#charlieandtoby — Public Fediverse posts

It is Sunday afternoon, and we are walking up the path of a house just three doors down from ours.

We are visiting the Martins. Jean and Alicia, and their adopted daughter Salla - or Sally as she prefers.

I ring the bell.

A dark haired lady answers the door, "'Ello. You are the 'Ampsteds?" She has a quite strong French accent.
"Almost, I'm Toby Allensdale - and this is my wife Charlotte Hampstead. But please, just Charlie and Toby."
"Salla says we need to talk? Is this about 'er biological parents?"
"In part. Can we come in?" Charlie says, taking over.
"Of course." And with that we are shown into a pleasant lounge room, where a brown haired man and Sally are sitting.
"Jean? This is Toby and Charlie. The people Salla visited this morning."
He frowns, and gets up "Hello. Why has our daughter decided to seek out a pair of complete strangers?" His accent is almost non-existent.
My turn. "Actually, that is something we would like to know, too Sally. How did you hear about Charlie?"
That shifts Jean's attention, and replaces his hostility with confusion.

Sally blushes - her embarrassment threshold looks to be low even for a teenager. "Um, there was this kid in first year. He came up to me a few days ago and said that there was someone who could help me. And gave me their address."
Charlie and I look at each other. "Gavin" we say together.

"'Elp you? But what is wrong?" Alicia is getting worried now, while Martin is looking even more puzzled.
He cuts in "And why these strangers and not us?"

Charlie takes over now "It is to do with her biological parentage. Have you ever had something unexplained happen around Sally?"

Martin scoffs "You sound like something from some fantasy book. What? Is she a witch?"

Charlie grins her brightest smile "No, she is not a witch. I am, though. Tell me, does Sally like practical jokes?"
"Oui" replies Alicia, "But what does that have to do with anything?"
"Well, as you know at least one of Sally's bio-parents was of Japanese descent."
"Oui..."
"But what you did not know was that the mother was not an ordinary human. Sally, can you change please?"

Sally starts to object "But...", only for Charlie to give her a Look. There is nothing magic in it, just a lot of stern. "OK."
And then there is a fox standing in her place, three tails almost tucked in.

There is a silence. Then Alicia reaches out and holds her hand near. Sally licks it, and whines. With that the fox is gathered into a hug by her mother and there is a stream of French that I cannot keep up with. After a few moments Jean joins in, and then Sally changes back.

He turns to us again "But why seek you out? And what is our daughter?" Tellingly, he has not released the hug.

Charlie smiles softly. "I can help train her a little, and maybe help find some other kitsune to help her out. And give advice about being a bit more different than most."

#CharlieAndToby #SF #SFF #UrbanFantasy #microfiction #tootfic #microfic #IAmWriting

It is early in the morning on Sunday, and I am opening the back door to see if there are any ripe lemons on the tree.

Instead I almost tread on a fox. Curled up and asleep.

Now, you have to understand that ever since Europeans settled here, we have had Japanese immigrants as well. Some by choice, some ... less so.

This is why I am not too surprised to see that the fox has three tails. My opening the door has not awakened it, so I step over and continue on to the lemon tree. There are two ripe lemons this morning, which suits me just fine.

I have another look at the fox on the way back, just to make sure, but there is no sign of any injury. I step over again, and leave the screen door ajar.

Charlie is still asleep upstairs as I start putting breakfast together. I am cooking pancakes, and I know the smell of them will wake her up. Eventually.

I'm on the fourth one when I feel a nose in the back of my knee. I look down at the fox, and nod towards the crockery cabinet. "Can you get some plates out please? The medium ones." I ask.

The fox looks at the cabinet, back at me, back to the cabinet, and sneezes. The young woman standing in its place sticks her tongue out at me "You're no fun" she says in a broad accent.

"I'm Toby, Charlie's husband. A kitsune is fairly normal by my standards. Now, do you want bacon on your pancakes?"

"Sally. Your wife, Charlie? She's the witch?"

"Yep. What's the problem?" As I speak, I put some bacon on as well.

"Um, I need some help finding Mum."

"She's missing?"

"Yes? No? Sort of? I was adopted. And, well, I had no idea what I was until a year ago."

"Are you in trouble?"

"No, but I don't know what I should do. I um, I like this guy back home, but there's also my best friend, and they don't know about me and I don't know what to do."

The last came out with a bit of a whine, and she blushed, clearly embarrassed by it all.

I smiled a sympathetic smile "OK, I'll get Charlie, and let's get you sorted. If I know how these things go, it will not be too bad. But first, breakfast. Tea or coffee?"

"Um, do you have hot chocolate?"

"Of course." Plus the smell of chocolate will get Charlie down here even quicker than the coffee and pancakes.

#CharlieAndToby #SF #SFF #UrbanFantasy #microfiction #tootfic #microfic #IAmWriting

I was sitting on the bank of a river watching the mist, when a football suddenly splashed into the water just in front of me. The spray got me, so it had clearly come from the river direction.

"Your ball's over here!" I yelled into the mist. No answer. So after a few moments I threw it back into the mist, as hard as I could.

I heard it hit the water with a splash, and then there was a much larger splash, followed by several more. A few seconds later the ball came sailing back. This time I caught it.

Studying it, it looked like it had been floating in the water a while, with a smear of algae on one side. I threw it back again. Again the splash of the ball and then other louder splashes. The ball came back again.

I kept this up for a while, but then my arm got tired, and I sat down.

Looking into the mist, I thought I saw something, but then nothing - just the curling wisps.

Then, right in front of me, a tall neck rose out of the river, a small head on top of it looked down at me, and then the neck bent down until the head was level with mine. It looked at the ball, then out to the river, and then at me. And did it again.

