#toddlerdnd — Public Fediverse posts

New #ToddlerDnD Feat: Intrusive Thought

Once per scene (in combat, per round) Toddler class characters are mandated to roll D10 based on the Intrusive Thought Random Table, and immediately act upon the results of the roll.

1. Lick nearest object
2. Throw nearest object
3. Pee!
4. Stare intensely at nearest object for 60 seconds
5. Bite nearest creature
6. Stick nearest object in nose
7. Eat dirt
8. Fart dance!
9. Grab sensitive body part of party member
10. Jump into nearest trap

#parenting

New #ToddlerDnD spell:

INTERVENTION
Casting time: 2 hours (5 if at night)
Range: Self
Duration: Varies
Verbal component: A parent uttering the words "date night tomorrow"

This spell generates an immediate mystery illness, non-threatening but enough for Toddler character to require a Long Rest at home. Effects last until the possibility of free time for date night has passed.

#parenting #DnD #ttrpg

#ToddlerDnD adventure hook:

4:30 am: Toddler character wakes up. Long Rest cut short for everyone else.

4:30-4:45 am: Party members take turns rolling Persuasion checks to make Toddler go back to sleep. Critical fail.

4:50 am: Toddler agrees to do Play actions independently.

4:50-5:15: Toddler plays with Hammer toy from personal inventory.

5:15-5:45: Roll from random encounter table for other toys of various noise levels. Party members roll Wisdom saves to avoid Rage.

#parenting #DnD

Good news: The kid is very much excited about storytelling and role-playing games

Less good news: Now I have to run 45 minute RPG sessions during the morning commute before I had my first coffee 😅

#parenting #ToddlerDnD #ttrpg #DnD

The kid wailed until I volunteered to inhale her ice cream so she could munch on the cone in quiet satisfaction.

I effectively cast Cone of Silence.

#ToddlerDnD #parenting #DnD

New damage types just dropped for #ToddlerDnD

Eyeglass nose pad punched into eye socket
Damage: 2d12 blinding

Toe broken by dropped wooden block
Damage: 3d10 swearing

Nailbed bit while feeding piece of banana to Toddler
Damage: 2d6 radiating

Shoulder dislocated from sleeping on floor in one specific comforting position
Damage: 1d12 permanent

Stepping on D4 discarded in shag carpet:
... actually that was the DM's fault

#parenting #ttrpg

#ToddlerDnD

Kid at home: *wakes up at 5am and makes it everyone's problem*
Kid at Grandma's: *wakes up at 8:30am and tells us to be quiet because she still needs sleep*

Honestly, what is this?

+10 Toddler Handling?
Power Word?
Cone of Sleep?
Cookies of Extreme Chill?
Ray of Insult to Injury?

#parenting

#ToddlerDnD

Spell: Sleep

Target: Toddler class Small creatures

Range: 2 feet (if you move out of range you have to start the casting over)

Casting time: 30 to 120 minutes

Verbal components: Monotone rythmic lullaby

Somatic components: Pat PAT pat (NOT pat pat PAT)

Material components: Favorite Pillow, The Other Pillow, Not That Blanket, Non-Itchy Pajamas, 30+ plush toys, 3 glasses of water, and the rest of your sanity

Duration: a few hours if you're lucky

#parenting #DnD

#ToddlerDnD

Fighter:
- I hope to die in battle so I can go to Valhalla!

Cleric:
- That's okay, we haven't exited Combat since the Toddler joined the party.

#parenting

Kiddo keeps kicking off the blankets.

Me: Please stop kicking off the blankets and go to sleep.
Kid: What?
Me: Please stop kicking off the blankets, and go to sleep.
Kid: What?
Me: Please go to sleep.
Kid: WHAT??
Me *enunciating*: Please. Go. To sleep.
Kid: Mom I can't sleep if you are yelling!
Me: ....
Kid: Also I kicked off the blankets.

Rolling Wisdom save.

#parenting #ToddlerDnD

#ToddlerDnD

I am constantly feeling like parents have to take daily Alignment checks during Autumn Snot Season. Checks are administered by daycare/school staff.

