#eagletactical — Public Fediverse posts
Live and recent posts from across the Fediverse tagged #eagletactical, aggregated by home.social.
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RE: https://mstdn.social/@GayDeceiver/116580129930326670
I gotta say, the command staff @ #EagleTactical is really leaning into their offerings…
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RE: https://mstdn.social/@GayDeceiver/116580129930326670
I gotta say, the command staff @ #EagleTactical is really leaning into their offerings…
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Eagle Tactical Seminars is proud to introduce OPERATION HEARTHLOCK(TM), a new program for the Eagle Tactical woman. This seminar will show your female companion about the intricacies of being the perfect battle partner to her Alpha male of maleness, and guide her through the steps necessary to support you in all your endeavors! Space is limited, so have your chick enroll today!
Seminar Review: https://open.substack.com/pub/eagletactical/p/operation-hearthlock-review
Seminar Description: https://open.substack.com/pub/eagletactical/p/operation-hearthlock
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Eagle Tactical Seminars is proud to introduce OPERATION HEARTHLOCK(TM), a new program for the Eagle Tactical woman. This seminar will show your female companion the intricacies of being the perfect battle partner to her Alpha male of maleness, and guide her through the steps necessary to support you in all your endeavors! Space is limited, so have your chick enroll today!
CHECK ALT TEXT
Seminar Review: https://open.substack.com/pub/eagletactical/p/operation-hearthlock-review
Seminar Description: https://open.substack.com/pub/eagletactical/p/operation-hearthlock
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@kpfssport it's a joke ... the #EagleTactical hashtag makes fun all of those insecure guys that overcompensate by pretending to be super dudes.
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Eagle Tactical knows that you need that glucose for energy during your long-distance optimization speed workouts. We are proud to introduce StrikeGel, the new creatine-filled, military-grade, prescription-required (only in Europe), energy gel. This is not for amateurs, betas, or women (because of the added testosterone). Comes in Alpha Citrus, Warberry Breach, Mango Fire, and Unflavored Command Presence! Get yours today and dominate all the runs!
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Eagle Tactical knows that you need that glucose for energy during your long-distance optimization speed workouts. We are proud to introduce StrikeGel, the new creatine-filled, military-grade, prescription-required (only in Europe), energy gel. This is not for amateurs, betas, or women (because of the added testosterone). Comes in Alpha Citrus, Warberry Breach, Mango Fire, and Unflavored Command Presence! Get yours today and dominate all the runs!
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COVER FOR ONE ANOTHER from Eagle Tactical Publishing
Some missions demand ammo. Others demand eye contact so intense it violates three articles of conduct.
From Eagle Tactical Publishing comes a classified brotherhood novel forged in sweat, silence, and suspiciously prolonged battlefield embraces. Two Marines. One mission. Zero emotional vulnerability—officially. Armor-plated loyalty. Bromance under fire.
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Social media is usually a cesspoll of terrible, terrible stuff ... except when it isn't.
At first glance, this looks like a put-together gay guy and his hot, dateless bestie at some party.
Turns out ... she's married to the guy. She claims he's 100% hetero. Digging a little deeper, she's a red-hat wearing chick who thinks women should treat their husbands as kings. She'd make a great #EagleTactical wife.
Takes all kinds.
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Eagle Tactical, in partnership with the Greater Southeast San Francisco Log Cabin Republicans Club, are proud to introduce the Brotherhood of Man Caribbean Cruise. Join us for 10 days of pure conservative rhetoric, presentation, and parties while indulging in some fitness times with fellow conservative men of manliness. Join today!
Inspired by:
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"You will not become 'a better version of yourself.' That language is weak, therapeutic, and probably scented. You will become a more operational version of yourself—harder, sharper, cleaner, and visually undeniable."
Latest, for men, from #EagleTactical
https://open.substack.com/pub/eagletactical/p/faceforge-ascension-protocol
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Your friends at Eagle Tactical understand that being your raw, unedited best self is no longer enough. Enter our Faceforge Ascension Protocol, our new program to dial your appearance all the way to 11. From face to body, Faceforge will turn you from a basement-dwelling troll to the kind of man who owns every place he enters. Join today!