I shook my head. "Sorry, I'm tuckered out."

After a few moments the neck slid back into the water until just the head was showing, resting on the bank, staring at the ball.

I rolled it down the bank to it, and it headbutted it back to me. It was content to play like this for a while. Then I heard a fishing boat chugging downstream.

The creature grabbed the ball, and vanished underwater.

After a few minutes, I got up and walked back to the B&B we were staying at.

As I walked in, Charlie looked up from her book. "How was the River Ness?"

"Misty, and living up to its name."

Charlie raised an elegant eyebrow at me.

"I played fetch with the monster for a while. It has a soccer ball."

Charlie got up and sniffed me, then traced a couple of runes on my forehead.

"Huh."

"Told you."

She shook her head "Yes, you did my love. You did. But I was not going to rule out you having me on."

"Fair. How about we go into town for breakfast?"

"That sounds lovely."

#CharlieAndToby #SF #SFF #UrbanFantasy #Nessie #microfiction #tootfic #microfic #IAmWriting

Despite all the tourist literature, the original stories have the monster in the river, not the loch.

I was sitting on the bank of a river watching the mist, when a football suddenly splashed into the water just in front of me. The spray got me, so it had clearly come from the river direction.

"Your ball's over here!" I yelled into the mist. No answer. So after a few moments I threw it back into the mist, as hard as I could.

I heard it hit the water with a splash, and then there was a much larger splash, followed by several more. A few seconds later the ball came sailing back. This time I caught it.

Studying it, it looked like it had been floating in the water a while, with a smear of algae on one side. I threw it back again. Again the splash of the ball and then other louder splashes. The ball came back again.

I kept this up for a while, but then my arm got tired, and I sat down.

Looking into the mist, I thought I saw something, but then nothing - just the curling wisps.

Then, right in front of me, a tall neck rose out of the river, a small head on top of it looked down at me, and then the neck bent down until the head was level with mine. It looked at the ball, then out to the river, and then at me. And did it again.

I shook my head. "Sorry, I'm tuckered out."

After a few moments the neck slid back into the water until just the head was showing, resting on the bank, staring at the ball.

I rolled it down the bank to it, and it headbutted it back to me. It was content to play like this for a while. Then I heard a fishing boat chugging downstream.

The creature grabbed the ball, and vanished underwater.

After a few minutes, I got up and walked back to the B&B we were staying at.

As I walked in, Charlie looked up from her book. "How was the River Ness?"

"Misty, and living up to its name."

Charlie raised an elegant eyebrow at me.

"I played fetch with the monster for a while. It has a soccer ball."

Charlie got up and sniffed me, then traced a couple of runes on my forehead.

"Huh."

"Told you."

She shook her head "Yes, you did my love. You did. But I was not going to rule out you having me on."

"Fair. How about we go into town for breakfast?"

"That sounds lovely."

#CharlieAndToby #SF #SFF #UrbanFantasy #Nessie #microfiction #tootfic #microfic #IAmWriting

Despite all the tourist literature, the original stories have the monster in the river, not the loch.

I was sitting on the bank of a river watching the mist, when a football suddenly splashed into the water just in front of me. The spray got me, so it had clearly come from the river direction.

"Your ball's over here!" I yelled into the mist. No answer. So after a few moments I threw it back into the mist, as hard as I could.

I heard it hit the water with a splash, and then there was a much larger splash, followed by several more. A few seconds later the ball came sailing back. This time I caught it.

Studying it, it looked like it had been floating in the water a while, with a smear of algae on one side. I threw it back again. Again the splash of the ball and then other louder splashes. The ball came back again.

I kept this up for a while, but then my arm got tired, and I sat down.

Looking into the mist, I thought I saw something, but then nothing - just the curling wisps.

Then, right in front of me, a tall neck rose out of the river, a small head on top of it looked down at me, and then the neck bent down until the head was level with mine. It looked at the ball, then out to the river, and then at me. And did it again.

I shook my head. "Sorry, I'm tuckered out."

After a few moments the neck slid back into the water until just the head was showing, resting on the bank, staring at the ball.

I rolled it down the bank to it, and it headbutted it back to me. It was content to play like this for a while. Then I heard a fishing boat chugging downstream.

The creature grabbed the ball, and vanished underwater.

After a few minutes, I got up and walked back to the B&B we were staying at.

As I walked in, Charlie looked up from her book. "How was the River Ness?"

"Misty, and living up to its name."

Charlie raised an elegant eyebrow at me.

"I played fetch with the monster for a while. It has a soccer ball."

Charlie got up and sniffed me, then traced a couple of runes on my forehead.

"Huh."

"Told you."

She shook her head "Yes, you did my love. You did. But I was not going to rule out you having me on."

"Fair. How about we go into town for breakfast?"

"That sounds lovely."

#CharlieAndToby #SF #SFF #UrbanFantasy #Nessie #microfiction #tootfic #microfic #IAmWriting

Despite all the tourist literature, the original stories have the monster in the river, not the loch.

I was sitting on the bank of a river watching the mist, when a football suddenly splashed into the water just in front of me. The spray got me, so it had clearly come from the river direction.

"Your ball's over here!" I yelled into the mist. No answer. So after a few moments I threw it back into the mist, as hard as I could.

I heard it hit the water with a splash, and then there was a much larger splash, followed by several more. A few seconds later the ball came sailing back. This time I caught it.

Studying it, it looked like it had been floating in the water a while, with a smear of algae on one side. I threw it back again. Again the splash of the ball and then other louder splashes. The ball came back again.

I kept this up for a while, but then my arm got tired, and I sat down.

