#immigrantlife — Public Fediverse posts
Live and recent posts from across the Fediverse tagged #immigrantlife, aggregated by home.social.
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CW: Rant, Fourth of July as an immigrant to Germany
Today is a really hard day for me and I have lots of really complicated feelings. I'm really not a big fan of my homeland. Like ... at all. All of our delivery prices have shot into the stratosphere because gas is like $10 a gallon in Germany. And I'm living in Germany while my president is falling Hitler's playbook. It's not possible to spin the US as an ally to basically anyone except for Friedrich fucking Merz. You don't really seem to understand that the US has gone from Joke to Joke but also not an ally anymore.
And there's more to it than the sitting president of the US can't even recite the first sentence of the Declaration of Independence much less the contents. And those feelings get even more complicated. My family and I used to go to our local highschool, my highschool, and sit in the fields and listen to the Colorado Symphony and the US Air Force's Borrowed Howitzers while the fireworks shot off noisily into the sky. Until I was good enough at the flute to take part in that symphony and I developed a specific hatred for Tchaikovsky. I'm assured he hated the flute section, those notes are designed for a piccolo NOT a flute and have you ever tried to play an instrument while howitzers fire ordinance near you?!
I digress.
It's a place where the entire city was camped out on picnic blankets and we could be social. I have a complicated relationship with my country. I have a complicated relationship with my family but I still miss that evening. I also miss the more robust fireworks laws because fuck Sylvester. Germans do almost as much damage to Berlin every New Years as the Soviets did.
But how can I miss it? My family was rather abusive and homophobic. They remain Trump voters. My brother disowned me when I came out. How can I miss it when the contents of what the declaration of Independence are against is what the POTUS and his cronies are for. I have never been a patriot but I miss the community....
I'm also integrating heavily into Germany. I don't feel attatchment to my country. Of all the immigrants I know I am the only one that refuses to go back. The exception to the rule of homesickness. I hated July the 4th. A massive willful destructive display of Nationalism and every single year I am reminded how many people will willfully ignore the atrocities of the USA while going to the grocery store or the gas stations in Germany is practically highway robbery thanks in large part to the USA destabilizing the world economy.
But I miss those lazy summer evenings. I miss rebels hanging from statues of the presidents reading the Declaration of Indpendence as if we had just declared war on England with the crowd saying "fuck the redcoats" and "fuck the british" but I hear Germans talking about missing this community as well.
It's like this whole polarization of the world has cost us something precious. Neighborhoods and community. As a queer I know that us receiving community is a mockery of reality but I still remember when the US congress voted on opinions and not party lines. Polarization has gotten worse everywhere. Now we have parties that aren't just seperated from reality, they are seperated from a common morality.
I just feel split. I have been in Germany long enough that people call me a German which I would argue is true but simultaneously not. I watch country where I learned about equality where I internalized the statement "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal" lose it's grasp on democracy and morality and fall into fascism. Watch as traitors are pardoned and protesters and law abiding citizens are jailed for exercising their first ammmendent rights against the president.
I would argue that I am German but my heart pains me watching US news. I feel alone even with my wife sitting right beside me because this is a heartache only a few people can know. To be simultaneously a well integrated German but watch your country of birth die and hurt inside watching it in it's death rattles.
I dunno. I just feel alone. I hate it. We don't deserve a birthday but gods I miss those summer nights. I want community back and these fascist neighborhating shitheads a very unpleasant stay in hell. Regardless of country Braune flasche gehört zu Glass Kontainer nicht das Parliament.
#fourthofjuly #immigrantlife -
CW: Rant, Fourth of July as an immigrant to Germany
Today is a really hard day for me and I have lots of really complicated feelings. I'm really not a big fan of my homeland. Like ... at all. All of our delivery prices have shot into the stratosphere because gas is like $10 a gallon in Germany. And I'm living in Germany while my president is falling Hitler's playbook. It's not possible to spin the US as an ally to basically anyone except for Friedrich fucking Merz. You don't really seem to understand that the US has gone from Joke to Joke but also not an ally anymore.
And there's more to it than the sitting president of the US can't even recite the first sentence of the Declaration of Independence much less the contents. And those feelings get even more complicated. My family and I used to go to our local highschool, my highschool, and sit in the fields and listen to the Colorado Symphony and the US Air Force's Borrowed Howitzers while the fireworks shot off noisily into the sky. Until I was good enough at the flute to take part in that symphony and I developed a specific hatred for Tchaikovsky. I'm assured he hated the flute section, those notes are designed for a piccolo NOT a flute and have you ever tried to play an instrument while howitzers fire ordinance near you?!
I digress.
It's a place where the entire city was camped out on picnic blankets and we could be social. I have a complicated relationship with my country. I have a complicated relationship with my family but I still miss that evening. I also miss the more robust fireworks laws because fuck Sylvester. Germans do almost as much damage to Berlin every New Years as the Soviets did.
But how can I miss it? My family was rather abusive and homophobic. They remain Trump voters. My brother disowned me when I came out. How can I miss it when the contents of what the declaration of Independence are against is what the POTUS and his cronies are for. I have never been a patriot but I miss the community....
I'm also integrating heavily into Germany. I don't feel attatchment to my country. Of all the immigrants I know I am the only one that refuses to go back. The exception to the rule of homesickness. I hated July the 4th. A massive willful destructive display of Nationalism and every single year I am reminded how many people will willfully ignore the atrocities of the USA while going to the grocery store or the gas stations in Germany is practically highway robbery thanks in large part to the USA destabilizing the world economy.
But I miss those lazy summer evenings. I miss rebels hanging from statues of the presidents reading the Declaration of Indpendence as if we had just declared war on England with the crowd saying "fuck the redcoats" and "fuck the british" but I hear Germans talking about missing this community as well.
It's like this whole polarization of the world has cost us something precious. Neighborhoods and community. As a queer I know that us receiving community is a mockery of reality but I still remember when the US congress voted on opinions and not party lines. Polarization has gotten worse everywhere. Now we have parties that aren't just seperated from reality, they are seperated from a common morality.
I just feel split. I have been in Germany long enough that people call me a German which I would argue is true but simultaneously not. I watch country where I learned about equality where I internalized the statement "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal" lose it's grasp on democracy and morality and fall into fascism. Watch as traitors are pardoned and protesters and law abiding citizens are jailed for exercising their first ammmendent rights against the president.
I would argue that I am German but my heart pains me watching US news. I feel alone even with my wife sitting right beside me because this is a heartache only a few people can know. To be simultaneously a well integrated German but watch your country of birth die and hurt inside watching it in it's death rattles.
I dunno. I just feel alone. I hate it. We don't deserve a birthday but gods I miss those summer nights. I want community back and these fascist neighborhating shitheads a very unpleasant stay in hell. Regardless of country Braune flasche gehört zu Glass Kontainer nicht das Parliament.
#fourthofjuly #immigrantlife -
Well I feel accomplished. A little background. We have a chemical trader near us. Yesterday they had a leak and burned someone with Sulfuric acid. Shut the road down. Today someone burned themselves with Hydrogen Peroxide. So they closed the road again. I was driving my merry way to work and I see the police are stopping people.
I am a transgender immigrant. There's a small possibility this does not go well. This will be a test of immigration and integration. I also notice they are checking the id of the person in front of me and I just go "oh fuck". There is no Tally. There is no backup. Just me and my german and my integration.
I roll my window down and the lady strolls up
"Sind sie anwohner?" ( do you live here )
"Nö, es ist mir kein problem, wenn ich umkehren muss" (No and it's not a problem when I need to turn around )
"Ja, müssen sie, es gibt hier ein Unfall" (Yeah you must. There is an accident )
"Jawohl, dankeschön" (Yes sir ma'am, thank you. Jawohl is a very specific yes that means I acknowledge your order and authority. It's not a simple yes )
And I turn around and drive away. No break in conversation. No odd looks at my low voice or accent. No confusion. She understood every word. No hesitation. No where are you from. No nothing. Just a police officer talking in the formalese of German public officials and respect all around. I feel extraordinarly accomplished.
