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“Gooser Dadburn, The Legend Rises” – A Comic Strip from the Old West – Part 3 of 12
<<< PREVIOUS COMIC STRIPChapter 3: The “Grand” Sights of Canyon City
Welcome back, Charmy’s Army fans! In today’s hilariously literal comic strip, Gooser Dadburn finds himself at the Coffee Saloon in Canyon City trying his absolute best to look like a hardened, serious frontier lawman. When asked by a local lady what brought him into town, Gooser passionately declares, “I’m looking to bring a killer to justice.” But instead of being met with awe, he gets met with total confusion when she assumes he’s just a stagecoach driver shuttling folks to “Justice”—a small town located just an hour down the road! To make matters worse, a couple of local barflies try to catch a ride with him because one horse is “in the shop” and the other is “lame.” Completely defeated by the town’s baffling literalism and absurd logistics, Gooser sums up his frustration in four perfect words: “THIS TOWN IS LAME.”
“High-Octane” Frontier Drama
Gooser threw his hands into the air, nearly knocking over his lukewarm mug of chicory coffee. “Lame! Unbelievably, undeniably, historically lame! I am an elite frontier tracker! I hunt desperadoes across unforgiving badlands! I don’t run a city transit line for broken-down livestock and folks who can’t read a map!”
The two old-timers at the end of the bar—Barnaby, whose hat looked like it had been chewed on by a goat, and Cletus, whose mustache drooped straight into his cup—puffed out their chests in collective offense.
“Now hold on just a minute there, stranger,” Barnaby grunted, leaning heavily against the wooden counter. “You can’t just walk into the fine establishment of Canyon City, drink our top-shelf brew, and go calling our fair settlement lame!”
“That’s right!” Cletus chimed in, pointing a crooked finger at Gooser’s eyepatch. “Canyon City happens to be the jewel of the territory! We’ve got culture, action, and high-octane frontier drama if you know where to look!”
Gooser rested his chin in his hand, squinting his single eye with deep skepticism. “High-octane frontier drama? Fellas, I’ve been in this town for two hours. The most exciting thing I’ve seen so far was a tumbleweed getting caught in a wagon wheel, and even the tumbleweed looked bored.”
World-Class Local Entertainment
“That tumbleweed was part of the semi-annual Canyon City Drag Race!” Barnaby argued proudly. “We line up three prime tumbleweeds at the top of Main Street, release ’em into the wind, and bet our hard-earned silver on which one hits the blacksmith shop first. Last month, ‘Old Dusty’ set a town record—three minutes and forty-two seconds! Folks came from miles around. Well, mostly from three doors down, but that’s still a crowd!”
Gooser blinked slowly. “You race dead plants. That is literally your town’s flagship sporting event.”
“It’s about the thrilling uncertainty of the wind!” Cletus insisted, waving his hands. “And if sports ain’t your thing, we’ve got world-class theatrical arts! Every Tuesday night, the mayor stands on a rain barrel in front of the dry goods store and imitates the sound of a startled mule. He’s got three distinct braying pitches! You won’t find that kind of artistic sophistication over in Tombstone or Deadwood!”
The Notorious Outlaws of Canyon City
“Unbelievable,” Gooser muttered, taking a slow, agonizing sip of coffee. “What about the danger? The crime? The ruthless outlaws that test a man’s true grit? Surely a town named ‘Canyon City’ has a bloodthirsty gang or two lurking in the shadows.”
Barnaby grinned, exposing a single gold tooth. “Oh, we got outlaws, alright! Meanest varmints you’ll ever lay eyes on. Ever hear of the terror known as ‘Slippery Pete’?”
Gooser perked up slightly, adjusting his eyepatch. “Slippery Pete? What’s his racket? Bank robberies? Stagecoach heists? Train derailments?”
“Worse,” Cletus whispered in a hushed, dramatic tone. “He sneaks onto folks’ porches at night… and swaps their left boots with their right boots! You wake up in the morning, try to walk to the outhouse, and BAM—you trip right over your own ankles! It’s psychological warfare! The Marshal has had a ‘Wanted’ poster up for him for six months, but Pete’s too slick. He leaves behind a single lemon drop at every crime scene just to mock us!”
Gooser stared at them in utter disbelief. “A boot-swapper. You are terrified of an outlaw whose signature crime is mild foot discomfort.”
“He also forgets to close the garden gates!” Barnaby added ominously. “The chickens get out! It’s utter bedlam!”
State-of-the-Art Horse Mechanics
Gooser rubbed his temples, feeling a headache coming on. “Okay, fine. The crime is pathetic and the entertainment is a tragedy. But what about your local infrastructure? I heard someone say their horse is ‘in the shop.’ Since when does a horse go into a shop?!”
Cletus straightened his vest with pride. “That’s our state-of-the-art Livery & Mechanical Repair Barn! Zeke, our town mechanic, doesn’t just shoe horses—he upgrades ’em! My horse, Buttercup, was clunking around last week. Zeke hooked him up to a series of pulley systems, greased his horseshoes with bacon fat, and installed a leather cup holder right onto the saddle horn! He’s currently tuning up Barnaby’s gelding with a fresh set of brass bells so people know he’s coming three blocks away.”
“It’s called modern luxury,” Barnaby stated. “Though right now Zeke is holding the horse because he can’t figure out why it’s idling rough.”