Looking into the mist, I thought I saw something, but then nothing - just the curling wisps.

Then, right in front of me, a tall neck rose out of the river, a small head on top of it looked down at me, and then the neck bent down until the head was level with mine. It looked at the ball, then out to the river, and then at me. And did it again.

I shook my head. "Sorry, I'm tuckered out."

After a few moments the neck slid back into the water until just the head was showing, resting on the bank, staring at the ball.

I rolled it down the bank to it, and it headbutted it back to me. It was content to play like this for a while. Then I heard a fishing boat chugging downstream.

The creature grabbed the ball, and vanished underwater.

After a few minutes, I got up and walked back to the B&B we were staying at.

As I walked in, Charlie looked up from her book. "How was the River Ness?"

"Misty, and living up to its name."

Charlie raised an elegant eyebrow at me.

"I played fetch with the monster for a while. It has a soccer ball."

Charlie got up and sniffed me, then traced a couple of runes on my forehead.

"Huh."

"Told you."

She shook her head "Yes, you did my love. You did. But I was not going to rule out you having me on."

"Fair. How about we go into town for breakfast?"

"That sounds lovely."

#CharlieAndToby #SF #SFF #UrbanFantasy #Nessie #microfiction #tootfic #microfic #IAmWriting

Despite all the tourist literature, the original stories have the monster in the river, not the loch.

I was sitting on the bank of a river watching the mist, when a football suddenly splashed into the water just in front of me. The spray got me, so it had clearly come from the river direction.

"Your ball's over here!" I yelled into the mist. No answer. So after a few moments I threw it back into the mist, as hard as I could.

I heard it hit the water with a splash, and then there was a much larger splash, followed by several more. A few seconds later the ball came sailing back. This time I caught it.

Studying it, it looked like it had been floating in the water a while, with a smear of algae on one side. I threw it back again. Again the splash of the ball and then other louder splashes. The ball came back again.

I kept this up for a while, but then my arm got tired, and I sat down.

Looking into the mist, I thought I saw something, but then nothing - just the curling wisps.

Then, right in front of me, a tall neck rose out of the river, a small head on top of it looked down at me, and then the neck bent down until the head was level with mine. It looked at the ball, then out to the river, and then at me. And did it again.

I shook my head. "Sorry, I'm tuckered out."

After a few moments the neck slid back into the water until just the head was showing, resting on the bank, staring at the ball.

I rolled it down the bank to it, and it headbutted it back to me. It was content to play like this for a while. Then I heard a fishing boat chugging downstream.

The creature grabbed the ball, and vanished underwater.

After a few minutes, I got up and walked back to the B&B we were staying at.

As I walked in, Charlie looked up from her book. "How was the River Ness?"

"Misty, and living up to its name."

Charlie raised an elegant eyebrow at me.

"I played fetch with the monster for a while. It has a soccer ball."

Charlie got up and sniffed me, then traced a couple of runes on my forehead.

"Huh."

"Told you."

She shook her head "Yes, you did my love. You did. But I was not going to rule out you having me on."

"Fair. How about we go into town for breakfast?"

"That sounds lovely."

#CharlieAndToby #SF #SFF #UrbanFantasy #Nessie #microfiction #tootfic #microfic #IAmWriting

Despite all the tourist literature, the original stories have the monster in the river, not the loch.

A travelling zoo and circus has arrived in town, and Charlie and I are having a look around.

Entry into the whole thing was pretty reasonable, but you can see where they really make their money - the snack vendors, the side show games, the usual carnival stuff. The zoo side of things is covered by the entry, as is the big top.

We are wandering around the zoo exhibits, when Charlie stops and frowns. Then she drags me back to the start "Toby," she hisses "take a closer look."

So we start over looking at the animals. It does not take me long to spot what is wrong. And the exhibits have noticed that we're noticed. This could get awkward.

One of the security guards comes over to us "Is there a problem?" she asks. Charlie looks her up and down, and whispers "We understand."

This does not reassure the guard, who reaches for Charlie, and then flinches, shaking her hand. My love has ways of making sure no-one ever touches her without permission. The guard, "Sal" according to her badge, looks at her hand, and then back at Charlie. "Shit. Ok, I gotta take you to the Boss."

Charlie smiles like there is nothing better she'd like to do (which is probably true) and we go to one of the smallest caravans in the convoy. Sal knocks, and says "Boss? I've got a couple of special visitors you need to see."

I can't hear the reply, but the door opens and Sal ushers us in. Inside is a very mundane office. A couple of laptops with extra screens, laser printer, and two people working at desks. One of them, a man in his fifties maybe, points to the chairs opposite him.

He barks out "OK, you've scared Sal. Who are ya? What ya want?"

Charlie takes the lead. "Nothing, I just noticed that all the enclosure locks are on the inside. I'm guessing those people get a cut of the entry ticket?"

"Ya know about them folk. Ya gunna cause trouble?"

I speak up "Nah, I work with a dryad, and we have a werewolf over for games every Thursday."

The boss looks at me "A dryad. That's a myth. They don't exist."

"This one does. Her mum made her."

His eyes widen, then narrow "Ya reckon she'd like ta travel?"

"No, sorry, you might say that she'd put down roots."

"Bugga. Well, had ta ask." He looks at Charlie "You a witch?" Charlie nods. "Right then," and he rummages in a draw pulling out a couple of wrist bands, "put these on."

"And what are they?" Charlie's voice is velvet over ice.

"Nothin like that. All area passes. Ya can even go backstage if ya like. Gotta stay friendly with the local authorities."

Charlie takes the bands, inspects them, and then hands one to me.

Her tone softens "Thank-you. We will return them when we leave."

