#lostconnections — Public Fediverse posts

My first single is now available at the usual places you get music nowadays. Serophos - Lines between the stars #ebm #futurepop #release #lostconnections. https://open.spotify.com/intl-de/album/5qL7hJMvHfVXQFgYtE8DQl?utm_campaign=website&utm_medium=Email+&utm_source=SendGrid

Faces glow with screens,
silent hands reach for more, yet
hearts remain untouched.

@consciousliving
@haiku

#DigitalIsolation #SelfishConsumption #LostConnections #ModernLoneliness #ScreenAddiction #ConsumerCulture #DisconnectedSociety #EmptyHandsFull

Faces glow with screens,
silent hands reach for more, yet
hearts remain untouched.

@consciousliving
@haiku

#DigitalIsolation #SelfishConsumption #LostConnections #ModernLoneliness #ScreenAddiction #ConsumerCulture #DisconnectedSociety #EmptyHandsFull

Faces glow with screens,
silent hands reach for more, yet
hearts remain untouched.

@consciousliving
@haiku

#DigitalIsolation #SelfishConsumption #LostConnections #ModernLoneliness #ScreenAddiction #ConsumerCulture #DisconnectedSociety #EmptyHandsFull

Faces glow with screens,
silent hands reach for more, yet
hearts remain untouched.

@consciousliving
@haiku

#DigitalIsolation #SelfishConsumption #LostConnections #ModernLoneliness #ScreenAddiction #ConsumerCulture #DisconnectedSociety #EmptyHandsFull

Faces glow with screens,
silent hands reach for more, yet
hearts remain untouched.

@consciousliving
@haiku

#DigitalIsolation #SelfishConsumption #LostConnections #ModernLoneliness #ScreenAddiction #ConsumerCulture #DisconnectedSociety #EmptyHandsFull

4/🤔 You seemed to care about my choices on career, beliefs, and life path, yet gave up anyway. Why? Why concern yourself with my major or job? It's clear my life choices never truly mattered to you. #LostConnections

4/🤔 You seemed to care about my choices on career, beliefs, and life path, yet gave up anyway. Why? Why concern yourself with my major or job? It's clear my life choices never truly mattered to you. #LostConnections

4/🤔 You seemed to care about my choices on career, beliefs, and life path, yet gave up anyway. Why? Why concern yourself with my major or job? It's clear my life choices never truly mattered to you. #LostConnections

4/🤔 You seemed to care about my choices on career, beliefs, and life path, yet gave up anyway. Why? Why concern yourself with my major or job? It's clear my life choices never truly mattered to you. #LostConnections

In the mid- to late 1980s in New Brunswick, when I was still a Jehovah’s Witness kid, I was friends with another JW kid named Julie Nahornov. Her dad’s name was Nick, and she had a big sister named Mona.

She was really cool, and probably one of my only friends, though I didn’t get to hang out with her much. She introduced me to the kind of music my parents didn’t listen to: Prince, The Dead Milkmen, Madonna, etc. She was the first person to ever make me a mixtape.

We used to go exploring in the forest together. I had very few friends growing up, so to have someone like this was very special and meaningful to me.

She moved away and I lost track of her. The last I heard, she was somewhere out in the prairie provinces on a horse ranch which produced pee for birth control pills or perm solution. Maybe both. Every few years I try to look her up, but I’ve never seen a sign of her online. She’d be in her early 50s now.

Wherever she is, I hope she’s doing well. #LostConnections #Memories #friendship

In the mid- to late 1980s in New Brunswick, when I was still a Jehovah’s Witness kid, I was friends with another JW kid named Julie Nahornov. Her dad’s name was Nick, and she had a big sister named Mona.

She was really cool, and probably one of my only friends, though I didn’t get to hang out with her much. She introduced me to the kind of music my parents didn’t listen to: Prince, The Dead Milkmen, Madonna, etc. She was the first person to ever make me a mixtape.

We used to go exploring in the forest together. I had very few friends growing up, so to have someone like this was very special and meaningful to me.