This is actually a big test. You can get fined for not talking to a police officer properly and there were zero issues at all. Not even a second glance or a bitte where I needed to work on my pronunciation.
#immigrantlife #improvement -
Well I feel accomplished. A little background. We have a chemical trader near us. Yesterday they had a leak and burned someone with Sulfuric acid. Shut the road down. Today someone burned themselves with Hydrogen Peroxide. So they closed the road again. I was driving my merry way to work and I see the police are stopping people.
I am a transgender immigrant. There's a small possibility this does not go well. This will be a test of immigration and integration. I also notice they are checking the id of the person in front of me and I just go "oh fuck". There is no Tally. There is no backup. Just me and my german and my integration.
I roll my window down and the lady strolls up
"Sind sie anwohner?" ( do you live here )
"Nö, es ist mir kein problem, wenn ich umkehren muss" (No and it's not a problem when I need to turn around )
"Ja, müssen sie, es gibt hier ein Unfall" (Yeah you must. There is an accident )
"Jawohl, dankeschön" (Yes sir ma'am, thank you. Jawohl is a very specific yes that means I acknowledge your order and authority. It's not a simple yes )
And I turn around and drive away. No break in conversation. No odd looks at my low voice or accent. No confusion. She understood every word. No hesitation. No where are you from. No nothing. Just a police officer talking in the formalese of German public officials and respect all around. I feel extraordinarly accomplished.
This is actually a big test. You can get fined for not talking to a police officer properly and there were zero issues at all. Not even a second glance or a bitte where I needed to work on my pronunciation.
#immigrantlife #improvement -
One of the funniest interactions with a non-native English speaker was me typing out "Guarantee" but simultaneously saying "Goo-ahr-AN-tee" to aid my spelling in such an awful word and my wife goes
"Oh my GOD, English speakers do it too!"
Me: "What sound out our words so we can spell? Of COURSE! I say Feb RU ar ee every time I have to spell the month. Or Wed nes day"
Wife: '"Even english speakers need aid with their gobbledygook language!"
#immigrantlife #englishisdoghshit -
One of the funniest interactions with a non-native English speaker was me typing out "Guarantee" but simultaneously saying "Goo-ahr-AN-tee" to aid my spelling in such an awful word and my wife goes
"Oh my GOD, English speakers do it too!"
Me: "What sound out our words so we can spell? Of COURSE! I say Feb RU ar ee every time I have to spell the month. Or Wed nes day"
Wife: '"Even english speakers need aid with their gobbledygook language!"
#immigrantlife #englishisdoghshit -
So Tally and I are officially, legally married as of today on the nicest day of the year 6.9. I have referred to the actual process getting married like getting the soyuz and apollo to dock on multiple occasions. We have been trying to accomplish this for 4 years. Back and forth with Amt then back an forth with America then translate then the next Amt repeats the process. It's required a great deal of back and forth in multiple languages and bargaining our blood and souls to death and perjury if we lie with multiple bureacrats.
Honestly I wouldn't trade this time for the world. I recently heard marriage described as not falling in love but that life hands you a shit sandwich and this is the person you are going halfsies with. I've been through German courses, experienced the financial crunch of two wars, lost a grandfather and for Tally it was much the same. We learned how to handle both loss and joy in this time. Stress and relaxation and now I am confident that we can grow together instead of growing apart.
So @thatfrisiangirlish , Endlich und Endlos wieder, oder?
#transjoy #lgbt #brides #immigrantlife -
So Tally and I are officially, legally married as of today on the nicest day of the year 6.9. I have referred to the actual process getting married like getting the soyuz and apollo to dock on multiple occasions. We have been trying to accomplish this for 4 years. Back and forth with Amt then back an forth with America then translate then the next Amt repeats the process. It's required a great deal of back and forth in multiple languages and bargaining our blood and souls to death and perjury if we lie with multiple bureacrats.
Honestly I wouldn't trade this time for the world. I recently heard marriage described as not falling in love but that life hands you a shit sandwich and this is the person you are going halfsies with. I've been through German courses, experienced the financial crunch of two wars, lost a grandfather and for Tally it was much the same. We learned how to handle both loss and joy in this time. Stress and relaxation and now I am confident that we can grow together instead of growing apart.
So @thatfrisiangirlish , Endlich und Endlos wieder, oder?
#transjoy #lgbt #brides #immigrantlife -
CW: Dentist, Addiction, Needles, Healthcare Rant
I just went to a German Dentist yesterday and I have some thoughts.
On tooth repair in general I had a crown put in before leaving the USA. It cost 4000 USD uninsured. Nobody really talks about the aggravation of a dead tooth in your mouth. I'm happy it didn't get pulled but it is something I regret more than anything HRT has ever given me. HRT has been a consistent comfort. This crown has been a constant mild annoyance and it is installed correctly.
People complain about the innefficiency of the German healthcare system but the Dentist was horrified at my reaction to possibly needing another root canal or a filling that cost €85. To me this is nothing. When a person from the US says "my healthcare system sucks" or "my country is hella racist"it means something VASTLY different from when a European says it. I'm not saying don't fix it, or that the German system isn't broken, Just please stop conflating and equivocating. We use the same words but using the same words does NOT mean the same severity. Yes work on on it but for the love of god stop saying we are the "same".
For two I appreciate the German efficiency. I get my blood drawn here and it's "zack zack, erledigt, schönen Tag noch" in the US I feel like I have given my life story to almost every stranger and certainly to every nurse that has ever drawn my blood. One of the Dentist techs at this praxis is a server with me on the weekends. We have known eachother for years. No conversation. No explaining my life story to a dentist with drills in my goddamn mouth. "zack zack, erledigt, schönen Tag noch" and I was gone.
I love German efficiency. I tell people that small talk is very normal in the USA and I explain it thusly, you meet a random passerby on the street and they"ll say "Oh my GAWD, you breathe air too, we're so similar, we should get married". That is obviously hyperbole but I tire from making too deep small talk from everyone especially when you have a needle in my arm or dentist drills in my mouth. Let my private life remain private, please.
Lastly there is relief. I was an alcoholic. Before I had a few teeth pulled due to weird dental problems in my family but before that, no cavities, my teeth were the envy of dentists everywhere, but addiction does things and it's not just meth that'll cost you your teeth. Be careful. I'm very happy my teeth are finally being repaired and I'm five years sober now. My recommendation tho is avoid addiction whenever and however possible. I never met my grandfather and a whole lot of people I care about almost never met me and now I also have to pay for my mistake out of my own pocket and it is NOT cheap even with universal healthcare.
#immigrantlife #healthcare -
CW: Dentist, Addiction, Needles, Healthcare Rant
I just went to a German Dentist yesterday and I have some thoughts.
On tooth repair in general I had a crown put in before leaving the USA. It cost 4000 USD uninsured. Nobody really talks about the aggravation of a dead tooth in your mouth. I'm happy it didn't get pulled but it is something I regret more than anything HRT has ever given me. HRT has been a consistent comfort. This crown has been a constant mild annoyance and it is installed correctly.
People complain about the innefficiency of the German healthcare system but the Dentist was horrified at my reaction to possibly needing another root canal or a filling that cost €85. To me this is nothing. When a person from the US says "my healthcare system sucks" or "my country is hella racist"it means something VASTLY different from when a European says it. I'm not saying don't fix it, or that the German system isn't broken, Just please stop conflating and equivocating. We use the same words but using the same words does NOT mean the same severity. Yes work on on it but for the love of god stop saying we are the "same".
