#hmhb — Public Fediverse posts
Live and recent posts from across the Fediverse tagged #hmhb, aggregated by home.social.
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"Bridge Street? Overhead railway Bridge Street? OH MY GOD! HELEN!"
(if you know, you know)
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/videos/c74rdkv80yjo?app-referrer=deep-link
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Mathematically Safe
May morning, hanging round a trapdoor
Saw a girl like I’ve never seen before
I wanna make her mathematically safe
Wanna keep her mathematically safe
Take her up where we’re mathematically safe
Gonna wake up mathematically safeMid table there’s nothing much on my fork
It’s alright though ‘cos I can go for my walk
Around Cartmel, mathematically safe
Ain’t no alarm bell, we’re mathematically safe
On a lilo, in a sea of alright
I’m a mongrel and I just won a dog fight
#hmhb #HalfManHalfBiscuit -
Instead of #HalfManHalfBiscuit, I got #FreddieMercury and a random deer.
Close enough #hmhb
(Freddie wasn't home) -
Time flies by when you're a driver of a train
Speeding out of Trumpton with a cargo of cocaine
I get high when I'm a pilot of a plane
Touching down in Camberwick, I'm stoned out of my brain.
Under bridges, over bridges, to our destination
Careful with that spliff, Eugene, it causes condensation.
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Safe to say 1906 miles is the furthest I've travelled to see #halfmanhalfbiscuit #hmhb
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“Twenty Four Hour Garage People”
I fancy I’ll open a stationer’s
Stock quaint notepads for weekend pagans
While you were out at The Rollright Stones
I came and set fire to your shed
‘Cos you probably work at an all-night garage
You probably work at an all-night garage
You probably work at an all-night garage
With Talk Radio on -
Biscuits, pizza and Scottish culture
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“Albert Hammond bootleg”
Talking to a girl on the south coast of France
She was on an 18-30 but I still took a chance
But on the last night ‘neath the stars of Marseilles
She said that Robin Askwith was funnyOh god how I longed for a dangerous wave
So I could surf myself towards an early grave
I would rather talk to plankton than to dance with you
I hope your plane back home’s a DC-10
#HMHB #HalfManHalfBiscuit -
Recorded #OnThisDay 26 years ago:
Half Man Half Biscuit - Peel Session 1999
The complete session recorded by Half Man Half Biscuit on 25 August 1999 for the John Peel show on BBC Radio 1 and broadcast on 9 September 1999.
Tracklist:
1. Uffington Wassail (2:19)
2. Gubba Look-alikes (5:55)
3. Bottleneck At Capel Curig (11:57)
4. Twenty Four Hour Garage People (15:07)https://vibracobra23.blogspot.com/2019/08/half-man-half-biscuit-peel-session-1999.html
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“Shit Arm, Bad Tattoo”
If you’re going to quote from the Book of Revelation
Don’t keep calling it the Book of Revelations
There’s no “s”, it’s the Book of Revelation
As revealed to St John the Divine
See also Mary Hopkin
She must despairYou’ve got a shit arm, and that’s a bad tattoo
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“The referee’s alphabet”
K is for the kissing of the badge
How ridiculous that looks 6 months later when they’re at another club -
@fesshole As is so often the case, #HalfManHalfBiscuit have already satirised this. #HMHB
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“Upon Westminster Bridge”
If Jesus came to Earth today
They’d crucify him straight away
Upon a cross of MDF
And they’d use No Need For NailsShip-shape farmhouse
Dry stone wall chart
Cash-back foot spa
Straight down Ladbrokes
Low cost school trip
Ramraid Oxfam
“Christ that sun’s hot”
Yes that’s right sirOh help me Mrs Medlicott
I don’t know what to do
I’ve only got three bullets
And there’s four of Motley Crue
#hmhb #HalfManHalfBiscuit -
“Horror Clowns Are Dickheads”
Horror Clowns are dickheads
You know it’s true
And if you’ve got a phobia of them
You’re a dickhead too
Don’t go worrying and don’t be wary
They have never been remotely scary
Hardly M.R. James
Hardly Edgar Allan Poe
Get a decent mob together
They don’t wanna know -
“The Ballad of Climie Fisher”
Now here comes a story that’s never been told
About the turbulent demise of Climie Fisher
They had their success and they went separate ways
Fisher went to work as a researcher for the BBC Education Department; rented a flat in Norbury, South London.
Climie moved into the gravel business, with his brother.
Theirs was the place to go for White Dolomite and Canterbury Spur.
It was a small but profitable operation, specialised in large driveways.
Top of the range was called a “Hadleigh”; so named after the TV series.
Now keep this in mind
Fisher hates gravel
And Fisher hates shale
It goes right through him
#hmhb #HalfManHalfBiscuit -
“Shit Arm, Bad Tattoo”
If you’re going to quote from the Book of Revelation
Don’t keep calling it the Book of Revelations
There’s no “s”, it’s the Book of Revelation
As revealed to St John the Divine
See also Mary Hopkin
She must despairYou’ve got a shit arm, and that’s a bad tattoo
You’ve got a shit arm, and that’s a bad tattoo -
“A pint for myself, and a pint for the ex-MC5”
https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=htOp5T3JX2s&si=lhYROBlGzSUBFtkA
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And all those people who you romantically
Like to still believe are alive, are dead#HMHB on the money yet again. RIP #DickieDavies
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CW: Twenty Four Hour Garage People
“I fancy I’ll open a stationer’s
Stock quaint notepads for weekend pagans
While you were out at The Rollright Stones
I came and set fire to your shed
‘Cos you probably work at an all-night garage
You probably work at an all-night garage
You probably work at an all-night garage
With Talk Radio on”
#halfmanhalfbiscuit #hmhb #StandingStonesSunday