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  1. “He’s fancy! He ordered mozzarella sticks for appetizers. Didn’t even look at the price, Daddy!”
    “You hold on to that man, sweet pea. He’s a keeper.”

    Inspired by:

    beige.party/@the_etrain/116575

  2. She likes to regale her dates with the original European folk tales … before they got sanitized by children’s authors.

  3. CW: AI-generated image

    Hot Christofacists in your area are looking to meet you …

  4. 'Merican Heesoos ... the real Messiah of America ...

  5. It’s the kind of gloriously good BM that makes you see a number of deities.

  6. Horny, but ambassadorially

  7. Horny, but revolutionarily

  8. “You are the worst kind of person in the universe!”
    “Universe? I don’t think you can factually back up your claim.”

  9. I love that my fur heater doesn't mind when I put my feet under it while working.

  10. It appears the Idiot met with someone who wouldn't buy what he was selling.

    Summits be like that.

  11. This video made my day.

    It is a shameless promo hidden as a lesson … but it is adorable.

    As you may know, Elmo doesn’t like Rocco, because Rocco is just a rock.





  12. “Violent Night” is an amazing Christmas movie. It asks the question, “What if Santa Claus got tired of being a jolly giver of gifts and went back to his roots … of being a winter war god?” It is definitely a super duper great Christmas movie.


  13. “Are the walls dancing?”
    “Dude. They are. This is some good sh1t!”


  14. “I let a demon take a couple of hits of this one a couple of years ago. He’s still high.”


  15. They call it Metaphysical because it’ll make you experience higher dimensional existences.