For two I appreciate the German efficiency. I get my blood drawn here and it's "zack zack, erledigt, schönen Tag noch" in the US I feel like I have given my life story to almost every stranger and certainly to every nurse that has ever drawn my blood. One of the Dentist techs at this praxis is a server with me on the weekends. We have known eachother for years. No conversation. No explaining my life story to a dentist with drills in my goddamn mouth. "zack zack, erledigt, schönen Tag noch" and I was gone.
I love German efficiency. I tell people that small talk is very normal in the USA and I explain it thusly, you meet a random passerby on the street and they"ll say "Oh my GAWD, you breathe air too, we're so similar, we should get married". That is obviously hyperbole but I tire from making too deep small talk from everyone especially when you have a needle in my arm or dentist drills in my mouth. Let my private life remain private, please.
Lastly there is relief. I was an alcoholic. Before I had a few teeth pulled due to weird dental problems in my family but before that, no cavities, my teeth were the envy of dentists everywhere, but addiction does things and it's not just meth that'll cost you your teeth. Be careful. I'm very happy my teeth are finally being repaired and I'm five years sober now. My recommendation tho is avoid addiction whenever and however possible. I never met my grandfather and a whole lot of people I care about almost never met me and now I also have to pay for my mistake out of my own pocket and it is NOT cheap even with universal healthcare.
#immigrantlife #healthcare -
Something happened today that I never really expected but I'm still largely disappointed. We are shopping at our local corner store and we come around the corner to find an altercation between the German speaking teller and a woman screaming and cursing in the Queen's very own English.
The woman is upset as she cannot find the bag and when she does refuses to pay as she has already paid for a different bag. The teller is upset as she is doing her very best to communicate in a language she has very little experience in, has had to describe where the bags are and that she must pay as this one is 50 cents more.
The upset customer is cursing at her, insulting her and not speaking a word of German. The Teller is frustrated and trying to maintain decorum and stand her ground that this bag is 50 cents more and that she must pay. I come across this scene and decide it is time to intervene.
I explain in Hollywood/Newscaster US English, yes that is the US accent I have. The one you see on every news station, hear in every movie. That one. That she has told you this one costs 50 cents more and you must pay. I can see a thousand feelings on this womans face. Yes I understood every insult. Yes I understood every word. Yes, you are being the exact entitled anglophone you have heard about. I see her reel up, then deflate.
This is an interaction between the most british british english I've ever heard and the most vanilla US english. Hyper privilige meets hyper privilege and I really think this is what privilege should be used for, combatting people that are using theirs incorrectly. I thanked the Teller in the most German way possilbe and she was very grateful in her own German silent way.
The moral of the story really is don't come to a country and scream at people in your own language. This town is backwater and I have not noticed a great deal of English fluency. Being louder and angrier won't make you more understood, it will, however, get you on youtube and tiktok. I don't know why this lady was here. Maybe a recent move but it doesn't excuse the antics, doesn't excuse an all too common abuse of English speaking assholedom. Also, second moral of the story, use your privilege to challenge the overprivileged, don't abuse it. Privilege is only bad when used improperly.
#privilege #immigrantlife -
Something happened today that I never really expected but I'm still largely disappointed. We are shopping at our local corner store and we come around the corner to find an altercation between the German speaking teller and a woman screaming and cursing in the Queen's very own English.
The woman is upset as she cannot find the bag and when she does refuses to pay as she has already paid for a different bag. The teller is upset as she is doing her very best to communicate in a language she has very little experience in, has had to describe where the bags are and that she must pay as this one is 50 cents more.
The upset customer is cursing at her, insulting her and not speaking a word of German. The Teller is frustrated and trying to maintain decorum and stand her ground that this bag is 50 cents more and that she must pay. I come across this scene and decide it is time to intervene.
I explain in Hollywood/Newscaster US English, yes that is the US accent I have. The one you see on every news station, hear in every movie. That one. That she has told you this one costs 50 cents more and you must pay. I can see a thousand feelings on this womans face. Yes I understood every insult. Yes I understood every word. Yes, you are being the exact entitled anglophone you have heard about. I see her reel up, then deflate.
This is an interaction between the most british british english I've ever heard and the most vanilla US english. Hyper privilige meets hyper privilege and I really think this is what privilege should be used for, combatting people that are using theirs incorrectly. I thanked the Teller in the most German way possilbe and she was very grateful in her own German silent way.
The moral of the story really is don't come to a country and scream at people in your own language. This town is backwater and I have not noticed a great deal of English fluency. Being louder and angrier won't make you more understood, it will, however, get you on youtube and tiktok. I don't know why this lady was here. Maybe a recent move but it doesn't excuse the antics, doesn't excuse an all too common abuse of English speaking assholedom. Also, second moral of the story, use your privilege to challenge the overprivileged, don't abuse it. Privilege is only bad when used improperly.
#privilege #immigrantlife -
I was reading a business sign the other day. Something like Trützschler and I thought back to when I first got here and turned to my wifish and said "a Long time ago when I first got here that would be an appalling amount of consonants, now it's just a rather short name" Ae turned to me and said, "German isn't even that bad, you should look into Czech"
So today we looked into Czech and a lot of slavic languages and I gotta say German with it's 4 cases and moderate consonants is a lot better than a lot of those languages with 6 cases and entire senteces without a single vowel. I have given up on correctly pronouncing croatian. That language is inpenetrable to me X.X. I speak a smattering because it's spoken so often at work but locotive/ablative scares me.
#immigrantlife -
I was reading a business sign the other day. Something like Trützschler and I thought back to when I first got here and turned to my wifish and said "a Long time ago when I first got here that would be an appalling amount of consonants, now it's just a rather short name" Ae turned to me and said, "German isn't even that bad, you should look into Czech"
So today we looked into Czech and a lot of slavic languages and I gotta say German with it's 4 cases and moderate consonants is a lot better than a lot of those languages with 6 cases and entire senteces without a single vowel. I have given up on correctly pronouncing croatian. That language is inpenetrable to me X.X. I speak a smattering because it's spoken so often at work but locotive/ablative scares me.
#immigrantlife -
I was talking to my ( German ) boss once about the American (maybe anglophone, need more information there ) tendency to not tell the truth if the truth is negative. In this case it was about not telling a person if you like them as a friend or not because hurting someone's feelings is considered rude. Germans do not care. They believe the truth will set you free, even if it feels cruel.
She asked me "How could you know if anyone ever truly likes you?"
I thought back to my fears of rejection, that everyone would walk out because nobody actually likes me and hasn't had the decency to tell me. This has happened multiple times in my life. I had a girlfriend that cheated on me and broke up with me on my birthday because saying she wanted to end it and didn't love me anymore is anethema to an anglophone.
I replied to my boss a la Invicible meme
"That's the neat part, you don't"
#immigrantlife -
I was talking to my ( German ) boss once about the American (maybe anglophone, need more information there ) tendency to not tell the truth if the truth is negative. In this case it was about not telling a person if you like them as a friend or not because hurting someone's feelings is considered rude. Germans do not care. They believe the truth will set you free, even if it feels cruel.
She asked me "How could you know if anyone ever truly likes you?"
I thought back to my fears of rejection, that everyone would walk out because nobody actually likes me and hasn't had the decency to tell me. This has happened multiple times in my life. I had a girlfriend that cheated on me and broke up with me on my birthday because saying she wanted to end it and didn't love me anymore is anethema to an anglophone.
I replied to my boss a la Invicible meme
"That's the neat part, you don't"
#immigrantlife -
Everyone is always telling me that I am privileged to be married to A German but I don't feel privileged. I feel scarred. Like I ask "Wer zur Hölle ist Hase" and she shows me an entire article on Victor Hase and why he doesn't know anything. Or I ask how can "Ja Ja" be offensive and she pulls out her copy of Werner Beinhart. Now I know it means "Leck mich am Arsch" (en: lick my ass). Or she started singing die Toten Hosen in the shower and I bring this earworm to work and everybody at the bar is singing "UND DAZU EISGEKUHLTER BOMMERLUNDER"
I feel like something broke inside me when I saw Es Gibt Reis for the first time. And I still don't get why the Butler isn't just honest in Dinner For One so he isn't drunk off his ass in five minutes. Everyone is convinced that Germans are cold and quiet and stoic. No their culture has scarred them so deeply that nothing phases them.