"Hang onto 'em, we'll be back in a cupla years."

And with that we're shown out. Now we get to have the fun of a chat with the performers in the cages after closing. I guess it is a way of making money out of your talents. I wonder which one is Sal's partner.

#SF #SFF #UrbanFantasy #CharlieAndToby #microfiction #microfic #tootfic #IAmWriting

Charlie and I are cuddling on the couch, taking in an old Toho Kaiju movie.This is the third one in a row. I grew up on these, and Charlie has a soft spot for Mothra (who wouldn't?), so we're doing a Mothra Marathon. We've got some friends around - Candice, her daughter Anthea, and Anthea's girlfriend, Nicola. And let's be honest, we might as well have a couple of robots with us - we are riffing away like old pros.

It is nearly midnight, and the Twins are just starting their song to call Mothra, when there's a tapping at the door. Now I want you to understand that, while Charlie has many tomes of ancient lore, she is in no way weak, weary, nor do we have a bust of Pallas anywhere in the house. Just to be clear on this. But a raven calling would not be out of the question.

We do a quick rock-paper-scissors, which I lose, so I get up to answer the door. To my amazement, there is not a raven, but a boy. A young teenager. He looks well fed, there are no obvious injuries, and he seems anxious rather than scared.

"Hi?" I open.
"Um... Does, er, Charlie live here?" he asks.
"Yes, are you in some trouble?"
"Uh, no. It is just that, well, my aunty said that I needed someone to teach me, and that Charlie was the best person in town. She and my folks had a big fight about it. Oh, I'm Gavin. Gavin Jones."
"You'd better come in then. Charlie? Hit pause, please."

Gavin was clearly expecting someone else, because he looks around at everyone, and back at me.
"Nope, I'm Toby. Charlie is my wife," I point to her, "This is Gavin Jones. His aunty wants you to teach him."

Charlie looks at him, and I can tell that she's not just using her eyes. She blinks slowly, and lets out deep breath. "I see. I am Charlotte Hampstead. I think you had best just call me Ms Hampstead," Charlie says with her stern voice.

The kid is a bit startled by this, gulps, and shakily replies "Yes Ms Hampstead."
"Now, do your parents know you're here?"
"No Ms Hampstead. They had a fight with Aunty Margaret about me learning from you."
"Where do you live?"
"Just two streets over, number 12 on Short."
"Right then. You are going straight home before someone notices you're missing. Are your parents going to be home tomorrow?"
He's staring now. "Uh, yeah, I guess?"
"Right. I will call in around 2pm. I'll tell them your aunt sent me."
"Okay?" he says as a question, more than acknowledgement. Charlie looks at him. "I mean, yes, Ms Hampstead!" he corrects.

Charlie smiles, "Take care to go straight home, now. Toby will see you out."

I come back having seen the kid off. "So you're going to teach him?"
"I have to. He's like an over-full gas cylinder right now."
"And his folks?"
"I'll explain, in detail, what will happen if he's not taught. They'll agree. Now get back over here. I want to hear The Twins."
That's when Nicola asks "Do you have a working with children permit?"
Charlie swears.

#SF #SFF #microfic #tootfic #microfiction #CharlieAndToby #IAmWriting

It is that time of year again, and we are cooking up a storm. Between the folks at the office, and all the friends we've made through Charlie's work - not to mention her extended family - we would be beggared if we tried to buy everyone gifts.

So, instead, we do this. I take a week off, and we can, jam, bake, and all the rest. Of course it is not as simple as it might be for some people.

We have to account for obligate carnivores, photosynthesisers, and a dozen or more other weird and wonderful metabolisms. The silicavores are especially exciting to cook for!

Fortunately, Charlie, while not one of natures great cooks, is very, very good at preserving and transmutation spells. And, for the silicavores, we do enlist some outside help in the form of a medusa we know.

So we have jars, and cans, and baking trays everywhere this week. And there's a knock at the door.

I go over, check the peephole, and see that it isn't Xyllia this time (that's the medusa - I had a bit of an accident with her once). I open the door to a young lady. She's completely human. How do I know? I've met her before.

"Hi Nicola! What's up?"
"Hello ... um, I need a bit of help."
"What with?"
"What do I get Candice and her partner for Christmas?"

Candice is her girlfriend's, Anthea, mum. Her partner is a telepathic intelligent plant. Who is sort of Anthea's dadmumthing.

I think fast. "OK, Candice is easy - get her a bookshop voucher. She loves to read. As for her partner... Umm"

Fortunately for me Charlie's been listening in from the kitchen. "Just get it a bag of blood and bone. It'll appreciate it," she calls out.

Nicola looks doubtful.

"Hey, if Charlie says that's a good gift, it is a good gift. Although I suppose you could just go with a large dead animal of some kind. A bag of blood and bone is easier."

She still looks a little doubtful, but nods. "Ok, Toby," and she calls out "Thank-you Charlie."

Charlie calls back "No problem,oh, and you're both invited to the party on the 29th."

"I'll remind Anthea. Bye!"

Just another day in the lead up to Christmas for us.

#SF #SFF #Fantasy #microfic #tootfic #microfiction #CharlieAndToby #IAmWriting

@warandpeas
#CharlieAndToby would like a word.

Great (and twisted) minds think alike!

(See also https://aus.social/@rdm/114685402153136709 )

It's 2pm on a Wednesday, and my front doorbell is ringing. I know Charlie isn't home, because she's got a job down South this week. There's a pooka that came in following a cargo ship, and is making a pest of itself because it can't find its usual food.

Anyway, I check the camera, and there's a harpy at the door. She does not look happy. I mean, it can be hard to tell with harpies - the shape of their faces makes them look permanently angry, but this one looks sad.