“Horses don’t idle!” Gooser yelled, his voice cracking with exasperation. “They eat grass and stand there! This whole town is living in an alternate reality where logic went out the window!”
The “Grand” Canyon
“And don’t get us started on the scenery!” Cletus shouted back. “Look at the name! Canyon City! You think we got that name for nothin’?”
“Let me guess,” Gooser sighed. “There isn’t actually a canyon.”
“There is most definitely a canyon!” Barnaby declared. “Just behind the church! It’s a grand, sweeping geological wonder!”
“It’s a three-foot ditch caused by rain runoff last spring,” the lady in the blue dress chimed in from the counter, finally looking up from her tea. “A stray goat fell in last week and just walked right out.”
“It has vast potential for expansion!” Cletus barked defensively.
Gooser placed both hands on the bar counter, leaned his head down, and let out a long, heavy sigh. Out of all the wild west mysteries and dangerous territories he had explored as a tracker, Canyon City was proving to be the most grueling—not because of deadly gunslingers, but because the sheer, concentrated lameness of the town was wearing down his sanity.
He looked back up at the lady in the blue dress, his single blue eye filled with desperate resolve. “Lady… if you know where this killer went, please tell me he left Canyon City immediately.”
“Oh, he went up to Dead Man’s Gulch three days ago,” she replied casually.
“Thank goodness,” Gooser breathed. “A place with an actual intimidating name! I’m leaving right now before someone tries to sell me a horse with dual exhaust.”
He slapped a silver coin onto the counter, adjusted his cowboy hat over his bald head, and stomped toward the saloon doors—hoping against hope that the trail to justice would lead him far, far away from Canyon City.
Support Charmy’s Army on Patreon!
Creating the wacky, wild world of Charmy’s Army takes countless hours of drawing, inking, writing, and endless pots of fresh coffee! Whether Gooser Dadburn is running into walls, inventing crazy weapons, or getting stuck in the lamest town in the Old West, this independent comic strip thrives because of dedicated fans like you.
If you enjoy reading these weekly comic strips and extended story blogs, please consider supporting the page on Patreon!
When you become a Patreon supporter, you get exclusive access to:
- Early Comic Strip Releases: See new strips before they go public!
- Behind-the-Scenes Content: Sketches, hand-inked story drafts, and lore expansions.
- High-Res Art Downloads: Printable coloring pages, wallpaper backgrounds, and digital archives.
- Direct Creator Perks: Influence future story ideas and connect directly with creator Davy Jones!
Join the Army today on Patreon and help keep independent comic art alive and thriving! Thank you for reading and supporting!
Rate this:
#adventure #CharmySArmy #CharmysArmy #comicStrip #ComicStrips #Comics #hiking #nature #travel #Webcomics -
“Gooser Dadburn, The Legend Rises” – A Comic Strip from the Old West – Part 3 of 12
<<< PREVIOUS COMIC STRIPChapter 3: The “Grand” Sights of Canyon City
Welcome back, Charmy’s Army fans! In today’s hilariously literal comic strip, Gooser Dadburn finds himself at the Coffee Saloon in Canyon City trying his absolute best to look like a hardened, serious frontier lawman. When asked by a local lady what brought him into town, Gooser passionately declares, “I’m looking to bring a killer to justice.” But instead of being met with awe, he gets met with total confusion when she assumes he’s just a stagecoach driver shuttling folks to “Justice”—a small town located just an hour down the road! To make matters worse, a couple of local barflies try to catch a ride with him because one horse is “in the shop” and the other is “lame.” Completely defeated by the town’s baffling literalism and absurd logistics, Gooser sums up his frustration in four perfect words: “THIS TOWN IS LAME.”
“High-Octane” Frontier Drama
Gooser threw his hands into the air, nearly knocking over his lukewarm mug of chicory coffee. “Lame! Unbelievably, undeniably, historically lame! I am an elite frontier tracker! I hunt desperadoes across unforgiving badlands! I don’t run a city transit line for broken-down livestock and folks who can’t read a map!”
The two old-timers at the end of the bar—Barnaby, whose hat looked like it had been chewed on by a goat, and Cletus, whose mustache drooped straight into his cup—puffed out their chests in collective offense.
“Now hold on just a minute there, stranger,” Barnaby grunted, leaning heavily against the wooden counter. “You can’t just walk into the fine establishment of Canyon City, drink our top-shelf brew, and go calling our fair settlement lame!”
“That’s right!” Cletus chimed in, pointing a crooked finger at Gooser’s eyepatch. “Canyon City happens to be the jewel of the territory! We’ve got culture, action, and high-octane frontier drama if you know where to look!”
Gooser rested his chin in his hand, squinting his single eye with deep skepticism. “High-octane frontier drama? Fellas, I’ve been in this town for two hours. The most exciting thing I’ve seen so far was a tumbleweed getting caught in a wagon wheel, and even the tumbleweed looked bored.”
World-Class Local Entertainment
“That tumbleweed was part of the semi-annual Canyon City Drag Race!” Barnaby argued proudly. “We line up three prime tumbleweeds at the top of Main Street, release ’em into the wind, and bet our hard-earned silver on which one hits the blacksmith shop first. Last month, ‘Old Dusty’ set a town record—three minutes and forty-two seconds! Folks came from miles around. Well, mostly from three doors down, but that’s still a crowd!”
