#explainitlikeimachild — Public Fediverse posts
Live and recent posts from across the Fediverse tagged #explainitlikeimachild, aggregated by home.social.
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I don’t want to jade your childhood by explaining these things now.
Just go play, respect others, and promise me you’ll read one dystopian novel before you’re old enough to vote.
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I don’t want to jade your childhood by explaining these things now.
Just go play, respect others, and promise me you’ll read one dystopian novel before you’re old enough to vote.
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Life sucks and then you die.
It's how you react to life sucking.
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#ExplainItLikeImAChild
#HashtagGames -
I yell at computers until they do what my boss wants.
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Well we send all our money to the computer and then the computer says no. American healthcare’s a snap.
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Well we send all our money to the computer and then the computer says no. American healthcare’s a snap.
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Well we send all our money to the computer and then the computer says no. American healthcare’s a snap.
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Golf is called a game of inches because it's mostly a dick measuring contest
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Golf is called a game of inches because it's mostly a dick measuring contest
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Golf is called a game of inches because it's mostly a dick measuring contest
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I could, if I wanted to. I just don't want to.
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I could, if I wanted to. I just don't want to.
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I could, if I wanted to. I just don't want to.
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Don't make me come over there!
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Don't make me come over there!
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Don't make me come over there!
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An apple a day keeps apple growers in business
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An apple a day keeps apple growers in business
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An apple a day keeps apple growers in business
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Electricity: Opposites attract.
But you’re right, at your age opposites don’t attract.
How about, take your hat off and blow up a balloon for me…
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Electricity: Opposites attract.
But you’re right, at your age opposites don’t attract.
How about, take your hat off and blow up a balloon for me…
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Electricity: Opposites attract.
But you’re right, at your age opposites don’t attract.
How about, take your hat off and blow up a balloon for me…
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Your chances of winning the lottery are vanishingly small. Your chances of getting rich by hard work are zero. Which is why you should play the lottery.
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Your chances of winning the lottery are vanishingly small. Your chances of getting rich by hard work are zero. Which is why you should play the lottery.
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Your chances of winning the lottery are vanishingly small. Your chances of getting rich by hard work are zero. Which is why you should play the lottery.
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If you love something, let it go. You're no good for anybody.
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If you love something, let it go. You're no good for anybody.
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If you love something, let it go. You're no good for anybody.
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What if I told you there was going to be a test on Monday, but you have until Friday to turn it in?
But then people who turned it in on Monday demanded that I give Fs to all the people who didn't turn it in on Monday? That would be wrong, wouldn't it?
That's what's California's election is like.
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What if I told you there was going to be a test on Monday, but you have until Friday to turn it in?
But then people who turned it in on Monday demanded that I give Fs to all the people who didn't turn it in on Monday? That would be wrong, wouldn't it?
That's what's California's election is like.
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What if I told you there was going to be a test on Monday, but you have until Friday to turn it in?
But then people who turned it in on Monday demanded that I give Fs to all the people who didn't turn it in on Monday? That would be wrong, wouldn't it?
That's what's California's election is like.
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Don't ask if it's fair to you. Just ask, "Is it fair?"
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Don't ask if it's fair to you. Just ask, "Is it fair?"
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Don't ask if it's fair to you. Just ask, "Is it fair?"
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“Because the president has a tiny peepee and his father never loved him.”
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Otto the Autopilot is, uh, he's, I mean she's, uh, Elaine is, um, uh, she's HELPING HIM TIE HIS SHOES. That's it. Of course! Yes, the pilot can't let go of the yoke, honey, or crashy, crashy. 😅 Now shhh.
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“Because the president has a tiny peepee and his father never loved him.”
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Otto the Autopilot is, uh, he's, I mean she's, uh, Elaine is, um, uh, she's HELPING HIM TIE HIS SHOES. That's it. Of course! Yes, the pilot can't let go of the yoke, honey, or crashy, crashy. 😅 Now shhh.
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“Because the president has a tiny peepee and his father never loved him.”
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Otto the Autopilot is, uh, he's, I mean she's, uh, Elaine is, um, uh, she's HELPING HIM TIE HIS SHOES. That's it. Of course! Yes, the pilot can't let go of the yoke, honey, or crashy, crashy. 😅 Now shhh.
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It's a big world with a lot of interesting and different kinds of people in it.
But there are other people who think people who aren't just like them are bad and should be mistreated or enslaved or killed.
Don't be like those people.
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It's a big world with a lot of interesting and different kinds of people in it.
But there are other people who think people who aren't just like them are bad and should be mistreated or enslaved or killed.
Don't be like those people.
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It's a big world with a lot of interesting and different kinds of people in it.
But there are other people who think people who aren't just like them are bad and should be mistreated or enslaved or killed.
Don't be like those people.
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You'll understand when you're older.
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You'll understand when you're older.
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You'll understand when you're older.
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I think this is a bad idea but if you decide to do it anyway, they will close the Strait of Hormuz.
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I think this is a bad idea but if you decide to do it anyway, they will close the Strait of Hormuz.
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I think this is a bad idea but if you decide to do it anyway, they will close the Strait of Hormuz.
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"STRANGER DANGER! STRANGER DANGER!"
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"STRANGER DANGER! STRANGER DANGER!"
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"STRANGER DANGER! STRANGER DANGER!"
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The early worm gets eaten.
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The early worm gets eaten.
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The early worm gets eaten.
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Balance is a sixth sense
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Balance is a sixth sense
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Balance is a sixth sense
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"Some kids are bullies. We know what bullies are like, right? Well, gangsters are adults who are much bigger bullies! The president is both a gangster, and the biggest bully of all. Some adults worship the gangster president - like he was God! We call them "Congress." Many of the people that adults vote for are gangsters, but all we really care about is money."
"Not even kids?"
"Have you heard about the president's best friend, Jeffrey Epstein?"
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"Some kids are bullies. We know what bullies are like, right? Well, gangsters are adults who are much bigger bullies! The president is both a gangster, and the biggest bully of all. Some adults worship the gangster president - like he was God! We call them "Congress." Many of the people that adults vote for are gangsters, but all we really care about is money."
"Not even kids?"
"Have you heard about the president's best friend, Jeffrey Epstein?"