#jokeoftheday — Public Fediverse posts
Live and recent posts from across the Fediverse tagged #jokeoftheday, aggregated by home.social.
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#JokeOfTheDay
What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing; it just waved. -
#JokeOfTheDay
Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one. -
#JokeOfTheDay
I told my boss I needed a raise because three companies were after me.
He asked which companies.
I said, “The electric company, the water company, and the credit card company." -
#JokeOfTheDay
What kind of tree fits in your hand? A palm tree. -
#JokeOfTheDay
What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese. -
#JokeOfTheDay
My wife told me to stop acting like a flamingo.
So I had to put my foot down. -
#JokeOfTheDay
I used to think I was indecisive.
Now I’m not so sure -
#JokeOfTheDay
Why did the math book look worried? It had too many problems. -
#JokeOfTheDay
What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear. -
#JokeOfTheDay
Why did the computer visit the doctor? It had a bad case of byte-sized bugs. -
#JokeOfTheDay
Why did the calendar get promoted? It had a lot of dates. -
I used to be a fortune teller but only ever foretold bad winters! Turns out the crystal ball shop sold me a snow globe....
#jokeoftheday #joke #boost #3dcandy -
I went out with this girl the t'other night and she wore a slinky number. She really looked good going down the stairs!
#jokeoftheday #joke #slinky -
What do you call spiders when they get married?
Newleywebs!
#jokeoftheday #boost #3dcandy #joke -
What do you call an alligator wearing a vest?
An investigator
#jokeoftheday #alligator #vest #joke #boost -
What do you get from a dwarf cow?
Condensed milk!
#jokeoftheday #boost -
You have to hand it to blind prostitutes....
#jokeoftheday #boost -
I knew a king who was 12 inches tall. Terrible king but great ruler!
#jokeoftheday #boost #dadjoke -
CW: What do you call a belt made of watches?
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My Grandma fell asleep in a restaurant the other day but it was OK because it was Nando's
#jokeoftheday #boost #joke -
A friend of mine bought some laxatives at an auction! Before he knew it he was going once, going twice...
#boost #jokeoftheday #joke -
CW: What do you call a deer with no eyes?
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I asked a librarian if she had a book about Pavlov's dog and Schrödinger's cat? She said it rang a bell, but she wasn't sure if it was there or not!
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📅 February, 22nd
😻 NATIONAL CAT DAY (Neko-no-kinenbi)
🇯🇵 in Japan
───────────────#Nekonokinenbi #nationalcatday
#FlachwitzFabrik #DadJoke #DadJokes #humour #humor #jokeoftheday -
Coffee reaches places motivation can never get to!
#FlachwitzFabrik #DadJoke #DadJokes #humour #humor #jokeoftheday #dad jokes
#dadjokefriday#FlachwitzFabrik #DasJoke #DadJokes #humour #jokeoftheday #dadjokefriday
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What is another name for an Asian assassin?
A Chinese takeout!
#jokeoftheday #joke #boost