#notmyfault — Public Fediverse posts
Live and recent posts from across the Fediverse tagged #notmyfault, aggregated by home.social.
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The CEO of IKEA has just been appointed as the Prime Minister of Sweden.
He’s currently assembling his cabinet.
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How much to hire a church singing group?
You mean a choir?
Fine, how much to acquire a church singing group?
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To everyone who says telepathy is an invasion of privacy: your thoughts are simply very enthusiastic about making themselves known. I can't help what broadcasts itself. #LwaxanaTroi #NotMyFault #AllStarTrek #StarTrek #StarTrekTNG #TNG #StarTrekDS9 #DS9 #Mastodon
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Did you hear about the guy who collapsed trying to climb Mount Everest?
Authorities just found Himalayan there.
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Buddha: one sandwich, please.
Vendor: what do you want on it?
Buddha: make me one with everything. 🧘🏻 -
(Psst…hey, kids. This is from the Oregon Trail game that originated in the 80s. Look it up!)
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There only two white actors in the movie “Black Panther.” Martin Freeman, who played Bilbo Baggins in “Lord of the Rings,” and Andy Serkis, who played Gollum.
They are the Tolkien white guys.
(Paraphrased from NerdsWithVaginas.)
#DadJokes #MomJokes #Puns #NotMyFault #NoReallyThisTimeNerdsWithVaginasIsAtFault
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@mmiasma Oh, in certain situations I have zero problem telling people I'm Canadian. It is the orange clown and his enablers who are dishonoring the memory of the remarkable people in our history. The thing that's important to me when I travel is to stay safe. And I also really don't want to hear people complaining to me about how fucked up my country is since every vote I've cast would have prevented this, had the person I voted for won. #NotMyFault
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En daar gáát mijn goede voornemen om me minder op te winden over politiek… 😡
#notmyfault -
How many therapists does it take to change a light bulb?
One. But the bulb has to want to change.
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LOOK EVERYBODY,
It's a #sassy #hellthread that I took NO PART IN!
IT HAPPENS!!! SOMETIMES!?!?
https://mastodon.social/@murena/115656237852149287
P.S., slightly tempted to jump in, but now I can't because I wrote this. lol
#deltachat #xmpp #murena #debian #freebsd #SassyGrumpyPeople #NotMyFault
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RE: https://mastodon.social/@MugsysRapSheet/115639275632510417
DESPITE being told during her introduction on Fox that the #DCNG shooter was vetted *during #RipOneWinkle's first term" (and then again just this past April), that #Didn't stop AG #BlondiBondi from blaming "the #Biden Administration a dozen times" during her interview.
On #MtP, #GardenNoem clearly received the same marching orders, blaming Biden an additional dozen+ times. #NotMyFault #DontBlameMe
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It’s Halloween. Who would I be if I didn’t throw out some dad jokes about it?
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In honor of our Portland frog protesters…
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What kind of shoes do frogs wear?
Open-toad sandals.
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I stayed up all night wondering where the sun had gone.
Then it dawned on me.
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But shitty #AI is exactly what people want; some abstract oracle that you can outsource all thinking and responsibility to. Consequences be damned.
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If he can’t appreciate your fruit jokes, you need to let that mango.
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Heading to volunteer yesterday to and got rear-ended. Not in the fun for either of us. Nice man, very apologetic. I was at a dead stop, red light.
His GMC small SUV was crunched a lot worse. -
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