#halfmanhalfbiscuit — Public Fediverse posts
Live and recent posts from across the Fediverse tagged #halfmanhalfbiscuit, aggregated by home.social.
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In case you've been on the lookout for a Half Man Half Biscuit fansite, look no further, your Joy Division oven gloves are here...
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"Bridge Street? Overhead railway Bridge Street? OH MY GOD! HELEN!"
(if you know, you know)
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/videos/c74rdkv80yjo?app-referrer=deep-link
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Mathematically Safe
May morning, hanging round a trapdoor
Saw a girl like I’ve never seen before
I wanna make her mathematically safe
Wanna keep her mathematically safe
Take her up where we’re mathematically safe
Gonna wake up mathematically safeMid table there’s nothing much on my fork
It’s alright though ‘cos I can go for my walk
Around Cartmel, mathematically safe
Ain’t no alarm bell, we’re mathematically safe
On a lilo, in a sea of alright
I’m a mongrel and I just won a dog fight
#hmhb #HalfManHalfBiscuit -
Instead of #HalfManHalfBiscuit, I got #FreddieMercury and a random deer.
Close enough #hmhb
(Freddie wasn't home) -
Time flies by when you're a driver of a train
Speeding out of Trumpton with a cargo of cocaine
I get high when I'm a pilot of a plane
Touching down in Camberwick, I'm stoned out of my brain.
Under bridges, over bridges, to our destination
Careful with that spliff, Eugene, it causes condensation.
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Safe to say 1906 miles is the furthest I've travelled to see #halfmanhalfbiscuit #hmhb
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Name a #band with poorer professional success but a better #Wikipedia profile.
#HalfManHalfBiscuithttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Half_Man_Half_Biscuit?wprov=sfla1
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🇺🇦 #NowPlaying on #BBC6Music's #6MusicsIndieForever
Half Man Half Biscuit:
🎵 All I Want For Christmas Is A Dukla Prague Away Kithttps://open.spotify.com/track/5xB1t4lQyQyNey5CabsSZ7
(There are still 20 days until 🎄 #Christmas) -
“It’s Cliched To Be Cynical At Christmas”
Now how did I guess
You were going to express
Your disdain at the crane
With the bright fairy lights
And you’d moan at the snow
‘Cos your car wouldn’t go
Oh it’s cliched
To be cynical
At ChristmasYou don’t have a tree
And your smile has a fee
All the same, here’s a card
For your boring facade
Jingle Bells, piney smells
All the boys and the girls
Say it’s cliched
To be cynical
At Christmas
Oh it’s cliched
To be cynical
At Christmas -
Good morning. This young lady was so pleased with her Half Man Half Biscuit Musical Map of Great Britain that she also brought the new Sardines poster. Now she’s telling her WhatsApp group all about it. They think she’s a bit bonkers, but, you know, that’s Abigail all over. They’ll discuss it further when she brings them over to the pub tonight. xx
https://www.edwardphilips.co.uk
#art #wallart #sardines #design #humor #halfmanhalfbiscuit #pub
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I’m pleased to announce that for the Half Man Half Biscuit fan who thinks they have everything,a new HMHB map of the UK has arrived with over 200 locations mentioned in their inimitable lyrics. Something for the weekend? Oh, yes, I think so. xx
#music #maps #wirral #halfmanhalfbiscuit #handmade #design #uk #punk #postpunk
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“Twenty Four Hour Garage People”
I fancy I’ll open a stationer’s
Stock quaint notepads for weekend pagans
While you were out at The Rollright Stones
I came and set fire to your shed
‘Cos you probably work at an all-night garage
You probably work at an all-night garage
You probably work at an all-night garage
With Talk Radio on -
Biscuits, pizza and Scottish culture
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“Albert Hammond bootleg”
Talking to a girl on the south coast of France
She was on an 18-30 but I still took a chance
But on the last night ‘neath the stars of Marseilles
She said that Robin Askwith was funnyOh god how I longed for a dangerous wave
So I could surf myself towards an early grave
I would rather talk to plankton than to dance with you
I hope your plane back home’s a DC-10
#HMHB #HalfManHalfBiscuit -
Recorded #OnThisDay 26 years ago:
Half Man Half Biscuit - Peel Session 1999
The complete session recorded by Half Man Half Biscuit on 25 August 1999 for the John Peel show on BBC Radio 1 and broadcast on 9 September 1999.
