#immigrantlife — Public Fediverse posts on home.social

Golden Retriever GF @[email protected] · 2026-05-12 · 22:37 UTC

Something happened today that I never really expected but I'm still largely disappointed. We are shopping at our local corner store and we come around the corner to find an altercation between the German speaking teller and a woman screaming and cursing in the Queen's very own English.

The woman is upset as she cannot find the bag and when she does refuses to pay as she has already paid for a different bag. The teller is upset as she is doing her very best to communicate in a language she has very little experience in, has had to describe where the bags are and that she must pay as this one is 50 cents more.

The upset customer is cursing at her, insulting her and not speaking a word of German. The Teller is frustrated and trying to maintain decorum and stand her ground that this bag is 50 cents more and that she must pay. I come across this scene and decide it is time to intervene.

I explain in Hollywood/Newscaster US English, yes that is the US accent I have. The one you see on every news station, hear in every movie. That one. That she has told you this one costs 50 cents more and you must pay. I can see a thousand feelings on this womans face. Yes I understood every insult. Yes I understood every word. Yes, you are being the exact entitled anglophone you have heard about. I see her reel up, then deflate.

This is an interaction between the most british british english I've ever heard and the most vanilla US english. Hyper privilige meets hyper privilege and I really think this is what privilege should be used for, combatting people that are using theirs incorrectly. I thanked the Teller in the most German way possilbe and she was very grateful in her own German silent way.

The moral of the story really is don't come to a country and scream at people in your own language. This town is backwater and I have not noticed a great deal of English fluency. Being louder and angrier won't make you more understood, it will, however, get you on youtube and tiktok. I don't know why this lady was here. Maybe a recent move but it doesn't excuse the antics, doesn't excuse an all too common abuse of English speaking assholedom. Also, second moral of the story, use your privilege to challenge the overprivileged, don't abuse it. Privilege is only bad when used improperly.

#privilege #immigrantlife

#privilege #immigrantlife

Golden Retriever GF @[email protected] · 2026-03-11 · 00:13 UTC

"I don't think I could..."

In 2015 I took a trip to France, England and Scotland. I could barely parse Scottish and I found French opaque. I convinced myself I could never speak another language. Now in 2026 I have been told my German is "Praktisch Muttersprachig" (Practically mothertongue) and "Umgangssprachlich" (Colloquial). Well on my path to citizenship.

I was divorced in 2016 and was convinced I'd be alone and was hella straight. Turns out I am hella bi, am now engaged to a person with almost the same gender as myself. I was also convinced of my jealousy, turns out I am polyam.

I worked in a few kitchens to get by on bills when I was younger. I was convinced I could never be like the chefs I watched. I struggled with dishes for chrissakes. Now I have been a head chef and a sous chef INCLUDING in another country in another language with a different culinary style.

I was convinced I should get on disability for my OCD. I did years of therapy and now it's mostly under control.

I'm not saying you can do anything you can set your mind to. I certainly can't. I'm more saying that a lot of the limits we place on ourselves are self or society imposed and are just made up. Just peer pressure we impose on ourselves like how human jaws could easily bite off a finger but our brains will not let us or a mother could lift a car to save a child. We impose limits on ourselves as a way of saying we are safe here when often we are not. We are stuck in the same rut we always were and convinced we could never change.

Don't be afraid to be that crazy hippie commie gay aunt. Be that gay metal butterfly you were meant to be! I am the cool gay aunt now and you can be too.

#immigrantlife #lgbt #iconoclast

#immigrantlife #lgbt #iconoclast

Golden Retriever GF @[email protected] · 2026-03-11 · 00:13 UTC

"I don't think I could..."

In 2015 I took a trip to France, England and Scotland. I could barely parse Scottish and I found French opaque. I convinced myself I could never speak another language. Now in 2026 I have been told my German is "Praktisch Muttersprachig" (Practically mothertongue) and "Umgangssprachlich" (Colloquial). Well on my path to citizenship.

