn’t help me with my headache and feelings of bläh.
Around noon, Koa and I went for another nice walk. The weather was getting warmer, and we walked a wee bit differently, so Koa got some new sniffs in. When we got back home, we went to bed a bit earlier, not to sleep at first, but to relax. I had walked quite a bit, as I managed >8.5k in steps today. The last few days, Koa and I have been trying to get some more walks in, with the meds helping me with that. Last week, my steps average increased a little after starting the meds, and it went to about 5k average. When I now check the last 7 days, the average is at a little over 7k. So not too bad at all. Of course, it’s nothing compared to my “old” averages, but with a puppy, no gym, a bad back and all… It’s quite a challenge to even get to 5k steps…
I had asked my online friendos on Masto, if some would be interested in chatting with me. I got some replies, and when I was relaxing on bed, I chatted for a while with a very kind lady in Australia. After a while, I fed Koa, and I let him out into the garden. When he had done his things, we got ready to head to bed. It took me some time to doze off. And when I finally did, a loud banging on the door woke me up again…
Of course DHL had to mess up again. I had put into the app that they should deliver it with my neighbor (with her permission). So, they wanted to deliver it with me… And now I have to wait until they deliver it at the parcel vault next week… Ugh, it just drives me nuts at times… I dozed off again, until Koa woke me up for a potty break. After that, he allowed me a little over 4 hours of sleep, before waking me up again, letting me know he was done with being in the crate. So, we got up, and we started our “day”.
Thanks to all for your kindness and support during my "journey through daily life" :bear_love: I really appreciate it :bear_hugs: as it helps me to keep going on bad/harder days! :bear_nuzzle:
:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾
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#Journal of a slightly relaxed Dutch AuDHD Pixy :pixy_party: (Friday, 10/07/2026).
I had a bit of a shorter night than I hoped, as Koa needed two potty breaks, and it took a little time to doze off. So, when we got up, I was still a tad tired and also, rather sore. Time to take my meds again! I used the scale, which wasn't too bad, and I got dressed. I took the meds, and prepared Koa’s meal. When he had finished, we got to the couch, where I settled down with my laptop.
I was just writing my sweet friend an email, when he emailed me with some awesome news! I saved the message I was working on, sent him a quick, very excited, email, and I promised I would send a longer email to him in a bit, as I was still working on it. But, I had to quickly reply to the awesomeness!
I finished the email, and made some brekkie. Followed by writing my journal toot. When that had been uploaded to the usual places, I took Koa out for a little walk. He did his things, and we got back home, where we relaxed on the couch for a while. I wrote a little bit for my blog site, while I watched some more of Criminal Minds.
When it was getting light out, while it was still a bit cooler, I took Koa out for another walk. I decided that I wanted to try a new, a bit longer, route with him. As it would be a warmer day, according to the forecast, I wanted Koa to have a nice walk before the weather got too warm for it. It was a bit hard on my back and leg, but I think Koa enjoyed it, even though it was a bit “scary” at times as well, with all the new impressions.
We got back, and I was rather tired. I think Koa was a tad tired too, so we relaxed together for a while. As my back and leg were a bit sore, since we walked 1,2km, according to Koa’s GPS tracker, I got into my shortama, and I went to bed for a while. I wanted to leave Koa loose, as in, not crate him. But, he started messing with my curtains… First, he kept trying to open them, while I closed them, to keep the heat and light out. When he started to chew on the curtains, I knew I had to crate him.
I relaxed for about 45 minutes, and then Koa started to get uneasy. He had drank a bit when we got back from the walk, so I figured he had to go out for a wee. I dressed again, and we headed out for a short walk. Koa’s idea of a short walk was a bit longer than mine, and when we got back, my back and leg weren’t too pleased with me. I got to bed again for a little while.
Mum texted me that she was on her way with the groceries, so I got dressed, and I opened the roller-curtain, so we could enter the house from the backside parking. Koa wanted to go out again, so we went out, and he did his business. I had just cleaned it up, when mum arrived. I got Koa inside, and helped mum with the groceries. When they were cleaned up, I got mum’s laptop, which she brought, and I “got to work”.
I saw that dad had installed two free antivirus programs. I always thought that you should only use one, as they could work against each other in some ways. I had a license to a paid antivirus program, so I deleted the two free ones, and I installed the paid version. I think that one paid version is better than two free ones… Then, I installed the chat-apps for mum. When her old phone died, I asked her why she didn’t use the apps on her laptop, also because it could be easier for her, with typing on a normal keyboard. Mum didn’t even know that this was possible… So, I installed the apps for her, and we connected them with the phone apps. Maybe, in a way, this can make chatting for mum a bit easier…
Koa had to go out for a wee, but I was expecting new filters for the ventilation system, and a parcel with new snacks for Koa was on its way. Mum offered to stay home for a bit, so I could take Koa out for a short walk. When Koa and I got back, mum had gotten a few new sets of filters, so I immediately took them upstairs, and exchanged the dirty old ones for a new set.
Mum headed back home, and Koa and I relaxed for a bit. When the parcel with Koa’s snacks had arrived, he and I went to bed. Not so sleep yet, but to relax, as my back was still bothering me. After about 30 minutes, I took my meds, and I made Koa his meal. I could use the new scale, and this one seemed a lot more accurate. Yay! When Koa was done with his meal, we went outside for a bit, and he could do his thing. Then, I brushed my teeth, and Koa and I did go to bed for some snoozing.
I dozed off a bit, and then Koa woke me up already for a big pee. And, back to bed again… After some more snoozing, Koa woke me up again, and this time, after a few minutes outside, he did a big number 2. And, back to bed… When he woke me up again, I felt like I could have slept a bit longer… But, I also felt like it was time to take my meds, as my back was very unkind to me. I thought I had not slept a lot, but, according to my watch, my “actual sleeping time” was 7:30 hours in total. So, actually, it was not that bad…
We got up, with some effort, and we started our “day”…
Thanks to all for your kindness and support during my "journey through daily life" :bear_love: I really appreciate it :bear_hugs: as it helps me to keep going on bad/harder days! :bear_nuzzle:
:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾
#PixysJourney
#WeirdFolks
#ActuallyAuDHD
#KoaKoolaniPS. Sorry I didn't take any Koa snaps this day 🫣
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#Journal of a slightly relaxed Dutch AuDHD Pixy :pixy_party: (Friday, 10/07/2026).
I had a bit of a shorter night than I hoped, as Koa needed two potty breaks, and it took a little time to doze off. So, when we got up, I was still a tad tired and also, rather sore. Time to take my meds again! I used the scale, which wasn't too bad, and I got dressed. I took the meds, and prepared Koa’s meal. When he had finished, we got to the couch, where I settled down with my laptop.
I was just writing my sweet friend an email, when he emailed me with some awesome news! I saved the message I was working on, sent him a quick, very excited, email, and I promised I would send a longer email to him in a bit, as I was still working on it. But, I had to quickly reply to the awesomeness!
I finished the email, and made some brekkie. Followed by writing my journal toot. When that had been uploaded to the usual places, I took Koa out for a little walk. He did his things, and we got back home, where we relaxed on the couch for a while. I wrote a little bit for my blog site, while I watched some more of Criminal Minds.
When it was getting light out, while it was still a bit cooler, I took Koa out for another walk. I decided that I wanted to try a new, a bit longer, route with him. As it would be a warmer day, according to the forecast, I wanted Koa to have a nice walk before the weather got too warm for it. It was a bit hard on my back and leg, but I think Koa enjoyed it, even though it was a bit “scary” at times as well, with all the new impressions.
We got back, and I was rather tired. I think Koa was a tad tired too, so we relaxed together for a while. As my back and leg were a bit sore, since we walked 1,2km, according to Koa’s GPS tracker, I got into my shortama, and I went to bed for a while. I wanted to leave Koa loose, as in, not crate him. But, he started messing with my curtains… First, he kept trying to open them, while I closed them, to keep the heat and light out. When he started to chew on the curtains, I knew I had to crate him.
I relaxed for about 45 minutes, and then Koa started to get uneasy. He had drank a bit when we got back from the walk, so I figured he had to go out for a wee. I dressed again, and we headed out for a short walk. Koa’s idea of a short walk was a bit longer than mine, and when we got back, my back and leg weren’t too pleased with me. I got to bed again for a little while.
Mum texted me that she was on her way with the groceries, so I got dressed, and I opened the roller-curtain, so we could enter the house from the backside parking. Koa wanted to go out again, so we went out, and he did his business. I had just cleaned it up, when mum arrived. I got Koa inside, and helped mum with the groceries. When they were cleaned up, I got mum’s laptop, which she brought, and I “got to work”.
I saw that dad had installed two free antivirus programs. I always thought that you should only use one, as they could work against each other in some ways. I had a license to a paid antivirus program, so I deleted the two free ones, and I installed the paid version. I think that one paid version is better than two free ones… Then, I installed the chat-apps for mum. When her old phone died, I asked her why she didn’t use the apps on her laptop, also because it could be easier for her, with typing on a normal keyboard. Mum didn’t even know that this was possible… So, I installed the apps for her, and we connected them with the phone apps. Maybe, in a way, this can make chatting for mum a bit easier…
Koa had to go out for a wee, but I was expecting new filters for the ventilation system, and a parcel with new snacks for Koa was on its way. Mum offered to stay home for a bit, so I could take Koa out for a short walk. When Koa and I got back, mum had gotten a few new sets of filters, so I immediately took them upstairs, and exchanged the dirty old ones for a new set.
Mum headed back home, and Koa and I relaxed for a bit. When the parcel with Koa’s snacks had arrived, he and I went to bed. Not so sleep yet, but to relax, as my back was still bothering me. After about 30 minutes, I took my meds, and I made Koa his meal. I could use the new scale, and this one seemed a lot more accurate. Yay! When Koa was done with his meal, we went outside for a bit, and he could do his thing. Then, I brushed my teeth, and Koa and I did go to bed for some snoozing.
I dozed off a bit, and then Koa woke me up already for a big pee. And, back to bed again… After some more snoozing, Koa woke me up again, and this time, after a few minutes outside, he did a big number 2. And, back to bed… When he woke me up again, I felt like I could have slept a bit longer… But, I also felt like it was time to take my meds, as my back was very unkind to me. I thought I had not slept a lot, but, according to my watch, my “actual sleeping time” was 7:30 hours in total. So, actually, it was not that bad…
We got up, with some effort, and we started our “day”…
Thanks to all for your kindness and support during my "journey through daily life" :bear_love: I really appreciate it :bear_hugs: as it helps me to keep going on bad/harder days! :bear_nuzzle:
:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾
#PixysJourney
#WeirdFolks
#ActuallyAuDHD
#KoaKoolaniPS. Sorry I didn't take any Koa snaps this day 🫣
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#Journal of a slightly enthusiastic, and slightly exhausted, Dutch AuDHD Pixy :pixy_party: (Thursday, 09/07/2026).
After an OK enough night, with about 7 hours of sleep in total, Koa told me it was time to get up and to start our “day”. I got to the scale, which surprised me a little, in a nice way. I dressed, took my meds, fed the little nibbler, and then I got to the couch with my laptop. I wrote a long email to my sweet friend, followed by my journal toot. When the toot was uploaded to all the usual places, I put away the laptop, and fixed myself some brekkie.
After brekkie, Koa and I went for a short walkies. When we got back, we crashed on the couch, and relaxed for a while. I worked a bit on a blog post, while I watched some Criminal Minds. After some telly time, it was getting light out, and Koa and I went for another walk. I made some food for Koa, before I headed upstairs for my little bike ride. Koa wasn’t too pleased with me being gone, but fortunately, he wasn't too vocal about it. When I got back downstairs, I fixed myself some food as well.
Bestie called me on her way to physio, and we had a nice chat. I walked a bit with Koa, and then we relaxed again. I wanted to go to the store, to buy some envelopes and stamps. I could go with Skoosh, and be back in a jiffy. But, the weather was nice, my meds were working, and I felt eager to walk a bit, and see how that would go.
I texted the neighbor, asking if she’d be interested in joining me and Koa for a walk to the store. It turned out, she was just getting ready to head to the supermarket, which is about 140m from the store I needed. So, we met up to walk together. After a little bit, she took over Koa’s leash, which helped my back a lot. And, I think she enjoyed it too. It had been two weeks since her furry loved one had passed the rainbow bridge, so it was hard for her. But, I saw her smile a bit from time to time, which made me feel a bit better. I had forgotten to turn on the GPS tracking on Koa’s collar, so we missed a bit of the activity. But… We managed to get to the stores, and then back again. I was dead, and Koa was rather tired too. Time and distance wise, it was the max for him, maybe a bit too much, because of all the new impressions. But, Koa had done a great job! And I think all three of us had enjoyed the little walk and company.
When we got home, I gave Koa something to snack, and he went to the crate in the bedroom. I went to bed, not to sleep, but to relax. We had walked almost 2km, and it was a lot for my poor back and leg. And, while I was exhausted, I also felt good about it. We relaxed for about 90 minutes, and then Koa wanted to go out again. He had drunk a lot after coming home, so he had to wee. I was all for a short nip to the grassy field behind the house, and then back again. Koa wanted a bit more… Which was not appreciated by my leg and back.
We got back, and we relaxed a bit. I got Koa’s old-skool photo album, and I started adding the pictures that had arrived the previous day. Koa started “playing” with my curtains, which I had closed due to both heat and light, and when he used his little teefs in them, I put him back into the crate. I finished adding all the pictures, now I need to add all the dates into an excel sheet, and hope that my dad will want to print them, so that I can cut them out, and add them to the pictures.
When I was done, I gave Koa his meal. We went into the garden for a while, where he could do his things. After that, I took my meds, and we got ready to head to bed. It was a bit earlier, but I was just so tired… Of course, Koa was snoozing in no time, and it took me a bit longer to get comfortable enough to doze off.
I woke up a few times for doggy breaks, I still hope that, sooner rather than later, Koa will be back to needing max 1 potty break a night. He was on one for a while, but then he fell back into needing two… The breeder says the bladder control should be getting better once they’ve finished the teething process. Koa has two wobble little teefs in the front, and he still needs to exchange the fangs and molars… So, I guess I will have to be patient a bit longer… (although, after more than 11 weeks, I do long for a few “good nights”…).
We got up, and I used the scale. It was a bit higher, weight wise, but the fat percentage was a bit lower, so I guess it’s not that bad. I still hope to get my weight below the 80 kilos again, sooner than later would be nice, I want to be able to shed this obesity again… At the end of last year, I finally got close to it, but then, due to weather, family things, and me feeling like crap, it went up again. I really hope that I can start visiting the gym again soon, if both Koa and my body will allow it… I really miss it, in more than one way…
Thanks to all for your kindness and support during my "journey through daily life" :bear_love: I really appreciate it :bear_hugs: as it helps me to keep going on bad/harder days! :bear_nuzzle:
:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾
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#Journal of a slightly enthusiastic, and slightly exhausted, Dutch AuDHD Pixy :pixy_party: (Thursday, 09/07/2026).
After an OK enough night, with about 7 hours of sleep in total, Koa told me it was time to get up and to start our “day”. I got to the scale, which surprised me a little, in a nice way. I dressed, took my meds, fed the little nibbler, and then I got to the couch with my laptop. I wrote a long email to my sweet friend, followed by my journal toot. When the toot was uploaded to all the usual places, I put away the laptop, and fixed myself some brekkie.