Gooser blinked slowly. “You race dead plants. That is literally your town’s flagship sporting event.”
“It’s about the thrilling uncertainty of the wind!” Cletus insisted, waving his hands. “And if sports ain’t your thing, we’ve got world-class theatrical arts! Every Tuesday night, the mayor stands on a rain barrel in front of the dry goods store and imitates the sound of a startled mule. He’s got three distinct braying pitches! You won’t find that kind of artistic sophistication over in Tombstone or Deadwood!”
The Notorious Outlaws of Canyon City
“Unbelievable,” Gooser muttered, taking a slow, agonizing sip of coffee. “What about the danger? The crime? The ruthless outlaws that test a man’s true grit? Surely a town named ‘Canyon City’ has a bloodthirsty gang or two lurking in the shadows.”
Barnaby grinned, exposing a single gold tooth. “Oh, we got outlaws, alright! Meanest varmints you’ll ever lay eyes on. Ever hear of the terror known as ‘Slippery Pete’?”
Gooser perked up slightly, adjusting his eyepatch. “Slippery Pete? What’s his racket? Bank robberies? Stagecoach heists? Train derailments?”
“Worse,” Cletus whispered in a hushed, dramatic tone. “He sneaks onto folks’ porches at night… and swaps their left boots with their right boots! You wake up in the morning, try to walk to the outhouse, and BAM—you trip right over your own ankles! It’s psychological warfare! The Marshal has had a ‘Wanted’ poster up for him for six months, but Pete’s too slick. He leaves behind a single lemon drop at every crime scene just to mock us!”
Gooser stared at them in utter disbelief. “A boot-swapper. You are terrified of an outlaw whose signature crime is mild foot discomfort.”
“He also forgets to close the garden gates!” Barnaby added ominously. “The chickens get out! It’s utter bedlam!”
State-of-the-Art Horse Mechanics
Gooser rubbed his temples, feeling a headache coming on. “Okay, fine. The crime is pathetic and the entertainment is a tragedy. But what about your local infrastructure? I heard someone say their horse is ‘in the shop.’ Since when does a horse go into a shop?!”
Cletus straightened his vest with pride. “That’s our state-of-the-art Livery & Mechanical Repair Barn! Zeke, our town mechanic, doesn’t just shoe horses—he upgrades ’em! My horse, Buttercup, was clunking around last week. Zeke hooked him up to a series of pulley systems, greased his horseshoes with bacon fat, and installed a leather cup holder right onto the saddle horn! He’s currently tuning up Barnaby’s gelding with a fresh set of brass bells so people know he’s coming three blocks away.”
“It’s called modern luxury,” Barnaby stated. “Though right now Zeke is holding the horse because he can’t figure out why it’s idling rough.”
“Horses don’t idle!” Gooser yelled, his voice cracking with exasperation. “They eat grass and stand there! This whole town is living in an alternate reality where logic went out the window!”
The “Grand” Canyon
“And don’t get us started on the scenery!” Cletus shouted back. “Look at the name! Canyon City! You think we got that name for nothin’?”
“Let me guess,” Gooser sighed. “There isn’t actually a canyon.”
“There is most definitely a canyon!” Barnaby declared. “Just behind the church! It’s a grand, sweeping geological wonder!”
“It’s a three-foot ditch caused by rain runoff last spring,” the lady in the blue dress chimed in from the counter, finally looking up from her tea. “A stray goat fell in last week and just walked right out.”
“It has vast potential for expansion!” Cletus barked defensively.
Gooser placed both hands on the bar counter, leaned his head down, and let out a long, heavy sigh. Out of all the wild west mysteries and dangerous territories he had explored as a tracker, Canyon City was proving to be the most grueling—not because of deadly gunslingers, but because the sheer, concentrated lameness of the town was wearing down his sanity.
He looked back up at the lady in the blue dress, his single blue eye filled with desperate resolve. “Lady… if you know where this killer went, please tell me he left Canyon City immediately.”
“Oh, he went up to Dead Man’s Gulch three days ago,” she replied casually.
“Thank goodness,” Gooser breathed. “A place with an actual intimidating name! I’m leaving right now before someone tries to sell me a horse with dual exhaust.”
He slapped a silver coin onto the counter, adjusted his cowboy hat over his bald head, and stomped toward the saloon doors—hoping against hope that the trail to justice would lead him far, far away from Canyon City.
Support Charmy’s Army on Patreon!
Creating the wacky, wild world of Charmy’s Army takes countless hours of drawing, inking, writing, and endless pots of fresh coffee! Whether Gooser Dadburn is running into walls, inventing crazy weapons, or getting stuck in the lamest town in the Old West, this independent comic strip thrives because of dedicated fans like you.
If you enjoy reading these weekly comic strips and extended story blogs, please consider supporting the page on Patreon!
When you become a Patreon supporter, you get exclusive access to:
- Early Comic Strip Releases: See new strips before they go public!
- Behind-the-Scenes Content: Sketches, hand-inked story drafts, and lore expansions.
- High-Res Art Downloads: Printable coloring pages, wallpaper backgrounds, and digital archives.
- Direct Creator Perks: Influence future story ideas and connect directly with creator Davy Jones!
Join the Army today on Patreon and help keep independent comic art alive and thriving! Thank you for reading and supporting!