I was divorced in 2016 and was convinced I'd be alone and was hella straight. Turns out I am hella bi, am now engaged to a person with almost the same gender as myself. I was also convinced of my jealousy, turns out I am polyam.

I worked in a few kitchens to get by on bills when I was younger. I was convinced I could never be like the chefs I watched. I struggled with dishes for chrissakes. Now I have been a head chef and a sous chef INCLUDING in another country in another language with a different culinary style.

I was convinced I should get on disability for my OCD. I did years of therapy and now it's mostly under control.

I'm not saying you can do anything you can set your mind to. I certainly can't. I'm more saying that a lot of the limits we place on ourselves are self or society imposed and are just made up. Just peer pressure we impose on ourselves like how human jaws could easily bite off a finger but our brains will not let us or a mother could lift a car to save a child. We impose limits on ourselves as a way of saying we are safe here when often we are not. We are stuck in the same rut we always were and convinced we could never change.

Don't be afraid to be that crazy hippie commie gay aunt. Be that gay metal butterfly you were meant to be! I am the cool gay aunt now and you can be too.

#immigrantlife #lgbt #iconoclast

#immigrantlife #lgbt #iconoclast

Golden Retriever GF @[email protected] · 2026-03-11 · 00:13 UTC

"I don't think I could..."

In 2015 I took a trip to France, England and Scotland. I could barely parse Scottish and I found French opaque. I convinced myself I could never speak another language. Now in 2026 I have been told my German is "Praktisch Muttersprachig" (Practically mothertongue) and "Umgangssprachlich" (Colloquial). Well on my path to citizenship.

I was divorced in 2016 and was convinced I'd be alone and was hella straight. Turns out I am hella bi, am now engaged to a person with almost the same gender as myself. I was also convinced of my jealousy, turns out I am polyam.

I worked in a few kitchens to get by on bills when I was younger. I was convinced I could never be like the chefs I watched. I struggled with dishes for chrissakes. Now I have been a head chef and a sous chef INCLUDING in another country in another language with a different culinary style.

I was convinced I should get on disability for my OCD. I did years of therapy and now it's mostly under control.

I'm not saying you can do anything you can set your mind to. I certainly can't. I'm more saying that a lot of the limits we place on ourselves are self or society imposed and are just made up. Just peer pressure we impose on ourselves like how human jaws could easily bite off a finger but our brains will not let us or a mother could lift a car to save a child. We impose limits on ourselves as a way of saying we are safe here when often we are not. We are stuck in the same rut we always were and convinced we could never change.

Don't be afraid to be that crazy hippie commie gay aunt. Be that gay metal butterfly you were meant to be! I am the cool gay aunt now and you can be too.

#immigrantlife #lgbt #iconoclast

#immigrantlife #lgbt #iconoclast

Golden Retriever GF @[email protected] · 2026-03-11 · 00:13 UTC

"I don't think I could..."

In 2015 I took a trip to France, England and Scotland. I could barely parse Scottish and I found French opaque. I convinced myself I could never speak another language. Now in 2026 I have been told my German is "Praktisch Muttersprachig" (Practically mothertongue) and "Umgangssprachlich" (Colloquial). Well on my path to citizenship.

I was divorced in 2016 and was convinced I'd be alone and was hella straight. Turns out I am hella bi, am now engaged to a person with almost the same gender as myself. I was also convinced of my jealousy, turns out I am polyam.

I worked in a few kitchens to get by on bills when I was younger. I was convinced I could never be like the chefs I watched. I struggled with dishes for chrissakes. Now I have been a head chef and a sous chef INCLUDING in another country in another language with a different culinary style.

I was convinced I should get on disability for my OCD. I did years of therapy and now it's mostly under control.

I'm not saying you can do anything you can set your mind to. I certainly can't. I'm more saying that a lot of the limits we place on ourselves are self or society imposed and are just made up. Just peer pressure we impose on ourselves like how human jaws could easily bite off a finger but our brains will not let us or a mother could lift a car to save a child. We impose limits on ourselves as a way of saying we are safe here when often we are not. We are stuck in the same rut we always were and convinced we could never change.