After brekkie, Koa and I went for a short walkies. When we got back, we crashed on the couch, and relaxed for a while. I worked a bit on a blog post, while I watched some Criminal Minds. After some telly time, it was getting light out, and Koa and I went for another walk. I made some food for Koa, before I headed upstairs for my little bike ride. Koa wasn’t too pleased with me being gone, but fortunately, he wasn't too vocal about it. When I got back downstairs, I fixed myself some food as well.
Bestie called me on her way to physio, and we had a nice chat. I walked a bit with Koa, and then we relaxed again. I wanted to go to the store, to buy some envelopes and stamps. I could go with Skoosh, and be back in a jiffy. But, the weather was nice, my meds were working, and I felt eager to walk a bit, and see how that would go.
I texted the neighbor, asking if she’d be interested in joining me and Koa for a walk to the store. It turned out, she was just getting ready to head to the supermarket, which is about 140m from the store I needed. So, we met up to walk together. After a little bit, she took over Koa’s leash, which helped my back a lot. And, I think she enjoyed it too. It had been two weeks since her furry loved one had passed the rainbow bridge, so it was hard for her. But, I saw her smile a bit from time to time, which made me feel a bit better. I had forgotten to turn on the GPS tracking on Koa’s collar, so we missed a bit of the activity. But… We managed to get to the stores, and then back again. I was dead, and Koa was rather tired too. Time and distance wise, it was the max for him, maybe a bit too much, because of all the new impressions. But, Koa had done a great job! And I think all three of us had enjoyed the little walk and company.
When we got home, I gave Koa something to snack, and he went to the crate in the bedroom. I went to bed, not to sleep, but to relax. We had walked almost 2km, and it was a lot for my poor back and leg. And, while I was exhausted, I also felt good about it. We relaxed for about 90 minutes, and then Koa wanted to go out again. He had drunk a lot after coming home, so he had to wee. I was all for a short nip to the grassy field behind the house, and then back again. Koa wanted a bit more… Which was not appreciated by my leg and back.
We got back, and we relaxed a bit. I got Koa’s old-skool photo album, and I started adding the pictures that had arrived the previous day. Koa started “playing” with my curtains, which I had closed due to both heat and light, and when he used his little teefs in them, I put him back into the crate. I finished adding all the pictures, now I need to add all the dates into an excel sheet, and hope that my dad will want to print them, so that I can cut them out, and add them to the pictures.
When I was done, I gave Koa his meal. We went into the garden for a while, where he could do his things. After that, I took my meds, and we got ready to head to bed. It was a bit earlier, but I was just so tired… Of course, Koa was snoozing in no time, and it took me a bit longer to get comfortable enough to doze off.
I woke up a few times for doggy breaks, I still hope that, sooner rather than later, Koa will be back to needing max 1 potty break a night. He was on one for a while, but then he fell back into needing two… The breeder says the bladder control should be getting better once they’ve finished the teething process. Koa has two wobble little teefs in the front, and he still needs to exchange the fangs and molars… So, I guess I will have to be patient a bit longer… (although, after more than 11 weeks, I do long for a few “good nights”…).
We got up, and I used the scale. It was a bit higher, weight wise, but the fat percentage was a bit lower, so I guess it’s not that bad. I still hope to get my weight below the 80 kilos again, sooner than later would be nice, I want to be able to shed this obesity again… At the end of last year, I finally got close to it, but then, due to weather, family things, and me feeling like crap, it went up again. I really hope that I can start visiting the gym again soon, if both Koa and my body will allow it… I really miss it, in more than one way…
Thanks to all for your kindness and support during my "journey through daily life" :bear_love: I really appreciate it :bear_hugs: as it helps me to keep going on bad/harder days! :bear_nuzzle:
:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾
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#Journal of a slightly relaxed Dutch AuDHD Pixy :pixy_party: (Wednesday, 08/07/2026).
I was rather tired, and thanks to the meds, and thanks to Koa, I was able to get some more sleep tonight. Which had been very welcome, and needed… When Koa woke me up, I could not believe the time on my phone. Until I felt my body, and I realized that my pain meds had been done with… I tried to get to the scale, which was not too bad, and then I got dressed. I took my meds, and made Koa happy with a nice meal. Then, we went to the couch, where we tried to relax some.
I got my laptop, and I wrote an email to a sweet friend, and then I wrote my journal toot. When all the writing had been finished, I fixed myself some brekkie. I took Koa for a short walkies. After that, we got back to the couch, and we tried to relax a bit with some telly.
It was a good night, and we had a relaxing time. When it got light out, Koa and I went for a short walk. I fixed some food for Koa and myself, and I watched some telly. After some more relaxing, I took Koa out for a little longer walk. While we were walking, bestie called me on her way to work. We had a nice chat, and Koa and I managed an 842m walk, according to his GPS tracker.
When bestie had arrived, it was time for me to head upstairs for a bit, to ride my bike. I was a bit distracted, and had an 18-minute ride. A bit longer than I should have, but it had gone well enough. I relaxed for a little while, and then Koa and I went out for another walk, but a shorter one this time.
We relaxed a lot today, with some walkies in between. I received my parcel with the picture prints that I had ordered. I sorted all of them, making sure they would be in the right order. When that was done, I received my parcel with the special 40th anniversary vinyl of Roxette’s “Neverending Love” single.
My back was really sore, and I could not get comfy on the couch, so I got everything ready to head to bed. Not to sleep, but to allow my back to relax properly. After an hour, I got up again, and I fed my boy. He went out for his business, and I took my meds. I went back to bed again, and now I was hoping to get some sleep, but my brain and body would not allow me to relax enough. So it took me quite a little while before I was finally able to doze off…
Koa woke me up twice during the night. When he woke me up again, it was too early, and I told him I needed at least another hour. And… He dozed off again, as did I, and… he woke me up again an hour later. So yeah, it was time to get up then. According to my watch, I got about 7 hours of sleep, so it wasn't too bad. Koa and I got up, and we started our “day”.
Thanks to all for your kindness and support during my "journey through daily life" :bear_love: I really appreciate it :bear_hugs: as it helps me to keep going on bad/harder days! :bear_nuzzle:
:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾
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#Journal of a slightly relaxed Dutch AuDHD Pixy :pixy_party: (Wednesday, 08/07/2026).
I was rather tired, and thanks to the meds, and thanks to Koa, I was able to get some more sleep tonight. Which had been very welcome, and needed… When Koa woke me up, I could not believe the time on my phone. Until I felt my body, and I realized that my pain meds had been done with… I tried to get to the scale, which was not too bad, and then I got dressed. I took my meds, and made Koa happy with a nice meal. Then, we went to the couch, where we tried to relax some.
I got my laptop, and I wrote an email to a sweet friend, and then I wrote my journal toot. When all the writing had been finished, I fixed myself some brekkie. I took Koa for a short walkies. After that, we got back to the couch, and we tried to relax a bit with some telly.
It was a good night, and we had a relaxing time. When it got light out, Koa and I went for a short walk. I fixed some food for Koa and myself, and I watched some telly. After some more relaxing, I took Koa out for a little longer walk. While we were walking, bestie called me on her way to work. We had a nice chat, and Koa and I managed an 842m walk, according to his GPS tracker.
When bestie had arrived, it was time for me to head upstairs for a bit, to ride my bike. I was a bit distracted, and had an 18-minute ride. A bit longer than I should have, but it had gone well enough. I relaxed for a little while, and then Koa and I went out for another walk, but a shorter one this time.
We relaxed a lot today, with some walkies in between. I received my parcel with the picture prints that I had ordered. I sorted all of them, making sure they would be in the right order. When that was done, I received my parcel with the special 40th anniversary vinyl of Roxette’s “Neverending Love” single.
My back was really sore, and I could not get comfy on the couch, so I got everything ready to head to bed. Not to sleep, but to allow my back to relax properly. After an hour, I got up again, and I fed my boy. He went out for his business, and I took my meds. I went back to bed again, and now I was hoping to get some sleep, but my brain and body would not allow me to relax enough. So it took me quite a little while before I was finally able to doze off…
Koa woke me up twice during the night. When he woke me up again, it was too early, and I told him I needed at least another hour. And… He dozed off again, as did I, and… he woke me up again an hour later. So yeah, it was time to get up then. According to my watch, I got about 7 hours of sleep, so it wasn't too bad. Koa and I got up, and we started our “day”.
Thanks to all for your kindness and support during my "journey through daily life" :bear_love: I really appreciate it :bear_hugs: as it helps me to keep going on bad/harder days! :bear_nuzzle:
:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾
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CW: Nothing bad! Except my back 😉. But a >5k journal Toot, so a CW to save some folks from scrolling too long... 😇
#Journal of a slightly tired Dutch AuDHD Pixy :pixy_party: (Tuesday, 07/07/2026).
We had gone to bed earlier than we planned, due to the puppy class being canceled. When I woke up for the loo, I had gotten less than 4 hours of sleep. But, I was in pain, as it was time to take my meds. I had taken a short working one before bed, because I knew the long one would “run out” during the night. So, I guess when the short one ran out as well, it woke me up and “told” me it was time to get up, start my “day”, and quickly take my meds.
I dressed, took my meds, fed Koa, and then, I headed to the couch with my laptop. Koa was still tired, heck, I was too, and he quickly dozed off next to me. Which was so sweet and all, as he was snoozing again with his cute giraffe plushies. I started working on my email to my sweet friend. My friend had shared a beautiful picture with it, which I “abused” with some AI to make some lovely edits of it. I sent them to my friend with my reply, hoping he would love them.
When I was done with the email, I started writing my journal toot. I uploaded it to all the usual places, and then I put my laptop away. Koa and I went for a short walk. And then we relaxed for a while with some telly, and some scrolling through the Fediverse.
When it was getting light, Koa and I went out for another walk. I fed him when we got back. After which, Koa went into his crate for a while, so I could go upstairs and ride my bike for a bit. I managed to ride for ten minutes. I got back, and relaxed some more. Then, bestie called me on her way to work. We had a nice chat. When she arrived at work, we hung up, and I took Koa for another short walk.
As I was tired, I tried to relax for a while. I did my stretching exercise, and I watched some more telly. The worker came to service my ventilation system. And, as expected, he didn’t have the right filters… While they are so disgusting, that I really need new ones. It’s been such a hassle with that company. They installed the systems here, and somehow, every time they come here to service the installation (well, they never really service anything, they just swap out the filters), they have the wrong filters with them. And, every time they have the excuse that there are so many filters available, that it’s hard to know which ones to bring…
What a load of BS… They installed the systems in our homes of the rental coop project. They have been “servicing” them for over two years now. How come they still “don’t know” which filters are needed for this project??? I mean, they have a contract with the rental coop, they have all the stats of the systems, as the rental coop pays for it… And still, the frak it up every time! I feel they do it on purpose… Because now, someone will have to come again, to switch the filters. So, instead of being able to send one bill for the “work”, they now can send two! But I am getting to tired of it all, because they should have already switched the filters a month ago, and they expect you to be home “between 8-13”, so you can’t do anything for a whole day, not until they have come and gone again. Ugh…
So yeah, I am still dealing with the disgusting filters, and I need to be home again, for someone to come again… But, at least he came early, so I could relax a bit after that. I fixed some food, and then walked with Koa again. Mum texted that she was on her way to us, so that was nice. When she arrived, we chatted a bit, and I got her comfortable to get through the hours while I was gone. Koa had his snuffle mat, and then he relaxed, and I headed to the physio.
I remembered to take the highway, and the long way round, as other roads were closed due to construction. I waited till it was my turn, and then, my physio checked me out. He said I was doing slightly better, and he was pleased with the little progress that was made. We still have a long way to go, but still, there is some more movement, and some less pain (of course I have better meds now as well).
After the PT, I drove back home. I had a pit stop at the supermarket, where I got some food, as I was really running low on it. When I got back home, Koa was very glad to see me again. I chatted a bit with mum, and then she headed back home again. I relaxed for a while, and then I got things ready to head to bed. Not to sleep just yet, as the GP would call me between 14:30-15:30 to discuss the meds. But my back was sore, and I could not properly relax on the couch.
So, we went to bed, where I watched some series on my tablet, and I wrote an email to a sweet friend. The GP called at 14:43, we had a good little talk, and meds were being continued, and we scheduled another phone consultation for next week. After the call, I was so very tired… I put away the tablet, and go my Kobo. I got comfy, as much as I could, and before I knew it, I had joined Koa in the land of snooze.
Koa woke me up twice during the night. But, he did his things properly, and we quickly went back to bed after both times. When he woke me up again, I felt like it was a bit too early still. But, then I checked the time, and it was a lot later than I thought! So, I got up, and Koa and I started our routine to begin our new “day”. According to my watch, I had slept about 8 hours in total, and that was just awesome, as I really needed it. I also had an email to pick up the new meds, so yay for that as well. Hopefully, this was the start of a good day to come…
Thanks to all for your kindness and support during my "journey through daily life" :bear_love: I really appreciate it :bear_hugs: as it helps me to keep going on bad/harder days! :bear_nuzzle:
:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾
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CW: Nothing bad! Except my back 😉. But a >5k journal Toot, so a CW to save some folks from scrolling too long... 😇
#Journal of a slightly tired Dutch AuDHD Pixy :pixy_party: (Tuesday, 07/07/2026).
We had gone to bed earlier than we planned, due to the puppy class being canceled. When I woke up for the loo, I had gotten less than 4 hours of sleep. But, I was in pain, as it was time to take my meds. I had taken a short working one before bed, because I knew the long one would “run out” during the night. So, I guess when the short one ran out as well, it woke me up and “told” me it was time to get up, start my “day”, and quickly take my meds.
I dressed, took my meds, fed Koa, and then, I headed to the couch with my laptop. Koa was still tired, heck, I was too, and he quickly dozed off next to me. Which was so sweet and all, as he was snoozing again with his cute giraffe plushies. I started working on my email to my sweet friend. My friend had shared a beautiful picture with it, which I “abused” with some AI to make some lovely edits of it. I sent them to my friend with my reply, hoping he would love them.
When I was done with the email, I started writing my journal toot. I uploaded it to all the usual places, and then I put my laptop away. Koa and I went for a short walk. And then we relaxed for a while with some telly, and some scrolling through the Fediverse.
When it was getting light, Koa and I went out for another walk. I fed him when we got back. After which, Koa went into his crate for a while, so I could go upstairs and ride my bike for a bit. I managed to ride for ten minutes. I got back, and relaxed some more. Then, bestie called me on her way to work. We had a nice chat. When she arrived at work, we hung up, and I took Koa for another short walk.