I toggle the mic. "Hi there. Toby here. I'm at work right now, and Charlie's down South. If you wait around the back..."

But she's gone.

I hope she comes back, she looked like she needs help.

I'm just settling down when there is a "thump" from outside my fifth-floor window. I look out, and there's the harpy. HR are going to love this.

I point to the left, sign out of my laptop, and head over to the balcony outside our level's lunch room.

The harpy is waiting for me, perched on one of the benches.

"Hi there, Perinod isn't it?"

"Yes, hello, Toby. I need your help."

"OK, what's the problem?"

"I need money."

This is not what I was expecting. "Money?" Most supernaturals don't need money - or can fake being human enough not to raise questions too much while holding down a job.

"Yes. I need," she consults the top of her foot, "two thousand three hundred and eighty dollars."

OK, something was really not right here. "What do you need it for?"

"I need it for Piper."

Piper is her partner. They are an EMT, so this is getting really strange. "Why does Piper need two and a half thousand dollars?"

"They don't need it. I need it for them." Perinod says, almost as if explaining to a small child.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"I need it to get to buy something for Piper."

"That is a very specific price."

"It is something very specific."

Now I am not the brightest bulb on the tree sometimes, but the light finally starts to dawn.

"You want to buy them a ring?"

"Yes. I've decided I'm done waiting. I'm going to propose to them."

"And for that you need a ring. Right."

At this point the door to the balcony opens and Mike, one of my team-mates comes out. "Toby, we have a situa - what?" He stares at the naked-breasted bird lady.

"I'll be in in a minute, Mike. Don't stare, it's rude." Mike's brain finally caught up with him and he turned around.

"Uh, OK. It is a Sev 2, and we kind of need you."

"OK. Perinod?"

"Toby."

"I think I can help you out. Can you come by the house at sunset, please?"

She hesitates, and looks over to where Mike is waiting "Very well. Sunset" and she leaps over the edge of the balcony.

I shake my head, and go in to see what is broken. And to figure out how a harpy can raise two and half grand. I mean I could give it to her, but that would not sit right with either of us. What can a harpy do for me that is worth that much?

#SF #SFF #CharlieAndToby #microfiction #microfic #tootfic #IAmWriting

I am not much of a hardware guy, but I can still drive a soldering iron and follow instructions.

So when Charlie asked me to make a keyboard, I said "OK". Especially when she explained what for.

So here I am. I've got a pretty generic keyboard kit that I'm hacking. I'm running cables from where the keys would be soldered in to a bunch of 50mm SPSTMA switches that I've punched into a sheet of stainless steel. The whole thing is going to be over a metre across. Once I've finished wiring it all up, I'll fit a arcade-style joystick at the right-hand end, and mount it all in an old 20mm shell ammo box I got from a surplus store.

A bit of silicone on the joystick knob and on the switch tops, and it'll be done.

Then we can drive up to the hills and deliver it, along with a 100 inch TV as a monitor. They've already got a PC and 5G set up.

Keep an eye out for DragonRose once she gets an account here, OK? She's a real deep thinker.

#SF #SFF #UrbanFantasy #CharlieAndToby #Microfiction #Tootfic #Microfic #IAmWriting #Dragon

So, it is October.

Charlie here, and I really, really, want to have a few words, so I'm hijacking Tobes' account again. (No, nothing's wrong with him this time, he's fine, I just can't be bothered creating an account of my own. Everybody knows Tobes, so it is just easier if I post this here.)

So, yeah. October. And yes, I'm a witch. So this should be my time of year, right? Wrong. Instead I get pounded with all sorts of rubbish. People thinking decorations are hauntings. Decorations that really are haunted. Idiots trying out some spell they got from a mail-order place in Minnesota, Reading, or, goddess help me, Bendigo. Other idiots thinking the kids that have watched too much American TV, and want to go trick-or-treating are actual ghouls, goblins, or whatever.

So, yeah. Fecking October. Now remember I'm also trying to get my real work done at the same time as all this garbage.

So please, please, PLEASE try to actually pay attention? And try to avoid doing anything stupid until November. Or, better still, leave the spells and summonings to the professionals? Please?

#SF #SFF #Microfiction #tootfic #UrbanFantasy #CharlieAndToby #microfic #IAmWriting

I'm sitting in the lunch room at work, enjoying some leftover curry from a couple of nights ago. I've got an ebook propped up in front of me, and I'm just getting into it when I see something that surprises me.

I see Anthea coming into the lunchroom - this is odd, because she always has lunch outside. She comes right over to where I'm sitting. She's got some sort of shake - probably something her mum designed for her.

Now Anthea is in her mid twenties, but right now she looks like a deeply depressed fourteen year-old. All she was missing was the white makeup and black eyeliner.

I look at her. She looks back.

"I hope this isn't about last week" I open with. That was really embarrassing - I'd had to trim a flower spike from her so that she'd be able to wake up (it's a long story), but she'd neglected to warn me that she'd be naked.

"It kind of is?" Her reply turns into a question halfway through.
"I am really sorry, I - "
"Not, not about that - that's fine. No, after you left."
"Nicola didn't take it well?" Nicola is her roommate, and didn't know about Anthea's unusual parentage.
"Um... kind of? Or not? Or..." the stuttering petered out.
"Does she want to move out?"
"No, no she doesn't."
"Does she want you to move out?"
"I don't think so?"

This is painful. Charlie normally handles this sort of stuff, but I guess I'll have to do the best I can.