I'm gonna need an alignment chart for this 😄

#parenting

#ToddlerDnD

PG: The Parents' Guild

A secret guild of former assassins that became parents and now they specialize in high-risk, targeted quests such as:

- Causing an accident-like injury to the client, nothing permanent, but enough to land them in the hospital for a few restful days

- Silencing noise-making gift toys for good, and making it look like an accident

- Removing questionable gifts before they are unwrapped and replacing them with required items without a trace

#parenting #ttrpg

#ToddlerDnD

Everyday time units:
One round = 6 seconds
Long rest = 8 hours

Weekend time units:
One round = 6 hours
Long rest = 8 seconds

#parenting

#ToddlerDnD

Conversation of Opportunity

While Toddler is out of range party members have exactly 1 Round for a CoO action.

CoO is 2x the speed of normal speech and has a chance to cover 1 of the following topics:

- "So, how have you been?"
- "How's that health thing you mentioned three days ago?"
- "I talked to the kid's teachers, here is the info about next week"
- "So I watched this really cool movie while you were asleep"
- INFO DUMP about new interest acquired 2 weeks ago

#parenting

#ToddlerDnD

Wild Magic random table for when you just put the kid down for a nap

1. Postman rings doorbell
2. Dog throws up
3. Someone calls on the phone you forgot to silence for once in your life
4. Stack of dishes crumbles
5. Neighbors decide to blast some tunes
6. Neighbors start renovations
7. Delivery guy calls because they can't find your door
8. Temu ad blares on the phone you forgot to silence for once in your life
9. Draft slams window
10. Power outage kicks in the alarm

#parenting

#ToddlerDnD

"You have to let your kids get bored! Boredom breeds creativity!"

Roll a D10 for every 30 minutes the Toddler has the Bored condition.
With each roll, the Toddler gains one of the following spells for free:

1. Color Spray
2. Knock
3. Spider Climb
4. Create or Destroy Water
5. Shatter
6. Vicious Mockery
7. Chaos Bolt
8. Nondetection
9. Storm of Vengeance
10. Psychic Scream

#parenting #ttrpg

#ToddlerDnD dungeon crawl:

Instead of fighting monsters and looting treasures, you just have to keep one party member (Toddler class) from taking as much damage as possible.

Dungeon rooms include:

- Room of Very Wobbly Chairs that Also Roll
- Room of Steep Stairs with Railings that Look Like Slides
- Room of Edible Looking Small Hard Objects
- Room of Enticing Treasures Put Up High and Small Stackable Furniture
- Room of Cleansing Water and Tile Floors
- Room of Lightning Damage

#parenting

#ToddlerDnD

Random encounter table for "I gotta go pee!"
(Roll D10)

1: Gotta put on a different sock
2: Stop to play with door handle
3: Ooh my old favorite toy!
4: Saw self in the mirror
5: Want a snack for the road
6: Gotta take socks off
7: Pushing button on musical toy
8: Gotta roll matchbox car along
9: MOM WALK WITH ME
10: Gotta walk backwards with eyes closed

Roll once for each 6 ft between the point of origin and the toilet.

Not the bathroom. The toilet.

#parenting

#ToddlerDnD
Vicious Mockery is out. New cantrip: Toddler Bullshit

Casting: 1 action
Target: any adult creature
Vocal component options include:

- Loudly demanding you cast a spell WHILE you are casting it
- Repeating your name at a high pitch 15 times in 1 round
- Asking WHY after each of your incantations
- Inarticulate screaming

If Target fails their Wis save they take 1D6 Psychic damage. After consecutive fails equal to their Wis modifier, they Rage. Regardless of class.

#Dnd #Parenting

Ray of Sickness, #ToddlerDnD edition:

Casting time: immediate
Range: the whole family
Components: verbal
Duration: the next 2 weeks
Verbal components that automatically cast this spell:

"Hey, we haven't been sick for almost a week!"

"Only two more days and we are visiting Grandma!

"Yes, we are going to the birthday party this weekend!"

"It has been rough, but I finally booked that weekend getaway we have been planning!"