Rate this:
#adventure #CharmySArmy #CharmysArmy #comicStrip #ComicStrips #Comics #hiking #nature #travel #Webcomics -
“Gooser Dadburn, The Legend Rises” – A Comic Strip from the Old West – Part 1 of 12
<<< PREVIOUS COMIC STRIPChapter 1: The Art of the Tactical Escape
Welcome back, Charmy’s Army fans! In today’s hilarious new comic strip, we hit the dusty trails “Somewhere in the Old West” to check in on everyone’s favorite squinting frontier hero, Gooser Dadburn. Bellied up to the counter at the local Coffee Saloon, Gooser is rocking a brand-new look: a rugged, mysterious black eyepatch. When his shocked companions immediately assume he survived a legendary, high-stakes knife fight, Gooser tries to play it cool. Unfortunately, the truth comes out: he actually ran face-first into a wall. While his buddies call it “running away,” Gooser firmly defends his dignity, declaring, “I prefer ‘escaping’!” But what exactly happened before that wall jumped out and caught him by surprise? Grab your coffee, because Gooser is about to recount the wildest yarn this side of the territories.
“Look, it wasn’t just any ordinary wall, and it wasn’t just a simple mistake,” Gooser muttered, leaning over his steaming mug as his brilliant blue eye flashed with dramatic intensity under the saloon lights. He adjusted the brim of his cowboy hat, ensuring it covered his bald head just right, and slammed his hand on the counter. “You two weren’t there. You didn’t see the sheer magnitude of the lawless, multi-blade pandemonium I was dealing with. It was a certified wild west adventure gone completely off the rails!”
His companions leaned in, half-skeptical but completely hooked. Gooser took a deep breath, cleared his throat, and transported them back to the fateful night at the Black Rock Outpost just three nights ago.
“There I was,” Gooser began, his voice dropping to a theatrical whisper. “Mind ing my own business, enjoying a nice, peaceful game of high-stakes checkers in the back room of the outpost. Suddenly, the doors burst open. In walks the Texas Toothpick Gang—the meanest, ugliest bunch of outlaws to ever lace up deep-treaded riding boots. Their leader, a guy they call ‘Scurvy Sid,’ sneers at me. He didn’t want a friendly game. He wanted trouble. Before I could even yell ‘Holy Macca Noodle,’ three-inch steel blades were flashing in the candlelight. It was a classic wild west mystery why they picked a fight with me, but I didn’t have time to ask questions.”
Gooser gestured wildly with his hands, mimicking the slicing of knives in the air. “Sid lunges at me! Whoosh! The blade misses my nose by a fraction of an inch, slicing clean through the checkerboard. Now, a lesser man would have panicked. But a true frontier hero knows how to improvise. I grabbed the only weapon at my disposal: a half-eaten plate of stale sourdough biscuits. I hurled them with deadly accuracy. Thwack! Thwack! Right in the eyes of his two henchmen! They were temporarily blinded by carbs, giving me precious seconds to formulate a strategic counter-attack.”
The saloon listeners chuckled, but Gooser didn’t break character. He was fully invested in his tale of true grit and survival.
“But Scurvy Sid wasn’t done,” Gooser continued, his eyes widening. “He spun around, swinging his bowie knife in a terrifying arc. I did a backflip over the poker table—well, it was more of a backwards tumble where my spurs caught the velvet cloth, causing the entire table to flip over and pin Sid against the bar. It was pure tactical genius! Bottles of sarsaparilla were crashing, cards were flying through the air like confetti, and the henchmen were blindly swinging their knives, cutting up the curtains. The whole room was enveloped in a whirlwind of dust and flying cutlery.”
Gooser paused to take a dramatic sip of his coffee, letting the suspense build.
“With the entire gang disoriented by my improvised defense, I realized that sticking around would mean doling out an unfair amount of punishment. I decided to grant them mercy. It was time to execute a flawless, high-speed ‘escape.’ I bolted for the back exit. I was moving like lightning, dodging flying stools and stray daggers. I leaped through the back door into the pitch-black alleyway, executing a perfect superhero landing in the dirt.”
“And that’s when you fought your way out?” his friend asked, grinning.
“Exactly!” Gooser shouted, pointing a finger. “Well… almost. You see, the alleyway was completely unlit. And as I turned the corner at a cool thirty miles an hour to lose my pursuers, a solid, unmoving, poorly placed adobe brick wall completely ambushed me! It didn’t telegraph its movement at all. BAM! Right into the left side of my face. I saw stars, stripes, and several constellations that haven’t even been discovered yet. The wall won that round, I’ll admit it. But did the Texas Toothpick Gang catch me? No! Because by the time I woke up in the dirt with a swollen eye and a severe dent in my pride, they had already fled the territory, terrified of the man who fights with sourdough and tackles brick walls!”
Gooser leaned back, crossing his arms triumphantly, completely satisfied with his defense. “So you see, it was a knife fight. I fought the knives, the knives lost to the table, and I simply had a brief, unexpected disagreement with a structural support. That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it.”
His friends burst into laughter, shaking their heads at the sheer absurdity of Gooser’s legendary comic strip storytelling. But as the laughter echoed through the Coffee Saloon, Gooser caught a glimpse of his reflection in the mirror behind the bar. He smiled, adjusting his patch. Out here on the frontier, a little bit of chaos was just part of the job.