As I was tired, I tried to relax for a while. I did my stretching exercise, and I watched some more telly. The worker came to service my ventilation system. And, as expected, he didn’t have the right filters… While they are so disgusting, that I really need new ones. It’s been such a hassle with that company. They installed the systems here, and somehow, every time they come here to service the installation (well, they never really service anything, they just swap out the filters), they have the wrong filters with them. And, every time they have the excuse that there are so many filters available, that it’s hard to know which ones to bring…
What a load of BS… They installed the systems in our homes of the rental coop project. They have been “servicing” them for over two years now. How come they still “don’t know” which filters are needed for this project??? I mean, they have a contract with the rental coop, they have all the stats of the systems, as the rental coop pays for it… And still, the frak it up every time! I feel they do it on purpose… Because now, someone will have to come again, to switch the filters. So, instead of being able to send one bill for the “work”, they now can send two! But I am getting to tired of it all, because they should have already switched the filters a month ago, and they expect you to be home “between 8-13”, so you can’t do anything for a whole day, not until they have come and gone again. Ugh…
So yeah, I am still dealing with the disgusting filters, and I need to be home again, for someone to come again… But, at least he came early, so I could relax a bit after that. I fixed some food, and then walked with Koa again. Mum texted that she was on her way to us, so that was nice. When she arrived, we chatted a bit, and I got her comfortable to get through the hours while I was gone. Koa had his snuffle mat, and then he relaxed, and I headed to the physio.
I remembered to take the highway, and the long way round, as other roads were closed due to construction. I waited till it was my turn, and then, my physio checked me out. He said I was doing slightly better, and he was pleased with the little progress that was made. We still have a long way to go, but still, there is some more movement, and some less pain (of course I have better meds now as well).
After the PT, I drove back home. I had a pit stop at the supermarket, where I got some food, as I was really running low on it. When I got back home, Koa was very glad to see me again. I chatted a bit with mum, and then she headed back home again. I relaxed for a while, and then I got things ready to head to bed. Not to sleep just yet, as the GP would call me between 14:30-15:30 to discuss the meds. But my back was sore, and I could not properly relax on the couch.
So, we went to bed, where I watched some series on my tablet, and I wrote an email to a sweet friend. The GP called at 14:43, we had a good little talk, and meds were being continued, and we scheduled another phone consultation for next week. After the call, I was so very tired… I put away the tablet, and go my Kobo. I got comfy, as much as I could, and before I knew it, I had joined Koa in the land of snooze.
Koa woke me up twice during the night. But, he did his things properly, and we quickly went back to bed after both times. When he woke me up again, I felt like it was a bit too early still. But, then I checked the time, and it was a lot later than I thought! So, I got up, and Koa and I started our routine to begin our new “day”. According to my watch, I had slept about 8 hours in total, and that was just awesome, as I really needed it. I also had an email to pick up the new meds, so yay for that as well. Hopefully, this was the start of a good day to come…
Thanks to all for your kindness and support during my "journey through daily life" :bear_love: I really appreciate it :bear_hugs: as it helps me to keep going on bad/harder days! :bear_nuzzle:
:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾
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CW: Nothing too bad, except my disappointment and pain... But a rather long journal Toot, so a CW to save some people from scrolling for ages... 😉
#Journal of a very disappointed Dutch AuDHD Pixy :pixy_party: (Monday, 06/07/2026).
I had an OK enough night, although more sleep would have been very welcome. But, it is as it is, and we got up to start our “day”. I got to the scale, dressed, fixed Koa’s meal, and I took my meds. I got to the couch, where I grabbed my laptop, and started my email to my very sweet friend. While I was working on that, I was distracted. I wanted to make sure mum would get a backup service for her pictures, so that she would not have to struggle again with keeping her precious pictures safe. And, I wanted to work on the broken phone, to try and get the pictures off for mum, one way or another.
I managed to get the backup stuff working for mum, with mum doing some things herself through chat. And then I finished the email, and started writing my journal toot. In between, I tried a few things with the broken phone, and, all of a sudden, I found something that could work, even if only for a little while. I tried and tried, and after about 90 minutes, I was so happy! On my drive, I had the DCIM photo folder from mum’s phone… It was copied, and done. I was rather excited, as I had not believed that I would be lucky enough to manage it.
I finished my journal toot, and uploaded it to the usual places. Then, I made a few backups of the pictures I just managed to save from the phone. I was so happy, and I was hoping that my parents would be happy too…
When I was done with the journal toot and phone, I made some brekkie. After that, Koa and I had a short walk. We got back, and relaxed on the couch for a while with some telly. I tried to take it easy, as I was still rather tired, and today would be a long day. After a while, I walked with Koa again, so he could get his sniffs in and all that.
On the way to work, bestie called me again, and we had a nice chat. I walked with Koa after that, as he barked at the door, which is usually an indicator that he needs to go out (although it’s not always a real indication that he needs a pee or poop, but I can’t ignore it, if I don’t want any smelly surprises near the door…).
When we got back, I tried to relax for a while. I had remembered that my couch would be coming this morning, so I could not try to get a nap. But some relaxing happened, which was nice. I walked Koa again, shortly before my coach was said to arrive. And, when she came, we had a long chat about many things. It was hard to talk about some things, as it’s all so personal, and direct. I know it’s important to talk about all these things, as we need to see where I can gain the most from their support. But, when she left, I was very much drained.
I walked Koa again, and then we tried to relax for a bit again. We went to bed for a short while, and I even managed to catch some sleep, which was very welcome. Around 13, I got up again, made Koa some food, and took him out for a little walk. We were watching some telly, when my neighbor came knocking on my door. She brought something back, which she borrowed a while ago, and we chatted for a while. When she left, Koa and I got ready to head to Nijmegen.
We arrived in Nijmegen safe and sound. Mum was out for a bit, so it was just dad and me, and the dogs of course. Instead of getting a nice greeting and a thank you for the work on the pictures, dad was nagging at me that “he didn’t need all these pictures, he only wanted the ones from 2026”. So, instead of thanking me for the work, and being grateful that he was now able to copy the pics he needed to his HD, he nagged at me because I had uploaded all the pictures in the folder… I can never do anything right by him, there is never any gratefulness, and I was getting so angry (and hurt/disappointed).
Unfortunately, it took a while before mum got back, and my mood wasn't improving at all. When mum was back, and we took the dogs out for a walk, Koa was not on his best behavior, which ended up hurting me some more. So, I got more upset, due to the added pain. Mum wasn’t helping much either, as instead of some gratitude from her, I also had to hear on things that she found annoying ad all… I could not seem to win with them today (can I ever?).
Where I had been so excited, after I had been able to recover the pictures, I was now so disappointed as they didn’t seem grateful and appreciative at all. I worked hard on this, and it seemed to be part of my duties or something, not anything to be positive about...
So now, I was in more pain, especially since Koa grabbed my bad hand when he was doing his best not to listen to me, and it hurt like hell. And I was disappointed and angry. I had no motivation to go to the puppy class, as I think it’s just a waste of money… Puppy class is another place where I can be ignored by someone else, which I even paid for… All the pups get chosen again and again for the exercises, except for Koa. And I know he doesn’t see it that way, but it hurts me, because I feel he should be getting some of that attention as well. He is a good boy, even though I call him an asshat at times, especially when he hurts me, and when he’s disrupted my night yet again…
Mum and I got to the class, where I almost hit the door, because it didn’t automatically open. We waited for a while, and I was just so grumpy due to all that had happened… When someone came up to us, informing us the teacher was stuck in bad traffic, and not able to make it… I felt relief… I should have been feeling bummed, but nope… I was struggling with my pain and emotions so much, that I was happy that Koa and I could just head home, and get to bed.
So, we headed home, where I almost hit a female pheasant that decided to cross the street… Fortunately, the person behind me had been paying attention as well, so when I braked to not hit the silly bird, they didn’t hit me… We got home, I took my meds, prepped everything, and Koa and I went to bed. It didn’t take too long for Koa to doze off. And, when my meds kicked in, I was able to doze off too.
After about 4 hours I woke up again for the loo. I needed my new painkillers, and Koa needed food, so we both got up to start our “day”. Hopefully I can relax a bit during the morning, so I can get to physio safe and sound (and hopefully mum is OK with being with Koa a little longer, so I can get some very much needed groceries). Hey ho, let’s do this!
Thanks to all for your kindness and support during my "journey through daily life" :bear_love: I really appreciate it :bear_hugs: as it helps me to keep going on bad/harder days! :bear_nuzzle:
:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾
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CW: Nothing too bad, except my disappointment and pain... But a rather long journal Toot, so a CW to save some people from scrolling for ages... 😉
#Journal of a very disappointed Dutch AuDHD Pixy :pixy_party: (Monday, 06/07/2026).
I had an OK enough night, although more sleep would have been very welcome. But, it is as it is, and we got up to start our “day”. I got to the scale, dressed, fixed Koa’s meal, and I took my meds. I got to the couch, where I grabbed my laptop, and started my email to my very sweet friend. While I was working on that, I was distracted. I wanted to make sure mum would get a backup service for her pictures, so that she would not have to struggle again with keeping her precious pictures safe. And, I wanted to work on the broken phone, to try and get the pictures off for mum, one way or another.
I managed to get the backup stuff working for mum, with mum doing some things herself through chat. And then I finished the email, and started writing my journal toot. In between, I tried a few things with the broken phone, and, all of a sudden, I found something that could work, even if only for a little while. I tried and tried, and after about 90 minutes, I was so happy! On my drive, I had the DCIM photo folder from mum’s phone… It was copied, and done. I was rather excited, as I had not believed that I would be lucky enough to manage it.
I finished my journal toot, and uploaded it to the usual places. Then, I made a few backups of the pictures I just managed to save from the phone. I was so happy, and I was hoping that my parents would be happy too…
When I was done with the journal toot and phone, I made some brekkie. After that, Koa and I had a short walk. We got back, and relaxed on the couch for a while with some telly. I tried to take it easy, as I was still rather tired, and today would be a long day. After a while, I walked with Koa again, so he could get his sniffs in and all that.
On the way to work, bestie called me again, and we had a nice chat. I walked with Koa after that, as he barked at the door, which is usually an indicator that he needs to go out (although it’s not always a real indication that he needs a pee or poop, but I can’t ignore it, if I don’t want any smelly surprises near the door…).
When we got back, I tried to relax for a while. I had remembered that my couch would be coming this morning, so I could not try to get a nap. But some relaxing happened, which was nice. I walked Koa again, shortly before my coach was said to arrive. And, when she came, we had a long chat about many things. It was hard to talk about some things, as it’s all so personal, and direct. I know it’s important to talk about all these things, as we need to see where I can gain the most from their support. But, when she left, I was very much drained.
I walked Koa again, and then we tried to relax for a bit again. We went to bed for a short while, and I even managed to catch some sleep, which was very welcome. Around 13, I got up again, made Koa some food, and took him out for a little walk. We were watching some telly, when my neighbor came knocking on my door. She brought something back, which she borrowed a while ago, and we chatted for a while. When she left, Koa and I got ready to head to Nijmegen.
We arrived in Nijmegen safe and sound. Mum was out for a bit, so it was just dad and me, and the dogs of course. Instead of getting a nice greeting and a thank you for the work on the pictures, dad was nagging at me that “he didn’t need all these pictures, he only wanted the ones from 2026”. So, instead of thanking me for the work, and being grateful that he was now able to copy the pics he needed to his HD, he nagged at me because I had uploaded all the pictures in the folder… I can never do anything right by him, there is never any gratefulness, and I was getting so angry (and hurt/disappointed).
Unfortunately, it took a while before mum got back, and my mood wasn't improving at all. When mum was back, and we took the dogs out for a walk, Koa was not on his best behavior, which ended up hurting me some more. So, I got more upset, due to the added pain. Mum wasn’t helping much either, as instead of some gratitude from her, I also had to hear on things that she found annoying ad all… I could not seem to win with them today (can I ever?).
Where I had been so excited, after I had been able to recover the pictures, I was now so disappointed as they didn’t seem grateful and appreciative at all. I worked hard on this, and it seemed to be part of my duties or something, not anything to be positive about...
So now, I was in more pain, especially since Koa grabbed my bad hand when he was doing his best not to listen to me, and it hurt like hell. And I was disappointed and angry. I had no motivation to go to the puppy class, as I think it’s just a waste of money… Puppy class is another place where I can be ignored by someone else, which I even paid for… All the pups get chosen again and again for the exercises, except for Koa. And I know he doesn’t see it that way, but it hurts me, because I feel he should be getting some of that attention as well. He is a good boy, even though I call him an asshat at times, especially when he hurts me, and when he’s disrupted my night yet again…
Mum and I got to the class, where I almost hit the door, because it didn’t automatically open. We waited for a while, and I was just so grumpy due to all that had happened… When someone came up to us, informing us the teacher was stuck in bad traffic, and not able to make it… I felt relief… I should have been feeling bummed, but nope… I was struggling with my pain and emotions so much, that I was happy that Koa and I could just head home, and get to bed.
So, we headed home, where I almost hit a female pheasant that decided to cross the street… Fortunately, the person behind me had been paying attention as well, so when I braked to not hit the silly bird, they didn’t hit me… We got home, I took my meds, prepped everything, and Koa and I went to bed. It didn’t take too long for Koa to doze off. And, when my meds kicked in, I was able to doze off too.
After about 4 hours I woke up again for the loo. I needed my new painkillers, and Koa needed food, so we both got up to start our “day”. Hopefully I can relax a bit during the morning, so I can get to physio safe and sound (and hopefully mum is OK with being with Koa a little longer, so I can get some very much needed groceries). Hey ho, let’s do this!
Thanks to all for your kindness and support during my "journey through daily life" :bear_love: I really appreciate it :bear_hugs: as it helps me to keep going on bad/harder days! :bear_nuzzle:
:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾
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#Journal of a slightly busy Dutch AuDHD Pixy :pixy_party: (Sunday, 05/07/2026).
I didn’t have the best night, as it took some time to get comfortable enough to fall asleep, and Koa woke me up several times for potty breaks… So when he woke me up again, I understood he had been in the crate long enough, and we got up to start our “day”. I got dressed, took my meds, and prepared Koa’s meal. After that, we got to the couch, where I grabbed my laptop to start my usual “couch routine”.
I wrote a long email to my sweet friend. Followed by the writing of my journal toot. When it was done, I uploaded it to all the usual places. Koa wanted out for walkies, so we went for a short round. When we got back, I got back to the couch for some relaxing. I watched a bit of telly, and I scrolled on my phone. I wrote a bit for my blog as well. Basically, I tried to relax as much as I could, as the previous two days had worn me out quite a bit.
After a while, Koa and I went out for another short walk. Then, I headed upstairs. First, I rode my bike on the lowest, slowest, setting for 15 minutes. When I was done, I folded the dry laundry, and took it downstairs with me. I wanted to relax a bit on the couch, before putting away the clothes and such. But, before I was ready with my relaxing, Koa already wanted some attention.
I wonder at times, how much he is training and testing me, with his barking to go out. If I ignore it, it could be that he did have to go, and he’ll “reward me” with something to clean up. But, maybe he knows that a bark will get him out, whether he needs a pee/poop or not… So, he barks, and I respond. Even when I feel like he is testing/trying me, I still don’t want to be wrong, and end up needing to clean a smelly mess…
Koa and I got back from walkies. I made him his food, and then I made some for myself as well. We relaxed a bit, and I got my little vacuum cleaner, so I could vacuum the downstairs area a bit easier than with the big one. The small one isn't as good, but still, it was better than not vacuuming at all. When I was done, Koa and I relaxed for a while.
