#programmingjokes — Public Fediverse posts
Live and recent posts from across the Fediverse tagged #programmingjokes, aggregated by home.social.
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So, you want to build a "Fast Lock-Free Queue in Modern C++" from scratch? 🚀 Great idea! Because who doesn't want to spend their weekend reinventing a wheel that's already faster, shinier, and exists in every programming library since the dawn of time? 🛞🙄
https://blog.jaysmito.dev/blog/04-fast-lockfree-queues/ #FastLockFreeQueue #ModernC++ #CodingChallenge #SoftwareDevelopment #ProgrammingJokes #HackerNews #ngated -
So, you want to build a "Fast Lock-Free Queue in Modern C++" from scratch? 🚀 Great idea! Because who doesn't want to spend their weekend reinventing a wheel that's already faster, shinier, and exists in every programming library since the dawn of time? 🛞🙄
https://blog.jaysmito.dev/blog/04-fast-lockfree-queues/ #FastLockFreeQueue #ModernC++ #CodingChallenge #SoftwareDevelopment #ProgrammingJokes #HackerNews #ngated -
🚀 "Introducing the library that promises to make your computations as exciting as watching paint dry! 🎨🤖 Because who doesn't love scrolling through endless GitHub menus to achieve what a calculator could do in seconds? 🙄"
https://github.com/janestreet/incremental #excitingcomputations #GitHublibrary #techhumor #programmingjokes #tediouscoding #HackerNews #ngated -
🚀 "Introducing the library that promises to make your computations as exciting as watching paint dry! 🎨🤖 Because who doesn't love scrolling through endless GitHub menus to achieve what a calculator could do in seconds? 🙄"
https://github.com/janestreet/incremental #excitingcomputations #GitHublibrary #techhumor #programmingjokes #tediouscoding #HackerNews #ngated -
🚀 Ah, the dream of turning off Rust's borrow checker—because nothing says "I'm a coding genius" like breaking one of the language's core features for a laugh. 😂 But never fear, the "youcan" crate's here to let you shoot yourself in the foot with both barrels! 💥
https://docs.rs/you-can/latest/you_can/attr.turn_off_the_borrow_checker.html #RustLang #YouCan #Crate #CodingHumor #BorrowChecker #ProgrammingJokes #HackerNews #ngated -
🚀 Ah, the dream of turning off Rust's borrow checker—because nothing says "I'm a coding genius" like breaking one of the language's core features for a laugh. 😂 But never fear, the "youcan" crate's here to let you shoot yourself in the foot with both barrels! 💥
https://docs.rs/you-can/latest/you_can/attr.turn_off_the_borrow_checker.html #RustLang #YouCan #Crate #CodingHumor #BorrowChecker #ProgrammingJokes #HackerNews #ngated -
Oh joy, another package manager no one asked for, claiming to be faster than a caffeinated cheetah on a sugar high 🏃♂️💨. Written in #Zig, because why not? Apparently, it's 7,000x faster than Homebrew, but only if you squint hard enough and sacrifice a goat to the gods of #benchmarks 🐐🔮.
https://nanobrew.trilok.ai/ #packageManager #fasterThanHomebrew #techHumor #programmingJokes #HackerNews #ngated -
Oh joy, another package manager no one asked for, claiming to be faster than a caffeinated cheetah on a sugar high 🏃♂️💨. Written in #Zig, because why not? Apparently, it's 7,000x faster than Homebrew, but only if you squint hard enough and sacrifice a goat to the gods of #benchmarks 🐐🔮.
https://nanobrew.trilok.ai/ #packageManager #fasterThanHomebrew #techHumor #programmingJokes #HackerNews #ngated -
Ah yes, yet another attempt to decrypt the Rosetta Stone of #coding - "literate programming." 📚💻 A literary masterpiece where everyone pretends to understand #Knuth, while secretly just hoping the comments make the code run faster. 🤦♂️ Spoiler alert: It’s like Shakespearean sonnets but for the terminally nerdy.
https://pqnelson.github.io/2024/05/29/literate-programming.html #literateprogramming #humor #techliterature #nerdculture #programmingjokes #HackerNews #ngated -
Ah yes, yet another attempt to decrypt the Rosetta Stone of #coding - "literate programming." 📚💻 A literary masterpiece where everyone pretends to understand #Knuth, while secretly just hoping the comments make the code run faster. 🤦♂️ Spoiler alert: It’s like Shakespearean sonnets but for the terminally nerdy.