Full Program Description:
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@GayDeceiver
& here I thought you’d finally announce #EagleTactical issuing AI Alpha agents… -
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Your friends at Eagle Tactical understand that sometimes, exuding all that Alpha Male, Lone Wolf energy constantly can be exhausting, and we’re proud to offer the Eagle Tactical Ironhaven Fortress for Men. No betas. No women. Only manly men of manliness. Together. Feeding off each other’s Alpha energy. Making bonds. Sweating together. Becoming better Alphas through intense one-on-one training and brotherhood. Join today!
Testimonial:
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@agatha hava you been introduced to the word of our Lord @GayDeceiver ? #EagleTactical
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Prom Time is nearly upon American High Schoolers, and your friends from Eagle Tactical are here to help your pasty, nerdy, non-sporty, overtly shy youngster secure a date he’s not related to. Let Eagle Tactical’s Prom Masters put together the kind of Promposal that no young lady would be able to refuse, no matter how far apart your child and his intended are in the high school social hierarchy. We guarantee success!*
*Success not guaranteed
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@maxleibman This post has #EagleTactical written all over it...
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Your friends at Eagle Tactical are proud to introduce AIgleTactical, our manly, man-man artificial intelligence. No longer will you speak into the void your ideas. Now, you'll have an electronic companion that will learn from you, validate your ideas, and help you implement them all the way to success. All your thoughts and ideas will be validated by the smartest, most reliable, self-improving AI ever built by a guy named Bubba. Use it today!
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Eagle Tactical, the manliest brand from the manliest nation in the planet is proud to introduce Tactical Indulgences* for the man of action who’s too busy righting the world’s wrongs with piety, humility, and good deeds. A single Tactical Indulgence certificate will provide full forgiveness** for any act committed to spew your Alpha energy around the world. Get yours today!
*No religious affiliation at all
**Does not cover any actual sin or acts against humanity -
Eagle Tactical understands that sometimes, men of manliness and strength celebrate the Apex Alpha Resurrection Event hard. Like, so hard. It’s the kind of epic celebration that changes the alignment of power in your town, generates a whole new set of agreements between churches, and forces a slew of state laws in its wake. Eagle Legal is here to help you, when you have gone so deep and so hard, the courts won’t let you talk about it.
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Your friends at Eagle Tactical understand that sometimes male perfection can be marred by a body that refuses to submit to your overwhelming maleness. When your body fails you and rebels with irritation and discomfort, you can roundhouse kick the irritation with Preparation-T, the most legally powerful hemmorroid medication. Infused with special natural ingredients from around the planet, your behind will be numb to anything and everything.
Inspired by
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Eagle Tactical, the brand of manly men of manliness, introduces Bro Wipes, the next step in wiping perfection. Each scientifically produced wipe is infused with dangerously high levels of caffeine, caseine, testosterone, creatine, and nicotine. Each wipe will not just cleanse you, but it will revitalize you, refill all your male energy, and give you the extra push you’ll need to dominate life with extreme, raging male energy.
Inspired by,
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Eagle Tactical understands that Good Friday it’s contact. The Apex Alpha carried the weight, took the pressure, and didn’t break. Neither do you. Lock in tight—shoulder-to-shoulder, no space, no weakness. Feel the strain. Lean into it. This brotherhood holds under load. No retreat. No relief. Stay locked. Stay dangerous. Celebrate the Day with blood, sweat, tears, creatine, and determination.
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Eagle Tactical is proud to announce a new partnership with the Eastern Northern Philadelphia Brotherhood of Men Association, Reformed, Orthodox Southern Region Club for Men. Moving forward, if you want to even read about our products, you must swear fealty to the club founder, Ezekiah Albertus Ophelium Von Snarus, III, pioneer of the Rites of Manhood, Holder of the Chalice of Truth, Father of Integrity, Keeper of the Ways, and Lover of the Right Righteous. Join today!