Tracklist:
1. Uffington Wassail (2:19)
2. Gubba Look-alikes (5:55)
3. Bottleneck At Capel Curig (11:57)
4. Twenty Four Hour Garage People (15:07)https://vibracobra23.blogspot.com/2019/08/half-man-half-biscuit-peel-session-1999.html
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“Shit Arm, Bad Tattoo”
If you’re going to quote from the Book of Revelation
Don’t keep calling it the Book of Revelations
There’s no “s”, it’s the Book of Revelation
As revealed to St John the Divine
See also Mary Hopkin
She must despairYou’ve got a shit arm, and that’s a bad tattoo
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“The referee’s alphabet”
K is for the kissing of the badge
How ridiculous that looks 6 months later when they’re at another club -
@fesshole As is so often the case, #HalfManHalfBiscuit have already satirised this. #HMHB
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“Upon Westminster Bridge”
If Jesus came to Earth today
They’d crucify him straight away
Upon a cross of MDF
And they’d use No Need For NailsShip-shape farmhouse
Dry stone wall chart
Cash-back foot spa
Straight down Ladbrokes
Low cost school trip
Ramraid Oxfam
“Christ that sun’s hot”
Yes that’s right sirOh help me Mrs Medlicott
I don’t know what to do
I’ve only got three bullets
And there’s four of Motley Crue
#hmhb #HalfManHalfBiscuit -
“Horror Clowns Are Dickheads”
Horror Clowns are dickheads
You know it’s true
And if you’ve got a phobia of them
You’re a dickhead too
Don’t go worrying and don’t be wary
They have never been remotely scary
Hardly M.R. James
Hardly Edgar Allan Poe
Get a decent mob together
They don’t wanna know -
Trumpton Riots
🎶making plans to assassinate our autocratic mayor tonight🎶
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Time Flies By When You're The Driver of a Train
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New Half Man Half Biscuit is always good news
And a new album next month
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Very happy 16km today on #OffasDykePath finishing at https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bwlch_Penbarras
Loving the #Halfmanhalfbiscuit connection -
Very happy 16km today on #OffasDykePath finishing at https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bwlch_Penbarras
Loving the #Halfmanhalfbiscuit connection -
Very happy 16km today on #OffasDykePath finishing at https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bwlch_Penbarras
Loving the #Halfmanhalfbiscuit connection -
Very happy 16km today on #OffasDykePath finishing at https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bwlch_Penbarras
Loving the #Halfmanhalfbiscuit connection -
Very happy 16km today on #OffasDykePath finishing at https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bwlch_Penbarras
Loving the #Halfmanhalfbiscuit connection -
Is there a crossover between #Shriekback and #HalfManHalfBiscuit fans? They're a similar vintage, different styles of music but both using fairly complex lyrics full of cultural references. I love them both.
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“The Ballad of Climie Fisher”
Now here comes a story that’s never been told
About the turbulent demise of Climie Fisher
They had their success and they went separate ways
Fisher went to work as a researcher for the BBC Education Department; rented a flat in Norbury, South London.
Climie moved into the gravel business, with his brother.
Theirs was the place to go for White Dolomite and Canterbury Spur.
It was a small but profitable operation, specialised in large driveways.
Top of the range was called a “Hadleigh”; so named after the TV series.
Now keep this in mind
Fisher hates gravel
And Fisher hates shale
It goes right through him
#hmhb #HalfManHalfBiscuit -
“Shit Arm, Bad Tattoo”
If you’re going to quote from the Book of Revelation
Don’t keep calling it the Book of Revelations
There’s no “s”, it’s the Book of Revelation
As revealed to St John the Divine
See also Mary Hopkin
She must despairYou’ve got a shit arm, and that’s a bad tattoo
You’ve got a shit arm, and that’s a bad tattoo -
Much hilarity just now when I mistook the words of #Levellers song #PlasticJeezus for #PlasticCheeses...husband does work at a posh cheese shop so would not be surprised! In my defence husband had just been listening to a very random playlist including the likes of #HalfManHalfBiscuit #LancashireHotPots #TomLehrer and #BiscuitHeadAndTheBiscuitBadgers before switching to the album #LevellingTheLand 🧀✝️ https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=iahEhdV-oYU&si=X0DUW_H8Enx-DDU2&feature=xapp_share
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Much hilarity just now when I mistook the words of #Levellers song #PlasticJeezus for #PlasticCheeses...husband does work at a posh cheese shop so would not be surprised! In my defence husband had just been listening to a very random playlist including the likes of #HalfManHalfBiscuit #LancashireHotPots #TomLehrer and #BiscuitHeadAndTheBiscuitBadgers before switching to the album #LevellingTheLand 🧀✝️ https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=iahEhdV-oYU&si=X0DUW_H8Enx-DDU2&feature=xapp_share
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Much hilarity just now when I mistook the words of #Levellers song #PlasticJeezus for #PlasticCheeses...husband does work at a posh cheese shop so would not be surprised! In my defence husband had just been listening to a very random playlist including the likes of #HalfManHalfBiscuit #LancashireHotPots #TomLehrer and #BiscuitHeadAndTheBiscuitBadgers before switching to the album #LevellingTheLand 🧀✝️ https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=iahEhdV-oYU&si=X0DUW_H8Enx-DDU2&feature=xapp_share
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Much hilarity just now when I mistook the words of #Levellers song #PlasticJeezus for #PlasticCheeses...husband does work at a posh cheese shop so would not be surprised! In my defence husband had just been listening to a very random playlist including the likes of #HalfManHalfBiscuit #LancashireHotPots #TomLehrer and #BiscuitHeadAndTheBiscuitBadgers before switching to the album #LevellingTheLand 🧀✝️ https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=iahEhdV-oYU&si=X0DUW_H8Enx-DDU2&feature=xapp_share
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Much hilarity just now when I mistook the words of #Levellers song #PlasticJeezus for #PlasticCheeses...husband does work at a posh cheese shop so would not be surprised! In my defence husband had just been listening to a very random playlist including the likes of #HalfManHalfBiscuit #LancashireHotPots #TomLehrer and #BiscuitHeadAndTheBiscuitBadgers before switching to the album #LevellingTheLand 🧀✝️ https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=iahEhdV-oYU&si=X0DUW_H8Enx-DDU2&feature=xapp_share
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People who like #TVPersonalities or #CampervanBeethoven or #HalfManHalfBiscuit should check out:
#neutrals »Gary Borthwick Says« (2022)
Also on bandcamp. #punk #indie #postpunk -
CW: Twenty Four Hour Garage People
“I fancy I’ll open a stationer’s
Stock quaint notepads for weekend pagans
While you were out at The Rollright Stones
I came and set fire to your shed
‘Cos you probably work at an all-night garage
You probably work at an all-night garage
You probably work at an all-night garage
With Talk Radio on”
#halfmanhalfbiscuit #hmhb #StandingStonesSunday