#negativity — Public Fediverse posts
Live and recent posts from across the Fediverse tagged #negativity, aggregated by home.social.
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How to Stop Self Sabotage
You know exactly what you need to do. You have known for a while. And yet you keep not doing it.
You procrastinate on the thing that matters most. You start and then stop. You get close to something good and then somehow find a way to mess it up. You make progress and then quietly undo it. You tell yourself you will start properly on Monday, or next month, or when things settle down, and they never do.
This is self-sabotage. And it is not a personality flaw. It is not laziness. It is fear wearing a very convincing disguise.
Why We Sabotage Ourselves
Self-sabotage happens when part of you wants to move forward, and another part of you is terrified of what moving forward actually means.
Maybe success would mean more responsibility, more visibility, more risk of failure at a higher level. Maybe the new version of you would not fit into the relationships and environments you have built your life around. Maybe deep down, you do not actually believe you deserve what you say you want.
None of this is conscious. You do not sit down and decide to sabotage yourself. It is quieter than that. It shows up as distraction, as busyness, as suddenly finding ten other things that need doing right before you sit down to work on the thing that matters. It shows up as the argument you pick before a big opportunity, or the impulse to drink too much the night before something important.
The behaviour looks irrational from the outside. But it makes perfect sense once you understand what it is actually protecting you from: the risk of really trying and still failing.
The Patterns to Watch For
Procrastination as protection. If you never fully commit to something, you never fully fail at it. Keeping things at the planning stage forever means you always have the option of saying you could have done it if you had really tried. That protection is costing you the actual thing you want.
Self-destructive behaviour before high-stakes moments. Notice if you tend to drink more, sleep less, pick fights, or make impulsive decisions right before something important. This is not a coincidence. It is your nervous system trying to create a built-in excuse.
Rejecting good things before they can reject you. Pulling away from relationships that are going well. Quitting jobs before you can be fired. Leaving before you can be left. This is self-sabotage disguised as independence.
Perfectionism as an excuse not to start. If it has to be perfect before you begin, you will never begin. Perfectionism is not high standards. It is fear of being judged for something imperfect, so you produce nothing instead.
How to Actually Break the Pattern
The first step is awareness. You cannot change a pattern you cannot see. Start noticing when it happens. Not to judge yourself, but to get curious. What were you about to do before the sabotage kicked in? What specifically were you afraid of?
The second step is to change the question you ask yourself. Instead of “why do I keep doing this,” which is a shame spiral, ask “what am I protecting myself from right now?” That question opens up something useful. It treats the sabotage as information rather than evidence of your worthlessness.
The third step is to take the smallest possible action in the direction you want to go. Not the whole thing. Not a perfect version of it. The smallest thing. Momentum is built by doing, not by thinking about doing. Every small action you complete tells your nervous system that moving forward is survivable.
This is not a quick fix. These patterns are usually deeply rooted and do not disappear after one insight. But they do change with consistent, honest attention over time. And they change faster when you have someone helping you see what you cannot see yourself.
Ready to stop getting in your own way? I work with men who can see the pattern but need help actually breaking it. Book a free 30-minute call and let’s get into it.
#growth #mentalHealth #motivation #negativity #personalGrowth #procrastination #selfDoubt #ZsoltZsemba -
“Good morning, Eeyore,” said Pooh.
“Good morning, Pooh Bear,” said Eeyore gloomily. “If it is a good morning,” he said. “Which I doubt,” said he.A. A. Milne (1882-1956) English poet and playwright [Alan Alexander Milne]
Winnie-the-Pooh, ch. 6 “Eeyore Has a Birthday” (1926)More info about this quote: wist.info/milne-a-a/2850/
#quote #quotes #quotation #qotd #aamilne #pooh #poohbear #winniethepooh #eeyore #attitude #depression #gloom #goodmorning #greeting #negativity #pessimism #pleasantry
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“Good morning, Eeyore,” said Pooh.