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Eagle Tactical, in partnership with some Legitimate Businessmen, is proud to introduce a special promotion of Tacti-KitKats for a great price! We have 12 tons for Tacti-KitKats for sale to the highest bidder! It's all legitimate. All above board. Our Legitimate Businessmen partners have reassured us that these Tacti-KitKats were obtained by entirely legally commercial means. Get yours today!
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Eagle Tactical, the brand of the adventurous man's man, is proud to introduce its Dangereux CamoWear line of clothing. For a small monthly fee, we will help you indulge in you fantasies. You will be sent custom-sized everyday wear that would allow you to get closer to your gentler side in the privacy of your home. Dangereux CamoWear is made for all shapes and sizes, and in all styles. Your secret desires will be satisfied with Dangereux CamoWear.
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Eagle Tactical is proud to introduce CamoChips, the most tactical of all potato-based snacks. Forged in a top-secret military lab, CamoChips contain 110% of the nutrition a manly man of manliness requires to execute any mission. Infused with massive amounts of creatine, protein, and testosterone, CamoChips will turn you into the most dominant of all males in your group. Get yours today!
[Avoid touching anyone for 1 day after consumption]
Inspired by,
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Eable Tactical is proud to present its newest Spring male-bonding retreat: Steel Covenant. This event, a hardened theater of masculine cohesion, where elite men engage in close-quarters brotherhood drills, prolonged tactical eye contact, and battlefield-grade morale reinforcement, is designed to drown you in positive male bonding energy. You will have tender breakthroughs in the arms of huge men. You will glisten like everyone as you absorb masculinity in its purest form.
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Eagle Tactical, the brand for men who exude Alpha masculine energy from every pore, is proud to introduce Mega Ultra Genital Protection Apparatus, the strongest, most powerful protection for your manhood. Made of Kevlar-coated Titanium and infused with the highest level of testosterone coating, this extra large shield will tell everyone around you that you’re the most Alpha of all males around you. Buy yours today!
* keep away from pregnant women while wearing.
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Eagle Tactical cares not just for your body, but also for your immortal soul. Join us online for Operation Iron Gospel, where we worship the Alpha of All Alphas. No hymns. No women allowed. For men of strength and dominance who take Salvation by its cajones and bring it into submission. Show up, listen to the Alpha Gospel, and lock into the celestial, divine forces of the Ultimate Alpha Male of All Alpha Males, Eagle Tactical Jesus, who's full of creatine and holy strength.
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Your friends at Eagle Tactical, in partnership with a minor Arab prince, are proud to bring to you our latest product: Dubai Tactical Nutritional Enhancement Pods. Made from the finest chemicals only found in the most glamorous city in the world, these chocolate-flavored meals are guaranteed to increase your testosterone to almost toxic levels while ensuring you receive 1000X the creatine your alpha body needs. Get yours today!
Inspired by,
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Eagle Tactical wants to support you as you fulfill your failed dreams through your children. We’re proud to introduce the Patriot Games Training Camp, which will turn that kid who could be a tribute into a worthy competitor for the very first Patriot Games. Our expert staff will transform your doughy, sedentary teen into a modern day gladiator who will carry your name to glory!
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Eagle Tactical wants to support you as you fulfill your failed dreams through your children. We’re proud to introduce the Patriot Games Training Camp, which will turn that kid who could be a tribute into a worthy competitor for the very first Patriot Games. Our expert staff will transform your doughy, sedentary teen into a modern day gladiator who will carry your name to glory!
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Eagle Tactical wants to support you as you fulfill your failed dreams through your children. We’re proud to introduce the Patriot Games Training Camp, which will turn that kid who could be a tribute into a worthy competitor for the very first Patriot Games. Our expert staff will transform your doughy, sedentary teen into a modern day gladiator who will carry your name to glory!
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Eagle Tactical wants to support you as you fulfill your failed dreams through your children. We’re proud to introduce the Patriot Games Training Camp, which will turn that kid who could be a tribute into a worthy competitor for the very first Patriot Games. Our expert staff will transform your doughy, sedentary teen into a modern day gladiator who will carry your name to glory!
