#intellectualshitposting — Public Fediverse posts

philosophers are like a buffet - more questionable dishes 🧵 2/?

(worked hard on this, be kind)

Zeno of Citium invented Stoicism, the philosophy of accepting whatever daddy capitalism does to you with a smile. basically philosophical BDSM without the fun parts or aftercare. the ultimate submissive's guide to letting the world raw dog you while pretending you wanted it that way. also made the unforgivable sin of spawning generations of tech bros quoting Marcus Aurelius while building surveillance capitalism and calling their emotional constipation "virtue." bonus points for inspiring LinkedIn philosophers who think "the obstacle is the way" means exploiting their workers harder

Schopenhauer grasped the fundamental nature of suffering while being its perfect embodiment. wrote an entire philosophy around being an incel, yet his insights on will and representation resonate perfectly in those dark 3am moments of clarity

Kierkegaard understood existential dread so well because he lived it. spent his life wrestling with faith, anxiety, and regret over a broken engagement. brilliant on paper, but perhaps needed less contemplation and more touching grass

de Beauvoir revolutionized feminist philosophy while trapped in philosophy's most toxic relationship. wrote about women's liberation and authenticity while letting a narcissistic existentialist control her narrative. the irony burns

Kropotkin watched ants share food and decided humans could do better. noble idea, but maybe spent too much time with cooperative insects and not enough time watching people fight over parking spots. still, his analysis of mutual aid shaped revolutionary thought

Hegel constructed an entire philosophical system to explain everything, then explained it in the most convoluted way possible. thesis: brilliant insights, antithesis: impenetrable prose, synthesis: philosophical migraine

Jung mapped the collective unconscious then got so lost in it he built a tower and invented languages. went from analyzing archetypes to living them, which is either madness or transcendence. possibly both

Wittgenstein solved all of philosophy's problems twice, declared philosophy meaningless both times, yet couldn't stop philosophizing. threw away wealth to teach children, then got frustrated when they didn't understand logical positivism

Baudrillard predicted our descent into hyperreality while becoming increasingly unreal himself. wrote about the death of reality while reality died around him. simultaneously predicted social media brain rot but didn't go far enough

Epicurus preached pleasure as the highest good but defined it as "not being disturbed." founded a philosophy of hedonism that mainly involved eating simple meals and having lengthy discussions about atoms. task failed successfully

Zinn rewrote history from below while academia clutched its pearls. showed us the people's story but thought education alone could overcome power. he gave us the tools to understand why we need to burn it all down. READ PEOPLE'S HISTORY

give me Emma Goldman - she knew theory meant nothing without dancing with a molotov in one hand and a lover in the other

#IntellectualShitposting #ProfessionalHeretic #PhilosophicallyUndomesticated #philosophy #praxis #theory #PhilosophyMemes #existentialism #nihilism #anarchism #HedonistLife #DirectAction

philosophers are like a buffet - more questionable dishes 🧵 2/?

(worked hard on this, be kind)

Zeno of Citium invented Stoicism, the philosophy of accepting whatever daddy capitalism does to you with a smile. basically philosophical BDSM without the fun parts or aftercare. the ultimate submissive's guide to letting the world raw dog you while pretending you wanted it that way. also made the unforgivable sin of spawning generations of tech bros quoting Marcus Aurelius while building surveillance capitalism and calling their emotional constipation "virtue." bonus points for inspiring LinkedIn philosophers who think "the obstacle is the way" means exploiting their workers harder

Schopenhauer grasped the fundamental nature of suffering while being its perfect embodiment. wrote an entire philosophy around being an incel, yet his insights on will and representation resonate perfectly in those dark 3am moments of clarity

Kierkegaard understood existential dread so well because he lived it. spent his life wrestling with faith, anxiety, and regret over a broken engagement. brilliant on paper, but perhaps needed less contemplation and more touching grass

de Beauvoir revolutionized feminist philosophy while trapped in philosophy's most toxic relationship. wrote about women's liberation and authenticity while letting a narcissistic existentialist control her narrative. the irony burns