She moved away and I lost track of her. The last I heard, she was somewhere out in the prairie provinces on a horse ranch which produced pee for birth control pills or perm solution. Maybe both. Every few years I try to look her up, but I’ve never seen a sign of her online. She’d be in her early 50s now.

Wherever she is, I hope she’s doing well. #LostConnections #Memories #friendship

In the mid- to late 1980s in New Brunswick, when I was still a Jehovah’s Witness kid, I was friends with another JW kid named Julie Nahornov. Her dad’s name was Nick, and she had a big sister named Mona.

She was really cool, and probably one of my only friends, though I didn’t get to hang out with her much. She introduced me to the kind of music my parents didn’t listen to: Prince, The Dead Milkmen, Madonna, etc. She was the first person to ever make me a mixtape.

We used to go exploring in the forest together. I had very few friends growing up, so to have someone like this was very special and meaningful to me.

She moved away and I lost track of her. The last I heard, she was somewhere out in the prairie provinces on a horse ranch which produced pee for birth control pills or perm solution. Maybe both. Every few years I try to look her up, but I’ve never seen a sign of her online. She’d be in her early 50s now.

Wherever she is, I hope she’s doing well. #LostConnections #Memories #friendship

In the mid- to late 1980s in New Brunswick, when I was still a Jehovah’s Witness kid, I was friends with another JW kid named Julie Nahornov. Her dad’s name was Nick, and she had a big sister named Mona.

She was really cool, and probably one of my only friends, though I didn’t get to hang out with her much. She introduced me to the kind of music my parents didn’t listen to: Prince, The Dead Milkmen, Madonna, etc. She was the first person to ever make me a mixtape.

We used to go exploring in the forest together. I had very few friends growing up, so to have someone like this was very special and meaningful to me.

She moved away and I lost track of her. The last I heard, she was somewhere out in the prairie provinces on a horse ranch which produced pee for birth control pills or perm solution. Maybe both. Every few years I try to look her up, but I’ve never seen a sign of her online. She’d be in her early 50s now.

Wherever she is, I hope she’s doing well. #LostConnections #Memories #friendship

In the mid- to late 1980s in New Brunswick, when I was still a Jehovah’s Witness kid, I was friends with another JW kid named Julie Nahornov. Her dad’s name was Nick, and she had a big sister named Mona.

She was really cool, and probably one of my only friends, though I didn’t get to hang out with her much. She introduced me to the kind of music my parents didn’t listen to: Prince, The Dead Milkmen, Madonna, etc. She was the first person to ever make me a mixtape.

We used to go exploring in the forest together. I had very few friends growing up, so to have someone like this was very special and meaningful to me.

She moved away and I lost track of her. The last I heard, she was somewhere out in the prairie provinces on a horse ranch which produced pee for birth control pills or perm solution. Maybe both. Every few years I try to look her up, but I’ve never seen a sign of her online. She’d be in her early 50s now.

Wherever she is, I hope she’s doing well. #LostConnections #Memories #friendship

#读书
2021 年看过的书就这样了吧，45 本 11704 页，依旧还有很多书想看。。
今年的选书不是很成功，很多书都是看到一些人猛推才去看的，结果看了一点儿也不喜欢，而且总是抱着一种“可能好看的在后面”的想法硬是看完了，结果最后果然还是不喜欢。。2022 年希望自己能够早点弃掉不喜欢的书，多看自己想看的。
接下来是一些私人猛推，tag 点进去是我的摘抄，要再点进原文才能看到串：