Rate this:
#books #CharmySArmy #CharmysArmy #comicStrip #ComicStrips #Comics #fantasy #fiction #funnyComicStrip #shortStory #Webcomics #writing -
“Gooser Dadburn, The Legend Rises” – A Comic Strip from the Old West – Part 1 of 12
<<< PREVIOUS COMIC STRIPChapter 1: The Art of the Tactical Escape
Welcome back, Charmy’s Army fans! In today’s hilarious new comic strip, we hit the dusty trails “Somewhere in the Old West” to check in on everyone’s favorite squinting frontier hero, Gooser Dadburn. Bellied up to the counter at the local Coffee Saloon, Gooser is rocking a brand-new look: a rugged, mysterious black eyepatch. When his shocked companions immediately assume he survived a legendary, high-stakes knife fight, Gooser tries to play it cool. Unfortunately, the truth comes out: he actually ran face-first into a wall. While his buddies call it “running away,” Gooser firmly defends his dignity, declaring, “I prefer ‘escaping’!” But what exactly happened before that wall jumped out and caught him by surprise? Grab your coffee, because Gooser is about to recount the wildest yarn this side of the territories.
“Look, it wasn’t just any ordinary wall, and it wasn’t just a simple mistake,” Gooser muttered, leaning over his steaming mug as his brilliant blue eye flashed with dramatic intensity under the saloon lights. He adjusted the brim of his cowboy hat, ensuring it covered his bald head just right, and slammed his hand on the counter. “You two weren’t there. You didn’t see the sheer magnitude of the lawless, multi-blade pandemonium I was dealing with. It was a certified wild west adventure gone completely off the rails!”
His companions leaned in, half-skeptical but completely hooked. Gooser took a deep breath, cleared his throat, and transported them back to the fateful night at the Black Rock Outpost just three nights ago.
“There I was,” Gooser began, his voice dropping to a theatrical whisper. “Mind ing my own business, enjoying a nice, peaceful game of high-stakes checkers in the back room of the outpost. Suddenly, the doors burst open. In walks the Texas Toothpick Gang—the meanest, ugliest bunch of outlaws to ever lace up deep-treaded riding boots. Their leader, a guy they call ‘Scurvy Sid,’ sneers at me. He didn’t want a friendly game. He wanted trouble. Before I could even yell ‘Holy Macca Noodle,’ three-inch steel blades were flashing in the candlelight. It was a classic wild west mystery why they picked a fight with me, but I didn’t have time to ask questions.”
Gooser gestured wildly with his hands, mimicking the slicing of knives in the air. “Sid lunges at me! Whoosh! The blade misses my nose by a fraction of an inch, slicing clean through the checkerboard. Now, a lesser man would have panicked. But a true frontier hero knows how to improvise. I grabbed the only weapon at my disposal: a half-eaten plate of stale sourdough biscuits. I hurled them with deadly accuracy. Thwack! Thwack! Right in the eyes of his two henchmen! They were temporarily blinded by carbs, giving me precious seconds to formulate a strategic counter-attack.”
The saloon listeners chuckled, but Gooser didn’t break character. He was fully invested in his tale of true grit and survival.
“But Scurvy Sid wasn’t done,” Gooser continued, his eyes widening. “He spun around, swinging his bowie knife in a terrifying arc. I did a backflip over the poker table—well, it was more of a backwards tumble where my spurs caught the velvet cloth, causing the entire table to flip over and pin Sid against the bar. It was pure tactical genius! Bottles of sarsaparilla were crashing, cards were flying through the air like confetti, and the henchmen were blindly swinging their knives, cutting up the curtains. The whole room was enveloped in a whirlwind of dust and flying cutlery.”
Gooser paused to take a dramatic sip of his coffee, letting the suspense build.
“With the entire gang disoriented by my improvised defense, I realized that sticking around would mean doling out an unfair amount of punishment. I decided to grant them mercy. It was time to execute a flawless, high-speed ‘escape.’ I bolted for the back exit. I was moving like lightning, dodging flying stools and stray daggers. I leaped through the back door into the pitch-black alleyway, executing a perfect superhero landing in the dirt.”
“And that’s when you fought your way out?” his friend asked, grinning.
“Exactly!” Gooser shouted, pointing a finger. “Well… almost. You see, the alleyway was completely unlit. And as I turned the corner at a cool thirty miles an hour to lose my pursuers, a solid, unmoving, poorly placed adobe brick wall completely ambushed me! It didn’t telegraph its movement at all. BAM! Right into the left side of my face. I saw stars, stripes, and several constellations that haven’t even been discovered yet. The wall won that round, I’ll admit it. But did the Texas Toothpick Gang catch me? No! Because by the time I woke up in the dirt with a swollen eye and a severe dent in my pride, they had already fled the territory, terrified of the man who fights with sourdough and tackles brick walls!”
Gooser leaned back, crossing his arms triumphantly, completely satisfied with his defense. “So you see, it was a knife fight. I fought the knives, the knives lost to the table, and I simply had a brief, unexpected disagreement with a structural support. That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it.”
His friends burst into laughter, shaking their heads at the sheer absurdity of Gooser’s legendary comic strip storytelling. But as the laughter echoed through the Coffee Saloon, Gooser caught a glimpse of his reflection in the mirror behind the bar. He smiled, adjusting his patch. Out here on the frontier, a little bit of chaos was just part of the job.