Don't be afraid to be that crazy hippie commie gay aunt. Be that gay metal butterfly you were meant to be! I am the cool gay aunt now and you can be too.

#immigrantlife #lgbt #iconoclast

#iconoclast #lgbt #immigrantlife

Golden Retriever GF @[email protected] · 2026-03-11 · 00:13 UTC

"I don't think I could..."

In 2015 I took a trip to France, England and Scotland. I could barely parse Scottish and I found French opaque. I convinced myself I could never speak another language. Now in 2026 I have been told my German is "Praktisch Muttersprachig" (Practically mothertongue) and "Umgangssprachlich" (Colloquial). Well on my path to citizenship.

I was divorced in 2016 and was convinced I'd be alone and was hella straight. Turns out I am hella bi, am now engaged to a person with almost the same gender as myself. I was also convinced of my jealousy, turns out I am polyam.

I worked in a few kitchens to get by on bills when I was younger. I was convinced I could never be like the chefs I watched. I struggled with dishes for chrissakes. Now I have been a head chef and a sous chef INCLUDING in another country in another language with a different culinary style.

I was convinced I should get on disability for my OCD. I did years of therapy and now it's mostly under control.

I'm not saying you can do anything you can set your mind to. I certainly can't. I'm more saying that a lot of the limits we place on ourselves are self or society imposed and are just made up. Just peer pressure we impose on ourselves like how human jaws could easily bite off a finger but our brains will not let us or a mother could lift a car to save a child. We impose limits on ourselves as a way of saying we are safe here when often we are not. We are stuck in the same rut we always were and convinced we could never change.

Don't be afraid to be that crazy hippie commie gay aunt. Be that gay metal butterfly you were meant to be! I am the cool gay aunt now and you can be too.

#immigrantlife #lgbt #iconoclast

#immigrantlife #lgbt #iconoclast

Golden Retriever GF @[email protected] · 2025-10-23 · 23:59 UTC

We were watching Das Boot and there is a character in season 2 with not abysmal German but it sounds idk filthy. So I asked @thatfrisiangirlish what the hell is going on. The sentences and German are fluent but something is wrong here.

"His German is heavily impacted by English"

As in he's a native German speaker that speaks a lot of English. So I asked a follow up question

"That's what my mom means about me speaking differently?"

"That German growl is unmistakable in your English, yes. But you are coming from the opposite direction, so it's impacted differently."

I didn't even know/Notice it could have such an effect! Dangit(?) I guess that's what I get for trying for citizenship?

Jawohl, es ist, wie es ist ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#immigrantlife #dasboot

#immigrantlife #dasboot

Golden Retriever GF @[email protected] · 2025-10-22 · 23:49 UTC

German Fails: So today I was working with my boss and her daughter wanted a wrap. I told her "Das ist nicht wie man einen Wrap rollt" (That isn't how a wrap is rolled ) so she replied ( basically) "Bet" followed by "Du machst heute das Abendessen, und du kannst mir zeigen, wie das geht." (You make dinner and you can show me how that goes )

So I did. I made something texmex. Hackfleish, blistered Paprika, Lime, Corn etc etc. And I was describing the Process of the recipe and I did not know the word for Blistering in German. I know a blister is eine Blase. So in my naivete I thought that must mean "Die Paprika wird geblasen" Unfortunately this doesn't mean blistered it means to blow in a rather sexual fashion.

She laughed. I laughed. I learned something about German. We all had fun and I did not deep throat a Paprika. I have no shame. I still would have done it.

#immigrantlife #german #cheflife

#immigrantlife #german #cheflife

Golden Retriever GF @[email protected] · 2025-09-02 · 19:42 UTC

I feel I am in a bit of an odd place. My German over vacation has shot upwards. I read a lot. Had to interact a lot. @thatfrisiangirlish has even started trusting me enough to take the lead when ae is overtaxed/overstressed/nonverbal.