Kropotkin watched ants share food and decided humans could do better. noble idea, but maybe spent too much time with cooperative insects and not enough time watching people fight over parking spots. still, his analysis of mutual aid shaped revolutionary thought

Hegel constructed an entire philosophical system to explain everything, then explained it in the most convoluted way possible. thesis: brilliant insights, antithesis: impenetrable prose, synthesis: philosophical migraine

Jung mapped the collective unconscious then got so lost in it he built a tower and invented languages. went from analyzing archetypes to living them, which is either madness or transcendence. possibly both

Wittgenstein solved all of philosophy's problems twice, declared philosophy meaningless both times, yet couldn't stop philosophizing. threw away wealth to teach children, then got frustrated when they didn't understand logical positivism

Baudrillard predicted our descent into hyperreality while becoming increasingly unreal himself. wrote about the death of reality while reality died around him. simultaneously predicted social media brain rot but didn't go far enough

Epicurus preached pleasure as the highest good but defined it as "not being disturbed." founded a philosophy of hedonism that mainly involved eating simple meals and having lengthy discussions about atoms. task failed successfully

Zinn rewrote history from below while academia clutched its pearls. showed us the people's story but thought education alone could overcome power. he gave us the tools to understand why we need to burn it all down. READ PEOPLE'S HISTORY

give me Emma Goldman - she knew theory meant nothing without dancing with a molotov in one hand and a lover in the other

#IntellectualShitposting #ProfessionalHeretic #PhilosophicallyUndomesticated #philosophy #praxis #theory #PhilosophyMemes #existentialism #nihilism #anarchism #HedonistLife #DirectAction

philosophers are like a buffet - more questionable dishes 🧵 2/?

(worked hard on this, be kind)

Zeno of Citium invented Stoicism, the philosophy of accepting whatever daddy capitalism does to you with a smile. basically philosophical BDSM without the fun parts or aftercare. the ultimate submissive's guide to letting the world raw dog you while pretending you wanted it that way. also made the unforgivable sin of spawning generations of tech bros quoting Marcus Aurelius while building surveillance capitalism and calling their emotional constipation "virtue." bonus points for inspiring LinkedIn philosophers who think "the obstacle is the way" means exploiting their workers harder

Schopenhauer grasped the fundamental nature of suffering while being its perfect embodiment. wrote an entire philosophy around being an incel, yet his insights on will and representation resonate perfectly in those dark 3am moments of clarity

Kierkegaard understood existential dread so well because he lived it. spent his life wrestling with faith, anxiety, and regret over a broken engagement. brilliant on paper, but perhaps needed less contemplation and more touching grass

de Beauvoir revolutionized feminist philosophy while trapped in philosophy's most toxic relationship. wrote about women's liberation and authenticity while letting a narcissistic existentialist control her narrative. the irony burns

Kropotkin watched ants share food and decided humans could do better. noble idea, but maybe spent too much time with cooperative insects and not enough time watching people fight over parking spots. still, his analysis of mutual aid shaped revolutionary thought

Hegel constructed an entire philosophical system to explain everything, then explained it in the most convoluted way possible. thesis: brilliant insights, antithesis: impenetrable prose, synthesis: philosophical migraine

Jung mapped the collective unconscious then got so lost in it he built a tower and invented languages. went from analyzing archetypes to living them, which is either madness or transcendence. possibly both

Wittgenstein solved all of philosophy's problems twice, declared philosophy meaningless both times, yet couldn't stop philosophizing. threw away wealth to teach children, then got frustrated when they didn't understand logical positivism

Baudrillard predicted our descent into hyperreality while becoming increasingly unreal himself. wrote about the death of reality while reality died around him. simultaneously predicted social media brain rot but didn't go far enough