"Anthea, has Nicola done something without asking?"
"No! Nothing like that! No, she's just being ... argh!"
"Alright, different question. Are you sweet on her?"
I get a blank look back. "Am I what?"
"Sweet on her." The blank look slowly morphs. Charlie had warned me that she might not have even realised herself.
"I'm in love with Nicola?" she eventually says, like she's trying out some new flavour. She sits there for a couple of minutes, looking through me, not at me. Eventually she gives out a small "Oh."

"Now, what is the problem you're having with her?"
"Uh ... oh... um..."
"Maybe you should tell her. If she's not interested, you can get it all over with. And if she is ... well, you get to see how it goes."
"Was it like that for you and Charlie?"
"No, but we were a bit different. But we did become friends first. So you've got that at least."
"How did you know?"
"I didn't, Charlie did. She did warn me that even you might not have known."
"That I was sweet on my roommate?"
"No, that you're gay. "
"I - " she paused and thought for a moment or two "I guess I am." Then she looked alarmed "Mum! How am I -"
"Don't worry about that."
"Don't worry? But - "
"She'll be pleased to have won the bet."
"The bet?"
"The one she and Charlie have. That you'd come out to one of us first."

She starts to look annoyed, and then an evil grin surfaces. "But I didn't. You outed me to me first. So neither of them win!"
She gets up and walks out looking a lot happier.

I am not finishing my book today.

#SF #SFF #Microfiction #tootfic #UrbanFantasy #CharlieAndToby #microfic #IAmWriting

Toby usually writes this, but he's a little indisposed right now, so I am guessing that I should write this down before things get forgotten.

This morning Toby went off to work as usual and I started going through my emails. Yes, the witch can use email. And text, and social media. I can even drive a car, and do my own banking.

Anyway. So far so normal. Late in the afternoon I had a call out to a farm just south of the city where a bunch of fae had come through a weakpoint. They were making crop circles, and setting up fairy rings, and generally causing trouble. I got down there and sent them back Underhill quick smart. Closing up the weak point took a little more time, so I did not get home until well after dinner.

Which is when I found Tobes at the front door, stoned. There was also a young medusa there, with a pair of broken sunglasses, bawling her eyes out. It looked like she'd been crying for a good couple of hours.

She'd come by to ask some relationship advice, and dropped her glasses just as Toby opened the door. He looked down, she looked up, and stoned him.

For my part, I'd spotted her before she spotted me, so I had my sunnies on quick smart.

Now I do know the counter spell, and did cast it, but it takes time for that spell to sink in (as it were), so he's going to be out of it for a few hours yet.

I was also able to fix her glasses (hooray for super glue), and I recommended that she invest in some contacts while she and her beau get to know each other better.

I'm sure he'll get used to her snakes (they both work at the zoo - so he's got to be OK with animals, right?), and after a few bites he'll become immune to her gaze.

For now I'm stuck for things to do, so I'm writing this for Tobes. So he remembers to do things like use the peephole before answering the door.

Charlie signing off.

#SF #SFF #Tootfic #Microfiction #UrbanFantasy #IAmWriting #CharlieAndToby

It's 6AM on a Tuesday, and I'm letting myself back into the house so I can have breakfast before work.

Charlie is sitting at the kitchen table. This is odd, because she tends to sleep in. We kiss, and I sit down.

"How did it go?" she asks, eyes bright with excitement.
"Terrible. Her roommate was already awake, and had seen her. She thought Anthea was dead."
"Oh no!"

There was something off about that. My brain finally caught up with me. I look at my much better half suspiciously. "You've spoken with Candice, haven't you?"
"Maybe." She stretches the first syllable out for a good ten seconds more that was required. "And Anthea called. You left the shears behind."
"I made the cut and got out as fast as I could. She was naked."
"Love, she knew you were coming over, she knew you'd see her. She's not angry."
"But I'm angry at myself!"
"Why?"
"Because I think she's pretty."
"Well, duh! Of course she is. You'd have to be a corpse not to notice, and I rather prefer you alive."
"Yes, but..."
"No buts. I think she's very attractive too. Not that I'm looking for a relationship with a girl less than half our ages. She trusts you. And the way you are over-reacting shows that she's right to."

I think about this, and Charlie gets up, comes around the table, sits on my lap, and gives me a deep kiss. "There, see? I'm not angry. Anthea's not angry. And we are still in love with each other. Anyway, I know that there is no chance of her making a pass at you."
"Huh?" Charlie is a witch, and a powerful one, but reading minds is not one of her powers.
"Oh, Tobes, didn't you notice when she and her mum came over? She was checking me out, not you."
"I did, but Charlie, you're gorgeous. You'd have to be a corpse not to notice!"
"Touche', but trust me, she's gay. Even if she does not realise it herself yet. Candice and I have a standing bet about when and how she comes out."

I shake my head. "Okay... I'll believe you."
"As you should." She kisses me again, quite a bit more insistently.

I am rather late getting in to the office.

#SF #SFF #Tootfic #Microfiction #IAmWriting #CharlieAndToby

@SFFMagazineCovers

Nicola pondered her room-mate's naked body. Sometime overnight, she appeared to have died and sprouted flowers.

This was very not normal. She was trying to decide between calling the police and an ambulance (and very much avoiding thinking of calling landscapers) when she heard a noise at the door to the apartment.

Coming into the lounge room was a tall figure, dressed in black, with a dark hood over their head, carrying a massive blade. She did what you'd expect under those circumstances and screamed.

So did he, and then fell over backwards, tripping over his own feet.

"Who the heck are you?" they asked at the same time. Then the man on the floor waved his now empty hand "I'll go first. I'm Toby, I work with Anthea."

"What are you doing here? With a bloody machete?"

"What machete? Oh! The shears! Anthea asked me to come by early and give her a trim before... oh. I'm too late, aren't I?"