But it's shooting up quickly. Words slot in the right places. Declension just happens. All while vocab skyrockets. Like heard on the street someone saying "Er hat Arthritis, Sieht nicht gut, Hört nicht" and I was honestly unsure if she was talking about some guy or a dog but I did pick up on the conversation.

Or explained to the nice shopworker about 14ers enough to convert nonsense Imperial units into logical Antifreedom units of about 4000 meters or so. Made people laugh. Was approached by strangers. He was honestly surprised by my German competence/that I wasn't German.

It's just that it's different from the last few times where learning was taxing. Now it's effortless and it reminds me of my learning competence just by reading slightly too advanced books in 5th and 6th grade that leapt my english through the stratosphere. Learning via context is a powerful thing.

#immigrantlife #learninglanguage #positive

#immigrantlife #learninglanguage #positive

Golden Retriever GF @[email protected] · 2025-05-15 · 09:46 UTC

I read this article a long time ago about some woman from South East Asia somewhere that lost the ability to really speak with her mother as she had lost the ability to speak in her mother tongue.

I always wondered how that felt. Then I called my mother for mother's day and I had to look at my German girlfriend because I could not think of the Enlgish word for Lebensblut. I didn't really think about it. I speak German more often now than I speak English. I'm out of practice.

Then my coworker said "It must be hard to lose your mothertongue" and it struck me, because I did not think of it in that context. I dunno how I feel but I have met plenty of people that speak related languages that moved that lost their faculty in their mothertongue. German, Dutch and English are related languages. Getting better at one generally means the others get a little worse.

I still don't know how I feel but @thatfrisiangirlish said "Hah one day I'll have the better english" to which I replied "And someday I'll have the better german". The competition is AFOOT!

#immigrantlife #lifechanges

#immigrantlife #lifechanges

Golden Retriever GF @[email protected] · 2024-12-04 · 01:36 UTC

CW: Rant about movie Inglorious Basterds

So we recently received the movie Inglorious Basterds as a christmas gift and now that I have lived in europe/germany for a little longer I have a little more input on why this is the one of the best movies ever made.

A great deal of the actors that spoke German were German or Austrian. So you get a great deal of differences in Accents. Michael Fassbender is from Baden-Würtemberg, for example so he WAS from a city from the bottom of the Alps. And if you don't speak German you wouldn't notice him specifically over pronouncing what makes his accent unique in the bar scene. It's why he sounds strange, he literally is from a tiny town as he describes.

There's also easter eggs for German movies like Der Schue des Manitu when he references he is the chief of the Apache in the bar scene. Or how he references the accents of Till Schweiger and the other actor was a direct refernce to where ther actual German accents of the actors are from. There was so much more to that bar scene than the way he holds up three fingers not being German.

Everything from the humanification of Nazis while also demonstrating they were upholding a problematic regime, reperesnting Nazis as not a unified force, or even how the US gained a great deal of officers, scientists and talent from Europe through programs like operation paperclip. Or even how Christoph Waltz switches from German, to French, to french, to Italian. Or representing the Americans as aroggant and mostly monolingual instead of super heroes.

The respect they gave to accuracy of culture, language, dialect, accent, history and geography was incredibly deep and watching it now after living in Germany and Europe so long, it's horrific and wonderful to watch all at once. Even if it was a German speaking all star cast that literally took almost every single German speaking actor that exists. Arnold Schwarzenegger doesn't count as a "german speaking actor". His German is probably worse than his English. Something he was known for even when he lived in Austria.

I could go on but this is long enough already. Suffice it to say I appreciate how Quentin Tarantino approaches hard subjects without shying away from how awful and complicated they actually were.

#ingloriousbasterds #movies #german #germany #immigrantlife

#ingloriousbasterds #movies #german #germany #immigrantlife

Mx Verda @[email protected] · 2024-11-11 · 13:52 UTC

literally what the fuck does this even mean?
https://www.gov.uk/guidance/indefinite-leave-to-remain-in-the-uk#your-biometric-residence-permit-brp

If you were curious about my legal permission to breathe within this un-submerged Earthling solid angle,
it's that.

