#oldjoke — Public Fediverse posts

@nancywisser When will the cigars be ripe? #oldJoke

@nancywisser When will the cigars be ripe? #oldJoke

@ai6yr “Coffee break’s over! Everyone back on your heads!” #OldJoke #IYKYK

@ai6yr “Coffee break’s over! Everyone back on your heads!” #OldJoke #IYKYK

[Londo Mollari voice]

Feh. The Ides of March is not just about killing would-be tyrants. It is about killing would-be tyrants *together*!

#Babylon5
#OldJoke

Tomorrow will be #Muggy, followed by #Tuggy, #Wuggy, and #Thuggy.

#WeatherForecast #OldJoke

Sometimes the old ones are the best ones. No, not *those* Old Ones.

A British "great explorer" type is deep in the interior of a continent largely as-yet-unexplored by Europeans. He has local guides taking him through the (pick one:) jungle/savanna/mountains/swamps, when suddenly they hear the beat of drums.

"What do the drums mean?" he asks.

"Drums very bad," the guide replies. "But when drums stop, much worse."

"What happens when the drums stop?" he asks.

"Bass solo."

#OldJoke #joke

Sometimes the old ones are the best ones. No, not *those* Old Ones.

A British "great explorer" type is deep in the interior of a continent largely as-yet-unexplored by Europeans. He has local guides taking him through the (pick one:) jungle/savanna/mountains/swamps, when suddenly they hear the beat of drums.

"What do the drums mean?" he asks.

"Drums very bad," the guide replies. "But when drums stop, much worse."

"What happens when the drums stop?" he asks.

"Bass solo."

#OldJoke #joke

My new #mattress. I hope that removing these won't get me into trouble with the law. Also, the cleaning instructions area interesting. #OldJoke

My new #mattress. I hope that removing these won't get me into trouble with the law. Also, the cleaning instructions area interesting. #OldJoke

A turtle is crossing the road when he’s mugged by two snails. When the police show up, they ask him what happened. The shaken turtle replies, “I don’t know. It all happened so fast. #oldjoke

@Alice Every 10 years, the monks in the monastery are allowed to break their vow of silence to speak two words. Ten years go by and it’s one monk’s first chance. He thinks for a second before saying, “Food bad.”
Ten years later, he says, “Bed hard.”
It’s the big day, a decade later. He gives the head monk a long stare and says, “I quit.”
“I’m not surprised,” the head monk says. “You’ve been complaining ever since you got here.” #oldjoke

@Swede1952 @CosmicBlaze Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. #oldjoke

@Swede1952 @CosmicBlaze Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. #oldjoke

@matsyendrasana

A black greyhound???

Was he looking for a cheaper licence?

#OldJoke #HaveToBeACertainAge
#BWTVLicenses

@matsyendrasana

A black greyhound???

Was he looking for a cheaper licence?

#OldJoke #HaveToBeACertainAge
#BWTVLicenses

@clickhere @Cbfoley it caused a million euro worth of improvement.

#OldJoke

@clickhere @Cbfoley it caused a million euro worth of improvement.

#OldJoke

Saw this life-size replica in a display for Halo in Oxford St, London. Looks like a Puma

#OldJoke #RedVsBlue

@geordie those poison mushrooms will do it almost every time and for the rest there’s the cast iron frypan. #OldJoke

@geordie those poison mushrooms will do it almost every time and for the rest there’s the cast iron frypan. #OldJoke

@ruleofthree @supernovae

Very carefully...

😎

#HowDoHedgehogsMakeBabies
#OldJoke
#SorryNotSorry
#UniverseodonRocks

Oh, Give me a home,
Where buffalo roam,
And I'll give you a messy carpet and lots of broken crockery. #oldjoke

Oh, Give me a home,
Where buffalo roam,
And I'll give you a messy carpet and lots of broken crockery. #oldjoke

Because when you’re impotent, you gotta dress like you’re impotent. #oldjoke

Because when you’re impotent, you gotta dress like you’re impotent. #oldjoke

@IcyGrillz Hey dude! There’s a string hanging out of you shorts! Oh wait, that’s your leg...
#oldjoke