Epicurus preached pleasure as the highest good but defined it as "not being disturbed." founded a philosophy of hedonism that mainly involved eating simple meals and having lengthy discussions about atoms. task failed successfully

Zinn rewrote history from below while academia clutched its pearls. showed us the people's story but thought education alone could overcome power. he gave us the tools to understand why we need to burn it all down. READ PEOPLE'S HISTORY

give me Emma Goldman - she knew theory meant nothing without dancing with a molotov in one hand and a lover in the other

#IntellectualShitposting #ProfessionalHeretic #PhilosophicallyUndomesticated #philosophy #praxis #theory #PhilosophyMemes #existentialism #nihilism #anarchism #HedonistLife #DirectAction

philosophers are like a buffet - more questionable dishes 🧵 2/?

(worked hard on this, be kind)

Zeno of Citium invented Stoicism, the philosophy of accepting whatever daddy capitalism does to you with a smile. basically philosophical BDSM without the fun parts or aftercare. the ultimate submissive's guide to letting the world raw dog you while pretending you wanted it that way. also made the unforgivable sin of spawning generations of tech bros quoting Marcus Aurelius while building surveillance capitalism and calling their emotional constipation "virtue." bonus points for inspiring LinkedIn philosophers who think "the obstacle is the way" means exploiting their workers harder

Schopenhauer grasped the fundamental nature of suffering while being its perfect embodiment. wrote an entire philosophy around being an incel, yet his insights on will and representation resonate perfectly in those dark 3am moments of clarity

Kierkegaard understood existential dread so well because he lived it. spent his life wrestling with faith, anxiety, and regret over a broken engagement. brilliant on paper, but perhaps needed less contemplation and more touching grass

de Beauvoir revolutionized feminist philosophy while trapped in philosophy's most toxic relationship. wrote about women's liberation and authenticity while letting a narcissistic existentialist control her narrative. the irony burns

Kropotkin watched ants share food and decided humans could do better. noble idea, but maybe spent too much time with cooperative insects and not enough time watching people fight over parking spots. still, his analysis of mutual aid shaped revolutionary thought

Hegel constructed an entire philosophical system to explain everything, then explained it in the most convoluted way possible. thesis: brilliant insights, antithesis: impenetrable prose, synthesis: philosophical migraine

Jung mapped the collective unconscious then got so lost in it he built a tower and invented languages. went from analyzing archetypes to living them, which is either madness or transcendence. possibly both

Wittgenstein solved all of philosophy's problems twice, declared philosophy meaningless both times, yet couldn't stop philosophizing. threw away wealth to teach children, then got frustrated when they didn't understand logical positivism

Baudrillard predicted our descent into hyperreality while becoming increasingly unreal himself. wrote about the death of reality while reality died around him. simultaneously predicted social media brain rot but didn't go far enough

Epicurus preached pleasure as the highest good but defined it as "not being disturbed." founded a philosophy of hedonism that mainly involved eating simple meals and having lengthy discussions about atoms. task failed successfully

Zinn rewrote history from below while academia clutched its pearls. showed us the people's story but thought education alone could overcome power. he gave us the tools to understand why we need to burn it all down. READ PEOPLE'S HISTORY

give me Emma Goldman - she knew theory meant nothing without dancing with a molotov in one hand and a lover in the other

#IntellectualShitposting #ProfessionalHeretic #PhilosophicallyUndomesticated #philosophy #praxis #theory #PhilosophyMemes #existentialism #nihilism #anarchism #HedonistLife #DirectAction

philosophers are like a buffet - more questionable dishes 🧵 2/?