If any UK book botherers want to enlighten me, please do.
Thank you for exactly zero legal advice in advance.

I will not be relying on it at all. (And frankly am at non-zero chance of forgetting it soon after.)

It is my understanding I'll maintain the same status but lapsed proof.

It is my experience and expectation that I'll become undocumented, and therefore human scum [sic].

#legal #law #lawyer #paralegal #barrister #appellant #judiciary #jurisprudence #court #CrownCourt #solicitor #immigration #migrant #emigrant #immigrate #immigrant #immigrants #ImmigrantLife #UK #British #English #UnitedKingdom #GreatBritain #TERFisland

#legal #law #lawyer #paralegal #barrister #appellant

Mx Verda @[email protected] · 2024-11-11 · 13:52 UTC

literally what the fuck does this even mean?
https://www.gov.uk/guidance/indefinite-leave-to-remain-in-the-uk#your-biometric-residence-permit-brp

If you were curious about my legal permission to breathe within this un-submerged Earthling solid angle,
it's that.

If any UK book botherers want to enlighten me, please do.
Thank you for exactly zero legal advice in advance.

I will not be relying on it at all. (And frankly am at non-zero chance of forgetting it soon after.)

It is my understanding I'll maintain the same status but lapsed proof.

It is my experience and expectation that I'll become undocumented, and therefore human scum [sic].

#legal #law #lawyer #paralegal #barrister #appellant #judiciary #jurisprudence #court #CrownCourt #solicitor #immigration #migrant #emigrant #immigrate #immigrant #immigrants #ImmigrantLife #UK #British #English #UnitedKingdom #GreatBritain #TERFisland

#legal #law #lawyer #paralegal #barrister #appellant

Mx Verda @[email protected] · 2024-11-11 · 13:52 UTC

literally what the fuck does this even mean?
https://www.gov.uk/guidance/indefinite-leave-to-remain-in-the-uk#your-biometric-residence-permit-brp

If you were curious about my legal permission to breathe within this un-submerged Earthling solid angle,
it's that.

If any UK book botherers want to enlighten me, please do.
Thank you for exactly zero legal advice in advance.

I will not be relying on it at all. (And frankly am at non-zero chance of forgetting it soon after.)

It is my understanding I'll maintain the same status but lapsed proof.

It is my experience and expectation that I'll become undocumented, and therefore human scum [sic].

#legal #law #lawyer #paralegal #barrister #appellant #judiciary #jurisprudence #court #CrownCourt #solicitor #immigration #migrant #emigrant #immigrate #immigrant #immigrants #ImmigrantLife #UK #British #English #UnitedKingdom #GreatBritain #TERFisland

#legal #law #lawyer #paralegal #barrister #appellant

Mx Verda @[email protected] · 2024-11-11 · 13:52 UTC

literally what the fuck does this even mean?
https://www.gov.uk/guidance/indefinite-leave-to-remain-in-the-uk#your-biometric-residence-permit-brp

If you were curious about my legal permission to breathe within this un-submerged Earthling solid angle,
it's that.

If any UK book botherers want to enlighten me, please do.
Thank you for exactly zero legal advice in advance.

I will not be relying on it at all. (And frankly am at non-zero chance of forgetting it soon after.)

It is my understanding I'll maintain the same status but lapsed proof.

It is my experience and expectation that I'll become undocumented, and therefore human scum [sic].

#legal #law #lawyer #paralegal #barrister #appellant #judiciary #jurisprudence #court #CrownCourt #solicitor #immigration #migrant #emigrant #immigrate #immigrant #immigrants #ImmigrantLife #UK #British #English #UnitedKingdom #GreatBritain #TERFisland

#terfisland #greatbritain #unitedkingdom #english #british #uk

Golden Retriever GF @[email protected] · 2024-11-06 · 11:23 UTC

CW: Long Post, Moving to Germany as Working Class

Here is my working-poor moving to Germany post. I work with people from Africa, Syria, Afgahnistan and poorer european countries like Serbia and Romania very frequently. These people have a weak passport and are from dramatically poorer countries. I am a cook. I was a cook in the USA and the vast majority of my progress to get to europe was done at minimum wage. The idea it's just for the super wealthy is a myth.