“Good morning, Pooh Bear,” said Eeyore gloomily. “If it is a good morning,” he said. “Which I doubt,” said he.A. A. Milne (1882-1956) English poet and playwright [Alan Alexander Milne]
Winnie-the-Pooh, ch. 6 “Eeyore Has a Birthday” (1926)More info about this quote: wist.info/milne-a-a/2850/
#quote #quotes #quotation #qotd #aamilne #pooh #poohbear #winniethepooh #eeyore #attitude #depression #gloom #goodmorning #greeting #negativity #pessimism #pleasantry
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The Silent Damage of “You Will Never Win”
https://wp.me/p84YjG-5P8
#PowerOfWords #MentalHealth #Negativity #Healing #negativity #EmotionalWellness #zsoltzsembahttps://zsoltzsemba.com/the-silent-damage-of-you-will-never-win/
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🎭 Marc's 'career advice' blog is like a stand-up #comedy set that forgot to be funny. His groundbreaking tip? Avoid #negativity and echo chambers - because nobody's ever thought of that before! 😂 If only he could serverlessly weld some #originality into his advice! 👨💻🤦♂️
https://brooker.co.za/blog/2025/06/20/career.html #careeradvice #HackerNews #HackerNews #ngated -
The power of reframing negative thoughts
As the self-conscious individuals that we are, it’s impossible to go an entire day with zero negative thoughts entering the mind. Despite the difficulty of that task, I used to subscribe to a ‘no-negativity’ mindset.
It’s incredibly important to always think on the bright side and come up with the positives in any situation, but the negative thoughts don’t always have to be diminished. In fact, it’s the negative thoughts that can spur on positive thoughts if treated correctly.
In creating training plans for other runners, I’ve often asked my athletes to subscribe to the same ‘no negative thoughts’ policy. I’ve since realized that the negative thoughts are not the problem. It’s how long we let those negative mindsets fester, and what we do about them.
To give you an example, in my recent Sulphur Springs 50k, I recognized as early as 4 kilometres into the race that my hamstrings were already showing signs of wanting to burst out! This inherently was a negative thought, and one that I couldn’t avoid from creeping into my brain. But it’s also one that I was right to bring to the surface and recognize, so that I could then react accordingly. And that’s exactly what I did. I fuelled early and often with electrolytes, water and other nutrition to counter-act the tightness from getting worse. In the process, I managed to delay my suffering and a complete cramp until the final three kilometres of the race.
Throughout the race, I thought about my hamstring and how it was feeling tight. But I also thought about how the guys ahead of me went out at course-record pace, and that one of them was bound to blow up. I told myself over and over “someone’s going to blow up, and it’s not going to be you.” While I did ultimately end up cramping late into the race, having a positive attitude despite my potential for misfortune allowed me to stay present, and continue to kick it into high-gear without feeling sorry for myself.
So much of ultramarathon running is about who can delay their suffering the longest. Much of that comes from training all sides of the process, from speed to nutrition, hydration, climbing, strength, and mental fortitude. But it also comes from staying positive even when things start to not go your way. Much of what’s happening in the body when things start to go wrong are only signals and “check-engine lights”. They are not catastrophic events that become unrepairable. A lot of the time, the mind is even capable of exaggerating the pain and making it worse than it seems.
But what I’m subscribing is not about pushing that pain away and ignoring the negativity going on inside your mind. Instead, it’s about staying present and continuing to push past the pain when it’s safe to do so. It’s about continuing to engage in self-talk and visualization throughout the race so that you can stay in the moment. It’s about preparing for those events before the race so you know exactly how you’re going to deal with them when they ultimately happen 47km into the race. It’s even about reframing those negative thoughts as positive ones.
If I’m suddenly going slower because my hamstrings are cramping with three kilometres to go, I can think about this in several different ways without panicking. I can think about how I’ve already done the hard work to get into the position I’m in, and how lucky I am that the cramping didn’t happen earlier. I can even stay present in the moment and know that the race still isn’t over, and that I have a chance of catching what’s ahead of me if I just keep pushing. I don’t have to worry about what’s behind me and all that could go wrong. I can instead reframe my mind to think about all that could go right if I keep pushing.
This is exactly what I did in hunting down 2nd place in my recent Sulphur Springs 50k. I hadn’t run anywhere near second place all day, and for the final twenty-kilometres, I had no idea how far ahead they were. But I kept controlling all the things that I could control and continued at my pace for as long as I could hang on, knowing that if I did, I could have a chance of hunting down that person ahead of me. Eventually, I closed the gap to just milliseconds, after not being in it with a fight whatsoever.
Had I panicked and thrown the race away within those last three kilometres, I would have likely finished fifth or sixth, walking to the finish line after fighting for three and a half hours to stay within reach of the podium. But instead of letting the negative problem rule my race with three kilometres to go, I kept pushing right to the line, nearly securing silver instead. This is the mindset I want all of my athletes to develop.
Negative thoughts are not inherently bad, but it’s what you do with those negative thoughts that truly matters.
Thanks for reading & see you soon!
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