Rate this:
#books #CharmySArmy #CharmysArmy #comicStrip #ComicStrips #Comics #fantasy #fiction #funnyComicStrip #shortStory #Webcomics #writing -
Charmy’s Secret Family? The Shocking Paternity Scandal That Never Was! – “Twin Pack” Part 5 of 6
<<< PREVIOUS COMIC STRIPWelcome back to the fifth installment of our six-part saga tracking the ultimate non-scandal in independent comic history! In this week’s Charmy’s Army syndicated comic strip, the family timeline takes a devastating hit from Charmy’s absolute inability to grasp basic math. The four-panel layout kicks off with the purple-haired sister asking what their father is up to these days, prompting Charmy to reveal that their father abandoned him when he was only five years old. When his long-lost brother notes that their dad left them at age five as well, Charmy tries to calculate the timeline and fails miserably, insisting that because his half-siblings are five years older than him, they must have been ten when the dad left Charmy. The hilarious climax occurs when his sister breaks the laws of linear time to Charmy’s brain, explaining that their father left them before Charmy was even born. Utterly missing the point, a relieved Charmy exclaims, “Phew! Not sure if I could have taken him leaving me again!” leaving his new relatives completely speechless.
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#CharmySArmy #CharmysArmy #comicStrip #ComicStrips #Comics #family #fiction #funnyComic #life #love #writing -
Charmy’s Secret Family? The Shocking Paternity Scandal That Never Was! – “Twin Pack” Part 5 of 6
<<< PREVIOUS COMIC STRIPWelcome back to the fifth installment of our six-part saga tracking the ultimate non-scandal in independent comic history! In this week’s Charmy’s Army syndicated comic strip, the family timeline takes a devastating hit from Charmy’s absolute inability to grasp basic math. The four-panel layout kicks off with the purple-haired sister asking what their father is up to these days, prompting Charmy to reveal that their father abandoned him when he was only five years old. When his long-lost brother notes that their dad left them at age five as well, Charmy tries to calculate the timeline and fails miserably, insisting that because his half-siblings are five years older than him, they must have been ten when the dad left Charmy. The hilarious climax occurs when his sister breaks the laws of linear time to Charmy’s brain, explaining that their father left them before Charmy was even born. Utterly missing the point, a relieved Charmy exclaims, “Phew! Not sure if I could have taken him leaving me again!” leaving his new relatives completely speechless.
Subscribe to keep reading
It's a subscribers only post. Subscribe to get access to the rest of this post and other subscriber-only content.
SubscribeRate this:
#CharmySArmy #CharmysArmy #comicStrip #ComicStrips #Comics #family #fiction #funnyComic #life #love #writing -
Charmy’s Secret Family? The Shocking Paternity Scandal That Never Was! – “Twin Pack” Part 4 of 6
<<< PREVIOUS COMIC STRIPIn the latest installment of Charmy’s Army syndicated comic strip, our favorite main character finds himself thoroughly entangled in a hilarious web of terrible genetics, logic, and dramatic family tension. The Sunday comic strip opens with Charmy trying to wrap his head around a convoluted family tree, asking how exactly everyone is related. When he learns that his companion is his half-brother, Charmy confidently deduces that they must be twins—because, in his mind, having different mothers simply means they are “halfway related”! The situation devolves into absolute comedic chaos when Charmy points out that the “twins” look absolutely nothing alike, taking a shameless detour to hit on the stunning purple-haired girl by calling her “smoking hot.” By the final panel, the blonde character snaps the group back to reality, deadpanning that there is absolutely “no better half here,” completely shutting down the absurd flirtation and putting an end to what briefly felt like a dramatic, syndicated comic strip paternity scandal!
The daily grind of a cartoon character is never easy, but when a sudden wave of long-lost siblings crashes into your syndication run, things go from a simple Sunday comic gag to an all-out soap opera overnight. For years, readers of the Charmy’s Army webcomic have followed the misadventures of Charmy and his tight-knit crew, expecting the usual daily dose of military satire, workplace shenanigans, and witty punchlines. What nobody expected was a sudden, earth-shattering announcement that threatened to rewrite the entire lore of the series. Rumors had been swirling across the comic blogs and social media pages that a massive paternity scandal was about to rock the strip. Had Charmy’s family tree been hiding a secret forest all this time?
It all started on a quiet Tuesday afternoon at the base. Charmy was sitting at the counter, nursing a mug of coffee and doing what he does best: absolutely nothing. That was until two completely unfamiliar characters walked into the room, carrying a vibe that screamed dramatic tension. One was a tall, blonde guy with a look of permanent exhaustion, and the other was a stunning woman with vibrant purple hair who immediately turned every head in the room. Charmy, never one to let a moment pass without inserting himself into it, immediately jumped up to investigate.
“Alright, who ordered the background characters?” Charmy joked, leaning against the counter.
The blonde man sighed, rubbing his temples. “We aren’t background characters, Charmy. We’ve been looking for you. We need to talk about our family.”
The room went dead silent. The coffee pot stopped dripping. Even the ambient background noise of the base seemed to mute itself. Charmy blinked, his antennae twitching in confusion. “Family? Look, if this is about the lawnmower I borrowed three years ago, I already told you, it returned itself to nature.”