https://pqnelson.github.io/2024/05/29/literate-programming.html #literateprogramming #humor #techliterature #nerdculture #programmingjokes #HackerNews #ngated -
🧐🤦♂️ Behold, the most riveting mystery of our time: a URL in C that compiles! Apparently, https:// is just a cunningly disguised label. Who knew?! 🏆 Clearly, this revelation changes everything we knew about programming. 😂
https://susam.net/url-in-c.html #CProgramming #URLMystery #CodingHumor #TechRevelation #ProgrammingJokes #HackerNews #ngated -
🧐🤦♂️ Behold, the most riveting mystery of our time: a URL in C that compiles! Apparently, https:// is just a cunningly disguised label. Who knew?! 🏆 Clearly, this revelation changes everything we knew about programming. 😂
https://susam.net/url-in-c.html #CProgramming #URLMystery #CodingHumor #TechRevelation #ProgrammingJokes #HackerNews #ngated -
🐍🤔 Oh no, #Python allocates integers on the heap! Quick, someone alert the media! 📢 As if the Python team hasn't been dealing with this trivial "discovery" since the dawn of time. Maybe next week we'll get to the bottom of why water is wet. 💧
https://zackoverflow.dev/writing/how-often-does-python-allocate/ #Heap #Memory #PythonCommunity #TechHumor #SoftwareDevelopment #ProgrammingJokes #HackerNews #ngated -
🐍🤔 Oh no, #Python allocates integers on the heap! Quick, someone alert the media! 📢 As if the Python team hasn't been dealing with this trivial "discovery" since the dawn of time. Maybe next week we'll get to the bottom of why water is wet. 💧
https://zackoverflow.dev/writing/how-often-does-python-allocate/ #Heap #Memory #PythonCommunity #TechHumor #SoftwareDevelopment #ProgrammingJokes #HackerNews #ngated -
Ah, yes, because clearly everyone needs their very own Command Line Interface Übermensch to navigate the mind-boggling complexity of... writing basic scripts. 🙄 Why buy a tool when you can spend eons building a half-baked one with more acronyms than usefulness? 🛠️💡
https://martinfowler.com/articles/build-own-coding-agent.html #CommandLineInterface #ScriptWriting #TechHumor #SoftwareDevelopment #ProgrammingJokes #HackerNews #ngated -
Ah, yes, because clearly everyone needs their very own Command Line Interface Übermensch to navigate the mind-boggling complexity of... writing basic scripts. 🙄 Why buy a tool when you can spend eons building a half-baked one with more acronyms than usefulness? 🛠️💡
https://martinfowler.com/articles/build-own-coding-agent.html #CommandLineInterface #ScriptWriting #TechHumor #SoftwareDevelopment #ProgrammingJokes #HackerNews #ngated -
Me, telling my brother about a hard day: "and I was facing a hard problem with my code at work, and I also had to take care of that leak I had failed to fix in --"
Him, thinking: "(surely that must be C code)"
Me: "-- the bathroom sink" -
Me, telling my brother about a hard day: "and I was facing a hard problem with my code at work, and I also had to take care of that leak I had failed to fix in --"
Him, thinking: "(surely that must be C code)"
Me: "-- the bathroom sink" -
A la la la la int64,
A la la la la int64 int64 li int64 int64 int64,
Come on! -
A la la la la int64,
A la la la la int64 int64 li int64 int64 int64,
Come on! -
Rex Wang rewrote Kafka in Rust, creating StoneMQ - a blazing-fast, efficient message queue.
#Rust #Kafka #rustlang #programmingjokes
https://wangjunfei.com/2025/06/18/Rewriting-Kafka-in-Rust-Async-Insights-and-Lessons-Learned/
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Rex Wang rewrote Kafka in Rust, creating StoneMQ - a blazing-fast, efficient message queue.