#immigrantlife -
Everyone is always telling me that I am privileged to be married to A German but I don't feel privileged. I feel scarred. Like I ask "Wer zur Hölle ist Hase" and she shows me an entire article on Victor Hase and why he doesn't know anything. Or I ask how can "Ja Ja" be offensive and she pulls out her copy of Werner Beinhart. Now I know it means "Leck mich am Arsch" (en: lick my ass). Or she started singing die Toten Hosen in the shower and I bring this earworm to work and everybody at the bar is singing "UND DAZU EISGEKUHLTER BOMMERLUNDER"
I feel like something broke inside me when I saw Es Gibt Reis for the first time. And I still don't get why the Butler isn't just honest in Dinner For One so he isn't drunk off his ass in five minutes. Everyone is convinced that Germans are cold and quiet and stoic. No their culture has scarred them so deeply that nothing phases them.
#immigrantlife -
CW: Long post, "Immigrant is Racist"
So my understanding of "Immigrants is just code for racism" has moved from a logical understanding to an empathic one over time. Like I am not a German yet. I'm in the process of citizenship but it's long, hard and expensive. But generally speaking, my coworkers call me an "Honorary German". You can likely see this from my profile but I'm hella white, got blonde hair and blue eyes. VERY white. I make Mayo look tan.
I had a coworker. Lived his whole life in Germany. Is a German. Speaks perfect German ( naturally ). He also is just white. But his father is Turkish. People call him Turkish and me an honorary German. Like ... could y'all be more obvious? I had a coworker even ask him when Ramadan was and he was like "TF should I know? I'm an atheist." The assumption goes, is Turkish, therefore Muslim, therefore knows when Ramadan is.
Then another chef was teasing me. Called me an "Auslander". Nothing was meant by it. I am one for heavens sake. It was just playful trashtalk between immigrants. But my very German coworker looked at me with pitying eyes of "We both know what you actually are".
The whiteness of my skin paired with some personality markers and education in a federalist democratic country and strong integration makes the immediate assumption "German". I had a german official bend over backwards, make several calls, and get me in with the best German school with the highest ranked teacher to join a class where there were brown and black people that had waited for over 10 years for this course. I got in in 3 months out of Ausländeramt.
The thing is I have never heard anyone say it. Nobody says "Immigrant means brown, black or yellow" it just is ubiquitous. Immigrant literally is just "I'm racist but need a code word so you don't hear the hard R". Hating immigrants is literally just being racist with a dogwhistle inbetween. The vast majority of AfD, and CDU/CSU voters I have met think I am "The Exception". I am not. I'm just white, and y'all are just hella racist.
Again, I knew this before. I voted and acted accordingly. Now that understanding has just moved from logical understanding to empathic understanding. I know I am an exception as a white educated westerner from another federalist democracy with a strong work culture. People are willing to look past certain labels if you "pass" well enough for them.
PS Also this isn't just about Europe. I've heard the same stuff out of Japan and the USA. This isn't trash talking Europe. It's trash talking Xenophobia and I don't think I have ever heard of a country that was an exception to what I am talking about.
#immigrantlife -
CW: Long post, "Immigrant is Racist"
So my understanding of "Immigrants is just code for racism" has moved from a logical understanding to an empathic one over time. Like I am not a German yet. I'm in the process of citizenship but it's long, hard and expensive. But generally speaking, my coworkers call me an "Honorary German". You can likely see this from my profile but I'm hella white, got blonde hair and blue eyes. VERY white. I make Mayo look tan.
I had a coworker. Lived his whole life in Germany. Is a German. Speaks perfect German ( naturally ). He also is just white. But his father is Turkish. People call him Turkish and me an honorary German. Like ... could y'all be more obvious? I had a coworker even ask him when Ramadan was and he was like "TF should I know? I'm an atheist." The assumption goes, is Turkish, therefore Muslim, therefore knows when Ramadan is.
Then another chef was teasing me. Called me an "Auslander". Nothing was meant by it. I am one for heavens sake. It was just playful trashtalk between immigrants. But my very German coworker looked at me with pitying eyes of "We both know what you actually are".
The whiteness of my skin paired with some personality markers and education in a federalist democratic country and strong integration makes the immediate assumption "German". I had a german official bend over backwards, make several calls, and get me in with the best German school with the highest ranked teacher to join a class where there were brown and black people that had waited for over 10 years for this course. I got in in 3 months out of Ausländeramt.
The thing is I have never heard anyone say it. Nobody says "Immigrant means brown, black or yellow" it just is ubiquitous. Immigrant literally is just "I'm racist but need a code word so you don't hear the hard R". Hating immigrants is literally just being racist with a dogwhistle inbetween. The vast majority of AfD, and CDU/CSU voters I have met think I am "The Exception". I am not. I'm just white, and y'all are just hella racist.
Again, I knew this before. I voted and acted accordingly. Now that understanding has just moved from logical understanding to empathic understanding. I know I am an exception as a white educated westerner from another federalist democracy with a strong work culture. People are willing to look past certain labels if you "pass" well enough for them.
PS Also this isn't just about Europe. I've heard the same stuff out of Japan and the USA. This isn't trash talking Europe. It's trash talking Xenophobia and I don't think I have ever heard of a country that was an exception to what I am talking about.
#immigrantlife -
"I don't think I could..."
In 2015 I took a trip to France, England and Scotland. I could barely parse Scottish and I found French opaque. I convinced myself I could never speak another language. Now in 2026 I have been told my German is "Praktisch Muttersprachig" (Practically mothertongue) and "Umgangssprachlich" (Colloquial). Well on my path to citizenship.
I was divorced in 2016 and was convinced I'd be alone and was hella straight. Turns out I am hella bi, am now engaged to a person with almost the same gender as myself. I was also convinced of my jealousy, turns out I am polyam.
I worked in a few kitchens to get by on bills when I was younger. I was convinced I could never be like the chefs I watched. I struggled with dishes for chrissakes. Now I have been a head chef and a sous chef INCLUDING in another country in another language with a different culinary style.
I was convinced I should get on disability for my OCD. I did years of therapy and now it's mostly under control.
I'm not saying you can do anything you can set your mind to. I certainly can't. I'm more saying that a lot of the limits we place on ourselves are self or society imposed and are just made up. Just peer pressure we impose on ourselves like how human jaws could easily bite off a finger but our brains will not let us or a mother could lift a car to save a child. We impose limits on ourselves as a way of saying we are safe here when often we are not. We are stuck in the same rut we always were and convinced we could never change.
Don't be afraid to be that crazy hippie commie gay aunt. Be that gay metal butterfly you were meant to be! I am the cool gay aunt now and you can be too.
#immigrantlife #lgbt #iconoclast -
"I don't think I could..."
In 2015 I took a trip to France, England and Scotland. I could barely parse Scottish and I found French opaque. I convinced myself I could never speak another language. Now in 2026 I have been told my German is "Praktisch Muttersprachig" (Practically mothertongue) and "Umgangssprachlich" (Colloquial). Well on my path to citizenship.
I was divorced in 2016 and was convinced I'd be alone and was hella straight. Turns out I am hella bi, am now engaged to a person with almost the same gender as myself. I was also convinced of my jealousy, turns out I am polyam.
I worked in a few kitchens to get by on bills when I was younger. I was convinced I could never be like the chefs I watched. I struggled with dishes for chrissakes. Now I have been a head chef and a sous chef INCLUDING in another country in another language with a different culinary style.
I was convinced I should get on disability for my OCD. I did years of therapy and now it's mostly under control.