"Very much so. She's dead. And what sort of a trim would you be doing with garden shears?"

"I doubt she's dead. A small flower bush? Sprouting from her?"

"Yes. What do you know about it?"

"It's her story to tell. Look, let me trim it, and then she'll explain."

Nicola reluctantly nodded. It wasn't like he could kill Anthea more.

Toby got up, picked up the shears and stepped into Anthea's room. Then he stepped out and turned around blushing. He grabbed his phone from his belt. "Uh, Candice? Yeah, I'm there, but, look, she's .. umm... yes. You're sure? Okay, but if she hits me, I'm blaming you."

He turned again and determinedly went back in. Nicola watched as he very carefully, with one cut flush with Anthea's skin, removed the burst of flowers. He dropped the shears and all but ran from the room.

Nicola watched him, and then heard a noise behind her, looking back, there was Anthea, yawning and stretching.

Then the now ex-corpse looked around. "Shit. Toby was late, wasn't he? Can you hand me my robe, Nicky?"

Nicola roboticly handed the robe over.
"Thanks," she raised her voice "I'm decent!" More softly "Sit down, Nicky. We'll explain."

Toby came back in "Sorry, I didn't, oh gods, Charlie's going to kill me."

"No she won't," Anthea replied and then, in an aside to Nicola, "that's his wife."

"What... just happened?" Nicola finally managed to get out.

"Well, as you might have guessed, I'm not quite human. And my Mum's engineering of me has a few quirks. Especially around spring. Flowering puts me into a coma until the flowers are removed or die off. I knew I was about to bud, so I asked Toby to give me a trim so I wouldn't miss work. He was meant to come by before you woke up."

"What are you?"
"Well, Charlie calls me a dryad."

"I'll see myself out." Toby said quietly as he sidled out.

#SF #SFF #microfiction #Tootfic #IAmWriting #CharlieAndToby

It's Friday around 9pm, and we're driving home from dinner at the pub.

Charlie has her seat laid back a bit, and is chewing her bottom lip a little.

"Love, you have your thinking face on." I say.
"Hmm. Yes."
I wait while she chews over her thoughts.
"What do you know about Anthea?" she asks after a few minutes.
"Not much. Started in the call centre a couple of months ago. Seems to fit in OK. Why?"
"She's not human. And I don't know what she is."
"So she's an alien?"
"I don't think so. She fits in too well. And the way she swore at me for the trick with the wing was too natural. I guess her parents could be, and she was raised here. But no. I think she's just something I've never seen before."
We drive on for a bit.
"I know she has her lunch in the park." I supply after a few more minutes. "And I think she's on the day shift next week."
"Alright. I'll talk to her then. Somewhere nice and neutral."
We get home, and after cuddling and giggling at cat videos for an hour or so, turn in for the night.

It is now 10am on Saturday, we've finished a leisurely breakfast, and Charlie is washing up when there is a soft tapping on our door. We look at each other, and I go and answer it.

Standing at the door is Anthea, and just behind her is an older woman - around my age, although in much better shape than I am.

"Hi Toby. This is Candice, my mum." I do a quick double take, but no, this is not Candy-the-werewolf. "I figured your wife probably noticed something off about me, I looked you up on the white pages."

I looked them over. Anthea looked embarrassed, while her mum was standing confidently. "Come on in. Lounge room is that way." I point "Sweety! Anthea and her mum are here."
Charlie comes out of the kitchen, looks at them, and then looks again.
Candice speaks up "I can explain."
We get seated, and I make introductions.
Candice takes the lead "OK, so I am human, and Anthea is my daughter."
Charlie nods, and she continues "Her father isn't. It took me a good ten years to get our genes to work together. As it is Anthea is about 80% human."
"And the other 20%?" I ask.
"Plant. A South American plant that, um.."
Charlie's eyes narrow, and then widen, and she grins. "Looks like a cross between a pitcher plant and a Venus flytap, only about ten feet tall?"
"Uh, yes."
"So you have a symbiotic pairing. How lovely. And you've created a dryad! Oh this explains everything!" exclaims Charlie excitedly.
Anthea looks relieved at that.
"Right then. Tea? Coffee? Something else?" I cut in, now that the tension is broken. I can see I'm going to have to ask Charlie about what sort of plant later.

-----
Candice previously appeared in https://aus.social/users/rdm/statuses/113033681406444679 and https://aus.social/@rdm/114510127680594433

#CharlieAndToby #SF #SFF #microfiction #tootfic #IAmWriting

2/2

Not many people know this, but the server room has a drop down staircase to the roof. As there is a guard-rail, we don't need a Working At Heights ticket to go up there.

I shrug "Sure" at least it will get the chicken leg out of the server room. I wedge the laptop into the rack, and drop down the stairs. I wave the mystery woman over, and we go up onto the roof.
"So where is that machine that you were working on?" she asks, and then follows with "Exactly, please."

Fortunately for her, that particular rack is right next to one of the aircon vents. I walk over, shuffle a little, and point down. "Right here."
She comes over and draws an X with a sharpie, then looks up asking "May I?" and pointing to the spot.
I step aside, and watch in amazement as she gets out a watch, compass, and a sextant. She takes some bearings, does a very expert sun-shot, and notes everything down in sharpie on the roof. Then she takes the chicken leg and holds it out above the X. And lets go.

It hangs there - meat end down.

Then she draws on it with the sharpie, and it suddenly jerks horizontal, the bone end pointing to the water tower. She hums and taps the leg aside. It swings back.

