#genderquest — Public Fediverse posts

One month since it crystallized in my mind that I'm a woman and began my transition.

Not the shadow of a doubt since. Instead, #TransJoy, lightness, less anxiety, even less physical strain. Occasional giddiness.

Yayyyy!

Hashtags follow.

#GenderQuest #GenderTransition #TransWoman #GenderEuphoria

One thing last night's dream prompted, but I was deliberately vague https://toot.cat/@naga/116845426632892190

I have a history of anorexia.

My transition probably increases my vulnerability to a relapse.

I'll need to keep an eye on that.

Fortunately, Jalan will keep an eye on me, too.

#GenderQuest

So my beard that I've had almost all of the time since 1989 started bugging me as a source of dysphoria (not yet identified) a few years ago, and got to be more of a conscious issue during #GenderQuest that started this year. I hadn't shaved because it adds a maintenance task made challenging by severe #MECFS and a moderate intention tremor.

Jalan shaved it off for me last week, and it's great. I can mostly maintain it with the flexible-head rotary shaver we got for my scalp a while back.

Clean-shaven isn't really specifically#TransJoy for me, but it's removing a source of dysphoria, so definitely a net positive.

Then I found out that if I now miss a day shaving, that degree of stubble is far, far worse for gender-feels than having a beard ever was.

Learning as I go, of course, like everyone.

#GenderQuest phase 2 begins.

As part of this process over time, I've been both remembering the past and realizing various current elements of #GenitalDysphoria

Specifically the steps I would take, especially in early adolescence, to suppress erections and ejaculation.

One of the tools I've been using recently is consistently wearing a condom in any scenario that might lead to ejaculation. I still experience the full orgasm, but there's nothing that's particularly visible (also no mess/residue, which figures in).

That's been working better than I expected. It already feels normal, not any kind of chore. And it feels good -- or, more accurately -- ejaculation doesn't detract from what feels good.

Erections are somewhat different. Not just in sexual activity, but tenting and so on. And just overall thinking of how to minimize my conscious awareness of my external genitals.

So I've started shopping for tuck/gaffe briefs. The goal is the "flat front," and to be reasonably resistant to being pushed out with an erection.

My health problems mean any means of addressing this have to be physically quite easy to implement.

Advice or product recommendations welcome from those who've traveled this road! (Or anyone else.)

Tags follow

#Transgender #Transition #TransWoman #GenderDysphoria #CrossDresser #CrossDressing

Just told Dragonlet.

Their coming out to us as nonbinary in December (8 at the time) had a lot to do with me re-examining my own gender.

For now, I've left it up to them if they want to keep calling me "Daddy," or try something else. I love their calling me that, and I don't need it to change now. I did say I might feel differently as all of this settles in, but for now its their choice.

Hashtags follow:

#GenderQuest #GenderTransition #QueerParenting

Jalan suggested thinking of how we celebrate.

I remembered that one grocery store we use has what they market as a "Celebration Cake," which has amused me for years, because under the white frosting it's layered in #TransPride colors.

In another topic that amuses me, my transition conveniently has no implications for how I think of my sexual orientation. #AcePride

#GenderQuest

Phase 1 of my #GenderQuest is complete. I have realized I am a woman, contrary to what I believed for 56 years and change. For now, I'm sticking with my the name I've gone by all my life, "Pat," as perhaps the most androgynous (shortened) given name in the English-speaking Western world.

This toot is the first public component of my transition.

No element of medical transition can or will ever happen due to my physical health, even aside from other barriers, and that's fine.

I don't yet know where GenderQuest will go from here. Presentation, shapewear, name and/or pronouns in different settings, I just don't know. I'll probably start shaving my face for the first time in over twenty years.

But I don't have to know. This is good for now.

Thank you all my friends for your support, to date and ongoing.

#Transgender #Transition #Transwoman #GenderIdentity #Hatching #Hatchling #Hatched

I can trace back some level of gender dysphoria to something like first grade, maybe kindergarten. Wishing I weren't a boy / wishing I were a girl.

It's a fucking half century later that I get to "maybe I'm not a boy / maybe I'm a girl."

