#stevemartin — Public Fediverse posts

What’s for supper?

Rojie asks:

If you had a personal chef, what would you make him/her create for you?

Desserts. Lots of delicious desserts that look like chocolate and smell like chocolate and taste like chocolate and smear all over my fingers and lips like chocolate that have lots of protein and no fat or artificial sweeteners or calories

I like to cook a lot but I don’t really have the time to cook what I’d want, and often when it gets close to dinnertime I’m too tired to start making something exciting. So with a personal chef I’d have them make dinners that I’d like to make. I’d have them make dinners that were plant-based with 40 grams of protein and using no oil in the process.

And now that I’m thinking about it, my personal chef will have to make those dinners with no fresh vegetables or fruit because I’m fine being paranoid about Cyclospora and not taking chances. I don’t like the word “explosive” to precede any bodily function that might happen to me after eating food. So everything will have to be cooked until 158°F (70°C), or until we, as a nation, come to our senses and realize just how important Federal health agencies are to… I don’t know, health? Safety? People? Life? The US response to the worst Cyclospora outbreak in history? Put a ‘major tariff on Mexico because of the lettuce’. Apparently that was supposed to be a joke but with nearly 12,000 people sick and more states added to the list, it’s not funny. It’s about as funny as threatening to put a “big tariff” on Canada because of wildfire smoke crossing the border.

I guess when one’s diet consists of red meat, fast food, sweets and pop (or soda to you folks that live in a different part of the country than I do and don’t know that pop is the correct word for pop), protecting 340+ million people from a foodborne parasite might not be high on their to-do list. Just scrape that lettuce off the Big Mac and you’re good to go.

And speaking of tariffs, where are the $2,000 tariff dividend checks? What’s that? In the mail? Got it.

And still speaking of tariffs, the US supposedly collected $194 billion dollars – look at all the zeroes: $194,000,000,000 – from tariffs in 2025. With that kind of money lying around, why did the US House – right before their month-long vacation – have to approve an additional $95 billion for the war in Iran this past Wednesday? Why not just take it out of $194 billion? It’ll be equal parts interesting and nauseating watching what happens when the US Senate votes on it. They probably take a month-long vacation too, who knows.

When’s the last time you had a month-long vacation? I quit a job once and took a three year vacation but that’s another story.

Well, this went a little off the topic so it’s time to stop. But what a way to work up an appetite! Now it’s time to go eat breakfast. I wonder what I have that’s still safe to eat and won’t cause explosive anything?

Changes are always gradual, but Tuesday November 3rd will be here sooner than you think.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sgiCS2Yj6l8

Review: “Zurbarán” at the National Gallery in London

Francisco de Zurbarán, Agnus Dei, c. 1635-1640. Oil on canvas, 37.3 x 62 cm. Otero Herranz, …
#London #UnitedKingdom #UK #GB #England #Headlines #News #Europe #EU #ArtReviews #Artists #Arts #BernardinodeVillegas #Britain #Caravaggio #DiegoVelau0301zquez #ElGreco #Exhibitions #FranciscodeGoya #FranciscodeZurbaran #GreatBritain #london #Museums #NationalGalleryLondon #painting #PeterSchjeldahl #SteveMartin
https://www.europesays.com/uk/1020626/

Review: “Zurbarán” at the National Gallery in London

Francisco de Zurbarán, Agnus Dei, c. 1635-1640. Oil on canvas, 37.3 x 62 cm. Otero Herranz, Alberto ©…
#UnitedKingdom #UK #Europe #EU #ArtReviews #artists #Arts #BernardinodeVillegas #caravaggio #DiegoVelau0301zquez #elgreco #Exhibitions #FranciscodeGoya #FranciscoDeZurbaran #GreatBritain #Museums #NationalGalleryLondon #painting #PeterSchjeldahl #SteveMartin
https://www.europesays.com/3056356/

https://www.europesays.com/uk/1020626/ Review: “Zurbarán” at the National Gallery in London #ArtReviews #Artists #Arts #BernardinoDeVillegas #Britain #Caravaggio #DiegoVelau0301zquez #ElGreco #England #Exhibitions #FranciscoDeGoya #FranciscoDeZurbaran #GreatBritain #london #Museums #NationalGalleryLondon #painting #PeterSchjeldahl #SteveMartin #UK #UnitedKingdom

‘Mixed Nuts’ 30 Years Later: Delia Ephron Is “Completely Shocked” At 1994 Christmas Flop’s Cult Status
#News #Anniversary #Christmas #DeliaEphron #Exclusive #MixedNuts #NoraEphron #SteveMartin

https://deadline.com/2024/12/mixed-nuts-30-years-later-delia-ephron-completely-shocked-1994-christmas-flop-cult-status-1236240234/

M. Emmet Walsh, Actor in ‘Blood Simple’ and ‘Blade Runner,’ Dies at 88
#MovieNews #Movies #BladeRunner #EthanCoen #JoelCoen #Obituaries #SteveMartin

https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/movies/movie-news/m-emmet-walsh-dead-blood-simple-blade-runner-actor-was-88-1235856934/

Only Murders in the Building, season 3, showstopping fun https://oldaintdead.com/only-murders-in-the-building-season-3-showstopping-fun/ ##eldersrock, #AndreaMartin, #DaVineJoyRandolph, #JackieHoffman, #JaneLynch, #JeremyShamos, #JesseWilliams, #MartinShort, #MatthewBroderick, #MerylStreep, #MichaelCyrilCreighton, #OnlyMurdersInTheBuilding, #PaulRudd, #Season3, #SelenaGomez, #SteveMartin, #TinaFey, #WesleyTaylor