Mum had texted me the previous day, that she’d be with us between 10-10:30. So, a bit before ten, Koa and I went out for a walk again. And then, I watched some telly, while waiting for mum. When it was 10:32, I got a text that mum was coming… Unfortunately, she meant she was just leaving their home, which meant that I had been waiting for half an hour for nothing… And I would have to wait a little longer as well. I walked Koa again, and then I crated him, so I could do my stretching exercise while waiting for mum.
Mum finally came, Koa got all excited, and he managed to “hug” mum a bit too enthusiastically, so I got mum a bandage. I got out my laptop, as I wanted to work on mum’s old phone. But, that one wasn’t interested in working at all. So, we focused on the new phone, to get everything installed and working. We worked on it for about 90 minutes. Then, we took Koa out for a little walk. When we got back, Koa was too excited with mum again, so bandage number 2 was needed. Mum does bleed rather quickly and easily though… When Koa relaxed a bit, I gave him a new plush toy that I had waiting for him: a new Ikea Giraffe (the small one). Koa was all excited about it, and he dragged it along with him, which looked rather silly.
We finished working on mum’s new phone. The old one still was a no-go, so it would stay with me, so I could try it some more. Koa had his meal, and then mum got ready to head back home. We got to their car, so I could connect the phone to the car’s Bluetooth system. Then, I went back to Koa, who was barking in the garden, all abandoned and alone, the poor thing. Mum went home, and Koa and I got ready to head to bed. I was very tired, after all the little walks with Koa, and being busy with mum’s phone for about two hours.
It didn’t take too long for Koa to doze off, and I was hoping that I could join him soon. I needed an extra painkiller, as my body would not let me get comfortable enough to relax. After a while, the meds started to work, and I felt myself get so tired. So, I dozed off for a while. Koa let me sleep for several hours, which felt good. We went out, he did his things, and we got back to sleep for about 2 more hours. I didn’t get as much sleep as I hoped for, according to my watch, it was a little less than 6 hours in total. But, some of the sleep I did get, was rather nice. We got up a bit earlier than I hoped, and we started our “day”.
Thanks to all for your kindness and support during my "journey through daily life" :bear_love: I really appreciate it :bear_hugs: as it helps me to keep going on bad/harder days! :bear_nuzzle:
:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾
-
#Journal of a slightly busy Dutch AuDHD Pixy :pixy_party: (Sunday, 05/07/2026).
I didn’t have the best night, as it took some time to get comfortable enough to fall asleep, and Koa woke me up several times for potty breaks… So when he woke me up again, I understood he had been in the crate long enough, and we got up to start our “day”. I got dressed, took my meds, and prepared Koa’s meal. After that, we got to the couch, where I grabbed my laptop to start my usual “couch routine”.
I wrote a long email to my sweet friend. Followed by the writing of my journal toot. When it was done, I uploaded it to all the usual places. Koa wanted out for walkies, so we went for a short round. When we got back, I got back to the couch for some relaxing. I watched a bit of telly, and I scrolled on my phone. I wrote a bit for my blog as well. Basically, I tried to relax as much as I could, as the previous two days had worn me out quite a bit.
After a while, Koa and I went out for another short walk. Then, I headed upstairs. First, I rode my bike on the lowest, slowest, setting for 15 minutes. When I was done, I folded the dry laundry, and took it downstairs with me. I wanted to relax a bit on the couch, before putting away the clothes and such. But, before I was ready with my relaxing, Koa already wanted some attention.
I wonder at times, how much he is training and testing me, with his barking to go out. If I ignore it, it could be that he did have to go, and he’ll “reward me” with something to clean up. But, maybe he knows that a bark will get him out, whether he needs a pee/poop or not… So, he barks, and I respond. Even when I feel like he is testing/trying me, I still don’t want to be wrong, and end up needing to clean a smelly mess…
Koa and I got back from walkies. I made him his food, and then I made some for myself as well. We relaxed a bit, and I got my little vacuum cleaner, so I could vacuum the downstairs area a bit easier than with the big one. The small one isn't as good, but still, it was better than not vacuuming at all. When I was done, Koa and I relaxed for a while.
Mum had texted me the previous day, that she’d be with us between 10-10:30. So, a bit before ten, Koa and I went out for a walk again. And then, I watched some telly, while waiting for mum. When it was 10:32, I got a text that mum was coming… Unfortunately, she meant she was just leaving their home, which meant that I had been waiting for half an hour for nothing… And I would have to wait a little longer as well. I walked Koa again, and then I crated him, so I could do my stretching exercise while waiting for mum.
Mum finally came, Koa got all excited, and he managed to “hug” mum a bit too enthusiastically, so I got mum a bandage. I got out my laptop, as I wanted to work on mum’s old phone. But, that one wasn’t interested in working at all. So, we focused on the new phone, to get everything installed and working. We worked on it for about 90 minutes. Then, we took Koa out for a little walk. When we got back, Koa was too excited with mum again, so bandage number 2 was needed. Mum does bleed rather quickly and easily though… When Koa relaxed a bit, I gave him a new plush toy that I had waiting for him: a new Ikea Giraffe (the small one). Koa was all excited about it, and he dragged it along with him, which looked rather silly.
We finished working on mum’s new phone. The old one still was a no-go, so it would stay with me, so I could try it some more. Koa had his meal, and then mum got ready to head back home. We got to their car, so I could connect the phone to the car’s Bluetooth system. Then, I went back to Koa, who was barking in the garden, all abandoned and alone, the poor thing. Mum went home, and Koa and I got ready to head to bed. I was very tired, after all the little walks with Koa, and being busy with mum’s phone for about two hours.
It didn’t take too long for Koa to doze off, and I was hoping that I could join him soon. I needed an extra painkiller, as my body would not let me get comfortable enough to relax. After a while, the meds started to work, and I felt myself get so tired. So, I dozed off for a while. Koa let me sleep for several hours, which felt good. We went out, he did his things, and we got back to sleep for about 2 more hours. I didn’t get as much sleep as I hoped for, according to my watch, it was a little less than 6 hours in total. But, some of the sleep I did get, was rather nice. We got up a bit earlier than I hoped, and we started our “day”.
Thanks to all for your kindness and support during my "journey through daily life" :bear_love: I really appreciate it :bear_hugs: as it helps me to keep going on bad/harder days! :bear_nuzzle:
:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾
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:kirby_prideheart: Ello sweet and lovely Friendos :purple_heart_sparkle:
#GoodMorning (almost? 🤔) and #TZAG everyone :kirby_star2:
Tried to cuddle with Koa...
He would not properly relax, and kept using his teefs...
I don't mind some nibbling, as it's part of his age and all.
But the constant attacks, they can hurt, and I don't need that all of the time... 😔And I don't know what's happening somewhere... But even with the insulated windows and doors closed, I keep on hearing a droning noise, like the bass of some distant music... It's almost 4 am, and I heard it since I got up around 22:15. I thought it would end, with sound regulations and such for events noise in neighborhoods... But it just keeps on going, and it's driving me nuts!
My AuDHD can't filter it, and even with the TV on, it still is too present for me to ignore...
I wonder if more people hear this annoying noise, or if it's my "special" AuDHD ability, of being way too sensitive for sounds like these... (and not being able to filter/ignore). The only thing that could help, would be me wearing my NC buds or headphones. But I am in my properly insulated home, while it's 4am... I should not be bothered by the noise! This should be my quiet AuDHD time... :blobcatcomfnight:
Ugh... Well, at least I got some good news tonight, about the refund from the electricity company... And being able to use those funds to get some more work done in my back garden... 🍀
Hope you're all having a (relaxing) time... And I hope the stupid droning noise will frak off sooner rather than later... I've had enough of it... 😔
Thanks to all for your kindness and support during my "journey through daily life" :bear_love: I really appreciate it :bear_hugs: as it helps me to keep going on bad/harder days! :bear_nuzzle:
:pixy_party: 🫂 🩵 💜 🩷 🐾 :dogeparrot:
Edit: saw a typo/bad auto correct...
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:kirby_prideheart: Ello sweet and lovely Friendos :purple_heart_sparkle:
#GoodMorning (almost? 🤔) and #TZAG everyone :kirby_star2:
Tried to cuddle with Koa...
He would not properly relax, and kept using his teefs...
I don't mind some nibbling, as it's part of his age and all.
But the constant attacks, they can hurt, and I don't need that all of the time... 😔And I don't know what's happening somewhere... But even with the insulated windows and doors closed, I keep on hearing a droning noise, like the bass of some distant music... It's almost 4 am, and I heard it since I got up around 22:15. I thought it would end, with sound regulations and such for events noise in neighborhoods... But it just keeps on going, and it's driving me nuts!
My AuDHD can't filter it, and even with the TV on, it still is too present for me to ignore...
I wonder if more people hear this annoying noise, or if it's my "special" AuDHD ability, of being way too sensitive for sounds like these... (and not being able to filter/ignore). The only thing that could help, would be me wearing my NC buds or headphones. But I am in my properly insulated home, while it's 4am... I should not be bothered by the noise! This should be my quiet AuDHD time... :blobcatcomfnight:
Ugh... Well, at least I got some good news tonight, about the refund from the electricity company... And being able to use those funds to get some more work done in my back garden... 🍀
Hope you're all having a (relaxing) time... And I hope the stupid droning noise will frak off sooner rather than later... I've had enough of it... 😔
Thanks to all for your kindness and support during my "journey through daily life" :bear_love: I really appreciate it :bear_hugs: as it helps me to keep going on bad/harder days! :bear_nuzzle:
:pixy_party: 🫂 🩵 💜 🩷 🐾 :dogeparrot:
Edit: saw a typo/bad auto correct...
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#Journal of a very emotional Dutch AuDHD Pixy :pixy_party: (Saturday, 04/07/2026).
I didn’t have the best night. It had taken me quite some time to finally be able to fall asleep. Koa woke me up several times, so I struggled a bit when it was time to gt up again. I used the scale, which wasn’t too bad (OK, things could be a lot better, but those are plans for the future, when my body and situation with Koa have improved), and I got dressed. Koa got his food, and I took my meds. Then, I got to the couch, and grabbed my laptop.
I wrote a long email to my sweet friend. And I shared some of my screengrabs from the visit to the Hatertse Vennen to Pixelfed. Then, I wrote my journal toot, and updated it everywhere it should go. I was feeling rather sad, so when I was done, I put away the laptop. I tried to distract myself by watching one of my favorite series some more, as I am busy on my umpteenth re-watch of Criminal Minds. I scrolled the Fediverse a bit as well. I was crying a bit, as it was a hard night, with sad memories attached to it. And then, all of a sudden, Koa came up to me, snuggled up with me, and… He lay there… No biting. No wiggling. He was just there, showing me he cared… I tried to get a selfie with him, while I was trying to hold back more tears… It didn’t last too long, but it lasted long enough for me to feel loved…
I watched more telly, had brekkie, and scrolled the Fedi some more. After some time, Koa and I went out for a short walk. I had taken an extra painkiller with brekkie, so I was able to walk Koa a bit better, which felt good. When we got back, I chatted with some sweet friends for a while. I rode my bike for a bit, and then I made some food. While I was eating, the washing machine was doing its things… I hung the stuff out to dry, and then I walked Koa again.
We got back home, and I tried to relax a bit with some gaming. But, I struggled with my concentration, so after some time, I switched back to watching Criminal Minds again. Then, I ordered some new photo prints, so I can add them to the old skool books again soon. I still have to finish my document with all the dates, so that dad can hopefully print them, and I can add them to the books.
Koa and I went for another walk, and then we tried to just let the day pass by. My back and leg were slowly acting up a bit again, well, a bit more I should say. I was getting tired, and I felt so drained. So, a bit earlier than usual, we got ready to head to bed. Not just to sleep, but to lay down properly, and be able to relax a bit better than I could on the couch.
After a little while, Koa dozed off, and I tried to… But there were folks on the other side of the grassy area behind the house working on their garden. And… They had music on… Ever since the morning, when they started, I heard the droning of the bass come through the house. And, even with the window closed, it still came into my bedroom. Which drove me nuts, as I wasn’t able to filter it out, even with the sound of my tablet streaming Criminal Minds…
I got my Kobo in the end, and after some time, I was so exhausted, that I finally dozed off. Of course I woke up again shortly, to visit the loo. Koa slept some more, which was nice. He had to go out a few hours later. We slept some more, and then he woke me up again. It was still early, but I understood him being done with the crate, as we’d gone to bed earlier due to me not feeling too good. So… We got up a bit early, and we started our “day”.
Thanks to all for your kindness and support during my "journey through daily life" :bear_love: I really appreciate it :bear_hugs: as it helps me to keep going on bad/harder days! :bear_nuzzle:
:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾
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#Journal of a very emotional Dutch AuDHD Pixy :pixy_party: (Saturday, 04/07/2026).
I didn’t have the best night. It had taken me quite some time to finally be able to fall asleep. Koa woke me up several times, so I struggled a bit when it was time to gt up again. I used the scale, which wasn’t too bad (OK, things could be a lot better, but those are plans for the future, when my body and situation with Koa have improved), and I got dressed. Koa got his food, and I took my meds. Then, I got to the couch, and grabbed my laptop.
I wrote a long email to my sweet friend. And I shared some of my screengrabs from the visit to the Hatertse Vennen to Pixelfed. Then, I wrote my journal toot, and updated it everywhere it should go. I was feeling rather sad, so when I was done, I put away the laptop. I tried to distract myself by watching one of my favorite series some more, as I am busy on my umpteenth re-watch of Criminal Minds. I scrolled the Fediverse a bit as well. I was crying a bit, as it was a hard night, with sad memories attached to it. And then, all of a sudden, Koa came up to me, snuggled up with me, and… He lay there… No biting. No wiggling. He was just there, showing me he cared… I tried to get a selfie with him, while I was trying to hold back more tears… It didn’t last too long, but it lasted long enough for me to feel loved…
I watched more telly, had brekkie, and scrolled the Fedi some more. After some time, Koa and I went out for a short walk. I had taken an extra painkiller with brekkie, so I was able to walk Koa a bit better, which felt good. When we got back, I chatted with some sweet friends for a while. I rode my bike for a bit, and then I made some food. While I was eating, the washing machine was doing its things… I hung the stuff out to dry, and then I walked Koa again.
We got back home, and I tried to relax a bit with some gaming. But, I struggled with my concentration, so after some time, I switched back to watching Criminal Minds again. Then, I ordered some new photo prints, so I can add them to the old skool books again soon. I still have to finish my document with all the dates, so that dad can hopefully print them, and I can add them to the books.
Koa and I went for another walk, and then we tried to just let the day pass by. My back and leg were slowly acting up a bit again, well, a bit more I should say. I was getting tired, and I felt so drained. So, a bit earlier than usual, we got ready to head to bed. Not just to sleep, but to lay down properly, and be able to relax a bit better than I could on the couch.
After a little while, Koa dozed off, and I tried to… But there were folks on the other side of the grassy area behind the house working on their garden. And… They had music on… Ever since the morning, when they started, I heard the droning of the bass come through the house. And, even with the window closed, it still came into my bedroom. Which drove me nuts, as I wasn’t able to filter it out, even with the sound of my tablet streaming Criminal Minds…
I got my Kobo in the end, and after some time, I was so exhausted, that I finally dozed off. Of course I woke up again shortly, to visit the loo. Koa slept some more, which was nice. He had to go out a few hours later. We slept some more, and then he woke me up again. It was still early, but I understood him being done with the crate, as we’d gone to bed earlier due to me not feeling too good. So… We got up a bit early, and we started our “day”.