"I have a very important meeting tomorrow."

#parenting #DnD

#ToddlerDnD fact: Naptime is one action.
You have a choice of the following options while the kid is out:

- Do a chore
- Inhale your food
- Stare vacantly into space
- Scroll through social media platform of choice
- Curl into a ball and cry
- Have a WhatsApp convo with friend
- Nap and regret
- Watch the clock as the minutes tick down
- Try to read
- Devour secret snack

#parenting #DnD

#ToddlerDnD

"I rolled a Nat 20 for searching the room!"

"Awesome! You found 345 hair clips, 143 hair ties, 3 missing puzzle pieces, 5.5 Barbie shoes, 37 socks, and 4 nose spray caps."

"And the toy I was looking for?"

"Nope, sorry."

#parenting #DnD

#ToddlerDnD

The Healing Spell components you have:
- Vitamin C
- Vitamin D
- aspirin
- herbal tea
- honey
- tissues
- throat losenge
- sheer force of will
- tearful prayers to the gods
- ginger shot

The Healing Spell components you would actually need:
- 7 days of uninterrupted long rest

🤷‍♀️

#parenting #DnD

#ToddlerDnD

Actions that provoke an immediate Attack of Opportunity from a Toddler class creature (when said creature has Condition: Sick):

- Offering medicine for their pain

- Offering to help them clean their airways

- Offering food

- Offering drink

- Offering other type of food

- Offering other type of drink

- Approaching with medicine-shaped object

- Suggesting more sleep

It's rough to be a Cleric in this party.

#DnD #parenting

#ToddlerDnD Wild Magic:

Verbal component: "Now I finally have some time to get back to my hobbies!"

Effect: Immediate routine breaking event selected from the random table below with a D12 roll

1. Ear infection
2. Tonsillitis
3. Head lice
4. PTA conflict
5. Skipping naps
6. Family holiday
7. Ear infection again
8. The poops
9. Can't sleep won't sleep
10. Childhood illness
11. Kindergarten break
12. More lice

#DnD #parenting

@TarkabarkaHolgy Does this have anyhing to do with #ToddlerDnD by any chance? :)

Seasonal Spells for #ToddlerDnD

Toddler's Vicious Snot: This spell initially impacts the member of the party with the lowest HP. It lasts for 2 days. After that it affects all other members of the party, is immune to Healing, and you need a 20+ Con saving throw to recover from it.

Fall Back: This spell interrupts the target's Long Rest one hour too soon. Every time. For about two weeks.

Toddler's Disappearing Accessories: This spell affects hats, gloves, scarves, and boots.

#parenting #DnD

#ToddlerDnD
Spells I would like to learn:

Dress Toddler: cantrip that replaces Pajamas with Outside Clothes instantly

Clean Sidewalk: Prestidgitation for the meltdown area, including soundproofing

Find Toy: the one that is immediately needed at bedtime even though we have not played with it for months

Remove the Ew: makes all the "ew" bits disappear from the plate of food (e.g. the shredded cheese from the spaghetti)

Sleep

#parenting #DnD

#ToddlerDnD Spell: Cleansing of Hands

Components:

- Material: Copious amounts of soap

- Verbal: I DO IT ALONE!

- Somatic: Wave hands in the general direction of water without actually touching it. Let soap drip down, then wave hands under water without rubbing, or washing off soap.

Casting time: 5 sec to eterinty

Duration: 1-3 min (until next encounter with difficult terrain, food, or small creature)

Effect: Toddler hands are clean on a spiritual level. Parent gets -2 Wisdom.

#parenting

#ToddlerDnD
"Sometimes you have to let the kids get Bored, it's good for their creativity!"

Bored condition for Toddler class:

- Casting Violent Scream is now a cantrip

- Gains a level in Artist with a specialization in Wall Drawing

- Gains reistsance to Power Word NO

- No check needed for finding traps as long as you immediately spring them

- Sibling Toddlers automatically Rage

Parental Short Rest:
- Parent regains 0 HP
- Parent temporarily loses 5 points in Wisdom

#patenting #DnD