1. #DerKönigVerneigtSichUndTötet 我觉得 Herta Müller 真的很好，她的语言和视角非常独特。她出生于罗马尼亚一个说德语的村庄，来到德国之后说的也并不是德国人的德语。对于我这种身在国外而且对语言感兴趣的人，她的很多对语言的思考和观察让我觉得非常亲切。Der König verneigt sich und tötet 应该算是散文集，里面提到了一些她其它书的写作思路和背景，#Herztier （心兽）是我 2020 年看的，那本是小说，我觉得也非常不错，政治压迫敏感的人应该有共鸣。2022 年打算继续看她的书。
2. #МоскваПетушки 又名 Die Reise nach Petuschki/ Moscow to the End of the Line/ 从莫斯科到佩图什基。是一本题材和写作手法都非常独到的书。德语版的封面上写着 Die hochprozentigste Sauftour der Weltliteratur, 概括得非常准确，整本书写的就是主人公在从莫斯科到佩图什基的火车上不断喝酒，讲一些非常深刻幽默的胡话。很神奇的是书里主角最后的命运也预测了作者在现实生活里的命运，可能是作者早有预感。
3. #TheLongGoodbye 钱德勒写的，可能是我推的这几本里剧情性最强的，cp 很好嗑，主角非常闷骚，虽然是第一人称视角但几乎没有心理描写，所有的情绪都在主角的行动以及和他人的对话中，所以细节非常丰满，故事也很精彩。是侦探小说，但我认为并不算推理小说，因为没有怎么给线索，都是主角自己有了一个猜测然后就去验证。
4. #红拂夜奔 是今年看过的最满意的中文小说！主人公是一个数学家，在写一本古代的小说，一边讲他的小说一边穿插着他证数学定理的过程，两种叙事融合在一起，在奇妙的地方交叉。王小波真的很棒，看问题很透彻，而且他说的很多话在今天也完全适用，感觉中国其实没有怎么变。就是某些关于女性的性描写还是让我不太舒服。。
5. Eine Woche voller Samstage 这应该算一个搞笑奖了吧，因为其实剩下的看过的书都没有那──么好了。这是本很轻松幽默的经典童书，看起来挺快的。忘记摘抄了，但真的非常有意思，逻辑很胡扯但又很自洽。

此外还想推荐一下几本对心理健康很有帮助的书：#HowEmotionsAreMade，讲情绪的来源， #TheWillpowerInstinct，讲提升自制力但，#LostConnections，讲抑郁症的。
今年读过的一些烂书：#Averno，#DasGlasperlenspiel （非常主观的评价）

#读书
2021 年看过的书就这样了吧，45 本 11704 页，依旧还有很多书想看。。
今年的选书不是很成功，很多书都是看到一些人猛推才去看的，结果看了一点儿也不喜欢，而且总是抱着一种“可能好看的在后面”的想法硬是看完了，结果最后果然还是不喜欢。。2022 年希望自己能够早点弃掉不喜欢的书，多看自己想看的。
接下来是一些私人猛推，tag 点进去是我的摘抄，要再点进原文才能看到串：

1. #DerKönigVerneigtSichUndTötet 我觉得 Herta Müller 真的很好，她的语言和视角非常独特。她出生于罗马尼亚一个说德语的村庄，来到德国之后说的也并不是德国人的德语。对于我这种身在国外而且对语言感兴趣的人，她的很多对语言的思考和观察让我觉得非常亲切。Der König verneigt sich und tötet 应该算是散文集，里面提到了一些她其它书的写作思路和背景，#Herztier （心兽）是我 2020 年看的，那本是小说，我觉得也非常不错，政治压迫敏感的人应该有共鸣。2022 年打算继续看她的书。
2. #МоскваПетушки 又名 Die Reise nach Petuschki/ Moscow to the End of the Line/ 从莫斯科到佩图什基。是一本题材和写作手法都非常独到的书。德语版的封面上写着 Die hochprozentigste Sauftour der Weltliteratur, 概括得非常准确，整本书写的就是主人公在从莫斯科到佩图什基的火车上不断喝酒，讲一些非常深刻幽默的胡话。很神奇的是书里主角最后的命运也预测了作者在现实生活里的命运，可能是作者早有预感。
3. #TheLongGoodbye 钱德勒写的，可能是我推的这几本里剧情性最强的，cp 很好嗑，主角非常闷骚，虽然是第一人称视角但几乎没有心理描写，所有的情绪都在主角的行动以及和他人的对话中，所以细节非常丰满，故事也很精彩。是侦探小说，但我认为并不算推理小说，因为没有怎么给线索，都是主角自己有了一个猜测然后就去验证。
4. #红拂夜奔 是今年看过的最满意的中文小说！主人公是一个数学家，在写一本古代的小说，一边讲他的小说一边穿插着他证数学定理的过程，两种叙事融合在一起，在奇妙的地方交叉。王小波真的很棒，看问题很透彻，而且他说的很多话在今天也完全适用，感觉中国其实没有怎么变。就是某些关于女性的性描写还是让我不太舒服。。
5. Eine Woche voller Samstage 这应该算一个搞笑奖了吧，因为其实剩下的看过的书都没有那──么好了。这是本很轻松幽默的经典童书，看起来挺快的。忘记摘抄了，但真的非常有意思，逻辑很胡扯但又很自洽。