Thanks to all for your kindness and support during my "journey through daily life" :bear_love: I really appreciate it :bear_hugs: as it helps me to keep going on bad/harder days! :bear_nuzzle:
:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾
-
CW: Nothing bad really, just a longer journal Toot 😇
#Journal of a slightly more excited Dutch AuDHD Pixy :pixy_party: (Friday, 03/07/2026)
I didn’t have the best night, unfortunately. It took a while for me to settle down, and then Koa was a bit restless, so he woke me up several times… But, when we got up, I was allowed to take more meds, so I was hopeful that it would help me to get through the day a bit better… I got dressed, fixed Koa’s meal, and then I took my meds. Fingers crossed that they would do the trick.
I got to the couch, grabbed my laptop, and started my email to my sweet friend. When I was done, I wrote my journal toot. It got uploaded to all the usual bits, and then I could put the laptop away. I had brekkie, and then I took Koa out for a little walk. We ended up walking a bit further, and Koa seemed to enjoy it, which made me quite happy. It was a bit hard for me to walk a longer route, but I took it slowly, and let Koa sniff a bit more when he wanted to, and it went well enough.
When we got back, I did have to rest for a while, which I did with some telly. After some relaxing, I fixed Koa’s meal. Then, I headed upstairs, and I rode the bike for 10 minutes. Koa relaxed in his crate while I was riding, and he didn’t even whine once. He just snoozed while I was upstairs, doing “my thing”. I got back down, and Koa and I went on another walk. We managed a longer walk again, although not as far as Koa would have liked. But, we went halfway, so he got part of the walk in, at least.
We got back again, and I needed to do my stretching exercise for a bit. I watched some telly, worked a bit on my blog posts, and then, it was time to fix my meal. Mum had emailed me that she was ready, so after the meal, we got everything to Skoosh, went to the grassy field, and then drove off to Nijmegen.
I filled up Skoosh on the way to my parents. We arrived safe and sound, and I set up Koa’s crate. When mum was ready, we headed to the stores. The first one was closed, so we’d head to the other one first. A very kind gentleman helped mum and me. And, he said the same things about the old phone and trying to get it repaired... So I am glad that a total stranger voiced the exact same thing (without me prompting it) about that, as it showed mum that it wasn't just me being "difficult" about it. He asked me which phones we may be interested in, so I told him I found two that could suit her needs, but that it could be helpful if mum could check them out with him in the store. The gentleman explained the biggest difference, the cameras, and that this was the difference in price as well. Mum looked at me, and I told her that, if she liked the expensive one better (the gentleman and mum had tested both cameras on the phones, so she could see the differences herself), then that's the one we'd take. If dad was difficult about the costs, then I would try to skip in the difference for the more expensive one, as I was the one who told her to take it... They had a case with it that she preferred, so we made everything in order, and mum got her new phone.
She chose the Samsung Galaxy S25FE. It's the cheapest S25, but it is a good enough phone for mum's needs and wants. She will have to sort out her pictures, as I always gave her phones with bigger storage. But this one "only" has 128GB, which should be enough for mum, but she may need to start sorting out her pictures (and delete old ones). But, at least she has a good phone now, that should last her for several years to come…
We went back to the car, and mum headed to the other shop. I waited for her in the car, and she did her things. Then, we got back home, and I started working on the phone, while mum had a coffee. When the phone had gone through the initial things, mum and I took the dogs to the Hatertse Vennen. Finally, Koa would have the chance for his first “natural water” adventure.
We walked through the woods, which was a bit of a challenge for my back. I had taken an extra painkiller while I was working on the phone, so that it could hopefully help me with this walk with Koa. We got to the waterside, and mum unleashed Bas. He immediately went to the smelliest part of the waterside, and did his thing! I was glad that Koa could not follow all the way. I tried to get some videos of Koa, and when mum had fixed the long leash, we hoped he would dive in for a swim. His GPS and light are both water-resistant, so he was allowed to splash as much as he wanted to. But he seemed more interested in following Bas around, and sniffing other dogs when he saw them.
Still, I think he had a good enough time, and after a while, we went back to the car. I tried to dry off Koa, and mum had smelly Bas to deal with. We headed back to my parent’s home. I tried to help mum some more with her phone. And when she was set to do the rest herself, she helped me to clean Koa’s ears. They really needed a clean, but I wasn’t able to do it by myself, as Koa really hates me putting my finger with a tissue in his ear. Let alone, to let me do it twice… When that was done, I got his crate, and mum got the groceries, and we headed to Skoosh.
Koa and I went back home, where I quickly fed him, as he must have been quite hungry. I cleaned up all the groceries, took my meds, and got ready to head to bed. It took me some time to doze off, and Koa woke me up a few times as well. When I woke up again, it was time to get up, and take my meds. I had only slept for about 6¼ hours in total. But, I needed my meds, Koa needed his food, so it was time to get up, and start our “day”.
Thanks to all for your kindness and support during my "journey through daily life" :bear_love: I really appreciate it :bear_hugs: as it helps me to keep going on bad/harder days! :bear_nuzzle:
:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾
-
CW: Nothing bad really, just a longer journal Toot 😇
#Journal of a slightly more excited Dutch AuDHD Pixy :pixy_party: (Friday, 03/07/2026)
I didn’t have the best night, unfortunately. It took a while for me to settle down, and then Koa was a bit restless, so he woke me up several times… But, when we got up, I was allowed to take more meds, so I was hopeful that it would help me to get through the day a bit better… I got dressed, fixed Koa’s meal, and then I took my meds. Fingers crossed that they would do the trick.
I got to the couch, grabbed my laptop, and started my email to my sweet friend. When I was done, I wrote my journal toot. It got uploaded to all the usual bits, and then I could put the laptop away. I had brekkie, and then I took Koa out for a little walk. We ended up walking a bit further, and Koa seemed to enjoy it, which made me quite happy. It was a bit hard for me to walk a longer route, but I took it slowly, and let Koa sniff a bit more when he wanted to, and it went well enough.
When we got back, I did have to rest for a while, which I did with some telly. After some relaxing, I fixed Koa’s meal. Then, I headed upstairs, and I rode the bike for 10 minutes. Koa relaxed in his crate while I was riding, and he didn’t even whine once. He just snoozed while I was upstairs, doing “my thing”. I got back down, and Koa and I went on another walk. We managed a longer walk again, although not as far as Koa would have liked. But, we went halfway, so he got part of the walk in, at least.
We got back again, and I needed to do my stretching exercise for a bit. I watched some telly, worked a bit on my blog posts, and then, it was time to fix my meal. Mum had emailed me that she was ready, so after the meal, we got everything to Skoosh, went to the grassy field, and then drove off to Nijmegen.
I filled up Skoosh on the way to my parents. We arrived safe and sound, and I set up Koa’s crate. When mum was ready, we headed to the stores. The first one was closed, so we’d head to the other one first. A very kind gentleman helped mum and me. And, he said the same things about the old phone and trying to get it repaired... So I am glad that a total stranger voiced the exact same thing (without me prompting it) about that, as it showed mum that it wasn't just me being "difficult" about it. He asked me which phones we may be interested in, so I told him I found two that could suit her needs, but that it could be helpful if mum could check them out with him in the store. The gentleman explained the biggest difference, the cameras, and that this was the difference in price as well. Mum looked at me, and I told her that, if she liked the expensive one better (the gentleman and mum had tested both cameras on the phones, so she could see the differences herself), then that's the one we'd take. If dad was difficult about the costs, then I would try to skip in the difference for the more expensive one, as I was the one who told her to take it... They had a case with it that she preferred, so we made everything in order, and mum got her new phone.
She chose the Samsung Galaxy S25FE. It's the cheapest S25, but it is a good enough phone for mum's needs and wants. She will have to sort out her pictures, as I always gave her phones with bigger storage. But this one "only" has 128GB, which should be enough for mum, but she may need to start sorting out her pictures (and delete old ones). But, at least she has a good phone now, that should last her for several years to come…
We went back to the car, and mum headed to the other shop. I waited for her in the car, and she did her things. Then, we got back home, and I started working on the phone, while mum had a coffee. When the phone had gone through the initial things, mum and I took the dogs to the Hatertse Vennen. Finally, Koa would have the chance for his first “natural water” adventure.
We walked through the woods, which was a bit of a challenge for my back. I had taken an extra painkiller while I was working on the phone, so that it could hopefully help me with this walk with Koa. We got to the waterside, and mum unleashed Bas. He immediately went to the smelliest part of the waterside, and did his thing! I was glad that Koa could not follow all the way. I tried to get some videos of Koa, and when mum had fixed the long leash, we hoped he would dive in for a swim. His GPS and light are both water-resistant, so he was allowed to splash as much as he wanted to. But he seemed more interested in following Bas around, and sniffing other dogs when he saw them.
Still, I think he had a good enough time, and after a while, we went back to the car. I tried to dry off Koa, and mum had smelly Bas to deal with. We headed back to my parent’s home. I tried to help mum some more with her phone. And when she was set to do the rest herself, she helped me to clean Koa’s ears. They really needed a clean, but I wasn’t able to do it by myself, as Koa really hates me putting my finger with a tissue in his ear. Let alone, to let me do it twice… When that was done, I got his crate, and mum got the groceries, and we headed to Skoosh.
Koa and I went back home, where I quickly fed him, as he must have been quite hungry. I cleaned up all the groceries, took my meds, and got ready to head to bed. It took me some time to doze off, and Koa woke me up a few times as well. When I woke up again, it was time to get up, and take my meds. I had only slept for about 6¼ hours in total. But, I needed my meds, Koa needed his food, so it was time to get up, and start our “day”.
Thanks to all for your kindness and support during my "journey through daily life" :bear_love: I really appreciate it :bear_hugs: as it helps me to keep going on bad/harder days! :bear_nuzzle:
:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾
-
#Journal of a slightly depressed Dutch AuDHD Pixy :pixy_party: (Thursday, 02/07/2026).
I didn’t have the best night, thanks to my brain and body being silly, and thanks to Koa being a bit more restless. But, I had to make do with it, so when Koa woke me up again, we got up to start our “day”. I cared for Koa, took my meds, and I got dressed. Then, I headed to the couch, grabbed my laptop, and I started an email to my dear friend. I got a bit distracted with trying to find out some things for my mum in between writing the email. When I was done with the thing for mum, and the email was finished as well, I got to writing my journal toot. After uploading it to all the places, I put away the laptop, and I tried to relax a bit with some telly.
I fixed some brekkie, and watched some more Criminal Minds. I tried to ignore my back, and Koa was being a good boy, so that was a plus as well. When it was getting light out, I took Koa to the grassy area behind the house. It was painful, but at least he got to go out for a bit. I fixed some food for myself and for Koa, and after that, we relaxed some more.
I was feeling very tired, and a bit emotional. When Koa and I headed out again, we could pick up a parcel with the neighbor. She told me about her direct neighbor’s dog passing away suddenly a few days ago. It turns out to be such a bad and sad week… The black fluff, now him, and a few days from now, Arwen’s one-year anniversary… 😢
I went online, and I ordered a sympathy card for the neighbors. Then, I tried to relax a bit again, as I was just so tired, and so sad. I had texted with my PT a bit, and he gave me permission for short, low intensity, bike rides. So, when I had relaxed a bit, I went upstairs, and I rode for ten minutes.
After some relaxing, I tried to take Koa out again. He really wanted the longer walk, and I felt so bad about not being able to walk that with him. I wanted to go the route with him, but I knew I would not be able to make it. And I felt so guilty and depressed about that. I tried to offer him a bit more of the path, but I was in too much pain to be able to continue.
We got back, and I felt sad, bad, depressed, broken… And I broke down into a big cry… I was in so much pain, that I went to bed to watch my series on my tablet there. Which made me even more depressed, because it meant locking Koa in the crate some more, and I didn’t want him to be in there too long. But, I had to lay down for a while, and try to relax my body some.
Koa settled down before I did. And after some time, I did doze off for a short while. When I woke up again, I let Koa out, and fixed his meal. I felt so guilty for crating him too much… After he finished his meal, and did some of his business in the garden, we played for a while. I sat on the edge of the bed, and we played some tug-of-war with his toy rope. It hurt me, but I could not care about that. I had to play with my boy. I had to entertain him, give him attention, show him that I love him,
While we played, I cried… Happy tears, from seeing Koa enjoy himself. And sad tears, due to the pain and depression. After a while, I got back to bed, and I watched my series some more. The GP called rather early, which was all good by me. We had a good talk, and I am allowed to take a double dosage of my meds during the daytime, to see if that could help me cope a bit better. She was glad that I was trying to do my exercises and all, and she hopes that the meds can help me to start healing better soon.
After the call, I played a bit with Koa, and I let him out again. It didn’t rain too badly now, so he was able to do both numbers one and two. We went back to bed. After a short time, Koa dozed off. I needed more time to be able to settle down. Koa woke me up soon after, and I let him out again. I was able to sleep a bit more, and then, Koa decided it was time to get up. I was still very tired, but he’d been in the crate for a while now, so I wanted to set him free again. So we started our “day”.
Thanks to all for your kindness and support during my "journey through daily life" :bear_love: I really appreciate it :bear_hugs: as it helps me to keep going on bad/harder days! :bear_nuzzle:
:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾
-
#Journal of a slightly depressed Dutch AuDHD Pixy :pixy_party: (Thursday, 02/07/2026).
I didn’t have the best night, thanks to my brain and body being silly, and thanks to Koa being a bit more restless. But, I had to make do with it, so when Koa woke me up again, we got up to start our “day”. I cared for Koa, took my meds, and I got dressed. Then, I headed to the couch, grabbed my laptop, and I started an email to my dear friend. I got a bit distracted with trying to find out some things for my mum in between writing the email. When I was done with the thing for mum, and the email was finished as well, I got to writing my journal toot. After uploading it to all the places, I put away the laptop, and I tried to relax a bit with some telly.
I fixed some brekkie, and watched some more Criminal Minds. I tried to ignore my back, and Koa was being a good boy, so that was a plus as well. When it was getting light out, I took Koa to the grassy area behind the house. It was painful, but at least he got to go out for a bit. I fixed some food for myself and for Koa, and after that, we relaxed some more.
I was feeling very tired, and a bit emotional. When Koa and I headed out again, we could pick up a parcel with the neighbor. She told me about her direct neighbor’s dog passing away suddenly a few days ago. It turns out to be such a bad and sad week… The black fluff, now him, and a few days from now, Arwen’s one-year anniversary… 😢
I went online, and I ordered a sympathy card for the neighbors. Then, I tried to relax a bit again, as I was just so tired, and so sad. I had texted with my PT a bit, and he gave me permission for short, low intensity, bike rides. So, when I had relaxed a bit, I went upstairs, and I rode for ten minutes.
After some relaxing, I tried to take Koa out again. He really wanted the longer walk, and I felt so bad about not being able to walk that with him. I wanted to go the route with him, but I knew I would not be able to make it. And I felt so guilty and depressed about that. I tried to offer him a bit more of the path, but I was in too much pain to be able to continue.