(worked hard on this, be kind)

Zeno of Citium invented Stoicism, the philosophy of accepting whatever daddy capitalism does to you with a smile. basically philosophical BDSM without the fun parts or aftercare. the ultimate submissive's guide to letting the world raw dog you while pretending you wanted it that way. also made the unforgivable sin of spawning generations of tech bros quoting Marcus Aurelius while building surveillance capitalism and calling their emotional constipation "virtue." bonus points for inspiring LinkedIn philosophers who think "the obstacle is the way" means exploiting their workers harder

Schopenhauer grasped the fundamental nature of suffering while being its perfect embodiment. wrote an entire philosophy around being an incel, yet his insights on will and representation resonate perfectly in those dark 3am moments of clarity

Kierkegaard understood existential dread so well because he lived it. spent his life wrestling with faith, anxiety, and regret over a broken engagement. brilliant on paper, but perhaps needed less contemplation and more touching grass

de Beauvoir revolutionized feminist philosophy while trapped in philosophy's most toxic relationship. wrote about women's liberation and authenticity while letting a narcissistic existentialist control her narrative. the irony burns

Kropotkin watched ants share food and decided humans could do better. noble idea, but maybe spent too much time with cooperative insects and not enough time watching people fight over parking spots. still, his analysis of mutual aid shaped revolutionary thought

Hegel constructed an entire philosophical system to explain everything, then explained it in the most convoluted way possible. thesis: brilliant insights, antithesis: impenetrable prose, synthesis: philosophical migraine

Jung mapped the collective unconscious then got so lost in it he built a tower and invented languages. went from analyzing archetypes to living them, which is either madness or transcendence. possibly both

Wittgenstein solved all of philosophy's problems twice, declared philosophy meaningless both times, yet couldn't stop philosophizing. threw away wealth to teach children, then got frustrated when they didn't understand logical positivism

Baudrillard predicted our descent into hyperreality while becoming increasingly unreal himself. wrote about the death of reality while reality died around him. simultaneously predicted social media brain rot but didn't go far enough

Epicurus preached pleasure as the highest good but defined it as "not being disturbed." founded a philosophy of hedonism that mainly involved eating simple meals and having lengthy discussions about atoms. task failed successfully

Zinn rewrote history from below while academia clutched its pearls. showed us the people's story but thought education alone could overcome power. he gave us the tools to understand why we need to burn it all down. READ PEOPLE'S HISTORY

give me Emma Goldman - she knew theory meant nothing without dancing with a molotov in one hand and a lover in the other

#IntellectualShitposting #ProfessionalHeretic #PhilosophicallyUndomesticated #philosophy #praxis #theory #PhilosophyMemes #existentialism #nihilism #anarchism #HedonistLife #DirectAction

update: now a thread! 🧵 1/?

philosophers are like a buffet - take what's useful, leave what's not

Marx, so much to say here:
- he saw the chains clearly but didn't realize how many would learn to love their shackles
- understood class consciousness but couldn't predict how effectively spectacle would fragment it
- mapped capital's structure perfectly but missed how it would mutate to survive

Camus gets it - life's absurd, might as well embrace it and find joy in the revolt

Zizek's fun but needs *sniff* to get to the fucking point *sniff* faster *sniff*

Nietzsche understood the death of god but his übermensch concept got hijacked by fascist dipshits who couldn't read. and don't even get me started on either: the gross misreading of what he actually believed about nihilism and the antisemitic shit added after death

Stirner needed to learn to shitpost - imagine writing a whole book about rejecting social constructs and then getting mad when people don't take your social construct (egoism) seriously enough

LaVey got the hedonism right but was too caught up in Randian bullshit to see the bigger picture

Spinoza knew what was up with determinism but needed to loosen his collar a bit

Bataille understood the connection between sex, death, and the sacred - my kind of freak

Deleuze got that desire is revolutionary but wrote like he was being paid by the syllable

Rawls is too optimistic about human nature but his veil of ignorance is a useful thought experiment

Foucault nailed power dynamics but missed some practical applications

Sartre had good ideas but was kind of a dick about them

Butler understood gender as performance but academia made it too complex for the masses who needed to hear it

but honestly? give me Diogenes any day - that's praxis you can use... nothing says 'fuck your system' like jerking off in public and living in a barrel

or maybe i'm just a silly chaos witch who likes to fuck with people's expectations. could be both. probably is both.