I'm not saying you can do anything you can set your mind to. I certainly can't. I'm more saying that a lot of the limits we place on ourselves are self or society imposed and are just made up. Just peer pressure we impose on ourselves like how human jaws could easily bite off a finger but our brains will not let us or a mother could lift a car to save a child. We impose limits on ourselves as a way of saying we are safe here when often we are not. We are stuck in the same rut we always were and convinced we could never change.
Don't be afraid to be that crazy hippie commie gay aunt. Be that gay metal butterfly you were meant to be! I am the cool gay aunt now and you can be too.
#immigrantlife #lgbt #iconoclast -
So we were having a shower conversation that involved State name changes of English Speakers of German states and German Speakers of American states. We call Bayern, Bavaria. They call California, Kalifornien.
Me: Why would you add an E N there. There's no EN there it's CalifornIA not KaliforniEN.
Her: Grinning Mischieviously We wanted to make that bitch German.
Me: A californian trying to become a German, absent mindedly toweling myself off not catching the joke Jawohl
She actually laughed at the American she's helping make a German replying Germanly.
#showerconversation #german #english #immigrantlife -
So we were having a shower conversation that involved State name changes of English Speakers of German states and German Speakers of American states. We call Bayern, Bavaria. They call California, Kalifornien.
Me: Why would you add an E N there. There's no EN there it's CalifornIA not KaliforniEN.
Her: Grinning Mischieviously We wanted to make that bitch German.
Me: A californian trying to become a German, absent mindedly toweling myself off not catching the joke Jawohl
She actually laughed at the American she's helping make a German replying Germanly.
#showerconversation #german #english #immigrantlife -
Kazakh producer Inna Baitukenova on building a blogging and beauty business in the US while navigating life and creativity as an immigrant https://ow.ly/fpCe50YbWBp #Kazakhstan #Diaspora #Blogging #Entrepreneurship #WomenInBusiness #CentralAsia #ImmigrantLife #DiasporaVoices
Life After Relocation: Kazakhs... -
Kazakh producer Inna Baitukenova on building a blogging and beauty business in the US while navigating life and creativity as an immigrant https://ow.ly/fpCe50YbWBp #Kazakhstan #Diaspora #Blogging #Entrepreneurship #WomenInBusiness #CentralAsia #ImmigrantLife #DiasporaVoices
Life After Relocation: Kazakhs... -
CW: USPol, MH+, Thoughts on Homesickness
I feel ... odd. I had a coworker ask me yesterday about my feelings about the USA. He's from Bangladesh and was curious as to where I would retire. I said I would not be moving back to the USA. I prefer Germany and have plans to remain here for the rest of my days. I hear so much about home sickeness but I really don't ever feel it.
I never felt at home in the USA. I had this consistent feeling of other-ness. My general mentality about reality and achievement is that Perfection is always the goal, it's unnachievable but it's the goal. And when a goal is not achieved correction is welcomed and inevitable. You might have understood that what I am describing is impossible. It is a key symptom of OCD and a very strong cultural positive in Germany. In the US this mentality this devotion this .... Pflichtbewusstsein ... it drove people away. In Germany I am just one of the Germans.
Both Autism and OCD in Germany are underdiagnosed because a great deal of both of these illnesses overlap with strong culture cues of Germany itself. In general the German culture lets my OCD relax like never before. It allows me to unwind.
I could also never be as critical of the USA as I am allowed to be in Germany. In fact I can be AS critical of the USA as I am of Germany and Germans still see it as good German complaining. It's normal. American propaganda made every friend, every aquaintance, every coworker balk at how critical I was of my country. Germans welcome it. ESPECIALLY about their own Government. To complain about Germany is GERMAN.
A great deal of the people I have met from every continent want to go home. They don't want to be here. They want to be in Tunisia or Croatia or Bangladesh or whatever so long as it's not here. In my great luck and providence I moved to a country where it felt like moving home instead of moving away from it.
I guess that makes me a very strong future citizen but also a really shit immigrant. People expect me to miss my country. That I have been gone too long. "When are you going home?" they ask but my boss that knows my feelings on the subject springs into the conversation as to make things less uncomfortable and looks at me in pride and admiration to say I am home. And I do really feel that way. I don't feel like a second left-hand here. I feel right.
My wife even calls me a trans european. Assigned the wrong citizenship at birth. I dunno what to say really except I get along much better with Germans than I do with expats or other immigrants and the Germans are infinitely more welcoming of me than my immigrant peers. Guess just a few more years and I'll have it anyway. I'm just feeling a little weird because I'm told I should feel homesick and the only thing I ever missed from the USA was Taco Bell.
#immigrantlife #mentalhealth -
CW: USPol, MH+, Thoughts on Homesickness
I feel ... odd. I had a coworker ask me yesterday about my feelings about the USA. He's from Bangladesh and was curious as to where I would retire. I said I would not be moving back to the USA. I prefer Germany and have plans to remain here for the rest of my days. I hear so much about home sickeness but I really don't ever feel it.
I never felt at home in the USA. I had this consistent feeling of other-ness. My general mentality about reality and achievement is that Perfection is always the goal, it's unnachievable but it's the goal. And when a goal is not achieved correction is welcomed and inevitable. You might have understood that what I am describing is impossible. It is a key symptom of OCD and a very strong cultural positive in Germany. In the US this mentality this devotion this .... Pflichtbewusstsein ... it drove people away. In Germany I am just one of the Germans.
Both Autism and OCD in Germany are underdiagnosed because a great deal of both of these illnesses overlap with strong culture cues of Germany itself. In general the German culture lets my OCD relax like never before. It allows me to unwind.
I could also never be as critical of the USA as I am allowed to be in Germany. In fact I can be AS critical of the USA as I am of Germany and Germans still see it as good German complaining. It's normal. American propaganda made every friend, every aquaintance, every coworker balk at how critical I was of my country. Germans welcome it. ESPECIALLY about their own Government. To complain about Germany is GERMAN.
A great deal of the people I have met from every continent want to go home. They don't want to be here. They want to be in Tunisia or Croatia or Bangladesh or whatever so long as it's not here. In my great luck and providence I moved to a country where it felt like moving home instead of moving away from it.
I guess that makes me a very strong future citizen but also a really shit immigrant. People expect me to miss my country. That I have been gone too long. "When are you going home?" they ask but my boss that knows my feelings on the subject springs into the conversation as to make things less uncomfortable and looks at me in pride and admiration to say I am home. And I do really feel that way. I don't feel like a second left-hand here. I feel right.
My wife even calls me a trans european. Assigned the wrong citizenship at birth. I dunno what to say really except I get along much better with Germans than I do with expats or other immigrants and the Germans are infinitely more welcoming of me than my immigrant peers. Guess just a few more years and I'll have it anyway. I'm just feeling a little weird because I'm told I should feel homesick and the only thing I ever missed from the USA was Taco Bell.
#immigrantlife #mentalhealth -
CW: USPol, German Income tax to an US citizen
I get this question an awful lot and I see it asked of other immigrants to Germany an awful lot. "But, Taylor, you can earn more in the USA" or "How do you feel about German income tax". I think this question only addresses half of the facts so I'll address this topic.
In the USA at my last job as a very experienced cook (ie I got higher rates of pay than a lower level/no maneagement experience cook) I got about 16 USD/hour + tip pool. This translates to about 2800 a month. -12% income tax. I have been working at my current job for three years and have gotten a yearly raise. Hourly wage doesn't apply as I am salaried. I make something like 2800 a month + tip pool minus 30% income tax.
I have a partner who doesn't work that I didn't have in the states. In the USA I was barely staying above water and I was consistently stressed about homelessness. In Germany I have thousands in savings and that's after buying new beds, a kitchen and spending thousands on vacation every year.