We got back, and I felt sad, bad, depressed, broken… And I broke down into a big cry… I was in so much pain, that I went to bed to watch my series on my tablet there. Which made me even more depressed, because it meant locking Koa in the crate some more, and I didn’t want him to be in there too long. But, I had to lay down for a while, and try to relax my body some.
Koa settled down before I did. And after some time, I did doze off for a short while. When I woke up again, I let Koa out, and fixed his meal. I felt so guilty for crating him too much… After he finished his meal, and did some of his business in the garden, we played for a while. I sat on the edge of the bed, and we played some tug-of-war with his toy rope. It hurt me, but I could not care about that. I had to play with my boy. I had to entertain him, give him attention, show him that I love him,
While we played, I cried… Happy tears, from seeing Koa enjoy himself. And sad tears, due to the pain and depression. After a while, I got back to bed, and I watched my series some more. The GP called rather early, which was all good by me. We had a good talk, and I am allowed to take a double dosage of my meds during the daytime, to see if that could help me cope a bit better. She was glad that I was trying to do my exercises and all, and she hopes that the meds can help me to start healing better soon.
After the call, I played a bit with Koa, and I let him out again. It didn’t rain too badly now, so he was able to do both numbers one and two. We went back to bed. After a short time, Koa dozed off. I needed more time to be able to settle down. Koa woke me up soon after, and I let him out again. I was able to sleep a bit more, and then, Koa decided it was time to get up. I was still very tired, but he’d been in the crate for a while now, so I wanted to set him free again. So we started our “day”.
Thanks to all for your kindness and support during my "journey through daily life" :bear_love: I really appreciate it :bear_hugs: as it helps me to keep going on bad/harder days! :bear_nuzzle:
:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾
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#Journal of a very grateful Dutch AuDHD Pixy :pixy_party: (Wednesday, 01/07/2026).
Koa and my meds allowed me to have a decent enough night, where I got quite some sleep, which was very welcome. When Koa woke me up, and we got up to start our “day”, I managed to use the scale, and it was rather kind to me. Not muscle wise (but I had a bandage on my thumb, so the handrail measurement may have been off due to that), but weight wise, it was a nice number to start the day with.
I dressed, gave Koa his food, and I took my meds. Then, I got to the couch, and I started on an email to my sweet friend. By the time I was done, I think I should have sent it in three separate emails, haha, it had become quite a long one! I started working on my journal toot, and when that was done, I uploaded it to all the usual places. I put away the laptop, and had my brekkie. After that, it was time to try and relax a bit.
When it was getting light out, I took Koa to the grassy area behind the house. It wasn’t easy to do, even with my meds and extra meds. The meds the GP gave me are good for snoozing, but not enough to do activities properly with. The GP will call me Thursday afternoon, so then we can discuss this, and hopefully, she can up the med for during the daytime for me…
A sweet friend came to visit me. And she helped me loads with some chores, which was just awesome. We first walked Koa together, she took Koa, and I just tried to walk. We managed the 600-meter walk, which was quite a challenge for me to finish, but I managed it. When we got back, she was so kind to get the weeds from the two gardens. It wasn't too much, thanks to the roots' fabric, but it was enough to bother me (and Koa started to eat it), and I wasn't able to pull the weeds out myself. So, she allowed me to relax from the walk, while she went to work. I did do my best to keep her hydrated, and all that. When she was done, and we'd chatted for a while, we went to the supermarket. I got a few things, which she carried... I felt so grateful, but also so guilty in a way... She came to visit me, and she ends up doing all these chores for me...
I know she offered, and I know she could have said no when I asked her to... But when I went to bed, I ordered her a little “Thank You” card, which should be delivered this Thursday or Friday. It was the least I could do for the help she'd given me.
When she went home, Koa and I relaxed for a while, as I was waiting on a parcel with some food for the dude. When it had been delivered, we got ready to head to bed early. I was just so tired… I sent that card to my friend, and I asked my neighbor if she’d be OK with accepting another parcel for me, as that company gave me a very late update, and I was just so tired… She was OK with it, so that was so good of her!
It took me quite some time to finally be able to doze off and sleep some. Unfortunately, Koa woke me up several times, not too long after each other. So, I had a shorter night, and not too much deep sleep. When he woke me up again around 22:30, he was done with being in the crate. I could not blame him, so we got up, and we started our “day”.
Thanks to all for your kindness and support during my "journey through daily life" :bear_love: I really appreciate it :bear_hugs: as it helps me to keep going on bad/harder days! :bear_nuzzle:
:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾
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#Journal of a very grateful Dutch AuDHD Pixy :pixy_party: (Wednesday, 01/07/2026).
Koa and my meds allowed me to have a decent enough night, where I got quite some sleep, which was very welcome. When Koa woke me up, and we got up to start our “day”, I managed to use the scale, and it was rather kind to me. Not muscle wise (but I had a bandage on my thumb, so the handrail measurement may have been off due to that), but weight wise, it was a nice number to start the day with.
I dressed, gave Koa his food, and I took my meds. Then, I got to the couch, and I started on an email to my sweet friend. By the time I was done, I think I should have sent it in three separate emails, haha, it had become quite a long one! I started working on my journal toot, and when that was done, I uploaded it to all the usual places. I put away the laptop, and had my brekkie. After that, it was time to try and relax a bit.
When it was getting light out, I took Koa to the grassy area behind the house. It wasn’t easy to do, even with my meds and extra meds. The meds the GP gave me are good for snoozing, but not enough to do activities properly with. The GP will call me Thursday afternoon, so then we can discuss this, and hopefully, she can up the med for during the daytime for me…
A sweet friend came to visit me. And she helped me loads with some chores, which was just awesome. We first walked Koa together, she took Koa, and I just tried to walk. We managed the 600-meter walk, which was quite a challenge for me to finish, but I managed it. When we got back, she was so kind to get the weeds from the two gardens. It wasn't too much, thanks to the roots' fabric, but it was enough to bother me (and Koa started to eat it), and I wasn't able to pull the weeds out myself. So, she allowed me to relax from the walk, while she went to work. I did do my best to keep her hydrated, and all that. When she was done, and we'd chatted for a while, we went to the supermarket. I got a few things, which she carried... I felt so grateful, but also so guilty in a way... She came to visit me, and she ends up doing all these chores for me...
I know she offered, and I know she could have said no when I asked her to... But when I went to bed, I ordered her a little “Thank You” card, which should be delivered this Thursday or Friday. It was the least I could do for the help she'd given me.
When she went home, Koa and I relaxed for a while, as I was waiting on a parcel with some food for the dude. When it had been delivered, we got ready to head to bed early. I was just so tired… I sent that card to my friend, and I asked my neighbor if she’d be OK with accepting another parcel for me, as that company gave me a very late update, and I was just so tired… She was OK with it, so that was so good of her!
It took me quite some time to finally be able to doze off and sleep some. Unfortunately, Koa woke me up several times, not too long after each other. So, I had a shorter night, and not too much deep sleep. When he woke me up again around 22:30, he was done with being in the crate. I could not blame him, so we got up, and we started our “day”.
Thanks to all for your kindness and support during my "journey through daily life" :bear_love: I really appreciate it :bear_hugs: as it helps me to keep going on bad/harder days! :bear_nuzzle:
:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾
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#Journal of a slightly saddened Dutch AuDHD Pixy :pixy_party: (Tuesday, 30/06/2026).
Thanks to the new meds, I was able to get a bit more sleep, well, as much as Koa allowed me to. When we got up, I took my other meds, and I fixed Koa’s meal. We got to the couch, and I grabbed my laptop, to work on an email for my sweet friend. When that was one, I changed my clothes. For the first time in a while, I was getting a bit chilly on the couch, and I saw that it was “only” 17 degrees outside. As I wanted to cool/air the house some more, I changed clothes, so I could keep the windows and door open.
I wrote my journal toot, uploaded it to all the right places, and then I put the laptop away. I managed to relax a bit on the couch with some telly, which was very pleasant. Then, I could take my new meds when I was having brekkie, which was very welcome as well. The new meds seem good enough for sleeping, but I felt like they didn’t help enough while I was awake and needing to “do things”. But, I only just started, so I would see how the day would go, to observe and all.
When it was light out, I tried to take Koa to the little grassy area behind the house. It was a bit of a challenge, but I think he enjoyed being out again. I feel so guilty for not being able to take him on proper walks just yet. Fingers crossed for the new meds… We relaxed for a while after that, which I really needed. It was a short walk, but with Koa pulling left and right, to get all the bunny droppings, it had caused some pain in my back and leg again. So, relaxing with some telly, after Koa had his meal.
Bestie called me while she was out, running, and we had a nice chat during the last part of her run. I was just making my meal when she called, so she got to hear me enjoy my food, haha. When she was done with the run, I took Koa to the grassy field again. Our neighbor heard us, and she came outside for a little chat. She cuddled Koa, which he loved, and it was nice to catch up, even though the topic was a hard and sad one.
We got back, and relaxed some more, before we went to physio. But this time, things didn’t go too well there, with Koa, that is… And I can’t take him with me anymore. It made me very sad, although I understood it, it also caused me pain. So, on the way back, I had to concentrate more on the road, as I was struggling with tears of sadness and pain. It’s hard to deal with a puppy, and I understand not everyone can deal with it. But yeah, sometimes, it’s the way how things are said, that hurt more than what it actually means, if that makes sense…
We got back, and I fixed Koa’s food. We relaxed for a while, and then I was just so tired and my back was so sore… I took my meds, and we went to bed. I cried some more, because I feel so guilty towards Koa… Not giving him proper walks. Not playing with him a lot. Not practicing the lessons enough. And, having to crate him a bit more/longer, because I need more bed rest. I feel like I am failing him, and it’s hard. I know it’s not really as bad as I feel it is, but that’s just me, and my idea of how I should raise my dog properly.
Koa dozed off, and I watched a series I love, until I dozed off as well. When Koa woke me, I turned off the series and tablet, and I took Koa out. He did his things, he got his snacks, and we went back to bed. He woke me up once more for potty break, and all went well again. When he woke me up again, it was time to get up and start our “day”. I managed to get some sleep, about 8 hours in total, according to my watch, so that was very nice and welcome. I got to the scale, was surprised at the numbers, and then I dressed, and prepped Koa’s meal… Hey ho, a new “day” has begun…
Thanks to all for your kindness and support during my "journey through daily life" :bear_love: I really appreciate it 💜 as it helps me to keep going on bad/harder days! :bear_nuzzle:
:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾
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#Journal of a slightly saddened Dutch AuDHD Pixy :pixy_party: (Tuesday, 30/06/2026).
Thanks to the new meds, I was able to get a bit more sleep, well, as much as Koa allowed me to. When we got up, I took my other meds, and I fixed Koa’s meal. We got to the couch, and I grabbed my laptop, to work on an email for my sweet friend. When that was one, I changed my clothes. For the first time in a while, I was getting a bit chilly on the couch, and I saw that it was “only” 17 degrees outside. As I wanted to cool/air the house some more, I changed clothes, so I could keep the windows and door open.
I wrote my journal toot, uploaded it to all the right places, and then I put the laptop away. I managed to relax a bit on the couch with some telly, which was very pleasant. Then, I could take my new meds when I was having brekkie, which was very welcome as well. The new meds seem good enough for sleeping, but I felt like they didn’t help enough while I was awake and needing to “do things”. But, I only just started, so I would see how the day would go, to observe and all.
When it was light out, I tried to take Koa to the little grassy area behind the house. It was a bit of a challenge, but I think he enjoyed being out again. I feel so guilty for not being able to take him on proper walks just yet. Fingers crossed for the new meds… We relaxed for a while after that, which I really needed. It was a short walk, but with Koa pulling left and right, to get all the bunny droppings, it had caused some pain in my back and leg again. So, relaxing with some telly, after Koa had his meal.
Bestie called me while she was out, running, and we had a nice chat during the last part of her run. I was just making my meal when she called, so she got to hear me enjoy my food, haha. When she was done with the run, I took Koa to the grassy field again. Our neighbor heard us, and she came outside for a little chat. She cuddled Koa, which he loved, and it was nice to catch up, even though the topic was a hard and sad one.
We got back, and relaxed some more, before we went to physio. But this time, things didn’t go too well there, with Koa, that is… And I can’t take him with me anymore. It made me very sad, although I understood it, it also caused me pain. So, on the way back, I had to concentrate more on the road, as I was struggling with tears of sadness and pain. It’s hard to deal with a puppy, and I understand not everyone can deal with it. But yeah, sometimes, it’s the way how things are said, that hurt more than what it actually means, if that makes sense…
We got back, and I fixed Koa’s food. We relaxed for a while, and then I was just so tired and my back was so sore… I took my meds, and we went to bed. I cried some more, because I feel so guilty towards Koa… Not giving him proper walks. Not playing with him a lot. Not practicing the lessons enough. And, having to crate him a bit more/longer, because I need more bed rest. I feel like I am failing him, and it’s hard. I know it’s not really as bad as I feel it is, but that’s just me, and my idea of how I should raise my dog properly.
Koa dozed off, and I watched a series I love, until I dozed off as well. When Koa woke me, I turned off the series and tablet, and I took Koa out. He did his things, he got his snacks, and we went back to bed. He woke me up once more for potty break, and all went well again. When he woke me up again, it was time to get up and start our “day”. I managed to get some sleep, about 8 hours in total, according to my watch, so that was very nice and welcome. I got to the scale, was surprised at the numbers, and then I dressed, and prepped Koa’s meal… Hey ho, a new “day” has begun…
Thanks to all for your kindness and support during my "journey through daily life" :bear_love: I really appreciate it 💜 as it helps me to keep going on bad/harder days! :bear_nuzzle:
:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾
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#Journal of a grateful Dutch AuDHD Pixy :pixy_party: (Monday, 29/06/2026).
I had a very bad night. Painkillers didn’t seem to help too much, and I was just so exhausted, but I could not get comfortable. Koa was affected by me as well, it seemed, as he struggled to get calm too. But then, he snoozed and all, and after some time, I was able to sleep some too. Koa woke me up a few times, and around 22:45, it was time to get up. I was still tired and sore, but as we’d gone to bed earlier than usual due to me feeling crap, I didn’t want to crate Koa even more. So, we got up, and we started our “day”.
I made Koa’s meal, took my meds, and then I got to the couch. As usual, I wrote an email to a sweet friend, and I wrote my journal toot, which I shared in the usual places. As my back was not too happy with me, and I was still rather tired, I tried to relax a bit with some telly. Koa joined me on the couch, which was very sweet indeed.
After brekkie, I wanted to play my game a bit more. I was settled in and all, and then Koa came to cuddle with me. He pressed his snout on my buttons, so that wasn’t helpful, haha. And as he lay across my legs, it hurt a bit due to my back. But, when Koa wasn’t using his teefs, the cuddling was actually quite nice, and very welcome. After some time, Koa released me again, and I was able to game some more. But as I was so tired, it was harder to maintain my focus on the game, so I turned it off, and watched some more telly.
Bestie called on her way to work, and we had a nice chat. And then Koa claimed some attention, which required me to head to the kitchen, and rinse my thumb, and put a bandage on, while chatting to bestie… Koa had hit my thumb with one of the sharp teefs, and it bled quite nicely. And people wonder why I call him my little vampire, haha.
After the call, I booted up the game again, and I managed to finish the first chapter. I shared some screengrabs on Masto, and then I turned off the PS5 again. I relaxed with some telly, until my ASS-ADHD coach came.