#Rust #Kafka #rustlang #programmingjokes
https://wangjunfei.com/2025/06/18/Rewriting-Kafka-in-Rust-Async-Insights-and-Lessons-Learned/
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🖥️ Ah yes, because what the world really needed was yet another 'simple' programming language that promises to turn your browser into a coding paradise. 🌐 It's like someone thought, "How can we make coding even more like a PowerPoint presentation?" ❌🚀
https://tiki.li/apps/tut_learn.html?v=2505e #simpleprogramming #languages #codingparadise #browsercoding #techhumor #programmingjokes #HackerNews #ngated -
🖥️ Ah yes, because what the world really needed was yet another 'simple' programming language that promises to turn your browser into a coding paradise. 🌐 It's like someone thought, "How can we make coding even more like a PowerPoint presentation?" ❌🚀
https://tiki.li/apps/tut_learn.html?v=2505e #simpleprogramming #languages #codingparadise #browsercoding #techhumor #programmingjokes #HackerNews #ngated -
Why would anyone need a whole framework to pass a value into a constructor? 🤔 It's like hiring a team of architects to help you open a door. 🚪 Let’s face it, the real 'dependency injection' here is injecting #common #sense into tech discussions. 😂
http://rednafi.com/go/di_frameworks_bleh/ #dependencyinjection #techhumor #softwaredevelopment #programmingjokes #HackerNews #ngated -
Why would anyone need a whole framework to pass a value into a constructor? 🤔 It's like hiring a team of architects to help you open a door. 🚪 Let’s face it, the real 'dependency injection' here is injecting #common #sense into tech discussions. 😂
http://rednafi.com/go/di_frameworks_bleh/ #dependencyinjection #techhumor #softwaredevelopment #programmingjokes #HackerNews #ngated -
It's been a long journey...
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It's been a long journey...
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🤓 Ah, yes, because everyone has been clamoring to handcraft their own one-time password algorithms instead of using the perfectly good ones that already exist. 🔧 Clearly, the pinnacle of tech wizardry is reinventing wheels that came pre-invented. 🛞
https://blog.dogac.dev/how-do-one-time-passwords-work/ #techhumor #reinventthewheel #cybersecurity #one-timepasswords #programmingjokes #HackerNews #ngated -
🤓 Ah, yes, because everyone has been clamoring to handcraft their own one-time password algorithms instead of using the perfectly good ones that already exist. 🔧 Clearly, the pinnacle of tech wizardry is reinventing wheels that came pre-invented. 🛞
https://blog.dogac.dev/how-do-one-time-passwords-work/ #techhumor #reinventthewheel #cybersecurity #one-timepasswords #programmingjokes #HackerNews #ngated -
2B Or Not 2B? 🤔
Boolean logic meets Shakespeare.
if (2b || !2b) return "That is the question."🔗 https://techgeeksapparel.com/2b-or-not-2b-that-is-the-question/
#ProgrammingJokes #BooleanLogic #DeveloperHumor #CodeLife -
2B Or Not 2B? 🤔
Boolean logic meets Shakespeare.
if (2b || !2b) return "That is the question."🔗 https://techgeeksapparel.com/2b-or-not-2b-that-is-the-question/
#ProgrammingJokes #BooleanLogic #DeveloperHumor #CodeLife -
Being a dev means trying to explain something to a non-dev...
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and halfway through, realizing you don’t fully understand it either. -
Being a dev means trying to explain something to a non-dev...
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and halfway through, realizing you don’t fully understand it either. -
How do you spot a hipster programmer?
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They were using Rust before it was cool. -
How do you spot a hipster programmer?
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They were using Rust before it was cool. -
How do trees access the internet?
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They log in. -
How do trees access the internet?
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They log in. -
Why did the developer break up with their array?
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It was too one-dimensional. -
Why did the developer break up with their array?
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It was too one-dimensional. -
Why don't C++ programmers get lost?
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They always have a pointer. -
Why don't C++ programmers get lost?
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They always have a pointer. -
Why don't programmers like to golf?
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They can't stand the buggy environment. -
Why don't programmers like to golf?
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They can't stand the buggy environment. -
TypeScript is that friend who corrects your grammar in every conversation.
js: I have a number!
ts: Actually, that's an implicit any. Please specify a type.
js: But it works...
ts: For now 😈#TypeScript #JavaScript #CodingHumor #DeveloperLife #ProgrammingJokes #TechMemes #TypeSafety #CodeQuality #DevCommunity #FunnyProgramming
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TypeScript is that friend who corrects your grammar in every conversation.
js: I have a number!
ts: Actually, that's an implicit any. Please specify a type.
js: But it works...
ts: For now 😈#TypeScript #JavaScript #CodingHumor #DeveloperLife #ProgrammingJokes #TechMemes #TypeSafety #CodeQuality #DevCommunity #FunnyProgramming
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What do you call a variable on a raft?
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A float. -
What do you call a variable on a raft?
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A float. -
A programmer is made up of:
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1% writing code
9% reading code
90% trying to understand the code you wrote yesterday -
A programmer is made up of:
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1% writing code
9% reading code
90% trying to understand the code you wrote yesterday -
Where do computers go to dance?
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The disk-O.