The idea that you can earn more in the USA is at best a half truth and at worst a myth. It only factors in earnings and not cost of living and in the USA that is dramatically higher. I understand that Germany isn't doing well. I understand corruption is higher and that workers rights got gutted. I will push for change when I can actually vote in a few years. HOWEVER the German situation at 3 to 5 times more income tax than an American's is a dramatically better quality of life with much more robust savings.
Your income tax might be low in the USA but rent, food, and lack of access to healthcare, guaranteed vacation, sick days, maternal AND paternal leave costs a great deal. Gas is much cheaper but you get nickeled and dimed for every service. America is not a land of milk and honey as Western propaganda likes to say but rather Coca Cola an subsidized Corn syrup.
"You earn more" is a malicious mistruth to keep afloat one of the more problematic nations on earth. Generally seeing other countries say we need to be more like the USA isn't pushing for more freedom or wealth but more access to discrimination and blatant corruption.
I have never understood this distaste of taxes and government services. Do you not use the roads? The healthcare? The infrastructure and rights guaranteed by your constitution. Those taxes go somewhere. They pay for things. The first time I was in Germany I had to ask my wife what those city janitors were doing because I never knew that it could be a government job to do city cleaning and basic maitennance. It was an idea alien to me.
Don't ask me why I would leave the USA to come to Germany, ask yourself why you would believe malicious propaganda about the USA. Swallow it like so much cola that put your own companies out of business. The USA rots more than just your teeth, it rots your soul. That's why I am here. That's why I am willing to pay "Exorbitant Taxes" and earn "less". It's not less. You have been lied to by wealthy elite that want to rob you blind.
#immigrantlife #uspol #depol -
CW: USPol, German Income tax to an US citizen
I get this question an awful lot and I see it asked of other immigrants to Germany an awful lot. "But, Taylor, you can earn more in the USA" or "How do you feel about German income tax". I think this question only addresses half of the facts so I'll address this topic.
In the USA at my last job as a very experienced cook (ie I got higher rates of pay than a lower level/no maneagement experience cook) I got about 16 USD/hour + tip pool. This translates to about 2800 a month. -12% income tax. I have been working at my current job for three years and have gotten a yearly raise. Hourly wage doesn't apply as I am salaried. I make something like 2800 a month + tip pool minus 30% income tax.
I have a partner who doesn't work that I didn't have in the states. In the USA I was barely staying above water and I was consistently stressed about homelessness. In Germany I have thousands in savings and that's after buying new beds, a kitchen and spending thousands on vacation every year.
The idea that you can earn more in the USA is at best a half truth and at worst a myth. It only factors in earnings and not cost of living and in the USA that is dramatically higher. I understand that Germany isn't doing well. I understand corruption is higher and that workers rights got gutted. I will push for change when I can actually vote in a few years. HOWEVER the German situation at 3 to 5 times more income tax than an American's is a dramatically better quality of life with much more robust savings.
Your income tax might be low in the USA but rent, food, and lack of access to healthcare, guaranteed vacation, sick days, maternal AND paternal leave costs a great deal. Gas is much cheaper but you get nickeled and dimed for every service. America is not a land of milk and honey as Western propaganda likes to say but rather Coca Cola an subsidized Corn syrup.
"You earn more" is a malicious mistruth to keep afloat one of the more problematic nations on earth. Generally seeing other countries say we need to be more like the USA isn't pushing for more freedom or wealth but more access to discrimination and blatant corruption.
I have never understood this distaste of taxes and government services. Do you not use the roads? The healthcare? The infrastructure and rights guaranteed by your constitution. Those taxes go somewhere. They pay for things. The first time I was in Germany I had to ask my wife what those city janitors were doing because I never knew that it could be a government job to do city cleaning and basic maitennance. It was an idea alien to me.
Don't ask me why I would leave the USA to come to Germany, ask yourself why you would believe malicious propaganda about the USA. Swallow it like so much cola that put your own companies out of business. The USA rots more than just your teeth, it rots your soul. That's why I am here. That's why I am willing to pay "Exorbitant Taxes" and earn "less". It's not less. You have been lied to by wealthy elite that want to rob you blind.
#immigrantlife #uspol #depol -
I really think that translation is really over applied and really wrong in a lot of applications. For example I do not believe that Christmas and Weihnachten are the same thing. Advent is a huge part of tradition here and, yeah, I've seen it in the states but not to this extent.
Do you know what a Stollen is, Adventskranz, Krampus? Who tf the Christkind is? Not to mention when gifts are opened is different. What people do on the day is different. Plus there is a competition of three different Christmas traditions in Germany. These words are not one to one. Like most words because a language is not just another language hiding under a pronunciation trenchcoat.
What the hell does Doch mean in English? Uno reverse card is the closest thing I can think of. Womit and Worüber translate to the same word in English but mean drastically different things in German. Translation isn't "oh this means this" it is "this is our best approximation".
Translation is very important but I really feel the process is misunderstood. Like other languages are just a shift cipher from your mothertongue and it's really really not. I just feel in many cases translation is a disservice to culture, history and tradition. Valid and important but rather misunderstood, ham-fisted and abused.
Tis the season for such an example.
#immigrantlife #language -
I really think that translation is really over applied and really wrong in a lot of applications. For example I do not believe that Christmas and Weihnachten are the same thing. Advent is a huge part of tradition here and, yeah, I've seen it in the states but not to this extent.
Do you know what a Stollen is, Adventskranz, Krampus? Who tf the Christkind is? Not to mention when gifts are opened is different. What people do on the day is different. Plus there is a competition of three different Christmas traditions in Germany. These words are not one to one. Like most words because a language is not just another language hiding under a pronunciation trenchcoat.
What the hell does Doch mean in English? Uno reverse card is the closest thing I can think of. Womit and Worüber translate to the same word in English but mean drastically different things in German. Translation isn't "oh this means this" it is "this is our best approximation".
Translation is very important but I really feel the process is misunderstood. Like other languages are just a shift cipher from your mothertongue and it's really really not. I just feel in many cases translation is a disservice to culture, history and tradition. Valid and important but rather misunderstood, ham-fisted and abused.
Tis the season for such an example.
#immigrantlife #language -
At some point the differences in words can only really be explained with he language itself and not a translation. Case in point I was doing a Rezeptur, basically pricing out a recipe for cost-benefit analysis. Chef stuff. One line said Zubereitungszeit and the other Vorbereitungszeit. Both Zubereitung and Vorbereitung translate directly to Preparation in English. It requires the knowledge of German itself to differentiate.
Zu means, for all intents and purposes, to. Bereit is ready ergo To Ready means the time to bring it to readiness. Vor means generally for or before and so it translates to the time required ahead of time to prepare. So Cook and Prep time respectively.
Also there is a severe difference between ne Schale and ne Schüssel and the difference cannot be said in English. It must be learned in German. Whoever said you can only think in a language past a certain point was lying. I think in German all the time and it takes time and energy for me to switch back to English.
I have enough work as a gay kitchen chef. This is like the dark souls of being gay TT_TT.
#immigrantlife #german -
At some point the differences in words can only really be explained with he language itself and not a translation. Case in point I was doing a Rezeptur, basically pricing out a recipe for cost-benefit analysis. Chef stuff. One line said Zubereitungszeit and the other Vorbereitungszeit. Both Zubereitung and Vorbereitung translate directly to Preparation in English. It requires the knowledge of German itself to differentiate.
Zu means, for all intents and purposes, to. Bereit is ready ergo To Ready means the time to bring it to readiness. Vor means generally for or before and so it translates to the time required ahead of time to prepare. So Cook and Prep time respectively.
Also there is a severe difference between ne Schale and ne Schüssel and the difference cannot be said in English. It must be learned in German. Whoever said you can only think in a language past a certain point was lying. I think in German all the time and it takes time and energy for me to switch back to English.
I have enough work as a gay kitchen chef. This is like the dark souls of being gay TT_TT.
#immigrantlife #german -
We were watching Das Boot and there is a character in season 2 with not abysmal German but it sounds idk filthy. So I asked @thatfrisiangirlish what the hell is going on. The sentences and German are fluent but something is wrong here.