You don't get to call cooks both underpaid and overprivileged in the same sentence. Or Afgahnistan or Syrians or Muslims "privileged". So let's talk some tips for those of you that don't have backgrounds in high paying industries and even if you do, stick around it might help.

1) Start learning German now. I would hazard against duolingo and look for something like Memrise instead. It boosted me to an A1 in two years. Duolingo uses very negative reinforcement strategies and I'd argue it's not that good.
2) If you are in a job like culinary pull as much overtime as possible. Pick up every shift. Work two jobs. Find roommates. I labled food as an "Extravagance" and home became where I slept and nothing else. I was working at minimum 70 hour weeks for 3 years. People are literally walking out of bombed out houses all the way from Syria to Germany on foot. Overtime is a dream in comparison and what is coming in the USA... Overtime, discomfort and roommates are a cakewalk.

Is it healthy, fuck no. But it's better than dying and being given rohipnol like I was. And yes I was a teacher during a school shooting as well as almost shot for being queer, so I've been a little close to death.

3) I wouldn't just move to Germany because it's better. I do well here because my mindset is very close to Germans. Integration was easy and I was comfortable the whole time. Look for a country that matches your odd American edges that gets you in conflict with USians.

4) It is going to suck when you get here. Immigrants are a underprivileged class in other countries and you will be called an idiot, uneducated, and talentless. It is our stereotype here and you will not escape it.

Your first job and your first two years will try to pull your soul out of your eyeballs. I was required to take a German course that cost €220 a month while also working full time/overtime. It meant no weekend for 5 months and two hours of freetime a day. My first February here I had an appointment everyday and was still working overtime. And that's because Germany loves me and sees reasons to devote resources to me. It was the hardest thing I have ever done. Get the first job you can and keep a lookout for when your standing improves because your first job is almost garuanteed to suck ass.

5) Being on Germany's shit list is even worse. If you can get here patience and respect of every bureacrat is required and I still ran into one that stalled my progress until literally this month. Form connections with Germans or other Americans if you must. I would hazard against trying to find American enclaves. Integration is better than trying to retain your Americanisms in another country. You're trying to escape those anyways, right?

6) It will not be easy but it was one of the best choices I've ever made. Stick with your plans and don't falter. Be it saving before, picking up overtime, or your german lessons and integration when you get here.

7) Navigating German bureacracy is hard but if you get lucky there are bosses that will help you with moving and rent. Ther are bosses that will actually take you to immigration services or even pay part or all of your rent. Germany is dying for workers and it's possible in larger cities to find stuff like that EVEN as a cook. Or try to make some friends that might help you when you get there. @thatfrisiangirlish has been with me to almost every appointment from Ausländeramt to Einwohnermeldeamt.

8) Germany isn't perfect and I'd still avoid some states and areas. It still has it's problems with Fascism. Still has a problematic government and the work culture is incredibly strong. They refer to Germans as robots in europe because of it. I'd still argue I have never been happier.

#uspol #immigrantlife #workingclass #immigration #emmigration

#uspol #immigrantlife #workingclass #immigration #emmigration

Golden Retriever GF @[email protected] · 2024-10-21 · 19:18 UTC

I feel the need to answer a very pressing question I get from my countrymen "No Germany does not have Halloween Oreos. In fact Oreos of any kind are very hard to find here." You might find this tragic but it was actually harder for me to find practically zero Taco Bells.

P.S. This is for the intent of mild humor. I do not want American corporations to take over the wrold nor do I admire that Coca Cola supplanted other Colas like Mezzo. I have been anti-american since I was 14.

#immigrantlife #oreos

#immigrantlife #oreos

Golden Retriever GF @[email protected] · 2024-10-01 · 22:05 UTC