此外还想推荐一下几本对心理健康很有帮助的书：#HowEmotionsAreMade，讲情绪的来源， #TheWillpowerInstinct，讲提升自制力但，#LostConnections，讲抑郁症的。
今年读过的一些烂书：#Averno，#DasGlasperlenspiel （非常主观的评价）

“Brett Ford [...] with her colleagues Maya Tamir and Iris Mauss [...] They wanted to know: Does trying consciously to make yourself happier actually work? If you decided—today, now—to dedicate more of your life to deliberately seeking out happiness, would you actually be happier a week from now, or a year from now? The team studied this question in four countries: the United States, Russia (at two different locations), Japan, and Taiwan. They tracked thousands of people, some of whom had decided to deliberately pursue happiness and some of whom hadn’t.
When they compared the results, they found something they had not expected. If you deliberately try to become happy, you will not become happier—if you live in the United States. But if you live in Russia, Japan, or Taiwan, you will become happier. Why, they next wanted to know, would that be?
Social scientists have known for a long time that—to put it crudely—there is a significant difference between how we think of ourselves in Western societies and how people in most of Asia conceive of themselves.
[...]
in the West, we mostly have an individualistic way of looking at life. In Asia, they mostly have a collective way of looking at life.
[...]
If you decide to pursue happiness in the United States or Britain, you pursue it for yourself—because you think that’s how it works. You do what I did most of the time: you get stuff for yourself, you rack up achievement for yourself, you build up your own ego. But if you consciously pursue happiness in Russia or Japan or China, you do something quite different. You try to make things better for your group—for the people around you. That’s what you think happiness means, so it seems obvious to you. These are fundamentally conflicting visions of what it means to become happier. And it turns out—for all the reasons I described earlier—that our Western version of happiness doesn’t actually work—whereas the collectivist vision of happiness does.
[...]
In fact, this search for individual solutions is part of what got us into this problem in the first place. We have become imprisoned inside our own egos, walled off where true connection cannot reach us. I started to think of one of the most banal, obvious clichés we have: Be you. Be yourself. We say it to one another all the time. We share memes about it. We say it to encourage people when they are lost, or down. Even our shampoo bottles tell us—because you’re worth it.
But what I was being taught is—if you want to stop being depressed, don’t be you. Don’t be yourself. Don’t fixate on how you’re worth it. It’s thinking about you, you, you that’s helped to make you feel so lousy. Don’t be you. Be us. Be we. Be part of the group. Make the group worth it. The real path to happiness, they were telling me, comes from dismantling our ego walls—from letting yourself flow into other people’s stories and letting their stories flow into yours; from pooling your identity, from realizing that you were never you—alone, heroic, sad—all along.
No, don’t be you. Be connected with everyone around you. Be part of the whole. Don’t strive to be the guy addressing the crowd. Strive to be the crowd.
So part of overcoming our depression and anxiety—the first step, and one of the most crucial—is coming together.”