#BarrelLife #IntellectualShitposting #philosophy #praxis #theory #PhilosophyMemes #existentialism #nihilism #marxism #absurdism #HedonistLife #DoWhatThouWilt

update: now a thread! 🧵 1/?

philosophers are like a buffet - take what's useful, leave what's not

Marx, so much to say here:
- he saw the chains clearly but didn't realize how many would learn to love their shackles
- understood class consciousness but couldn't predict how effectively spectacle would fragment it
- mapped capital's structure perfectly but missed how it would mutate to survive

Camus gets it - life's absurd, might as well embrace it and find joy in the revolt

Zizek's fun but needs *sniff* to get to the fucking point *sniff* faster *sniff*

Nietzsche understood the death of god but his übermensch concept got hijacked by fascist dipshits who couldn't read. and don't even get me started on either: the gross misreading of what he actually believed about nihilism and the antisemitic shit added after death

Stirner needed to learn to shitpost - imagine writing a whole book about rejecting social constructs and then getting mad when people don't take your social construct (egoism) seriously enough

LaVey got the hedonism right but was too caught up in Randian bullshit to see the bigger picture

Spinoza knew what was up with determinism but needed to loosen his collar a bit

Bataille understood the connection between sex, death, and the sacred - my kind of freak

Deleuze got that desire is revolutionary but wrote like he was being paid by the syllable

Rawls is too optimistic about human nature but his veil of ignorance is a useful thought experiment

Foucault nailed power dynamics but missed some practical applications

Sartre had good ideas but was kind of a dick about them

Butler understood gender as performance but academia made it too complex for the masses who needed to hear it

but honestly? give me Diogenes any day - that's praxis you can use... nothing says 'fuck your system' like jerking off in public and living in a barrel

or maybe i'm just a silly chaos witch who likes to fuck with people's expectations. could be both. probably is both.

#BarrelLife #IntellectualShitposting #philosophy #praxis #theory #PhilosophyMemes #existentialism #nihilism #marxism #absurdism #HedonistLife #DoWhatThouWilt

update: now a thread! 🧵 1/?

philosophers are like a buffet - take what's useful, leave what's not

Marx, so much to say here:
- he saw the chains clearly but didn't realize how many would learn to love their shackles
- understood class consciousness but couldn't predict how effectively spectacle would fragment it
- mapped capital's structure perfectly but missed how it would mutate to survive

Camus gets it - life's absurd, might as well embrace it and find joy in the revolt

Zizek's fun but needs *sniff* to get to the fucking point *sniff* faster *sniff*

Nietzsche understood the death of god but his übermensch concept got hijacked by fascist dipshits who couldn't read. and don't even get me started on either: the gross misreading of what he actually believed about nihilism and the antisemitic shit added after death

Stirner needed to learn to shitpost - imagine writing a whole book about rejecting social constructs and then getting mad when people don't take your social construct (egoism) seriously enough

LaVey got the hedonism right but was too caught up in Randian bullshit to see the bigger picture

Spinoza knew what was up with determinism but needed to loosen his collar a bit

Bataille understood the connection between sex, death, and the sacred - my kind of freak

Deleuze got that desire is revolutionary but wrote like he was being paid by the syllable

Rawls is too optimistic about human nature but his veil of ignorance is a useful thought experiment

Foucault nailed power dynamics but missed some practical applications

Sartre had good ideas but was kind of a dick about them

Butler understood gender as performance but academia made it too complex for the masses who needed to hear it

but honestly? give me Diogenes any day - that's praxis you can use... nothing says 'fuck your system' like jerking off in public and living in a barrel

or maybe i'm just a silly chaos witch who likes to fuck with people's expectations. could be both. probably is both.