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Eagle Tactical wants to support you as you fulfill your failed dreams through your children. We’re proud to introduce the Patriot Games Training Camp, which will turn that kid who could be a tribute into a worthy competitor for the very first Patriot Games. Our expert staff will transform your doughy, sedentary teen into a modern day gladiator who will carry your name to glory!
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Dudes out there getting tactical eyes so they can be be true operators
#tactical #EagleTactical #operator -
While libtard treehuggers take our #Straws, some misguided #MAGA are playing right into their hands saying Real Men don't drink from straws, presumably it reminds them of the face someone makes when paid to suck their micropeen.
But the real problem is there hasn't been a manly straw.
Until now.
Thanks to #EagleTactical, you can get 100% kevlar drinking tubes. Some call them straws, but don't be fooled. These tubes increase man points and testosterone by over 10000%.
https://newrepublic.com/post/195689/republican-congressman-burchett-straws-women -
While libtard treehuggers take our #Straws, some misguided #MAGA are playing right into their hands saying Real Men don't drink from straws, presumably it reminds them of the face someone makes when paid to suck their micropeen.
But the real problem is there hasn't been a manly straw.
Until now.
Thanks to #EagleTactical, you can get 100% kevlar drinking tubes. Some call them straws, but don't be fooled. These tubes increase man points and testosterone by over 10000%.
https://newrepublic.com/post/195689/republican-congressman-burchett-straws-women -
While libtard treehuggers take our #Straws, some misguided #MAGA are playing right into their hands saying Real Men don't drink from straws, presumably it reminds them of the face someone makes when paid to suck their micropeen.
But the real problem is there hasn't been a manly straw.
Until now.
Thanks to #EagleTactical, you can get 100% kevlar drinking tubes. Some call them straws, but don't be fooled. These tubes increase man points and testosterone by over 10000%.
https://newrepublic.com/post/195689/republican-congressman-burchett-straws-women -
While libtard treehuggers take our #Straws, some misguided #MAGA are playing right into their hands saying Real Men don't drink from straws, presumably it reminds them of the face someone makes when paid to suck their micropeen.
But the real problem is there hasn't been a manly straw.
Until now.
Thanks to #EagleTactical, you can get 100% kevlar drinking tubes. Some call them straws, but don't be fooled. These tubes increase man points and testosterone by over 10000%.
https://newrepublic.com/post/195689/republican-congressman-burchett-straws-women -
While libtard treehuggers take our #Straws, some misguided #MAGA are playing right into their hands saying Real Men don't drink from straws, presumably it reminds them of the face someone makes when paid to suck their micropeen.
But the real problem is there hasn't been a manly straw.
Until now.
Thanks to #EagleTactical, you can get 100% kevlar drinking tubes. Some call them straws, but don't be fooled. These tubes increase man points and testosterone by over 10000%.
https://newrepublic.com/post/195689/republican-congressman-burchett-straws-women -
Got myself a gender-affirming household device today — the BBQ Scrub Daddy!
As can be seen in the product images on the packaging, it is:
- Water Activated!
- Protected by heat-resistant ArmorTec STEEL™!
- Designed for heavy duty scouring
- Exclusive Materials to control my scrubbing power!
- Integrated bottle opener for that cold brewski I definitely have earned now, after cleaning up my own messThere's even a small cut-out in the box where you can touch the sponge and FEEL THE DIFFERENCE before purchase.
Sure, hoping it's a nice scubber for the grill, but man, do they go overboard with assuring me this is a super masculine product for real men. Thinking this is probably a subsidiary of #EagleTactical
(And oh, that "water activated" feature is the fact that if you soak it in water and directly use it on your hot grill, it WILL produce steam. Cool.)
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Someone recently bought "Tactical Specialty Pursuit Covert Work Gloves" after clicking on an Amazon ad for something else on one of my sites. That's #EagleTactical level nomenclature of fragile belligerence. And #baksheesh for me, the important part.