“No, you idiot,” the blonde man muttered, pulling out a crumpled piece of paper that looked like a poorly printed ancestry report. “We share the same father. I am your half-brother.”
This is the exact moment when the internet almost broke. For an indie comic strip creator, a storyline like this is pure gold. Comic art enthusiasts and webcomic fans love a good lore shakeup, and the mere mention of a secret family had the comment sections lighting up with theories. Was Charmy secretly royalty? Was he the heir to a massive fortune? Or worse, was he related to someone competent?
But as today’s comic strip beautifully illustrates, any hope for a serious, high-stakes, dramatic narrative was instantly obliterated by Charmy’s profound lack of basic biological understanding.
Instead of asking about their father, or inquiring into the deep, emotional backstory of how they were separated at birth, Charmy’s brain took a sharp left turn into the absurd. “Right, because y’all are twins,” Charmy declared with the absolute confidence of a man who has never opened a textbook in his life.
The blonde man froze. “What?! No. We have different mothers, so we are only halfway related.”
To anyone else, that would be the end of the discussion. But Charmy is a cartoon character built on a foundation of stubborn misunderstanding. He stared at the two newcomers, narrowing his eyes as he analyzed their character designs. The contrast was stark. The guy looked like a standard, relatable comic strip protagonist who hadn’t slept in a week, while the woman looked like a meticulously drawn, classic pin-up style character designed to drive engagement on Instagram and TikTok.
“Are you sure you both are twins?” Charmy asked, pointing a dramatic finger at them. “You look nothing alike.” He then completely abandoned the mystery of his lineage, leaning across the counter toward the purple-haired woman with a massive, goofy grin. “Yeah. You are smoking hot.”
The blonde woman standing nearby, wearing a blue tank top and matching Charmy’s level of disbelief, finally had enough of the nonsense. With a look of pure, unadulterated exasperation, she delivered the final blow to the entire scandal: “She’s your half-sister. The other half is the hot half.” Looking directly at Charmy’s ridiculous, grinning face, she added, “There is no better half here.”
And just like that, the great paternity scandal of 2026 evaporated into thin air, leaving behind nothing but a trail of broken hearts, bruised egos, and a hilariously dysfunctional family dynamic. There would be no dramatic courtroom battles, no emotional reunions on daytime television, and certainly no deep, philosophical deep dives into Charmy’s ancestry. Instead, the Charmy’s Army universe proved once again that no matter how serious life gets, a healthy dose of cartoon logic can reduce any massive crisis down to a four-panel punchline.
For fans of classic newspaper comic strips, funny webcomics, and original comic art, this storyline is a perfect example of why the medium of sequential art is so magical. It takes a trope we’ve seen a thousand times in television and movies—the sudden appearance of a secret relative—and flips it completely on its head using the unique pacing and visual humor that only comic strips can deliver. The character expressions, the sharp dialogue, and the sudden shift from high drama to low-brow flirting are exactly what make drawing and writing these characters a joy every single week.
Support the Art on Patreon!
Creating a weekly, hand-inked comic strip like Charmy’s Army takes a massive amount of love, coffee, and dedication! If you want to dive deeper into the world of Charmy, see what happens next with his “secret” family, and get exclusive behind-the-scenes access, consider joining our amazing community on Patreon!
By becoming a patron, you unlock incredible rewards, including:
- Lower Tiers: Get exclusive bonus stories and exclusive content.
- The $10 Monthly Tier: Get a special, exclusive sneak peek at the raw pencil drawings and rough sketches for upcoming comic strips before they are ever inked or colored!
- Exclusive Content: Download printable coloring pages, read extended blog stories, and explore the weekly archive of classic strips dating all the way back to 2017!
Your support keeps the ink flowing, the website running, and ensures that Charmy can continue making a fool of himself every single week. Head over to our Patreon page today, pick the tier that fits you best, and join the Army! Thank you so much for reading and supporting independent comic art!
Rate this:
#art #books #CharmySArmy #CharmysArmy #comicStrip #ComicStrips #Comics #funnyComicStrip #marvel #Webcomics #writing -
Charmy’s Secret Family? The Shocking Paternity Scandal That Never Was! – “Twin Pack” Part 4 of 6
<<< PREVIOUS COMIC STRIPIn the latest installment of Charmy’s Army syndicated comic strip, our favorite main character finds himself thoroughly entangled in a hilarious web of terrible genetics, logic, and dramatic family tension. The Sunday comic strip opens with Charmy trying to wrap his head around a convoluted family tree, asking how exactly everyone is related. When he learns that his companion is his half-brother, Charmy confidently deduces that they must be twins—because, in his mind, having different mothers simply means they are “halfway related”! The situation devolves into absolute comedic chaos when Charmy points out that the “twins” look absolutely nothing alike, taking a shameless detour to hit on the stunning purple-haired girl by calling her “smoking hot.” By the final panel, the blonde character snaps the group back to reality, deadpanning that there is absolutely “no better half here,” completely shutting down the absurd flirtation and putting an end to what briefly felt like a dramatic, syndicated comic strip paternity scandal!