"Well that settles it. Your machine is haunted. Mr..."
"Reynolds. Toby Reynolds. What do you mean haunted? Ms...?"
"Charlotte Hampstead. And I mean you have, well, a ghost in your machine."
"Am I going to have to call the Major?" referring to the classic anime.
She laughs "No, if Ms Kusanagi were real, this would not be her problem. It is mine. Come on, let's send them on."
---
"And so we went back down, she drew a magic circle around the rack, and sent the poor bugger off to his just reward. The problem emails stopped, so I figured that she was right."
"And then I asked him out for coffee" Charlie cuts in.

Anthea considers this, and then frowns "What happened to the chicken leg?"
Charlie grins "I like this one, she's sharp. It was burnt up as a part of the exorcism. Aside from checking the ley lines, I needed the sacrifice outside the server room so it didn't set off the sprinklers when it burned."

#SF #SFF #UrbanFantasy #microfiction #Tootfic #IAmWriting #CharlieAndToby

1/2

It is nine o'clock on a... Well no. It is 4:45 on a Friday afternoon, and we've all knocked off to go down to the pub. Charlie is meeting me there, and we'll probably do dinner there. She doesn't usually turn up to after-work drinks, but Anthea was coming off shift and asked if she could meet her.

We walk in, and I can see that Charlie has already claimed one of the long tables. I give her a hello kiss, and we all sit down. Anthea makes a point of sitting across from us.

She is clearly trying to reconcile the two of us. Me, I'm a skinny middle-aged geek in a tee shirt and jeans. Charlie has an ageless elegance. She's dressed in a black singlet and vest combo over culottes with a flamingo print.

"So this is the new one, Tobes?" she asks me.
"Yep. Anthea, meet my wife Charlotte."
"Hi... so... um... well, how did you two meet?"
"It's your story Tobes. You tell it."
I take a sip of the drink that has arrived in front of me. "OK. So. Once up on a time, about thirty years ago, I was working at the University in the tech department..."
---
I'm standing in the server room, with a laptop balanced against one of the racks, plugged into a server that was misbehaving really strangely. Every now and then, it was sending garbled emails to all the local users. And when I say garbled, I am not talking about the system alert emails, no these were something else. On top of that every few hours the load on the system would spike, and then drop down again - to no apparent pattern. I've unplugged it from the network, and I've got a sacrificial laptop plugged in in case there is some sort of virus.

I'm puzzling over how ordinary the log files are, when I hear the server room door open. I look up, and instead of Steve, the other sysadmin, I see this young woman walk in carrying a raw chicken leg.
"Um, we don't allow food in here" I say.
"It isn't food, it is a tool," comes the reply.
"I'm pretty sure it has had tools used on it. Sharp ones. How did you get in here?"
"Steve let me in. I've got permission from the Board."
This puts me on the back foot a little. If she's running a con, she's going big as an opening gambit.
"The Board, what is it?" I ask.
Quick as a snake she replies "A bunch of old white men sitting around a big table, but that's not important right now."
That gets my attention. "Why have the Board of Management let you in here?"
"There's a resonance on the campus, and it is starting to get noticed. It seems to be coming from right there" she points with the chicken leg at the server I'm working on. Before I can answer, she continues "Can you get us onto the roof directly above this point?"

1/2

#SF #SFF #UrbanFantasy #microfiction #Tootfic #IAmWriting #CharlieAndToby

@econoprof
Well, I've just added a second story about them. #CharlieAndToby . This one looks in more at some of the things Charlotte does, and sort of ties in with https://aus.social/@rdm/114685402153136709

It's 3AM, I'm on-call, and my phone is ringing.

There's a burst of violet light from next to me. It arcs over me, and impacts against the magic circle around my phone.

I pick up the phone and answer "Hang on a tick." I give my sleeping wife a small nudge, and she mutters something in Latin, and rolls over.

"Toby here. What's broken?" I resume on the phone.
"Hi Toby, Anthea from the call centre. We've got an alert on Sirius12 - system load above predicted limits for over two hours."
"Hi Anthea. That should be OK, we set up some new processing rules, and it will take a couple of nights for the system to recognise the change. If you get the alert tomorrow, don't call, but if it happens after Wednesday, do call."
"OK, Toby. I'll make a note in the Tzzbrzzhgga Nil hzzthrg Grrzght!"
I roll back, and nudge my wife again. When she's asleep her magics sometimes get a bit feisty, and they interfere with the 4G signal. She turns over again.
"Are you still there Anthea?"
"Yes, what happened, I started hearing the strangest voices."
"You were probably hearing Charlotte's dream. Don't listen, and don't worry about it."
"Charlotte? Dream?"
"Yeah, look up the wiki entry about calling me. It's all in there."
I should know, after I cleared it with Charlie, I put it in there. There was a pause, presumably while she read the entry. "A witch??"
"Yep, and if the mobile gets too close when she's dreaming it picks up bits of it. Only her dreams are more like astral interventions, and you really don't want to listen in to those. There can be unpleasant side effects - for you."
"Are you having me on?"
"No, you can check in with my boss and HR. They know."
"..."
"Give me a call if there are any other problems. Good night Anthea."
I hung up, and cuddled in to Charlie, and tried to go back to sleep.

I'm a sysadmin. I manage a corporation's servers along with a team of eight. And my wife is a powerful witch. Really powerful. So all the electronics around the house are in magic circles to protect them from when she's asleep. I went through five phones (three mobile and two landline) before we got that sorted.

She's sort of a magical troubleshooter. That's how we met. She was dealing with a haunted server room. I was managing the servers. I really did have a ghost in my machine. She laughed at my jokes, and I didn't laugh at her work.

#SF #SFF #UrbanFantasy #microfiction #Tootfic #IAmWriting #CharlieAndToby