Talking to my therapist about this last week, we realized that the awareness a white kid in the US South would have about gender non-conformity in the 1970s and 1980s was pretty much a small handful of celebrities who made it part of their persona. And peers who made it part of their routine set of slurs.

And the former we could sketch over in about 15 minutes of a session.

(Yes, I know now that much more was going on. But "white kid in the US South" is an important limiter. No need to fill me in about what I didn't know about at the time. The point in this post is my experience and the Half Century.)

#GenderQuest

TL;DR: Yep, I'm a woman.

As of 17-Jun-26, #GenderQuest is a set of threads related to my movement from cis man to demiman to considering being less man and possibly more woman than I'd thought before.

I'm pinning this with links to each of the thread starters, to edit as things progress.

Initial wondering (18-Feb-26): https://toot.cat/@naga/116091924889943010

Grief about GenderQuest and chronic illness (13-Mar-26): https://toot.cat/@naga/116223633843084229

Exploring potential womanhood (4-May-26): https://toot.cat/@naga/116517547558595303

Yep, I'm a woman (15-Jun-26): https://toot.cat/@naga/116750690409006999

Another limiting factor on #GenderQuest experimentation is that I just can't do much of any personal maintenance myself due to health.

I can't shave my beard (or my chest!) because there's no way either Jalan or I could maintain it.

I can start letting my hair grow, but Jalan forgot we'd just talked about this and gave me a buzz Saturday when I'd thought we were just trimming my beard.

And the beard certainly affects what I can do in the way of make-up.

But these are some ideas.

(3/3)

One other thing I've wondered about has to do with genitals and sexuality.

I don't like the looks of any genitals very much, but there's no dysphoria there.

I have a powerful kink for orgasm control, and I do not want to entangle these two things. My gender, whatever it turns out to be, isn't a kink and I want to keep that motivation out of it.

Enjoying touch isn't gendered, orgasm isn't particularly gendered, and to keep the kink out I don't want to entangle this with those.

What I'm looking at modifying in part is ejaculation -- as the "spray" is very much associated with a bio-dick.

So the idea is to go without the spray -- with Jalan's cooperation, wearing condoms every time there's a chance I'll have an orgasm. So I can still enjoy the touch, still enjoy the orgasm, but change the most male-coded expression of it.

This also lets Jalan control the sensual touch and my orgasms and chastity independently of the condom experiment.

I don't know that this will affect my experience of my gender, and I don't even really expect it to. But it's a thing I can try and it's easy and affordable.

Even though it's my idea, I am asking Jalan to use her D/s authority to not let me back off from it until and unless she judges it's been solidly tried and doesn't seem to alter anything for me.

(2/?)

#GenderQuest

Following up on my #GenderQuest threads (here https://toot.cat/@naga/116091924889943010 and here https://toot.cat/@naga/116223633843084229 )

Most recently, I shifted my identity label to demimale.

I've been looking at whether I might be less male / possibly more female than I'd been considering.

I do get some kind of euphoria from skirts in a couple specific styles, as well as just a general enjoyment of dressing femme. I also enjoy lip stain and nail polish, but I can't apply those myself (hand tremor).

So I've been brainstorming with Jalan's help what I can experiment with to see if it brings euphoria, with the caveat of being mostly bedbound and not having much spare money.

So I'm thinking of what I can try with low investment of money and physical energy. Before I test bigger-social-investment things like how I respond to pronouns other than he/him.

One is more clothing options. I'd like to try a dress--that would be new. Maybe another skirt or two in the style like I one I love.

Before that, though, I'll probably want to get some level of shaping. I can't wear anything that could interfere with movement, make me overheat, or impede using a plastic urinal.

I also need to allow for having a broad, hairy chest.

So I'm looking at the next purchase being some sponge breast forms and a full-coverage zip-front bra (a behind-the-back clasp is out of the question). I have a few blouses that look fine on a flat chest, but I want to see if having some curves under them feels good.

And I'd want to test that before picking a dress style or two to try, because whether I have chest curves under them might affect selection.

(1/?)