She asked how it was going, and I immediately burst out all the health issues. Within 5 minutes, she was calling the GP. And, I don’t know how, she got me an appointment within an hour time! She walked with Koa for me, which I think both of them enjoyed. Then, she and I took Skoosh, and we headed to the GP. We were a tad early, and the GP was a tad late, so it was hard to wait in the waiting room without my headphones and music…
The GP was very nice, she really listened, she examined, she discussed, and she diagnosed… I have a herniated disc, which is most likely pinching both nerves and a muscle. I got better meds, and she will call me on Thursday afternoon to discuss the meds. If needed, she will adjust them, so that I can at least be able to care for myself, and for Koa.
We got back, and my coach had to leave, as she was running late, due to the GP running late. I thanked her, and went inside. Koa was glad to see me, which was very sweet of him. I tried to relax on the couch, and then the pharmacy called. I had a good talk, and they would deliver the meds between 15:00 and 17:30.
I could not get comfy on the couch anymore, so after some time, we went to the bedroom to relax, while waiting for the meds to be delivered. I dozed off for a bit, as I was so tired. Then, Koa wanted to go out. So, we did. We got back to bed, and then the doorbell rang. I got my meds, and immediately took the first. Koa was awake and needed to check the house, before he could get settled again. He had heard the doorbell, and he didn’t know what had happened, so better check before snoozing again.
We went back to bed, and after some time, both Koa and I dozed off. He woke me up again for another potty break. And we snoozed again. In the end, he woke me up around 23:25, and according to my watch, I had slept about 6½ hours. But, it didn’t count when I dozed off for about an hour earlier, so I guess I got some decent amount of sleep. Then, we got up, and we started our “day”.
Thanks to all for your kindness and support during my "journey through daily life" :bear_love: I really appreciate it 💜 as it helps me to keep going on bad/harder days! :bear_nuzzle:
:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾
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#Journal of a grateful Dutch AuDHD Pixy :pixy_party: (Monday, 29/06/2026).
I had a very bad night. Painkillers didn’t seem to help too much, and I was just so exhausted, but I could not get comfortable. Koa was affected by me as well, it seemed, as he struggled to get calm too. But then, he snoozed and all, and after some time, I was able to sleep some too. Koa woke me up a few times, and around 22:45, it was time to get up. I was still tired and sore, but as we’d gone to bed earlier than usual due to me feeling crap, I didn’t want to crate Koa even more. So, we got up, and we started our “day”.
I made Koa’s meal, took my meds, and then I got to the couch. As usual, I wrote an email to a sweet friend, and I wrote my journal toot, which I shared in the usual places. As my back was not too happy with me, and I was still rather tired, I tried to relax a bit with some telly. Koa joined me on the couch, which was very sweet indeed.
After brekkie, I wanted to play my game a bit more. I was settled in and all, and then Koa came to cuddle with me. He pressed his snout on my buttons, so that wasn’t helpful, haha. And as he lay across my legs, it hurt a bit due to my back. But, when Koa wasn’t using his teefs, the cuddling was actually quite nice, and very welcome. After some time, Koa released me again, and I was able to game some more. But as I was so tired, it was harder to maintain my focus on the game, so I turned it off, and watched some more telly.
Bestie called on her way to work, and we had a nice chat. And then Koa claimed some attention, which required me to head to the kitchen, and rinse my thumb, and put a bandage on, while chatting to bestie… Koa had hit my thumb with one of the sharp teefs, and it bled quite nicely. And people wonder why I call him my little vampire, haha.
After the call, I booted up the game again, and I managed to finish the first chapter. I shared some screengrabs on Masto, and then I turned off the PS5 again. I relaxed with some telly, until my ASS-ADHD coach came.
She asked how it was going, and I immediately burst out all the health issues. Within 5 minutes, she was calling the GP. And, I don’t know how, she got me an appointment within an hour time! She walked with Koa for me, which I think both of them enjoyed. Then, she and I took Skoosh, and we headed to the GP. We were a tad early, and the GP was a tad late, so it was hard to wait in the waiting room without my headphones and music…
The GP was very nice, she really listened, she examined, she discussed, and she diagnosed… I have a herniated disc, which is most likely pinching both nerves and a muscle. I got better meds, and she will call me on Thursday afternoon to discuss the meds. If needed, she will adjust them, so that I can at least be able to care for myself, and for Koa.
We got back, and my coach had to leave, as she was running late, due to the GP running late. I thanked her, and went inside. Koa was glad to see me, which was very sweet of him. I tried to relax on the couch, and then the pharmacy called. I had a good talk, and they would deliver the meds between 15:00 and 17:30.
I could not get comfy on the couch anymore, so after some time, we went to the bedroom to relax, while waiting for the meds to be delivered. I dozed off for a bit, as I was so tired. Then, Koa wanted to go out. So, we did. We got back to bed, and then the doorbell rang. I got my meds, and immediately took the first. Koa was awake and needed to check the house, before he could get settled again. He had heard the doorbell, and he didn’t know what had happened, so better check before snoozing again.
We went back to bed, and after some time, both Koa and I dozed off. He woke me up again for another potty break. And we snoozed again. In the end, he woke me up around 23:25, and according to my watch, I had slept about 6½ hours. But, it didn’t count when I dozed off for about an hour earlier, so I guess I got some decent amount of sleep. Then, we got up, and we started our “day”.
Thanks to all for your kindness and support during my "journey through daily life" :bear_love: I really appreciate it 💜 as it helps me to keep going on bad/harder days! :bear_nuzzle:
:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾
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CW: Nothing too bad, except my pain, and this Toot being >5k. 😊
#Journal of a very desperate Dutch AuDHD Pixy :pixy_party: (Sunday, 28/06/2026).
I didn’t have the worst night, but when Koa woke me up, unfortunately, my back wasn’t any better yet. It didn’t feel any worse either, it was still the same annoying, and crippling, pain. I didn’t use the scale, as there was no way for me to stand straight enough, long enough, for it to be able to get a decent measurement. I got dressed, fixed Koa’s meal, took my meds, and stumbled to the couch. I grabbed my laptop, and I started writing my email to my sweet friend.
When it was getting a bit cooler, I opened up the door and the windows. A distant rumbling, some flashes, the bad weather was coming… But at first, it seemed to not come our way. When I had finished the email and journal toot, I took Koa to Skoosh, and we headed to Schaijk. I got my meds from the pharmacy vault there, and we got back safe and sound. I worked on my blog a bit more, and then I heard the rumblings coming closer and faster.
The weather apps all had been warning me that between 3/3:15, the bad weather ⛈️ would get to us. But, around 2:45, the rumbling was loud, and the wind was picking up hard. So, I “quickly” got upstairs to close the windows, and then I closed everything downstairs as well. Within a few minutes, the heavy weather was coming down like crazy! Loads of loud rumblings, that could be felt while on the couch. Many flashes that lighted up everything bright. And, loads and loads of rain, flooding the gardens and the street. Koa was a bit overwhelmed, but I tried to stay calm, even though some of the thunder caught me by surprise as well. We cuddled a bit on the couch, and I tried to get some video of the crazy weather. Around 3:15, the weather got calmer again. Still some rumblings and flashes, but a lot less rain, and the thunderstorm seemed to have passed us now.
I was done with my laptop, and I tried to relax a bit with some telly. My back and leg were quite annoying, and it was hard to properly relax. Koa wanted to go out, so I tried a short walk on the grassy field with him. He was able to do his things, but it was very hard and painful for me. I felt like I was failing him, not providing to his needs. But, he got food, he got his toys, he had some play time, he could go outside for his business. It may not have been the care that I would want to give him, but he wasn’t being neglected either. Still, I could not shake the feeling that I wasn’t doing right by him enough. 😢
After some time, I contacted my mum, and asked if she could come over to help me with a walk with Koa. I was hoping she could come early, before it would get too hot. But mum was in some sort of “mood”, one she’s in more and more these days (and one I cannot seem to deal with properly), and in the end, it took her about 3 hours to get here. It was already 27°C, and the sun was hot and bright.
While I was waiting for mum, I tried to ride the bike for a bit, hoping it would help my muscle to relax a bit. I managed a 20 minute ride, and it didn’t feel too bad, but it was hard to get back down the stairs again. Just before mum arrived, Koa needed to go out. We were near the grassy field, when mum got from the car. She didn’t even see us, and I had to yell for her to notice us at all. I wanted a certain walk, as it had more shade. So, mum wanted another one. She was being grouchy with Koa, who was doing his best, and who had so much energy in him, that he was more enthusiastic. Everything I wanted, mum wanted differently. And, instead of asking if I needed any more help, I was being told that she “had to hurry for me”, and that this was her free day… All in all, I was being told this was an inconvenience, and I felt guilty in the end, for asking her to help me, when I felt like crap.
Mum is changing so much these days, and she is becoming someone that I don’t know how to deal with anymore. Rules I was brought up with, she breaks all the time. If I say or ask anything, she always sees it as something negative… Where she used to be compassionate and helpful, she now complains so much on how it’s all so hard on her… I don’t know how to deal with this, especially when I am in pain so much, that I reach out to her for support. I guess it’s also partially due to dealing with my dad all the time. But why treat me in a way that she hates to be treated in herself? Ah well…
When mum left, I was feeling like crap even more. I cared for Koa, and then, we went to bed early. Not to sleep, really, but to be able to lie down as comfy as possible. I took extra painmeds, as the ones I had taken didn’t seem to do anything, and I was crying out due to the pain and distress. Koa was a very good boy, and it seemed he tied to help me by being the bestest one. I tried to distract myself a bit with some Masto, and I emailed a sweet friend. I had some Downton Abbey on my tablet.
After a while, the meds seemed to kick in, finally, and I was able to get some sleep. Koa woke me up a few times, but he quickly did his things, and got back to snoozing again. When it was time to get up, according to Koa (he’d been in the crate longer than usual, so I fully understood), I got about 5:45 hours of sleep. I was hoping that my ASS-ADHD coach would be able to help me getting some medical help on Monday morning. She should be with us around 9:15, and I really hope that she can make some calls to have my back and leg being seen by a doc. Maybe even get a scan. I am done with this pain, and I can’t keep going on like this. 😖 So, fingers crossed that she can help me to get the help I so desperately need… 🤞🏻🍀
Thanks to all for your kindness and support during my "journey through daily life" :bear_love: I really appreciate it 💜 as it helps me to keep going on bad/harder days! :bear_nuzzle:
:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾
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CW: Nothing too bad, except my pain, and this Toot being >5k. 😊
#Journal of a very desperate Dutch AuDHD Pixy :pixy_party: (Sunday, 28/06/2026).
I didn’t have the worst night, but when Koa woke me up, unfortunately, my back wasn’t any better yet. It didn’t feel any worse either, it was still the same annoying, and crippling, pain. I didn’t use the scale, as there was no way for me to stand straight enough, long enough, for it to be able to get a decent measurement. I got dressed, fixed Koa’s meal, took my meds, and stumbled to the couch. I grabbed my laptop, and I started writing my email to my sweet friend.
When it was getting a bit cooler, I opened up the door and the windows. A distant rumbling, some flashes, the bad weather was coming… But at first, it seemed to not come our way. When I had finished the email and journal toot, I took Koa to Skoosh, and we headed to Schaijk. I got my meds from the pharmacy vault there, and we got back safe and sound. I worked on my blog a bit more, and then I heard the rumblings coming closer and faster.
The weather apps all had been warning me that between 3/3:15, the bad weather ⛈️ would get to us. But, around 2:45, the rumbling was loud, and the wind was picking up hard. So, I “quickly” got upstairs to close the windows, and then I closed everything downstairs as well. Within a few minutes, the heavy weather was coming down like crazy! Loads of loud rumblings, that could be felt while on the couch. Many flashes that lighted up everything bright. And, loads and loads of rain, flooding the gardens and the street. Koa was a bit overwhelmed, but I tried to stay calm, even though some of the thunder caught me by surprise as well. We cuddled a bit on the couch, and I tried to get some video of the crazy weather. Around 3:15, the weather got calmer again. Still some rumblings and flashes, but a lot less rain, and the thunderstorm seemed to have passed us now.
I was done with my laptop, and I tried to relax a bit with some telly. My back and leg were quite annoying, and it was hard to properly relax. Koa wanted to go out, so I tried a short walk on the grassy field with him. He was able to do his things, but it was very hard and painful for me. I felt like I was failing him, not providing to his needs. But, he got food, he got his toys, he had some play time, he could go outside for his business. It may not have been the care that I would want to give him, but he wasn’t being neglected either. Still, I could not shake the feeling that I wasn’t doing right by him enough. 😢
After some time, I contacted my mum, and asked if she could come over to help me with a walk with Koa. I was hoping she could come early, before it would get too hot. But mum was in some sort of “mood”, one she’s in more and more these days (and one I cannot seem to deal with properly), and in the end, it took her about 3 hours to get here. It was already 27°C, and the sun was hot and bright.
While I was waiting for mum, I tried to ride the bike for a bit, hoping it would help my muscle to relax a bit. I managed a 20 minute ride, and it didn’t feel too bad, but it was hard to get back down the stairs again. Just before mum arrived, Koa needed to go out. We were near the grassy field, when mum got from the car. She didn’t even see us, and I had to yell for her to notice us at all. I wanted a certain walk, as it had more shade. So, mum wanted another one. She was being grouchy with Koa, who was doing his best, and who had so much energy in him, that he was more enthusiastic. Everything I wanted, mum wanted differently. And, instead of asking if I needed any more help, I was being told that she “had to hurry for me”, and that this was her free day… All in all, I was being told this was an inconvenience, and I felt guilty in the end, for asking her to help me, when I felt like crap.
Mum is changing so much these days, and she is becoming someone that I don’t know how to deal with anymore. Rules I was brought up with, she breaks all the time. If I say or ask anything, she always sees it as something negative… Where she used to be compassionate and helpful, she now complains so much on how it’s all so hard on her… I don’t know how to deal with this, especially when I am in pain so much, that I reach out to her for support. I guess it’s also partially due to dealing with my dad all the time. But why treat me in a way that she hates to be treated in herself? Ah well…
When mum left, I was feeling like crap even more. I cared for Koa, and then, we went to bed early. Not to sleep, really, but to be able to lie down as comfy as possible. I took extra painmeds, as the ones I had taken didn’t seem to do anything, and I was crying out due to the pain and distress. Koa was a very good boy, and it seemed he tied to help me by being the bestest one. I tried to distract myself a bit with some Masto, and I emailed a sweet friend. I had some Downton Abbey on my tablet.
After a while, the meds seemed to kick in, finally, and I was able to get some sleep. Koa woke me up a few times, but he quickly did his things, and got back to snoozing again. When it was time to get up, according to Koa (he’d been in the crate longer than usual, so I fully understood), I got about 5:45 hours of sleep. I was hoping that my ASS-ADHD coach would be able to help me getting some medical help on Monday morning. She should be with us around 9:15, and I really hope that she can make some calls to have my back and leg being seen by a doc. Maybe even get a scan. I am done with this pain, and I can’t keep going on like this. 😖 So, fingers crossed that she can help me to get the help I so desperately need… 🤞🏻🍀
Thanks to all for your kindness and support during my "journey through daily life" :bear_love: I really appreciate it 💜 as it helps me to keep going on bad/harder days! :bear_nuzzle:
:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾
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#Journal of a very sore 😖 Dutch AuDHD Pixy :pixy_party: (Saturday, 27/06/2026).