"His German is heavily impacted by English"
As in he's a native German speaker that speaks a lot of English. So I asked a follow up question
"That's what my mom means about me speaking differently?"
"That German growl is unmistakable in your English, yes. But you are coming from the opposite direction, so it's impacted differently."
I didn't even know/Notice it could have such an effect! Dangit(?) I guess that's what I get for trying for citizenship?
Jawohl, es ist, wie es ist ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
#immigrantlife #dasboot -
We were watching Das Boot and there is a character in season 2 with not abysmal German but it sounds idk filthy. So I asked @thatfrisiangirlish what the hell is going on. The sentences and German are fluent but something is wrong here.
"His German is heavily impacted by English"
As in he's a native German speaker that speaks a lot of English. So I asked a follow up question
"That's what my mom means about me speaking differently?"
"That German growl is unmistakable in your English, yes. But you are coming from the opposite direction, so it's impacted differently."
I didn't even know/Notice it could have such an effect! Dangit(?) I guess that's what I get for trying for citizenship?
Jawohl, es ist, wie es ist ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
#immigrantlife #dasboot -
German Fails: So today I was working with my boss and her daughter wanted a wrap. I told her "Das ist nicht wie man einen Wrap rollt" (That isn't how a wrap is rolled ) so she replied ( basically) "Bet" followed by "Du machst heute das Abendessen, und du kannst mir zeigen, wie das geht." (You make dinner and you can show me how that goes )
So I did. I made something texmex. Hackfleish, blistered Paprika, Lime, Corn etc etc. And I was describing the Process of the recipe and I did not know the word for Blistering in German. I know a blister is eine Blase. So in my naivete I thought that must mean "Die Paprika wird geblasen" Unfortunately this doesn't mean blistered it means to blow in a rather sexual fashion.
She laughed. I laughed. I learned something about German. We all had fun and I did not deep throat a Paprika. I have no shame. I still would have done it.
#immigrantlife #german #cheflife -
German Fails: So today I was working with my boss and her daughter wanted a wrap. I told her "Das ist nicht wie man einen Wrap rollt" (That isn't how a wrap is rolled ) so she replied ( basically) "Bet" followed by "Du machst heute das Abendessen, und du kannst mir zeigen, wie das geht." (You make dinner and you can show me how that goes )
So I did. I made something texmex. Hackfleish, blistered Paprika, Lime, Corn etc etc. And I was describing the Process of the recipe and I did not know the word for Blistering in German. I know a blister is eine Blase. So in my naivete I thought that must mean "Die Paprika wird geblasen" Unfortunately this doesn't mean blistered it means to blow in a rather sexual fashion.
She laughed. I laughed. I learned something about German. We all had fun and I did not deep throat a Paprika. I have no shame. I still would have done it.
#immigrantlife #german #cheflife -
Zwei Atome treffen sich auf der Straße.
Sagt eins zum anderen, "Ich habe einen Electron verloren"
"Hast du wirklich?" fragt das zweite.
"Ja ich bin positiv"
Ich übersetze Witze aus dem Englischen, wenn ich kann. Ich brauche die Übung und ihr braucht den Humor.
#silly #immigrantlife -
Zwei Atome treffen sich auf der Straße.
Sagt eins zum anderen, "Ich habe einen Electron verloren"
"Hast du wirklich?" fragt das zweite.
"Ja ich bin positiv"
Ich übersetze Witze aus dem Englischen, wenn ich kann. Ich brauche die Übung und ihr braucht den Humor.
#silly #immigrantlife -
Wayyy back in the late 2010s I started my journey of learning German. I told my then girlfriend now wife,
"Guter Nacht"
Which is nightmarish and wrong and I know that now. Night is feminine in German so it would be "Gute Nacht" but my wife explained that there is more to this than meets the eye. In English we just say goodnight all willy nilly but in German this implies closeness. German has a weird basis of "Sag nicht Auf Wiedersehen" not because we don't say goodbye but because that's hellishly formal.
There is a ranked formality of closeness that you must win with time and application. My boss and a Peer have been saying "Schönen Feierabend" or "Bis nächstes mal" or "Bis Morgen" but recently that has swapped. I am known. I am loved. The bosses daughters will hover around me in the kitchen because I am found family, largely. Both my boss and Peer started saying "Gute Nacht" when I leave work recently.
It only took 3 whole years, and constant application and speaking a language that is .... difficult ... to get to this point. Honestly I'm honored but it would seem like such a small thing in languages, like English, that don't have really culturally strong familiarty/formality. I'm honored but it's difficult to describe to people that just speak English 🤔🤔🤔
#immigrantlife #german #languagelearning -
Wayyy back in the late 2010s I started my journey of learning German. I told my then girlfriend now wife,
"Guter Nacht"
Which is nightmarish and wrong and I know that now. Night is feminine in German so it would be "Gute Nacht" but my wife explained that there is more to this than meets the eye. In English we just say goodnight all willy nilly but in German this implies closeness. German has a weird basis of "Sag nicht Auf Wiedersehen" not because we don't say goodbye but because that's hellishly formal.
There is a ranked formality of closeness that you must win with time and application. My boss and a Peer have been saying "Schönen Feierabend" or "Bis nächstes mal" or "Bis Morgen" but recently that has swapped. I am known. I am loved. The bosses daughters will hover around me in the kitchen because I am found family, largely. Both my boss and Peer started saying "Gute Nacht" when I leave work recently.
It only took 3 whole years, and constant application and speaking a language that is .... difficult ... to get to this point. Honestly I'm honored but it would seem like such a small thing in languages, like English, that don't have really culturally strong familiarty/formality. I'm honored but it's difficult to describe to people that just speak English 🤔🤔🤔
#immigrantlife #german #languagelearning -
I feel I am in a bit of an odd place. My German over vacation has shot upwards. I read a lot. Had to interact a lot. @thatfrisiangirlish has even started trusting me enough to take the lead when ae is overtaxed/overstressed/nonverbal.
But it's shooting up quickly. Words slot in the right places. Declension just happens. All while vocab skyrockets. Like heard on the street someone saying "Er hat Arthritis, Sieht nicht gut, Hört nicht" and I was honestly unsure if she was talking about some guy or a dog but I did pick up on the conversation.
Or explained to the nice shopworker about 14ers enough to convert nonsense Imperial units into logical Antifreedom units of about 4000 meters or so. Made people laugh. Was approached by strangers. He was honestly surprised by my German competence/that I wasn't German.
It's just that it's different from the last few times where learning was taxing. Now it's effortless and it reminds me of my learning competence just by reading slightly too advanced books in 5th and 6th grade that leapt my english through the stratosphere. Learning via context is a powerful thing.
#immigrantlife #learninglanguage #positive -
I feel I am in a bit of an odd place. My German over vacation has shot upwards. I read a lot. Had to interact a lot. @thatfrisiangirlish has even started trusting me enough to take the lead when ae is overtaxed/overstressed/nonverbal.
But it's shooting up quickly. Words slot in the right places. Declension just happens. All while vocab skyrockets. Like heard on the street someone saying "Er hat Arthritis, Sieht nicht gut, Hört nicht" and I was honestly unsure if she was talking about some guy or a dog but I did pick up on the conversation.
Or explained to the nice shopworker about 14ers enough to convert nonsense Imperial units into logical Antifreedom units of about 4000 meters or so. Made people laugh. Was approached by strangers. He was honestly surprised by my German competence/that I wasn't German.
It's just that it's different from the last few times where learning was taxing. Now it's effortless and it reminds me of my learning competence just by reading slightly too advanced books in 5th and 6th grade that leapt my english through the stratosphere. Learning via context is a powerful thing.