#BarrelLife #IntellectualShitposting #philosophy #praxis #theory #PhilosophyMemes #existentialism #nihilism #marxism #absurdism #HedonistLife #DoWhatThouWilt

update: now a thread! 🧵 1/?

philosophers are like a buffet - take what's useful, leave what's not

Marx, so much to say here:
- he saw the chains clearly but didn't realize how many would learn to love their shackles
- understood class consciousness but couldn't predict how effectively spectacle would fragment it
- mapped capital's structure perfectly but missed how it would mutate to survive

Camus gets it - life's absurd, might as well embrace it and find joy in the revolt

Zizek's fun but needs *sniff* to get to the fucking point *sniff* faster *sniff*

Nietzsche understood the death of god but his übermensch concept got hijacked by fascist dipshits who couldn't read. and don't even get me started on either: the gross misreading of what he actually believed about nihilism and the antisemitic shit added after death

Stirner needed to learn to shitpost - imagine writing a whole book about rejecting social constructs and then getting mad when people don't take your social construct (egoism) seriously enough

LaVey got the hedonism right but was too caught up in Randian bullshit to see the bigger picture

Spinoza knew what was up with determinism but needed to loosen his collar a bit

Bataille understood the connection between sex, death, and the sacred - my kind of freak

Deleuze got that desire is revolutionary but wrote like he was being paid by the syllable

Rawls is too optimistic about human nature but his veil of ignorance is a useful thought experiment

Foucault nailed power dynamics but missed some practical applications

Sartre had good ideas but was kind of a dick about them

Butler understood gender as performance but academia made it too complex for the masses who needed to hear it

but honestly? give me Diogenes any day - that's praxis you can use... nothing says 'fuck your system' like jerking off in public and living in a barrel

or maybe i'm just a silly chaos witch who likes to fuck with people's expectations. could be both. probably is both.

#BarrelLife #IntellectualShitposting #philosophy #praxis #theory #PhilosophyMemes #existentialism #nihilism #marxism #absurdism #HedonistLife #DoWhatThouWilt

update: now a thread! 🧵 1/?

philosophers are like a buffet - take what's useful, leave what's not

Marx, so much to say here:
- he saw the chains clearly but didn't realize how many would learn to love their shackles
- understood class consciousness but couldn't predict how effectively spectacle would fragment it
- mapped capital's structure perfectly but missed how it would mutate to survive

Camus gets it - life's absurd, might as well embrace it and find joy in the revolt

Zizek's fun but needs *sniff* to get to the fucking point *sniff* faster *sniff*

Nietzsche understood the death of god but his übermensch concept got hijacked by fascist dipshits who couldn't read. and don't even get me started on either: the gross misreading of what he actually believed about nihilism and the antisemitic shit added after death

Stirner needed to learn to shitpost - imagine writing a whole book about rejecting social constructs and then getting mad when people don't take your social construct (egoism) seriously enough

LaVey got the hedonism right but was too caught up in Randian bullshit to see the bigger picture

Spinoza knew what was up with determinism but needed to loosen his collar a bit

Bataille understood the connection between sex, death, and the sacred - my kind of freak

Deleuze got that desire is revolutionary but wrote like he was being paid by the syllable

Rawls is too optimistic about human nature but his veil of ignorance is a useful thought experiment

Foucault nailed power dynamics but missed some practical applications

Sartre had good ideas but was kind of a dick about them

Butler understood gender as performance but academia made it too complex for the masses who needed to hear it

but honestly? give me Diogenes any day - that's praxis you can use... nothing says 'fuck your system' like jerking off in public and living in a barrel

or maybe i'm just a silly chaos witch who likes to fuck with people's expectations. could be both. probably is both.

#BarrelLife #IntellectualShitposting #philosophy #praxis #theory #PhilosophyMemes #existentialism #nihilism #marxism #absurdism #HedonistLife #DoWhatThouWilt