We had a decent enough sleep, and I felt rather OK when we got up. A mild soreness in my back, but less bad than the previous days. I guess the massage at PT, and a decent sleep, did some magic. It was still quite hot when Koa woke me up. The outdoor sensor told me it was about 28°C, so way too warm to open up the windows. I prepped Koa’s meal, took my meds, and went to the couch with my laptop.
I started my “usual” email to my sweet friend. Koa was rather relaxed, which was nice. While I was writing my journal toot, Koa got a bit more bitey, and I decided to crate him. I did give him a snack that should last him a while, so he could get his biting needs taken care of in a safe way. I finished the journal post, uploaded it to Masto, my journal app, and my journal blog post. I worked a bit on my blog, and finished two Silent Sunday posts, and one quote post. Then, I put away my laptop, and had my brekkie.
A short walkies with Koa after that, and then we tried to relax a bit. For some reason, I checked the PS app, and I saw a game from a series that I enjoyed, Life is Strange, had come to PS+. I downloaded the game to my PS5. First, I gave Koa his meal, and after some telly time, we went out for a bigger walk. All went great… Until we were on our way back, and Koa started pulling on the leash. He made me make a weird twist, and I felt that this was definitely not good… I barely made it back home with Koa, and I immediately needed some extra painkillers, as my back was so bad again…
I tried to stretch on the couch a bit, but it didn’t really help a lot. So, I tried to distract myself, and I booted up the PS5, to try out the “Life is Strange: Double Exposure” game. When I just started the game, my mum came with some groceries she’d taken from Germany for me. We unpacked the car, which was harder for me now, as my back and leg were causing issues again. When all was inside, mum hugged Koa for a bit, and then she headed back home again, before it got too hot.
I managed to play the game for a while, with some interruptions for potty breaks for Koa. I took a few screenshots to share on Masto. After a while, I was getting a slight headache, and my back was acting up even more, so I turned the PS5 off, and I tried to relax with some Downton Abbey on TV. I used ice packs to try and cool the painful muscles, hoping they would relax a bit and all. It helped a wee bit, but not enough to make me feel better. Even the extra painkillers didn’t seem to do too much, and I felt very bläh indeed. Why had I thought it a good idea to try a longer walk before I was properly healed up again? Maybe because we’d been locked up so much due to the heat, and Koa and I needed to get some fresh air and all that… Ah well, nothing can be done about this, except to keep doing what I was doing. Cooling, stretching, and relaxing.
After some relaxing with the telly, it was only getting warmer, and I was getting more annoyed with the pain in my back and leg. So, I decided to head to bed a little earlier, and Koa didn’t too much either. It did take a little while for Koa to settle, and when he did, I fell asleep shortly after as well. I woke up for the loo about two hours later, and Koa kept snoozing. He woke me up later for a potty break, and shortly after that, we were snoozing again. When he woke me up again, it was a bit too early for my liking. But, he didn’t want to relax anymore, and when we went out, he did both numbers one and two. So, we got up a bit earlier, and we started our “day”.
Thanks to all for your kindness and support during my "journey through daily life" :bear_love: I really appreciate it 💜 as it helps me to keep going on bad/harder days! :bear_nuzzle:
:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾
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#Journal of a very sore 😖 Dutch AuDHD Pixy :pixy_party: (Saturday, 27/06/2026).
We had a decent enough sleep, and I felt rather OK when we got up. A mild soreness in my back, but less bad than the previous days. I guess the massage at PT, and a decent sleep, did some magic. It was still quite hot when Koa woke me up. The outdoor sensor told me it was about 28°C, so way too warm to open up the windows. I prepped Koa’s meal, took my meds, and went to the couch with my laptop.
I started my “usual” email to my sweet friend. Koa was rather relaxed, which was nice. While I was writing my journal toot, Koa got a bit more bitey, and I decided to crate him. I did give him a snack that should last him a while, so he could get his biting needs taken care of in a safe way. I finished the journal post, uploaded it to Masto, my journal app, and my journal blog post. I worked a bit on my blog, and finished two Silent Sunday posts, and one quote post. Then, I put away my laptop, and had my brekkie.
A short walkies with Koa after that, and then we tried to relax a bit. For some reason, I checked the PS app, and I saw a game from a series that I enjoyed, Life is Strange, had come to PS+. I downloaded the game to my PS5. First, I gave Koa his meal, and after some telly time, we went out for a bigger walk. All went great… Until we were on our way back, and Koa started pulling on the leash. He made me make a weird twist, and I felt that this was definitely not good… I barely made it back home with Koa, and I immediately needed some extra painkillers, as my back was so bad again…
I tried to stretch on the couch a bit, but it didn’t really help a lot. So, I tried to distract myself, and I booted up the PS5, to try out the “Life is Strange: Double Exposure” game. When I just started the game, my mum came with some groceries she’d taken from Germany for me. We unpacked the car, which was harder for me now, as my back and leg were causing issues again. When all was inside, mum hugged Koa for a bit, and then she headed back home again, before it got too hot.
I managed to play the game for a while, with some interruptions for potty breaks for Koa. I took a few screenshots to share on Masto. After a while, I was getting a slight headache, and my back was acting up even more, so I turned the PS5 off, and I tried to relax with some Downton Abbey on TV. I used ice packs to try and cool the painful muscles, hoping they would relax a bit and all. It helped a wee bit, but not enough to make me feel better. Even the extra painkillers didn’t seem to do too much, and I felt very bläh indeed. Why had I thought it a good idea to try a longer walk before I was properly healed up again? Maybe because we’d been locked up so much due to the heat, and Koa and I needed to get some fresh air and all that… Ah well, nothing can be done about this, except to keep doing what I was doing. Cooling, stretching, and relaxing.
After some relaxing with the telly, it was only getting warmer, and I was getting more annoyed with the pain in my back and leg. So, I decided to head to bed a little earlier, and Koa didn’t too much either. It did take a little while for Koa to settle, and when he did, I fell asleep shortly after as well. I woke up for the loo about two hours later, and Koa kept snoozing. He woke me up later for a potty break, and shortly after that, we were snoozing again. When he woke me up again, it was a bit too early for my liking. But, he didn’t want to relax anymore, and when we went out, he did both numbers one and two. So, we got up a bit earlier, and we started our “day”.
Thanks to all for your kindness and support during my "journey through daily life" :bear_love: I really appreciate it 💜 as it helps me to keep going on bad/harder days! :bear_nuzzle:
:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾
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#Journal of a hot 🥵 Dutch AuDHD Pixy :pixy_party: (Friday, 26/06/2026).
Koa had a bit of a restless night, where he woke up twice for potty breaks. Which also meant that I had a broken night, and not a lot of quality sleep. At least the heat didn’t bother me too much, and I was able to get some sleep. We got up, and started our routine. I got to the scale, which is still painful to do due to my back and leg. I fixed Koa’s meal, and while he munched away, I took my meds. I got to the couch with my laptop, and started writing an email to a sweet friend.
It was still too hot to open up the windows, so I kept an eye out on the weather station, so I could crack those windows open as soon as it was cool enough. Koa was rather calm this start of the night, so that was nice as well, as that meant I didn’t have to crate him to keep him safe. When I finished the email, and had just started on the journal toot, Koa started to nibble on the couch again. I don’t want him to get any of these splinters in his mouth, or worse, that he’ll swallow them (he already did that once, and when I cleaned up his number two, the splinter scared the bejeezus out of me… Since then, I am keeping him away from the wood under the couch as much as I can). He stopped for a while, and I could finish my journal toot. When it was updated to all the usual places, I took Koa out for a little walk.
We relaxed for a while, and when the temps were lowering enough, I headed upstairs, opened up the windows there, It was nearly 26°C there, so not that bad actually, seeing the weather we’d been having. But still, warm enough to sweat. I got back down, and slowly started to open up the windows and kitchen door here too. We relaxed some more, and when it was getting light out, Koa and I went for a nice, and a bit cooler, walk. There was a slight breeze, which was very welcome as well.
When we got back, I fixed Koa’s meal. After a wee bit of relaxing, I thought it would be nice for Koa to have some water fun. I rinsed off the artificial grass, and then I tried to fill up the blue shell a bit. I could not film this, but Koa had a blast playing with all the water. I got him the water toy that Yolande had given him on her first visit, and he had a nice playtime, before it got too hot. I was able to film some of this, so that was nice for sure. When it was getting warmer again, I dried off the worst of Koa, but not all, and we went inside. I closed up all the bits, as the sun was already working hard on getting the temps up again.
When it was getting closer to 8am, I got to Skoosh, and we headed to the supermarket for a few groceries. I quickly got what I needed, and we headed back home again. Koa was relaxing in his crate, so that was a good thing for sure. I unpacked the groceries, had a little walk with Koa, and then had a small bite to eat. We relaxed for a while, and Koa got a lickimat with some frozen yogurt, which he seemed to enjoy. He relaxed a bit, and then also enjoyed his snuffle mat. After that, I packed the bag, got an extra one with some water and drinks, and I made sure that my umbrella was in Skoosh as well, just in case.
Koa and I got to Skoosh, and we headed to Cuijk. It was warm, but Skoosh worked hard, and she managed to keep the inside cool enough for us to not melt away. I had set it to 22°C, as it was above the 30 degrees already. Koa wanted it even cooler, but I didn’t want it to be too cold. When we were nearly there, I slowly upped the temps a bit, so we would not be hit by the heat as soon as we’d get out. The physio practice had aircon on as well, so Koa and I could wait quite comfortable. Koa wanted to get out a few times, but he never did a wee. There was no grassy area nearby, so I guess that’s what stopped him from not doing a wee…
Physio went well, and the massage was more than welcome. Koa didn’t get into too much mischief, although big Bas did startle every time the little hairball let out a bark… After the massage, Koa and I got back to Skoosh. I “fired up” the aircon, slowly setting it colder as we went along. And all went well. When we got back home, Koa did a mighty big wee on the grassy field behind the house. Then we went inside, where it was nice and cool.
Koa got his meal, I got a snack, and we both relaxed. It was getting so hot outside, and it even warmed up a bit more inside. I was getting very tired, and even Koa was acting a bit more relaxed. So, we went out for a last pee and poop, and then Koa and I headed to bed. It didn’t take Koa too long to doze off, and it took me a little longer. I woke up a little while later, went to the loo, and got back to bed. When Koa woke me up for his potty break, he’d been sleeping for about 6½ hours, which was very good of him! We managed a bit more sleep after that, and when Koa woke me up again, my watch told me I slept for about 7:45, which was very nice indeed. So, we got up, and we started our “day”.
Thanks to all for your kindness and support during my "journey through daily life" :bear_love: I really appreciate it 💜 as it helps me to keep going on bad/harder days! :bear_nuzzle:
:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾
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#Journal of a hot 🥵 Dutch AuDHD Pixy :pixy_party: (Friday, 26/06/2026).
Koa had a bit of a restless night, where he woke up twice for potty breaks. Which also meant that I had a broken night, and not a lot of quality sleep. At least the heat didn’t bother me too much, and I was able to get some sleep. We got up, and started our routine. I got to the scale, which is still painful to do due to my back and leg. I fixed Koa’s meal, and while he munched away, I took my meds. I got to the couch with my laptop, and started writing an email to a sweet friend.
It was still too hot to open up the windows, so I kept an eye out on the weather station, so I could crack those windows open as soon as it was cool enough. Koa was rather calm this start of the night, so that was nice as well, as that meant I didn’t have to crate him to keep him safe. When I finished the email, and had just started on the journal toot, Koa started to nibble on the couch again. I don’t want him to get any of these splinters in his mouth, or worse, that he’ll swallow them (he already did that once, and when I cleaned up his number two, the splinter scared the bejeezus out of me… Since then, I am keeping him away from the wood under the couch as much as I can). He stopped for a while, and I could finish my journal toot. When it was updated to all the usual places, I took Koa out for a little walk.
We relaxed for a while, and when the temps were lowering enough, I headed upstairs, opened up the windows there, It was nearly 26°C there, so not that bad actually, seeing the weather we’d been having. But still, warm enough to sweat. I got back down, and slowly started to open up the windows and kitchen door here too. We relaxed some more, and when it was getting light out, Koa and I went for a nice, and a bit cooler, walk. There was a slight breeze, which was very welcome as well.
When we got back, I fixed Koa’s meal. After a wee bit of relaxing, I thought it would be nice for Koa to have some water fun. I rinsed off the artificial grass, and then I tried to fill up the blue shell a bit. I could not film this, but Koa had a blast playing with all the water. I got him the water toy that Yolande had given him on her first visit, and he had a nice playtime, before it got too hot. I was able to film some of this, so that was nice for sure. When it was getting warmer again, I dried off the worst of Koa, but not all, and we went inside. I closed up all the bits, as the sun was already working hard on getting the temps up again.
When it was getting closer to 8am, I got to Skoosh, and we headed to the supermarket for a few groceries. I quickly got what I needed, and we headed back home again. Koa was relaxing in his crate, so that was a good thing for sure. I unpacked the groceries, had a little walk with Koa, and then had a small bite to eat. We relaxed for a while, and Koa got a lickimat with some frozen yogurt, which he seemed to enjoy. He relaxed a bit, and then also enjoyed his snuffle mat. After that, I packed the bag, got an extra one with some water and drinks, and I made sure that my umbrella was in Skoosh as well, just in case.
Koa and I got to Skoosh, and we headed to Cuijk. It was warm, but Skoosh worked hard, and she managed to keep the inside cool enough for us to not melt away. I had set it to 22°C, as it was above the 30 degrees already. Koa wanted it even cooler, but I didn’t want it to be too cold. When we were nearly there, I slowly upped the temps a bit, so we would not be hit by the heat as soon as we’d get out. The physio practice had aircon on as well, so Koa and I could wait quite comfortable. Koa wanted to get out a few times, but he never did a wee. There was no grassy area nearby, so I guess that’s what stopped him from not doing a wee…
Physio went well, and the massage was more than welcome. Koa didn’t get into too much mischief, although big Bas did startle every time the little hairball let out a bark… After the massage, Koa and I got back to Skoosh. I “fired up” the aircon, slowly setting it colder as we went along. And all went well. When we got back home, Koa did a mighty big wee on the grassy field behind the house. Then we went inside, where it was nice and cool.
Koa got his meal, I got a snack, and we both relaxed. It was getting so hot outside, and it even warmed up a bit more inside. I was getting very tired, and even Koa was acting a bit more relaxed. So, we went out for a last pee and poop, and then Koa and I headed to bed. It didn’t take Koa too long to doze off, and it took me a little longer. I woke up a little while later, went to the loo, and got back to bed. When Koa woke me up for his potty break, he’d been sleeping for about 6½ hours, which was very good of him! We managed a bit more sleep after that, and when Koa woke me up again, my watch told me I slept for about 7:45, which was very nice indeed. So, we got up, and we started our “day”.
Thanks to all for your kindness and support during my "journey through daily life" :bear_love: I really appreciate it 💜 as it helps me to keep going on bad/harder days! :bear_nuzzle:
:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