#LostConnections #读书
其实我去当义工也是我努力想变快乐的一步，想要去帮助别人，认识更多的人。和我一起工作的同事仿佛知道每一个借阅者的名字，热情地和他们打招呼聊天，连我这个初来乍到的人的借阅号都记得清清楚楚，好像真的这里就是一个大家庭。我觉得这个方法会有用的。
不过还不知道我下一次什么时候排班诶 :aru_0090:

在读 #TheWillpowerInstinct, 关于提高自制力的，本来我读这本书是想让自己专注工作&少玩手机&不要赖床，结果几乎每一章都在举节食的例子。当然 overeat 确实是一个自制力不足的体现，但是书里举例子的语气和频率仿佛作者默认大家都需要节食，默认巧克力和蛋糕就是应该回避的，让我感到有些疑惑，现代（美国？）人 overeat 到这个程度吗？而且我认识的好多女生身材明明很好，都跟我谈过节食，而且从我朋友的描述来看，好像社会在默认女性需要节食。。
这本书有在谈怎么通过自身努力拒绝 overeat，我在看的另一本书 #LostConnections 就在谈社会因素如何导致如此多的人 overeat，还蛮有意思的。进化原因导致了人本身就是有自制力缺陷的，如果我们生活在一个理想环境里，不需要太多的自制也能过得很好，但是在现代社会的压力下，对自制力的要求就更高了，所以缺乏自制力不一定是人本身的问题。（错的不是我，是这个世界（

«On the day the wall came down, Taina was pushing her baby son in a buggy when she saw a couple of East German punks crawling through a hole in the wall. “Where’s the nearest record shop?” they asked her. “We want to buy punk records.” She replied: “There’s one very near, but I don’t think you have the money.” They asked her the price, and when she told them, their faces fell. Taina had almost no money at that time, but she opened her purse and gave them everything she had. “Hey, people,” she said. “Go. Go buy a punk record. »

#LostConnections

虽然柏林墙倒塌的故事已经看过很多了，但故事好像还是讲不完，每一个小人物都有故事。
（PS 每次书里或者电影里提到德国我都会激动一下下，德国可能真的是我的精神故乡。）

在 #LostConnections 里读到一句土耳其谚语：if the baby doesn’t cry, it doesn’t get the nipple.
这不就是会哭的孩子有奶吃吗 :aru_0080:

在 #LostConnections 里读到一句土耳其谚语：if the baby doesn’t cry, it doesn’t get the nipple.
这不就是会哭的孩子有奶吃吗 :aru_0080:

没有什么朋友或者熟人的好处就是我完全不会掉入消费主义的陷阱里，因为我周围的人没有在向我展示他们又买了什么好东西，我买了好东西也没有人可以展示，所以我现在买东西都是出于实用的个人需求，都是可以带来快乐和便捷的。有一段时间我痴迷买小裙子，是因为我确实喜欢好看的设计，而且总是有相关的广告在刺激我。但是买了一段时间之后，我发现多一件裙子不能给我多一点点的满足，于是我就干脆不买了，现在穿的其实也不多。
#LostConnections 里面提到追求物质是错误的方向，如果想要过得快乐，要多多追求 intrinsic motives, 就是能给你纯粹快乐的，比如玩耍、跳舞、弹琴（大概就是最近微博上关于艺术的必要性的讨论），少靠近 extrinsic motives, 比如一份你不喜欢但是很赚钱的工作。这种说法的前提仿佛是把追求快乐当成了最终目标，如果人生追求就是快乐的话，其实很多选择都会简单起来。我本科及之前对人生的追求就是快乐二字，觉得一切无意义所以开心就好。后来就渐渐摇摆起来，因为快乐好像只是一个模糊的目标，而非具体可以实现的事；我不知道怎样才是通往快乐的路径，是否有比快乐更重要的东西，比如实现自我价值。但是最近我的人生目标好像又摇摆回去了，我觉得快乐相当于一个可以和金钱作比较的价值，就像一个风向标可以时刻引导判断，而不仅仅是一个终极目标。除此之外，我对快乐也有了更多的理解。快乐不是一件自私的事，创造价值和帮助他人都可以获得快乐；快乐也不是及时行乐，有时候延迟满足能带来更大的快乐；获取纯粹的快乐也绝不是在浪费时间。

Has anyone else read #LostConnections by Johann Hari? It’s about uncovering the real causes of depression and anxiety. I read the first half and thought, hey this really sounds like a case for coops. Turns out in the second half he talks about coops!!!

Even better, anyone know Hari personally? I would LOVE to talk to him for my research.