The daily grind of a cartoon character is never easy, but when a sudden wave of long-lost siblings crashes into your syndication run, things go from a simple Sunday comic gag to an all-out soap opera overnight. For years, readers of the Charmy’s Army webcomic have followed the misadventures of Charmy and his tight-knit crew, expecting the usual daily dose of military satire, workplace shenanigans, and witty punchlines. What nobody expected was a sudden, earth-shattering announcement that threatened to rewrite the entire lore of the series. Rumors had been swirling across the comic blogs and social media pages that a massive paternity scandal was about to rock the strip. Had Charmy’s family tree been hiding a secret forest all this time?
It all started on a quiet Tuesday afternoon at the base. Charmy was sitting at the counter, nursing a mug of coffee and doing what he does best: absolutely nothing. That was until two completely unfamiliar characters walked into the room, carrying a vibe that screamed dramatic tension. One was a tall, blonde guy with a look of permanent exhaustion, and the other was a stunning woman with vibrant purple hair who immediately turned every head in the room. Charmy, never one to let a moment pass without inserting himself into it, immediately jumped up to investigate.
“Alright, who ordered the background characters?” Charmy joked, leaning against the counter.
The blonde man sighed, rubbing his temples. “We aren’t background characters, Charmy. We’ve been looking for you. We need to talk about our family.”
The room went dead silent. The coffee pot stopped dripping. Even the ambient background noise of the base seemed to mute itself. Charmy blinked, his antennae twitching in confusion. “Family? Look, if this is about the lawnmower I borrowed three years ago, I already told you, it returned itself to nature.”
“No, you idiot,” the blonde man muttered, pulling out a crumpled piece of paper that looked like a poorly printed ancestry report. “We share the same father. I am your half-brother.”
This is the exact moment when the internet almost broke. For an indie comic strip creator, a storyline like this is pure gold. Comic art enthusiasts and webcomic fans love a good lore shakeup, and the mere mention of a secret family had the comment sections lighting up with theories. Was Charmy secretly royalty? Was he the heir to a massive fortune? Or worse, was he related to someone competent?
But as today’s comic strip beautifully illustrates, any hope for a serious, high-stakes, dramatic narrative was instantly obliterated by Charmy’s profound lack of basic biological understanding.
Instead of asking about their father, or inquiring into the deep, emotional backstory of how they were separated at birth, Charmy’s brain took a sharp left turn into the absurd. “Right, because y’all are twins,” Charmy declared with the absolute confidence of a man who has never opened a textbook in his life.
The blonde man froze. “What?! No. We have different mothers, so we are only halfway related.”
To anyone else, that would be the end of the discussion. But Charmy is a cartoon character built on a foundation of stubborn misunderstanding. He stared at the two newcomers, narrowing his eyes as he analyzed their character designs. The contrast was stark. The guy looked like a standard, relatable comic strip protagonist who hadn’t slept in a week, while the woman looked like a meticulously drawn, classic pin-up style character designed to drive engagement on Instagram and TikTok.
“Are you sure you both are twins?” Charmy asked, pointing a dramatic finger at them. “You look nothing alike.” He then completely abandoned the mystery of his lineage, leaning across the counter toward the purple-haired woman with a massive, goofy grin. “Yeah. You are smoking hot.”
The blonde woman standing nearby, wearing a blue tank top and matching Charmy’s level of disbelief, finally had enough of the nonsense. With a look of pure, unadulterated exasperation, she delivered the final blow to the entire scandal: “She’s your half-sister. The other half is the hot half.” Looking directly at Charmy’s ridiculous, grinning face, she added, “There is no better half here.”
And just like that, the great paternity scandal of 2026 evaporated into thin air, leaving behind nothing but a trail of broken hearts, bruised egos, and a hilariously dysfunctional family dynamic. There would be no dramatic courtroom battles, no emotional reunions on daytime television, and certainly no deep, philosophical deep dives into Charmy’s ancestry. Instead, the Charmy’s Army universe proved once again that no matter how serious life gets, a healthy dose of cartoon logic can reduce any massive crisis down to a four-panel punchline.
For fans of classic newspaper comic strips, funny webcomics, and original comic art, this storyline is a perfect example of why the medium of sequential art is so magical. It takes a trope we’ve seen a thousand times in television and movies—the sudden appearance of a secret relative—and flips it completely on its head using the unique pacing and visual humor that only comic strips can deliver. The character expressions, the sharp dialogue, and the sudden shift from high drama to low-brow flirting are exactly what make drawing and writing these characters a joy every single week.
Support the Art on Patreon!
Creating a weekly, hand-inked comic strip like Charmy’s Army takes a massive amount of love, coffee, and dedication! If you want to dive deeper into the world of Charmy, see what happens next with his “secret” family, and get exclusive behind-the-scenes access, consider joining our amazing community on Patreon!
By becoming a patron, you unlock incredible rewards, including:
- Lower Tiers: Get exclusive bonus stories and exclusive content.
- The $10 Monthly Tier: Get a special, exclusive sneak peek at the raw pencil drawings and rough sketches for upcoming comic strips before they are ever inked or colored!
- Exclusive Content: Download printable coloring pages, read extended blog stories, and explore the weekly archive of classic strips dating all the way back to 2017!
Your support keeps the ink flowing, the website running, and ensures that Charmy can continue making a fool of himself every single week. Head over to our Patreon page today, pick the tier that fits you best, and join the Army! Thank you so much for reading and supporting independent comic art!
Rate this:
#art #books #CharmySArmy #CharmysArmy #comicStrip #ComicStrips #Comics #funnyComicStrip #marvel #Webcomics #writing