#jokeoftheday — Public Fediverse posts

#JokeOfTheDay
My neighbor knocked on my door at 2:30 a.m. Luckily, I was still awake, playing the drums.

#JokeOfTheDay
What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer.

#JokeOfTheDay
What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer.

#JokeOfTheDay
What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer.

#JokeOfTheDay
What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer.

#JokeOfTheDay
What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer.

The sound from a musician on stage bounces off the walls of the auditorium to surround the audience.
The sound from a pigeon does not. The reason for this is a coo sticks.

#jokeoftheday #dadjokes

The sound from a musician on stage bounces off the walls of the auditorium to surround the audience.
The sound from a pigeon does not. The reason for this is a coo sticks.

#jokeoftheday #dadjokes

The sound from a musician on stage bounces off the walls of the auditorium to surround the audience.
The sound from a pigeon does not. The reason for this is a coo sticks.

#jokeoftheday #dadjokes

The sound from a musician on stage bounces off the walls of the auditorium to surround the audience.
The sound from a pigeon does not. The reason for this is a coo sticks.

#jokeoftheday #dadjokes

#JokeOfTheDay
I accidentally handed my wife a glue stick instead of lipstick. She still isn’t talking to me.

#JokeOfTheDay
I accidentally handed my wife a glue stick instead of lipstick. She still isn’t talking to me.

#JokeOfTheDay
I accidentally handed my wife a glue stick instead of lipstick. She still isn’t talking to me.

#JokeOfTheDay
I accidentally handed my wife a glue stick instead of lipstick. She still isn’t talking to me.

#JokeOfTheDay
I accidentally handed my wife a glue stick instead of lipstick. She still isn’t talking to me.

It's going to be awkward if Mr and Mrs Burr lose their son Tim in a forest…

#jokeoftheday #dadjokes #TimVine

It's going to be awkward if Mr and Mrs Burr lose their son Tim in a forest…

#jokeoftheday #dadjokes #TimVine

It's going to be awkward if Mr and Mrs Burr lose their son Tim in a forest…

#jokeoftheday #dadjokes #TimVine

It's going to be awkward if Mr and Mrs Burr lose their son Tim in a forest…

#jokeoftheday #dadjokes #TimVine

@MelissaBearTrix

White Christmas 🎄
================

I'm dreaming of a white Christmas,
just like the ones Christ used to know,
two millennia ago, in Judea,
where the reindeer played in the snow.

I'm dreaming of a white Christmas,
let's go chop down some pine trees,
light 'em up bright, with electricity,
to please our long dead deity,
while the world heats up, three degrees.

I'm dreaming of a white Christmas,
because the season is fantastic,
to buy gifts made of plastic,
to fill landfills, and the sea.
Let's all go on a shopping spree!

I'm dreaming of a white Christmas,
with all the third world girls and boys,
who wish for treats & toys,
and are told, that shit ain't free,
so don't milk our sentimentality.

I'm screaming about a white Christmas,
because it should be plain to see,
it's just a feelgood fantasy,
to push consumption, and white supremacy.

May your electric bills be high.
And may all your friends be white.

#Earth #Environment #Ecology #ClimateChange
#Consumerism #Colonialism #Capitalism
#Parody #Christmas
#Xmas #Lyrics #Song
#SongWriting #Comedy
#SocialJustice #Xtianity
#Christianity #Christ
#Jesus #MAGA #Holiday
#Joke #Jokes #Humor #Humour #Funny #Fun
#JokeOfTheDay

Thanks to the people who said it was alright to let pets sleep on your bed!
My goldfish is now dead.

#jokeoftheday #dadjokes #vetbills

Thanks to the people who said it was alright to let pets sleep on your bed!
My goldfish is now dead.

#jokeoftheday #dadjokes #vetbills

Thanks to the people who said it was alright to let pets sleep on your bed!
My goldfish is now dead.

#jokeoftheday #dadjokes #vetbills

Thanks to the people who said it was alright to let pets sleep on your bed!
My goldfish is now dead.

#jokeoftheday #dadjokes #vetbills