#immigrantlife #learninglanguage #positive -
CW: Long Post, Immigrant thoughts
So I have some immigrant thoughts, I feel? I feel those are the right words. I was reading through a post from a gay man from a mediteranean background where he wasn't allowed to be gay, so he moved to Germany. A place where things are better.
He said, and I agree, that things are better here but he struggled to make connection that was not at face value. I have heard this a great deal from other more southern/social cultures. I would say the Italian influence on the US populace makes us one of those social cultures.
In every restaurant where I have worked in the USA, I was the favorite cook in under a week. Sometimes less than 24 hours. In Germany that is really not the case, however, Germans being cold is not really my observation at this point.
What I find is that Germans are private and you kinda have to stick around to receive any warmth at all. We are very familiar with our local Gas station. We are there quite frequently. They are extremely warm and are prone to rounding change in our favor. Everyone at my job was standoffish(?) for like 2 years with me. It was an odd experience my first two restaurants in Germany. Now the boss' daughters will hang around in my presence. I am considered part of the adopted family and a long term employee. I have been told I am such a structural piece as to practically be a physical pillar of the building.
I don't feel Germans are really cold. I feel they just take a bit of time to warm up and when they have the relationships are much deeper than the very surface level relationships I had at restaurants where I worked 2+ years. Yes, it requires German competance, yes it requires learning the culture and the rules etc etc but I really don't think it's abnormal to need to integrate.
A lot of the people I have heard say that Germans are cold and cruel are whiter than milk. This isn't a racism thing. It's a Northern culture thing that not only Germany is accused of. I've heard this of Norwegians and other Scandinavian countries as well. I do appreciate that emotional labor does feel like it's rewarded and that the crescendo is ongoing or be the favorite cook in 24 hours for that never to really build.
A lot of people on that reddit post with the Gay man said much the same. If you are feeling alone in a Northern European country I would argue just give it some time. Those cold stones take some time to heat, but eventually you'll get to bask in the warmth.
#immigrantlife #germany -
CW: Long Post, Immigrant thoughts
So I have some immigrant thoughts, I feel? I feel those are the right words. I was reading through a post from a gay man from a mediteranean background where he wasn't allowed to be gay, so he moved to Germany. A place where things are better.
He said, and I agree, that things are better here but he struggled to make connection that was not at face value. I have heard this a great deal from other more southern/social cultures. I would say the Italian influence on the US populace makes us one of those social cultures.
In every restaurant where I have worked in the USA, I was the favorite cook in under a week. Sometimes less than 24 hours. In Germany that is really not the case, however, Germans being cold is not really my observation at this point.
What I find is that Germans are private and you kinda have to stick around to receive any warmth at all. We are very familiar with our local Gas station. We are there quite frequently. They are extremely warm and are prone to rounding change in our favor. Everyone at my job was standoffish(?) for like 2 years with me. It was an odd experience my first two restaurants in Germany. Now the boss' daughters will hang around in my presence. I am considered part of the adopted family and a long term employee. I have been told I am such a structural piece as to practically be a physical pillar of the building.
I don't feel Germans are really cold. I feel they just take a bit of time to warm up and when they have the relationships are much deeper than the very surface level relationships I had at restaurants where I worked 2+ years. Yes, it requires German competance, yes it requires learning the culture and the rules etc etc but I really don't think it's abnormal to need to integrate.
A lot of the people I have heard say that Germans are cold and cruel are whiter than milk. This isn't a racism thing. It's a Northern culture thing that not only Germany is accused of. I've heard this of Norwegians and other Scandinavian countries as well. I do appreciate that emotional labor does feel like it's rewarded and that the crescendo is ongoing or be the favorite cook in 24 hours for that never to really build.
A lot of people on that reddit post with the Gay man said much the same. If you are feeling alone in a Northern European country I would argue just give it some time. Those cold stones take some time to heat, but eventually you'll get to bask in the warmth.
#immigrantlife #germany -
I'm honestly a little taken aback. I just realized some important immigrant questions I answered without even asking myself what's important.
Those questions?
1) Do you retain the pronunciation of your name? For a lot of people this is very important familialy and culturally.
I just introduce myself as Frau Vefer because the letters in my name are pronounced very differently in German. I don't give a shit about my family and my culture is well ... not my favorite. So I just gave up almost instantly. W -> V, V->F because I just can't be forced to care about the pronunciation of Wever in two languages.
2) Do you maintain your accent or lose it?
My goal is citizenship and I really don't care for my country so to me it's really irrelevant. Proud? To be an American? Sorry I've been anti-american since I realized I could be post 9/11. I could push back but I'll just take the corrections and try to master that gods damn ö.
3) Do you maintain your mother tongue?
Honestly I am losing it a little over time. It bugs me slightly but it's something I learned might be a thing. Especially between sister languages. For example Dutch, English and German are good at corrupting eachother. I communicate mostly in German. Having the Lingua Franca as a back up is nice but it's mostly useless where I live. I'll maintain it but I don't care much if I lose some talent.
These are individually important questions for immigrants. I just seemed to have answered them without asking myself. Not exactly bothered, but just odd I never asked myself.
#immigrantlife #Germany -
I'm honestly a little taken aback. I just realized some important immigrant questions I answered without even asking myself what's important.
Those questions?
1) Do you retain the pronunciation of your name? For a lot of people this is very important familialy and culturally.
I just introduce myself as Frau Vefer because the letters in my name are pronounced very differently in German. I don't give a shit about my family and my culture is well ... not my favorite. So I just gave up almost instantly. W -> V, V->F because I just can't be forced to care about the pronunciation of Wever in two languages.
2) Do you maintain your accent or lose it?
My goal is citizenship and I really don't care for my country so to me it's really irrelevant. Proud? To be an American? Sorry I've been anti-american since I realized I could be post 9/11. I could push back but I'll just take the corrections and try to master that gods damn ö.
3) Do you maintain your mother tongue?
Honestly I am losing it a little over time. It bugs me slightly but it's something I learned might be a thing. Especially between sister languages. For example Dutch, English and German are good at corrupting eachother. I communicate mostly in German. Having the Lingua Franca as a back up is nice but it's mostly useless where I live. I'll maintain it but I don't care much if I lose some talent.
These are individually important questions for immigrants. I just seemed to have answered them without asking myself. Not exactly bothered, but just odd I never asked myself.
#immigrantlife #Germany -
I read this article a long time ago about some woman from South East Asia somewhere that lost the ability to really speak with her mother as she had lost the ability to speak in her mother tongue.
I always wondered how that felt. Then I called my mother for mother's day and I had to look at my German girlfriend because I could not think of the Enlgish word for Lebensblut. I didn't really think about it. I speak German more often now than I speak English. I'm out of practice.
Then my coworker said "It must be hard to lose your mothertongue" and it struck me, because I did not think of it in that context. I dunno how I feel but I have met plenty of people that speak related languages that moved that lost their faculty in their mothertongue. German, Dutch and English are related languages. Getting better at one generally means the others get a little worse.
I still don't know how I feel but @thatfrisiangirlish said "Hah one day I'll have the better english" to which I replied "And someday I'll have the better german". The competition is AFOOT!
#immigrantlife #lifechanges -
I read this article a long time ago about some woman from South East Asia somewhere that lost the ability to really speak with her mother as she had lost the ability to speak in her mother tongue.
I always wondered how that felt. Then I called my mother for mother's day and I had to look at my German girlfriend because I could not think of the Enlgish word for Lebensblut. I didn't really think about it. I speak German more often now than I speak English. I'm out of practice.
Then my coworker said "It must be hard to lose your mothertongue" and it struck me, because I did not think of it in that context. I dunno how I feel but I have met plenty of people that speak related languages that moved that lost their faculty in their mothertongue. German, Dutch and English are related languages. Getting better at one generally means the others get a little worse.
I still don't know how I feel but @thatfrisiangirlish said "Hah one day I'll have the better english" to which I replied "And someday I'll have the better german". The competition is AFOOT!
#immigrantlife #lifechanges